02x06 - Thelma's Young Man

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Good times Any
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♪ Good times Any time
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♪ Not gettin' hassled
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♪ Keepin' your
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♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

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♪ Scratchin' and
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♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

Hey, Thelma, what
you doing in there?

Cooking dinner, fool.

Don't you know
it's against the law

to burn trash on Tuesday?

If you want to eat,

then stay away from there.

Mm, mm, mm.

Well, Thelma, bad news.

You put up a good fight,

but your chicken done d*ed.

What happened?

It look like your Shake 'N
Bake done shook 'n burn.

That's the way it's
supposed to look.

J.J., when they were
handing out brains,

you were in the other line
getting seconds on mouths.

[TCHAIKOVSKY'S
SWAN LAKE PLAYING]

Now what you doing?

Playing some music.

You mind?

You call that music?

Yes, I do.

Gladys Knight, forgive us.

Leave that on.

It's a classic.

Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.

Well, tell the swans to get
out, because the lake's polluted.

Don't touch that now.

This part coming
up is the part I love.

It's where the swan does

a graceful pirouette
and slowly dies.

What's going on here?

You've got a dead
chicken in there,

a swan dying in here...

What's this, a
feather funeral parlor?

That shows you how much you know

about good music, J.J.

Donald gave me this album,

and he has good taste.

Hmm, how can he have good taste?

He's going out
with you, ain't he?

I don't even want
to talk to you, J.J.

You're childish,
immature, and ignorant.

Who you calling
childish and immature?

I happen to be up to
shaving twice a week now.

Well, you have more
fuzz on your brains

than you do on your chin.

Now, hold on.

That's twice you
called me stupid.

And that's twice you answered.

All your head is good for

is insults, anyway.

Well, that's cool.

At least my head is good
for that, but look at this.

Well, I see I'm just in
time for the dinner show.

Hi, Daddy. Hey, Thelma.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Junior. You know,
I ought to get both of y'all

on the job with me
down at the carwash.

Y'all let off enough hot
air to dry off cars a day.

Your mother home yet?

No, she's still out
looking for work.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hold it.

It's probably a
dynamic little street fox

who heard about
my fantastic body.

Hello, lucky person.

You got the number right,

because you are
talking to Kid Dyn-o-mite!

Thelma?

Man, ain't you got nothing
better to do with your time?

Hello?

Oh, hello, Donald.

Just a minute please.

Do you mind?

This is a very personal call.

Junior... Thanks, Dad.

And Thelma, the minute
you get off that phone,

I want to talk to you, you hear?

Okay, Daddy.

Yeah, Donald?

What?

Well, I was planning to
have dinner with my family,

but...

Well, if it's that
important, okay.

I'll be downstairs
waiting for you, okay?

Okay, bye, Donald.

You going to do what?

Nothing, Daddy, nothing.

Don't give me that
nothing stuff, Thelma.

You've been seeing this Donald

for over two months.

Ain't none of us even seen
him. Now, what's going on here?

Yeah, why are you hiding him?

What's he do for a
living, push swans?

All right, Thelma,
start talking.

Daddy, I don't
have time right now.

Thelma, you ain't going nowhere

until you tell me
what's happening.

Oh, Daddy, I'll be back soon
and then we can talk, okay?

Oh, Daddy, I love you.
Oh, Daddy, please, huh?

Thanks, Daddy.

Get in here this damn minute!

I'm moving as fast as I can.

Florida, you have to have
a talk with your daughter.

My daughter?

Yeah, Dad tried having
a talk with his daughter,

but it didn't work out at all.

Now, baby, I told
that girl not to go out.

Now, who the hell is
this Donald character

none of us seems to
know nothing about?

Beats me, honey.

She won't tell me
a thing about him.

All I hear from Thelma lately

is "Donald-this"
and "Donald-that,"

"Donald says" and "Donald does."

How come I ain't seen no
Donald nowhere no how?

Yeah, how come?

And how come he don't
pick her up at the door

like the rest of her dates?

Yeah, how come?

You know, one more "how
come" out of you and you're going

to wonder how come you ain't
in the same room with your teeth.

James, there's no need to
get yourself all worked up.

Lord, I ain't getting worked up.

I am worked up.

Now this house has got
rules, baby, important rules,

and if some cat is
taking my daughter out,

I expect him to pick
her up at the door

in plain sight of me
and deliver her home.

James, you talk
about your daughter

like she's a bag of laundry.

Well, Florida, she's got
to be hiding something.

How come this Donald ain't
never been up to the house?

Maybe he's a wino and
can't climb the stairs.

J.J... Hi, everybody.

Where was Thelma going?

You mean you saw your sister?

Yeah, she drove away
in a car with some dude.

Did you see what he
looked like? No, Mama.

More important than that,
what did the car look like?

Kind of nice.

Oh, yeah?

Did all the wheels have
the hubcaps on them?

Yeah, I think so.

Then one thing we know for sure.

This dude ain't from
this neighborhood.

Florida, Thelma said
she'd be back soon.

Now she been
gone over two hours.

That don't seem
like soon to me, baby.

I'm telling you,
I don't like it.

I don't like it at all!

James, be calm and don't yell.

I ain't yelling!

If you're not yelling,

then Michael must
be a ventriloquist.

Mom, Dad,

look what I found
in Thelma's room.

J.J., what business have you got

in Thelma's room?

Just doing a little
detective work.

This fancy book that
Donald must have given her,

Crime and Punishment
by Doskioffsky.

It all adds up.

What adds up, Junior?

This afternoon,

she was playing this
record by this other dude

named Choskioffsky.

Now she's reading this
book by Doskioffsky.

So that's what it is.

That's what?

Donald is recruiting her
into the Communist Party.

Number one son, not too bright.

Baby, when Thelma
gets in here tonight

I'm going to give it to
her and give it to her good.

J.J., what are you doing?

I want to get a good
seat for this one, Ma,

because as we say in the ghetto,

you are about to see
the grits hit the fan!

Put that chair back.

There ain't going to be
no trouble around here.

Oh, that's what you think, baby.
That girl been getting too fast.

We're just going to
have to slow her down,

and that's all
there is to it, period.

Now, look here,
young lady... Ooh.

"Young lady."

Thanks. I needed that.

We were expecting Thelma.

She's out with
that Donald again.

And you still haven't met him?

No.

Well, in a way, you can't
blame Thelma, James.

Let's face it. Every time she
brings a boy to this house,

you're not a father,
you're a district attorney.

What you talking about, Willona?

Florida, you know I ain't
never interfered my whole life.

I just want to know
what she's doing...

every minute.

Hi, Willona. Hi,
Mom. Michael, J.J.

Hi, Daddy. Hi, baby.

"Hi, Daddy," my foot.

Now where you been, young
lady, and what kept you so long?

Donald took me to a little
Chinese place for dinner.

Two-to-one he's
going to want to know

what her fortune cookie said.

Did you say something, Willona?

Uh, I said I was going
to paint my kitchen red.

And what after dinner?

Did he just take off
like a thief, like always?

He's downstairs, Daddy.

Well, what's he doing
downstairs, Thelma?

How come he's afraid

to set foot in this house?

He's not afraid.

I asked him not to yet.

Thelma, you've been
going out with him

for a long time.

What's the matter, honey?

Are you ashamed of your family?

Oh, Ma, you know that's not it.

It's just that, well,

I'm not sure how
you'll react to Donald.

Oh, Thelma.

Now, you know any
boy you're going out with

is bound to be okay with us.

Yeah, we trust your
judgment, baby girl.

It's just that your mother
and I want to meet the cat.

You know, I want to size him up,

talk to him before
I throw him out.

James...

Well, what do you
expect me to do, Florida?

Some cat's been messing around
with my daughter for two months

and we ain't even seen him.

He deserves anything I put on...

Daddy, Daddy, does this
look like he's messing around?

Thelma!

Oh, my God!

Whoo-wee.

And you didn't even tell me?

Hey, that's...

How you come by that ring, huh?

A real diamond, baby.

Where did he get the money
to bring you that ring, Thelma?

How you come by it, huh? See?

See, I knew it
would be like this.

Ma, that's why I
couldn't tell you.

Come on, Florida.
You know Thelma.

She's got to have a
good reason, honey.

Let me see that ring.

Mm-hmm.

This ring must be hotter
than the Chicago fire.

Will you cool it, J.J.?

James, what kind of a kid is it

that would give a
year old a ring like that?

I can think of a few kind, baby,
and I don't like none of them.

Daddy, his name is Donald Knight

and he's very respectable,

and he bought this ring.

Oh, Daddy, he
has a very good job.

He works with his father

in the restaurant business.

Knight?

Now, his father

wouldn't happen
to be Elmore Knight

of the barbecue
chicken places, would it?

Yeah, that's him.

Ooh-whee.

He owns chicken
places all over town.

He's the black Colonel Sanders.

Boy, my favorite little
sister really struck it rich.

All right, J.J.

That's enough of that.

All this talk about money.

Thelma, is that why
you want to marry him?

Of course not, Ma.

We're engaged because
we love each other.

Florida and James, now, look.

Take it easy. Everything's
going to be all right, okay?

Michael, why don't you
come over to my house

and look at television
for a while, honey?

Oh, why?

Because this discussion
ain't for no little boys.

I ain't no little boy,
Daddy. I'm years old.

You want to make ?

Come on, Willona.

Florida, I smell a rat.

There's something
about this whole thing

just don't sit right with me.

All of a sudden,

some captain got hisself all
set up to marry our daughter

and he ain't even showed
his face in this house?

What's the big hurry, Thelma?

The hurry is we want
to get married, Dad.

I said what's the
big hurry, Thelma?

James, what are you driving at?

I ain't driving at nothing.

I've arrived at the question.

What's the big hurry, Thelma?

James, you know Thelma better

than to think anything
like that about her.

I ain't thinking nothing.

I'm asking, what's
the big hurry, Thelma?

Daddy!

Now, look, Thelma,

I want it straight and
I want it right now.

Now what kind of
a cat is this Donald?

Oh, Daddy, Donald's different.

He's the kind of guy
that a girl dreams of.

He's cultured, he's intelligent,

he loves dancing
and he loves music.

He's kind and understanding...

Oh, he's a really
together person,

you know, J.J.?

He's the kind of person

who makes me
feel safe and secure

just being with him.

He's... He's... [KNOCKING]

He's the kind of guy

who doesn't stay
downstairs when I tell him.

Everybody, this is Donald.

Donald, these are my parents.

It's a pleasure to
meet you at last.

And I am the senior
child in the family,

and I am proud to welcome you

with the good news

that you have passed
the supreme test.

Loaded with good
looks, loaded with charm,

and just plain loaded.

This is J.J.?

This is J.J.

Your description
was perfect, honey.

Mrs. Evans,

from everything that
Thelma has told me about you

I could pick you
right out of a crowd.

The same with
you, too, Mr. Evans.

Oh, that's easy.

We're the two with the
surprised looks on our faces.

I think I can imagine
how you feel.

Mister, you ain't
got the foggiest idea

how I feel.

What my husband is trying to
say is we don't know what to say.

We were expecting,
well, someone like...

Well, what we really
want to know is...

What the hell

is an old man like
you doing going...

Oh, Daddy... It's okay, Thelma.

Now, I told you we shouldn't
have waited this long.

Your father has a right to know.

How old are you?

He's young, Dad.

Just working around
those chickens

make him look old.

I'm not ashamed of my age.

Now, I'm .

?

Lord, have mercy.

Well, I guess when you
look at me and Thelma

you think of me
as a dirty old man.

Bingo, Jack.

Well, look, ain't no sense
in a lot of fat-mouthing.

I make the rules in this house.

Here's your ring back, man.

Oh, Daddy, that's not fair.

Ma, he has no right
to give my ring back.

You're right, honey.

That's a mother's job.

Well, I'm sorry,
but I won't accept it.

Now, I gave this ring to Thelma

because I love her
and I want to marry her.

Now, it's not
yours to give back.

It's mine and I want to keep it.

I knew you'd act like this.

That's why I didn't want
Donald to come here.

What right do you
have to plan my life?

We have every right.

You're our daughter.

And you can't get married
without our permission.

Well, next year I'll be ,

and I won't need
anybody's permission.

Thelma...

Uh, Mr. Knight, I think
you'd better let me do that.

It's about time that
you and my husband

have a man-to-man talk.

Yes, Lord.

J.J., you go on over
there to Willona's.

I'm going to talk to Thelma.

Ha, ha, ha...

Well, now that we men
are all alone together,

let me offer a few words.

Uh...

Bye.

I'm sorry it's working
out this way, Mr. Evans.

Hey, can I call you James?

No.

Man, call me anything you want,

just as long as it
don't get to be "Dad."

You a drinking man?

On occasion,

and this sure strikes me
as one heck of an occasion.

What's it going to be, Pops?

Muscatel or Geritol?

Hey, James... Uh,
Mr. Evans, if you want.

Now, can't we stop sniping

and talk to each other straight?

Okay, man, have a seat.

Thank you.

Now, look here.

You look like a man
that's been around.

I bet you done
had a lot of foxes

running through
your chicken coop.

Yeah, but Thelma is different.

Sure she's different, man.

She's just a baby.

Well, you're her father.

She's always going
to be a baby to you,

but she's a great deal
more than that to me.

How much more?

Now, look, man,

let's get down
to the nitty gritty.

I'm going to ask you
right out front, now...

Now, you set your mind at ease.

The answer is no,
for two reasons.

Now, one is Thelma
and one is me.

Now, I'm thinking marriage, man.

Well, I'm thinking futures, man.

Look at yourself
years from now.

Thelma will be in her late s,
and you'll be her late husband.

It sure is a
beautiful ring, honey.

Thanks, Ma.

When your Daddy proposed to me

he didn't give me
no engagement ring.

He didn't?

Uh-uh.

He proposed to me

in an amusement
park at the beach,

and when I said yes,

he spent cents
on a claw machine

trying to catch a ring.

All he caught

was six jellybeans
and a whistle.

Oh, Mama... Oh, that whistle

was better than a ring, though.

Every time another man
so much as looked at me,

your daddy blew that whistle

and yelled, "This
woman is taken!"

I still remember running home

and telling my
mama the big news.

Thelma, that's what
bothers me about this.

We've always been so close.

You never kept anything from me.

I wanted to tell you,
Ma, lots of times,

but I knew you'd tell Daddy,

and you know Daddy.

Well, I wouldn't have told him

if you didn't want me to.

Oh, Ma, when you and Daddy

put your heads together
on that pillow every night,

you know there's nothing
you wouldn't tell each other.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I hope it's that way
with me and Donald.

Maybe.

That is,

if you're not rushing
into anything.

Like your daddy says, honey,

what's the hurry?

Ma, what are you asking me?

Just what's the hurry?

Ma, do you think I'm pregnant?

Did I say that, child?

Why would I think
anything like that

about my baby girl?

Are you?

Oh, Mama, before I would
even think of something like that,

do you know how much
I'd have to love him?

Are you saying that
you don't really love him?

Oh, no, Ma.

I'm not saying that at all.

I'm just saying that...

Well, Donald's a
beautiful person.

I know he's years old,

but he's cultured,

a man who can have
anything and anyone,

and he wants me.

But do you love him?

Oh, he's shown me
a whole new world.

Fine music, books...
Do you love him?

We go to plays and concerts.

Do you love him?

Oh, Ma, he's good for me.

Thelma, do you love him?

Oh, Ma, you keep asking me that.

Well, then just answer me.

What?

Do you love him?

All right.

Of course I do.

Did you ever tell him?

I don't know.

I don't remember.

What's the difference?

He knows I love him.

But did you tell him?

You know, when your father and I

got engaged, I yelled
it loud and clear,

and I been yelling
it ever since,

so if you love him,

just go right out
there and tell him so.

Shout it to the world, Thelma.

Mr. Evans, you may
not know your daughter

as well as you think.

Now, she's more
than just a young girl.

Now, she's got warmth,
she's got a good mind,

she's fun to talk to...

Don't nobody know that
better than her daddy.

You know something, man?

What?

You ain't a halfway
bad, dude... Hey.

For somebody else's daughter.

You sure know
how to flatter a man.

What you two doing back here?

What's happening here
is better than what's on TV.

Turn right on around

and go on back to
Willona's... Thelma...

Your father and I

were just talking about you.

I figured you would be.

Thelma has something
to say to you, Donald.

Ma... Go ahead, child.

Say it.

Tell me what, Thelma?

That she loves you.

Oh, Ma, here?

In front of the whole family?

Oh, Ma, this is
not the place for it.

This is exactly
the place for it.

I feel silly.

You just said you loved her,

didn't you, Mr. Knight?

I did, and I'd be
happy to say it again,

no matter who was listening.

I love you, Thelma.

Well, there it is,
right down in front,

Thelma.

Donald is waiting, child.

You do love me,
don't you, Thelma?

Well, then say it.

Well...

He's waiting.

I understand. You don't
have to say anything, Thelma.

Mr. Evans,

you've got a
wonderful little girl here.

Goodbye, everybody.

Goodbye, Donald.

Oh, Mama...
Sweetheart, it's all right.

It's all right.

Well, Thelma, you
just blew a chance

for us to have free chicken
for the rest of our lives.

What you thinking, baby?

About Thelma.

That was a close call.

It sure was.

She's growing up fast, James.

It ain't going to be too long
before she meets the right one,

and then it's going
to really happen.

Yeah, but right now,

I don't want to think about
us losing our baby girl.

Well, we can't stop it.

I just hope when she
picks the right man

it'll be someone like you.

She almost did.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

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Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

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