04x25 - Short But Sweet

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got ♪

♪ A special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you got ♪

♪ Not a lot... So what? ♪

♪ They'll have theirs ♪

♪ And you'll have
yours, and I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪

Morning, everybody.

Hey, good morning.

I just want some
juice, adelaide.

I've got to get to school.

Excited about the
big day, huh, hon?

Yup. Today is the day
that the school cafeteria

Gives you free spaghetti,

If you get the lucky meatball.

That's thrilling, arnold.

But it's not the big day
adelaide was referring to.

No?

Oh! You mean the
big day saturday.

Oh, right! It's my birthday.

I almost forgot.

I must be the only -year-old
kid in town who's senile.

Arnold, how could you forget?

While you were cutting

Your birthday cake last year,

You were already making
plans for the next one.

How many kids are you gonna
have at your party this year?

I don't want a party this year.

You don't want a party?

I'm tired of parties.
That's for kids.

I'm mature now.

Well if you're mature at
your age, I must be dead.

I like having birthday parties.

Well that's different.

After , you're in
your second childhood.

How does the third
childhood grab you?

Well arnold, if you don't
want to have a party,

What do you want to
do for your birthday?

Um, nothing special.

Just take me to some
fancy restaurant in the limo,

Wine and dine me,

Give me some
extravagant presents,

And I'll happy as a clam.

I'll take the same
deal on my birthday,

Only instead of the
clam, throw in diana ross.

Well, arnold, if that's what
you want, it's fine with me,

But I'm really surprised that
you don't want to have a party.

I'm flabbergasted!

My flabber's even
more gasted than yours.

I don't want to
flaunt my wealth,

It wouldn't be right
to throw a big party

While the economy
is in such a recession.

Thank you, elliot janeway.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

You know, when arnold starts
to worry about the economy,

I start to worry about arnold.

I have the feeling
there's something

That he is not telling us.

Yeah. Why would he turn
down a birthday party?

You're not having
a birthday party?

Arnold, you just
ruined my appetite.

In that case, I'll
finish your lunch.

I just got my appetite back.

Well, I'm sorry, dudley,

But there isn't gonna
be a birthday party.

Man, there sure are gonna be a
lot of disappointed kids, arnold.

Your birthday party's the
social event of the year,

Next to the summer
cockroach races at school.

Yeah...

I gave some good
parties, didn't i?

I'll say.

You're the hugh hefner
of the sixth grade.

Remember that
party when I was nine?

Which one was that?

The one right before I was ten.

I meant what
happened at the party?

Oh, we played spin the bottle.

The girls wanted to
kiss but the boys didn't.

So we shook hands instead.

How could we have
been such fools?

What's even dumber,

We did it again the next year.

I don't get it, arnold.

You used to like your parties.

And now you don't
want to have one.

I have my reasons for
not having a party, dudley.

Like what?

Well, I can't tell you.

It's very personal.

Look, I'll make a
trade with you.

If I tell you something
real personal about me,

Then can you tell me?

I guess so.

Ok.

Don't ever mention this,

But one night last week,

I dreamed I was a baby.

I was lying in my crib

Sucking on a pacifier.

When I woke up,

I discovered I wet my bed.

That's not personal enough.

Not personal enough?

Even my mother doesn't know.

I was washing sheets
at : in the morning.

Some friend you are, arnold.

Get yourself
another best friend.

Wait, dudley. I'll tell you.

I don't want to
hear it. It's too late.

But, dudley... Ok.

Why don't you want
to give a party?

[Sighs] well, look at me.

Ok.

What do you see?

I see you.

No, what about me.

You got a new pimple?

I mean besides that.

Look at all of me,
not just my face.

What do you see?

Oh, I get it! You walk funny.

No. I'm short.

You call that a trade?

I tell you I wet the bed,

And you tell me you're short?

Arnold, everybody knows that.

Yeah, especially girls.

That's the problem.

You mean you're not gonna
have another birthday party

Till you're tall?

Nope. Girls don't go for me.

Are you kidding?

You're very popular.

Girls like you.

Not the way I want them to.

They don't take me seriously.

They treat me like a pet.

They pat my head,

Rub my cheeks,

Pull my ears.

They do everything
but throw a stick

And yell "fetch."

Come on, arnold.
You're exaggerating.

No, I'm not.

It was different
when I was younger.

But now that I'm ,

Everybody's got a girl but me.

No girl wants to kiss a guy

Who only comes up
to her training bra.

Even you have a girl, dudley.

What do you mean, even me?

I'm a very charming,
debonair dude.

I'm one of the
most eligible guys

In the sixth grade.

You're also taller than me.

That's why you got
a girl and I don't.

Hi, fellas.

Hi.

Hi, teresa.

Hi, arnold.

You see what I mean?

I'm surprised she didn't
offer me a bowl of kibble.

Are you kidding?

She likes you.

She makes a special
point of coming over.

She gives you a big
smile and a big hello,

And you just sit there

Like the incredible lump.

Don't you like her?

Like her?

When I'm not
dreaming about food,

I dream about her.

But what did you
expect me to do?

Climb up on a
ladder and kiss her?

No, but if you
acted more friendly

And invited her to that party

That you ought to be throwing,

I bet she'd say yes.

No way.

You're just chicken.

Ok, dudley,

I guess I'm gonna
have to show you.

I'm gonna go over
there and ask her

And she's gonna dump all over me

And make me feel like dirt,

And then that'll prove
what a fool you are.

Sounds reasonable.

Hi, billy.

Hi, teresa.

Can I talk to you
for a second? Sure.

Um, well...

Saturday's my birthday,

Not that I'm trying to
hit you up for a present.

Well, congratulations, arnold.

Anyway, I was thinking

Of throwing a party

And if I did,

You probably
wouldn't want to come.

Oh, I'd love to.

I don't blame you for not...

Did you say love to?

I'd like to go very much,
arnold. I'm glad you asked me.

You are?

Well, that's terrific!

It's saturday night
at my penthouse.

Arnold!

Did you change your mind?

No, but what time is the party?

What time would
you like it to be?

How about : ?

You got it. I'll see you.

Dudley, she said yes!

I don't believe it!

I mean, you had me convinced

That you were gonna b*mb.

Well, I didn't

And we're gonna have
the best party I ever gave.

Only this time, we're
not gonna be stupid.

We're gonna shake hands first,

Then play spin the bottle.

Way to go, lover.

Hi, teresa!

Hi, arnold.

I forgot to ask you,

How are you
getting to the party?

I guess my folks will bring me.

I could do better than that.

I'll send my dad's
chauffeured limo for you.

Limo?!

I'm talking long,
black, and paid for.

Oh, I can't believe this.

It's just like in the movies:

A penthouse, a
big party, a limo.

I feel like cinderella.

Yeah?

How would you like
to be cinderella?

What do you mean?

What I mean is I'll make
it a costume party,

And you could
dress like cinderella.

But please, don't think of me

As your fairy godmother.

Arnold, you're too much.

I am?

I always thought
I wasn't enough.

I'll see you.

Billy!

Oh, hi, teresa.

Hey, did you hear about the
big party arnold's throwing?

Yeah, he just invited me.

Me, too. You got a date?

No.

Me neither. Want to go with me?

Oh, that'd be neat.

How would you like us to
be picked up in a limousine?

Limousine? Fantastic!

That's right, dudley.

I got a date with teresa.

I got a date!

I guess she liked
you all the time,

But you just never
made the big move.

Yeah.

Hey, maybe I got
that kind of charm

That sneaks up on women.

But anyway, it looks
like little arnold's

Got himself a big mama.

You sure do.

Dudley, this is gonna be

The biggest night of my life!

Come on!

I'll put these over here.

Great.

Here, adelaide.

Thanks a lot for
helping me, g*ng.

Oh, they are gonna look
so cute in their costumes.

Oh, willis, couldn't we hang
around so we could see them?

No way. Right, dad?

Right. Arnold
gave strict orders.

Anybody over years old
caught in the living room

Gets a nose full of party dip.

But what about you, adelaide?

You're over .

I got a fake i.d.

Arnold gave me a special pass

For serving.

Oh, look at this.

Hi!

Well, how do I look?

Smashing! Great!

I put hairspray on my plume.

Who are you
supposed to be, arnold?

Who else? Prince charming.

Might one ask if
there's a cinderella?

One might ask, but
one ain't gonna see her

Because one ain't gonna be here.

I happen to know

That cinderella's
name is teresa.

Arnold arranged
to have her picked up

In my chauffeur-driven pumpkin.

Willis: oh.

Sounds like we got a hot
romance going on here.

Tell us about her, prince.

Well, I first saw
her last semester.

Our eyes met across
a crowded cafeteria.

I got so excited,

I squeezed my hotdog
right out of the bun.

Boy, she must be
something really special.

Yeah, she is.

But it's not that
she's so beautiful,

You take it one part at a time,

And she's not that great.

But you put her all together,

You got yourself an under
developed miss america.

Arnold, how come
you never mentioned

Your dream girl before now?

I never knew she liked me.

I worshipped her from afar,

But now I'm gonna
worship her from anear.

His highness has just
issued a royal proclamation.

We're all banished
from the living room.

[Doorbell rings]

My first guests! Get banished!

I'm going. Get banished!

I'm going, I'm going,
I'm going, I'm going.

[Doorbell rings]

I'm coming!

Happy birthday,
arnold. Oh, thank you.

Happy birthday,
arnold. Thank you. Hello.

Hi, arnold. Congratulations.

Thank you. Hello, arnold.

Happy birthday.

Haven't you forgotten something?

Oh! Yeah.

Here, arnold.

Aw, you shouldn't have...

But I'm glad you did.

When do we eat?

Food's on the table.

Everybody, start piggin' out!

What are you
supposed to be, arnold?

Prince charming. Who are you?

President reagan.

President reagan?

Yeah, in his movie,
cattle queen of montana.

I was lucky. I missed that one.

[Doorbell rings]

Have some food, dudley.

Ok.

Happy birthday, arnold.

You're wearing my costume.

You mean, you're wearing mine.

Well...

It's a coincidence
that a prince charming

Meets a cinderella
in the elevator

Going to the same party.

It's not a coincidence, arnold.

We came together
in your limousine.

Billy's my date.

What you talkin' about, teresa?

Well, I didn't have a date,
and billy was coming, too,

So we came together.

Oh.

That worked out
great, didn't it?

Well, enjoy yourselves.

Uh... Excuse me. I have
to go to the kitchen...

To k*ll myself.

We're on our way, dad.

Ok, enjoy the movie.

Have fun, kids.

Hey, arnold, how's the party
goin'? You havin' a good time?

Send everybody home.

What... What do you mean?

This party is canceled.

But it just started!

What are you talking about?

You know that girl
I'm so crazy about?

Well, what about her?

I hate her.

What happened, arnold?

Billy came with
teresa. He's her date.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

I thought that
you were her date.

So did i.

I'd like to give cinderella a
sh*t with her glass slipper.

I better get in there
and let your guests in.

How could she do this to me?

Look, little brother.

There's only one way
to handle a woman.

You gotta let them
know who's boss.

Oh, is that right?

Charlene, I didn't mean
like with you and me.

Keep talking, willis,

You're only in it
up to your eyeballs.

Nothing's going to help.

I'm a rejected man.

And on top of everything else,

Billy's got a prince
charming outfit.

And his plume's
bigger than mine.

Arnold, I think maybe
you gave up too soon.

Never judge a man by his plume.

Look, little brother,
you want to win teresa?

Well, here's what you do.

You just slide up to her
real cool, and you say,

Here's what's goin' down, baby:

You only have eyes for me
because I'm your fella, cinderella.

Willis, you're so full of bull.

You never came
on to me like that.

But what I liked about you was
that you were just the opposite.

You were sweet
and kind and gentle.

Charlene, let's get out of here

Before you ruin my reputation.

Can I go with you?
Mine's already ruined.

Hey, I'm sorry this
happened, arnold.

But tell me something.

If teresa had a date with you,

Why would she
bring somebody else?

'Cause she's a
bigamist, that's why.

Are you sure there hasn't been
some kind of a misunderstanding here?

No. I personally
asked her to come over,

And she leaned right down
and said yes to my face.

And did you make
it perfectly clear

That you were asking her to be your
date at your party, not just a guest?

Run that by me again.

See, arnold, I
think it's possible

That she didn't know that
she was gonna be your date.

You know, you're right, dad.

When I asked her, I was nervous.

Well, the same thing's
happened to me, arnold.

How old were you?

. It was last night.

Listen, the next time you
want to take teresa out,

Be sure there's no
misunderstanding, o.k.?

She would have known I
made a date if it wasn't me.

What's that mean?

Teresa would have
known I made a date

If I was tall, dark
and handsome.

Well, two out
of three ain't bad.

It ain't bad, but
it ain't enough.

Girls don't take me seriously.

I want to be a sex object.

Oh, arnold, is that why you
didn't want to have a party

To begin with?

Huh? Because you thought
you wouldn't be able to get

A real date? Yeah.

Let's face it, dad.

I'll never get a girl of my own.

Oh, that's not at
all true, arnold.

You're selling yourself short.

I mean...

Uh, listen, son, come here.

See, everybody has certain
problems, certain handicaps

That they have to
learn to live with.

I think I'm gonna be a monk.

I'm gonna give up
women and be celebrate.

Well, arnold, I don't think
you have to go quite that far.

You know, actually, son, you've
got an awful lot goin' for you.

Being short doesn't
really matter.

That's easy to say
when you're tall.

Well, look at napoleon. His
wife was the beautiful josephine.

And the famous jockey willie
shoemaker, he has a beautiful wife.

Even mickey rooney, all of
his wives were very beautiful.

I don't want a
wife. I want a date.

Well, that shouldn't be too hard
for a guy with all your natural charm

And humor and good manners,
except when you're eating of course.

Always remember this, arnold:

Women like to be treated
with respect and consideration.

They do?

Oh, sure.

In school, you've read about
sir walter raleigh, haven't you?

Yeah. He's the clown
that invented cigarettes.

Yeah, that's true, but he
also did some good things.

Now, there was a real gentleman.

On one occasion, a lady
wanted to cross the street,

But there was this big
puddle of water, see?

You know what he did?
He took off his cape

And he threw it over the puddle
so her feet wouldn't get wet.

After that, all the
women in london loved him.

They did? Right.

And the only time he
didn't have a woman with him

Was when they buried him.

Listen, arnold, instead of
feeling sorry for yourself,

You should make the
best of what you've got.

I promise you, you'll be
surprised at the results.

But how do I do that?

Let me give you a
couple of suggestions.

Are my guests
enjoying themselves?

Great party,
arnold. Great party.

Aren't you eating, my dear?

May I show you something
in the way of a hotdog?

Thank you, arnold.

All right, here we go.

We have one of these
hotdogs and mustard.

Here you are. Thanks.

These hotdogs are good, arnold.

Wouldn't you like one, my dear?

Yes, I would.

Good. Ah!

Ladies first.

You're very considerate, arnold.

There aren't many
of us gentlemen left.

And I love the
lilt in your voice.

Hee. Thank you, arnold.

And the cute way you tilt
your head when you giggle.

What's gotten into you?

Do you want some punch, teresa?

Sure.

Get me some, too.

I'll get you a glass
of punch, teresa.

Thank you. My pleasure.

What are you gonna do...

Drink it for her?

Yes, if she wishes.

Look, she's my date.

i'll get it for her. Hey!

Now look what you've done!

It's all over the floor!

No problem. No problem.

I'll handle it.

Allow me, my dear.

What a fool! He
ruined his costume.

That's real dumb. Arnold.

Yeah, arnold.

That's dumb.

He is not dumb.

It's just that he's now,

I hear puberty can do
weird things to a guy.

Well, I think arnold is
the only gentlemen here.

Girls: yeah, I'm with you.

Well, thank you for being
so considerate, arnold.

You know, you've
got a lot of class.

No sweat.

Uh... Excuse us.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Um, eh-heh...

Do you think we could go to a
movie or something sometime,

Like a real date?

Well, to tell you
the truth, arnold,

I never thought of you that way.

Oh...

I understand.

Well, eat all you want anyway.

Just a minute.

I never thought of you that way
'cause at school you're just, uh...

Well, just a cute little kid.

I know.

But now that I see
this side of you,

I realize there's
much more to you.

Yeah?

Like what?

Well, you're so confident,
thoughtful, and charming.

That's me.

So could we go
on a date sometime.

I'd love to.

Oh... Man!

Would you like to walk
across my cape again?

I'd be honored.

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪