07x19 - Being a Leader Is Tough

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News,Sign: The Shogun, Lord Tokugawa Shigeshige, Still Missing The Serial Couple Assaults That Only Occur On The Nights of Fireworks Displays Is Amarao Daisaku Moving to a Foreign Club? The World Sinks Except the Kabuki District Wins the Golden Raspberry

A: Here's today's top story.

A: Tokugawa Shigeshige-sama, the shogun,

News ,Sign: The Shogun Lord Tokugawa Shigeshige Still Missing

A: has been missing since last week,

A: and now it has come to light that he'd been taking walks,

A: incognito, outside the castle.

News ,Sign: National Police Agency Commissioner-General Matsudaira Katakuriko

A: The man said to have acted as his guide, Commissioner-General Matsudaira Katakuriko,

A: has categorically denied any involvement in this case.

Caution,Sign: Caution: Cameras Flashing

News ,Sign: Unemployed Suspect Sakata Gintoki

A: He maintains that it was all the doing of Sakata Gintoki,

A: who's being held on charges of obstruction of justice.

J: G-Good lord.

J: I never thought Gintoki-dono would...

J: That's the legendary Joi Rebel who used to be feared as the White Yaksha for you!

J: I had no idea his patriotic flame still b*rned so brightly!

Zu: He is truly the personification of a lamp in broad daylight.

J: Katsura-san!

Zu: In a world illuminated by sunlight,

Zu: his light is but a garbage fire that does nothing but flicker pointlessly.

Zu: But when dark clouds shroud the land and shadows loom,

Zu: it becomes a great bonfire that chases away the darkness!

Zu: Tonight we celebrate!

Zu: We shall throw a party to mark the White Yaksha's triumphant return!

J: But Katsura-san,

J: Gintoki-dono's been taken c*ptive by the enemy.

Zu: Just who do you think he is?

Zu: Faced with that reawakened demon, iron bars may as well be Bretz.

Zu: The salad flavored ones.

Zu: Hurry up and get everything ready before he comes back.

All: Yes, sir!

Zu: But I have to say, Elizabeth,

Zu: having the enemy commander, who I wanted to overthrow for years,

Zu: be taken out so easily by someone else

Zu: does leave a sour taste in the mouth.

Elizabeth,Sign: We don't know for sure that the shogun's dead yet...

Zu: Nonsense.

Zu: Are you suggesting that he would let his prey slip away?

Welcome,Sign: Welcome Back, White Yaksha

Zu: Having lost their commander, the bakufu must be in disarray right about now.

Zu: Now is the time to create a brand new world!

Zu: We must stay on our toes.

Zu: Right, Sho-chan?

Sho: Indeed, Katsura-san.

Title: Being a Leader Is Tough

J: Uh, Katsura-san.

Sho-chan,Sign: Sho-chan's request: You must watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV

J: Who is he?

Zu: Sho-chan, obviously.

J: That's not what I meant.

J: He was asking who this Sho-chan is.

Zu: Oh, I haven't introduced you yet.

Zu: This is Sho-chan.

Sho: I'm Sho-chan. Pleased to meet you.

J: The conversation hasn't made any progress at all!

Zu: I helped him after finding him lying on the street the other day.

Zu: But he'd lost his memories from hitting his head.

Zu: He didn't have anywhere to go,

Zu: so I asked him if he wanted to topple the nation with us.

Zu: Doesn't the aura of dignity about him make you feel he's no ordinary man?

Zu: He surely has what it takes to one day stand at the forefront

Zu: of us Joi Rebels as the great general who will crush the bakufu.

Sho,Sign: Show the way, Sho-chan.

Zu: As such, I have taken to calling him Sho-chan.

J: I don't know about "one day," Katsura-san.

News ,Sign: The Shogun Lord Tokugawa Shigeshige Still Missing

J: Isn't he already a leader of men?

Zu: Ah, so you guys also sense the ambition he has

Zu: that makes you want to prostate yourself before him despite him being a newcomer.

J: That's not what I meant...

J: Isn't he a spitting image of a certain somebody?

Zu: Ah, so you guys also noticed

Zu: that in this anime,

Zu: wearing a top knot wig makes almost every character look the same.

J: That's not it, either!

Zu: Anyway, he'll surely become an incredible Joi Rebel who'll change the world one day.

Zu: Until that day comes, I'd like you all to give him your support.

Zu: I'm counting on you.

J: Man, this is bad.

J: That's definitely the missing shogun.

J: At this rate, we'll end up rebelling with the shogun!

J: That'd be so awkward! And bad in so many ways!

J: For both the shogun and us!

Zu: Listen, Sho-chan.

Zu: You're a natural-born leader of men.

Zu: I'd love for you to polish those talents

Zu: and support the men as our second leader.

Zu: To that end, I'll teach you all the leadership skills I've learned.

J: Hey. He's saying he'll teach the leader of a nation leadership skills.

J: Somebody stop him!

J: Not happening. He's totally into it.

J: He won't listen to anyone when he's like that.

Zu: First off,

Zu: a leader must stay cool at all times.

Zu: As such,

Zu: to develop the composure needed to run an organization with a cool head at all times,

Zu: you will now play Jenga with me.

J: What does that have to do with running an organization?

Zu: What you need to be a leader is the same thing you need in Jenga: a sense of balance.

Zu: You have to weed out your useless subordinates,

Zu: but also make sure things don't come tumbling down

Zu: by buying them a canned coffee on the rooftop and consoling them.

Zu: Remember that, and you can keep the organization running smoothly.

J: That's the theory he was running us with?!

Zu: But that is not enough.

Zu: While we're playing Jenga,

Zu: Elizabeth will throw balls at us.

Zu: And from behind us, the teacher in black will repeat...

TIB: You fool!

Zu: Over and over.

TIB: You fool!

Zu: How you keep a cool head in this annoying situation

TIB: You fool!

TIB: You fool!

Zu: and keep the Jenga from falling is what's important.

TIB: You fool!

TIB: You fool!

J: Your idea's already far from cool!

TIB: You fool!

Zu: Let's begin. I'll go first.

TIB: You fool!

TIB: You fool!

Zu: Behold how cool a true leader is!

TIB: You fool!

J: He's coolly targeting the organization right off the bat!

J: He's the coolest one here!

J: Of course he is!

Zu: I see. We're starting from scratch, are we?

Zu: But this isn't enough to throw me off my game.

J: Hey, he's not getting angry.

J: He's staying cool even though the organization crumbled.

Zu: A leader fights not

Zu: against swords closing in to strike him,

Zu: or balls thrown at him...

TIB: You fool!

Zu: I'm not a fool! I'm Katsura!

J: That's what a leader fights against?!

Zu: Did you seriously think that would catch on?!

Zu: In your dreams!

J: He's lost his composure on the very first move!

J: He's forgotten all about the organization!

Sho: It's my turn.

Sho: I have to turn this crisis into an opportunity?

Sho: That being the case,

Sho: I'll do this.

J: Is that how Jenga rules work?!

J: Isn't that dominoes?

J: The one where you make the organization fall one piece after another in the end?!

Zu: Oh? Instead of building a hierarchy, you expanded your organization laterally?

Zu: You mean to throw out the leadership system and base your organization on equality?

J: Talk about reading too much into it!

Zu: But without a man to stand atop it and give it direction,

Zu: an organization will lose its way.

Zu: Even if he must use the corpses of his men as stepping stones,

Zu: a leader must always stay standing

Zu: and keep the organi—

J: Never mind keeping it safe, the leader destroyed the organization!

J: It stopped?

Sho: I never intended to do away with the leadership system.

Sho: But if a leader is too fixated on staying on top,

Sho: then the greater the heights an organization reaches,

Sho: the more he'll grow out of touch with his subordinate's feelings.

Sho: That said, if everyone is equal, they'll all fall together.

Sho: So I want to support the organization as its foundation.

J: Katsura-san!

J: Oh, no! He lost!

J: He said he'd teach him leadership skills, but ended up getting taught a lesson!

Zu: W-Well, that's a valid viewpoint.

Zu: We're both right, or, well,

Zu: there's more than one right answer.

Zu: Trying to pick a winner in this kind of thing is nonsensical to begin with.

TIB: You fool!

Zu: Shut the hell up!

J: He's gone berserk!

J: Who was it that said all that about cool heads earlier?

Zu: Well, I knew from the start that you had that degree of leadership skill in you.

Zu: But this is where it gets tough, Sho-chan.

Zu: Number two: a leader must never show his weaknesses to others.

Zu: He must always lead his men by example and portray the perfect image.

Zu: As such,

Zu: in order to develop the toughness

Zu: needed to hide your weakness and portray a perfect self,

Zu: you'll now play Reversi with me.

J: Seriously, why another game?!

Zu: These Reversi pieces have insults written on them.

Sign: Tighty Whities

Sign: Long hair is kinda suffocating

Sign: Stubborn

Sign: Looks like an extra

Zu: The whites have you insulting me,

Zu: and the blacks have me insulting you.

Zu: If you don't want to show any weaknesses,

Zu: you must flip as many of the opponent's pieces as possible.

J: What the hell will that develop?

J: This stupid game will only degrade you two!

Zu: You think you can expose Leader Katsura's weaknesses?

Zu: Let's see you try!

Zu: Here we go!

Zu: Too serious

Zu: Tighty Whities Had nose hair Farted the other day

Zu: Stubborn

Zu: Looks like an extra

Zu: Bad morning breath

Zu: What's wrong?

Zu: Your weaknesses keep getting exposed!

J: If anything, your awful personality is what's getting exposed!

J: Come on.

J: I'll take the corner. I'm gonna go for the corner.

J: Are you okay with that? Shouldn't you flip that piece?

J: He's revealing his weaknesses for all to see!

Zu: I guess this game's over.

J: It's all black!

J: I never knew game boards and people could turn so black!

Sho: You got me. I have lost.

Zu: Too bad, Sho-chan.

Zu: You did your best,

Zu: but this shows the difference in leadership experience between us.

Sho: Yes, you are right.

Sho: Actually, I wanted to write more insults about you,

Sho: but I couldn't find many weaknesses in a perfect leader like yourself.

Sho: So I painted the white sides black and wrote my own faults on them.

Sho: But that served as a valuable opportunity to face my shortcomings.

Sho: Be it to hide your weaknesses or overcome them,

Sho: you must face up to them first.

J: Katsura-san!

J: He won the battle, but lost at humanity!

J: Our leader's lost two in a row!

J: Forget teaching, he keeps getting schooled instead!

J: And the shogun's got game!

J: He may have amnesia, but he hasn't lost any of his nobility!

J: Hey, maybe the shogun isn't as bad a guy as we made him out to be.

J: He might even be a better leader than our—

J: Dumbass!

Zu: You're good, Sho-chan.

Zu: I didn't expect you to be this capable.

Zu: Indeed, recognizing your own weakness is also a form of strength.

TIB: You fool!

Zu: That's right! I'm a fool!

Zu: And now for the third and final lesson!

Zu: A leader must use any means possible to lead his organization to victory.

Zu: As such, you'll play Uno with me!

Zu: Because I'm good at Uno!

J: So much for teaching him!

Sho: Draw four.

J: He lost just like that!

J: Shogun!

J: You're amazing!

J: Your past and your position don't matter anymore!

J: You're a true leader of men!

J: Just like you, we'll cast aside our past!

J: So please show us the way!

J: With you, I'm sure we can change this country!

Sho: But Katsura-san...

J: Forget about him.

J: He needs some time to cool off.

Zu: Elizabe—

Elizabeth,Sign: You fool!!

Welcome,Sign: Welcome Back, White Yaksha

Zu: Listen up, men!

Zu: Several days have passed since our comrade, Sakata Gintoki, took the shogun's head.

Zu: But he hasn't returned yet.

Zu: I thought he'd be able to break out of the bakufu's prison easily,

Zu: but he must've run into some unforeseen complications.

Zu: As such,

Zu: to save Gintoki, who's being imprisoned in Edo Castle for grave crimes against the nation,

Zu: I, Katsura Kotaro, have made up my mind to storm the castle!

Zu: I realize it's a terribly dangerous thing to do.

Zu: But I cannot sit by and watch a comrade die.

Zu: So please don't stop me.

Zu: And don't try to come along.

Zu: I'll only say it one more time:

Zu: don't try to come along.

Zu: I'll only say—

J: Uh, sorry, but you're distracting us from the game, so could you keep it down?

Elizabeth,Sign: Where are you going, Katsura-san?

Elizabeth,Sign: How awful of you to try to leave without saying anything. Haven't you forgotten something?

Zu: Elizabeth!

Elizabeth,Sign: If you're going out, return this DVD for me.

DVD,Sign: Joshima Wants to Quit Being the Leader

Elizabeth,Sign: Quit acting like you're a leader already, damn errand boy.

Zu: I'm not Joshima! I'm Katsura!

Zu: Fine! I'll quit being leader!

Zu: There's nothing good about being a leader, anyway!

Zu: Nobody listens to Leader anymore!

Zu: Matsuoka's totally looking down on him!

Zu: Everyone else is appearing in dramas and variety shows,

Zu: so poor Leader only gets to work on Dash Island!

Zu: How about we quit being Joi Rebels and form a new unit called OED?

Gin: I don't recall ever being a Joi Rebel.

Gin: Where do you think you're whining and wailing?

Gin: Did you come to save me or annoy me?

Zu: I came to have you save me.

Gin: You want help from a guy who's stuck in hell?

Gin: Open this door already!

Gin: You and I are only in this predicament because you took the shogun home with you!

Zu: He's not the shogun. He's Sho-chan.

Gin: Oh, for crying out loud!

Gin: Anyway, bring that Sho-chan guy back here.

Gin: That way, I'll be cleared of all charges,

Gin: and you can go back to being leader.

G: What are you doing there?

G: An intruder!

Zu: Crap!

Sho: Sorry to keep you waiting,

Sho: Katsura-san.

Sho: I came because I was worried about you.

Sho: Are you two all right?

Gin: The shogun's here to raid his own home!

Sho: All right. I've secured Katsura-san.

Sho: As planned, Squads and will head to the main gate.

Sho: Keep the enemy distracted.

Sho: Squads and , secure an escape route out back.

Sho: Squad is to act as a commando unit and provide support.

All: Yes, sir!

Gin: He's handling them perfectly!

Gin: He's controlling them like they were his own arms and legs!

Sho: Don't die on me.

All: You too, Sho-chan!

Gin: He seems to be more into it than when he was shogun!

Gin: Calm down, Sho-chan!

Gin: You don't need to go that far!

Gin: Don't do anything stupid!

Gin: Stop causing a ruckus!

Gin: This is your home, you know!

Sho: The b*ttlefield is indeed a soldier's home.

Sho: A fine mentality, Gintoki-san.

Gin: That's not what I meant!

Gin: You're not meant to be fooling around with these morons!

Gin: You could save us from this predicament with just one word!

Gin: Understand?!

Sho: You want me to crush this rotten state

Sho: and save the people as its new ruler?

Gin: Want me to crush that rotten head of yours first?!

Sho: I understand.

Sho: I have already decided to inherit your and Katsura-san's spirit.

Gin: No! You don't understand a thing!

Zu: Forget it, Gintoki.

Zu: Don't waste your breath.

Zu: It would be quicker to just go see the princess.

Gin: Right!

Gin: Princess Soyo might figure something out.

Zu: That's not what I'm talking about.

Zu: How about we decide who'll be leader by seeing who can take the princess's head first?

Zu: Where did that come from?!

Sho: I see.

Sho: That would be a massive blow to the bakufu. It'd make them lose all face.

Gin: Look, that'd be more like covering your own face in sh*t!

Zu: This is your final exam, Sho-chan.

Zu: Show me your potential as a leader!

Zu: Ready...

Zu: Fire!

Gin: Wait!

Gin: Somebody stop them!

Gin: Stop those two morons!

G: Hey! Look over there!

G: We have intruders!

G: Intruders have made it inside the castle!

Gin: Wait!

Gin: You mustn't att*ck!

Gin: That's Sho-chan!

Gin: Look out!

Zu: Rules of Leadership, # :

Zu: a leader must stay

Zu: cool at all times.

Zu: No matter what kind of predicament he finds himself in,

Zu: he must calmly put his mind to work and keep his organization safe.

Sho: K-Katsura-san...

Zu: What are you panicking for?

Zu: You're one of us.

Zu: Isn't it natural for a leader to protect his men?

Zu: A leader must stay cool at all times.

Zu: Right?

Sho: Yeah. That's right.

Sho: All right. Shall we go?

Gin: Forget protecting him, you gave him a deeper wound than arrows ever could!

Zu: I-Impossible! How can he remain cool in that state?

Zu: What a man!

Gin: No, he stopped being cool the moment he got a tail sticking out of his ass!

Zu: Damn it! I won't be outdone!

Zu: Rules of Leadership, # :

Zu: a leader must never show his weaknesses to others.

Zu: He must keep them hidden at all times

Zu: and always conduct himself with dignity!

Gin: It's not just his weaknesses!

Gin: His love, heartache, and resilience have all been exposed!

W: A pervert!

Gin: He's not even a Joi Rebel anymore, let alone the shogun!

Zu: I-Impossible!

Zu: By laying everything bare, he abandoned the very idea of strength?!

Zu: I never knew a leader could be like that!

Gin: Wasn't most of that your doing?

Zu: You are, without doubt, the real deal.

Zu: Which of us is

Zu: better suited to being a true leader who'll create a brand new world...

Zu: Let us settle it once and for all.

Zu: Ready...

Zu: Fire!

Gin: Hold it!

Gin: Everything's been settled already!

Gin: Neither of you is cut out to be a leader!

Zu: The princess's head is mine!

Gin: Th-This is...

Zu: Looks like you figured it out.

Sho: Didn't you teach me yourself?

Sho: Rules of Leadership, # :

Sho: a leader must use any means possible to lead his organization to victory.

Sho: Unfortunately, it seems this little game of deception has ended in a draw.

Gin: H-Hey!

Gin: Don't tell me...

Gin: You had both already figured out who the other was,

Gin: and were putting on an act to get close to your enemy?

Sho: The act hasn't ended yet.

Sho: Say, Katsura.

Sho: If you actually wanted my head, you had plenty of chances to take it.

Zu: Right back at you, Lord Shigeshige.

Zu: You can't possibly tell me the shogun's residence is always this lightly guarded.

Sho: We each could have had the other's head anytime we wanted.

Sho: But where is the fun in that?

Sho: I wanted to see what the enemy commander was like

Sho: while he still had his head on his shoulders.

Sho: What did you think of the enemy commander?

Zu: Truly stupid.

Zu: There was no need to check him out at all.

Zu: Be it in the bakufu or the Joi Rebels,

Zu: leaders are the same wherever you go.

Zu: They all have wrinkled brows.

Sho: Katsura.

Sho: The next time we meet,

Sho: one of us will be dead, but...

Zu: ...the one still alive will create the brand new world.

Zu: No objections here.

Zu: Let us go, Elizabeth.

Zu: While security is still light, thankfully.

So: Um, excuse me.

So: Could you keep it down?

So: My friend's staying over and she only just fell asleep at long last.

Gin: Sorry about that.

Gin: Er, Shogun-sama, I'm also free to leave, right?

Sho: Right. Forgive me.

Sho: I have caused you a lot of trouble.

Gin: Don't worry about it.

Gin: Just buy me dinner sometime and we'll call it even.

Gin: Or just money would do.

Gin: Get your ass moving, Zura.

Gin: You should be grateful you're still alive.

Zu: Let go of me!

Kag: Didn't she tell you to keep it down?

Zu: Huh? L-Leader?

Gin: What are you doing here?

Kag: Shut up with the leader nonsense already!

Kag: Now I can finally sleep well.

So: I guess you really are the leader, Kagura-chan.

Title: Love Is a Roach Motel

Title: Next episode: "Love is...

: ...a Roach Motel."

text r: Any bad couples around?!

text l: Masked Roachief Black RX is here!

text r: The anime staff are pretty black-hearted, too, so we're comrades!

text l: What? A festival date? Really? Ack!