04x22 - Lifesavers

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you got ♪

♪ Not a lot ♪

♪ So what? ♪

♪ They'll have theirs
and you'll have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪

Willis: excuse me.

I saw your "help
wanted" sign outside.

Is the job filled yet?

Not yet.

Well, you can stop looking,

'Cause here's your man.

I mean him, not me.

He's saving up to buy a car.

I don't need a
car. I'm too young.

Besides, it'll be a few years
before my feet reach the pedals.

Arnold, he's not
interested in your life story.

I really want that job.

Is the boss around?

I'm the boss. Mr. Kruger.

You look like a boss,

And you're built like one, too.

Your stomach shows
a lot of authority.

Cool it, arnold.

I'm a real good
worker, mr. Kruger.

I'm honest and reliable.

And I can vouch for that.

Who are you, his agent?

I'm his brother!

Any experience?

I've been his
brother for years.

I was talking to him.

You ever work in a gas station?

Yeah, once.

Well, look, all I need
is somebody to come in

Three afternoons a week
to give my mechanic a hand

While I go to the gym.

Now the job pays minimum.

Sounds good to me.

Willis, can I talk
to you privately?

Uh, excuse us a second,
mr. Kruger. Excuse us.

Willis, why should
you work for minimum?

Because I don't have
much experience.

Boy, are you dumb.

If you haven't got
that much experience,

The work is harder, so
they should pay you more.

You know, what's
wrong with $ . An hour?

Nothing, but I sure
wouldn't work for minimum.

It is minimum.

Sounds good to me.

Okay, mr. Kruger,

I know I can do a
good job for you.

All right. We'll
give it a whirl.

You can start tomorrow
afternoon after school.

Oh, great. Thanks,
mr. Kruger. You won't be sorry.

You better wear some old
clothes that you can get dirty.

That's no problem.

He has a closet
full of dirty clothes.

Come on, arnold. All right.

Hey, kids, look out! Look out!

[Crash]

Mmm. Adelaide, this corned beef
and cabbage smells fantastic.

Who taught you how
to cook, your mother?

No, my mother was a
really terrible cook.

Hmm. Couldn't boil water, huh?

Oh, she could boil
water, all right...

But she called it soup.

[Sniffs]

[Irish accent] oh, is it
corned beef and cabbage

We're apt to having for dinner
at all, at all, at all, at all?

I can't wait to hear your
accent when I make borscht.

[Regular voice] tell me, did
willis get that job at the garage?

I don't know. He isn't home yet.

But, daddy, don't forget,

You're giving me the
same deal as willis.

Right. After you get
your driver's license,

If you earn the first
thousand dollars,

Then I'll put up the
rest to buy a used car.

When I was your age,

My dad gave me the same
deal on a used horse.

Willis: hey, where is everybody?

In here, willis!

Dad, I did it! I got the
job! I start tomorrow!

Hey, congratulations.
That's wonderful!

That's great.

I can't believe it

You can't believe
willis got the job?

I can't believe what
happened to me.

Well, what happened?

Oh, it was nothing, dad.

Nothing?!

Dad, they were hoisting a piano

Up to the third
floor of a building,

And the cable broke,
and the piano fell down.

It was falling right on me!

Good lord, arnold.
That is awful.

If willis hadn't pushed
me out of the way,

There'd been an extra
black key on that piano.

Willis, I'm proud of you.

Well, I'll only be
getting minimum,

But I'll have that
thousand in about years.

No, I mean I'm proud of you
for saving arnold's life.

Oh, yeah. That, too.

Wills, man, how can
I ever repay you?

If it wasn't for
you, I'd be done for.

Kaput. finito.

I'm talking guest
corpse on quincy.

Forget it, arnold.

No way. I've gotta repay you.

Anything you want,
name it, and I'll do it.

I'll even do it
before you name it.

Arnold, you heard willis.

He doesn't expect
anything in return.

Just like a hero.

Willis, I'm your
servant for life.

Here you go, bro.

I made your favorite sandwich.

Double everything and a lot
of goo so it slides down easy.

Thanks, but am I supposed
to eat it or move into it?

How am I gonna get
my mouth around that?

Make like you're a
python eating a pig.

I got you a present,
mr. Lifesaver.

Arnold, will you
stop calling me that?

And you bought me a present
yesterday and the day before.

I don't want you blowing
your whole allowance on me.

Open it. It's just
a little token.

This is for the subway.

That's what I said,
just a little token.

That's all I could afford.

Listen, arnold, you really
want to do something for me?

That's what I live for.

Stop bothering me,

And quit doing things for me.

Ok.

If that's what you
want, you got it.

But remember, I'm at
your beck and call.

Oh, boy.

Yes?

Arnold! Arnold!

You're putting in
too much chocolate.

Willis is gonna get
pimples just looking at it.

That's the way he likes it.

Did he say to make it that way?

Well, not exactly.

Exactly what did he say?

He said, "get the
heck out of here."

I thought this hot
chocolate would cheer him up.

I don't know why, but
willis has been in a bad mood

Since he saved my life.

I know why.

I'd like to talk
to you about it.

You got a minute?
Can it wait, dad?

I gotta take this hot
chocolate up to willis.

I'll take it, arnold.

Ok, but if it's too hot,

Tell him I'll be right
up to blow on it.

That should make him very happy.

Got a problem I can
help you with, dad?

As a matter of
fact, I do, arnold.

Um, it's about all the things
you've been doing for willis.

See, it isn't that he
doesn't appreciate them,

But he did say that you
are overdoing it just a bit.

He did?

More or less.
Actually, what he said

Was that you're
drivin' him wiggy.

Just 'cause I'm doing things
for him and buying him presents?

Arnold, you gotta
stop doing all this.

You've bought him
a present every day.

And another thing,

He said that if you rub
his back one more time,

You're going to hit bone.

You really are
overdoing it, son.

Okay, arnold.

Okay, what's the big idea?

What? Not enough chocolate?

No, I mean my new shoes.

Look great, don't they?

Like the way I shined them?

Yeah, they look just
fine. What's wrong?

What's wrong is
these black shoes

Used to be brown.

Arnold, how could you do that?

I didn't mean to.

I wanted to surprise willis,
so I shined 'em in the closet

With the door shut.

[Door closes]

Ah!

Hi.

Arnold, what are
you doing in my bunk?

Just warming it up for you.

I didn't want you
to hit cold sheets.

Out.

Arnold, you promised you
were going to knock it off.

But willis...

Arnold, don't bug me tonight.

I want to go to sleep.

Want me to sing you a lullaby?

No.

Want me to rock your bunk?

You do, and I'll
rock your skull.

Where're you going?

To the john. Do you mind?

Not at all.

Yeah?

Can I help?

I'm gonna change.

I should be back from
the gym around : .

Ah, take your time, mr. Kruger.

Gotta keep those old
muscles from saggin'.

Well, now these old
muscles are in better shape

Than the ones in your head.

Hey, that's funny, boss.

Hey, uh, I gotta run across
to the auto parts place.

I'll be right back,
all right? Ok.

Hi, willis.

Arnold, what are you doing here?

I just came by to see if I
could help you with anything.

I brought my skateboard in
case I have to slide under a car.

Well, listen, I don't
need your help.

Now, why don't you get lost?

I mean, you're gonna
spoil the good impression

I'm makin' on my boss.

How could I spoil it?

Hey, maps! Can I have one?

No, arnold!

Arnold, you're gonna
help me right out of a job.

A-are you ok?

Yeah.

I got it.

Lucky thing I'm in
such good shape.

What's that
skateboard doing here?

Get it outta here.

Yes, sir.

This ain't no playpen.

Ohh, man, arnold,

You're gonna get me fired.

I wouldn't do that.

Hey, look who's comin'!

Hey, dad!

Hi, son.

Wow. What a surprise to see you.

Well, I just happened
to be driving by

And, uh, I remembered that
I needed some new blades

For my windshield wipers.

Are you sure you just didn't
come by to check up on me?

Of course I did.

Hey, you look good
in your old clothes.

[Chuckles] how ya doin', son?

Well, I was doin' great
until guess who arrived?

Huh?

Hello, sir.

May I check under your hood?

Arnold, you promised
you wouldn't bother willis.

I'm not bothering him.

I'm helping.

Yeah, he nearly helped
my boss into an ambulance.

May I clean your windshield?

Uh, no, you may not.

It's free.

Philip: arnold!

That's oil!

Oh! Well, maybe now your
windshield wipers won't squeak.

Dad, do I need to
say anything else?

Arnold, I want you to
get right into this car.

But, dad!

I'm going to count to . , ...

Like I was saying, home, dad.

Bye.

[Whispers] oh, boy.

Oh, man, you should
have been here.

Mr. Kruger stepped on my
little brother's skateboard

And landed on his butt.

Just my luck to miss that.

It's not funny.

I saved my little brother's
life, but now I want to k*ll him.

[Door opens]

Hey, uh, you guys got
a phone in this place?

Yeah. Oh, it's over
there on the wall.

Oh, thanks.

Man, I just gotta
figure out a way

To get arnold off my case.

Oh, that's simple.

All you gotta do
is even the score.

What do you mean?

Well, find out where
the hoistin' a piano...

And this time, let him
push you out of the way.

Hey, that's it. That's it.

Ohh, where you gonna
get a piano to fall on ya?

I don't mean the piano.

I mean evening the score.

Letting him save my life.

How you gonna do that?

I don't know.

Hey! Maybe I can
pretend like I'm drowning

And arnold can save me.

That's good.

No, he can't swim.

It's no good.

Listen, this is a
gas station, right?

Right.

And what do they
do at gas stations?

People buy gas.

People also hold
up gas stations,

Like with a g*n.

Are you kiddin', willis?

Not at all, mike.

We're gonna have
us a big holdup.

Aw. Come on,
arnold, snap out of it.

How can i?

Willis is down on me,

Dad's down on me,

Even my goldfish is
looking at me funny.

Oh, come on.

It's true.

He's been giving
me the fish eye.

And all I've been trying
to do is show willis

How much I appreciate him.

Hi, kimberly. Hey, arnold,

How's my favorite
little brother?

You talkin' to me?

Of course I am.

Hey, listen,

I'm sorry I got ticked off
at you down at the garage,

But you know how it is.

I was under pressure.

A new job and everything.

You forgive me, arnie?

Arnie?

You been sniffin'
empty gas cans?

Hey, how would you like to come down
after school tomorrow to the garage

And give me a hand?

Run that by me again.

Run that by me again, too.

No, I really want
you to come down.

That is, if you still want to
help the guy who saved your life.

Do I still want to?

Does orphan annie want eyeballs?

Excuse me, g*ng. I gotta
put these things away.

Adelaide, did you get that
oil out of my work clothes?

Yeah. They're on top
of the washing machine.

Congratulations, arnold.

Your pants made the
guinness book of world filth.

Thanks. I'm gonna try to b*at
my own record tomorrow.

Willis is lettin'
me help him again.

That's cool!

Willis, I don't get it.

You told dad that arnold
was driving you bananas

Down at the gas station.

Yeah, but after tomorrow,

He won't be bugging
me anymore. Why not?

Well, you see, you know,

Mike, the guy that I work
with down at the gas station?

We're gonna fix it so
arnold gets off my case.

Well, how are you gonna do that?

Listen, keep this
under your hat.

You guys'll love it.

You see, arnold never met mike,

So tomorrow, when
our boss is away,

And arnold comes over,

Mike is gonna
stage a fake holdup.

With a real g*n?

No, with a fake g*n,
but it looks real.

You see, mike is
gonna pretend to trip,

And he's gonna drop
the g*n near arnold.

Arnold's gonna pick the g*n up,

And mike is gonna
pretend to panic

And run off.

Then arnold will
think he saved my life,

And we'll be even.

Willis, you're liable to
scare arnold to death.

That is the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.

Dumb? Mike thinks I'm a genius.

Thought you said
mike wasn't too bright.

Well, he wasn't,

But don't forget, he's been
exposed to me for days.

Hey, arnold, I've
got to talk to you.

Can it wait? Willis must
be dirty from all his work,

And I thought I'd
run a bath for him.

Can I borrow some
of your bubble stuff

So he'll smell pretty?

Arnold, you're not gonna
want to run a bath for him

When you hear
what I've got to say.

Now don't you say anything against
the greatest guy that ever lived.

You mean the greatest
creep that ever lived.

Now watch it. That's my
brother you're insulting,

And I'm too much of a
gentleman to bite your knee.

Look, arnold, your
terrific brother

Is gonna play a really
dirty trick on you.

He and a guy named
mike that he works with

Are gonna stage a phony holdup

To make you look like a hero.

Phony holdup?

Why would they do
something like that?

So if you think you
saved willis' life,

Then you guys will be even

And you'll quit bugging him.

Why, that dirty rat fink.

First he saves my life,

And now he's taking all the
fun out of not being dead.

At least you don't have to go
through with it now, arnold.

Are you kidding?

I'm gonna go through
with it, all right.

Only when they
pull that g*n on me,

Willis is in for a surprise.

I'm gonna make hash
out of that turkey.

Hi, adelaide. Hi.

Is willis home yet? No, not yet.

How about arnold?

Is he still sulking?

No. Willis invited him to
come down to the garage.

Didn't kimberly
tell you about that?

About what? Uh-oh.

Come on, adelaide. Out with it.

Well, I realize I'm an
employee here, not family,

And I don't have any right to
butt into other people's business...

'Course, it never
stopped me before.

That's true. Uh, that you
are like one of the family.

Thank you.

But do you think it's all right

For a person to blab
about what another blabber

Was going to tell a
potential blabber?

Could you be a
little more specific?

How does a holdup grab you?

Holdup?

Adelaide, you better
start blabbing.

It looks real, doesn't it?

I'll say.

I'll wait across the street.

I'll give you a few minutes,

And then I'll come over. Ok.

Reach for the sky!

Hi, willis.

Hey, arnold. How's
my little brother?

Boy, I'm glad you
invited me down here.

And I know why you did it.

You do?

Yeah. 'Cause you
love me so much.

Yeah, that's it.

'Cause I love you.

Hey. Hi, kid.

What can I do for you today?

Oh, well, I was just
wondering if, uh...

You could just stick 'em up.

Did you say stick 'em up?

That's right, kid.

I don't feel like
sticking 'em up.

Arnold, the man's got a g*n.

Hey, you understand
english, kid?

This... Is... A... g*n.

Go... Climb... A... Rope.

What is he? A little
slow upstairs?

Arnold, why don't you just
raise your hands and shut up.

Hey, where do you keep the cash?

Oh, well it's uh...
Don't tell him, willis.

This guy can't scare us.

Well, he sure scared half of us.

He's not scaring me.

Go ahead, prune face.

sh**t him right there.
No, don't sh**t me!

Arnold, are you crazy?

I was just going to
ask the same question.

Willis, thanks to you, I'm
living on borrowed time anyway.

I've already faced death.

I've looked into
the eyes of a piano.

I don't believe this.

I'm tired of all the
crime in the streets.

Somebody's got to
stand up to jerks like you.

Hey, who are you calling
a jerk, you little jerk?

Listen, arnold, why don't
you let this brother hold us up

So we don't hold him up

And he can get out of here.

You don't scare me.

You lily-livered,

Yellow-bellied varmint.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

That's it. That does it, kid.

Reach for the sky!

Just kidding, just kidding.

What the hell... What the
hell are you guys doing here?

Hey, aren't you the guy that
came to use the phone yesterday?

Yeah, what about it?

Nothing. You need
some more change?

Get over there.

Do what he says, mike.

Arnold: huh?

he's mike?

he's mike?

Willis, how many guys you
got in on this crazy trick?

I know all about it.

Arnold, this isn't
a part of any trick.

The man's holding a real
g*n with real b*ll*ts.

What you talking about, willis?

All right,

I'm through fooling around.

Somebody empty the cash register

Before I empty this g*n.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself,

A guy your age
pulling a prank like this.

This place is full
of a bunch of nuts.

Dad, you did it. You
saved our lives.

Ok, ok, you can
all knock it off.

Now I know all about the trick.

I'm gonna tell you something.

It's not only dumb,

But it's dangerous
to play with a g*n.

Even if it is a fake.

But, dad... No buts.

Aah!

Now I'm tired of this
nonsense between you two.

Now you're both
even, so it's over.

Do you hear me?

But, dad, that's a real
g*n with real b*ll*ts.

Right.

Dad, you took it out of the
hand of a real holdup man.

You're a hero, mr. Drummond.

I... I don't feel like a hero.

I feel like I need to sit down.

You're not gonna faint
or anything, are you?

He doesn't have to.

You saved our lives.

Dad, I'm gonna wait
on you hand and foot.

Arnold!

Forget it. Forget it.

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪