03x06 - Daniel Darko

[bunniefuu]

[ominous music]

♪

- Mia!

Where'’s Emma?

So are we gonna crank up this party or what?

Come on.

[upbeat music]

♪

- What, it'’s an improvement, don'’t you think?

- Andi, you shouldn'’t.

- Oh, come on.

I mean, after everything she put you through this summer.

[imitating Maddie] "This movie is too cold.

"Too hot, too cold, and too hot.

Emma'’s being mean to me, Proxy!"

- But if Maddie sees that, she'’s gonna--

MADDIE: Aah!

Proxy!

- Hey... [both giggle]

Have you seen Daniel?

- Yeah, actually I think I saw him go down to the beach.

- There he is! Uh, Danny.

- Oh, holding Mia'’s hand.

No, that'’s not Daniel.

That--that'’s just some other guy that looks just like him

and is wearing the same clothes.

- Danny, Danny? - The likeness is incredible.

- What?

- What do you mean "what?"

You told me you had a surprise for me and then...

This?

- Yeah, well, uh, surprise.

- What? [scoffs]

Why are you acting like this?

- Do you need me to spellit out for you?

You get it? "Spell"?

We'’re through.

- What are you talking about?

- Oh, don'’t act so sad.

It'’s not like you don'’t have another boyfriend

waiting in the wings.

- Daniel, can we go talk about this in private?

- This is Miss Information,

reporting live from the never-ending summer party,

where one relationship appears to be,

in fact, ending.

- Gigi, can you give us a minute?

- Uh, no.

Now, Daniel, tell us, what is going on?

- Not much, Geeg.

I'’m just, uh, getting psyched for this awesome performance

I'’m gonna do for--

well, let'’s just say a very special girl.

- Is it me?

Did you write it for me?

O.M. Gigi! I think it'’s for me!

Wait!

Now, Emma, tell us, why is-- - All right, that'’s it!

You'’re going off the air. - You know what--

[upbeat pop music]

WOMAN: ♪ I cast a spell

♪ It takes a hold of you

♪ I see my dreams

♪ And they'’re all coming true ♪

♪ Come on

♪ Let'’s go ♪

♪ You and me together

♪ Look up ahead

♪ There'’s a magical adventure ♪

♪ Every witch way

♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

♪ I'’m trying every witch way ♪

♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

♪ I'’m going every witch way ♪

♪ Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

♪ Every witch way

[electronic music playing]

- Yo, DJ, k*ll that music.

What'’s up, Miami?

[cheers and applause]

What is this, Florida or Bore-ida? Ha!

Come on, kick it.

- So much for gas.

[cheers and applause]

[light pop music playing]

♪

- ♪ Some people say that the moment is gone ♪

♪ And then they tell you that it'’s time to move on ♪

- Not a bad song.

It'’s got a good b*at.

- Yeah.

- Too bad this concert'’s about to get rained out.

- ♪ '’Cause we got magic that just won'’t go away ♪

♪ And we may be a hundred worlds apart ♪

♪ But that won'’t keep me from your heart ♪

♪ You can'’t fight the rain when it'’s already... ♪

- What'’s wrong with Daniel?

- What do you mean?

Doesn'’t he look...

off to you?

- He looks exactly like I do when I sing in the shower.

- What is he doing?

- I...

I have no idea.

- Are you okay?

I...

- What'’s gotten into him?

- ♪ Some people...

- He'’s not worth it.

- Jax, wait!

What are you gonna do?

- I'’m gonna teach him a lesson.

- No, wait.

Andi, help.

- Yeah.

So, um, what MMA moves do you know?

Can you do a Japanese Backpack?

- Andi!

- ♪ And we may be a hundred worlds apart ♪

♪ But that won'’t keep me from your heart ♪

♪ You can'’t find... ♪

- What in the world is he doing?

- Ooh, ooh, I know this one.

Singing.

KATIE: Did you do something to him,

like cast a spell or something?

MADDIE: Why would I?

He must'’ve realized Emma'’s no good for him all on his own.

- Maddie! - What?

Her waitressing skills alone are breakup-worthy.

- This is just so...

un-Daniel-like.

- He'’s not acting thatstrange.

♪

- ♪ It'’s always you... ♪

- Okay, I take that back.

- ♪ It'’s always you ♪

♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ You can'’t fight the rain ♪

♪ When it'’s already falling ♪

♪ You can'’t hide the truth from yourself ♪

♪ When you'’re calling ♪

[hissing]

- [laughing]

- You'’ll pay for this!

- ♪ You can'’t fight the rain when it'’s already falling ♪

♪ You can'’t hide the truth... ♪

- So much for us being heroes.

- We better get out of here

before someone blames the prank--

- Hey, look what I found.

Do you think it-- DIEGO: T!

- Oh.

- You guys think this is funny?

You'’ve ruined the party...

and Maddie'’s hair.

- It wasn'’t us.

We swear.

- Yeah, it wasn'’t us.

We came here to stop it.

- Then what do you call that?

- Really bad timing?

- ♪ When it'’s already falling ♪

♪ You can'’t hide the truth from yourself ♪

♪ When you'’re calling ♪

♪ No one can erase

♪ This will always be drawing

♪ You closer, closer

♪ Whatever I do

- Don'’t worry, fearless Miss Informationers.

I'’m back.

Back to our developing story-- From D-Emma to Da-Mia.

Mi-Aniel?

Which do you like better?

Log on to iridiumhigh.com to let me know.

And now, Emma, did you see it coming?

- Gigi, leave her alone.

- You know what, Andi?

It'’s not my fault that Daniel and I are...

an item.

I love you.

[crowd cheering]

- Em...

- I don'’t understand how he could do this.

We were fine.

More than fine-- we were great.

And then all of a sudden...

It was you, wasn'’t it?

You put a spell on him.

- What? No, I--

- Yeah, the second you get your powers back,

Daniel suddenly starts acting crazy.

- Emma, I wouldn'’t do that to you.

The old me, maybe,

but the new-and-improved me wouldn'’t.

Say the word, though,

and I'’ll turn him into a slug.

I'’ll pour salt on him

and watch him turn into a leathery morsel.

[slurping]

That'’s it.

Come on, let'’s go do something fun.

- Thanks, but...

I just want to curl up under a blanket

with a cup of hot cocoa.

[sentimental music]

♪

- Done.

♪

[knock at door]

- [sighs]

Hi.

[clears throat] You'’re here early.

- Yeah, well, I figured you could use the moral support

before facing...

you-know-who at school.

- Thanks.

- Plus, I knew you'’d be awake.

The Alonso first-day-of-school tradition.

- Ahh...

I love the smell of fresh pencils in the morning.

Ooh...

[sniffing]

Ahh.

- Nerdiest tradition ever.

- You kids want a ride to school?

- No, thanks, Dad.

- Oh, I get it.

It'’s not cool for you kids

to be seen with the parents, huh?

It'’s not good for your swag?

- Yeah, that'’s how we say it.

- Uh, we want to get to school early.

I want to...

sign up for some clubs.

You know how fast they fill up, and I love clubs.

- You do? - That'’s great, honey.

Hey, don'’t forget to sign up for my Alge-brainiacs Club.

It'’s gonna be so much fun this year.

We'’re gonna do quadratic equations

and polynomial division

and parametrics and fractional decomposition

and logarithmic functions!

It'’s gonna be so much fun.

Sign up.

- Tell your dad I can'’t join his club.

I already signed up

for the Gouging My Own Eyes Out Club.

- [chuckles] Come on, let'’s go.

I want to get the Spell-O-Vision goggles

and figure out what kind of spell Daniel'’s under.

- All right.

- How about the old lockers-full-of-cement prank?

- Not bad.

But for the HO, we need to think bigger!

- What about "the mice ate my homework

and now they'’re loose all over the school"?

- Now you'’re talking.

- I'’ll get in touch with my pet-store contact.

- Hey, Daniel.

- Is that all you have to say?

- [Irish accent] Top of the morning to ya.

- [sarcastically] Ha ha. Very funny.

I want to talk to you about the prank you pulled last night.

- That wasn'’t us.

- Of course not.

[upbeat music]

♪

[knock at door]

- The new-and-improved Jax Novoa

reporting for check-in with my new Guardian.

- Hi, Jax. Come on in.

- Whoa, is that a spell scanner?

I'’ve had a lot of good times with one of those things.

- You did?

- Oh, well, yeah, the old me did.

- Well, the new you is going to be scanned frequently

for spell residue.

Oh, what'’s the point of giving me my powers

if I can'’t even use them?

- Settle down, Jax.

You'’re allowed to use them,

just not, you know, overuse them.

And just to make sure,

I need you to come by at the beginning

and at the end of the school day for a scan.

- Twice a day?

Doesn'’t that seem a bit excessive?

- Not for someone who tried to destroy the Realm.

- Right, yeah, of course. [chuckles awkwardly]

- Okay.

Now cast a simple spell

so that I can calibrate the scanner

to recognize your spell stream.

- Okay.

Lilies for Lily.

- Uh, actually...

[sneezing]

I'’m allergic to lilies.

- Hey, everybody.

Miss Information here

on the first day of what promises to be

an extra-juicy school year.

There'’s Mia.

She'’s the new girl who'’s trying to make a play on my guy...

The super-cool and totally handsome arm candy--

Daniel Miller.

- Hey, welcome to Iridium High.

Guess you met Miss Information.

- Hi, Daniel.

- So what do you think so far?

- Hallways, lockers-- whatever.

Is the main office around here someplace?

I'’m supposed to get my classes and locker assignment.

- Don'’t worry about your locker.

I'’ll take care of it.

- Oh... hi, Daniel. - Get lost.

Bye, Daniel.

Best locker in school-- right next to mine.

- [gasps]

- Mommy.

- Try to remember to be more responsible

with your powers.

They'’re not just for buttering up your Guardian

with flowers.

- [chuckles] Will do.

So daisies next time?

Just kidding. [chuckles]

- Well, look who it is.

- What do you want?

- Nothing.

But you can have what you want-- my girlfriend.

Wait, wait, wait, my ex-girlfriend.

Now all you witches can have your little witch party.

- Wizards.

- Wizards, witches, trolls, elves--

you'’re all the same.

Lame.

- Look, I don'’t know what your problem is,

but you better back off.

- Oh, yeah?

Now that you have your powers back,

you think you scare me?

- [chuckles]

I never needed my powers to scare you.

- Is that so?

Well, why don'’t you try me?

- I don'’t want to fight you in school.

- Yeah, yeah, '’cause you'’re too chicken.

Or should I say "too koala"?

- Koalas are the kings of the Australian forest.

So, yeah, I'’m totally koala.

We'’ll continue this later...

outside of school.

- I knew you'’d try to run.

Good thing the T has a big supply

of super bonding glue.

[chuckles]

- Real funny.

You owe me a new pair of boots.

- Yeah, well...

have fun trying get out of those.

What did you do? - [chuckles]

Payback'’s a wizard.

- That doesn'’t even make any sense!

[bucket clatters]

[both grunting]

- All right, all right, break it up, break it up!

Hey, enough, enough!

You two, to my office right now.

- I can'’t.

- Me neither.

- Why not?

Really? Glue?

[sighs] Fantastic.

You'’ve both earned two days in detention.

Now take those shoes off.

Now.

[upbeat music]

♪

[school bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey. - Got '’em?

- Yeah, but, uh, you know, be careful.

They'’re a tad bit wet.

[quirky music]

♪

What?

Look, I needed them for swim practice.

Someone put way too much chlorine in the pool.

- Come on, let'’s go find Daniel.

- This is a Miss Information breaking-news report.

Rumor has it that Daniel Miller and Jax Novoa

had a major beef in this very hallway.

Let'’s see if we can find any witnesses

to confirm the story.

Oh.

here'’s Maddie Van Pelt,

Daniel Miller'’s former on-again, off-again girlfriend.

Maddie, what can you tell us about the fight

between Daniel and Jax?

- [sighs]

- There ya have it.

Confirmation of the story from a reliable source.

It'’s time for a Miss Information viewer poll.

Whose side are you on--

original bad-boy Jax Novoa

or bad-boy newbie,

super-steamy, singing sensation Daniel Miller?

[sighs]

Let us know.

- [sighs] I'’m so hungry, Daniel.

Are you gonna make me wait in that long line?

- No way.

[clears throat]

- Hi, Daniel.

Bye, Daniel.

- [clears throat]

Are you ready for some award-winning food?

Because if you are, you'’re in the wrong place.

That'’s fine.

I brought my own.

[whispering] There he is...

with her.

- Oh, that'’s Mia. - I know who it is.

[mischievous music]

- Well, do you see the spell?

♪

- No. - What?

It'’s got to be there. Let me see those.

Look, maybe they need new batteries.

- What? Those are made by witches.

They don'’t use batteries.

Well, there'’s got to be something wrong with them.

- Okay, um, l-let'’s test it out.

Uh, cast a spell.

[serious music]

- They work just fine.

- So that means...

- Daniel doesn'’t love me anymore.

For real.

♪

- Hey, guys, how was the first day of school?

- Only more till the next summer.

- Third grade'’s gonna be the end of me.

- Call the cops.

We'’ve been robbed!

- Did you see anybody?

- Can you describe the thieves?

Tommy, grab your sketch pad.

- Settle down.

No one has been robbed.

- Where'’s our stuff?

- I donated it to charity.

- Well, some of it to the m*llitary,

like your rocket fuel.

- Why?

- Your little practical jokes

were cute when they started,

but they have gotten completely out of control, okay?

The foam drop at Daniel'’s play,

the anchovy spaghetti on Diego'’s father,

and the sprinklers at The Beachside Seven--

those were the last straw.

ALL: That wasn'’t us!

- Oh, yes.

I have heard that before.

The strawberry pudding palm that exploded at the bar?

- That was a good one.

- Enough is enough.

I am sorry, but you are going to have to find

a new hobby.

- [crying] No!

- Tommy!

- A new hobby?

Like what?

- Like revenge...

on the HO.

- [sneezes]

- Something the matter, Mr. Novoa?

- No.

[clears throat]

- [snoring loudly]

- [sighs] Mr. Miller.

Mr. Miller! - [grunts]

- I'’m--I'’m sorry. Sorry.

- You can'’t sleep here.

This is a school, not a hotel.

Take your shoes and go to the restroom

and splash some water on your face.

- Sweet!

- You better be right back, Daniel.

- Yeah, right, back, sure, peace.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hey!

Where'’s your hall pass, young lady?

- I don'’t need one.

School'’s over, and I'’m not in detention,

like you.

- Well, I ditched detention,

and I'’m headed to The Seven...

with you.

- All right. Sounds like a plan.

So...

no detention?

- Uh, k*ller Miller doesn'’t do detention.

- Okay, k*ller Miller...

you'’re on.

Hey, don'’t you have a swim meet later?

- I'’ve been carrying that team for so long.

They should share the load for once.

Hey, um, I'’ll be right back for a second,

so hold this.

[ominous music]

♪

- "Emma, need to talk.

Meet me at The Seven."

♪

[door opens]

- Ready to roll? - Always.

- I never knew having a girlfriend

could be thismuch fun.

- What kind of girls have you been dating--

total losers?

- Well, there was Emma.

- Oh, yeah.

I know.

Snooze fest.

- And then there was Maddie--

- Wait.

You dated Maddie and Emma?

[scoffs] They don'’t seem your type at all.

What did they do, cast a spell on you or something?

- Actually, can you keep a secret?

- Sure.

- What do I care if it'’s a secret or not?

Emma and Maddie are both witch--

- Daniel!

- What are you doing here?

Are you stalking me?

♪

[upbeat pop music]

♪