05x13 - O'Brother: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ I bet we've been together ♪

♪ For a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together ♪

♪ For a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember ♪

♪ What I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing ♪

♪ We can't love each other
through ♪ ♪ ooh, ohh ♪

♪ What would we do, baby ♪

♪ Without us ♪

♪ Sha la la la ♪♪

Ok. Now, if you're real careful,

It all comes off

In one...

Long...

Piece. See?

Now me.

You got it, pally.

Hey, hey, what's going on?

Oh, it's just a little
game for andy, mom.

It's good for the
old manual dexterity.

How are we gonna know
what's in these cans now?

Don't fret. We'll just write
down what is in each can.

And that way, nothing's
lost. See, this one's peaches.

This one's peas.

Or was this one peas?

Don't look at me.

All right. Uh, alex,

Let's get these
cans put away, ok?

Uncle rob's gonna
be here any second.

Ok? It would be nice if the
house looked halfway decent.

Oh, hi. Sorry I'm late.

I stopped off at schweller's

To pick up some
strudel for dessert.

Oh. Andy and I were going to
make chocolate chip cookies.

Oh, no. No. It has to be
strudel from schweller's.

It's exactly the kind they
made at hofsteder's bakery

Back in buffalo when
rob and I were kids.

Hey, shouldn't
he be here by now?

I mean, his plane
landed two hours ago.

Oh, he's probably caught in
traffic on the expressway.

This is a first. My
brother is actually late.

Knowing rob, you'd think he'd get
off at the nearest exit and call.

He's the most organized,
responsible human being

I've ever met.

Ahem, ahem.

Except for you, alex.

Thank you. Yeah,
I love uncle rob.

He is the best...

All-american,
conservative, a family man.

I like the fact that
I'm related to him.

Reassures me I didn't
just come from nowhere.

Hi. We're going down to the mall
to get our blood pressure checked.

Oh, wait a minute. Uncle rob's
gonna be here any second.

Um, yeah. We want to be in perfect
health for when he gets here.

You see, there's this
healthmobile down there,

And it's important that we
check these things often,

Especially while we're young.

There's a cute paramedic

That I think jennifer
ought to meet.

Oh.

Hi! Hey! Whoa!

How are you, sweetheart?

Hi!

Hi. Hi.

Hi, jen.

Long time no see.

Too long. Just seeing you
makes my blood pressure soar.

We better get going, jennifer.

Bye-bye.

Ok, ok. We'll see you later.

Elyse, other women grow older,

You grow more
youthful and beautiful

Each time I see you.

Oh, rob...

Keep talking.

It's true.

Hey, hey. Hey! Alex!

Market's up, inflation is down,

Reagan's in the white house...
Can we pick them or what?

There are more important things in
the world than money and politics, alex.

Oh, oh, all right.

We'll talk about it later
when dad's not in the room.

Stevie! Where's the strudel?

Aw, robby, look at this!

Aw, you...

Jeez, rob, you're dressing
more casual these days. I like it.

Yeah. I decided I was
spending too much of my time

Walking around
in a suit and a tie.

You know, that affects the way you
view the world... Keeps you buttoned up.

Maybe you should go
upstairs and change.

We were worried about you, rob.

It's not like you to be late.

Why are you so hung up
on time all of a sudden?

We're only on this earth
a short while, steven.

The idea is to live each
moment to its fullest.

Experience everything.

If sometimes we stray
off the normal path...

Hey! That can be groovy, too.

He sure looked like my brother.

Aah!

Aah!

Oh, andy?

Andrew!

Come in here, would you, lad?

Aha, hey.

Did you do this?

No.

Then who did?

Bad guys.

I see. Ok. Well, I'm
gonna get blamed for it

Because I showed the
bad guys how to do it.

Right.

Ok. Well, then, it seems to
me, we have two options here.

Now, we can either
hide this stuff

And pretend we don't
know anything about it,

Or we can come clean

And tell mom the truth.

Hide them.

That's my boy.
Let's go. Come on.

All right.

All right. Would you like
to attempt to explain this?

All right, mom.

All right, mom.

We can't hide it any longer.

We're hooked on it, mom.

We can't help ourselves.

We are a couple of hardened...

Criminal can-peelers.

Mom, we're wanted
in every state.

We give up.

[Laughing]

Boys, this is not
a laughing matter.

D-do you realize...

I'm sorry.

Do you realize that we're not gonna
know what we're eating around here

For months to come?

Oh, mom, that could
be a welcome change.

Run for it! Go! Come on.

Steven, I cannot believe
it. After all these years,

You still can't go to your left.

I can go to my left, rob.

Just not with a basketball.

Anyway, I let you
win. Oh, really?

Yeah. You're my big brother.

I didn't want to see you cry.
It would be embarrassing.

Hey! Hey, how would
you like a headlock?

Aah! Hey, come on, rob. Let go
of me. No headlocks. Called it.

Ok. You're lucky you
called it. Heh heh heh.

We're off to the mall again.
The healthmobile opens at : .

We've been asked back
for glaucoma tests.

You've got it
all here, steven...

Great wife, great kids.

The whole package.

You too, rob.

Not too bad for a couple of mooks
from buffalo, huh? Heh heh heh.

You know, steven, there's
something I've been holding on to

Since I got here.

Well, it's going to
surprise you when I tell you.

And there's... There's no
way you can be ready for this.

I'm ready for anything. Try me.

Maureen and I are separated.

I wasn't ready for that.

Well, it's been
coming for a long time.

You and maureen? It
doesn't seem possible.

The last few years, we've pretty
much been keeping it together

Out of habit, really.

L-like two horses pulling
a wagon, you know...

Day after day, year after year,

Familiar with each other,

Accustomed to being
at each other's side,

But not really crazy
about each other,

And getting damn tired
of pulling the wagon.

What about the kids?

Marilyn moved out
about six months ago.

She's living with a
vietnamese family

On a houseboat on lake huron.

She says she's very happy.

The people are nice.
The fishing is good.

What about
jonathan? He's only .

Well, that's tougher, of course.

But it could be worse for him
growing up in a bad marriage.

Did I interrupt something?

Robert's got some
bad news, elyse.

Oh, no, no. It's...
It's not bad news.

Uh, it's good news.

Good news? Oh.
Well, tell me, rob.

My marriage is over.

I... I don't know what to say.

I mean, congratulations
doesn't sound right.

You know, I met a
girl on the plane.

And I've got a date tonight.

So, just... Be happy for me.

He's been married years.

He's got a wife,
two kids, and a date.

Why shouldn't we be happy?

For crying out loud.
Alex, you don't know...

You could have glaucoma
or high blood pressure

And not even know
it. All right. Ok.

All right. I'll be tested, ok?

You happy? You satisfied?

What do you get... A commission
on these tests, or what?

It's for your own
good, too, alex.

Mom, dad, you'll
be happy to know

That mallory and I
do not have glaucoma.

Wonderful, honey. Great news.

You don't sound thrilled.

[Sighs] we have some bad news.

W-we don't want to upset
you, but you need to know.

Your uncle rob and aunt
maureen have separated.

What?

No. No, no. No, no. I'm sorry.

Uh, that's
impossible. Uncle rob?

Uncle rob is not the kind
of guy who gets separated...

He's a republican.

A republican?

You know what I mean.

Alex, ronald
reagan was divorced.

He was a democrat at the time.

Alex, both political parties
are equally good at this.

I know. I mean. Half
the kids in my class

Have parents who are separated.

This must be the
separation decade.

Separation, sushi,
and designer jeans...

That's the eighties.

Thank you for that
in-depth analysis.

[Doorbell rings] I'll get it.

No, no. That's... That's
probably rob's date.

His what?

He's going out
on a date tonight.

He has a date?

The man is a
registered republican!

Yes, he has a date.
Is that so strange?

He's separated,
and he has a date.

Now, let's let
her in. And please,

Treat her with respect.

She's your uncle's date.

Hello.

I'm kathy brady.
I'm here for bob.

Bob?

Rob. We call him rob.

This is the keaton
house? Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Yes. I'm elyse keaton.

Hello. And this is steven...

Hi. Nice to meet you. And
jennifer and mallory...

Hello. And alex.

Hi. Hi.

He told me he likes
to be called bob. Oh.

Well, he never told us that.

We call him rob.

Hey, kath! Hi. Oh. Hi.

Has everybody met everybody?

Oh, boy, yes. Oh, for sure. Yes.

Well, great. Great.
Kathy and I are going

To this really hot
disco she knows about.

Do you want to come?

Oh, no. No, no.

We've planned a
quiet evening at home.

Make some tapioca.

You got it, babe.

Oh, listen, rob-bob...

What...

What time do you
think you'll be home?

Don't wait up, bro.

Whoa. Heh heh.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Yeah. Yeah, right.

Don't dance too hard!
Yeah. Nice to see ya.

Wear those safety belts! Ok.

What the hell was that?

Ok, andy, listen up, bud.

Mom needs peaches.

She says she bought
them especially

For this recipe she's making.

So, what we have
to do is find out

Which one of these cans
has the peaches in them

Without opening
every can in the house.

No problem.

All right, ok.

Has uncle rob been down yet?

Uh, yeah. He went
jogging about an hour ago.

That's really something. He
only came in three hours ago.

How do you know?
Because I was up all night

Listening to dad pace.

[Sighs] dad's really
taking this hard, isn't he?

I know. Mom says he's been
up every night this week

Looking through
old photo albums...

You know, pictures
of rob and maureen.

Yeah. You know dad.

He just... He just doesn't
handle separations well.

He still hasn't gotten over
the supremes breaking up.

Yeah. I remember
he sat up all night

Looking at pictures
of them, too.

I hate this situation with uncle
rob. I don't know what to say.

I mean, can I talk to
him about this situation?

Can I talk about aunt maureen?

Can I still call
her aunt maureen?

Yeah. Just... It's too bad that
you kids have to be witness

To this unsettling
adult behavior.

I think... I think you can
just comfort yourself

By looking at it in a detached,

Kind of analytical fashion.

Well, I feel better already.

Oh, come on.

I mean, basically,
what we have here

Is a failed merger.

Not unlike the breakup
of the phone company.

Although obviously
less emotional.

Nothing more than a
natural fluctuation

In the marketplace
of love and marriage.

You should write
romance novels, alex.

Oh, good morning, guys.

Hi. Morning. Uh, hi.

Anybody want some breakfast?

Oh, no. We've eaten
already. Thanks.

But if you're having
some, may I suggest

Some of our fine canned goods?

Uh, no, thanks. Well,
anyone want to stay around

And join me while
I have breakfast?

No. It's been a rough
day. I think, uh...

I think we're
gonna turn in. Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop.
Stop. No, it's not even : a.m.

Uh, it couldn't have
been that rough a day.

Come on now, I insist. You
guys sit back down here.

And we're going to
talk this thing out.

Come on. Everyone sit down.

[Sighs]

Ok. My separation
from aunt maureen

Is upsetting you all.

Who's aunt maureen?

Shh.

Ok. It's not upsetting
andrew that much.

How about you, alex?

All right. Look, I'd be lying

If I said I wasn't disappointed.

I understand.

I mean, I'm not a baby.

I know that these things happen,

But they're not supposed
to happen to you, uncle rob.

You're one of the good guys.

You're a father.
You're a husband.

You're a cpa.

Well, it could happen
to anyone, alex,

Even a cpa.

I don't know. I
guess I just have

An overly romantic
view of accounting.

And love. And love.

Uncle rob, I guess
it's just hard for us

To get used to, you know,
you dating another woman.

I guess we're just stunned.

Sure. I understand that.

It's just weird for us.

Maybe we should go running.

A little exercise might help.

Nothing can help.

This is a disaster.

Referring to my situation?

No. [Chuckling] what situation?

You? You're great. You're happy.

You're discoing.

There's no situation.

What's that?

Oh, nothing.

It's just a photo album
of somebody's wedding.

You know, steve, i... I just
polled our little group here

About their reaction to my
being separated from maureen.

We have, uh... Stunned,
disappointed, weird.

Well, please add concerned...

And berserk.

Yeah, I'm having real
trouble accepting it.

I know I should be
trying to support you.

Well I'll tell you, steve, I
really could use your support.

We want to help you, rob.

Yeah. We do. Yeah.

Good. Great.

Well, you're backing
a winner here.

I mean that. I mean, I met a
nice girl, and that's a big step.

Kathy and I are... We're
having a great time together.

I'd like you to get
to know her better.

Maybe you wouldn't
feel so awkward then.

How about...

How about if we
invited her to dinner?

Well, sure. I'd love it.

How about tonight?

Ok, here we go.

Huh?

What's this?

A little something
I like to call

Everything but peaches.

It's a culinary
masterpiece. I'm telling you,

I put salad dressing on these
things... These veggies took off!

Ask them.

Mmm. Mmm.

Listen...

Your mother and I
want to remind you

That this little get-together
is not an easy thing

For your uncle rob-bob.

Oh, dad, we know that.

We know that.

Ok. Well, uh... Let's
just be sensitive,

All of us.

He'll, uh, be coming
here with another woman,

Not his wife. Can
you believe that?

Steven.

No, no.

Please. I'm ok.

I'm all right. But
how can he possibly...

Talking about me?

Oh, no! No. This is, uh...

Just a little family huddle...

Something we always
do before guests arrive.

Now, let's get in there and
have a great dinner. Ready?

All: break!

Ha ha ha. You guys...

I'm upstairs, I'm
looking in the mirror,

I can't believe my
eyes. I am young again!

I mean, look at me.

I didn't look this young
when I was this young.

You're youngish
looking. Young-ful.

I'm years old.

Now, tell the honest
truth. How old do I look?

.

[Doorbell rings]

That must be kathy.

Hi, kath. Hi.

Heh heh. Come on in.

You've... You've met everybody.

Oh, sure. Hi. Come on, sit down.

Hello again. Hello.

Glad you could make it. Oh,

It's nice to be here.
Thanks for asking me.

I hear you two have
really been doing the town.

You hear right. We've been dancing
almost every night this week.

Do you guys disco?

Not... Not as much as we should.

I'm just crazy for it.

I mean, I love to be out
there whirling around

With those lights
strobing. It's fantastic.

It's hard for me to picture
you out there dancing around.

Why is that?

Because you hate dancing.
You always hated dancing.

I remember you used to say,
"better dead than dancing."

Oh, that wasn't
me. That was you.

You said that. You
hated to dance.

I never said that, and I
never hated to dance. You did.

Well, let me vouch for bob.

He loves to dance now.

Well, let's get that
sorted out. Is it bob or rob?

Which one is it?

Hey, what's the difference?
Rob, bob... Who cares?

I care. I like to know
who I'm talking to.

Is it my brother
rob or disco bob?

Steven, can I speak to you
in the kitchen for a moment?

No.

Bob, may I speak to you in
the kitchen for a moment?

No. Kathy, can I speak to you

In the kitchen
for a moment? Yes.

We'd like to come to the
kitchen and speak along with you.

You're the one
who hated to dance.

And what's more,
you couldn't dance.

I saw you with maureen
at your wedding,

And you couldn't dance at all.

Well, that's because
maureen can't dance at all,

So we dance bad together!

Who are you kidding? This
isn't about dancing, steve.

This is about acceptance.

You can't accept
me for who I am.

You're right.

I can't.

I can't.

I miss the guy who
danced bad with maureen.

He's gone, steve.

I don't think so.
I think he's here,

And I think his place
is with his family.

And I think with some
time and some help,

He can find what he's
looking for with them.

This is really funny.

You're lecturing me
about responsibility.

Marriage is for
better or worse, rob.

You don't run out 'cause your
wife b*rned the toast one morning

Or you found someone
else with longer legs.

It's not about burnt toast, steve. If
it was, I'd have left a long time ago.

Don't talk to me
about marriage, ok?

I was married while you were
collecting baseball cards!

You had it all, damn it!

A wife, two kids, a good job.

What did I have, steve? I never
wanted to be a cpa. You know that.

Mom said and pop
said, "go on, robbie boy.

"Be a cpa. Take the
test. You'll be happy.

"Go on, robbie. Get
married. You'll be happy.

Have two kids. You'll be happy."

I did everything they
said. I did everything right.

I'm not happy!

What am I supposed to
say? I hate hearing that.

Hear it.

They lied to me. They told
me that the dream was real.

They lied, I listened.

I'm not getting any
younger, stevie.

I want another chance.

I want to have a life, too.

[Doorbell rings]

Maureen.

What a coincidence.

We were just talking about you.

I'll bet.

Sit, ubu, sit.

Good dog. [Woof]