07x28 - The Two Apes

[bunniefuu]

G: You moron!

G: I've had it with your incompetence. I'm disowning you!

G: You're never setting foot in this dojo again!

Kon: Music to my ears.

Kon: I'll be glad to not have to inherit this run-down dojo.

G: Is that so?

G: I bet a rascal like you is more suited to thievery than teaching swordsmanship,

G: Isao!

Kon: Huh? Where am I?

Warning ,Sign: Gorilla Isao's request: Watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!

Kon: Damn. I can't believe I fell asleep during my patrol.

Kon: That's right. I'm on my patrol.

Kon: I'm definitely not a stalker.

E: Impressive.

Kon: Who goes there?

Kon: I like your agility, and your ability to hide your presence.

Kon: With your skills, becoming a notorious thief wouldn't be a pipe dream.

Kon: What do you say?

Kon: Would you like to succeed me and become the second Ape Boy?

Ep Title,Title: The Two Apes

Hij: Kondo-san.

Hij: What were you up to last night?

Hij: Our old friend showed up again. Things got pretty crazy.

Oeda,Sign: Oedo Financing

Hij: As usual, the victims were loan sharks.

Ape,Sign: Ape Boy was here.

Hij: The brilliant MO of acrobatically stealing from the targets

Hij: while simultaneously exposing their evil deeds,

Hij: the beast-like agility,

Hij: and the practice of turning the stolen goods into bananas

Hij: and distributing them to the poor...

Hij: It's the Ape Boy.

Hij: The notorious thief who'd been laying low for a while is back in action.

Gin: Wait, what's the meaning of this?

Hij: Some call him chivalrous or heroic and idolize him,

Hij: but a thief's a thief.

Hij: We'd better catch him quickly.

Kon: Yeah. I swear on the Shinsengumi's honor that I'll definitely catch...

Kon: ...that monkey's tail.

E: I'm amazed you mastered a monkey's movements in such a short time.

E: You have the innate talent to be a robber and a monkey.

Kon: I can't tell him!

Kon: I can't tell him I'm a cop!

Kon: I can't tell anyone that a thief took me, a cop, under his wing!

Monkey,Sign: Japanese Macaque

Kon: But I'm too embarrassed to tell him I was simply a stalker!

Kon: W-Wait up, Gramps!

Kon: I-I'm actually a...

E: No need to say it. Did you think I hadn't noticed?

E: You can't be a thief unless you have a keen, observing eye.

E: You're a wild gorilla, aren't you?

Kon: No, that's not it!

E: Relax. Gorillas are like brothers to monkeys.

E: You can be Ape Boy, no problem.

Kon: That's not the issue here!

E: You're saying it's weird to call a gorilla a boy, right?

E: You can get a name change to "Gorilla Man (Large)" if you want, then.

Kon: That'd just make me a large man who looks like a gorilla!

Kon: A-Anyway, there's a reason why I can't succeed you—

Hij: You two there. What are you doing?

Kon: T-Toshi!

Hij: I came to check 'cause I heard some suspicious men were trespassing here every night,

Hij: and what do I find but a monkey boss in hiding?

Kon: This sucks!

Kon: If I get caught here, my life will be ruined!

E: Talk about a perfect situation for training.

E: Let's go, Gori Boy.

Kon: Wait a minute!

E: Rules of Thievery, No. :

E: Consider darkness your friend, and light your enemy.

E: Target the enemy's lights!

Kon: Screw it.

Kon: Whatever!

G: Vice Chief!

Kon: Toshi!

E: Taking away not their light, but their sight? You're good.

Hij: Damn those apes! I'm gonna turn them into monkey hotpot!

E: Rules of Thievery, No. :

E: Howl with the wind, and stop with the wind.

E: Use every kind of sound to conceal your actions!

Kon: Easier said than done!

E: If you can't use the wind, make some kind of noise to distract them.

Kon: I've got it. I'll throw a stone at that cage!

Kon: Toshi!

E: Using the sound of the enemy's bones breaking?

E: I've never thought of that before!

Kon: Wait, wait. I'm innocent, Toshi!

E: Last rule of thievery! This is the most important one!

Hij: Hold it right there!

Hij: I'm not letting you escape!

Kon: Toshi?!

E: If no amount of running can save you,

E: then abandon your friends and everything you're carrying!

Kon: Huh?

Kon: What?!

Kon: Wait—

Hij: This is the end for you,

Hij: you damn apes!

Kon: I abandoned my friends and everything I had.

E: You're incredible.

E: You trained gorillas to act as your sacrificial pawns?

E: There's no doubt about it.

E: You'll surely be able to...

E: succeed...

Kon: H-Hey, Gramps?

Kon: Gramps!

E: Guess I went too wild for someone my age.

Kon: Gramps, are you...

E: Yeah.

E: At best,

E: I'll only last a month...

Kon: Oh my God.

Kon: He's serious.

Kon: He's seriously trying to make me succeed him.

Kon: From now on,

Kon: you have to distribute bananas as the second Ape Boy, okay?

Kon: It's like this is his dying wish!

Kon: It's getting even harder to refuse!

E: The government's lapdogs will probably catch me soon.

E: After all the bad things I've done,

E: it's only right that I breathe my last behind bars.

E: When that time comes,

E: offer bananas over there in my stead.

Shrine,Sign: Hiyoshi Monkey God Shrine

E: It's the second Ape Boy's job.

E: I'm counting on you.

Kon: Hands off, apes!

Kon: These are offerings!

Kon: Don't underestimate a gorilla's grip. I'll crush you to bits!

Kon: Is this it? The Monkey God that the old man worships?

Kon: Huh? Where have I...

Hij: Do you find it unusual?

Hij: Monkeys have long been considered the familiars of Hiyoshigami.

Hij: There are more than a few places that worship them.

Kon: Toshi! What are you doing—

Hij: We both chased a monkey here, right?

Kon: Y-Yeah, that's right!

Kon: I was investigating Ape Boy on my own, and the trail led me here.

Kon: But first, how'd you get those wounds?

Kon: Who did that to you?

Kon: They'll pay for this! I'll make them pay!

Hij: Oh, I just played along with an undercover investigation.

Hij: I had no idea you were capable of such masterful acting.

Hij: I almost wanted to k*ll you.

Hij: And was it really an undercover investigation?

Hij: What if it wasn't? Tell me it was.

Hij: That was an undercover investigation, right?

Kon: O-Of course!

Kon: Never heard of the saying, "To deceive your enemy, first deceive your Toshi"?

W: My, my. Not every day we have so much commotion here.

W: What brings you to this rundown shrine that doesn't even have a priest anymore?

W: Could you be the one leaving bananas and money here every now and then?

Hij: Gran, that's not a monkey.

Hij: Someone comes here to offer money?

W: Yes. Not that I've ever seen him.

W: How eccentric.

W: But thanks to him, the Monkey God revived after being b*rned down once.

Hij: b*rned down? Was there a fire?

W: It happened a long time ago.

W: Back then, the priest gathered the neighborhood kids and ran a temple school,

W: but there was this one problem child.

W: He was a rowdy kid and a serial thief.

W: There were even rumors that he was raised by monkeys.

W: But he stopped stealing once the priest took him under his wing.

W: He was a kind man, you see.

W: That very kindness would prove to be his downfall,

W: as loan sharks took advantage of it

W: and took away not only the shrine, but also the children.

W: The problem child tried to repay his debt to the priest

W: by charging into their base and stealing the kids and the deed to the shrine.

W: But the sharks took their revenge,

W: razing the shrine to the ground.

Hij: What happened to that problem child?

W: Who knows?

W: I haven't seen him since.

Hij: Hear that, Kondo-san?

Hij: As we thought, this place is connected to the Ape Boy.

Hij: That problem child has to be

Hij: him.

Kon: Toshi, you're wrong.

Kon: I think that kid...

W: I hear that brat was up to no good again.

W: Apparently he stole radishes from Takosaku-san's farm.

W: What a horrible child.

W: They say he was raised by monkeys.

E: Don't let it get to you.

E: You're not a monkey.

E: If anything, you're a gorilla,

E: Isao.

Kon: I'm not even human?!

Kon: ...was probably me.

Kon: I thought this place looked familiar.

Kon: I see.

Kon: It was rebuilt after the fire, huh?

Hij: Why'd you show up in the story?!

Kon: Well, I was made to attend both the dojo and the temple school.

Kon: Rather than a problem child, I was just going through my thorny phase.

Kon: Everything about the world turned me on.

Hij: Thorny? More like horny!

Kon: For some reason, radishes got me especially aroused.

Kon: I didn't steal.

Kon: I was just yanking them all out.

Kon: And yet they called me a monkey's child...

Hij: Yanking? You mean w*nk*ng!

W: Wait, are you Isao-kun?

Kon: I thought it might be you...

Hij: Wait, do you know each other? Was she your teacher?

Hij: Loan Shark lady!

W: Isao-kun!

Hij: You're having a touching reunion with the one who b*rned down your school?

W: You got it all wrong.

W: I was the class madonna, Kori Hanako, a.k.a. Loanie Sharko.

Kori,Sign: Kori Hanako (Loanie Sharko)

W: You're as bad with names as ever, I see.

Hij: How'd a classmate age so much?!

Hij: Also, that's not Kondo-san!

Kon: Sorry, sorry.

Hij: And you haven't gotten over radishes yet?!

Hij: Hey! In the end, who is Ape Boy?

Hij: Did this shrine have nothing to do with him?

Kon: Nah.

Kon: The answer is clear to see.

Kon: There was one person who loved this place,

Kon: and worshipped the Monkey God, more than anyone.

Kon: None other than Sensei.

E: Who cares if they call you a monkey or a gorilla?

E: Look.

E: You need only be like the Sun Monkey God,

E: and become a man as warm as sunshine.

Kon: Can I? Am I really capable of that?

E: You can.

E: In this school, you definitely can.

E: So don't steal anymore.

G: Sensei!

L: If you won't hand over the land, then you leave us no choice.

L: Come by when you've made up your mind to trade the shrine for these kids,

L: Sensei.

G: Isao-kun!

Kon: What are you doing? Run away already!

Deed,Sign: Hiyoshi Shrine Deed

G: The deed!

G: S-Sorry, Sensei. We...

E: Don't tell Isao... about this.

E: You haven't done anything to apologize for.

E: You simply tried to protect this place in the Monkey God's stead.

E: I'm the one who must apologize.

E: Forgive me.

E: I'm no teacher or Monkey God.

E: Just a powerless ape.

W: I still can't forget Sensei's expression from back then.

W: Even he disappeared somewhere after that.

G: How much longer, Sensei?

W: Oh, dear.

Hij: Looks like his temple school was still going.

Hij: Even after losing everything and becoming Ape Boy,

Hij: he hid his identity and the source of the money

Hij: and continued to protect this place.

Kon: It's not just the shrine.

Kon: Sensei...

G: Where are you going?

G: He said he didn't want you coming to the shrine anymore.

G: Said he doesn't want a hooligan like you coming around.

G: Sensei was protecting me, too.

G: And to do it, he even dabbled in the thievery he despised so much.

Hij: That might be his way of atoning for his sins.

Hij: But things can't stay like this.

Hij: We've gotta end this.

Kon: What crimes did he commit?

Kon: All he did was protect the people being oppressed by villains!

Kon: More than that, Sensei doesn't have much time left.

Kon: We could at least let him breathe his last in peace—

Hij: You're saying that?

Hij: After making a promise to him,

Hij: are you really going to say that?

Kon: Toshi...

Kon: I...

Hij: What's up?

Hij: What? The Ape Boy?

P: Find him! Sniff him out!

E: How the mighty have fallen.

E: Looks like a bunch of rides are here to pick me up earlier than expected.

E: But I still have something to do—

G: No need to worry, Gramps.

G: We're not letting the officials have your head.

C: The Ape Boy showed up again.

C: By the time we got here, it was too late.

Hij: You even let the small fry get away?

Hij: Get your white robes ready.

Hij: Check all the shady financiers in the area. There has to be an accomplice somewhere.

C: About that...

C: Every single one of them is completely deserted.

C: It would appear they joined forces and placed traps all over Edo to capture Ape Boy.

C: At this point, we police aren't the only ones chasing him.

C: Criminals all over Edo are after his head.

Hij: Step on it!

Hij: Kondo-san...

Hij: Policeman, or a thief's disciple...

Hij: Feel free to pick whichever you want.

Hij: Wherever you go, I...

Hij: We're ready to follow in your footsteps.

Kon: I get it, Dad.

Kon: I won't ask about the shrine anymore.

Kon: In the end, I couldn't protect a thing, right?

Kon: But in return, I have a favor to ask.

Kon: I want to be strong.

Kon: Strong enough to protect everything.

Hij: One monkey defied his own teachings and

Hij: became a notorious thief to protect all that he cared about.

Hij: The other monkey

Hij: adhered to his teachings and became a policeman to protect all that he cared about.

G: Wh-Who are you?

Hij: That's the only difference between you two.

Hij: Both of you tried to protect something as simply...

Kon: An ape.

G: He took out the lights!

G: Q-Quit freaking out!

G: There's only one enemy. Get him!

G: Wh-What's going on here? Is he really alone?

G: What are you doing? Turn on the light already!

G: What's wrong?

G: Y-You bastards...

G: You can't be a cop or a thief unless you have good night vision.

G: But petty thieves like you, who simply prey on the weak,

G: have no right to live in the day or night!

Kon: Throw them all behind bars!

Kon: Hey, Gramps!

Kon: Pull yourself together!

Kon: Can you hear me? Can you see me?

Kon: Gramps!

E: I can't see a thing...

Kon: Gramps!

E: But I recognize that annoying voice.

E: I'm amazed you overcame that numerical disadvantage.

E: That's the second Ape Boy for you.

Kon: Weren't you the one who taught me the rules of thievery?

Kon: But I'm sorry.

Kon: I couldn't abandon my friends, after all.

Kon: I couldn't leave you as a thief.

Kon: I'm a failure as a disciple.

E: You're not a failure at all.

E: I was also the one who taught you not to steal, wasn't I?

E: You came to stop me this time, right?

E: I knew all along.

E: A nincompoop like you could never be a thief.

E: But you've grown into a fine man,

E: Isao.

E: Now, cuff me before I die,

E: with your own hands.

Kon: What are you talking about, you senile geezer?

Kon: I've had you cuffed for a long time now.

Kon: I'm not letting you escape anymore, you hear me?

Kon: Sensei...

E: That so?

E: These sure are some

E: warm... cuffs...

G: Sensei!

G: Look, there are offerings again!

G: But we missed him again!

G: And here we wanted to find out who he was this time...

W: This isn't a human's doing.

G: What? Is it a demon?

G: A monster monkey?

G: A Saiyan?!

W: It's nothing like that.

W: Welcome home,

W: Monkey God.

Ep Title,Title: Afros of Life and Death

Gin: Infiltrate the Shinsengumi? Seriously?

Kat: A samurai is always serious, whether he has straight long hair or an afro.

Sign: Preview

Gin: And you're telling me a new character shows up episodes in?

Kat: I won't lose, no matter what kind of afro may appear!

text r: When Katsura Kotaro infiltrates the Shinsengumi,

text l: finally, at long last, after what seems like an eternity,

text r: the Shinsengumi Third Squad Captain, Saito Shimaru, appears before him!!

text l: Actually, his name's been mentioned in the show for quite a while now.