08x01 & 08x02 - Sam's Missing

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat music) ♪ Now
the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two, they
got nothing but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that
you got not a lot ♪

♪ So what, they have
theirs and you have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪

♪ Yes it does ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪

(audience laughing)

- Kid, what are you doing?

- A photo journal of
Maggie's redecoration.

Part one, men at work.

(camera shutter clicking)

(audience laughing)

- Kid, you do that
again and you'll have

a racing stripe down
the middle of your face.

(audience laughing)

- Arnold, Arnold, Arnold.

There's still time to
save the bunk beds.

- Now Sam, don't
start that again.

You know Maggie has to
redecorate our room, too.

- I know, Arnold.

But with your mouth,
you could talk her into

keeping the bunk beds.

(audience laughing)

They're the neatest.

You can jump off
them like a paratrooper,

or climb up 'em like a fireman,

and you know what else?
- Or when you get out of 'em,

you could step all over my face.

(audience laughing)

Forget it, Sam.

The bunks are history.

- Aw man, I'm sure gonna
miss sleeping in Elmo.

- You named your bunk Elmo?

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, it's full name is
Elmer Buckingham the Third.

(audience laughing)

Arnold, please.

- Look, Sam, if I had my way,

you'd be going with Elmo.

We wouldn't even
be sharing a room.

- Oh yeah?

Well you're lucky
you share a room.

- I'm in high school now,

and a man needs his privacy.

- Well you're lucky to share a
room with me, Arnold Jackson.

- Yeah.

- Man, my last
chance to lie on Elmo.

(audience laughing)

- That's how I'm
gonna go, too, kid.

In bed.

(audience laughing)

- Turkey little kid.

What a great picture.

Child refusing to grow up.

(audience laughing)

- Maggie, listen.

Now, we've been living
this way for a month.

We just have to move to a hotel.

I feel like a squatter
in a construction site.

(audience laughing)

- Philip, honey,
it is not that bad.

You haven't tripped over
anything in at least three days.

- Wrong, this morning I
tripped over a two by four,

and I landed square
on my, nevermind.

(audience laughing)

- Well dear, your
nevermind will heal.

Besides, the workmen
will be out of here

before you know it.

- Maggie look.

The World Trade Center went
up faster than this banister.

You know what I'd love to do?

Fire the whole bunch.

- Oh Philip, hush.

I think it's coming
along pretty well.

- Oh.

- Mrs. Drummond.

You know, Boris, the
painter who keeps humming

the theme from Jeopardy?

(audience laughing)

Well, he got paint
in my soup again.

- Let me fire him.

Well, I have to fire somebody.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

It's wonderful.

Absolutely perfect.

- You like paint in your food,

I can whip up a batch
of semi-gloss chicken.

(audience laughing)

- This is the exact color
I want for the bathroom.

- With or without peas?

(audience laughing)

- Can I fire him?

- Maybe.

- Just a little painter humor.

The fumes do that to you.

I'll see if I can match it.

- I'd better get back before
they spackle my rump roast.

(audience laughing)

- Maggie, I was
very excited when

you became interested
in Chinese art.

I loved the idea of
redecorating the apartment.

But living without any furniture

in a house full of
workmen is just madness.

- Hey, you've been no
bargain either, you know.

(audience laughing)

- Oh no, I didn't mean...

- You know, you're lucky to
have my crew working here.

We did the
Rockefellers' apartment.

If that doesn't grab you,

we did Tommy Tune's kitchen.

(audience laughing)
- Really?

What kind of floor does he have?

- We don't want
Tommy Tune floors.

(audience laughing)

- Look, Sam, giving up bunk beds

is part of growing up.

- They have 'em in the army.

- So go enlist.

They could use a
red headed target.

(audience laughing)

- I know Pearl was upset,

but you gotta admit, Kimberly,

her vegetable soup did
clean those paint brushes.

- Freeze. (camera
shutter clicking)

Brother and sister.
- No wise cracks, Arnold.

- Who said anything
about a wise cr*ck?

First time you
didn't break my lens.

(audience laughing)

- You know guys, I grew
up with that furniture.

It's kinda like losing
a part of my life.

- Kimberly, don't you start
blubbering over furniture, too.

What is the big deal?

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

That's my favorite racer lamp.

(audience laughing)

- It does not enhance
the decor, so it goes.

- What's the matter, Arnold?

Blubbering over furniture?

- It's just a part of
growing up, Arnold.

(audience laughing)

- Wait a minute, fellas.

Leave the couch here.

Dad, Maggie, come out here.

Come down here, dad.

Come on, Maggie.
- What is it, Arnold?

- [Philip] What's
the matter, Arnold?

What did they do now?

- I wanna take one last
picture on the old couch.

(laughing) (all chattering)

- Come on, you guys.

- Alright.

(all chattering)

- We could all
fit on that crate.

- Alright, are we all in focus?

- Uh huh.
- We are.

- Cheese.

(audience laughing)

- Hey mom, can you
help me with my math?

- Your brother was
so good in math.

Such a terrible accident.

- Morning, son.

How you doing?

- Hi dad.

- Morning, May.

You didn't get much
sleep last night.

You alright?

- I'm fine, Donald.

I'm just fine.

- You know, May.

I've got some
vacation time saved up.

Why don't we take a
nice drive to the shore,

and maybe stay for a week?

- I don't think so.

- Hey hey.

Listen to me for just a minute.

I know how hard it's been
on you since Tommy d*ed.

And I've been thinking about it,

and there are hundreds of
homeless boys in the city.

Orphans, runaways,
they're hungry.

They don't have
any family at all.

- It's sad, isn't it?

- Well maybe we could give
a home to one of those boys.

How would that
sound to you, May?

- Nice.

Very nice.

- You'll see.

It'll be just like the
good old times again.

- I need to get my thread.

- Can you do that, dad?

I mean, just take a
kid off the streets?

Wouldn't it be better
to adopt someone?

- Bobby, that could take years.

Your mother.

Your mother's in real
bad shape right now.

Besides, you know,
most kids on the street,

they don't have anybody
to take care of them.

You understand?

- But dad, if...

- Bobby, come on, I'll
drop you off at school.

- You know, Willis.

The way the apartment is now,

well, I think it's
very romantic.

- You know, I think I'm
gonna invite Cindy up here.

Chaos turns her on.

(audience laughing)

- Hi Kimberly.
- Hi dad.

- Hey dad, bye dad.
- Hi Willis.

Oh no.

- Mr. Drummond.

The painter dropped...

- No, I don't want
to hear about it,

and I certainly
don't wanna eat it.

(audience laughing)

- Yes, sir.

Boris, stop humming.

(audience laughing)

- Hi dad.
- Arnold listen.

Am I crazy, or is living
this way miserable?

- Oh, I love it, dad.

I thrive on misery.

(audience laughing)

I've lived with
Willis, haven't I?

(audience laughing)

- How's your photography coming?

- Great, until two minutes ago.

I set up my dark
room and I discovered

I was out of developer.

- Oh, well there's a
camera store right...

(grinding)

Hear that?

That's a jackhammer.

In my bedroom.

(grinding)

Hey, cut that out.

(audience laughing)

- He's handling this
better than most, huh?

Remember the time
Henry Kissinger started

talking to the drop cloth?

(audience laughing)

- Hey Arnold, I've
got a great idea.

- I'll be the judge of that.

- I think I should be your
photographer's assistant.

- No way, no how, never in a...

You know, Sam, you're right.

(audience laughing)

I do need an assistant,
and you're just the man.

- Don't worry, Arnold.

I've grown up a lot since
they took out the bunk beds.

(audience laughing)

- That's good.

That's why I'm gonna
trust you with this.

I want you to go
to the camera store

and get my some D76 developer.

- D76, yes, sir.

- And equally important
with the developer

are good potato chips.

So assistant, you're
the potato chip expert,

so go and get me a twin pack.

- Assistant?

Sounds to me like
I'm an errand boy.

(audience laughing)

- Do you wanna learn the
photography ropes or not?

- Sorry, Arnold.

Glad to do it.

- Like sh**t'
ducks in a barrel.

(audience laughing)

- You can't tell anything
by squeezing the bag.

Just breaks 'em up
that way, that's all.

(audience laughing)

- But I can tell by the way they

cr*ck if they're fresh or not.

(audience laughing)

- Everybody's an expert.

(suspenseful music)

(crunching)

I heard that.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

- Oh that's
alright, I'll get it.

Here you go, mister.

- Thanks a lot, son.

Let's see here.

Yeah, I think,

say, fellow, which one
of these dog biscuits

do you think is the best, huh?

- I'm sorry, mister.

I'm not supposed
to talk to strangers.

- Oh well, yeah, that's
very good advice, too.

I'm an adult and I never
talk to strangers myself.

- That's good.

- Yeah, I wouldn't
even be talking to you if

I wasn't so upset about Rocky.

Rocky was my dog.

He ran away.

- Gee, that's too bad.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I think he liked
these the very best.

(rattling)

He'd hear that box
rattling like that,

boy, he'd come running.

You know what I plan to do is,

I'm gonna drive around
the neighborhood,

and shake the
box out the window.

Well, I'll see you, son.

- Good luck.

- Ah darn it, you know.

I'm really afraid I may
never see old Rocky again.

I mean, I can't drive,
shake this out the window,

and look all at the same time.

It would be real nice if I
had someone to help me.

- I'd love to help you, mister,

but I don't know you.

- Oh sure, I understand.

Well Rocky, I sure
hope you find yourself

a real good home, soon, too.

You know what they do to
stray dogs in this city, boy.

- Yeah, it's pretty awful.

- Yeah, it's gonna be real
awful for my daughter, Barbra.

Barbie, I call her.

She raised Rocky since
he was a little puppy.

They grew up together.

It's gonna be real
hard to tell her.

She's been sick.

Listen, little fella, I know
we shouldn't be talking at all,

but do you suppose maybe
you could be a good Samaritan,

help me find old Rocky?

- I'm sorry, guy.

- I mean, you know,
good Samaritan,

like it says in the Bible.

- Well, I...

- We're just gonna be looking
around this neighborhood.

- Well okay.

I'd love to see you
get Rocky back.

- Alright, that's great.

You're helping me out,
I really appreciate that.

What's your name?

- Sam McKinney.

- Well Sam, let's
go find old Rocky.

What do you got
there, potato chips, huh?

- Hi dad.

- [Philip] Hi Arnold.

- Dad, when the painters
hang out on the corner,

whistling at the girls,
are you paying for that?

(audience laughing)

- Probably time and a half.

(audience laughing)

- Where's Sam?

I need to use the dark room.

- Sam?

Well, I assumed he
came home from school

and he was hanging out with you.

- No.

I sent him to the
store over an hour ago.

- An hour ago?

Well, he should've
been home by now.

- That's weird, I
don't understand.

Maybe he's outside.

Sam.

- [Philip] Sam?

- Where are you?

Sam, are you upstairs?

- Sam?

- Where is he?

I'm gonna go look for him.

- I'd better go with you.

- Now, I know he came
here after the camera store.

- I don't understand it.

The clerk there said he left
that store over an hour ago.

- Look.

Sam's been here.

The chips are a mess.

(audience laughing)

- Excuse me.

- I'm sorry about the
potato chip display.

It fell prey to a four
foot twin pack terror.

(audience laughing)

- Sam.

- Little red headed boy?

- Floppy haircut, super cute?

- They're not super cute
when they att*ck my chips.

(audience laughing)

That is the culprit.

- Look, he's overdue at home.

Did you see which way he went?

- Yeah, he left with his father.

- Huh?
- What?

- Yeah.

- Well, that's impossible.

His father lives in Nashville.

Is this the little boy?

- That's the kid, alright.

- Oh my God.

Arnold, this is terrible.

- I'm sorry, but I was so busy.

(phone dinging)

- Hello, police?

I want to report a missing boy.

- Where are we?

We've been driving
for over two hours.

- That's not important.

Now do you remember
what I told you

I would do to your parents?

Don't you forget it.

May, Bobby?

May?

May.

This is Sam.

- Hello, Sam.

- Hi, ma'am.

- [Don] He's gonna
be living with us now.

- He's just darling.

He's so skinny.

- Well, he's been living
in a cardboard box.

He's been eating scraps
that restaurants throw away.

You should've seen him
before I got him all cleaned up

and bought him
these new clothes.

He was a mess.

- How awful.

- Bobby, say hello
to your new brother.

- Hi Sam.

You're gonna love it here.

We got a lake nearby.

You can go boating and fishing.

It's gonna be lots of fun.

- Are you alright?

- I'm fine, ma'am.

- You don't have
to call me ma'am.

This is your family now.

- Just give him
a little time, May.

He's been through an awful lot,

and now he's got
all this to get used to.

- I'm gonna make you
something real special to eat.

Bobby, why don't you clean up

one side of your room for Tommy?

- It's Sam, May.

- Oh yeah, of course it is.

- Loosen up, boy.

Now you remember what I told you

I'd do if you tried to run away?

Or you talk to anybody, huh?

You remember that?

(whimpering)

I will k*ll your parents, Sam.

- No you wouldn't.

- No?

I kidnapped you, didn't I?

- You're sure now.

Alright.

Thank you very much.

Sam isn't in any
of the hospitals,

and none of his
friends have seen him.

- Philip, we've got
to do something.

We just can't stand
here staring at the walls.

- Now now now Maggie,
I know how you feel.

But he's been gone
for less than four hours.

We'll find him, I know we will.

The police began a search
as soon as I gave them

a description of Sam.

They'll be here any minute.

- But he's so little.

- I found some pictures I
took of Sam this past weekend.

- Pictures?

Oh, right, now I have
his identification card.

These should help the police.

(doorbell ringing)

I'll get it.

- Detective Harris,
missing persons.

How do you do?

- How do you do?

- Officer Fernandez.

- How do you do?

Please come in, gentlemen.

This is my wife, Mrs. Drummond,

and my son Arnold.

- Ma'am.

- How do you do?

Thank you so much for coming.

Won't you please sit down.

(audience laughing)

Oh, I'm sorry.

We've been wanting new
furniture for a long time,

but we couldn't make
up our mind between

Chinese and country fringe,
and then for a little while,

we thought about a French...

Listen to me.

- We understand, Mrs. Drummond.

- Look, folks, I know
this is a hard time for you,

but I have to ask you
a couple questions.

I noticed that Sam's
last name is McKinney,

and yours is Drummond.

I assume that you're not
the boy's natural father.

- No he's not, but he treats
Sam as if he were his own.

- Yes ma'am.

I need to know how
the natural father

fits into the picture.

Most kidnappings are done
by parents and relatives.

Could he possibly be a suspect?

- Oh no, not Wes, no way.

I just talked to
him in Tennessee,

and he is as upset
and shocked as we are.

- Well, we'll need
his address, anyway.

Do you have a recent
photo of Sam we can have?

- Oh yeah, I have
his identification card

with his picture
and his fingerprints.

Boy, I never thought
we'd ever have to use that.

- No one ever does.

I sure wish more parents
would have it done.

It sure makes it a lot
easier to find the kids.

- Here's a picture of
Sam I took last weekend.

- That's a real nice sh*t
of Sam's nostrils, Arnold.

- Oh. (audience laughing)

Sorry, I was
practicing close-ups.

Here you are.

- Ah, that's better.

Cute little fella, isn't he?

- Yeah.

Ma'am, we've already
started the search locally.

Now we're to put
Sam's ID in the national

crime information
center's computer.

- It's also very important that

you let everyone in the
neighborhood know Sam's missing.

Anything you can do, like
making up and handing out flyers,

and talking to people
that may have seen Sam

could prove helpful.

- Okay, we'll make some flyers,

and as soon as they're ready,

me and my friends
will hit the street.

- Yeah, and I would
like to offer a reward.

Say, 50,000 dollars.

- That could help, sir.

I've gotta warn you, someone
with your kind of money,

you're opening yourself up
to a major ransom demand.

- I don't care, I want Sam back.

- Okay, we'll set
up another phone,

and have an officer listening.

- Fine, anything you have to do.

- Thank you, you've
been very helpful.

And hang in there.

I'm gonna get him back.

- Please.

Find my son.

- Thanks.

Okay bye.

That was the printer.

He says Sam's flyers
are almost ready.

He's sorry that he
had to redo them.

I can't believe you
misspelled Sam.

(audience laughing)

- Great, well I can't wait
to start handing 'em out.

- I sure hope this helps
get little red head back.

- Hey guys, it's
almost time for daddy

to be on television.

- The tap's all set.

From now on, an
officer will be monitoring

every phone call from your den.

- I better tell my girls
to watch what they say

when they call.

(audience laughing)

- Ah, don't worry, Willis.

I listen in on you all the
time, and it's no big deal.

(audience laughing)

- Quiet.

Quiet, everybody.

Philip's on television.

- On a more somber note,

we have with us today
industrialist Philip Drummond,

whose son is
missing and presumed

to have been kidnapped yesterday

from a New York City grocery.

- Thank you.

I am offering a
50,000 dollar reward

for the return of my son Sam.

Or for information
leading to his return.

If the kidnapper is watching,

I'm sure he wonders...

Please.

Please, we miss him.

We miss him very much.

- Thank you, Mr. Drummond.

If anyone has any information
regarding Sam McKinney,

please call the special police
hotline number, 555-4298.

Now, in the hopes of
preventing this from happening

to other children, we
invite you and your children

to watch Los Angeles
County Sheriff's Department

Sergeant Aaron Williams,
who's currently touring the country

in a national campaign
for child safety.

Sergeant Williams and Freddie.

- Thank you.

Sheriff Block has
Freddie and myself

going around and talking
to kids about safety,

and trying to teach them
things that would help them

to prevent being
kidnapped, right?

- Yeah, yeah.

- And with your help,
maybe we can do it.

- Yeah, I hope so, man.

- And the main thing about
kidnapping is stranger danger.

- Stranger danger.

- That's right, don't
forget that, kids.

- Stranger danger.

Now who's a stranger?

- Well, a stranger is anyone
that the kid does not know.

Anyone, remember this, anyone
you do not know is a stranger.

You don't have a little
name tag on your shirt.

Those little things
with the names on 'em.

Don't have those on there.

Because...
- Why, why?

- Let me tell you.

Because a stranger
can see that name

and pretend that they know you.

What happens when
someone calls your name?

- You look around.

- If you don't know that person,
you shouldn't go with them.

- That's right, kids.

Don't go to strangers.

Don't go to anybody
that you don't know.

- And if you get out somewhere,

and you're lost, do you
know what they can do?

- What?

- Someone comes up to them.

- What can they do?

- They can run.
- Run.

- Yell.
- Yell.

- And tell.

Always get away,
but very important,

always tell someone so
that we can find these people,

and stop them from kidnapping.

- [Freddie] What if
somebody comes up to you

and says they're a policeman?

- Verify, go into a business
where there are other grownups

to make sure
that this is no trick,

because you are easily fooled.

- Yeah, that's right.

You've got to be very careful.

- And if you're
out, you're lost,

remember, always remember
your telephone number,

your area code.

- And your address.

- And your address.

- Oh, that's good.

- Yeah, we talk to people
about safety all the time.

- And that's very helpful.

- That's right, kids.

So be very careful.

You can't be too careful.

We have to stress this point.

We have to keep telling you
this over and over and over

because we want you to remember.

- Alright kids, be
good and careful.

I love you.

We're the same size.

And I want you to
be good and safe.

- Sam is such a quiet boy.

Do you think he likes it here?

- He likes it just fine, May.

He's just not used to being
around people, that's all.

- That's the only stuff
of Tommy's I could find.

I think we gave the rest
away to the McCormicks.

- My, you look so
handsome standing

there in Tommy's clothes.

- Yeah, and he's even
gonna look more handsome

lying in the mud when
he trips over these cuffs.

(audience laughing)

- I can fix that today.

Don't worry, Sam.

You're gonna look just great.

Do you feel alright, though?

You've hardly eaten anything
since you've been here.

- I feel fine, ma'am.

I just haven't been very hungry.

- You know, May, when
you've been living on the street

for a long time like Sam has,

you get kind of used to
eating real small meals.

Isn't that right, Sam?

- Yes, sir.

Some days I got by
on just a pizza crust.

(audience laughing)

- Well, that's all
behind you now.

We're gonna put some
color in your cheeks,

and get you all
ready for school.

- You know, May.

I've been thinking about that.

Maybe we shouldn't send
him to school right away.

- Wow, no school.

Boy, are you lucky, Sam.

(audience laughing)

- We can't not
send him to school.

- I know, but if
we send him now,

he's gonna be behind
all the other kids,

and they're gonna
be picking on him

and teasing him all the time.

I just think maybe
it'd be better if you

taught him here
at home for a while,

just until he catches up.

- You're probably right.

That would give us a good chance

to get to know
each other better.

- Right.

- Bobby, will you
help me with dinner?

How does fried chicken sound?

- Sounds great.

But I can't really say for sure.

I usually just get the bones.

(audience laughing)

How long are you
gonna keep me here?

I miss my family
real bad, Mr. Brown.

- You get this straight, Sam.

This is your
family, from now on.

And stay away
from that telephone.

You step out of line just once,

and you remember what
I told you I would do?

I will k*ll your parents, Sam.

- But.

- You hear me and understand me.

- Yes, sir.

- Hi daddy.

- [Philip] Hi
Kimberly, hi Willis.

- Hey dad.

- Dad, your friend
down at the newspaper

was a real help.

- Yeah, he's
delivering Sam's flyers

along with every newspaper, dad.

Well, I sure hope this
helps get Sam back.

- It's got to, Willis.

I mean, Sam's gonna
have his face on

more news stands
than Joan Collins.

(audience laughing)

- The way you two
are pulling together

is just magnificent.

- Thanks dad.

- Come on, Willis.

- Okay, right, more flyers.

- Yeah.

- Hey dad, how's Maggie?

- About as well as
can be expected.

- Say hi for us, dad.
- Alright dad.

- Okay, see you, bye.
- Bye.

- You really should eat
something, Mrs. Drummond.

- Thanks, Pearl,
but I just can't eat.

- Well I covered the
neighborhood again.

You know, I don't know
what's more painful.

Doctor Brady
fitting me for braces,

or seeing her cry when I
gave her one of Sam's flyers.

- She says he's
one of her favorites.

- Yeah.

- Well, nobody wants to eat,

but I've gotta keep busy.

I know, I'll dust the furniture.

(audience laughing)

- Pearl, there's
no furniture to dust.

- Oh.

Right.

The kitchen.

I better keep an
eye on that painter.

He's getting shellac
on my flounder.

(audience laughing)

(doorbell ringing)

- Oh hi, Cal.

- Hi.

Sorry to bother you with all
you're going through right now,

but well, some of
your furniture arrived.

I thought you
might like to have it.

Maybe this isn't a good time.

- It isn't a good time.

It's a horrible time.

Don't any of you understand?

I don't wanna eat.

I don't wanna talk
about furniture.

I just want my son back.

These have been the
worst five days of my life.

- Well, then we'll
just be going.

- No, no you won't.

- We won't.

(audience laughing)

I don't know what got into me.

- Philip.

I don't give a damn
about those chairs.

- Look, Maggie.

I don't, either.

But until we get Sam back,

we can't just bury
our heads in the sand

and pretend that we don't exist.

Now look, I miss him, too.

But sitting on the
floor isn't gonna

bring Sam home any sooner.

- I am just so frightened.

- I know you are, sweetheart.

- Alright, Cal, bring 'em in.

- I just wanna let you know that

every night my
family gets together,

and we pray that your little
boy comes back safe and sound.

- Oh, thank you, Cal.

We really appreciate that.

- You know, my
little boy, Barry,

he's kind of a computer whiz.

He didn't take much
to praying at first,

but I threatened to
bend his software.

(audience laughing)

Now he gets down on his
knees and prays real good.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I hope that he
has an identification card.

- I had it done yesterday.

So, where would
you like your chairs?

- Hold the chairs.

Just bring in the table, okay?

- Well, we don't exactly
have your table yet.

But where would you want your

chairs if you did have a table?

(audience laughing)

- Look, why don't we figure
that out later, okay guys?

Thank you very much.

- Good luck.

- Thanks.

You okay, Arnold?

- Not really, dad.

You know, I was thinking.

They should've taken
me instead of Sam.

- Now, Arnold.

- Ah dad, it's all my fault.

I sent Sam out
for selfish reasons.

All that kid wanted
to do was help.

You know, please
his big brother.

I'm the one who
should be in trouble.

- Arnold, you don't have
anything to feel guilty about.

- I can't help it, dad.

- We all feel guilty.

I keep wondering, what
if I had never let Sam

go out in the street alone?

What if I told him to scream
if he ever got in a jam?

What if, what if, what if.

None of it's gonna help, Arnold.

- I guess not.

I just feel so bad.

- We all do, sweetheart.

We all do.

(phone ringing)

- Hello.

What?

You have Sam?

Is he safe?

Well, what do you want?

I see.

Where should I meet you?

6440.

Tonight?

Eight o'clock.

Right.

I'll be alone.

I promise, no tricks.

Okay.

Some guy says he'll give
Sam back for 100,000 dollars.

Come on, wake up.

Hey, come on, wake up.

Come on, get up out of here
or I'm gonna call the cops.

Come on, go, move.

(cat meowing)

- Hey.
- Freeze.

Get up, buddy,
you're under arrest.

(sirens wailing)

There, you have the
right to remain silent.

Anything you say...
- What did you do with Sam?

What did you do? (all yelling)

- Easy, easy.

Just go by the book, or
we're gonna blow the case.

Just relax, we'll be alright.

- I'm sorry.

I just want my boy back.

- I don't have your boy.

- What?

What are you talking about?

- Hey, I'm an extortionist.

Not some sicko kidnapper.

(audience laughing)

Ask Harris.

- You know this man?

- Unfortunately.

That's Ned Seethers,
and like he said,

there's no way he
could've kidnapped Sam.

We just let him
out of jail yesterday.

- I can't wait to see Sam.

His smiling face,
his skinny little legs,

his button eyes,
his long red hair.

- You know, I think
I'll let him stay up

as late as he wants tonight.

He loves to watch Nightline.

- Yeah, Ted Coppel
reminds him of that guy

on the cover of Mad Magazine.

(audience laughing)

- You know, but maybe
we shouldn't let him stay up.

I mean, maybe we
should keep things

as normal as possible.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we should.

- Like nothing ever happened.
- Yeah.

- Sam?

Sam.

Philip, where's Sam?

- I'm sorry, Maggie,
that was a hoax.

- Oh.

(crying)

- Hey, what you drawing?

- Just someone I used to know.

- Back when you
lived on the streets?

- Yeah.

It was this kid who lived
in the box next to mine.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I got everything
we need here

to make a fishing fly.

I got thread, bristles
from my mom's hairbrush,

don't tell her, okay?

- I won't.

- Okay, and I got a feather.

- Do you have a cork
to make it float better?

- No, the only kind
of wine my dad drinks

comes with a screw top.

(audience laughing)

- How about colors?

Anything with colors?

'Cause fish love bright colors.

- Yeah.

Now how does a
street kid like you

know so much about tying a fly?

- Well, my real daddy used
to take me fishing all the time.

- Oh, then he left you, huh?

- Not exactly.

He and my mom split up.

And she married
this other guy, Mr. D.

He's not much of a fisherman,

but he took me to see
ball games all the time.

- Well being poor, you must
be pretty good at sneaking in.

- Yeah, the whole
family used to go.

I remember afterwards,
we'd stop for ice cream.

And when we got home,
I pretended to be asleep

so Mr. D would
carry me up to bed.

Bobby, I wanna go home.

- What are you
talking about, Sam?

You mean, you wanna
go back to live by yourself

in a cardboard box?

- I don't live by myself.

I've got momma and Mr. D,
two brothers and a sister.

- Must be a pretty big box.

(audience laughing)

- We don't live in a box.

We live in a huge
apartment, two stories high.

And mommy and Mr. D
love me a whole bunch.

- What are you
talking about, Sam?

My dad saved you
from lying in a gutter.

- No, he didn't.

He just told you that so you
wouldn't know he stole me.

- You're lying.

My dad wouldn't
do nothing like that,

you ungrateful little punk.

- Oh yeah?

I found this crumpled
up in the garbage.

Your dad didn't
want anyone to see it.

- It's you, isn't it?

Dad must have done it because

mom's been so shook
up since Tommy d*ed.

But it's still not right.

You can't steal a kid
to replace another one.

He didn't mean
any harm by it, Sam.

- He said if I
tried to get away,

he would k*ll my parents.

- Dad wouldn't do
nothing like that.

Never.

(crying)

- No, no, over a little.

Great, great, guys.

That's the furthest point
from anything valuable,

so I'm safe in case a
food fight breaks out.

(audience laughing)

- Yeah, I sure hope
my kid learns to

throw a baseball the
way he throws lasagna.

(audience laughing)

Well, I guess we'll
bring the rest of

the stuff up later.

- Okay, thanks, Cal.

- Yeah.

- Bye.
- [Cal] See ya.

- Mr. Drummond, Maggie,
Willis, Kimberly, Arnold,

get down here.

- Oh, Pearl, look at
the table, it's beautiful.

- Gorgeous.
- Isn't that nice?

- What is it, Pearl?

Oh, that's very nice, Pearl.

- Thanks.

I prepared a special
breakfast to break it in.

- This is a nice table, Pearl.

But this isn't an antique.

- How can you tell?

- There's no gum under it.

(audience laughing)

- Dig into my
special French toast.

- Alright.

- Well, what do you think?

- It is delicious.

- [Pearl] Mrs. Drummond?

Oh, I can't believe I
set a place for Sam.

Mr. Drummond, I'm so sorry.

- Oh no, that's alright, Pearl.

You didn't mean to do that.

- And I wanted it to be
such a nice breakfast.

- Oh Pearl, it's not your fault.

- It's not your fault,
it is a nice breakfast.

It's beautiful.

(phone ringing)

- Hello.

- Hi, Arnold, it's me, Sam.

- Sam.

Where are you?

- I don't know.

- Well, are you okay?

- I'm scared, Arnold.

I can't stay on the
phone very long.

- Alright, Sam.

Now, just stay calm.

Dad, dad.

Sam, listen, what's the
number on the phone?

- Area code 914-555-6411.

Arnold, I've gotta go.

- Wait, hello, Sam, Sam.

- What is it, Arnold?

- Dad, I just had
Sam on the phone.

He gave me this number.

- What?

- Way to go, Arnold.

You handled
that like a real pro.

Come on, Mr. Drummond.

We'll get Harris and
trace this number.

- Dad, what about Maggie?

- Arnold, let's not say anything

until we have Sam safe at home.

I don't think Maggie could
take another disappointment.

- Well Sam, I'm glad
you're finally eating.

Now we just have
to get him to gab,

and he'll fit in like
one of the family.

(laughing)

- What's the matter
with you, Bobby?

Did you catch a quiet bug
from old Sam there, huh?

- I guess so.

(knocking on door)

- Who is it?

- [Officer] Police, open up.

We have a warrant
to search the premises.

- Get away from there, May.

- You're all under arrest for
the kidnapping of Sam McKin...

- Kidnapping?

- Sam.

- Mr. D.

Oh, Mr. D, I'm so...
(audience cheering)

I knew you'd come and get me.

I knew you would.

- We weren't gonna give
up until we found you.

- Don, Don, what's happening?

- She had nothing
to do with this.

My wife and son had
nothing to do with this.

- It's true.

- We'll have to
figure this out later.

- Sam.

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Brown.

Bye Bobby.

- You have the
right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and
will be used against you.

(audience laughing)
- Ow.

Oh man.

I wish we had the old furniture.

At least I knew where to pace.

(audience laughing)

- I'm just glad we
got rid of those crates.

I was getting a bad
case of box butt.

(audience laughing)

- I can't stay up in that
bedroom any longer.

I'm gonna fix that
leaky sink in the kitchen.

It's been driving
me crazy for weeks.

- Cal said he'd fix it tomorrow.

- He's been saying
that for weeks.

- Look what I found.

(all yelling)

Found him.

Maggie. (audience applauding)

- What?

- Momma.

Oh mommy.

- Oh, Sam.

I can't believe you're safe.

And I can't believe it's you.

- I missed you, momma.

Are you mad at me?

- Mad?

I'm too happy to be mad.

- Good, momma.

And I promise I'll never
talk to a stranger again.

- I know, I know.

But the most important
thing is that you are home.

(audience applauding)

- I'll tell you all
about it later.

- Hey, Sam, buddy.

Man, I can't tell you how
happy I am to see you.

- Really, Arnold?

Do you really mean it?

- Hey, we're gonna
be roommates forever.

- He does mean it.

- Alright. (audience applauding)

(upbeat music)

(electronic music)

(electronic crescendo)