04x07 - Big Time Pranks II

[bunniefuu]

[Both mimicking trumpet fanfare]

- gentlemen,the day of pranks

is once again upon us.

- Today we find out

who unitesthe two halves of the crown

to become...

Sir high lord king of pranks.

- Or queen.

[Mysterious chiming]

[whip cracks][yelps]

- hear ye, hear me.

As mom of this manor,

I hereby declarethe day of pranks

cancelled.

- ♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh

♪

- ♪ Make it count,play it straight ♪

♪ don'’t look back,don'’t hesitate ♪

- ♪ when you go big time

- ♪ what you want,what you feel ♪

♪ never quitand make it real ♪

- ♪ when you roll big time

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ listen to your heart now

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ don'’t you feel the rush ♪

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luck

♪ with the life you choose

♪ if you want it all,lay it on the line ♪

♪ it'’s the only life you gotso you got to live it big time ♪

- mom, I love you,

but the day of prankswill happen.

- And I will be king.- No, I will.

- I shall rulethe land of pranks.

- And you can'’t keep trackof what we do today.

There'’s only one of you,and five of us.

- Yeah, well,

I am not the only onewho hates the day of pranks.

- It stinks.- We hate it.

- Worst holiday ever.

- You guys,we need you in the studio.

- Not running aroundplaying idiotic pranks.

- And who do you think has toclean up your mess-o-mania?

- Uh, I do.

- Yes, but I have to call youto make you do it.

- Yeah,but I totally don'’t mind--

- stop it.

- Your last day of pranks

cost my company$, in damages

and $, in pie filling.

- So now it looks likeyou guys are outnumbered.

- Well, it looks likeyou guys are old-numbered.

Adults: come again?

- Don'’t you guys remember

what it'’s like to have fun

and be a kid?

- I know how to have fun;

I just choose not to have it.

- I'’ll have you knowi can still do

the mid-air sky-highsplit kick

like I didwhen I was on cheer squad.

- Well, thenprove you'’re still a kid

and join ye day of pranks.

- Kids versus adults.

Both: if you can handle it.

Adults: you'’re on.

- Wait, did we just say that?

- Do you guyswant to read the rules?

- Here'’s the only rulewe need to know.

When we win this stupid crown,

I'’m abolishingthe day of pranks forever.

- So be it.

Pranks commence in one hour.

In for ye information,

we are no longer outnumbered.

Ye are.

- Wait.who'’s missing?

[Funky guitar music]

♪

- Why you guysall walking so slowly?

Ooh, and looking so dangerous?

I want to be dangerous.

- Stop it.

- All right, listen up.

We can'’t let an adult win,because if they do,

they will cancelthe day of pranks forever.

- So as co-reigning king,

I decree that we form alliancesand destroy the adults.

- I'’ve got my team.

- And I aligneth with...

Lucy.

- I'’m not teaming up with you.

And don'’t say you will be mine,

because I'’ll never be yours.

- Ho-ho, you will be--

- no alliances are needed.

For I will take outall seven adults

with one tin can of free mints.

But when they open the tin,

they will find no mints.

Instead,they will find pounds

of pressurized sneeze powder.

[Laughs]

[coughs]

- okay.

New recordfor logan pranking himself out.

And the rest of you, split up!

[Coughs]

[sneezes]

- okay, our strategy is simple.

They are children.

- So be on the lookoutfor childish pranks.

- Yeah.

- Just follow my lead, geezers.

I can spot a prank a mile away.

And I'’m bringing the thunder.

[Phone ringing]- yeah!

- Hang on.

Palmwoods.

Just a second.i'’ll check.

Attention, residents.

I.p. Freely,

you have a phone call.

Again, i.p. Freely.

[Kids laughing]wait.

[Laughter]

- a crank phone call, really?

A crank is not a prank.

- The seymour butts amendment.

"Crank phone calls

do hereby officially countas a prank."

- You should have read the book.

- Okay.

Well, I guessi'’m not bringing the thunder.

- Look.we feel bad.

- So to make itmore interesting,

we'’ll give you guysa five-second head start.

- Okay.

One down; six to go.

- [Chuckling]

ah.

The old leaky duct prank.

People walk by;they say,

"oh, did I just get leaked on?"

No, you just got pranked.

[Laughs]

oh, yeah.

Hmm?

- [Clears throat]- [gasps]

- sorry, buddy,you just got pranked.

- [Gasps]

smack![Yelps]

what'’s it say on my butt?

Smack!oh!

- Help.

Kelly de-whoopeed my cushions,

and now she'’s after mewith fart spray.

- Um, okay, I'’m out,so just use one of my pranks.

Here.- Okay.

- Ha!fart prank!

- [Roars

- [screaming]

- ha!

You'’re out.

- What?how am I out?

- Screams, scares,and heart skips

count as pranks.

Should have read the book.

- Well, the book is stupid.

- [Laughs]

wow.

You'’re likea dangerous supplier of pranks.

- Really?

Like a--

like a pranksta-gangsta?

One that wears a cool jacketand an eye patch?

- Um, no, no.

I wasn'’t saying that.

- Ha-ha.

Spread the word.

If a kid is in need of a prank,they should come see

the pranksta-gangsta.

- Ooh.

- On.

- You should date me.

- You'’re not my type.

- Oh, so your typeis not gorgeous and amazing

and sensitive?

- My type is not self-centeredor narcissistic

with an adonis complex.

- Yeah, well,my type is not big word girl.

And I'’m done.

You just lost a first-classticket on air diamond.

And there'’s no stand-by...

Unless you want to make out.

- On.

- I kicked lucy off air diamond.

- I hear you can get us pranks.

- I can get a lot of things.

Depends on the thingsthat you need.

What those things are for.

- What are you saying?

- I say a lot of thingsto a lot of people,

if you know what I mean.

- We have no idea what you mean.

- We need a prankto get all the adults out

so I can prank all of you

and rule the day of pranks!

- That'’s it,a scone picnic?

- No.

There'’s one more thing.

- They'’ve pranked three of ours,

and we haven'’t takenone of theirs.

- I can'’t take it anymore.

They'’re too good.

They'’re coming after me next,i know it!

- Calm down.

We just need to relax, regroup,and recharge.

- Ooh!

Scones.

- [Yelps]slap!

Could be a prank.

- Good point.

Abdul, would you--

would you mind taking a seat?

- [Sighs]

- how'’s the chair?is it, um, relaxing?

- Yeah, it'’s okay.

- How about the scones?

- [Screams]

splash!

- -Pounddeep-sea fishing wire.

Virtually invisible.

- And lord prankerton-approved.

- [Spits]

- so do you adultswant to give up

and let us kidshave our day of pranks?

- The book of ruleallows a -minute grace period

to draftyour articles of surrender.

- Who even knowshow to play this stupid game?

- [Chuckles]

you should have read the rules.

- [Whimpering]

- I owe you, buddy!

[Kids cheer]

- what does that sign say?

- I say we surrender,

and then you ground themfor nine years.

- We can'’t give up.

'’Cause we are not too oldto have fun.

- How can we winwhen we haven'’t even read

lord jokerton'’s book of stupid rules?

- I read the book.

Pretty interesting rulesin here.

- Somebody get me a phone.

- [Clears throat]

the book of rulesstates

you must now acceptthe pie of surrender

to your face.

- Wait.

Where'’s griffin?

- Right here.

That pie is for you,

thanks to lord prankerton-approved reinforcements.

[Helicopter blades whirring]

[people screaming]

splash!

[Driving rock music]

♪

- Those are...- Black ops.

- With marshmallow...- Slingshots.

- Now,

who wants pie?

- You can'’t bring in outsiders.

- Yeah, especially black ops.

- Yeah, uh...- Uh...

- Mm...- Uh...

- Article , paragraph "d."

The "black ops are awesome"addendum.

"Anyone can bring inspecial and/or black ops

"to aid them in pranks,

"because black ops

are hereby declared awesome."

- We thought it was funny,

because who could actuallyget black ops?

- I can.

- Okay, fine.

But marshmallow sh**t slop,

and not a prank.

- "The carlos amendment:

"slop, wet, or mess

"can be usedto speed up the game

if dinner is called."

Dinnertime.

We'’re having ham...

And marshmallows.

- We'’re gonna losethe day of pranks forever.

- Yeah, but dinnerdoes sound awesome.

- Don'’t worry, guys,

I studied black opsfor my movie,

biff crop teen ops,

and they will not strikewithout being provoked.

Smack!

But I could be wrong.

- You know, we feel bad,

so to keep things interesting,

we'’ll give you guysa five-second head start.

- [Yelps]go!

Smack!- Ahh!

All right, somebody tell me

what the sign says on my butt!

Clang!- Oh!

Ow.- Are you okay?

- [Gasps]no.

You better go on without me.

- What?no way.

I could not protect youthe last day of pranks,

and I will notlet that happen again.

- Which way did they go?

- I think I saw them go left.

- You have to go without me.

- No!

Okay.

I'’ll avenge you next year.

I promise.

- Please, not my shirt.it might stain.

And not my jeans.they'’re my favorite.

- Okay, well,how should we do this, sweetie?

- Uh...

Just toss one at me?

- Adults rule!

- On three.

One, two, three.

- Phew.

Made it.

Ah, crud!

- Don'’t worry, camille.

We will avenge you

and finally win that crown,

and the day of prankswill go on!

- Oh, please.

Carlos,you will never get that crown.

You'’re too nice.

- What?

I am not too nice.

- Uh, yeah, you are.

But being so sweetis what we love about you.

- I am not sweet.

I'’m bad.

- Okay.

Then ditch the dummy.

He'’s gonna slow us downin the ducts

as we make our escape.

- I can'’t abandon fake carlos.

He would never forgive me.

- Too nice!

- Hello, lucy.

Have you met my friend,

mr. End-the-day-of-pranks-forever?

[Marshmallows ricocheting]

get her!

- Go, go.[Elevator dings]

- you know, I looked upthose big words you said.

But I'’m a lot of other thingstoo.

- Like a confident dresser.

- Article , paragraph .

"A blanket can be used

as a one-timeturbo deflect-o shield."

- Hmm.

Makes sense.

- And if you spenta little more time with me,

you might like what you see.

- [Scoffs]like what?

[Elevator dings]- like this.

[Marshmallows ricocheting]

now, after saving you,

I must save the day of pranks!

- I don'’t need saving.

Kids: we need pranks.

- And we need '’em fast.

- Or we could losethe day of pranks forever.

- And I am not too nice!

- I got what you need,but what about what I need?

I need things.

Things that get you things.

- Logan,we'’re gonna lose the crown!

- Oh, right.

Uh...

- Portable confetti launcher.

Because there'’s nothingmore messy than confetti.

[Laughs maniacally]

- great!

We need six.

- What?i mean, um...

[Clears throat]no problem.

One second.

[Smooth pop music]

- ♪ all this talkabout being in love ♪

♪ I could neverget into the party ♪

♪ never really understoodwhat it was ♪

♪ like, what'’s the big dealanyway? ♪

- ♪ Oh

♪ but I decidedi should give it a try ♪

♪ the very momentyou gave me the invite ♪

♪ I'’ve never seen anythinglike it before ♪

♪ once you open the door

♪ see, I was like

all: ♪ oh, yeah, yeah

♪ don'’t get any better ♪

♪ oh, yeah, yeah

♪ wish that this was forever

♪ '’cause your heart calling ♪

♪ feels like confetti falling

♪ down, down, down

- ♪ and everybody'’sgonna make an appearance ♪

♪ even the butterflies came,what a feeling ♪

- ♪ and then bliss camewith mr. First kiss ♪

♪ it was betterthan they ever explained it ♪

all: ♪ oh, yeah, yeah

♪ don'’t get any better ♪

♪ oh, yeah, yeah

♪ wish that this was forever

♪ '’cause your heart calling ♪

♪ feels like confetti falling

♪ oh, yeah, yeah

♪ and it'’s a celebration ♪

♪ feels like a celebration

♪ ooh, whoa-ho

♪ '’cause your heart calling ♪

♪ feels like confetti falling

♪ down, down, down

[confetti launchers blast]

- [spits]

well played.

I'’m sure your lord prankertonwould be proud.

I'’m also surei never want to see confetti

in a big time rush video again.

- Okay.

That just leavesmom and gustavo.

Move out!

- Wasting your time here.

The pranksta-gangstadoes not supply adults.

- You will give us pranks now...

Or you willwash your own clothes,

and I will nevermake you homemade waffles...

Ever!

- You know I love waffles.

- Plastic darts and tubing?

They cleaned me out.

I have nothing left.

- Okay.plan "b."

We surrenderbecause this crown is stupid

and we'’re old.

- I can still doa sky-high split kick.

And we can still win this.

By playing on their weaknesses.

- Sorry, mama knight,

but it'’s over.

- Carlos,

we both know you'’re too niceto pull that trigger.

- I'’m not too nice.

I'’m bad.

And when you and gustavoare out,

I will be king!

- [Sobs]you'’re right.

What was I thinking?

And I can'’t do a sky-highsplit kick anymore.

[Sobbing]

- oh, no.don'’t cry, mama knight.

It'’s okay.

- [Stops crying abruptly]smack!

- Darn it, I am too nice.

- Yes, you are, sweetie.

But we love you for it.

I'’m gonna need that.

- [Sighs]yeah.

- No!

- Ha!i knew you'’d try to protect her.

And now that you'’re out...

[Confetti launcher blasts]

- ah, darn it!

- James, you'’re out...

For me.

- [Sighs]

I know.

I guessi can'’t let anything hurt you.

- Wow.

That'’s the nicest thinganyone'’s ever said to me.

[Confetti launcher blasts]

- lucy'’s out!

- [Spits]

okay.

I'’m gonna go get some water.

- Wait!

But we were having a moment.

Well,

I hope you'’re happy.

- Who'’s left?

Both: well, there'’s you.

- And your mother.

Both: and katie.

- We have you surrounded, mom.

- You can take one of us out,

but the other one will get you,

and the day of prankswill continue.

- So just put downyour confetti launcher,

and we'’ll go easy on you.

- [Sighs]

fine.

But I taught you guys to alwaysfinish what you started.

So you might as wellboth take me out.

- Uh, okay.

- On three.

- This is intense.

- Very exciting.

- One.

- Two.

Both: three.

[Confetti launchers blast]

[both cheer]

- told you I could still doa sky-high split kick.

- In celebrationof your valiant victory...

- And for uniting the crown...

Both: we now pronounce you

the new sir high lordqueen of pranks.

[Cheers and applause]

- as your reigning queen,

I will now decide the fateof ye day of pranks.

- Which I'’m gonna miss.

- Hey, it was funwhile it lasted.

- So long, lord prankerton.

- My decision on this is final.

Ding!

See you next year.

[Cheers and applause]

[confetti launchers blast,pop music blares]

♪

- What'’s that?

What'’s going on?

What'’s their party?

Oh, would someone please tell me

what'’s written on my butt?

Smack![Yelps]

what does it say on my butt?

- ♪ Down, down, down

- ♪ step it up,get in gear ♪

♪ go for broke,make it clear ♪

- ♪ got to go big time

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ make it work,get it right ♪

♪ change the world overnight

- ♪ got to dream big time

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ give it all you got now

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ isn'’t it a rush ♪

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luckwith the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all,lay it on the line ♪

♪ it'’s the only life you gotso you got to live it big time ♪