01x17 - Cliff Anger

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Other Kingdom". Aired April - June 2016.*
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"The Other Kingdom" follows fairy princess Astral, who is given a chance to check out life in the human world, attending high school. However, she soon has to choose between being either a fairy princess or a human as she is set to inherit the crown of her royal kingdom of Athenia.
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01x17 - Cliff Anger

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on the other kingdom.

The time of the fairy is over.

Where should I put the goat?

I don't think wings are just gonna pop out of you.

Not on my watch, Morgan.

The dance is on.

Amazing.

Of course they are.

We still have another option.

We said we wouldn't.

I can't tell you what I'm wearing to the fall dance,

it'll ruin the surprise.

How can I match the corsage

if I don't know what color your dress is?

Okay I'll give you a hint, it's the color of my favorite flower.

And that is...

Where your ace guessing abilities come in handy.

You're fun, Astral.

Well that's why they call me "fun Astral."

Okay, nobody calls me that.

But they should.

You're fun, and different, and...

Well, there's something I've wanted to tell you

for a really long time...

Anything!

You can tell me anything.

I like you, Astral.

I really like you.

You do?

Like, LIKE-like?

Like I want to be with you for the rest of my life?

Pack your bags!

QUICK!

We have to get out of here!

What?!

We can't leave--

You have to.

We all do.

NOW!

[laughing maniacally]

[scream]

[panicked breathing]



[Morgan grunting]

You guys ready for school?

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Cuz are still getting ready.

Not everyone can sleep on their face for twelve hours

and wake up looking this good.

Hashtag woke up like this.

Hashtag troll life.

Can you control yourselfie for two seconds?

I need help with this.

Since I have a free moment...

let's have a muscle party.

You moving in?

The Fall Dance is back on,

and these fairy bowers won't build themselves.

There are garlands to be strung.

And lights to untangle.

And if one thing goes wrong

the entire dance could unravel!

Hailey much?

What's going on with you?

It's nothing.

It's such a tiny problem, but...

I can't dance.

Huh?

I can't dance.

Crazy talk.

I've seen you do that weird little fairy jig.

I mean, I've never danced with anybody.

Is there some troll potion that can teach me to dance?

No.

But I know a troll that could.

Really?

If it'll make you not do

that lip sticky-outy thing you did just now.

Pouting?

Yeah.

That.

It made me want to give you one of those full-body strangles.

You mean a hug.

Awwwww, I knew you had a soft spot.

It's called a fontanelle and it's gonna harden any day now!



[thunder]

Mom!

I had this terrible dream that we were evacuating...

Shhhhhhh, it was just a dream, Astral.

Like that time Brendoni put your hand in water

and you dreamt you were swimming.

But we really are moving the realm?

We may have found a new home, but we need your help.

I'm not like other kids.

I guess you could call me different.

Back home, I'm a princess.

But here I could be whoever I want to be.

Go to school, make new friends, explore your ways,

and have some fun.

Hiding my fairy powers isn't always easy.

But my friends help me when things go wrong.

I have to make a choice soon.

Your world or my home.

Time is running out.



Spartanians run on their own time,

and it's always dork o'clock.

So, this prince...

He's the son of King Reed, of Spartania--

But he's still a prince.

Do you know if there's a princESS in the picture?

I'm only hanging out with him because his father's busy

negotiating with my parents about evacuating Athenia.

So you have to be nice to him.

I get it.

Yeah.

Spartanians stink.

And not in the charming, musky troll way I do.

Maybe he's not that bad.

Have you met him before?

I don't have to meet one of those nose gobs

to know I wouldn't break bread with him,

even if it was drizzled in tomato sauce, covered in garlic,

and smothered in melted cheese.

Are you thinking of pizza?

Always.

Spartanians are arrogant, conceited, pretentious--

Like I said, nose gobs.

Okay, they stink.

I get it.

Orb.

You.

Kidding me?

So Spartanian.

All sizzle, no steak.

Think of Athenia.

Cliff?

Very fancy entrance.

Daddy would never let me fly economy.

Astral.

Celestial by name, celestial by sight.

My favourite kind of flowers: assorted!

I'm Morgan.

Astral's BFF.

I'm an Other, but please don't hold it against me.

If I didn't know better, I would have thought

you were a fairy yourself.

Where are those wings?

Lemme see 'em.

Lemme see 'em!

And for you, Brendoni...

Yellow mud squares imported from Corinthia.

I haven't tasted mud

since I accidently licked that pig at the petting zoo.

Thanks, man!

Well...

Give me the tour!

If this place is half as charming as all of you,

I'm sure I'd be very happy to visit.

King Reed, we are honored with your presence.

Of course you are.

I'm a hoot.

Join us for an Inka-berry toast.

If King Oberon grits his teeth any harder,

he'll be spitting out diamonds.

This guy's gonna make me headbutt myself

right in the face.

Versitude.

My most trusted advisor.

I'd not trade her for the world.

To thine own elf be true.

[laughing]

Did you see that?!

What do you think that smile meant?

That he flosses and he wants everyone to see.

We've got to get in there!

Oh well, maybe next time!

We can't give up.

Focus.

Determination.

These are the traits of a true--

Peaseblossom?

Come with me.

I'm gonna show you how to dance your pants off.

But please keep your pants on.

What if someone walks in?

No one ever comes in here during lunch.

I know, this is one of my top six places to nap.

Okay.

Get ready to celebrate the joy of movement.



Just let your body go limp.

See?

Easy.

Now you try.

What happened to the waltz?

Yeah, waltz schmaltz.

We're doing the troll stroll.

Okay...

Now, just do like I do.



Limp Morgan, limp!



Astral, how can you stomach this...

excuse for a French fry?

With some ketchup.

For my Otherwalk, Daddy sent me to Switzerland,

where we had pomme frites with truffle oil

and shaved parmagiano reggiano.

You have not lived 'til you've tried it.

Garçon, truffle oil.

Make sure it's from Alba.

It's cute how you slum it with the common folk.

That's me.

So common, so cute.

Astral, good to see you have time to snarf french fries

when the fall dance is only

four hundred thirty two thousand seconds away.

Pardon me, but to whom do you think you're speaking?

Not you, Professor.

Just say the word and we'll switch out the fairy theme.

Please.

I've got the palm trees locked and loaded.

Beach theme?

You know who likes beaches?

Seagulls scavenging for scraps.

[french fry impact]

Fly away.

Ughh!

[laughs]

That was kinda rude.

Do you know what would happen in Spartania

if anyone ever disrespected royalty like that?

No, what

I can't say because it never happens.

But...

even on an Otherwalk, you're still a princess.

Well...

I guess it was pretty funny.

Thanks for standing up for me.

I think you and me could have a future together.

You and I?

Oh, yes.

You and I.

I love a girl who knows her grammar.

Shhhhh...

we need to be quiet.

I am being quiet!

Quiet as a butterfly on a summerberry bush!

Is there anything quieter than that?

A snail, I guess.

Then be like a snail.

Fine, but you're cleaning up the snail slime.

Our realm is facing its most dire danger.

More dangerous than a thousand Spartanians armed with spears?

[laughs incredulously]

It's a shame you didn't taken up arms against the Others.

You of all fairies should realize

that w*r is not always the answer.

And you have grown soft since our realms last did battle.

Now you bend at the knee to me.

Athenians don't bend.

No, of course.

Now you crawl.

Oh no he didn't!

Oh yes he did--

[gasp]

I say, that's a very close shave.

No need to thank me.

The rhythm was inside you all along.

You just had to learn to let it flow.

So...

dancing with Brendoni, huh?

No.

With Brendoni, it's more of a full body heave.

You don't know how to dance, do you?

What?

Please.

This whole time we've been friends.

It all makes sense now!

That's why your sciatica always flared up

everytime there was a dance in junior high.

Why didn't you tell me?

Like you don't have secrets.

I have one secret.

Your favourite show is Sparkle Unicorns and Cupcake Pal?

I have two secrets.

It just so happens that I am an excellent dancer.

My mom made me take lessons when I was eight.

You never told me that.

Now we're even.

C'mon Morgan.

Let me show you how to trip the light fantastic.

With Brendoni, you're only gonna learn to trip.



Excuse me, Astral.

Leaving you is such agony, but nature calls.

And if you don't answer the phone in a timely manner,

she leaves a most undesirable message.

I'll be right here.

One moment.

Bye!

Ta-ta.

I need your help.

On a scale of desperation?

I need something from your locker.

Level , just how I like it.

Oh, if you grab something and it grabs you back,

I'm not responsible.

You're that Other guy Astral waved to.

Yeah, I guess.

You new here?

No, I'm just slumming for the day.

The things you do for amour.

You and Astral?

To be honest, I wouldn't even have thought about it

if she hadn't made the first move.

She did that?

Oh yeah, yeah.

We forget that it's the girls who pick us.

You know?

Am I right or am I right?

Yeah...

Hey, Tristan.

Hey, you know that guy that you're showing around.

We just had an interesting conversation.

Don't worry, Astral, I spoke to this boy

and he won't bother you anymore.

What did you say?

I told him that you and I were all like--

[kissing noises]



Is this true, Astral?

I can explain.

She called me her "hero."

Cliff, I--

I'll let you guys figure this out.

If you don't feel the same for me as I do you,

then I'm gonna have to relay that back to Daddy.

Let him know that Athenians aren't our friends.

No, no, no, no.

You don't have to do that.

I was just surprised that you said that.

You barely know me.

I like what I know.

You say that now but there's so much

about me that you might not like.

Some guys are fickle, Astral.

I'm not.

When my mind is made up, it's made.

Oh would you look at my locker,

only a slob would live like this!

Smell this shoe.

Not very princess-like!

But you're the ying to my yang.

Hey cuz.

I lend you my stuff and this is how you treat it?

Not cool, Astral.

Not cool.

Want some?

[school bell ringing]

Can I talk to you?

Yeah, sure.

Listen, I know we've never really seen eye to eye.

And I've called you all sorts of names.

Bren-dough-head. Barf breath.

Lord of the Things.

Is this going somewhere?

This dance is really special to me, and I was wondering if...

Yeah?

You might consider...

voting "Tristan and Hailey for fall Dance King and Queen"?

I'll consider it.

I'll take that as a yes.

I knew I could count on you.

So who are you going with to the fall dance with?

I'm fielding offers.

Everybody wants to roll with the troll.

You know what I mean?

Just a super popular dude.

Gotta go!

I'm not good enough for you, Cliff.

You need to be with someone

who is truly worthy of you.

Someone like...

Like Hailey.



Ugh, it's the perfect couple.

Gross-eo and Ghouliette.

See?

Perfect couple

Sorry about all of the confusion at Snug's, Hailey.

You ran off so quickly, I didn't get a chance

to properly introduce you two.

This is Prince Cliff.

Yes, an actual prince.

And Hailey is practically royalty herself.

I get it, you're dangling the carrot in front of me.

But why would I want a carrot

when there's a whole garden at home.

I don't know what this is, but Hailey Grimm is no carrot.

If I was a vegetable, I'd be a potato.

Because I'm versatile.

And I have eyes everywhere.

Vote "Hailey and Tristan!"

Though she be but little, she is fierce.



And if you grant us exile?

Oberon and Titania shall retain their titles.

Ceremonially.

You know...

ribbon cuttings.

Parades.

We shall not, however, extend citizenship to Athenians.

And yet we'll be required to take up arms

and fight your causes?

When in Spartania, you must do as we do.

We need to think of our people.

There is one last condition.

It involves the Princess Astral.

Stop!

You can't do this!

Don't make a deal with the Spartanians!

There has to be another way!

I know. rap battle!

How dare you!

[magic expl*si*n]

Are you okay?

[squeek]

One, two, three.

Two, two, three.

One, two, three.

Two, two, three.

You're a natural.

It's all in the practice.

And now, to get interesting.



And that's how you do a dip.

Now I know what a potato chip feels like.

Totally.



What was that?

Nothing!

It's just all the magic of the waltz.

It's easy to get carried away.

Have you thought anymore about going to the dance?

No way.

I've got plans that night anyway.

There's this dinosaur documentary on TV that night.

It's called "Pangaea, I Barely Know Ya."

I'm gonna watch that.

Totally.

So I'll practice that thing you showed me.

With my cat.

Cool.

Okay.

I should go.

Yeah, me too.

Lots of homework.



Sorry.

What, no snappy comeback?

Like, "Smooth move" or "Walk much"?

Not today.

Hey Morgan.

Earlier, when I was teaching you to dance.

You looked pretty.

Cool, that is.

And I'm a cool dude.

So, ergo, let's go to this Fall dance thing.

You want go to the dance with me?

Like buds, you know?

Okay, why not...

Bud!

[laughing]



There you are!

Cliff is the son of one of my dad's business associates.

That's ALL.

There's nothing between us.

It's one giant misunderstanding.

One snobby, self-centered, Cliff-sized misunderstanding.

It did seem pretty weird.

But let's face it.

Weird stuff happens around you.

I don't blame him for liking you.

You don't?

You're pretty likeable.

In a weird, whatever sort of way.

Really?

There you are!

Oh, no.

Let me deal with him and I'll catch you later.

Sure.

Catch you on the flippity-flop.

I regret that immediately.

Cliff, you're back.

I couldn't stay away.

Guess who has good news!

You do?

I told Daddy that you're not the worst person

in the world to hang out with.

Really?

Yeah, this whole thing was just a test

to see if I could stand you.

Guess what, you passed!

What are you talking about?

The only way that Spartanians will ever let Athenians

live there is if you and I are betrothed.

You know...

married!!

Didn't I say I had good news?



Can you pass the glue?

Yeah, sure.

So I've been thinking about this dance...

And I thought maybe it might be kind of fun if...

Well, if you and I were to...

I know you said no shorts to this thing.

But what if they're formal shorts?

Brendoni, for the last time, no!

You have to wear a suit.

Suit or no dance.

She drives a hard bargain.

You two?

You're going to the dance together?

Going?

D-man, Morgan and I are gonna own it.



This troll's got stroll in his soul.

Who put that there?

Those dance lessons really paid off.

Yeah, thanks.

So what were you saying?

Oh, never mind.

It's not important.



When I was little, I was so excited about being a princess.

I thought my life was going to be all gowns and fancy balls...

and handsome princes.

You're pretty likeable.

Really?

But with privilege comes the responsibility

to defend those who can't defend themselves.

Mr. Quince, please.

Build your center somewhere else.

You have to sacrifice your own wants for the needs of many.

The only way that Spartanians will ever let Athenians

live there is if you and I are betrothed.

You know?

Married!!

A true princess puts Others before herself.



I am responsible for Athenia.



[thunder]

Mom!

Is it true?

Do I have to marry Cliff to save Athenia?



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