04x08 - Big Time Rides

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Big Time Rush". Aired November 2009 - July 2013.*
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A look at life for the members of a boy band who are trying to make it big in the music industry.
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04x08 - Big Time Rides

Post by bunniefuu »

[Indistinct chatter]

- don't eat the cerealout of the box.

- It's soy milk.

- [Gasps]

whoa.

Cool motorcycle for sale.

- The good boy in me says,"look away,"

but the bad boy in me says,"hello."

- You know what?

I bet if we all pitched in,

we could buy it

and have the big-time rideof our lives.

[Angelic harp music]

[lively rock music]

[bluesy rock music]

[jazzy disco music]

[thumping dance music]

[lively rock music]

- are you out of your mind?

If I ever see any of you

even think about gettinga motorcycle, I will...

[Screaming]

[all screaming]

- ♪ make it count,play it straight ♪

♪ don't look back,don't hesitate ♪

- ♪ when you go big time

- ♪ what you want,what you feel ♪

♪ never quitand make it real ♪

- ♪ when you roll big time

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ listen to your heart now

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ don't you feel the rush

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luck

♪ with the life you choose

♪ if you want it all,lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you gotso you got to live it big time ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- ah!

- And the mama's boy in me says,

"run!"

- And you...

Put the helmet back.

- James?

Did you get a motorcycle?

- I, uh...

- I love motorcycles.

And that is one k*ller bike.

- Yep.

It's my hog.

- Huh.

I never pegged youfor the biker type.

I guess there is more tojames diamond than I thought.

- [Laughing]oh, yeah.

We are gonna buythe cool motorcycle.

- Sorry, b.b.

You guys are too late.

Hi, this is james diamond.

Yes, I'd like to buy your hog.

- Okay, mom said for us to putall the groceries away.

And then--[door slams]

you will pay for that!

- Hey.i need your help.

- Anything you want,you got it.

- I need you to teach mehow to drive a stick shift

for my role in the danica patrick movie.

I play a young danicabefore she does bad commercials.

- Oh.cool.

No.- Why not?

- Because every time we tryand teach each other something,

we end up fighting.

A lot.

- No, we don't.

Ow!it's just over and under.

- This is so stupid.- Over and under!

- Men aren't supposedto braid hair anyway!

- Ow!

Well, that's not gonna happenthis time because...

It won't.

- Besides, the only car I knowthat has a stick shift

is gustavo's.

And if we so much as geta scratch on it,

he would k*ll me.

- Well, I want to do thisrace car movie

because I'm sick of doingzombie movies,

and you're my boyfriend!

- I won't do it.

- [Vocalizing]

[spy music]



- Hey,did you overnight rush ship

a huge package from minnesota?

- No!

- Well, according to this,

you signed and paid $for it.

- Mcconaughey!

An old red wagon?

Who did this?

Both:wagonie!

- Wait--did you guys forgegustavo's signature

and use the studio'sshipping number for this stuff?

- No.yes.

- What?

- Logan's mom said that she wasgonna throw his old wagon out,

and I said that that was likethrowing out

our greatest memories.

- Ooh, like that one time webroke our arms

on broken arm hill.

- And the one time that we bothgot mild concussions

on mild concussion curve.

- Yeah, and don't forget whathappened on butt-chapped--

- we get it.

- And we're gonna restorethis once-proud monster

of the midwest

and take it for one moreglorious ride.

Whoo.

- Wrong!

Because you're notin fifth grade anymore.

You're in a huge pop band.

Now get this red piece of junkout of my studio,

warm up your voices,

and get in the booth!

- We want to fix up wagonie.

- Out!

- Okay.

[Somber music]



[Upbeat rock music]



[Bluesy rock music]



- Oh, tell me you didn't buythat motorcycle.

- Lucy's into it.

- Super bad idea.

Mom is ballistic aboutmotorcycles,

and this is gonna endso badly.

I literally can't even imaginehow badly this is gonna end.

- No.

This is gonna end with lucygiving me bike kisses.

Hide.

- Wow.that is some suit.

- Yeah, well,this is some bike.

Hey, we should go for a ridesometime.

- How about when I get back?

- Seriously you will?

I mean, uh--[clears throat]

cool.

- I'll be back around :.

- Starting a relationship withlies is never a good idea.

- No lies.pre-truths.

- Pre-what?

- I told lucy the bike was mine,when it wasn't,

then I bought it.

Pre-truth.

- And what about that goingfor a ride lie,

because you've never riddena motorcycle.

- ♪ Pre-truth

because we have two hoursto learn.

[Upbeat rock music]

- keep the bike balanced

while placing the kickstandin the ride position.

- Whoa!

- Ignition.

- Doesn't the car need to be on?

- No, because we are goingto practice

using the stick shift so you geta feel for the gears

and so you don't get a scratchon gustavo's car.

- Well, aren't you the smartdriving instructor.

- Okay, so first,second,

third,fourth,

and up and over for reverse.

- I like this driving lesson.

We get to hold handsand not one fight.

- We make a great couple.

[Tires screeching]use the clutch, not the brake!

- I am using the clutch!- Now the brake!

I also stole gustavo's carfor you!

- Stop yelling!- Don't rev the engine.

You know what?just go forward.

- Do you care about meor gustavo's car?

- Kelly!

Have you seen my keys?

[Tool motors grinding]

- I'm afraid to go in there.

[Tools grinding and revving]

- whoo-hoo-hoo.

Cool noise, right?

- What is this?

- It's a wagonie restoringsuper shop.

- I said no wagons!

- Gustavo,as logan and I

face the responsibilityand maturity of adulthood,

we've decided we don't want to.

- This is more than a red wagon.

It's a--

a time machine

to take us back to the year-and-fun.

Whoo!

- Okay, tell me the studiodidn't pay for all of this too.

- It didn't.- But it did.

- Well, if rocque records paidfor all of this,

then gustavo rocque owns that,

and I'm taking it away.

- But--- come on, really?

- Careful.

Well, there she goes.

- The last piece of our innocentyet dangerous childhood.

- Now to second.- You're doing it again.

Yelling at me doesn't help.

You yell at me all the time.

You're gonna make me crash!

We are a terrible couple.

- No, we're not.

We just, you know, fight

a lot.

- Well, it hasn't beena smooth ride lately,

and we're kind of stalled.

- And maybe we're feeling...

Neutral about things.

- So should we break up?

- I don't know.should we break up?

- But don't you feel like

sometimes we'removing backwards?

- We're not moving backwards.

We're just...

We're moving backwards.

We're moving backwards.

- The wheel is locked.

- Start the car.start the car.

Start the car.

- I'm trying to start the car.

Where is the emergency brake?

- You're gonna hit a pole!

We're gonna scratchgustavo's car!

Pull the brake up!

- I'm trying to brake up!

- We got to brake up!

[Tires squeal]

I think we just broke up.

- How to brake.

[Cat yelps]

- think I'm gettingthe hang of it.

- So I've been trying to imaginehow this thing ends,

and here's what I got.

Lucy gets on the bike,you admit you can't ride,

she laughs,doesn't kiss you,

and then my mom kills youfor buying a motorcycle.

Or you actually go for a ride,you crash,

she slaps you for lying,

while on the ground badgersarrive and eat your jacket,

and then my mom kills youfor buying a motorcycle.

- Not lying,pre-truths,

because I still have timeto learn.

- Wrong again, because it's beentwo hours,

and here comes lucy.

- Wait. What?

- Hey.

I'm ready for that ride.

- Hey.yeah, about that ride...

- Let's go.

- Okay.

[Engine turns over]

let's go!

[Engine revving]

- well, are we going or not?

- Uh, yeah--yeah--no, we're going.

I just--i need to checkthe thing and, uh...

[Engine revs]

- james!

Those motorcycle partsyou ordered just came.

You know, the onesto bore the heads

and increase the air fuel mixfor max hog power?

- Oh, right!

[Engine stops]

those parts.

- Oh.what's going on?

- Sorry, lady leather,but you know us bikers--

always customizing.

So I suggest you waiton that ride.

So instead of . Seconds,

I can take you from zeroto thrill in ..

- A man who's good with tools.

Okay, mr. Diamond.

I will wait for that ride.

- Whoo!

Good thing I orderedthose parts.

- It's empty, genius.

- Right.

Hey, thanks for saving me.

- I didn't save you.i saved her.

And everyone else out therefrom you.

And I figured out howthis is gonna end.

You tell lucy you had to sellthe bike

because mom would k*ll you

if she found outyou bought a motorcycle.

- Fine.i'll sell the bike.

Pre-truth.

- So this is what it's liketo be just friends.

- Yeah, it's a little weird.

Oh, so what about that moviewe're supposed to go to

tomorrow night?

- Uh, well, peoplewho are just friends

go see movies together.

How about we orderseparate popcorn?

- And I'll pay for my ticket.

- You know what?

This might be the best breakupever.

- You know what elsejust friends do?

- What?

- Teach each other how to drivea stick shift

so one can get a movie rolethat's not a teen zombie movie.

- Of course.

And since we don't have all thatboyfriend/girlfriend pressure,

we won't fight.

- No fighting.

- Told you so!

- Doesn't help me when you yell!

- Stop the car!- Stop it!

It stopped.- Just do it.

- And it's going!

You're the worst just friendever!

- Ah!

- Okay, after the b*at,

I need you guys to give mea "yeah!"

[Metronome clicking]

both:yeah.

- Okay, like it or not,

you are professionals,

and you have a job.

And instead of refinishingan old red wagon,

we need to finish this albumand get ready to go on tour

all summer long.

Got it?

- We got it.we got it.

- Count us down.we'll get it this time.

- All right, let's try somethingdifferent.

After the b*at,i'll go to the basement,

you'll get me some coverallstoo,

and together we'll fix upyour stupid wagonie.

[Metronome clicking]

both:yeah!

- Yeah, somehow I imagined thisending way worse than this.

- If you've got that"for sale" sign,

don't even bringing it out,missy,

because this biker boy--

ow!

Well, there goes my only sh*t

at getting a date with lucy.

- If she dates you,it should be the real james--

who can be amazing,by the way.

Not the lying biker jameswho's a danger to society.

- [Humming]

ooh!

Are you selling the motorcycle?

- Yes.

- Give us a sec to get some cashfrom the atm.

And by atm, I meanthe coin-filled pillowcase

under my hammock.

- Oh.hey, james.

So I was thinking aboutthat ride.

- Hey, lucy, about that ride...

- Instead of just goingfor a ride,

maybe you could, I don't know,take me on a date on it.

- A date?

- Yeah.

You can drive me on the bike.

Meet you at your place at :?

- Oh, I'll be there.

I can feel you glaring at me,

and it's not helping.

- [Grunting]

there you go.one motorcycle please.

- The bike isn't for saleanymore.

- Why, this wagon could bedyno-mite.

[Brassy musical flourish]

out of sight.

[Brassy musical flourish]

make you feel all right.

[Brassy musical flourish]

both:why, it's wagon lightning.

[Together]♪ oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ oh, oh, oh

- you guys have no idea how allof this stuff works, do you?

- Nope.- Got any suggestions?

[Tools grinding and revving]

[fanfare]

[together]we did it!

Yeah!

- No, I did it.

You idiots have been singingfor the last two hours.

- Never mind that,because it's time

to take the ride of our lives.

- And all it's missingis a dangerous hill.

- But we're in the heart of l.a.

Where are we gonna finda hill?

- Down shift on the hill.

- What's down shifting?

It doesn't help mewhen you yell!

- Pull along the big pole!

- Oh, that pole.

- You're gonna scratchgustavo's car.

- Oh, there's a pole there.ah!

- [Chuckles]

- you know, the more I thinkabout it,

the more this script stinks.

- Do the zombie movie.

Zombies don't drive stick.

They eat them.

- [Laughs]

- hey, um, can I talk to youabout something?

You know, as a friend?

- Sure.what's up, friend?

- Well, I dated this girl once,

and we broke up,

but I still like her.

- Oh, that's a tough one.

Well, as your friend,

I'd say it was a real stupidmove letting each other go,

and you should maybe go back outwith her.

[Sentimental pop music]



- Hey, what do you say we getout of here

and go on a little "we're backtogether" milkshake date?

- I say, "let's go."

[Engine turns over]

- hey, you're doing it.you're driving a stick!

- And not a scratch on it.

- We should break up more often!

- No!

[Knock on door]

- hey, mrs. Knight.i'm here to meet james.

- Oh.

- They're going on a date.

Their first date.

- Well, come in.

Although I'm not really surewhere he is right now.

- Oh, I'm sure he's justa little nervous

but getting ready to getthe big night in gear.

- All right, diamond,you got this.

Just, you know, drive aroundthe parking lot a couple times

and then pick up lucy.

Okay.

[Engine revving]

now to put it in gear...

- [Screams]

- :,right on time.

- Yeah, the date's off.

- I knew I couldn't haveimagined

how bad this is gonna end.

I mean, who couldhave predicted this?

We must have gone up, what,two flights of stairs

to pull this off?

- I'm gonna k*ll him!

- This is not a hill;it's a parking garage.

- It's an l.a. Hill.now push.

- No!

There is no way you will makethat turn.

- Oh, you mean the parking lotlamp pole pass?

- Besides,crashing is the best park.

- Okay, one last ride,

and then we are going backin the recording studio.

- You know, we'd get therea lot faster if you...

Both:give us a push!

- Fine.

- Carlitos, you ready?- Yeah!

- Three, two, one.

Both:blast off!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[Both yelling]

- oh!

- Turn! Turn!next turn!

Whoo!

- We didn't crash!

Whoo!

Crash!

Both:what was that?

- [Coughing]

[coughing]

- hey, it's wagonie.

Both:whoo-hoo!

- Is that my car?

- No.

Yes.

See you later.

- I hate you dogs!

[Both laughing]

- not a scratch.

- Nope.

- Ahh!

- You're gonna pull a muscle.

I'm running all the way backto the palmwoods.

- Get back here!- Stay back!

I have to end the show!

Sorry we hit youand crushed wagonie.

- Don't be sorry.

It was the greatest crashof our lives.

- Wagonie would have wantedto go out that way.

- And it looks like jameshad an interesting ride.

- Don't worry.

Maintenance will be up shortly.

- Hey, so what did you end updoing with that motorcycle?

- I made him sell it.

[Together]to who?

[Upbeat rock music]



- ♪ Ah, ah, ah-ah, oh

- ♪ step it up,get in gear ♪

♪ go for broke,make it clear ♪

- ♪ got to go big time

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ make it work,get it right ♪

♪ change the world overnight

- ♪ got to dream big time

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ give it all you got now

- ♪ hey, hey

- ♪ isn't it a rush

- ♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ oh-oh, oh-oh

- ♪ go and shake it up

♪ whatcha gotta lose

♪ go and make your luckwith the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all,lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you gotso you got to live it big time ♪
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