07x20 - Love Is a Roach Motel

[bunniefuu]

Sign: Masked Roachief Black RX's request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV, please!

Hij: Humans are no different from moths, really.

Hij: Be it festivals or fireworks displays,

Hij: the moment they see light, they flock to it.

Hij: We may have developed the technology to traverse the universe,

Hij: but it has about as much meaning as a crawling bug growing wings.

Oki: But thanks to that, we can just hold up butterfly nets to catch our prey,

Oki: so I'd say it ain't all bad.

Oki: One of them being a violent stag beetle with a

Oki: big ol' buzz saw growing on his head.

G: Hey, careful!

G: Watch where you're going, man! I'm gonna k*ll you!

Ko: You're the ones who need to be careful.

Oki: Speak of the devil.

Ko: Did you think it was okay for you youngsters to be out frolicking late at night?

Ko: Quit your flirting and break up right this instant,

Ko: or I'll throw you in the slammer!

Oki: Oops. That's no stag beetle.

Oki: It's a cockroach.

Title: Love Is a Roach Motel

Hij: Hey, what the heck is he playing at?

Oki: Apparently he got turned down.

Ko: I'm dead sure this will look great on you!

Ko: Not to worry.

Ko: I hear yukata are made to suit washboards as well.

Ko: Let's go to the festival together!

Tae: Sorry, but I have a festival of blood to get to.

Ko: Quit flirting and go home!

Hij: So he's gone from a yukata date to wishing yukata dead, huh?

Hij: We can't let the shinsengumi's reputation get any worse than it already is.

Hij: Go stop him.

Oki: Kondo-san, Kondo-san.

Oki: Hunting down cutesy couples is all well and good,

Oki: but the way you're going about it, you'll scare off innocent folk, too.

Oki: Why don't you do tonight's rounds in a festival version?

Ko: Are there any bad couples flirting in yukatas here?!

Oki: This way, he won't ruin the festival ambiance,

Oki: and nobody'll know he's shinsengumi.

Hij: Don't resort to cutting him off from us.

Hij: What kind of festival is this?

Oki: Well, see you later.

Oki: I'm going to investigate whether the octopus balls actually have octopus meat in them.

Hij: Hey, wait!

Hij: I-I'll investigate whether the okonomiyaki stand has run out of mayonnaise!

Hij: I don't care anymore!

Ko: What the hell am I doing?

Ko: I'm trying to destroy the happiness of others just because I couldn't attain my own.

Ko: This mask fits me perfectly. I'm no better than a cockroach.

Ko: I'm so rotten to the core, I may as well be the chief of cockroaches.

Ko: No wonder Otae-san turned me down!

Ko: A guy like me belongs

Ko: in the shadows of the kitchen, caught in a sticky trap.

Ko: I should go home, to where roaches deserve to be.

Kag: Hey, look at that!

Kag: It's Masked Roachief Black RX!

Kag: So the dirty hero who protects Earth from the kitchen's shadows really exists!

Tae: Kagura-chan, that's just a mask.

Ko: O-Otae-san!

Kag: Aw, how lame.

Kag: Oh, it's a yakisoba stand!

Tae: I-I'm so sorry. That was rude of her.

Ko: D-Don't be! It didn't bother me at all.

Ko: She doesn't realize that it's me?

Tae: Huh? Where did she go?

Tae: Kagura-chan!

Tae: This is a problem.

Tae: She doesn't have any money on her.

Ko: U-Uh, if you'd like, I could look for her with you.

Tae: Thank you. This is a huge help.

Tae: Are you sure you don't mind?

Ko: W-We need to help one another out when we're in trouble.

Ko: It's a miracle!

Ko: Nothing I've done has ever worked,

Ko: but the moment I became a roach, I got blessed with such good fortune!

Tae: But aren't you here to enjoy the festival? You're sure it's all right?

Ko: Oh, I was actually pretty bored by myself.

Ko: Besides, I can't leave a girl here all alone.

Tae: That's true. I hope Kagura-chan is all right.

Ko: No, not just her. I meant you, too.

Ko: There's no way I could ignore such a beautiful damsel in distress.

Tae: M-Me?

Tae: Thank you.

Tae: You really are like some kind of hero.

Ko: What the hell? Things are looking great!

Ko: Why am I faring so much better as a roach than as Kondo Isao?

Ko: N-No. I don't care.

Ko: If it means I can go on a date with Otae-san, I'll gladly become a roach or whatever!

Gin: You there! How about a game?

Gin: Huh?

Gin: Oh, it's you, Otae.

Tae: Gin-san?

Ko: Ack! Why is he here?!

Tae: What are you doing here?

Gin: Well, I figured I could use this festival to make some money.

Gin: What about you? On a date with a roach?

Ko: T-Talk about rude!

Ko: I'm not a roach!

Ko: I'm Masked Roachief!

Gin: Roachief? So you are a roach, then.

Kon: No! I'm the chief of roaches!

Gin: So a roach, then.

Tae: You're being rude, Gin-san.

Tae: Kagura-chan got lost, so he's looking for her with me.

Tae: He's a kind roach.

Gin: So in the end, he is a roach.

Gin: If you're looking for Kagura,

Gin: she stole Shinpachi's wallet and was just getting chased around.

Gin: She'll get caught soon enough.

Tae: That's a relief.

Tae: That means I can meet up with her if I wait here.

Tae: Masked Roachief, thanks for your help—

Ko: Oh, no!

Ko: There's a Roach Motel here!

Tae: Masked Roachief?!

Ko: Damn it all! Now I can't take a single step away from this stand!

Ko: What am I to do?!

Ko: Are you telling me I have no choice but to play here?

Ko: Curse you, stand owner!

Gin: Actually, you're hindering my business, so could you leave?

Ko: I-I know!

Ko: If I have to play anyway, would you like to join me, Otae-san?

Ko: It'll be on me.

Tae: But I should be the one showing you my gratitude...

Ko: I-In that case, could you show it by hanging out with me a bit longer?

Tae: I'd love to, of course.

Ko: All right!

Tae: But the money...

Gin: He's a man, Otae. Don't embarrass him.

Gin: At times like these, you gotta let the guy carry the burden.

Prices,Sign: Solo yen Couple yen Cockroach , yen

Gin: Don't worry. I'll give you a couples' discount.

Ko: Aren't you putting too much of a burden on roaches?!

Ko: That cancels out the couples' discount!

Gin: Well, what do you expect?

Gin: They say for every cockroach you see, there are thirty others.

Ko: They mean inside a house!

Ko: Are you charging for thirty?!

Gin: If you don't like it, go elsewhere.

Sign ,Sign: Goldfish Scooping sh**ting Gallery Mold Carving

Sign,Sign: We've got everything!

Gin: Otae will stay here and wait for Kagura, though.

Ko: Damn you.

Ko: Trying to sweep the muck from beneath my feet, eh?

Gin: But in return, we've got everything, from goldfish scooping to a sh**ting gallery.

Gin: This is a miniature amusement park where you can

Gin: experience all the classic summer festival attractions, so it's worth the cost.

Ko: Very well.

Ko: I have to do this to enjoy a festival date with Otae-san.

Ko: Th-Then, Otae-san, why don't we try the sh**ting gallery?

Tae: Sounds good! That sure brings back memories!

Ko: I'm gonna do it!

Ko: On this date, I'm gonna capture Otae-san's heart in the Roach Motel!

Motel,Sign: Berth Motel

Gin: Come this way, please.

Ko: Otae-san, is there a prize you've got your eye on?

Ko: I'll sh**t it down for you.

Tae: Really?

Tae: Which should I choose?

Ko: Ah, it feels like my heart's being cleansed anew.

Ko: So this is what a festival date is like.

Tae: I'd like that handkerchief, then.

Gin: You've got a keen eye, miss.

Gin: That's from the famous Bitch brand.

Gin: All right, boyfriend. Take close aim.

Gin: The trick is catching the center of the target in your crosshairs.

Gin: And...

Gin: Making sure the b*llet gets there.

Kon: Like hell it will!

Kon: Quit treating a festival-goer like some kind of top-class sn*per!

Gin: It's a special service for couples,

Gin: where we match the f*ring range to the distance between boy and girl.

Kon: It's too far!

Kon: You're so close to me, and yet I can't see you at all!

Gin: For a cockroach, you sure are quick to give up.

Kon: Why don't you sh**t that handkerchief, then?

Gin: The handkerchief?

Gin: Who told you to aim at that?

: What?

Gin: sh**ting that won't get you any prizes.

Gin: First, land a headshot on that stand owner, and while he's knocked out...

Kon: You were offering up some other stand's prize?!

Kon: You can't call this a sh**ting gallery!

Kon: It's nothing but robbery!

Gin: Don't go picking up a g*n if you're not prepared to hurt somebody.

Kon: I'd gladly land a headshot on you, though!

Gin: All right, all right.

Gin: We've even got a sh**ting gallery for babies like you.

Gin: That'll be , yen.

Kon: Are you gonna charge for every little thing?

Kon: It'd be quicker to just buy the handkerchief.

Tae: Wow!

Tae: That's a Bitch bag!

Tae: How'd you get that, Gin-san?

Gin: It's our top prize.

Gin: Can you guys sh**t it?

Kon: Before that, isn't the gallery super weird?!

Kon: Who the hell is that old man?!

Kon: H-Hey, Gramps. You're in the way.

Kon: Could you move for a sec?

Kon: I'm gonna sh**t, okay? Here I go!

Kon: It hit!

Kon: Only a fruit, though.

Kon: Uh, the old man is totally staring at me.

Kon: He's totally glaring at me!

Kon: He threw the prize at me!

Kon: What the hell?!

Kon: What kind of sh**ting gallery is this?!

Kon: Damn. I can't hit the bag at all.

Kon: Hey! The old man is crying now!

Kon: He doesn't wanna let go of the prize! It seems to be a portrait of someone!

Kon: Is that it? Is that what it's all about?

Kon: Is that his deceased wife's altar?

Kon: I can't sh**t now!

Kon: He's staring at me with his tear-filled eyes!

Kon: Damn!

Kon: Now his grandchildren showed up!

Kon: They just blocked the sh*t themselves! Is that allowed?

Kon: Is that really allowed?!

Kon: They look like they're saying, "What more do you want to take from us?"

Kon: Wasn't this supposed to be a sh**ting gallery?!

Kon: This is totally like one of those

Kon: "if you can't pay up, cough up yer valuables" scenes!

Kon: Wait, why are you showing up in this story?!

Kon: "Oh? Looks like you've got somethin' nice over here."

Kon: "I'll let you off the hook with this for today," right?

Kon: As if! Don't just walk off with the prize!

Kon: Hold it!

Kon: Freeze!

Kon: Got him!

Kon: Here comes the last sh*t—

G: Happy th Anniversary.

G: Sorry I'm so late.

G: Here's the Bitch bag you always wanted.

G: My incompetence meant that I couldn't give it to you while you were still alive,

G: but please doll up in the afterlife and wait for me.

Ko: Sh-sh*t!

Ko: sh*t!

Tae: I'm sorry, Roachief.

Tae: I wasted

Tae: the last sh*t.

Tae: But this was for the best, wasn't it?

Tae: What's wrong with this sh**ting gallery?!

Tae: In the end, I paid , yen just to see a shitty skit!

Tae: Um, don't worry about it.

Tae: I'll buy the bag myself.

Tae: Shall we move on to the next one?

Kon: Damn it all!

Kon: So this is their style of festival?

Kon: But I won't give up!

Kon: I'll show 'em how tenacious a cockroach can be!

Shin: The cost is , yen for cockroaches, but we'll give you a yen discount.

Ko: Th-Thanks.

Ko: Discount? Isn't this yen shaved ice you bought from the next stand over?

Ko: Anyway, Kagura-chan, you had me so worried.

Ko: I was wondering where you ran off to.

Kag: I would've ended up being the third wheel, so it was the right decision.

Kag: Where did you find this handsome cockroach?

Tae: Jeez! I'm telling you, it's not like that.

Tae: Right, Roachief?

Ko: U-Um, Otae-san...

Ko: Now that we've verified that your friend is safe,

Ko: how about we try some other stands?

Tae: But they said we could try all sorts of games here.

Tae: And at a festival, the more the merrier, right?

Ko: Y-You're right.

Ko: I guess it's best to enjoy it with everyone.

Ko: This certainly is like a dream come true.

Ko: I can't believe Otae-san and I are on a festival date.

Ko: However, I can only have that smile directed at me

Ko: while I have this mask on.

Prices ,Sign: Solo yen Couple yen Cockroach , yen

Ko: And the way this is going, I won't have nearly enough money.

Ko: I must show off my cool side in some quick game

Ko: and capture her heart.

Gin: We're good to go, sir.

Gin: You've tried the sh**ting gallery, so how about some mold carving next?

Gin: No festival is complete without this game, right?

Kon: Looks like it's a proper game this time.

Tae: Mold carving? What's that?

Kon: Oh, you've never played it?

Kon: Mold carving is a game where you use a needle to carve out

Kon: various shapes drawn on candies without breaking them.

Tae: Wow, that sounds like fun. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it, though.

Ko: I'll help you if you get stuck.

Gin: All right. For one turn,

Gin: consisting of three molds, it'll be , yen.

Ko: Not , yen per turn?!

Gin: It's , yen per mold.

Gin: In return, we've got some extravagant prizes,

Gin: and we'll even let you choose the pattern.

Carving,Sign: Mold Carving List k k k

Gin: What would you like, miss?

Gin: I recommend number two here. It's for , yen.

Tae: , yen?!

Tae: We can win , yen just by carving this snake out?

Gin: I said we had extravagant prizes, didn't I?

Tae: Let's go with this one, Roachief.

Gin: All right, here's number two:

Gin: Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar.

Kon: It was Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar!

Kon: That's way too drastic a difference!

Kon: Where did all this detail come from?!

Kon: Is there a problem? It was always Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar.

Ko: No, it was clearly an ordinary snake!

Gin: Oh, Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar

Gin: did originally have the appearance of a white snake.

Gin: Maybe it transformed between cuts.

Ko: I couldn't care less about

Ko: the backstory of Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar!

Ko: Carving this out is impossible!

Ko: How am I supposed to do the lightning?!

Carving,Sign: Mold Carving List k k k

Gin: Want to lower the difficulty level for the second mold, then?

Gin: Wanna try the , one?

Ko: Yeah, let's go with that.

Ko: Even if it turns out to be realistic-looking soft serve,

Ko: it should still be simple enough.

Gin: All right, here's your Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar cream.

Ko: It was Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar cream!

Ko: Knock it off!

Ko: It's all Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar!

Ko: And what the hell is a Goddess Benzaiten's White Dragon King avatar cream?!

Ko: All I did was put it down, and it broke!

Gin: How about this, then? It's for , yen.

Ko: Who is that?!

Ko: I don't have a clue, but it looks easy, so let's go with that!

Gin: All right, here's your D White Dragon.

Ko: It was a D White Dragon!

Ko: No way!

Ko: No way in hell I can carve out such a manly White Dragon!

Tae: Maybe you only think it'd be difficult because you're fixated on the "carving out" part.

Tae: If you think along the lines of getting rid of

Tae: the unnecessary parts...

Ko: How?!

Ko: How did you make the White Dragon with just that?

Ko: What are you, a Futae-no-Kiwami master?!

Tae: But the White Dragon's horn is still there...

Kon: No, he doesn't have a horn!

Kon: How did it end up in this shape?!

Tae: You can apply the finishing touches, Roachief.

Tae: Please get rid of that unnecessary horn.

Ko: It's unnecessary? Is it not supposed to be there?

Ko: Crap, this is a huge responsibility.

Ko: If I mess up here...

Ko: No! Consider this a golden opportunity!

Ko: I have to show off my cool side here!

Kag: Yay, Bro!

Kag: So many broken mold pieces!

Shin: Let's dig in while we still have the chance.

Gin: Hey!

Gin: What are you doing, you brats?!

Gin: Only people who play the game get to eat the candy!

Gin: I've got no pieces to waste on the likes of you!

Ko: Th-Those are the kids from the sh**ting gallery!

Gin: Sorry about that.

Gin: Those brats have started coming to leech off the stand lately.

Gin: Apparently their parents ran away,

Gin: leaving them without a home or food.

Gin: I'm sure you think those pieces are no big deal,

Gin: but if you keep showing pity to strays, there'll be no end to it.

Kag: Look, Bro. That's a big White Dragon.

Kag: Think they'll throw that horn away?

Shin: Forget about it. Come here.

Shin: I told you to come here!

Tae: Oops. My hand slipped.

Tae: There are broken candy pieces everywhere.

Tae: Let me get rid of them.

Tae: That was okay, right?

Ko: This again?!

Ko: Yet again, they got in the way just when I was about to win!

Ko: They're the real roaches here!

Tae: Sorry. We were so close.

Ko: O-Oh, it's nothing.

Ko: Damn them! How dare they take advantage of Otae-san's kind heart?!

Ko: In that case...

Sign ,Sign: Goldfish Scooping sh**ting Gallery Mold Carving

Ko: Hey, could we try goldfish scooping next?

Ko: Goldfish scooping should be fine because the shop won't lose much money

Ko: even if we scoop out three or four.

Ko: Surely there won't be any need for them to interfere.

Tae: Wow! There are so many cute goldfish!

Ko: How about it, Otae-san?

Ko: Let's have a goldfish scooping battle.

Ko: The one who scoops the most fish gets to keep them all.

Tae: Are you sure?

Tae: I'll have you know, I'm pretty good at goldfish scooping.

Ko: Please.

Ko: I won't be outdone, either.

Ko: If I win, I can show off my manly side.

Ko: And if I lose, I'm making her look good.

Ko: No matter how it turns out, I win!

Ko: I won't hold back, okay?

Tae: Wait a minute.

Tae: I'm starting to feel nervous.

Tae: Do you mind if I practice a little?

Ko: No way. That's no fair, Otae-san.

Tae: Just a little bit, okay?

Tae: Pretty please.

Ko: Sheesh. Just a little, okay?

Ko: Yeah, a festival date is the best—

Tae: Huh? Only fifty-three?

Tae: Looks like I'm a bit rusty.

Tae: Okay, then. Let's do this for real.

Gin: Wow, you're pretty good, miss.

Tae: You think so?

Tae: I could get up to eighty in one go before.

Gin: You should focus on your prey more.

Gin: The trick is to predict how the goldfish will move.

Gin: And...

Gin: Reaching the goldfish, I guess.

Ko: This is the same as the sh**ting gallery!

Ko: The goldfish are too far away!

Ko: You went too far, Otae-san!

Ko: You made these roaches spring into action!

Tae: Excuse me. I can't reach the goldfish this way.

Tae: This is a special service for couples,

Tae: where we match the depth of the pool to the depth of the girl's greed.

Ko: You've turned the goldfish into deep-sea fish!

Gin: To shorten the distance between you and your girlfriend,

Gin: there are times when you need resolve strong enough to jump off a cliff.

Ko: That will only shorten my lifespan!

Gin: Who said you should jump to your death?

Gin: I'm telling you to snare some fish by bungee jumping.

Gin: Here's your safety line.

Ko: Wait!

Ko: Forget the fish, my neck's been ensnared instead!

Gin: Just go already!

Ko: Like hell I could—

Tae: I'll be going ahead, then.

Ko: What are you doing, Otae-san?!

Ko: Just how much are you staking your life on goldfish scooping?!

Gin: Huh? Did she forget to tie her safety line?

Ko: Otae-san!

Ko: C-Can't breathe!

Tae: Roachief?

Ko: I-I'm here to save you, Otae-san.

Tae: Don't get in my way!

Tae: It's against the rules!

Ko: This isn't the time for that!

Ko: You and I are both going to die!

Shin: Watch out!

Kag: Somebody help...

Ko: That's right. Somebody call for help.

Bo: ...our Gramps!

Ko: Why you?!

Ko: My neck's gonna break!

Tae: What are you doing, Gramps?

G: Grandma, I'm coming to see you right now...

Tae: Gramps, don't tell me...

Ko: Nobody cares about that stupid skit!

Ko: I'm in danger of going to see her first!

Gin: You guys must now make a fateful decision.

Gin: Will you scoop up goldfish, or will you scoop up Gramps' life?

Gin: Pick whichever you like.

Ko: What kind of goldfish scooping is this?!

Gin: If you want to scoop the goldfish, all you have to do is let go.

Ko: Hey! Just how badly do they not want to lose their goldfish?!

Tae: I can't let him go!

Tae: But at this rate, even Roachief will...

Ko: I had a feeling you'd say that.

Ko: That's right.

Ko: The date may have ended up as a mess,

Ko: but that's what makes Otae-san who she is.

Ko: Then...

Ko: I'll protect both you and your beliefs until the very end!

Ko: After all,

Ko: I'm Masked Roachief Black RX!

Ko: Now! Climb up here, you two!

Tae: Uh, I'm sorry,

Tae: but we already reached the ground.

Tae: The rope stretched all the way down.

Tae: I guess we had another option to choose from.

Tae: Scooping goldfish using Gramps.

Tae: My, my, Roachief.

Tae: I don't plan on scooping goldfish with a cockroach, you know.

Tae: Of course...

Tae: Not with a gorilla, either.

Kag: Maybe he'll learn from this and quit stalking.

Kag: I can't believe he tried to deceive the boss lady

Kag: by wearing a mask to get close to her. What a jerk.

Tae: I don't know about that.

Tae: This mask may have hidden his face,

Tae: but in exchange, it may have made other things easier to see.

Kag: Like how this pervert wasn't a gorilla, but a cockroach?

Tae: No, that's not it.

Tae: Like how spending the festival with everyone was fun.

Sign: Preview

Kag: Next Episode:

Kag: A Kaboom Summer?

Soyo: A Kafrizz Summer?

Kag: A Disperse Summer?

Kag: Oh...

Title: A Sizzle Summer

Bo: "A Sizzle Summer!"

Sei: And...

Preview ,Sign: Preview

Sei: "A Nothing Summer, ."

Title: A Nothing Summer,

text r: Summer break has reached its closing stages!

text l: You won't be able to play for much longer! Mwahaha! (Demon Lord)

text r: Once you become a working adult, you won't get many chances to use offensive spells,

text l: so let's up our defense and do our best!