02x09 - The g*ng: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Good times Any time
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♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and
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♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

On the for real side, man,

I can't wait for
the action tonight.

We gonna be on them
Warlords like white on rice.

Yeah, man. We really gonna
waste those chumps bad tonight.

Hey, you with us tonight, J.J.?

Well, I would like to
join you gentlemen

in this evening's activities,

but unfortunately, you see,

I have an emergency
dental appointment.

My baby tooth is starting
to cut through my gums.

See it's right in
here. Oh, the pain.

Hey, man. You trying to tell
us you still got your baby teeth?

Well, I can't help it if my body
grew faster than my baby teeth.

Man, where you
gonna find a dentist

at : on a Saturday night?

I don't know, but that's
what makes it an emergency.

J.J., Mad Dog
handed down the word.

Now, you been a Satan's
Knight for three months now,

and you copped out every time
we was getting ready to go down.

You cop out tonight...

instead of going to the dentist,

you'll be able to
mail in your teeth.

Since you put it that way,

I can put my baby
tooth a little further back

on my priority list.

Now you talking, man, because
we need everybody we can get.

Right on. See, because
when we get finished

wiping out them Warlords,

Satan's Knights will be the
baddest g*ng in Chicago.

Right on, man. Right on.

We gotta get them for last time.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they
put a hurting on us last time.

Fifteen Satan's Knights
stretched out and two dead.

Yeah, two dead.

Two dead?

Well, see, I'm a Sagittarius,

and my horoscope says
today's a bad day for bleeding.

Cool the jive, J.J.

You better be there.

Yeah, you better be there.

We'll be here to
pick you up at : ,

and Mad Dog is gonna be with us.

And don't nobody
say no to Mad Dog.

Think on that for a while.

Hello, Mrs. Evans.
Hello, Mrs. Evans.

Hello there, Sylvester. Tyrone.

Well, why are y'all
standing here in the hall?

J.J., why don't you
invite your friends in?

Oh, you see, Mrs. Evans,
we were just leaving.

We came by to invite
J.J. to a dance tonight.

Yeah.

Oh, that's nice. You
boys have a nice time now.

Thank you, Mrs. Evans, we will.

Bye, Mrs. Evans.

Bye, now.

Well, goodbye.

Don't forget, J.J. : .

And you better be ready,

or your folks will
need a program

to know who you are.

Hey, Junior.

What's wrong with you?

I seen accident victims
look happier than you do.

Nothing, Dad.
Nothing to worry about.

He's probably
trying to figure out

which one of his girls

he's gonna take to
the dance tonight.

His friends just invited him.

Yeah? You gonna
take Henrietta, son?

Nah, Dad. I ain't
taking no girl.

You going stag?

Yeah, I expect to be
doing a lot of staggering.

Now, J.J., there isn't gonna
be any drinking is there?

No, Ma, just a lot of punch.

That's nice.

You go and get
washed up for dinner.

Okay, Mom.

Speaking of dinner, baby.
What we got to eat tonight?

Lobster Neuberg.

Huh?

Translation:
cornbread and greens.

Yeah, but we usually have
some meat on Saturday night.

Well, I took one
look at what they had

in the meat market and I passed.

What was wrong with it?

It was okay, if
you like your meat

a deep, golden brown
before it's cooked.

And the vegetables
ain't no better.

The beets are bushed,
the spinach is spent,

and the Brussels don't sprout.

But the prices sure do.

You know something, baby?

The only thing
keeping this country

from going to the dogs?

The price of dog food.

Everything is out of line.

You know, I stopped
in to get you a nice tie,

and I had to go
as high as $ . .

Oh, now Florida, what you
getting me a tie for, baby?

I already got a tie.

That old stringy black
tie you wear to funerals?

Ain't none of them people
they buried complained about it.

Ah, but this is not a
funeral we going to.

It's not an ending.
It's a beginning.

I still can't get over
little Charlie McDaniel.

All grown up and
opening his own law office.

Yeah, doing it in style too.

Giving a party for all
the folks who knew him

since he was a little bitty boy.

That's why I wanted to
get you a good-looking tie.

How you like it?

That's fine, baby. Is that silk?

For $ . ?

That ain't even minimum
wages to a silkworm.

Yeah, this is real
nice, baby, thank you.

Hey, what you
wearing to the thing?

Well, I tried on my
old cocktail dress

and I had to take it
in a little at the waist.

I'm very happy to report

I've gone down
from a quart to a fifth.

What you say?

Well I say you still
one hundred proof

and you still go to my head.

Hey, you ain't exactly
Coolidge yourself.

Michael, stop cheating now.

I'm not cheating, Thelma.

What y'all two doing?

What does it look
like we're doing?

Playing Monopoly.

See, Michael,

and you said he wouldn't
be able to figure it out.

Thelma, you owe me
for landing on Liberia.

Michael, I told you
to call it Park Place.

I made it African.

Brothers don't own
nothing on Park Place.

Well, I feel weird
saying I wanna buy

two hotels for Ghana.

Is something wrong, J.J.?

You haven't opened your
mouth for almost seconds.

Something must be wrong.

Now it's seconds,
and for you that's a record.

Okay, I'll tell you.

I got myself a heavy problem

and I need a lot of
brain power to solve it.

Oh?

So, Thelma, why don't
you leave the room

so we can eliminate
the dead wood.

Now he's back to normal.

J.J., this is my
room and I'm staying.

Anyway, how do
you know I can't help?

Because you'll tell.

Me? I won't tell, I swear.

Oh, J.J., you got my
word. I promise I won't tell.

Okay. I'm a member
of the Satan Knights.

Ooh, I'm gonna tell!

Hold on!

Hey, J.J., I thought
you were too smart

to get mixed up with
something as dumb as gangs.

I didn't choose them,
Michael. They chose me.

One day in school, Neckbone
and Mad Dog cornered me

and explained the benefits

of the Satan Knights health
and accident insurance plan.

They said that if I didn't
join, they had a plan

to insure that I had an
accident to my health.

But you really haven't been
running with them, have you?

No, I mainly been
running from them.

But today they getting
down with the Warlords,

and Mad Dog hisself
is coming personally

to see that I participate.

Boy I wish I could
declare amnesty

before I went to w*r.

Why don't you just say no?

I tried that once

and I almost collected
on my insurance policy.

Hmm. Charlie's
invitation sure is fancy.

It don't even say,
"Bring your own bottle."

Baby, it smells
like dinner is ready.

I'm so hungry I got hunger pains
sh**ting all through my stomach.

All right, when your pains
start coming three minutes apart,

I'll rush you over
to McDonald's.

I don't think I can make it
to the Big Mac delivery room.

Okay, I'll put dinner out.

You know, I still
can't get over Charlie.

A lawyer.

That just goes to prove,
even in this neighborhood,

nothing can keep you
from reaching the top

unless you let it.

That's right, baby.

All these kids going wrong,
it sure gives you a kick

when you see a young brother
making something out of himself.

You got a few good kicks coming

if I know those three
kids we got back there.

Yeah.

Hey, we making such a big
deal about Charlie being a lawyer,

we almost forgot that
Michael's a sure bet

for the Supreme Court.

I sure makes good babies.

The wonder is,
you did it all alone.

That little girl that you
made all by yourself

is pretty special too.

Yeah, that's because
she takes after her mama.

Aww.

You know Thelma's got
a lot of promise, baby.

I bet she could be a
lawyer too if she wanted to.

Well, just imagine that.

The first brother and sister
on the Supreme Court.

Hot damn. What a family.

And don't forget Kid Dy-no-mite.

He's making a special place
for himself with his paintings.

Yeah, I gotta admit though,

I was worried about
Junior there for a while.

Seemed like he had
oatmeal in his head.

Oh, James.

But he got himself
straightened out.

Yes sir. We got us some family.

Them kids didn't have
no easy road, baby.

But they traveling right now.

You're right.

That's because they
had me to guide them.

And I did it all by myself, huh?

Hey, J.J., you can get k*lled
going against the Warlords.

Yeah, I won a fight with
my fist once in a while,

but when it comes
to g*ns, never.

I'll tell you one thing
I like about my body.

It ain't got no holes in it.

Well, too bad you can't say
the same thing about your head.

You know, for once
you're right, little sister.

Them Warlords are mean.

There must be Warlords.

Five hundred.

How many Satan
Knights are there?

One hundred.

According to the
latest J.J. poll,

go into ...

as many times as they want to.

I'm gonna tell Daddy about it.

Now hold on there, girl!

You know, J.J., if Daddy finds
out what's happening, man,

he gonna k*ll you.

Problem number one.

And if Mama finds out
you belong to a g*ng,

oh, J.J., it'll break her heart.

Problem number two.

And if you don't go
to the fight tonight,

Mad Dog and all
the Satan Knights

gonna be out to k*ll you.

Problem number three through .

FLORIDA: Children,
dinner's ready.

And that's problem number .

How to get Mom and
Dad out of the house

before Mad Dog and
the g*ng get here.

Come on, children.

Ooh, that looks good.

What were you all
doing back there so long?

Just rapping.

Oh, that's nice.

J.J., say the blessing.

Thank you, Lord, for the
food we are about to receive.

And may he
continue to receive it

while he's at the
receiving hospital.

What's that supposed
to mean, Thelma?

Dad... Uh, nothing, Dad.

Uh, nothing.

She's just trying to provide
a little entertainment.

And, uh, speaking
of entertainment,

as everyone seems
to be these days,

what are you two lovely
parents doing this p.m.?

It was a choice between
turning on the TV

and watching the fights

or opening the window
and listening to them.

The TV won.

You mean you gonna
watch TV on that old set?

That picture's got
so much snow in it,

Redd Fox comes out white.

Why don't y'all
go to the movies,

see something on
a big widescreen,

stereophonic sound and color.

Junior, you must be
joking. $ . a ticket?

I rate all them movies TD,
for Too Damn Expensive.

Pass the hot sauce.

Come on, Ma and Dad, live it up.

You deserve a
night out. That's right.

There are a lot of
good movies playing.

Blackbell Jones, Blacula,
Black Godfather, Six Black Men.

They all sound like
violent pictures to me.

I don't like v*olence.

But when they
get off the screen,

they're still able
to walk out alive.

There's a comedy out
with James Earl Jones

and Diahann Carrol
called Claudine.

James Earl Jones
is a garbage man,

and she's on welfare.

Julia on welfare?

Ooh, boy. This I got to see.

Honey, we haven't been
to a movie in a long time.

Wanna go?

Well... I'll pop
for the popcorn.

Small size.

Why not? It'll do us
good to get out the house.

It's just kinda nice of you kids

to want to see us
have a good time.

That's all right.
Don't mention it.

I'll wash the
dishes. And I'll dry.

And I'll say the grace.

After the meal?

Yeah, suddenly I feel
the need for a prayer.

[KNOCKING]

That's them.

I'll get it.

Michael, maybe we
shouldn't answer it.

We got to sooner or later.

You think J.J.'s
plan has a chance?

It better.

Or J.J. don't have a chance.

Who you supposed to be?

I'm Michael, J.J.'s brother.

Okay.

You tell your brother
that we're here, dwarf.

Yeah, we're here, dwarf.

J.J.?

Something is here to see you.

Who's the fox?

She's my sister.

Hey, sweet thing, I'm Mad
Dog. What's your name?

Thelma.

Thelma?

Thelma. Thelma.

Where you get a weird
name like Thelma?

When I was born, my
mama took one look at me

and called me Thelma.

Just like your mama
took one look at you

and called you Mad Dog.

Hey, Mad Dog. You want
me to punch her out, man?

Hey, man. You better leave
my sister alone, Boneneck.

It's Neckbone, brother.

Hey, hey. Be cool, man.

We got no time to go
through changes with the fox.

J.J., I'm waiting on you, man!

Hi, fellas.

What's the matter with you, man?

I'm sick, man. Real sick.

Yeah, he's running a fever.

That's right. How
high is it now, J.J.?

I dunno, Thelma, but it says,

"To be continued on
the next thermometer."

Neckbone? Yeah?

Go see what that thing says.

Yeah, Dog.

Hey, man, I wouldn't get
too close. It's catching.

Get out the way, brother.

He got chills and everything.

He's gotta get back in bed.
He can't go anywhere tonight.

Yeah, I'm supposed to
go into emergency surgery

as soon as they find
the right color thread.

. , same as his weight.

Ah!

You playing the nut role.

Yeah, you playing the nut role.

The only sickness
you got is chicken fever.

And if you don't
get well real quick,

me and this . are
gonna make it fatal.

All of a sudden my temperature
just went down degrees.

Right back to normal.

Get yourself together,
blood. We got to move.

We moving?

Moving right along.

This here crib is really sharp.

Yeah, it's really sharp. Yeah.

We'll have to up J.J.'s dues
a couple of bucks a month.

I hear it.

Anybody live this
good can afford it.

Hey, man. Leave our stuff alone.

Our mom and dad
don't like nobody

messing with our stuff.

Your daddy?

You mean your old man
still stays here with y'all?

Sure.

Well, my old man split
right after I was born.

Hmm. I don't blame him.

Come on, man. Let me
drive on this chick, man.

Now, I told you to save it.

We got no time
for preliminaries.

We got a main event with
the Warlords, remember?

You brothers shouldn't be
fighting other brothers anyway.

Ain't you ever
heard of black unity?

Black unity?

Yeah, ain't that a rock group

that play over on
the South Side?

Rock group on the South Side!

Not at all hard to do!

It means black people
ain't going nowhere

until we stop fighting
and learn to work together.

My brother's right.

Every time you fight,
it not only hurts you,

but don't you know it
hurts our whole community?

So what? What do
you mean, so what?

So why don't you just
call this whole thing off?

What you say, brother?

I say I ain't your
brother. That's what I say.

Besides, fighting helps
to make a man out of you.

Ain't that right, Mad Dog?

Damn right.

When is it gonna
start helping you?

You asking for
trouble... [YELLS]

Kung fu karate chop suey.
Let's do it, y'all. Come on.

J.J., have you lost the
little bit of mind you have?

Out of my way, girl!

I'm gonna break
bones, kick some butts!

All right. Now you with it.

I am a Satan Knight. All right!

Right on, J.J. Ha, ha, yeah!

Sure got together
fast there, J.J.

Uh, I'm raring to go.

Don't hold me back.
What's the plan?

Simple. We just sneak in
they territory and start popping.

How you plan on sneaking
dudes in their territory?

Dressed as welfare workers?

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, let's get it on, man.

Uh, don't y'all
wanna hear my plan?

What plan?

Huh. Glad you asked.

Thelma, take notes
of this great plan.

Michael, guard the door

and make sure nobody
hears this great plan.

Here is the first leg of the
greatest plan in the world.

First we sneak
into their territory.

I already said that.

Uh, that's the good part.

See, so we gonna be close to
the Cook County General Hospital

so we won't have to
go so far for treatment.

You trying to stall, J.J.?

No, I just wanna make
sure I lay the plan on y'all.

Now, here is the plan.

Uh... here is the plan.

You already said that.

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, Yeah I just
wanted to make sure

y'all was paying attention.

Uh, Thelma?

Score Mad Dog a
hundred for paying attention.

Spit it out.

Uh, this is the plan
that won World w*r II.

Personally endorsed
by George C. Scott.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Wait, I got something
important to say!

What?

I don't wanna go.

[CLAMORING]

James, we could have
waited a little while longer.

Freeze our butts off
waiting in that line?

We can do that at
home free of charge.

I guess you're right.

But the kids gonna
be so disappointed.

Well...

FLORIDA: J.J.!

Ma, Dad, I thought
y'all went to the movies.

We was, but we changed our mind.

What's going on here?

Well, what you doing
dressed like this?

And Tyrone, Sylvester,
why are you holding him?

Well, like I told you, Mom,
I'm going to this dance,

and these are my escorts.

Well, y'all turn him loose.

Hey, man. Get out of the way.

We got business
with the Warlords.

Boy, I don't give a damn
who you got business with.

My son ain't going
to no gangfight.

What the hell you doing
getting mixed up with a g*ng?

I ain't... J.J.,
you're in a g*ng?

No, Ma. They chose
me. I didn't choose them.

I told y'all now.
Turn him loose.

And I told you to
get on, old man.

Who do you think
you're talking to that way?

I'm Mad Dog, dig it, head of
Satan's Knights w*r Council.

Is that supposed to
be something big?

You heard what I said.

Mad Dog, you don't get your
hand out of my wife's face,

I'm gonna slap a muzzle on you.

Now, Junior ain't
going to no gangfight.

Junior ain't got no choice!

Hey now, watch out!

[J.J. YELLS]

JAMES: Junior! Somebody
call an ambulance.

Call an ambulance!
Please, do something!

Call an ambulance!

J.J., say something, baby.

Somebody's been sh*t.

James, he fainted. Do
something. Call somebody.

Quick, call an ambulance!

Get us some help, please!

WOMAN: Who sh*t him?

[♪♪♪]

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

ANNOUNCER: Good
Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪