08x13 - The Greek Connection

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin',
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪
♪ all about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

Well, I don't think
liberace is losing any sleep.

I've been practicing
4 hours a day.

At the piano?

I knew I was
forgetting something.

Come on, blair. Let's move it.

I don't want to be late.

I feel like a refugee
from the roller derby.

Now, that's what I like...

A girl who's well padded.

I'm protecting a
valuable commodity.

Me.

What are you protecting
yourself from?

Jo talked me into
taking field hockey.

Isn't there some other way

I could fulfill my
phys ed requirement?

Sure. But somehow, I
don't see you pole vaulting.

Ok, I've got it.

How do you like this
idea for an article?

Illicit sex in peekskill.

Where?

I don't know, but I
won't rest until I find it.

Natalie, I know
the peekskill press

Has given you an assignment,

But are you sure

That's what they want
you to write about?

It doesn't matter. That
headline will fit anything.

If that doesn't work, I got
another headline for you,

"Blair warner exercises,
national holiday declared."

Come on, mad dog, let's go.

I have a really good
feeling about today.

I'm gonna go meet
with the editor,

Get my assignment,

And then tootie's taking me

Out to dinner to celebrate,

And then matt dillon's

Gonna walk into the restaurant

And fall madly in love with me.

Well, if paul newman
walks in with matt,

Tell him I'm only a
phone call away.

Oh, tootie, that
is just fabulous.

Oh, kristen, that's beverly
ann, andy, and natalie.

Guys, this... This
is kristen morgan.

I've got terrific news.

I'm rushing a sorority.

A sorority? Which one?

Gamma gamma mu.

Kristen's a gamma, and
she asked me to rush.

We think tootie would be a
great addition to the gamma house.

I didn't know you had any
interest in sorority life.

Well, I never gave
it any thought

Until kristen told
me how great it was.

And not only that,
but some of the gammas

Are theater majors,

So I'll be right at home.

Oh, tootie. I'm so
excited for you. Oh.

When I was in college,

There were 3
terrific sororities.

They were all after me.

Of course, I was the only
girl on campus with a car.

Tootie, if you join the gammas,

Does that mean you'll move
into the sorority house?

Well, I haven't
given it any thought,

But not necessarily.

Kristen?

If tootie's not gonna
live in the sorority house,

Can I take her place?
I play the piano.

Not yet you don't.

Come on. Let's go buy
you some new sheet music.

Why do I get the feeling you're
trying to get me out of here?

'Cause you're
perceptive, that's why.

Well, why don't we
all sit down, huh?

Now, this is just fabulous.

I have been waiting
for the two of you

To get to know
each other better.

So, natalie.

Uh, tootie tells me you
decided not to go to college.

Yes. I wanted to devote
all my time to writing,

You know, experience life.

Natalie has scaled, smelt,
laid tar, driven a hearse,

And now she's folding
tacos at señor sombreros.

She's done it all.

Yeah. I'm sort of a renaissance
woman of the minimum wage.

How do you find
the time to write?

I manage.

Actually, I'm doing an article
for the peekskill press.

I have a meeting with
the editor this afternoon.

Peekskill press? Fabulous.

Oh, tootie. Dating bulletin.

Mark called me last
night, and guess what?

His friend dave is
interested in you.

Dave chadwick? Girl, he's
the finest guy on campus.

Maybe he'll ask you out.
We could double date.

Oh, that would be great!
Or maybe we could triple,

And natalie and snake
could come along.

You go out with a
guy named snake?

What's his real name?

Snake.

Oh. Snake. That reminds me,

I bought the
greatest pair of shoes

For tonight's rush party.

Did you?

Oh, gosh. Wait
till you see them.

Tonight?

You're going to a
rush party tonight?

Oh, natalie. I forgot.

I'm supposed to take you
out to celebrate tonight.

Oh, tootie. This rush
party is very important.

I'm sure natalie
will understand.

Uh, do you think we could
celebrate another night?

Yeah. It's no big deal.

Um, I'd better get going.

I don't want to be late

For my meeting with the editor.

I only have 2 hours.

Nice to meet you, kristen.

Likewise, I'm sure.

Uh, nat? Good luck.

Oh, tootie. Let's go
look at your jewelry box

And pick out some accessories.

Do you have anything real?

Well, my parents gave me
some pearls for graduation.

Double or single strand? Single.

Long or short? Short.

Cultured or uncultured?

Ok, beverly ann. How do I look?

Smashing.

Thank you. Kristen says

The gammas notice everything
at these rush parties.

They rate your hair,
your nails, your nose...

Don't worry, tootie. Your nose
is miles ahead of everyone else's.

All right. Take it
easy, blair. Be careful.

Blair!

Oh, no. What happened?

We won.

What happened was

Jo hit me in the
ankle with her stick.

I'm sorry. It was an accident.

This is a recorded message.

Oh, you poor thing.

I know.

Oh, she'll be fine.
Nothing's broken.

The doctor says she's
just got to keep it elevated.

I want a second opinion.

All right. You're also clumsy.

I know what will
help. A cold compress.

Thanks. Sure would be nice

If I had my very own
pillow from upstairs.

Oh, I'll get it, blair.

No, no, no, tootie.

Not your fault I'm sitting here

In excruciating, throbbing pain.

I'll get your pillow.

Oh, and maybe my robe?

Fine.

You know, the pink one

That goes so nicely
with black and blue?

Fine.

Oh, and maybe you
could get... Fine.

Here's your compress.

That's frozen cauliflower.

We're out of ice.

Would you prefer lima beans?

Guys, guess what the editor
wants me to write about.

My foot!

Blair, the whole world
does not revolve around you.

He wants me to
do the inside story

On rush week at langley.

Oh, fabulous!

Oh, that's kristen. Gotta run.

Well, can I just
ask you one thing?

Well, I really don't want
to keep kristen waiting.

We'll talk later. Bye.
Cross your fingers for me.

I can't believe it. I
just got the brush-off.

Oh, tootie was just in a hurry.

She's nervous
about the rush party.

Well, I wanted her to
take some notes for me.

You know, be my inside source.

Natalie, you'll write
a wonderful article,

And if you can't come
up with the facts,

Do what they do in
washington... Make it up.

It isn't fiction. It's
factual reporting.

Maybe I'll just start
off at the library.

Hey, be careful.

What can happen at the library?

By the way, do you know you
have cauliflower on your foot?

Girls: 1 and-a 2, and-a 1-2-3.

We're gamma gamma
mu. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

We're the hottest
treats and we like to flirt.

We take all the boys
and we treat 'em like dirt.

We're gamma gamma
mu. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Oh, that was just
our silly cheer.

They seem like a lot of fun.

Oh, tootie. I just know the
gamma house is the place for you.

You know, I'm really flattered

That you all would
even consider me.

Oh, I love your modesty.

It's gonna be so much
fun changing that.

Oh, come on. Let's
work the room.

Everyone? This is tootie,

The rushee I told
you about. Remember?

Oh, of course.

You know, you were really
wonderful in that play,

Make mine macaroni.

Hi, I'm becky. Welcome
to the gamma house.

We boast a membership of
over 7,500 women world-wide.

Our motto is
"sisterhood makes us one,

Gamma makes us
great. Ooh, ooh, ooh."

How do you do that
without taking a breath?

Practice. So what's your name?

Natasha.

How poetic.

Now, here you go,
natasha, and remember,

Gamma gamma mu
wants you, you, you.

Hi. I'm debbie. I'm rushing.

I'm natasha. I'm lithuanian.

Debbie, what makes you
want to join this sorority?

Well, I like the
spirit of sisterhood

And the community
service they perform.

Really? Like what?

Well, each month, the gammas
go to the children's hospital

To cheer up all the kids.

That's nice.

Yeah. Then they grab
the best-looking interns,

And they party their brains out.

I see courtney williams
is here. Real puppy chow.

Oh, we can't blackball
her. She's a legacy.

What about marilyn banks?

Please. N-o-t-d.

Uh, debbie, what's n-o-t-d?

Not our type, dear.

Sweet. What about a legacy?

Oh, well, that's a girl
they have to accept

Because her mother was
a sorority member. Like me.

What are you writing?

Uh, my grocery list.

I... I keep forgetting to
get broccoli. Excuse me.

Oh, excuse me.
I'm sorry. Natalie?

Shh. Don't blow my cover.

Cover? What are you doing here?

I'm getting the behind-the-scenes
dirt on rush week for my article.

Why didn't you ask me?

I would have told
you what goes on here.

I tried to talk to you,

But you didn't have time for me.

Oh, tootie. I've been
looking for you.

Hmm, you look familiar. Natasha.

You're natalie, aren't you?

The one who dates the reptile.

And what are you doing
with that note pad?

"Blackball. Gamma
legacy. N-o-t-d. Broccoli."

It's that article she's writing.

Tootie, your roommate's doing
a hatchet job on sororities.

This could be very embarrassing.

Oh, kristen, let
me just talk to her.

I think I can straighten
the whole thing out.

Let's hope so.

Natalie, this little
stunt of yours

Could really hurt my chances

Of pledging this sorority.

Being accepted here
is very important to me.

I realize that, but this
is my first assignment,

And I want to do
the best job I can.

And you don't care
that it's at my expense?

I can't believe you
really want to be

One of these ooh,
ooh, ooh, girls.

There's more to them
than ooh, ooh, ooh.

Natalie, being
part of a sorority

Is part of the
college experience,

And I want to experience it.

It gives me a feeling

Of belonging and sharing.

I thought that's
what we had at home.

We do, but that doesn't
give you the right

To sneak in here and
jeopardize something that I want.

You want it? You got it.

Natalie, wait a minute.

Tootie, dear. Come on.

We're starting the
candle-lighting ceremony.

You really shouldn't miss it.

Girls: ♪ sisterhood
will always be ♪

♪ A bond for all eternity ♪

♪ Oh, dear old gamma gamma mu ♪

Look, jo. I really
appreciate this.

No problem. I was coming
down the stairs anyway,

And what's one extra person?

I'm telling you, jo.
It's driving me crazy.

Ankles take time.

Not that. Natalie and tootie.

It's impossible to live
here with the two of them

Constantly at each
other's throats

All the time.

Maybe you should
move out for a while.

We've got to find a
way to settle this.

Look. I say this is
between the two of them

And we should stay out of it.

Fine. Be that way.

Oh, all she ever
talks about is kristen,

And all she ever brings up is
sisterhood and ooh, ooh, ooh.

Now, nat, when you
hear these voices,

Are they friendly?

Jo, every time I get
going on my paper,

Tootie does something
else to distract me.

Do you guys mind
if I work down here?

Anything to keep the peace.

Oh, I'm on the home stretch now.

Blair, do you mind
proofreading it when I'm done?

Sure.

Blair, kristen's picking
me up in half an hour

And I can't find my pearl
earrings anywhere.

Can I borrow yours?

Of course.

Thanks.

Oh, sure. Take her side.

Loaning her my
earrings isn't taking sides

Any more than
proofing your article is.

You're proofreading her article?

All right. I can't
stand it any longer.

You two have got
to talk this thing out.

Blair, this is none
of your business.

I'd be willing to talk it out

Except for one thing.

I'm not speaking to her.

Come on, natalie. If
you would just... Blair.

Blair, forget it, all
right? It doesn't matter.

Of course it matters.

I do not heal well in an
atmosphere of tension.

If this keeps up, I won't be
able to walk for a month.

That's it. We've got to
settle this, and I mean now.

Take it, jo.

Let me explain something.

What you guys are
having is a disagreement.

Thank you. We knew
there was a word for it.

The point is,

Tootie has a sorority
she wants to join,

Nat has an article
she wants to write,

So who's wrong here?

She is. She is.

And who's right?

I am. I am.

Exactly. You're both right,

And you're both wrong.

So what are you gonna do?

Stand here for the
rest of your lives

Saying, "did not. Did too.

Did not. Did too"?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Look. Sometimes, friends
disagree. Take jo and me.

She thinks her wardrobe

Is perfectly acceptable.

I think it's a public eyesore.

Public eyesore?

We have agreed to disagree

And go on with our lives.

You think maybe you
two could try that, too?

I'll help you look
for your earrings.

Thanks. Hey, I'll proofread
your article if you want.

That's okay.
Blair's gonna do it,

But you need to get ready.

I think we handled that

Rather well, don't you?

Public eyesore?

I suppose this
would be a bad time

To ask for a glass of juice?

This would be a bad
time to ask for cpr.

Bravo, andy. That was
absolutely much better.

Wasn't that good, blair?

Blair, wasn't andy wonderful?

No, thank you. I'm fine.

Well, andy, I think that
deserves a reward.

Good. I'll take a date
with a gamma girl.

I was thinking of a gold star.

Well, it depends on
how I do on the date.

N-o-t-d. Are they
still using that?

I'm proofreading. Can
somebody get that?

Jo: I'll get it!

Oh, jo. You didn't have to come

All the way down the
stairs to open that.

I could have
crawled to the door.

We'll try that next time.

Hi. Is tootie ready?

Yeah. I'll go get her.

That is, unless
you're just dying

To crawl up the stairs.

Oh, hi, blair.

How's your ankle doing?

I'm fine, as long
as jo holds up.

Kristen, could
you do me a favor?

Could you fluff my
pillows a little for me?

Oh, sure.

Thank you. Thanks.

So, tonight's the final party

Before you pledge
the new gammas, isn't it?

Uh-huh. If I have my way,
tootie should be a shoo-in.

Oh, good. I know becoming
a gamma means a lot to her.

Yeah, it means a lot to me, too.

There!

Thanks.

Hi.

Oh, hey. You look
great. Let's go.

Oh, kristen. I didn't have
any luck with natalie.

Aw, no problem. Let's go.

Uh, whose car should
we take? Yours or mine?

It doesn't matter. Let's go.

Ok, we're going now. Bye.

Good luck.

Hey, did you finish
proofing my article?

Yeah, and it's fine.
It's right here.

Right where?

That's strange.

I just laid it right here
before kristen came in.

Kristen was here?

Yeah. She and tootie just left.

They took it. I
don't believe it.

Oh, come on, natalie. They
wouldn't do something like that.

You're right, and they won't
make another rocky movie.

No, they took it, and
I'm gonna go get it back.

Hi, I'm becky. Are you
one of our p-p-p-ps?

What?

Positively preferred
pledge possibility.

No. I'm a positively peeved,
perturbed pickle. Excuse me.

Natalie.

Oh, what a pleasant surprise.

Can it, kristen.

I like the way you
agreed to disagree.

What are you talking about?

Oh, sure. Set me up,

Lull me into a false
sense of security,

And then swipe my article.

Your article? Nat,
I never touched it.

Well, it's missing, and if you
didn't take it, then kristen did.

Oh, she can't be serious.

Oh, come on. You were there,

You had the chance,
and you took it.

Uh, natalie, if kristen
says she didn't take it,

Then that's good enough for me.

If kristen said fish had lips,

You'd be dating a
salmon right now.

Now you've gone too far, nat.

I haven't gone far enough.

I'd like to take that
sorority pin of hers

And stick it where the
gammas don't pledge.

Natalie!

Kristen, just give me back
my article, and I will leave.

Maybe you'd just
better leave, period.

Tootie, are you gonna
let her get away with this?

Natalie, you've got her
wrong. Kristen's a friend.

I remember when I was, too.

Uh, I'm... I'm really
sorry, kristen.

Hey, nothing to be sorry about.

Interested in a
little light reading?

This is her article.

I can't believe you did this.

Oh, hey, don't thank me.
What are gammas for?

Well, I never thought they
were for something like this.

Hey, I did it for you.

I know natalie's your friend,

But you and I are
going to be sisters.

It's time you learned
which is more important.

You're right.

Good-bye.

I found some more of your notes.

Maybe these will help.

Oh, good. Blair, keep reading.

I'm sorry, natalie. I
cannot make this out.

Here. Let me try.

Frank had the worst handwriting.

He left me a note saying
our marriage was over,

And I fed the dog.

Natalie, I need to talk to you.

Fabulous. I'm just a
little busy right now.

Maybe I can help.

I thought you said
you didn't take it.

I didn't. I didn't know
anything about it.

Kristen took it.

Nat, how could you even think

That I'd do something
like that to you?

Well, you were so caught up

With your new sorority friends,

I figured you'd do
anything to impress them.

Well, you figured wrong.

You were just jealous because
I had new people in my life.

Harriet.

Is there someone in the room

Other than those who
seem obvious to us?

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

No, I was just thinking

Of my old girlhood
friend harriet.

Oh. What about her?

Oh, nothing.

Harriet and I were best friends

Just like the two of you.

I went away to college
and joined a sorority.

She took a job straight
out of high school.

Let me guess. Even though
you moved in different worlds,

You remained best friends,
and lived happily ever after.

We never saw each other again.

I still miss her very much.

I'm sorry I accused you.

I didn't mean to leave you out.

I guess we have to make
room in our friendship

For all the things that
are important to us.

Even if I still want to join
a sorority? 'Cause I may.

I think we can survive that.

I think so, too.

I think I'm going
into sugar shock.

Well, good night. I'm gonna
go drop off my article now.

Hey, I'll take you. I still owe
you a celebration dinner.

Beverly ann, that
little story of yours

Seemed awfully convenient.

Was there really a harriet?

What do you think?

Alone at last.

Blair?

Hallelujah! I'm healed!

It's a miracle! I can walk!