07x21 - A Sizzle Summer/A Nothing Summer, 2015

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gintama". Aired: April 4, 2006 - October 7, 2018.*
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
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07x21 - A Sizzle Summer/A Nothing Summer, 2015

Post by bunniefuu »

Kag: It's too bad about watermelons, huh?

So: What's too bad?

Kag: They're delicious, but the seeds get in the way.

Sign: Princess Soyo's request: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.

Kag: If it weren't for them, they'd be as good as pears or peaches.

So: True.

So: It's crossed my mind that, just once,

So: I'd like to bite into one without worrying about seeds.

Gin: You two just don't get it.

Gin: Overcoming the obstacle of these annoying seeds to eat the watermelon

Gin: is the mini-drama, of sorts, that gives its flavor a sense of urgency

Gin: and makes it even more delicious.

Gin: Basically, when you eat a watermelon,

Gin: you eat not the fruit, but the drama it creates.

So: You mean to say the bigger the obstacle,

So: the more drama there is, the tastier the watermelon?

Gin: Yes, exactly.

So: I see.

So: Then, Kagura-chan,

So: let's make these even tastier.

Kag: How?

So: Leave it to me!

Title: A Sizzle Summer

So: Ready or not, here I come!

So: Chest!

So: Wait a sec, Princess!

So: Calm down for a moment, Princess!

Shin: Put the wooden sword down for a moment, Princess!

Gin: What is this, watermelon splitting?

Shin: If it is, it's nothing like the kind we're familiar with!

So: I figured this would make things more dramatic.

Gin: Who asked you to create a suspense drama?!

So: I'm sure the watermelon will taste divine after overcoming such a massive obstacle.

Shin: But we won't be able to eat it!

Shin: Our heads will get smashed to pulp, too!

Kag: Quit your whining.

Kag: Kiryl and Borya are fated to either quietly stay in the cart

Kag: or be given the runaround by Alena.

Gin: Who are you calling Kiryl and Borya?!

Gin: Is this watermelon Torneko, then?! Are we the three cart brothers?!

Kag: Focus! If you don't do a good job leading her to the watermelon,

Kag: you'll end up taking Alena's strongest att*ck.

Gin: Wait, not this way! Go toward Kiryl!

Shin: Shut it, Borya!

So: Um, can you be more specific than "Kiryl" and "Borya"?

Shin: Thwack!

Shin: Thwack thirty degrees right!

att*ck,Sign: Shinpachi used Thwack!

Gin: No! Thwack thirty degrees the other way!

att*ck,Sign: Gintoki used Thwack!

Shin: W-Wait! Thwack the other way!

att*ck,Sign: Shinpachi used Thwack!

Gin: Thwack! Thwack thirty degrees left!

att*ck,Sign: Gintoki used Thwack!

Kag: Hey! Quit spamming Thwack!

So: Uh...

So: Thirty degrees... Thwack...

Gin: No, no! Hey!

Gin: The princess ended up being put under Thwack!

Gin: Watch out!

Kag: Soyo-chan! Not that way!

Kag: You gotta Zing degrees!

Gin: Wait! You mean Kazing degrees!

Shin: Whichever! Who cares?!

Gin: Don't move!

Gin: Just stay right there, Princess Soyo!

So: Huh? What was that?

So: Stay right there and...

So: Sizzle?!

att*ck ,Sign: Princess Soyo used Sizzle!

Gin: Who told you to use Sizzle?!

Gin: I said "Princess Soyo"!

W: That's my bag!

W: Thank you!

W: That guy was a purse snatcher.

Gin: The guy she hit with Sizzle was a purse snatcher!

Gin: She miraculously retrieved the stolen bag!

W: Things had really gone south. How can I repay you?

So: Huh?

So: South...

So: Evac to the south?!

att*ck ,Sign: Princess Soyo used Evac!

Gin: What kind of mishearing is that?!

Gin: She Evac-ed while holding the stolen bag!

Gin: She's not even heading south!

W: Eek! A thief!

Arrest,Sign: Arrest

C: You there! Freeze!

Gin: Oh, crap!

Gin: At the worst possible time, the fuzz showed up!

Gin: Hurry, Kagura! Go explain the situation to them!

Kag: Wait, that's Princess Soyo! Hurt her and you'll be put to death!

So: Sizzle Death?!

att*ck ,Sign: Princess Soyo used Sizzle Death!

Shin: Quit saying more than necessary, Kagura-chan!

C: Wh-What was that for?

C: Subdue her!

Kag: Time out! Hurt the shogun's sister and you'll be put to death!

So: Kasizzle Death!

att*ck ,Sign: Princess Soyo used Kasizzle Death!

Gin: That's Sizzle's sister spell!

Shin: Even the shogun got turned into Sizzle?!

Shin: Is everything that starts with "s" Sizzle to her?!

Gin: Somebody use Fizzle on her and seal her spells!

So: Thunder Staff Death!

att*ck ,Sign: Princess Soyo used Thunder Staff Death!

Gin: She's even using Sizzle with a w*apon?!

Gin: Just how big a Sizzle fan is she?!

Gin: At this point, maybe if we said "Sizzle," she'd hear it as "Princess Soyo"!

att*ck ,Sign: Kagura used Sizzle Death!

Kag: Sizzle Death!

Gin: I wasn't talking to you!

Gin: We've gotta stop those Sizzle girls before this turns really ugly.

Kag: Sizzle! Sizzle! Sizzle!

C: I'll handle this!

C: Take her and go!

Kag: Sizzle!

Kag: Soyo-chan!

Kag: Where are you taking Soyo-chan?

Kag: You guys have the wrong idea.

Kag: That's—

C: Princess Soyo, the shogun's little sister, right?

C: You're the ones with the wrong idea.

C: We're not cops.

Faction,Sign: Joi Rebel Faction Snowstorm

C: We're a Joi Rebel faction, Snowstorm!

C: We got intel that Princess Soyo often sneaks out of the castle incognito.

C: I hear the shogun loves his little sister very much.

C: If we used her as a bargaining chip, surely he'd start listening to us a little.

C: Of course, depending on his attitude,

C: we might have to use her eyeballs, ears, and fingers—

All: Princess!

All: Soyo-chan!

Shin: This is bad, Gin-san!

Shin: If anything happens to the princess...

Shin: No, we're already guaranteed to lose our heads!

Gin: Settle down!

Gin: Talk about a cloud with a silver lining.

Gin: Those guys are Joi Rebels.

Gin: If we take them all out before the kidnapping negotiations begin,

Gin: no one will know any of this happened.

Shin: Huh? Is that even possible?

Kag: Even if it were, the memory would haunt Soyo-chan for the rest of her life!

Kag: She'll stop coming to hang out in town!

T: Hey! Where do you guys think you're running?!

Gin: Nah, I'm sure it'll be a great summer memory for her.

C: Step on it!

C: We must start the negotiations before the bakufu's lapdogs get a whiff of this!

So: Um...

So: It's pretty far, huh?

So: The watermelon.

Gin: Not at all!

Gin: If you're looking for the watermelon, it's right in front of you!

C: I can't see!

C: Get out!

C: Quick, take the princess!

Shin: Go! Strike!

C: Y-You bastards...

C: That's enough!

C: If you keep getting in our way, the princess will lose her life!

C: Wh-What's so funny?

So: Well, this really is a scene right out of a drama!

C: A-A drama?!

Gin: Gosh, sorry about this.

Gin: It's turned into a cheap two-hour suspense drama.

So: Not at all. I had loads of fun!

So: But don't you think the watermelon has become sweet enough by now?

Gin: I guess.

Gin: Shall we eat up the watermelon, then,

Gin: Princess Soyo?

So: Up... watermelon?

So: Sizzle!

So: I did it!

Shin: Bull's-eye!

Shin: My, when did all these people get here?

Gin: Don't worry about it.

Gin: I hired them to create some drama so you could enjoy your watermelon.

So: What? You went that far?

So: Thank you so much, extras.

So: I've made a wonderful memory.

C: No problem.

So: Since we're all here,

So: let's all have some watermelon together.

So: With all the drama that happened,

So: it should be absolutely delicious now.

So: All together, now.

All: Let's eat!

So: I guess we took too long.

Gin: Seems that way.

Gin: Watermelons really are

Gin: better Snowstormed than Sizzled.

Shin: Summer's already ending.

Shin: Even as a working adult,

Shin: the end of summer break still makes you feel sad, doesn't it?

Gin: You mean like, "I didn't get **** this year, again"?

Shin: Could you not make such tasteless remarks?

Gin: Do you have any good memories of summer, then?

Gin: See?

Gin: Most guys in this world expect to have

Gin: a naughty experience or two during summer,

Gin: but then it ends without anything happening.

Gin: After spending many barren summers like that, nerds learn what reality is

Gin: and truly become adults.

Shin: Talk about no hopes or dreams!

Shin: It's gotta be out there somewhere!

Shin: A captivating summer that'll jump-start our adult lives!

Shin: I won't lose hope!

Shin: In the next scene, some incredible babe might show up here to make a request,

Shin: taking summer break into sudden death—

Shin: You bastard!

Shin: Don't try to b*at me to the door!

Shin: Your words and actions don't match!

Gin: Shut it!

Gin: Kids like you should go finish your summer homework or something!

Gin: I've got an adult's free research waiting for me here!

Sei: I knew you guys were the type to save it 'til the last minute, too.

Sei: If we all work on our summer homework together,

Sei: it's not too late to finish, right?

Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Kag: It's true.

Kag: Summer isn't over just yet.

Title: A Nothing Summer,

Sei: This is what the end of summer break is all about.

Sei: Finishing the piled-up homework together.

Sei: It's summer's last seasonal event, right, Shin-nii?

Shin: I wish summer had ended earlier.

Sei: You don't have to put it like that!

Kag: Seita, you really haven't touched it at all.

Sei: If Mom or Tsukuyo-nee were to find out about this,

Sei: I'd lose a whole year's worth of allowance!

Gin: You're going to lose a year's worth of allowance either way.

Shin: Are you gonna charge him for this?!

Gin: Remember this:

Gin: adults don't work for free.

Gin: There. Now you've grown up a little this summer.

Shin: Why don't you grow up?!

Sei: Fine.

Sei: It's better than getting yelled at by Mom and Tsukuyo-nee.

Sei: Shin-nii, you take Japanese and Social Studies.

Sei: Kagura-chan, you handle Math and Science, please.

Diary,Sign: Picture Diary

Seita,Sign: Seita

Sei: The biggest problem is this, Gin-san.

Gin: A picture diary?

Sei: I was told to fill it out daily,

Sei: but I completely forgot about it after the first day.

Diary Entry,Sign: July Today, they were showing Laputa in the Friday Matinee slot, so I watched it, then went to bed.

Sei: Today, they were showing Laputa in the Friday Movie slot,

Sei: so I watched it, then went to bed.

Sei: I don't remember anything else now.

Gin: What are you talking about?

Gin: This is the easiest part.

Sei: R-Really?

Gin: Going by this first day,

Gin: the week after that probably went like this.

Diary Entry,Sign: July Today, I stared at clouds all day.

Sei: Today, I stared at clouds all day.

Diary Entry,Sign: July Today, I stared at clouds all day again.

Sign: Today, I stared at clouds all day again.

Sei: You're dragging out the Laputa thing too long!

Gin: It's only natural.

Gin: If you watch Laputa on the first day of summer break,

Gin: you won't be able to recover for a while.

Gin: Without a doubt, a week will fly by while you try to find the Dragon's Lair.

Diary Entry,Sign: July I guess it really isn't that easy to find the Dragon's Lair. July I won't give up. I know Laputa is out there somewhere.

Sei: Well, maybe so, but...

Kag: Take this seriously, Gin-chan!

Diary Entry,Sign: Q) There were passengers on the bus. At one bus stop, got off and got on. At the next stop, got off and got on. How many passengers are left?

Kag: If there's a clear gap in intelligence between the picture diary and math,

Kag: the teacher's gonna notice.

Answer,Sign: A: The people look like ants.

Sei: Math's been influenced, too!

Sei: You're looking down on the bus from up high in Laputa!

Sei: You don't have to keep that part consistent!

Japanese,Sign: Write the readings for the following characters: Sky (Laputa) Girl (Sheeta) Diligence (My eyes!! My eyes!!) Majestic (My eyes!! My eyes!!)

Sei: Don't try to avoid the difficult questions by closing your eyes!

Sei: Just how much do you guys like Laputa?!

Sei: With this, the teacher will figure out I cheated right away!

Sei: We really need to include some summery event around here.

Sei: Oh, I know.

Sei: On August ,

Sei: I think I went with Izumi-chan and the others to catch rhinoceros beetles.

Sei: Izumi-chan looks so graceful, but she can also climb trees and stuff.

Sei: She was surprisingly awesome.

Diary Entry,Sign: August Izumi-chan... was awesome

Gin: I see.

Gin: Like this, then?

Sei: Not that!

Sei: What part are you making "awesome"?!

Sei: Now it totally looks like I was peeping at her panties!

Sei: And why'd the art suddenly get better?!

Gin: Wait, what?

Gin: Didn't you say Izumi-chan was awesome?

Diary Entry,Sign: August Izumi-chan... was awesome My beetle, too... was awesome

Sei: Forget it.

Sei: Just put that the rhinoceros beetle I caught was awesome.

Sei: The horn looks like something else entirely!

Gin: In that case, the week after would naturally be like this.

Diary Entry,Sign: August Today, along with my horn, I stared at pure white pant—clouds all day.

Sei: Don't drag it out!

Sei: Don't drag the "panties" thing out!

Diary Entry,Sign: August Today, along with my horn, I stared at pure white panties all day again.

Gin: It's only natural.

Gin: If a grade-schooler got a peek at panties,

Diary Entry,Sign: August Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties

Gin: a week will fly by just thinking about it.

Sei: Could you stop making a week fly by for anything and everything?!

Diary Entry,Sign: August Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties Panties

Sei: I'm not that sensitive!

Gin: But we should make as much progress with the diary as possible.

Sei: It's not progressing!

Sei: If anything, it's regressing!

Sei: And I never saw any panties in the first place!

Kag: Seita, don't worry.

Q,Sign: Q) Draw the adult forms of these larvae.

Kag: As this science problem shows,

Kag: that's how nature works.

Kag: That's what becoming an adult means.

Sei: Why'd they all grow horns?!

Sei: What kind of way is that to become an adult?!

Shin: Do you think you've become an adult just by seeing a pair of panties, Seita-kun?

Q ,Sign: Q) Name the following sculpture: _____ de Milo

Shin: If you ask me, you're still a long way off.

Answer ,Sign: My eyes!! My eyes!!!

Sei: You're still closing your eyes?

Sei: A guy averting his eyes from this level of naughtiness

Sei: is the last person I want to hear about adulthood from!

Gin: You'd better remember something,

Gin: or most of your summer break will be about panties.

Sei: Wait, wait.

Sei: Go back to August !

Sei: I'm pretty sure that day...

Sei: I remember!

Sei: I took Mom and Tsukuyo-nee to a fireworks display.

Sei: They'd both lived underground for ages,

Sei: so I wanted to show them fireworks adorning the sky.

Sei: But a typhoon hit that day, and the show was cancelled.

Sei: I felt really down, but then...

Sei: Tsukuyo-nee went and bought sparklers for us.

Sei: In the end,

Sei: it was a fireworks display under a roof for only the three of us,

Sei: but it was lots of fun.

Shin: See? You do have some nice stories to tell, Seita-kun.

Gin: It's a bit long.

Gin: Basically, a storm came along when you were staring at the sky, right?

Gin: We can make it a lot more concise.

Diary Entry,Sign: August This storm... is the Dragon's Lair! Laputa is nearby!

Sei: I said enough about Laputa already!

Sei: What's important here is that we enjoyed a fireworks display together.

Sei: It should go like this!

Sei: The fireworks display got cancelled,

Sei: so I lit fireworks with Mom and Tsukuyo-nee instead.

Sei: It was fun.

Sei: Huh? What's wrong?

Sei: It's perfect, isn't it?

Shin: I feel like it's so concise that it doesn't tell the full story.

Shin: It lacks the background of your wanting to show them fireworks in the sky.

Kag: "In the end, I couldn't show them fireworks,

Kag: but fireworks were bursting in all three of our hearts" is the best part, right?

Kag: In the first place,

Kag: isn't this story too rich to limit to just one day?

Kag: First, on August ...

Sei: The fireworks display got cancelled due to a typhoon.

Sei: I was sad.

Kag: You end it with that.

Kag: Then, on August ...

Sei: I still feel bad.

Sei: I really wanted to show them fireworks.

Shin: Ah, I get it.

Shin: You're stretching out one day's memories to last over several, right?

Sei: August .

Sei: Why did I want to show them fireworks?

Sei: It's a long story, so I'll save it for tomorrow.

Shin: You're stretching it out quite a bit, huh?

Sei: August .

Sei: To begin with—

Sei: I spilled ink on the page, so I'll save it for tomorrow.

Shin: Uh...

Shin: You've diluted it so much, it's basically water now.

Shin: Get to the point.

Sei: August .

Sei: It's not that interesting.

Sei: Do you really want to know?

Sei: What should I do...

Shin: Knock it off already.

Shin: Who are you even talking to?

Sei: If you want to know, go to August .

Sei: If you don't, go to August .

Shin: Why is there a branching point?!

Shin: What kind of diary is this?!

Sei: August .

Sei: Since you chose August ,

Sei: you have a tendency to inquire into others' circumstances.

Sei: You're suited to being a detective.

Sei: If you learn to take a hint, you might make more friends.

Sei: Lucky item: Diary.

Shin: Why'd this turn into a book of horoscopes?!

Shin: What about August , for the people who didn't want to know?

Sei: August .

Sei: If you're not interested in other people's stories,

Sei: why not set off on an adventure, Hero?

Sei: The legendary castle in the sky, or the legendary panties?

Sei: Which will you go in search of?

Sei: For the castle in the sky, go to August .

Sei: For panties, go to August .

Shin: Now it's a choose-your-own-adventure book!

Direction,Sign: West East

Sei: August .

Sei: Now, an adventure that will make your heart race is about to begin.

Sei: The path splits off into east and west.

Sei: Which will you choose?

Sei: If east, read One Piece.

Sei: If west, read Naruto.

Shin: Don't pawn everything off to other manga!

Sei: What is this?

Sei: It's not a diary at all anymore!

Sei: What happened to the fireworks story?!

Kag: Reading One Piece and Naruto will pretty much wrap everything up.

Shin: As if!

Shin: Who the hell goes through such grand summer breaks?

Sei: Forget it.

Sei: That wasn't the end of the story, anyway.

Shin: What? There's more?

Sei: I heard that the Bon Dancing festival on August would have fireworks, too,

Sei: so I thought I'd show Mom and Tsukuyo-nee fireworks this time for sure.

Sei: But Izumi-chan and the others also invited me to go with them.

Sei: Mom and Tsukuyo-nee

Sei: misunderstood and said they didn't want to be so boorish as to get in the way of a date.

Sei: Before long, we started arguing, and that led to a fight,

Sei: so I went to a certain someone for advice.

Diary Entry,Sei: August "Come back with half a year's allowance. We'll talk then," he said, and shooed me away that day.

Sei: August .

Sei: "Come back with half a year's allowance.

Sei: We'll talk then,"

Sei: he said and shooed me away that day.

Kag: What is this shaggy monster?

Shin: What kind of guy extorts money from a kid?

Diary Entry,Sei: August When I took my allowance to him, he said, "You came at the perfect time. Exchange that money for tokens and bring 'em here," and shooed me away that day.

Sei: August .

Sei: When I took my allowance to him, he said,

Sei: "You came at the perfect time.

Sei: Exchange that money for balls and bring 'em here,"

Sei: and shooed me away that day.

Kag: This guy's the worst! He's playing pachinko!

Shin: He extorts money from a kid and gambles with it?

Shin: What a piece of trash.

Diary Entry,Sei: August "You're a pest. I just have to take them to the Bon Dancing festival in your place, right? Even you need money for your date, right? Leave it to me. You just go buy some betting tickets."

Sei: August .

Gin: "You're a pest. I just have to take them to the Bon Dancing festival in your place, right?

Gin: Even you need money for your date, right?

Gin: Leave it to me.

Gin: You just go buy some betting tickets."

Kag: Hey! Now he's betting on the horses!

Kag: Just how pathetic is he?!

Shin: Are you sure you should've asked scum like that for help, Seita-kun?

Diary Entry,Sei: August "It's tomorrow, right? I know. That aside, have you ever heard of Russian Roulette?"

Sei: August .

Sei: "It's tomorrow, right? I know.

Sei: That aside, you ever heard of Russian Roulette?"

Kag: He even made him bet on Russian Roulette!

Kag: Just how low is he gonna go?!

Shin: Are you okay?!

Shin: Is everything really okay, Seita-kun?!

Diary Entry,Sei: August to Today... I spent all day staring at clouds.

Sei: August to .

Sei: Today...

Sei: I spent all day staring at clouds.

Shin: He sucked him dry!

Shin: More than a week flew by!

Sei: Ultimately, the Bon Dance ended while we were chasing after Laputa.

Sei: In the end, my summer break

Sei: was an empty, nothing summer.

Shin: That's not true, Seita-kun.

Shin: Summer break isn't over yet.

Shin: After all, your diary still

Shin: has today's blank page left.

Sei: B-But all I've done today is homework...

Kag: It's all up to you.

Sei: August .

Diary Entry,Sei: August Today is the last day of summer break. What should I do?

Sei: Today is the last day of summer break.

Sei: What should I do?

Diary Entry,Sei: If you want to spend it doing homework, go to August . If you want to light fireworks with everyone, go to the next page.

Sei: If you want to spend it doing homework, go to August .

Sei: If you want to light fireworks with everyone...

Kag: Which will you choose, Seita?

Sei: Where will we find fireworks, though?

Kag: Just hurry up and go get Tsukki and your mom.

Shin: No need to worry.

Kag: We've got fireworks right here.

Kag: Right, Shaggy?

Shin: You want to go to the castle in the sky, right?

Gin: W-Wait just a sec!

Gin: You guys figured it out?

Gin: You figured—

Both: Tamaya!

Sei: August .

Sei: Today, I set off fireworks with everyone.

Sei: They were dirty fireworks, but it was fun.

Diary,Sign: Picture Diary

Seita,Sign: Seita

Sign: Preview

Title: He's the Sweet Tooth, and I'm the Mayo Guy

text r: Huh? Wait, what?

text l: A traffic accident? For real?

text r: How dangerous.

text l: We should be careful.
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