05x14 - Willona's Mr. Right

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Good Times". Aired: February 8, 1974, to August 1, 1979.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


A spin-off of Maude, which itself is a spin-off of All in the Family, making Good Times the first television spin-off from another spin-off; revolving around a poor family making the best of things in the Chicago housing projects.
Post Reply

05x14 - Willona's Mr. Right

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪

All right, Michael,
it's your turn now.

Don't throw a four, Michael,

because if you throw a four,
you'll land on "Go To Jail."

So don't throw a four.

Come on, dice, Brother Michael
needs a new pair of shoes.

Whoo. A big fat four!

Welcome to the slammer.

I don't want to play this
childish game anymore.

Oh, Michael, don't
be a sore loser.

Come on, now, it's my turn.

Don't throw a seven, Thelma,

because if you throw a seven,
you'll land on Marvin Gardens,

where you'll have
to pay me $1200,

and that'll wipe you out.

No way!

Come on, seven!

All right!

Look, I don't want to play
this childish game anymore.

Don't be a sore loser, Thelma.

Well, well, well.

Hello, dear friends,
wonderful family,

and Thelma.

Hey, J.J., what's in the box?

Michael, a new thing
we got at the ad agency.

It's called Formosa Punch.

Formosa Punch?

That's right.

A nutritious, delicious, drink.

Made from the fine essence
of Chinese mandarin oranges.

Is it good?

Well, that's what I'm here
to find out, Penny. See?

We're consumer testing
this in different markets,

and we want to find out
what the public response is.

Go ahead and take
a swig of it, there.

Yuck!

Oh, my goodness, this is awful.

This stuff tastes like
it's been strained through

Fu Man Chu's moustache.

I'll put y'all three
down as undecided.

Hi, y'all.

Hi, Willona.

I'm glad you're here, Willona.

We got a new thing at the ad
agency, we call it Formosa Punch.

Why don't you taste that,
See what you think of it.

Go ahead. That sure is

a pretty color. Yeah.

Good "gugamooga!"

That makes three undecideds
and one "good gugamooga."

Hey, guess who called me today?

Who?

Frank Mason.

That's terrific! That's super!

Who's Frank Mason?

Oh, well, he's an
old friend of mine.

He used to be a building
contractor around here

before he went off to Alaska.

That's been about three
years ago, huh, Willona?

Three years, six
months and two weeks.

But who's keeping score?

Anyway, he called
me at the boutique,

I told him to come by
and say hello to everybody.

No wonder you're
so excited, Willona.

Me, exci...

Me, excited? No,
I'm not, I'm cool.

Uh, how do I look?

Terrific, Mama.

Is this Frank Mason
somebody special?

Oh, no.

Nobody special.

Nobody special?

Willona, you almost married him.

Gramps, don't be silly.

Now, Frank and I had
a good time together,

but it was just
one of those things.

It's him!

I'll get it. Hold it!

Don't you do nothing...

Let me get myself together.

I want to be cool and collected
when he opens that door.

No that's not it.

Whoo!

Now.

Well, here I am.

I got a report about a busted
window in your bathroom.

Yeah, that was three months
ago, and we fixed it ourselves.

Well, I'm glad to
have been of service.

Uh, wait a minute, Bookman.

The hinge on the
toilet seat is loose.

Hey, that's dangerous.

A person could
get hurt that way.

A person did get hurt.

Hey, Bookman, since you're
doing such a good job around here,

how would you like a
nice refreshing drink?

Hey, don't mind if I do.

Scrumptious!

There you go, I told you.

Bookman likes it.

Booga liked it?

What does he know?

He eats Hamburger
Helper straight from the box.

Then he eats the box.

I'm chagrinned.

And you're
"cha-greedy" too, baby.

Mr. Bookman, can
I come watch you?

Sure, Penny, but, why
do you want to watch?

'Cause Mama always says
you don't know which end is up.

And I want to see how
the toilet seat turns out.

Come on.

Well, since Frank
isn't here yet,

I think I'll slip
home to my place,

put on something a little
more welcome home-ish.

You know what I mean?

Baby, just seeing you is
welcome home enough!

Honey, honey, we're not alone.

You remember Thelma, J.J...

Hi, Frank. Hi, Thelma.

Hey, J.J., how's your...?

Good to see you, man.

What's happening, Michael?

Hey, where's your dogsled?

Downstairs.

Double parked.

Boy, with those bad threads,

You must have really
hit it big in Alaska.

Well, I ain't saying that I
done well, you understand?

But, J.J., if I wanted to, I
could buy me four Cadillacs.

One for each direction.

Look here, y'all, Alaska
is just the beginning.

I've got buildings going
up all over the world.

Next week, I'm off to
Caracas, Venezuela.

Well, that figures.

You've been here
all of four hours.

Yeah, but this time,

we got something
permanent to talk about.

Permanent?

Permanent. With a capital "P."

We were just going.

We were?

Yeah, we were.

Oh yeah, that's right.

We were just going.

Yeah, we might as well leave,

and give away some more
of this Formosa Punch.

Who are we gonna give it to?

Who don't we like?

We already gave some to Bookman.

Let's see if Mrs.
Bookman's home.

Hey!

Whoo-wee.

Well, that's a relief.

You've been in Alaska so long,

I thought you might
want to rub noses.

Oh, yeah, well we
can get down with that.

Oh, it's been a long time.

You don't know
how I've missed you.

Oh, missed me?

I should have guessed, you
know, all those letters you wrote.

Hey, I'm not one for writing.

I'm better at saying
things in person.

Yeah, like, goodbye, baby.

I'm trying to say hello, baby.

Sure, that's why you're
off on the first thing

smoking to Caracas.

Yeah, but I'm not
planning on going alone.

For you, baby.

For me?

Oh, it's beautiful!

Frank, does Elizabeth
Taylor know you stole her ring?

You better stop it.

I tell you what. You
go on and try it on.

If it don't fit,

I'll take you out and
buy you a bigger finger.

Frank, why didn't you let
me go to Alaska with you

like I wanted?

Like I told you,

hey, we were so far
away from civilization,

that at the office party,
we used to have to

boogie down with the polar
bears and pinch the caribou.

Oh, Willona, what kind of life
would that have been for you?

We wouldn't have seen each
other for months at a time.

Instead, we don't see each
other for years at a time.

Well, look, baby, I
mean, all that's over now.

I'm back, and I got
plans for the future.

Willona, you're my future.

Oh, Frank.

Okay, so when do we pick
up the marriage license?

Is tomorrow too
soon? Now, sit down,

let me tell you some things
that are important, you know.

Okay, all right, lay it on me.

Well, when you left I didn't
know what to do with myself.

I ran around like a
chicken with a head cut off

trying to find something
and somebody to fill that void.

But now there is someone else.

There is?

Yes, someone that
loves me and needs me.

Someone you got
to meet right now

before we go any further.

Honey, come out here, please.

Yes, sugarplum?

n*gro, please.

You know I was
not talking to you.

Oh, that means you got
another honey in there?

I sure do.

Come on out, baby.

What is it, Mama?

Mama!

A lot of things have
changed since you went away.

This is my daughter, baby.

Your daughter? Uh-huh.

Well, she kinda tall
for three years old.

Well, it's all them grits
and everything, you know.

No, this is my adopted daughter.

Penny meet Frank
Mason, an old friend.

Frank Mason, Penny Woods.

Hi, Penny.

Hi, did you see any
Eskimos in Alaska?

Oh, sure, lots of them.

Do they really eat blubber?

Blubber?

Blubber is very big in Alaska.

It's very big here too.

Hey, Penny, where's
those little round things

with the holes in them?

He's so helpless without me.

Willona, she's beautiful.

Yeah, baby, she is the best
thing that's happened to me.

Okay.

When do the three of
us go down to city hall?

You still want to marry me?

Of course, I love you, Willona.

And now that I've met Penny,
I'm sure I'm a love her too.

Hey, we're going
to have great times,

tripping around the world.

But, Frank... Ahh.

We'll have a ball.

I got contracting deals lined
up in every corner of the globe.

Frank, I... Shh.

We'll go into town,
we'll pick up the sh*ts,

passport, marriage
license all at the same time.

Ain't life a blip!

All my life, I've dreamed of
traveling around the world,

And now it's all
gonna come true.

I've gotta think about Penny.

Well, what's to think about?

Wherever we trip, she trips.

Kuwait, Ghana,
Marrakesh, New Guinea

Oh, Frank, you don't understand.

Penny has been
drifting all of her life.

Now for the first time,
she's got real roots,

and a place she can call home.

I cannot take that
away from her.

Willona, she'll love
being on the move.

It's one wild
experience after another.

That's just what that
child does not need.

Another wild experience.

She has been
through hell, honey.

Now, what she needs now

more than anything
else is stability.

Well, wait, wait, wait.

Darling, don't you think
that if I could offer you

one home, in one place I would?

I got to travel.
My life's out there.

Frank, you know I know that.

Isn't it ironic?

You know, if you had asked
me this three months ago,

before Penny came into my life,

I would have
jumped at the chance.

But now, Penny needs me here.

And I got to stay, no
matter what the dues are,

I love you, baby.

But I can't marry you.

Not right now.

So, uh, maybe you
better take this back.

Okay.

But I'm not gonna
give up on you.

I'm a be in this town
seven more days.

And I'm gonna try my damndest
to make you change your mind.

Oh, I don't think you can,

but, I'm going to enjoy
every second of you trying.

Well, right on to the trying.

Hi, baby.

Oh, you're doing your
homework like a good little girl?

Well, when you finish that,
I got big surprise for you.

That's nice.

Aren't you going to ask
what the big surprise is?

Okay. What's the surprise?

Frank is taking
us out to dinner.

We're going to Fritz,

wait till you see the
size of those steaks.

I like hamburgers.

Honey, look at this.

Think Frank'll like
to see me in this?

Yes, Willona.

Or should I wear
my peasant outfit?

Did I wear that Monday or...?

Oh, Well, it doesn't matter,
this is Frank's favorite color.

You know, he called me
six times a day at work,

talking a whole lot of nonsense.

And I said to him:

"Do you wanna see something
in a soft, pink, satin jumpsuit?"

And he said, yes.

Me! Ow!

Aren't you excited
about going out tonight?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Isn't Frank the most
fantastic man you ever met?

Uh-huh.

Well, I'm going to take a bath.

You pick out what
you wanna wear,

and I'll find you a
matching ribbon, okay?

Okay.

Penny, can I borrow
your bubble bath?

Uh-huh.

Thank you.

Hey, uh, Penny.

Could I borrow some
of your detergent?

It's under the sink.

Yeah, Thelma
used it all last night,

to blast some refried
beans off the pot.

J.J., do you spell burden
with an "o-n" or an "e-n"?

Well that all depends, Penny.

See, you can use the
"e-n" if you want to use

the subject
nominative of the verb.

Sometimes the subject nominative
verb is not always available.

Then that calls for
an adjective of phrase,

which is another
whole story all together.

And then you have
a predicate pronoun,

which can be used
once in a while,

if the adverb is not
around, you understand?

But, then, sometimes,

a nominative clause of
the verb gets inverted,

with a pronoun.

And then, if you want
to use the "o-n," then,

that's another case
all together, you know?

What happens there,
is you get one of them

"arastits" in there.

Them "arastits" can hurt
your hand when you're writing,

You know how you make
those little things in there?

And then you throw a gerund in.

If you throw a gerund
in with the arista,

what happens is you
get a dangling participle,

and you don't want
your participle to dangle.

You can use all of these
things if you use a "w" or a "u,"

but this is only in the case
where it is followed by a "z."

Oh, "e-n."

Uh, what are you writing anyway?

It's a secret.

A secret, from the object
of your main affections?

If I tell you something,

will you promise
you won't tell a soul?

I promise.

Swear you won't tell?

If I shall blab,
if I shall squeal,

may I lose all of my sex appeal!

Okay, I'm gonna
run away from home.

You're going to run away, what?

"Dear Mommy," I am
running away from home,

"because I don't want
to be a burden anymore.

"Please go around
the world without me,

"and don't try to find me.

"Love and kisses, Penny.

P.S., I love you."

What is this all about, Penny?

I'm in the way.

Penny, you're not in the
way and you're not a burden.

Yes, I am too.

Mr. Mason wants to marry Mama
and take her around the world.

And she wants to go.

Only she can't on account of me.

Whatever gave you that idea?

Well, I sort of heard Mr. Mason
and Mama talking about it.

And that's why I'm running away.

Penny, me and you got
a lot of talking to do, here.

You'll just try to
talk me out of it.

No I won't.

Yes you will.

You have that shifty
look in your eyes.

My eyes are
always shifty, Penny.

See, that's my style.

Now, what's all this about?

Well, I heard Mama tell
Mr. Mason that I needed roots,

and that she couldn't
be his, 'cause I was hers.

Maybe she was just
trying to dump the guy,

and using you as an excuse.

But she kissed him.

That don't mean nothing.

Plenty of my girls kiss me.

And that don't
mean they love me.

Some of them don't even like me.

Many of them don't even know me.

They just doin' that,

to get me from leaning
up against their door.

So I'll go on home.

Well, I think Mama meant it
when she kissed Mr. Mason.

And we'll all be
better off if I go away.

Oh, no, Penny, Willona'll
be heartbroken if you left.

She'll forget about me.

No she won't.

She'll be miserable without you.

All mommies are miserable
without their children.

You mean, like your
mama in Arizona?

Is she miserable without you?

Yeah, in a way, but it's
a different story, Penny.

'Cause, see, me, Thelma
and Michael, we're big kids.

But, see, you're only
a little tiny morsel.

Under 18. A minor.

And, see, if the
policemen heard about this,

they'd come take
you away immediately.

You're right.

Well,

I guess now you know
what you gotta do.

Uh-huh. I'll lie,

and say I'm a
18-year-old midget.

Or maybe I can borrow
some lipstick from Thelma.

And that'll help me look older.

Thanks, J.J.

You don't wanna borrow
any lipstick from Thelma.

That'll make you
like an orangutan.

Well, I guess we
can talk this over,

over a long rinse
cycle. What do you say?

Ok, I'll carry the
detergent for you.

No, no, no.

That's much too heavy for you.

Here, grab this. Much better.

All right.

I'll get the door for you.

I see you struggling there.

Let me get the door
for you, come on.

Come on now. Let's
move on over here.

Yeah, there you go.

All right! Ha, ha, ha.

Hey, Thelma, what's wrong?

Michael, I poured some of that
Formosa Punch down the sink,

and the sink turned orange.

And now I can't get it out.

It'll be alright,
sis, hang in there.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Miss Johnson.

What?

Oh, Miss Johnson, I'm
sorry. I didn't mean to laugh.

What? Well, maybe you got
a bad can of Formosa Punch.

They're all bad.

Well, why don't
you try sandpaper?

Well, good luck, Miss Johnson.

Okay, bye.

Boy, she's really angry, Thelma.

Michael, what happened?
Did her sink turn orange too?

No, her dentures.

Her dentures?

Is Penny here?

No. No.

She left this note.

I don't believe it. I
think she's run away.

Run aw...?

Oh, my goodness. I can't...

Michael, look, you go downstairs
and see if you can find her.

I know she couldn't get far.

That child is my life.

If anything happens
to her, Thelma, I...

Willona, nothing's
going to happen.

Everything's gonna be fine.
You stop worrying, okay?

Tell me what happened.

We got dressed and
were gonna go out,

then I found the note.

Thelma, she's gone.

I tried so hard to
be a good mother.

I think I'm a failure.

No you're not, Willona.
You're not a failure.

Everything's okay.

Maybe I was too strict.

No, no, no. You gave
everything she wanted, you know.

You're right, you're
right. I was too lenient.

Hi, Thelma. Oh, hi.

Hi, baby, I tried your
apartment, you weren't there.

You ready to go? I made
reservations for 8:00.

Oh, Frank!

I could change it to 9:00.

I can't find Penny.
She's run away, I think.

Tell me what happened.

I don't know. She wrote
something about being a burden.

I don't know what's wrong.
I don't know what I've done.

Okay, calm down. Have
you called the police?

The police, I should have
called them in the first...!

Okay, okay, calm down.
She'll turn up, baby.

See?

Oh, Penny!

Oh, hi, Mama.

Baby, where you been?

I've been worried to death.

In the laundry room.

You mean you ran
away to the laundry room?

How did you know?

I guess she read
your little note.

You weren't supposed
to until after I left.

Oh, baby, come here.

Why did you try to run away?
Aren't you happy with me?

Oh, yes, Mama.

But, I thought you'd
be happier without me.

And that way, you
could marry Mr. Mason,

and see the world.

And other swell places.

What gave you that silly idea?

The other night,
when we were talking.

Ohh. Oh, baby, I don't
want to see the world.

My world is right here with you.

But you love Mr. Mason.

You kissed him.

Three years ago,
I loved Mr. Mason.

But the other night,
when we kissed,

we both knew, it was all over.

Right, Frank?

Oh, right, right. Right.

Then how come you
wanted to marry my Mama?

Well, uh, for, uh,
companionship.

That's right. Just
for companionship.

But I heard you say,
three months ago,

you would have
jumped at the chance.

I would have jumped at the
chance, three months ago.

But three months ago,
I didn't have you, baby.

Then I am in the way.

Oh, Penny, come here, honey.

Now, if three months ago,
some other woman had said,

I'm offering you a house,
and security and love,

would you have
jumped at the chance?

Yes.

Would you do that now?

No.

I wouldn't wanna give you up.

And I wouldn't
wanna give you up,

for anything in the world, baby.

You mean it? Oh, yeah.

Honest and true?

Honest and true.

I love you so much.

Willona, I looked
all over, and...

Hey, Penny, you're back.

I never was away.

Well, well, well.

Now this is a joyous occasion.

This calls for a swig
of Formosa Punch!

Formosa Punch?

I better go get dressed.

I'm going out with
Mama and Frank tonight.

Ah, Formosa Punch.

Penny, I'll help you.

Hey, y'all, wait up for me.

I'm gonna go to Jack in the
Box, and talk to the clown.

Well, I guess that just
leaves us, Frank and Willona.

Down some Formosa Punch.

J.J. Evans can take a hint.

If I have to drink
this delicious stuff,

all by myself, I
will. Ha, ha, ha.

I guess I'll have to put
down another undecided.

You know, I never
dreamed I'd say this to you,

but you are one beautiful liar.

And you are one
beautiful mama, Mama.

You do understand, don't you?

Yes, baby, I understand.

Hey, and you know something?

You made the right decision.

Oh, it wasn't the
right decision.

It was the only decision.

And I love you for it.

Hey, pretty, if I ever decide
to settle down in one place,

this has got to be the place.

Well, try me again
in three years.

Same time, same place.

You got a date.

Let's go get Penny.

Okay, but, look,
you better write me.

I ain't goin' for
no more of this...

I don't need to
write, I'm like...

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

Good Times was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.

♪ Good times ♪
Post Reply