07x13 - The Wrecker's Ball

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

(no voice)

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪



Everyone?

Guess what...
I have a new passion.

I want you to see the poster
I'm going to hang in my room.

Oh, teen idols
sure have changed.

Isn't it amazing?

It's the human body.

Thank God for skin.

What is this for, honey?

Oh, I'm taking an evening course
in Shiatsu massage at school.

Yeah, it's a special
this week at Grant.

If you take Shiatsu,

you can drop history,
English and math.

What's Shiatsu?

Shiatsu is a process
of pressing certain nerve points

and releasing tension,
thus allowing bodily energies

to flow freely.

Just don't get them
all over the floor.

You see, the human body
is divided up into meridians,

which correspond with each organ
and muscle group.

For instance, the foot alone
contains the pressure points

that affect every one
of the major organs.

STEVEN:
Hmm.

Let me see that.

Oh, darn.

Think I just stubbed my kidney.

It's amazing how it works.

- Here, let me show you, Alex.
- Oh, I can see it now.

"Alex Keaton k*lled
by Vulcan nerve pinch."

(groans)

Oh, no, this can't be.

What is it, Mom?

Well, it says here
that on the corner

of Oak and Clinton,
they're considering

building another mini-mall.

What? When?

God, look at that... she's got
escalators in her eyes.

Oak and Clinton?

Isn't that where
your Cavanaugh Building is?

Yes, it is. Now it says
they're gonna tear it down

and put up another one
of those obnoxious mini-malls.

- (stomps foot)
- Mother.

Oh, please, Mallory.

The last thing
that neighborhood needs

is another bunch
of silly stores.

There are no silly stores.

There are only silly shoppers.

Look, Mallory, I have nothing
against malls per se.

It's just... the Cavanaugh
Building is very special to me.

It's the first building
I ever designed.

And, boy, well, you never forget
your first building.

Are they gonna tear it down?

Well, it sure seems like it.

Well, look
at the bright side, Mom.

At least it didn't
fall down on its own.

Look, Alex, I don't expect you
to understand

my feelings about this.

But this is not just a building.

This is part
of our family history.

Gosh, you-you were
only two years old.

Mallory was just born.

It was a very special time.

Elyse...

to everything...
turn, turn, turn...

there is a season.

Turn, turn, turn.

- And a time to every...
- Oh, shut up.

The whole point of Shiatsu
is to help you relax

so you can realize
your fullest potential.

(grunts)

Okay,

now we're gonna work
on your spinal meridian,

and align
your cervical vertebrae.

(exhales)

(pop)

The square root of ,

equals . .

I can't believe
that came out of him.

I can't believe he had it in him
in the first place.

Doesn't that feel great, Nick?

You see, I cleared
a path for energy

to flow right to your brain.

That must've been quite some
blockage there, too.

Alex, look at you...
you're a ball of tension.

- Hey...
- Here, let me work on you.

Get away from me, okay?

I know the square root of , .

Look at your posture.

Alex, don't hunch.

- Lower your shoulders.
- Ah... (scoffs)

No, lower.

Alex, lower.

Ma...

Mal, if they were any lower,
I could use them as hips.

Alex, you need an adjustment.

So do you, Mal.

Only yours would require a few
thousand volts of electricity.

Alex, come on,
I'm getting better at this.

- Just let me do it.
- All right.

Okay, okay, okay...
just to humor you.

Go ahead, Subaru me.

Shiatsu.

God bless you.

All right, okay.

Okay... (yells)

What the hell was that?

See?
Don't you feel more relaxed?

Mal, I...

I...

I can't straighten up, Mal.

- Oops.
- Oops?

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
come here, Alex.

I'll fix you up, huh?

No, no, no, no.

No, I'll straighten
myself up, okay?

(grunting)

(yells)

There, I feel fabulous.

I'm fine.

Who's next?

No, thank you, Mal.
I had Shiatsu for lunch.

- STEVEN: Hi, guys.
- MALLORY: Hey,

Dad, how about you?

How about a little Shiatsu?

Um...

Well, Mal, I, um...

Oh, come on, Dad,
look what it did for Nick.

(grunting)

Thank you, I'll pass.

Oh, good, you're all here.

Take a look at this... I want
to show you something adorable.

- Oh, no, baby pictures.
- Oh, Mom, come on.

- Nick's here. - Mom, I know
how precious I was...

STEVEN:
Kids, kids.

If your mom wants
to pour over pictures

of her children, let her.

It's part of being
the loving, nurturing

and devoted mom that she is.

Elyse, these are pictures
of buildings.

Aren't they cute?

Look, this is
the Cavanaugh Building

when it was only one week old.

That's the Cavanaugh Building
during its first summer.

Isn't it having fun?

Here it is at the circus,
eating cotton candy.

Mom, how far along is this plan
to build the mall?

Well, it seems to be
in the formative stages.

They still have
to get the permit

and the approval
of the zoning board.

Wait a minute, if they haven't
got the permits yet,

it means there's still a chance
to fight this thing.

You know, back in the ' s...

- Oh, back in the ' s...
- Oh, Dad, come on.

Back in the ' s, by now,
we'd be all organized

to stage a protest.

We'd make
the zoning board listen

to the people of this community

instead of the money-grubbing,
blood-sucking real estate

profiteers who want to ravage
our city streets

just to turn a fast buck.

Hey, do I talk like that
about your friends?

Elyse, we can't let them
push us around.

After all, who needs
another mini-mall?

Dad, do I talk that way
about your friends?

Okay, everybody, are you in?

- Yeah.
- Hey, for you, Mom.

It's my baby.

(crying):
My beautiful baby.

Elyse, please.

Your hurting
the children's feelings.

Oh, well, you guys, too.

Oh, here.

Come here, look, all of you,
look, look, right here.

Look at this brick, huh, huh?

It's a honey, Mom,
real brickish.

No, you have to look closer.

There's something
scratched on it.

Oh, "To Steven, Alex and Mallory

with love, Elyse, ."

What about me and Jen, Mom?

Well, you two
hadn't been born yet.

You have a chisel on you, Mom?

Hey, wait a minute,
there's more.

Uh, "I dedicate this building

"to you, my loving family.

May its structure be
as strong and as sound..."

Hi. Brick inspector.

How are you?

These are fine. These are good.

Solid, nice tone.

Back to work. Thanks.

How can they put
a mini-mall in here?

It'd just be so wrong
to tear this building down.

There's still people working
in there, you know.

Well, I'm assuming
they'll be asked to leave

before the ball goes crashing
through the wall.

It's not going to come
crashing through the wall.

We're going to save
this building, right, guys?

NICK:
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

I'm sorry I'm late, you guys,

but I was picketing
in front of the wrong building.

But you'll be happy to know
they are not going to knock down

Sisters of Mercy Hospital.

Hey, Nick.

- Hey, buddy, how you doing?
- STEVEN: Come on.

Let's get picketing.
Let's get a chant going.

Dad, why don't you kick it off,
and if it's

not too embarrassing,
we'll all join in.

Okay, all right.
How about, uh,

"Cavanaugh yes, mall no"?

No, I can't say that, Dad.

Well, do what you can, honey.

Hey, uh, did you want to help
save the Cavanaugh Building?

Actually, I'm here to knock down
the Cavanaugh Building.

Dave McPhee,
McPhee Brothers Demolition.

Who are you?

I'm the architect
of this building.

Oh, hey, the architect.

Uh, listen, what do you think's
the best way

to level this baby in a hurry?

Hey, look, you're not
gonna level anything.

The demolition permits
haven't been issued yet.

Here you are.

I just want you to know my
family and I are gonna fight you

every inch of the way on this.

Hey, don't tell me.

Dad, Dad, take it easy.

You know, this guy
could blow us to bits.

If you got a problem,
I'd hurry up

- and take care of it.
- Well, you bet we will.

I'll tell you, we're gonna
be out here every day

- until we win this thing.
- I understand.

Oh, if you picket on Friday,

I'd leave a little
more space between you

for the, uh, wrecking ball
to swing through.

Come on, guys, let's do it.

ALL (chanting):
Cavanaugh yes, mall no.

Cavanaugh yes, mall no.

Cavanaugh yes, mall no.

(heavy exhaling)

(Alex grunts)

(whistles)

(imitates expl*si*n)

(laughs)

Alex, go ahead and laugh
if you want.

We are on a higher psychic plain
than you are.

Our yin is in perfect alignment

with our yang.

Can you say that?

Our yin...

is in perfect alignment
with our yang.

Now, look out or I'll step
on your liver meridians.

Alex, come on, give me
one more chance to fix you.

Fix me? You know I was just
offered the lead

in the new production
of The Hunchback of Notre Dame?

Come on, Alex, I probably just
overstimulated your pancreas.

Let me have a look.

Get away from my pancreas.

It's the only thing I got left
that works.

Alex, you're being...
Look, your legs are working.

- You're being ridiculous.
- Keep your hands

in your pockets, Mallory!

(chuckling)

(heavy exhaling continues)

(Steven exhaling)

What are we doing?

We're basking in the afterglow.

Of what?

Of Shiatsu.

I didn't have any.

Well, you can just enjoy
being here with me.

(Jennifer exhales)

I think I'll get up now.

MALLORY: Hey, you guys,
help me hold him down

so I can realign his vertebrae!

You will not be happy
until I'm one large knot!

No, Alex,
you're being ridiculous.

Now, just lay down,
and everything will be fine!

- Hi, honey.
- Hi.

Do you know that every day,
when I go to work,

I drive two and a half miles
out of my way

just to go by
the Cavanaugh Building?

I cannot believe that one day
it will not be there anymore.

Try to look
on the bright side, Elyse.

No matter what, it will live on
in our memories.

Oh, Steven, it's not the same.

How would you feel
if someone wanted

to destroy your first
documentary?

Well, it's not like
it hasn't been suggested.

What's the use
of worrying about it?

It's done, hmm?

Might as well
just put it out of my mind.

Next time I go to work,

I'll just drive
by the mini-mall,

wave hi to Mallory
and go on my way.

Come on.
Don't be so negative, Elyse.

There must be something
we can do.

(groans, sighs)

Alex, I'm trying
to convince your mother

that the Cavanaugh Building
can be saved.

She thinks it's hopeless.
Help me out here.

It's hopeless, Dad.

Look, there are certain
fiscal realities here, okay?

I mean, a guy owns a building,

he can do whatever
he wants with it

regardless of other people's
feelings.

I mean, that's the beauty
of capitalism.

That's what makes this country
such a delight for the wealthy.

Thanks for dropping by, son.

Wait a minute.
Alex, Alex, thank you.

You just made me realize
that there is hope.

Well, you must have completely
misunderstood everything I said.

No, no, no.

You said that the owner
can do anything he wants.

All I have to do
is confront that owner

on a professional basis.

You know, I will appeal
to his... his aesthetic sense,

his... his spirit
of civic pride,

his desire
to be a responsible member

of the Columbus
business community.

And then...
and then I will convince him

that there's more to life
than making money.

Let's get the old wrecking ball
warmed up.

(intercom buzzes)

Yes, Miss Clark.

Mr. Willis, there's
an Elyse Keaton out here.

She says she was the architect
on the Cavanaugh Building

and she wants to see you.

Right. Tell her I'm not here.

ELYSE: Mr. Willis,
I realize you're not in,

but I would like to see you.

Get rid of her.

- (door opens)
- MISS CLARK: Ms. Keaton!

Oh, Ms. Keaton!
Pleasure to see you.

Look, Mr. Willis,
we both know why I'm here,

so let's dispense
with the niceties, okay?

I'll put my cards on the table.

I do not want
my building destroyed,

but I'm willing to compromise.

- You're willing to compromise?
- Mmm.

What a break for me.

That's why I have designed
the Cavanaugh Consumer Complex.

Now, in the grandest tradition
of urban rehabilitation,

we preserve the external
structure while inside...

inside, Mr. Willis,
is the mini-mall of your dreams.

Thus we maintain
the stylistic integrity

and the historical essence
of the neighborhood

while profitable enterprise
takes place within.

Now, I hope you like
my idea, Mr. Willis.

It's my final offer.

Oh, good, that means I won't
have to hear another one.

Okay, how about this?

The world's first
helium-filled mini-mall.

It... it hovers directly over
the Cavanaugh Building,

it's collapsible
on the holidays,

and it's the first mall
that could be entered

in the Macy's
Thanksgiving Day Parade, huh?

What do you think?

I think you're a lunatic.

Ms. Keaton, it's a simple matter
of dollars and cents.

I own the building.

If I tear it down
and build a mini-mall,

I'll make a lot of money.

But tearing down
a beautiful building

to put up
just another mini-mall...

Just another mini-mall?

The Dayton Stop and Grab,
my first mini-mall.

My baby.

It's a landmark
in the mini-mall world.

So, how would you feel
if someone tore it down?

Already did.

To put up
the Dayton Park and Pick.

Well, the Dayton Park and Pick

looks just like
the Stop and Snatch.

That's the Stop and Grab.

That's the Stop and Snatch
in Steubenville.

How can you tell?
They all look just alike.

I know. I find that
very comforting.

Personally, I don't know how

you can put these things up
all the way across the country

without some sense
of self-loathing.

Come again?

Architecturally, they...

they are a real blight
on the landscape.

I mean, you are turning America
from Maine to California

into one huge mini-mall.

Doesn't that bother you?

Only if I don't build them.

I love the certainty and
security mini-malls provide.

I love knowing any time,
day or night,

that I can get film developed,
rent a video or get a Slurpee.

Can you do that
at the Cavanaugh Building?

Oh, Mr. Willis, the Cavanaugh
isn't just a building.

It's-it's... it's like a family.

Look, how would you feel
if someone came in here

and destroyed this beautiful
picture of your family, huh?

That's not my family.

What, they came with the frame?

No, I didn't like the family
that came with the frame.

I had to buy another frame
to get these people.

Look, uh, I cannot begin
to tell you

what to do with your building.

Uh, I just thought
you should understand

that someone sweated
and-and anguished

and lost sleep trying
to create this building.

Uh, please save this building.

This is the embodiment
of my dreams.

Help me, Mr. Willis.

Save the Cavanaugh Building.

Believe me, deep down,

I just know you understand
what I'm talking about.

Did you ever get an itch
in the back of your head

that you just couldn't
quite reach?

(Steven sighs)

You okay?

Yeah.

Just thinking about other things
we could have done,

but it's too late now.

We did all we could.

We did everything but chain
ourselves to the building.

Oh, yeah, now you think of it.

Elyse, look at it this way.

You have all these
other buildings.

You know, I remember when I
designed the Cavanaugh Building.

I was so naive.

You know, I think I only
gave them one proposal.

I couldn't believe that they'd
want to see anything else.

They didn't.

When they gave me
the go-ahead, I...

I was so excited,
I just screamed,

and I hugged Mr. Cavanaugh
so hard, his monocle popped off.

I remember that day.

I was home with Alex and Mallory
in that little apartment

- we had on Rosewood Avenue.
- Mm-hmm.

You came through the door
with such a gleam in your eye.

The only other time
I had seen that look

was when you thought you'd
spotted Bob Dylan

at the International House
of Pancakes.

(chuckles, sighs)

Was that years ago?

Seems like yesterday.

Also seems just like
a thousand years ago.

When did it all go so fast?

I know what you mean.

Who would have ever thought
we'd be sitting here in ,

house of our own, five children?

Four.

Right, four children.

Nice jobs, money in the bank,
two good cars.

Yeah.

God, we're square.

Well, you are.

You know, the worst part
is that...

I feel I worked so hard,
you know?

I... I-I've tried to make
my mark in the world

to create something that said
"Elyse Keaton was here."

Then they're gonna tear it down.

Seems like pretty soon,

there's not gonna be any record
of who I used to be.

I'll remember.

I look at you,

and I still see that same
wild-eyed young woman

who ran into that apartment

with the news
of her first building.

And then...

then I see the -year-old girl
I fell in love with.

Then the young woman who gave
birth to our beautiful children.

And then...

more mature,

older, wiser.

Older.

Uh, watch it, buster.

Anyway, you are all these people
to your family,

and we don't need any buildings
to remind us of that.

You have made your mark... here.

(knocking)

Come in.

Mom, I have a present for you.

- What? - What is it?
- I'll give you a hint.

It's from your building.

A... a brick!

- How'd you know?
- Oh!

'Cause I wanted one so badly.

Thank you.

I love it.

All those birthdays,
I've been running out

and wasting money on perfume.

Mom, we found the brick
with the writing on it.

"I dedicate this to you,
my loving family."

Thank you so much.

Oh, Cavanaugh Building's
demolished, huh?

(blows raspberry)

I'm sorry, Mom.

I will never shop at that mall.

Ever, ever, ever!

Honey, I-I think that's
really too great a sacrifice

to ask you to make.

I'm not setting foot there.

Hey, hey, take it easy, Mal.

You're going to become a...
a mall martyr.

I want to thank you so much
for trying to help me.

Thank you, sweetheart.

You guys were great.

I... I never dreamed
we'd all be picketing together.

(chuckles)

On... on the same side,
that... that is.

Mom, you've been through a lot.

I'm sure
you're tremendously tense.

Let me Shiatsu you.

No, no! Mom, don't!



MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

(Ubu barks)