06x16 - Hooray for Hollywood: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now the world don't move

♪ To the b*at of just one drum

♪ What might be right for you

♪ May not be right for some

♪ A man is born

♪ He's a man of means

♪ Then along come two

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans

♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story

♪ Everybody finds a way to shine

♪ It don't matter
that you got not a lot

♪ So what

♪ They'll have theirs
and you'll have yours

♪ And I'll have mine

♪ And together we'll be fine

♪ 'Cuz it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

♪ Yes it does

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

- So what movie do
you want to see tonight?

- I've seen a lot of
straight movies lately,

tonight I'm in the
mood for gory.

- You usually are.

Oh here's a hard triple header.

Dawn of the Dead,
The Restless Dead,

and Where There's
Life There's Dead.

- Hey that's great!

There oughta be at least
a dozen decapitations.

- Arnold you're drooling.

- I love it when the heads
roll around on the floor

with the tongues flapping
and the eyes bugging out.

- Arnold, you a gormy of gore.

- Let's go guys.

- We're ready.

- We've already picked out
a movie we're gonna see.

- So, we're going to see
Terms of Endearment.

- What for?

That's a movie about
old fogies with pot-bellies.

- Hey how come
you're still here?

- Ah we're going
dad, don't worry it.

We won't be in the way of
your big evening with Maggie.

- Oh it's not that.

I just want you to b*at the
rush to the popcorn stand.

- Oh Mr. Drummond,
I've got the table set

and the food's all cooked.

All you have to do is
pop it into the microwave.

- Oh for how long?

- Well that depends what
you got cooking with Maggie.

Really about eight minutes.

You sure you don't want
me to stay and serve.

- No, no thanks.

- Pearl, he wants a
romantic candlelight dinner

alone with his lady.

- Why do you think he
bribed us to go see a movie?

- Yeah, so he can whisper
sweet nothings in her ear,

while she whispers sweet
nothing-doings in his.

- Wrong Arnold,
we're going to watch

Lawrence Welk together,
he said with a straight face.

- You know Mr. Drummond
I really wouldn't mind

if you want to tell Maggie

that you made
the dinner yourself.

I mean, it won't hurt me, and
it might do you some good.

- Thanks Pearl, but
it wouldn't be nice

for me to take credit for
your wonderful cooking.

Ha, you haven't tasted it yet.

- I better put this
champagne on ice.

Have a good time kids.

- You too.

Don't know anything
I wouldn't do tiger.

- Kimberly, there's a wonderful

Clint Eastwood movie playing.

I wouldn't mind having a
sudden impact with him.

- Ah, well Pearl, I
really had my heart set

on seeing Terms of Endearment.

- Oh that's okay, I
like Jack Nicholson too,

and what Clint doesn't
know won't hurt him.

- We're waiting ladies.

- Oh.

- This was a
wonderful dinner Phillip.

Did you cook it yourself?

- I can not tell a lie, yes.

- I admire a man that can cook.

Most men can barely
heat up a dinner

that a housekeeper
left for them.

Yes, well, um.

When you've been
single as long as I have,

and you have as
many kids as I have,

you get handy
at a lot of things.

- All that activity sure
has kept you fit as a fiddle.

- Oh, I love my kids.

I wouldn't trade those
years for anything.

But I'm glad that the
hard part's behind me now.

I don't know whether
I could do it again.

- I know, you said it before.

- I got an idea, why don't
we move over to the sofa,

where there's a little more
room to operate, hmm?

And there's nobody
I'd rather operate on.

- Let's try that again.

Will you lean into it a little?

- I guess I have something
on my mind Phillip.

Will you sit down?

- Oh oh, sitting
down's always serious.

Is it something I said?

- Is it something I cooked?

Was it too much
flam in my flambeau?

Hey, I think this is serious.

- I know that we haven't
been seeing each other

for a very long time,

but I do think it's been
long enough to tell that

we're just different
kinds of people.

We have different needs.

- Yeah, I think that your
needs and my needs,

need each other.

- Well we do have
a lot of fun together,

but there's just
something missing.

- Oh, give it some time,
we'll find out what's missing.

I'll send out a St. Bernard
with a keg of brandy.

- Phillip, you're
not listening to me.

I'm saying that I believe

that it's better
if we end it now,

than to let it drag on.

- End it?

- It'll just be harder
to break it off later.

- It's not so easy now.

I feel as if I've just been
kicked in the stomach.

- Listen, I have to
go to Hollywood,

the first thing tomorrow morning
on some personal business,

so, maybe this is a good
time to let things rest.

- I don't get it.

What is going on?

- Oh now, it's not as if
we'll never see each other.

We're still gonna be partners
in the exercise business.

- Hey, well that's
very reassuring.

- I'm sorry to spoil you're
lovely dinner Phillip,

but I wanted to
be honest with you.

- Well then, I guess I
better be honest with you.

Pearl cooked the dinner.

I know.

- It's safe, they're not here.

Thought they'd be
tangled up on the couch

like a couple a
boa constrictors.

- Dad, we're home
wherever you are.

- Oh hi there.

- Oh hi Mr. Drummond.
- Hi.

- Hi Daddy, where's Maggie?

- You got her in the
kitchen doing dishes?

- No, uh, actually,
she went home.

- Well, I guess I better go
inspect the disaster area.

- Why'd she leave so early?
- Yeah dad.

Didn't you tell her
you could stay up,

you already had your nap today?

- I'm afraid, she may
be gone for good.

- What are you saying?

What happened?

- I don't know myself.

Apparently, she's unhappy
with our relationship,

I haven't got the
foggiest idea why.

- Why didn't you ask her?

- I didn't have a chance,
I couldn't get my breath.

- She dumped you?

How do you like that?

Willis, don't just stand
there, tell him what to do.

- How would I know what to do,

I've never been dumped before.

- Well didn't you tell her
how you feel about her?

- Well, not in so
many words, no,

but she knows that
I'm crazy about her.

- What does she want
out of the relationship?

- I don't know.

- Dad, you're better
off without her,

she has no right to
treat you that way.

She keeps turning you
on and off like a faucet.

Look at you, you're
down to you're last drip.

- All I know, is I don't
want to be without her.

- I don't blame you,
she's a terrific lady.

Now how could you let her leave

without straightening it out.

- Kimberly, you can't just
grab a woman by the arm

and throw her on the sofa
to keep her from leaving.

Well why not?

- Daddy, in my life,
I've never known you

to give up this easily.

If Maggie means that
much to you, go after her.

Find out what's wrong,
make her listen to you.

- Yeah, grab her by the arm,

throw her in the
sofa and sit on her.

- Well, she's in no
mood to talk to me now.

She'll be leaving town
early in the morning.

- Then go after her.

- Go after her?

You know something,
you're right.

I have the feeling there's
something she didn't tell me.

By George, I am
going to go after her!

- Oh, alright daddy.

That's the spirit dad.

- I'll go to Hollywood
over the weekend.

- Hollywood?

Is that where she's going?

- That's it Daddy, follow
her across the country,

that really impresses a lady.

- I wouldn't follow that
woman across the street.

- I've got an idea,

how would you all like to
come to Hollywood with me?

- I'll go pack.

But I'm only going to make sure

you don't make
a fool of yourself.

- I'll feel a lot better

knowing you're
keeping an eye on me.

Okay, we're all set g*ng.

I'm going to win her back
or find out the reason why.

- And if that doesn't work,

Hollywood's full
of beautiful women.

I saw in the Enquirer that
Joan Collins is between men.

- I'm gonna do the next
best thing to computer dating.

Alright, let's all turn in.

I'll call tonight
for reservations,

and I'll find out
tomorrow morning

where Maggie's
gonna stay up there.

Alright.

- Oh man, this is gonna be fun.

Oh, no!
- What's the matter?

- I forgot, Dudley's parents
are going away this weekend,

and I promised he
could stay with me.

- No problem, we'll
take Dudley with us.

I'll call his father.

- Ah, thanks Dad, you're
really a big spender.

Joan Collins would like that.

- Hello Hollywood,
here's Arnold.

- Oooh.

- Oh, mercy!

- Check this out,
this place is tough.

- This is bigger
than our penthouse.

- Thank you very much, please
send up the other bags later.

- Hey Dad, let's get unpacked.

I wanna go on the
Universal Studios Tour.

- Yeah, we wanna
meet Knight Rider

and talk to that car of his.

- Yeah, I heard his Trans
Am was having an affair

with a cute little Toyota.

- Yeah, they were seen
together at the same carwash.

- Well I'd like to
go into Beverly Hills

and see Rodeo Drive.

It's supposed to be

the most expensive
shopping place in the world.

- Yeah, and we want to
spend some of your money Dad,

so how 'bout giving
us your credit cards?

- Look, I'm in love but it
hasn't made me that crazy.

Listen g*ng, supposing we
all meet back here at 5 o'clock.

- Mm hmm.
- Okay.

- I know Maggie's in
this hotel someplace,

but I just have
to find out where.

- Come on.

- Problem is, what
do I say to her?

What if she won't listen to me?

- Don't give up.

- What if she laughs in my face?

- Don't give up.

- What if she tells
me to get lost?

- Give up.

Excuse me madame.

- Yes?

Lunch is served.

- I didn't order lunch.

I went through a lot of trouble.

Eat it.
- I beg your...

- Would you believe I pushed
this all the way from New York?

- Phillip, what on Earth
are you doing here?

- Just trying to make a
few bucks on my day off.

Look, I've been doing a
lot of thinking about us,

and I've decided you
can't get rid of me.

I love you, and I can prove it,

look what I brought
you for lunch.

- What do you mean?

What's that?
- Just a health salad.

- Oh Phillip, a health salad.

- Just a few carats.

Phillip, I don't
know what to say.

- Well, how about yes.

Look I can't stand
it without you.

If you want to know where
this relationship is going,

let's get married first
and worry about it later.

- You sure know how
to throw a lady for a loop.

- Good, let's find a minister
while you're still dizzy.

- Excuse me ma'am, this package
just came for Sam McKinney.

- Oh, thank you, just
put it in our room please.

- Certainly ma'am.

- Our room?

Does that mean you're
staying here with someone?

- As a matter of fact, I am.

- You are.

You've gone back
to your ex-husband.

- Now let's be adult
about this Phillip.

Would you like to meet Sam?

- No.

- I think you should.

I think I should've told
you about this before now.

Sam.

Sam.

- Uh, look, this isn't necessary,
I just assume too much.

I, can see now that it was
a mistake to come out here.

And you won't be
needing this now.

I'm sure Sam can give you one.

- No, Sam can't afford it.

He isn't working.

- Mamma, what do you want?

- I want you to meet
Mr. Phillip Drummond,

who is a very good
friend of your Mamma's.

Phillip, this is Sam.

- Hi.

- Hi, Sam.

♪ Hooray for Hollywood

♪ That screwy
ballyhooey Hollywood

♪ Where any office
boy or young mechanic

♪ Can be a panic

♪ With just a good looking pan

♪ And any shop
girl can be a top girl

♪ If she pleases
the tired Businessman

♪ Hooray for Hollywood

♪ You may be homely
in your neighborhood

♪ To be an actor see Mr. Factor

♪ He'll make your
kisser look good

♪ Go out and try your luck

♪ You might be Donald Duck

♪ Hooray for Hollywood

- We'll make a short stop here

to show you how special
effects are done in the movies.

- Miss?

- Yes?

- Um, when do we
get to see Knight Rider,

I want to talk to his car KITT.

- Oh, I'm afraid we won't
be seeing Knight Rider,

they're sh**ting way over
on the other side of the lot.

And besides they
don't allow tours in

while they're sh**ting.

- Ah gee.

- Oh but, there's a lot of
other wonderful things to see,

like Jaws, and the Psycho
House, and the Strolling Monsters.

- What a bummer, I bet
all the kids back home

that I could get Knight
Rider's autograph and picture.

Well how much did you bet?

- $5000

- 5000, are you crazy!

- What's even worse,

I told 'em that you were
gonna take half the bet.

- Oh, boy, there's
go my lunch money

for the rest of my life.

- Maybe not.

I've got an idea.

What do say we
bail out of this tour,

and find Knight Rider
and get his autograph

and picture on our own?

- But the tour guide
said, to stick together.

- But she also said that
this is special effects.

You and I are gonna disappear.

Come on.

- Well it's been nice talking
to you Mr. Drummond.

Can I go back to
the pool now Mom?

- Sure hun.

- I like you, you didn't mess
up my hair when you said hello

like everybody else does.

- Why didn't you tell
me about Sam before?

- It didn't seem to
be much point in it,

from what I could tell, you
weren't serious about me,

and also, you happen to
mention that you were glad

you didn't have to go
through raising another child.

- Is that why you
left me that night?

- Yes.

You better do some more
thinking about marrying me Phillip.

You've got a lot
more to consider now.

- Do you have any
idea where we are?

- No, but I think we're
making good time.

- Yeah, ow!

Wait a minute, I have
a rock in my shoe.

- Okay.

Will you hurry up
and put your shoe on,

my eyes are watering.

- Oh, come on, I take
a shower everyday,

and I take my feet in with me.

- Well next time you better try

taking your socks
in with you too.

- Come on!

Look, the trains coming,
we gotta get outta here.

Ah I can't.

My foot's stuck.
- Well unstuck your foot.

I can't! Come on!

- Oh no!

- We gotta get outta
here, it's too late.

Kiss your little
caboose good-bye.

- It's a fake.

- I knew it all the time.

Stop worrying Dudley,

I betcha Knight
Rider's just over that hill.

- Hey, look at that
fisherman over there.

Do you think they're
really fish in that water.

- Nah, no way, no fish
could live in that dirty water.

Come on.

- Come on! Come on, run!

- Arnold, were lost.

- Lost, are you kidding?

I have a great
sense of direction.

Wasn't I in the Boy Scouts?

Have I ever led
you astray before?

- In other words, we're lost.

- I'm afraid so.

Hey, look at that house.

Maybe somebody lives
there like a caretaker.

Maybe he knows where to
find Knight Rider, come on.

- Boy, sure looks
spooky up there.

Maybe we shouldn't go.

- Ah, come on, what
is there to be afraid of.

- Yeah, just remember,

you're the guy who said
there's no fish in the lake.

- Yes.

Ah, hi there.

I hope we weren't bothering you.

- No bother, I was just
recharging my neck.

- Well, we were just wondering,

if you could tell us how
to find Knight Rider?

- No, but perhaps, my
brother-in-law knows.

Could we speak to him.

- Certainly, he's
right behind you.

- Excuse me mister,

is this where they're
sh**ting Knight Rider?

- That's right kid.

Hey what are you doing here?

- Oh, we want to
see Knight Rider.

- Oh, sorry, it's a closed set.

Okay, b*at it,
come on, that's it.

- It's him!

- How ya doing Harry?

- Good morning David.

- No one says good
morning to me?

What am I chopped liver?

- Very sensitive.

- Good morning KITT.

- Knight Rider set.

Ooh, I'd say in
about three hours.

Hey! I'll call you right back.

- Okay, now, special effects.

Let's go ahead and
put the expl*sives

under the Sheriff's car.

- Do you think they'll find us?

- No way, we should
be safe in here.

- That's it, you all set David?

- Ready Les.
- Good.

Okay everybody,
here's the scene.

Now the smugglers come
out of that building over there

with a suitcase full of
dr*gs and get in their car.

The Sheriff gets out after
them and gets in his car,

while the Knight
Rider drives in.

Now I keep rolling,

while we replace the
Sheriff with a dummy,

and we blow up the car.

The Knight Rider sees this,

and takes off after the crooks.

- Got all that KITT?

- I'm way ahead of you.

- Watch out, nobody
likes a smart Trans Am.

- Alright people, places.

Let's get this in one take.

Ted, the minute Knight
Rider gets out of KITT,

I'll cue you to blow up
the Sheriff's car, alright?

- Hey, there's Knight Rider!

Yeah!

Uh oh, there's that guard too.

I can't wait to
meet Knight Rider,

this is gonna be a blast.

- Okay, let's roll
'em, and remember,

when Knight Rider
steps out of his car,

I cue the big expl*si*n.

- You hear that?

An expl*si*n and
we're gonna miss it.

- And action.

Okay, keep rolling.

Get the Sheriff out
and put the dummy in.

- Alright Knight Rider,
get out of your car.

Stand by to blow it up.

♪ Now the world don't move

♪ To the b*at of just one drum

♪ What might be right for you

♪ May not be right for some

♪ A man is born

♪ He's a man of means

♪ Then along come two

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans

♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

♪ Yes it does

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world