01x08 - The Counter-Secret Police Cover Operation

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Spy x Family". Aired: April 9, 2022 – present.*
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Series follows master spy Twilight, who must disguise himself as psychiatrist Loid Forger and build a mock family in order to investigate political leader Donovan Desmond.
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01x08 - The Counter-Secret Police Cover Operation

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Sign: THE COUNTER-SECRET POLICE COVER OPERATION

Instructor (Math): Now, who can answer this question?

Instructor (Math): Miss Anya Forger.

Anya: Three-thirds!

Instructor (Math): Ah. That is quite wrong.

Handler: So, how are things going, Twilight?

Handler: How is your daughter doing with her academics?

Handler: HQ was estimating that she'd be able to receive eight Stella in about four months.

Loid: Four...

Loid: Not a problem.

Handler: I see... that your ability to lie has diminished.

Loid: I'm confident she'll be able to get eight Tonitrus Bolts in two months, though.

Handler: No matter.

Handler: By the way...

Handler: Our informant within city hall was compromised this morning.

Handler: The enemy is stepping up their game.

Handler: Be on your guard, Twilight.

Handler: I shouldn't have to say this about being in the city,

Handler: but be it at Eden College or elsewhere,

Handler: you never know where eyes will be watching you.

Handler: This country's counter-intelligence agency is quite tough.

Hayward: H-How can I help you gentlemen?

First Lieutenant: We're with the State Security Service.

First Lieutenant: You're Jim Hayward, are you not?

First Lieutenant: We're taking you in on suspicion of being a spy.

Hayward: A s-spy?! What are you talking about?

Hayward: Hey... wait!

Hayward: Stop that! Unhand me at onc—

First Lieutenant: We'll hear what you have to say back at the office.

Millie: That's totally what happened this morning! I was so scared!

Sharon: The guy they took from finance

Sharon: was apparently leaking documents from this office.

Yor: Oh, he must be a bad person.

Camilla: Mornin'.

Millie: Oh, mornin'!

Yor: Good morning, Camilla.

Camilla: Oh, by the way, Yor, my boyfriend told me about your marriage.

Camilla: You haven't even told your younger brother yet?

Yor: Oh, you're right! I'd completely forgotten!

Sharon: Uh, you forgot? For a whole year?

Yor: Wh-What shall I do?

Camilla: He said he'll be calling you here later.

Yor: That's right.

Yor: I haven't given him the number for my new place yet.

Yor: I was so relieved our marriage went throughthat I blanked on everything else!

Millie: Say... is your younger brother a hottie?

Millie: Aw, he's a total cutie!

Yor: Yes. Yuri is quite adorable.

Yor: He would always call me "Sis" and refused to leave my side.

Sign: The State Security Service

Millie: Yikes, so he's obsessed with his sister. Pass.

Sharon: If your brother looks up to you so much,isn't it kinda mean to forget to tell him that?

First Lieutenant: Let's start one more time from the beginning.

First Lieutenant: How many and what kind of files did you take from city hall?

First Lieutenant: Who did you sell them to?

First Lieutenant: What do they look like?What is their contact information?

First Lieutenant: When, where, and how many times did you meet with them?

Hayward: Please let me go home.

Narrator: The State Security Service.

Narrator: An organization whose goal is to maintain the peace within their nation.

First Lieutenant: Since we're both so good at talking, let's continue, Mr. Hayward.

Narrator: Its main duties include spy hunting and keeping an eye on the citizens.

First Lieutenant: What do you say?

Narrator: To complete their missions, they frequently use v*olence,

Narrator: wiretapping, intimidation, and t*rture.

Narrator: The citizens called them the "secret police," and they are feared.

Yuri: Great work, First Lieutenant. The boss asked me to take over the questioning.

First Lieutenant: All right. I'll leave the rest to you,

First Lieutenant: Second Lieutenant Briar.

Yuri: Yes, sir! I'll do my best!

Narrator: Yuri Briar, age twenty.

Narrator: He is a member of the secret police.

Second lieutenant: Why did the boss bring such a softie into our team?

Second lieutenant: I admit that he's good, but frankly, he's just a kid.

Second lieutenant: Some elite from the Ministry of ForeignAffairs who quickly rose up the ranks.

First lieutenant: When I talked to the boss...

Chief: Huh? Well, isn't Yuri adorable?

Chief: He's like some cute little puppy.

First Lieutenant: And that was all.

Second Lieutenant: I-I see...

First Lieutenant: Well, our organization needs a kid like him sometimes.

First Lieutenant: Not to mention, he knows how to do the job,

First Lieutenant: and he can be quite indiscriminate.

Yuri: Hello, Mr. Hayward!

Hayward: You won't get anything out of m—

Yuri: My older sister actually works at city hall just like you do!

Hayward: Huh?

Yuri: Maybe you know her. She's pretty and kind, and I'm super proud of her!

Yuri: I'm actually going to celebrate her marriage today.

Yuri: I haven't seen her in forever, so I'm really excited!

Yuri: So, yeah. I'd like to get this over with quickly so I can go home.

Yuri: Why don't you just spit it all out already?

Hayward: I-I don't know anything!

Yuri: Here are photos of your deals.

Yuri: This is you, isn't it, Mr. Hayward?

Secretary: Second Lieutenant, you—

Secretary: How long were you holding on to important evidence like this?!

Yuri: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to submit them.

Yuri: You'd be much better off if you were honest.

Heyward: So, I was just giving them the papers in exchange for cash.

Heyward: All I know about him is that he's from the West. I don't even know his name.

Yuri: Was there anything awkward about this man's looks or speech?

Yuri: Perhaps he didn't act his age?

Heyward: No, nothing like that.

Yuri: I see. In that case...

Yuri: Does the name "Twilight" sound familiar to you?

Heyward: Who?

Yuri: He's a spy from the West. Apparently, a master of disguise.

Yuri: He is the villain who is trying to make this world fall into chaos.

Yuri: You could call him my natural enemy.

Heyward: I-If I helped you catch him, could we just forget about all this?

Yuri: Do you know something?

Heyward: Er, no, but let me remember...

Yuri: If you feed me false information, you'll be committing another crime, so do be careful.

Heyward: I just wanted extra money so I could fool around with girls! I didn't mean any harm.

Yuri: You have a wife, don't you?

Heyward: You're a man, too! You must understand!

Heyward: I was just selling some documents. I'm no political criminal.

Heyward: Let me off the hook! Please!

Yuri: Mr. Hayward, you see...

Yuri: I haven't told my sister that I work for the State Security Service.

Yuri: It's a particularly dangerous job, so it'd just worry her.

Yuri: And above all, I don't want her to know how much dirty work I do.

Yuri: Mr. Hayward, what you've done is treason.

Yuri: Perhaps they were nothing more than pieces of paper to you,

Yuri: but they may very well put many of our citizens in danger.

Yuri: Do you understand?!

Yuri: Unlike you, I love my family... my sister.

Yuri: I will do anything to protect this country where my sister lives.

Yuri: And I do mean anything.

Bondman: I don't care how much you t*rture me!

Bondman: I will never... sell out my friends!

Enemy: Curse you and your resilience, Bondman!

Loid: If only she could concentrate on her studies like this.

Bondman: I only have two b*ll*ts left.

Anya: How many b*ll*ts can Bondman's p*stol hold?

Loid: Hm? I'm pretty sure it was eight.

Anya: So that's two-eighths!

Loid: Yes! You're right!

Anya: He has two-eighths of his b*ll*ts left!

Loid: How do you even know those words?

Loid: So the cartoon makes things easier for her to understand?

Yor: Th-Th-Th-Th-There's trouble, Loid!

Loid: Welcome home, Yor.

Anya: He has two-eighths of his b*ll*ts left!

Yor: Yuri... I mean, my younger brother is coming here today!

Loid: Today?!

Yor: So, yes...

Yor: He insists on coming over and congratulating us.

Yor: What shall we do? He won't find out that this marriage is fake, will he?

Loid: Don't worry.

Loid: I've prepared lovey-dovey couple accessories for just this sort of occasion.

Anya: Papa and Mama are flirting.

Loid and Yor: We are not!

Anya: Mama's little brother still isn't here?

Loid: You mean your uncle.

Anya: Unkie...

Loid: It's late. You should go to bed.

Anya: Anya will greet Unkie, too...

Yor: It appears as though he's still stuck at work.

Yuri: I got a little worked up, and now I'm late.

Yuri: Ah, but...

Yuri: I'll finally be able to see Sis! It's been so long! La, la!

Yuri: Hurgh!

Yuri: I can feel the ribs that my sister broke before tingling.

Yuri: I'm remembering her loving embrace, and now my whole body is tingling!

Yuri: But why in the world did my sister wait a whole year to tell me she was married?

Yuri: Could he be some foul villain that she's afraid of introducing to me?!

Yuri: I will eliminate every thr*at within this country where my sister lives.

Yuri: That includes her husband, too.

Yuri: Loid Forger...

Yuri: If he's some shithead who's threatening my sister, I'll throw him in a cell immediately.

Yuri: No, calm down. She mustn't find out about my job.

Yuri: In order to protect my job and my happiness,

Yuri: I must make sure she never finds out about this!

Loid: Yuri Briar...

Loid: The Forgers' only blood relative.

Loid: It's easy to slip up around someone you'reemotionally close to. We must be careful.

Loid: I cannot lose this family that I've worked so hard to create.

Narrator: Everyone has a side they don't show anyone else.

Narrator: To their friends, their significant others, or even their families.

Yuri: Hello! It's nice to meet you! I'm Yor's younger brother, Yuri!

Narrator: They hide what they're truly feeling through fake smiles or bravado,

Narrator: and keep their true identities secret.

Loid and Yor: Welcome.

Narrator: That is how the world keeps up the appearance of its temporary peace.

Announcer: Foreign Minister Windsor met with Westalis's Foreign Minister Brantz for six days of talks,

Announcer: with the goal of normalizing diplomatic relations between the two countries.

Loid: I'm going to find out...

Yuri: I'm going to find out...

Loid: if this man is going to harm our family or not!

Yuri: if this man is worthy of my sister or not!

Yuri: No, of course he's not worthy.

Loid: Oh, let me take your coat and the things you're carrying.

Yuri: Oh, no, there's no need. Thank you for offering.

Loid: I can prepare something simple for us to eat pretty quickly.

Loid: The two of you can go ahead and relax.

Yuri: Oh, don't mind me.

Yuri: I would never eat something you've made.

Yor: Oh, you look so scary, Yuri.You must be nervous.

Yuri: I-I'm not...

Yuri: Crap. My animosity must've been showing.

Yor: Please, make yourself at home.

Yuri: I could still be worked up from that interrogation earlier.

Yuri: I need to play the part of the studious civil servant in front of my sister!

Yor: I need to play the part of the lovely wife in front of Yuri!

Yor: I could never tell him that I got married so I could continue k*lling!

Yor: Thank you for the flowers, Yuri.

Yuri: Sure... But, Sis...

Yuri: I haven't accepted your marriage yet.

Yuri: Why did you keep this a secret for a year?

Yuri: How am I supposed to accept it if you don't explain?

Loid: A reasonable question.

Loid: Now, then...

Loid: About your brother... Why don't we just go ahead and tell him everything?

Loid: The fact that single women are seen as highly suspicious

Loid: is a very serious issue in our times.

Loid: I'm sure your brother will understand.

Yor: W-We can't!

Yor: My brother can be very, er, sensitive.

Yor: If he found out that I... I got married to someone I wasn't in love with,

Yor: he would probably lose his composure.

Yor: Then we could end up troubling you, Loid...

Yor: And I don't want my brother to have to worry about me over something like this.

Yor: Oh, b-but don't worry! I have the perfect excuse to give him!

flashback Yor: I know more about Yuri than anyone else, so leave this to me!

Loid: I'm counting on you, Yor.

Yuri: Well, Sis? Why didn't you tell me?

Yor: W-Well...

Yor: B-Because I completely forgot!

Yuri: Huh? Okay, uh, I...

Yor: It completely slipped my mind!

Yuri: Actually, when I called you the other day, you told me that you had a partner.

Yuri: You could've at least told me then!

Yor: W-Well...

Yor: I forgot that I had forgotten to tell you about my marriage!

Yuri: Well, if you say so, it must be true! Sorry, Sis.

Loid: He accepted that?!

Narrator: When it concerns his sister, this man's sense of logic goes out the window.

Yuri: Jeez, Sis! You're such a scatterbrain!

Loid: Is this normal for the Briars?

Loid: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Yuri: Tch. How dare you interrupt the fun Sis and I were having?

Yuri: No... If I keep up this nasty attitude, Sis might end up hating me.

Yuri: I need to at least fake—

Yor: Isn't Loid's cooking just so delicious?

Yuri: Hmph! Don't think your cooking is enough to win me over, you villain!

Yuri: Oh, right. I actually brought over some wine.

Yuri: Please, help yourselves.

Loid: How considerate of you.

Yuri: I'll get you drunk and expose you for the filthy villain you are!

Loid: None for you tonight, Yor.

Yor: I know.

Yor: Unfortunately.

Yuri: So where did you two meet?

Loid: At the boutique on rd Street.

Yor: It was so surprising for a man I didn't know to stare at me like that.

Loid: Er, well... She was just so beautiful, you know...

Loid: The way you said that...

Loid: This subject will probably lead to a slip-up. I need to change it.

Loid: After a few dinners, we realized we had a lot in common.

Yuri: When were these dinners? Where? How many times did you go?

Yuri: Which restaurants?

Yuri: How many encounters led to your courtship?

Yuri: What made you decide to marry her?

Loid: Um...

Loid: Why do I feel like I'm being questioned by an officer?

Yuri: How do the two of you address each other?

Loid: Huh? Er, I call her "Yor."

Yuri: "Yor"?!

Yuri: Even I hesitate to use her given name!

Yuri: S-S-S-Sis, you don't happen to call him "Loi Loi" or "Loidy," do you?

Yor: Huh? Um...

Yuri: Loidy!

Yuri: God damn it!

Yor: I-I just... call him Loid!

Narrator: When it concerns his sister, this man's sense of logic... Well, you know the rest.

Loid: Are you all right?

Loid: Here, have some water.

Yuri: What could my sister possibly like about this guy?!

Yuri: Just because he can cook a little, and he's handsome, and tall,

Yuri: and considerate, and a doctor, that's just...

Yuri: That's just...

Yuri: God damn it!

Yor: Yuri, calm down.

Loid: I guess neither Briar holds their liquor well.

Loid: By the way, Yuri, I hear you're a diplomat.

Loid: Divert, divert...

Loid: That's quite the line of work. Yor loves to brag about you all the time.

Yor: Dominic told me the other day that you went all the way to Hugaria recently.

Yuri: Huh? Yeah. I mean, it's just work.

Yuri: But yes. It was a beautiful city.

Yuri: I wish I could've shown you, Sis.

Yuri: There were a lot of cafés, too.

Yuri: There was even an old one that an empress used to frequent...

Loid: You mean in the capital city Obda, right?

Loid: There are several delicious restaurants there.

Loid: I went there when I was a medical student.

Yuri: Oh, really?

Yuri: I went to Kalpatia often.

Yuri: The old man who owns it makes a superb stew.

Loid: I had that, too! Ah...

Loid: So this wine is also from Hugaria. It's excellent.

Loid: This is...

Yuri: Oh, that...

Loid: "I bought it from a shop on Hedger Street."

Yuri: I found it at a little shop on Hedger Street.

Loid: It must've been pricey.

Loid: It's dalc.

Yuri: Oh, no. It was just around dalc.

Loid: I knew it.

Loid: That's plenty fancy. Thank you very much.

Loid: This conversation...

Loid: It's right out of the Ostanian Intelligence Agency's manual for the art of deception.

Loid: It's a conversation template used to fabricate a story about going to another country.

Loid: Meaning this whole story's been a lie.

Loid: Besides, the owner of Kalpatia now has his son running the shop.

Loid: And this wine actually costs dalc now due to a poor harvest.

Loid: You may be able to fool an amateur, but it won't work on me,

Loid: Yuri Briar!

Loid: I had my reservations as soon as I heard you worked for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Loid: That line of work has commonly been an entryway to espionage.

Loid: I had Franky do some digging,

Loid: and there are records showing he worked in that department up until a year ago.

Loid: He must've been scouted by the intelligence agency right before or after that.

Loid: Putting all the pieces together,

Loid: this man works for the domestic counter-intelligence agency

Loid: that is WISE's mortal enemy... the secret police!

Loid: That said, though it may be dangerous,

Loid: as long as he doesn't find out who I really am,

Loid: maintaining this relationship isn't a bad idea.

Loid: If I play my cards right, he could be a powerful source of information

Loid: regarding my enemies.

Loid: I'll get you something in return next time.

Yor: Isn't it wonderful that you have such a lovely older brother now, Yuri?

Loid: He appears to be concealing his identity from Yor, too.

Loid: He may be easier to manipulate than I thought.

Yor: Yuri?

Yuri: I told you I wouldn't accept him, Sis!

Yuri: I'm never going to call him my brother!

Yor: You're being rude, Yuri.

Yuri: Yeah, you're right.

Yuri: I went out into the world, made a name for myself,

Yuri: and I can even buy expensive booze now!

Yuri: But that's all because of my sister!

Yuri: Our parents were gone, and we were poor,

Yuri: so we couldn't even get everything I'd need for studying.

Yuri: But...

Young Yuri: Sis sure is late. She's still at her part-time job?

Young Yor: I'm home, Yuri!

Young Yuri: Uh, Sis?!

Young Yuri: What happened?! You're covered in blood!

Young Yuri: What kind of work were you doing?!

Young Yor: Huh? Oh, I'm totally fine.

flashback Young Yor: This isn't my blood, so...

Young Yor: More importantly, look, Yuri!

Young Yor: Ta-da! It's the encyclopedia set you wanted!

Young Yor: I got paid a lot this time, so I went ahead and bought it!

Young Yuri: Sis...

flashbackYoung Yor: Ta-da! Here are those snacks you wanted, Yuri!

Yor: Sis would always work herself to death for me!

flashbackYoung Yuri: You don't have to work anymore, Sis!

Yuri: So I made up my mind... that I was going to become a proper adult,

Yuri: and be a man who could protect my sister.

Yuri: I'm going to be the one who protects my one and only family member.

Yuri: Can you even imagine

Yuri: how it feels for me to have the most important person in my life

Yuri: just suddenly taken from me by some guy who appeared out of thin air?

Yor: Yuri...

Yuri: Sure, I wanted you to get married someday and find true happiness.

Yuri: But that guy has to be someone who could protect you even better than me!

Yuri: Are you saying you're up to that task,

Yuri: Loidy?!

Loid: Lo—

Yor: I just want to put my brother's mind at ease.

Loid: I...

Loid: I love Yor as much as you do, if not more!

Loid: My daughter loves Yor very much, too.

Yor: Come on... This is just an act to deceive my brother.

Loid: She is already a part of my family.

Loid: Even if spears or meteors rained down from the sky,

Loid: I would risk my life to protect her.

Narrator: This man was a bold liar.

Yuri: Did he say... meteors?!

Yuri: I'm confident that I could protect her from spears, but meteors?!

Yuri: Is he surprisingly powerful? But how would he do that?

Yuri: I-It's easy to claim such things, you liar!

Yuri: Yeah! You have the face of a liar!

Yor: Oh, goodness.

Yor: You're so careless sometimes, Yuri!

Loid internal: I have the face of a liar? Has he seen through me?

Loid: Oh, don't worry about it, Yor. I'll clean it up.

Loid internal: No, that couldn't be.

Yuri: What? You've been married for a year,

Yuri: and that's your reaction when your hands touch?

Yuri: What? Are you actually married?

Loid: Wha—

Loid: Wh-What are you talking about?We're so in love.

Yor: Y-Yes, exactly.

Yuri: A likely story... If you're really married, then prove it to me.

Loid: I mean, we have our marriage license...

Yuri: That's not what I meant!

Yuri: Kiss right here and now.

Yor and Loid: Huh?!

Yuri: Should be easy if you're actually in love.

Yor: Er... But if it's in front of someone...

Yuri: Just once is fine. Then I'll believe you.

Yuri: If you can't, I'm going to city hall to have them revoke your marriage license!

Loid: This is bad. What should I do?

Loid: No, calm down.

Loid: I'm Westalis's greatest spy, Twilight.

Loid: I've had relations with countless women on my missions.

Loid: If a kiss or two will keep my mission safe...

Loid: If that's all it takes...

Yor: What?!

Yor: Loid, wait...

Loid: I'm just going to do what I always do, Yor.

Loid: Come on.

Yor: I mean, we need to so we can keep our fake marriage going, but...

Yor: Wha...

Yor: Wha...

Yor: What?!

Sign: SHOW OFF HOW IN LOVE YOU ARE
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