01x12 - Penguin Park

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: The capitol of Ostania, Berlint.

Narrator: This old woman is a contact for Westalis's intelligence agency, WISE.

Narrator: This man's name is Loid Forger,

Narrator: otherwise known by his code name, Twilight.

Narrator: His occupation: spy.

Narrator: It appears as though, on top of the current important mission he is conducting,

Narrator: he's been given another.

Old woman: This has been my life for decades now.

Old woman: Every day remains the same, and peace is fleeting.

Old woman: Will we ever see a day

Old woman: when we're not needed anymore?

Loid: Mission complete.

Contact: Good day, or perhaps, good evening, Twilight.

Contact: We thank you for completing that mission so quickly.

Contact: How goes Operation Strix?

Narrator: That is his top-priority mission to maintain peace between the East and the West.

Narrator: That mission...

Loid: It's going smoothly.

Loid: I have secured both a wife and child.

Narrator: ...is meant to bring the enemy country's plans for w*r to light,

Narrator: establish a family in said country, and infiltrate a certain academy.

Contact: Very good. Not standing out is an iron-clad rule for a spy.

Contact: Continue acting as a completely mundane family.

Loid: I know.

Contact: Did you quit smoking?

Loid: Well, I have a child now.

Narrator: And thus, the Forgers came to be without issue, but...

Yor: Loid did mention that he was going to be late,

Yor: so why don't we eat out tonight?

Anya: Yep.

Yor: Doctors sure are busy. It must be difficult.

Anya: Papa is not actually a doctor.

Narrator: His daughter, Anya, whom he just happened to adopt from an orphanage...

Anya: Papa's real job is a spy.

Anya: Today, he went to take down an arms dealer.

Narrator: ...is an Esper who can read minds.

Anya: I bring you my dish!

Yor: Thank you very much, Miss Anya.

Yor: Hmm... It's just not washing off...

Narrator: His wife, Yor, who agreed to this arrangement because of a common interest...

Yor: I can still smell the blood from yesterday's k*ll.

Narrator: ...is a hardcore assassin.

Narrator: A spy, a telepath, and an assassin.

Narrator: The three decided to live under one roof

Narrator: for their own reasons while concealing their true identities,

Narrator: and so their less-than-mundanefamily life continues on.

sign___OPERATION_STRIX: ,PENGUIN PARK

Loid: I keep getting all these extra missions every day, on top of Operation Strix.

Loid: HQ must be in dire straits over the personnel shortage.

Loid: When I get home, I have my pretend family to deal with.

Loid: I am an agent. Therefore, my soul has no time to rest.

Wife A: Hey, don't you think the husband across the hall must be in trouble?

Wife A: It's supposed to be a day off, but he's working late into the night again.

Loid: They're our neighbors...

Wife B: And they have a little child. That poor, neglected thing.

Wife C: I rarely see the three of them together.

Wife B: He's probably off cheating somewhere!

Wife B: How awful!

Wife A: Maybe he actually got fired, and he can't bring himself to go home.

Loid: I was careless.

Loid: I was so consumed by my other missions

Loid: that I neglected playing the role of the father well.

Loid: Even the slightest suspicion or mistrust from those around us in a deception operation

Loid: can be detrimental.

Loid: I must do everything I can to remedy this situation.

Loid: A thr*at to our family is a thr*at to the world!

Loid: We're going out next weekend!

Loid: The three of us will have a good time. Where do we want to go?

Loid: Oh? Is that a penguin, Anya?

Loid: I know. Let's go to the aquarium.

Yor: Um... You seem exhausted. Why not get some rest?

Loid: Yor, in order for our pretend marriage to continue,

Loid: we must do everything we can to seem like a normal, happy family.

Loid: So look forward to the weekend!

Anya: So exciting!

Loid: I need to take care of all of my other missions before then.

Loid: Well... let's go.

Yor: Loid, perhaps you really should get some rest.

Loid: I'm perfectly fine.

Wife C: Oh, if it isn't the Forgers.

Wife C: It's so rare to see all of you together.

Loid: We're about to go enjoy some time together at the aquarium.

Loid: Isn't that exciting, Anya?

Wife D: I see...

Loid: We need to show our neighbors what a happy family we are

Loid: so they don't ever suspect that we're a pretend family.

Anya: My papa, who is taking us on an ooting,

Anya: and my mama, who is very kind to my papa, are both very good people.

Anya: I think our family is completely normal.

Loid: That sounded more like an explanation than anything else, but good enough.

Loid: Now, then...

Loid: If you'll excuse us.

Anya: Please wait, Papa, who is a very good and normal person!

Anya: Ba-donk ka-chonk!

Loid: Another summons? I have a bad feeling about this.

Loid: I'm going to go buy us some drinks.

Yor: All right.

Old woman: Agent Twilight, we've got another additional mission for you tod—

Loid: I cannot.

Old Woman: This is straight from WISE HQ—

Loid: I cannot. Today is a very important day for Operation Strix.

Anya: Papa!

Anya: We need to hurry, or the aquarium will go out of business!

Loid: Don't worry, they just remodeled the place.

Loid: Just wait patiently.

Loid: There you have it.

Loid: Anyway, I'll take one coffee, one juice—

Old woman: Hang on! Did you say "aquarium"?

Old woman: Splendid, Agent Twilight.

Old woman: The location of this mission just happens to be Berlint Aquarium!

Old woman: I am blown away at how prepared you are!

Loid: No, really. This was a coincidence.

Loid: Could I get that coffee and juice now?

Old woman: There will be some intel traded at the aquarium—

Loid: My coffee and juice, please.

Old woman: Listen to me carefully, Twilight.

Old woman: This intel contains instructions from another country for making a new chemical w*apon.

Old woman: If t*rrorists get their hands on this information,

Old woman: many will perish in our country!

Anya: So many... fishies!

Anya: An octopus!

Anya: Starfish.

Anya: A tiny shark!

Yor: She looks like she's having fun.

Yor: Loid...

Yor: You look so pale. Are you all right?

Loid: I ended up taking the mission.

Loid: But we did successfully show the neighbors how well we get along.

Loid: As long as I can get through this separate mission...

Wife A: Oh, if it isn't the Forgers from across the hall.

Wife A: What a coincidence.

Yor: Oh, hello.

Loid: You can't... be serious!

Wife A: We just got here, too.

Loid: Now I definitely can't relax.

Loid: Actually, we just need to shoo them off, and—

Yor: Would you like to join us?

Loid: Yor!

Wife A: What a great idea.

Anya: Papa is funny.

Yor: If we want to appear normal,

Yor: we need to keep up a good relationship with our neighbors.

Loid: Very well, then.

Loid: I'll take care of this mission immediately, and then return to weekend mode.

flashback Old woman: According to our intel,

Old woman: they smuggled in a capsule containing film by making a penguin swallow it.

Loid: Why a penguin?

Old woman: It was brought in sometime yesterday at an unknown time.

Old woman: The recipient has not appeared yet.

Old woman: You must retrieve the goods before the enemy organization does, no matter what!

Loid: Why don't we check out the penguin exhibit?It seems to be the main attraction.

Wife A and B: Okay.

Anya: I like penguins! I wanna see!

Announcer: Welcome to the world's biggest penguin park!

Anya: P-P-P-Penguins!

Announcer: Our most recommended attraction at this aquarium

Announcer: is our adorable underwater show that stars penguins!

Loid: Exactly which penguin is my target?

Loid: There's no time to check each and every penguin.

Loid: I'd have a better chance of stopping the t*rror1st from obtaining the film...

Loid: No... Since I don't know when the recipient is going to show up,

Loid: that'll be difficult, as well.

Loid: I won't be able to keep an eye on all of these penguins alone.

Loid: What am I going to do?

Loid: There has to be something...

Loid: They must've marked the penguin somehow to tell it apart from the others.

Anya: Papa is troubled.

Yor: Loid is so enthusiastic. I guess he lets his inner child out sometimes, too.

Man's voice A: Hey, that fish looks tasty.

Woman's voice: Wait, where did my kid go?!

Man's voice B: I hope my girlfriend stops being so angry.

Penguin's voice A: Fish...

Anya: It's hard to read the minds of penguins.

Penguin's voice B: Let's play.

Penguin's voice C: I'mma eat some fish.

Penguin's voice D: I'm hungry.

Penguin's voice E: Come over here.

Anya: Papa, that penguin looks like it can't breathe.

Loid: It's drinking a lot of water only to spit it all back out.

Loid: It's possible there's something stuck in its throat.

Loid: This is definitely worth investigating.

Loid: Sorry. I'm going to go buy some drinks real quick.

Yor: Loid... His exhaustion must be making him so thirsty.

Chief: Hey! Where's the new guy we're supposed to get today?

Chief: He's this late on his first day?

Loid: Sorry I'm late!

Chief: What's wrong with you young'uns today?

Chief: I'll show you how to feed the penguins. Follow me.

Loid: Yes, sir!

Loid: The fastest way to get closer to the target penguin without causing a commotion

Loid: is to disguise myself as one of the aquarists.

Sign: Agent Twilight's Specialty: Disguises

Chief: The first thing a newbie has to learn is all of the penguins' faces and names.

Chief: Did you memorize the roster?

Loid: Yes. I glanced through it quickly in the staff room.

Chief: You glanced through? You moron!

Chief: Even with me, it took two years to learn all ...

Loid: Oh, Chief. You're about to step on poor Petilda behind you.

Chief: This is indeed Petilda.

Loid: This one is Pemas, and this is Pescar.

Chief: How can you tell, newbie?

Loid: Huh? Well, all of their patterns are completely different.

Loid: Their faces and heights, too.

Chief: Even I still mistake them every once in a while.

Chief: I can't believe this guy's observation skills and memory.

Chief: All right, then. Let's get to feeding them.

Chief: This way.

Loid: The penguin I spotted earlier is...

Loid: Right there. Parles, the emperor penguin.

Loid: I need to get to him immediately and...

Loid: Wh-Wha?!

Loid: I-I can't go any further.

Chief: We've got big eaters and fussy eaters.

Chief: Each penguin has unique eating habits, so pay attention.

Loid: I don't have time for this.

Loid: I need to hurry back, or the neighbors will be suspicious.

Loid: Chief!

Loid: Allow me to do the honors!

Chief and Aquarist: What?

Loid: I figured this out watching veteran aquarists...

Loid: The most important thing is how each penguin eats.

Loid: How much they eat, what kind of food it is,

Loid: and where each group is located.

Loid: As long as I can figure these things out...

Loid: Controlling the masses is mere child's play.

Chief: That's no ordinary newbie!

Loid: Uh-oh. Apparently Parles isn't very hungry.

Loid: He might be sick, so I'll take him to the treatment room.

Loid: If you'll excuse me for a bit.

Chief: S-Sure...

Loid: Sorry, little guy.

Loid: Bingo! There's something stuck in his throat.

Loid: Upon closer observation, it seems there's a mark on the bottom of his foot, too.

Loid: Just a second, little guy. I'll get it out for you.

Man from Org: You there.

Man from Org: What are you planning to do with that penguin?

Loid: He's not feeling well, so I'm taking him to the treatment room.

Man from Org: I see. Allow me to do that for you.

Loid: I'm terribly sorry. Only staff are allowed to handle them.

Man from Org: My apologies.

Man from Org: I'm a professor from Berlint University's marine biology research lab.

Man from Org: I'm in charge of the marine animals here.

Loid: This ID is fake.

Loid: It's not even well-made.

Man from Org: Who do you work for, you—

Loid: You're not getting away!

Loid: Hey, be still!

Chief: Hey, newbie!

Chief: Where are you taking that penguin?

Chief: The treatment room is that way!

Loid: I can't carelessly let him go without knowing how many enemies are here.

Loid: My top priority is retrieving this film.

Loid: I'll have to give up on chasing after him.

Yor: Oh, no... Now where did Miss Anya run off to?

Man from Org: I need to let my comrades outside know to k*ll that man,

Man from Org: and retrieve the film—

Man from Org: Who the hell are you?!

Anya: Mama! I'm being kidnapped!

Yor: Miss Anya?!

Man from Org: Let go of me!

Man from Org: What are you talking ab—

Yor: What do you think...

Yor: you're doing to my daughter?!

Anya: Wow.

Yor: Are you all right?

Yor: Oh, no. I definitely overdid it.

Yor: I hope he's not dead...

Loid: Wow.

Narrator: And so, Twilight was able to retrieve the film

Narrator: and get information about the enemy organization from the man they captured.

Wife A: You know, your husband hasn't come back at all.

Wife A: I'm telling you, he's cheating!

Wife: How awful!

Yor: Huh? That's not...

Loid: I'm sorry I took so long!

Yor: Loid!

Loid: Ta-da!

Anya: A penguin!

Yor: Oh, what a big stuffed penguin! Where did you get it?

Loid: It was a prize from the penguin name-guessing challenge they were doing over there.

Loid: I just had to get it for Anya, so I kept trying over and over.

Loid: Boy, it sure was difficult.

Anya: Papa is a liar. He actually got it in one try.

Yor: He got so worked up. How adorable.

Wife A: You're a better father than I thought.

Wife A: I'm impressed.

Loid: You flatter me.

Loid: I'm just a simple father trying not to stumble around too much

Yor: It's bigger than you, Miss Anya.

Loid: as I protect my happy little family.

Wife A: Now that I've gotten a closer look at you, you're quite handsome.

Loid: Looks like things are going to work out here, too.

Loid: But I'm absolutely done with all this excessive overwork.

Loid: I'm going to file a complaint to HQ and request a long vaca—

Loid: No...

Loid: Maintaining a world where children don't cry...

Loid: A world with no w*r...

Loid: That is my duty.

Loid: I have no time to stand by idly.

Anya: Papa! The dolphin show is gonna start!

Loid: Sorry, could you walk a little slower?

Newbie aquarist: What?! You want me to be the chief?!

Newbie aquarist: But why?!

Chief: I have nothing more to teach you.

Chimera (Anya): I am Director Chimera, the boss of the secret organization P.

Chimera: So you're the new recruit, eh?

Penguin (Anya): I am called Penguin, please, and I come from the aquarium.

Penguin: It is a pweasure to meet your acquaintenance.

Chimera: Indeed.

Chimera: Agent Anya, you know what to do.

Anya: Yep!

Chimera: We have a ritual in which we both eat the halves of a split peanut.

Chimera: Once you have completed this task,

Chimera: you will be officially recognized as a member of this organization.

Anya: Om...

Chimera: Starting today, you will be known as Agent Penguinman.

Chimera: Do your best for peace.

Penguin: Yep.

Chimera: Agent Anya, show our new agent around our hideout.

Anya: Okey-dokey!

Anya: This is our hideout's command room.

Anya: We gather intel from this machine every day.

Sign: * She watches cartoons

Anya: This is Agent Papa. He is a super-elite that can do anything.

Loid: Um... what? Is she pretending to be a spy?

Anya: This is Agent Mama.

Anya: She's strong, but fails at everything else.

Yor: Am I that much of a failure?!

Anya: They are Anya's trusted lackeys.

Anya: Okay, onward to the next spot.

Yor: It looks like Miss Anya has taken quite a liking to that plushie.

Loid: Mm...

Anya: This is the bathroom!

Anya: You can heal your wounds from battle here.

Anya: This is Anya's room. I train in here every day.

She studies

Anya: And...

Anya: The most top-secret spots in our hideout.

Anya: Papa's room and Mama's room!

Anya: Be on your guard.

Anya: If you discover the secret of these rooms, you won't leave alive.

Anya: We might find the ultimate Kn*fe, or the ultimate b*mb!

Anya: Now, then...

Loid: Hey! What do you think you're doing?!

Loid: How many times have I told you not to go in there without permission?!

Loid: Er, it's just, there's a lot of dangerous things in there, like scissors and heaters.

Loid: Honestly, there are far more dangerous things in there.

Yor: Yes, you shouldn't go in mine, either.

Yor: My room has poisoned needles and such.

Anya: Papa and Mama, I hate you both!

Anya: Anya's gonna run away from home!

Loid: Not good. At this rate, Operation Strix is going to collapse!

Loid: What should I do?

Loid: A-Agent Anya!

Loid: There's no time for crying! World peace is on the line!

Loid: L-Let's wrap up the tour of the hideout and head out for our next mission!

Yor: Y-Yes! Let's go b*at the bad guys!

Anya: Okay! Follow me, you two!

Anya: The bad guys have taken over the candy store on nd Street.

Anya: Let's go save them!

Loid and Yor: Huh?

Anya: Be careful.

Anya: The enemy might have set traps.

Loid: W-Well done, Agent Anya.

Townsperson : What is that?

Townsperson : Aw, what a sweet family.

Loid: A spy must not stand out...

Narrator: Later on, Anya's mood improved after they bought her a snack,

Narrator: and peace was restored to the Forger household.