01x10 - The Great Dodgeball Plan

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Spy x Family". Aired: April 9, 2022 – present.*
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Series follows master spy Twilight, who must disguise himself as psychiatrist Loid Forger and build a mock family in order to investigate political leader Donovan Desmond.
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01x10 - The Great Dodgeball Plan

Post by bunniefuu »

Instructor: Good morning, Master Henderson.

Henderson: Good morning, sir.

Henderson: Would you like some tea, as well?

Instructor: Yes, I'd love some.

Instructor: It's been a while since you were in charge of the grade school kids.

Instructor: How are the kids this year?

Henderson: I must say, they show promise.

Instructor: I heard you had to give one of them a Tonitrus Bolt on their first day.

Henderson: True, it was a rather rare occurrence for our prestigious Eden College.

Instructor: It's the first time I've heard of it happening, too.

Henderson: I only did what was necessary.

Henderson: Good deeds shall be praised,

Henderson: and misconduct will be met with punishment.

Henderson: That is essential to education.

Instructor: I have much to learn from you, sir.

Henderson: As the elementary students pass through the gates of Eden College

Henderson: to learn true elegance every day, our school's traditions shall live on.

Henderson: Our house of learning exists to ensure the future of our country is elegant.

Ewen: Lord Damian!

Ewen: Isn't this your older brother, Lord Damian?

Damian: Yes...

Ewen: This must be his entrance ceremony!

Ewen: He's probably elsewhere in this book, too!

Emile: Oh, there he is!

Ewen: Ooh!

Emile: There he is again!

Ewen: And here! He's truly an MVP!

Emile: Your brother is just raking in the Stellas! How magnificent!

Ewen: But I'm sure you'll become an Imperial Scholar even faster, Lord Damian!

Ewen: We all know you'll be the first to get a Stella in our grade!

Damian: W-Well, yes.

Emile: But we still have a while until our exams.

Emile: Your first opportunity will be...

Emile: Our P.E. class next week.

Emile: We'll be having a dodgeball tournament with the other classes!

Ewen: My friend told me something he heard from his friend in Class .

Ewen: He said if you become MVP, you can get a Stella!

Damian: Really?

Emile: This is your chance, Lord Damian!

Damian: MVP, eh?

Henderson: It is a clear, sunny day.

Henderson: Young ladies and gentlemen of Eden,

Henderson: you will be adding another page to Eden's history today...

Henderson: Elegantly and brilliantly.

Damian: Shut up! You picked a fight with me first!

Anya: Anya didn't do anything wrong!

Becky: Exactly! First off, you—

Damian: Shut up, uggo!

Becky: Excuse me?!

Anya: Shithead.

Damian: Shut it, Stubby Legs!

Becky: You're not supposed to talk to girls like that!

Henderson: Ele...gant.

Anya: I have returned!

Yor: Welcome home, Miss Anya.

Anya: Papa, I have acquired important news!

Loid: What?

Loid: You may be able to get a Stella at your next P.E. class?

Anya: That's what Becky said.

Becky: My friend told me something she heard from her friend in Class .

Becky: The MVP from the winning class in next week's tournament

Becky: will receive a Stella!

Loid: So it's a rumor? That seems dubious.

Yor: Then we need to train, Miss Anya!

Anya: Training!

Yor: So what sport will you be playing?

Anya: Dodgeball.

Yor: Dodgeball...

Yor: That's the game where you hit your opponent with a ball to do them in, right?

Loid: "Do them in"?

Anya: Mama! Teach me a k*ller move!

Yor: Very well! I shall teach you the ultimate k*ller move with a ball.

Loid: Are you also athletic, Yor?

Yor: Oh, not exactly.

Yor: I just used to play catch with my brother sometimes.

Yor: I can't tell them I rip people apart and toss them around on a daily basis!

Yor: Just leave this to me, Miss Anya!

Yor: I'll show you a k*ller move that will help you catch that star!

Anya: I will reach for the stars in dodgeball!

Anya: Anya will catch the star!

Yor: That's the spirit!

Loid: I'm glad she's so motivated... but...

Anya: Super Anya will catch the star!

Yor: Yes!

Yor: We'll start with strength training.

Yor: One...

Yor: Two...

Yor: Three...

Yor: Four...

Death-Defying Sit-ups

Yor: Five.

Yor: Six.

Yor: Stamina is crucial, too.

Yor: Miss Anya!

Yor: Now, listen carefully.

Yor: You're not just using your arms when you throw the ball.

Yor: You need to make sure you step out with your foot,

Yor: twist your hips as you shift your weight,

Yor: channel all of your strength into your shoulder, and... throw!

Yor: Okay! Now you give it a try!

Yor: Oh, Loid.

main: Visualizing the Game

Loid: This is training?

Loid: I don't really understand how, but I did decide to let Yor handle this.

Yor: Miss Anya, please wake up.

Yor: Hey!

Anya: Hey!

Yor: Hah!

Anya: Hah!

Yor: Hup!

Anya: Hup!

Yor: Slap!

Anya: Slap!

Yor: Fwap!

Anya: Fwap!

Yor: Chwass!

Anya: Chwass!

Anya: I'm gonna catch that star tomorrow!

Anya: I did my best. I survived Mama's ruthless training.

Anya: I even thought up a name for my k*ller sh*t.

Anya: I'm gonna seize that star!

Anya: I'm gonna get lots of stars...

Anya: so I can help Papa with his mission!

Emile: At least it's clear that you're motivated.

Ewen: Just make sure you don't hold Lord Damian back, Stubby Legs.

Anya: Second son... and his lackeys.

Becky: Why are we playing together with the boys?

Becky: Being on the same team with him is the worst.

Anya: Second son... The son of Papa's target for this mission.

Anya: Good things happen if I become friends with him.

Damian: Wh-What are you staring at?!

Anya: But he gets really mean, so I don't like him.

Damian: Well, I don't have any time to waste on a runt like you, either.

Anya: A runt?

Damian: I'm going to get MVP in this tournament and be rewarded a Stella.

Damian: I need to become an Imperial Scholar just like my brother.

Damian: Otherwise...

Damian: Father will never notice me.

Ewen: Hey, wait, Lord Damian!

Henderson: Gather round!

Henderson: Your usual P.E. teacher, Bobby, is out sick, so I will be his substitute.

Henderson: Do not forget to be proper young men and ladies,

Henderson: and execute the most elegant of plays.

Students: Yes, sir.

Henderson: We will now begin the dodgeball tournament between Class , Cecile Hall,

Henderson: and Class , Wald Hall.

Henderson: You may now begin!

Sign: THE GREAT DODGEBALL PLAN

Emile: Let's show them who's boss, Lord Damian.

Class mob: You've got this, Damian!

Emile: Lord Damian!

Ewen: We gathered some intel on Class !

Damian: Good.

flashback Damian: In order to be awarded a Stella, you have to become the MVP.

flashback Damian: My enemy...

flashback Damian: is him!

Damian: In order to defeat Class and win this match, first...

Damian: we need to defeat him!

Damian: The son of a command major, Bill Watkins.

Sign: Bill Watkins ()

Class mob: Nice catch, Bill!

Becky: What the heck is that monster?!

Becky: There's no way he's our age!

Ewen: It's him...

Emile: Bazooka Bill!

Emile: Because of his obviously blessed physique and brains,

Emile: he won awards in all kinds of sports tournaments in kindergarten.

Emile: The Monster of Bodam!

Becky: Are there even that many tournaments in kindergarten?!

Damian: Wearing glasses right now is dangerous, old man.

Bill: I humbly thank you for your concern, Damian, son of Chairman Desmond.

Bill: But I'll be fine, because that ball won't be hitting me.

Bill: Also...

Bill: Any hits above the shoulders don't count.

Bill: Enemy positions confirmed.

Bill: Airflow, humidity... both good.

Class mob: Gerf.

Class mob: Gah.

Henderson: Four hits.

Class mob: Wow! Way to go, Bill!

Emile: What?!

Ewen: Is that even possible?!

Damian: Don't panic! That was just a fluke!

Bill: Oh, that wasn't a fluke.

Bill: When I throw the ball...

Bill: Every imaginable detail has been calculated.

Bill: We're not just talking simulations. I've trained my body to its limit.

Bill: Daddy!

Bill's Father: Ah, my son, Bill.

Bill: Yes, Daddy?

Bill's Father: You will eventually be the hero of Eden, as well as our army.

Bill's Father: Make sure you seize those Stellas with your own hands.

Bill's Father: For the future of Ostania!

Bill: Sir, yes, sir!

Bill: Yes... my victory is predetermined.

Becky: Um, hello?! We'll die if that actually hits us!

Bill: Don't worry. I'll hold back on you women.

Becky: Actually, that also pisses me off.

Becky: Gurk!

Henderson: Hit.

Damian: That's some mouth you've got on you.

Damian: Do you really think we went into this without a plan, you giant oaf?

Damian: You can't win...

Damian: at dodgeball all by yourself!

Emile: Ow!

Emile: You're gonna be the MVP! I just know it!

Damian: I'm gonna be the MVP!

Damian: Let's do this! Formation G!

Emile and Ewen: Right!

Henderson: Four hits.

Damian: I'm not done yet!

Emile: Ultimate...

Ewen: ...Shadow...

Damian: ...Clone...

Damian; Emile; Ewen: ...att*ck!

Bill: Shadow clone, eh?

Bill: Now, this is what you call...

Bill: a real shadow clone att*ck!

Emile: Lord Damian...

Emile: It was an honor to fight by your side.

Ewen: Emile!

Emile: I know all kinds of great things about you, Lord Damian.

Emile: Though I can't remember a single one right now, I'm sure there was something.

Emile: Please win, Lord Damian!

Emile: Because you'll always be...

Emile: a true MVP in our hearts!

Ewen: The forbidden... face block!

Ewen: Emile!

Ewen: Emile! Hey! Speak to me!

Emile: Ewen... you dummy. Don't cry.

Ewen: I'm not crying!

Emile: It's not the end yet...

Emile: So don't give up hope.

Ewen: Yeah. I know. I know!

Ewen: Once we give up, it's game over—

Damian: Damn it! At this rate, we're gonna lose.

Damian: I need to find his weakness!

Damian: I don't care if the others go down.

Damian: I need to somehow survive and stand out!

Anya: Second son is a real shithead.

Bill: Next up...

Bill: we have that little runt over there.

Bill: I'm going to aim for... her feet!

Bill: Wha—

Damian: Hey! He missed! Nice!

Out of Bounds Class Student A: Let's get the ball going!

Bill: She just...

Bill: jumped before I threw the ball!

Out of bounds class student B: Take this!

Bill: In that case...

Bill: I'll aim for her right arm!

Bill: Okay, her left!

Bill: I guess I'll just have to use my secret w*apon!

Bill: This throw will suddenly change its course and nail any opponent scampering about!

Bill: Take this!

Bill: Homing Slider sh*t!

Becky: What was that about holding back on women?!

Class student: Blorf!

Class student: Blorf!

Henderson: Hit.

Bill: That's impossible! She's reading my every att*ck!

Bill: Who in the world is that girl?!

Damian: Hey, not bad...

Anya: Heh.

Henderson: "Dodgeball," of course, stems from "dodge,"

Henderson: meaning to swiftly move out of the way.

Henderson: Such elegant evasion!

Becky: Anya! Look out for the guys out of bounds!

Damian: You dummy! Get up, quick!

Bill: You were impressive, but even you can't dodge from that position!

Bill: Die!

Damian: The bastard just threw that ball with everything he has!

Damian: It's unfortunate... But in the end, this is her own fault.

Damian: Don't worry. I shall survive and lead Class to victory.

Henderson: Hit.

Ewen: Wh-What are you doing, Lord Damian?!

Damian: Oh, no! My chance at MVP!

Anya: You protected me?

Damian: Huh?

Anya: Are you a good guy?

Damian: N-N-No!

Damian: I was just frustrated that he was taking out our team left and right,

Damian: so I tried to catch it...

Damian: Damn it all!

Damian: You're the only one left. It's in your hands now.

Anya: The future is in Anya's hands.

Anya: Now is the time to unleash my k*ller sh*t!

Yor: Miss Anya, this is my final lesson for you.

Yor: The key to throwing a ball well is to put your whole body into the throw.

Yor: Think of this ball as an arrow of light!

Anya: I won't let your death go to waste, second son.

Damian: I'm not dead!

Anya: I will avenge you!

Damian: That power she had when she knocked me out...

Damian: She might just be able to...

Becky: I have no idea what's going on, but this is intense.

Becky: Could it be...

Anya: The most important thing is shifting my weight.

Anya: The power in my stepand the twisting of my hips

Anya: need to go to my widdle hands...

Anya: And then my widdle hands... um... um...

Anya: Anyway!

Anya: k*ller sh*t!

Anya: Star Catch Arrow!

Bill: Huh? What?

Bill: Huh?!

Henderson: That's game.

Becky: Huh?

Class students: Yay! We won!

Damian; Ewen; Emile: Huh?

Class students: Now you're definitely getting that Stella, Bill!

Henderson: Hm? Stella?

Henderson: There are no Stella awarded for winning a mere mini-game in a single class.

Henderson: Who in the world suggested otherwise?

Henderson: On the other hand, you had the nerve to yell something as vile as "die" during the match,

Henderson: so I have no issue with giving you a Tonitrus Bolt instead.

Class students: Don't worry, Bill! We'll just try harder next time!

Class students: We'll have another chance.

Henderson: But to think...

Henderson: Two students who were at odds with each other worked together to take on this challenge.

Becky: Too bad, Anya. But you did great!

Henderson: This shows that you are worthy of a Stella, young ladies and gentlemen.

Becky: Cheer up!

Damian: You can't be serious, you moron! What was that crappy throw?!

Damian: I shouldn't have defended you!

Anya: Shock!

Becky: What's your problem? It's not like you hit anyone!

Anya: Anya doesn't like you after all.

Damian: What did you say, Stubby Legs?!

Becky: You're not supposed to say stuff like that to girls!

Henderson: Or perhaps not.

Anya: You really are a shithead.

Damian: Huh?! Say that again!

Anya: Everything Mama teaches me is useless.

Emile and Ewen: Yeah!

sign: "STELLA"
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