07x44 - Heroes Always Arrive Fashionably Late

[bunniefuu]

Kat: Shogun...

Kat: We were always at odds as enemies,

Kat: but we shared the same ambition to make this a better country.

Kat: I couldn't put an end to you with my own hands,

Kat: so I failed to keep the promise I made as an enemy.

Kat: But the promise we made as friends who pursued the same ambition...

Kat: I'll definitely fulfill it.

Title: Farewell Shinsengumi Arc Part Two

Title: Heroes Always Arrive Fashionably Late

Dojo,Sign: Kodokan Dojo

Warning,Sign: Watch the Farewell Shinsengumi Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!

Tae: Well, I have to head to work now.

Tae: So you're staying home again today?

Tae: If you decide to go to Odd Jobs, make sure to lock up, okay?

Shin: Sis.

Shin: Don't worry. There's no need to lock up anymore.

Shin: Above the ceiling,

Shin: under the overhang,

Shin: the shadows of the walls,

Shin: and the shadows of utility poles

Shin: are all free of that gorilla stalker now.

Shin: But then, why is it

Shin: that life's not the least bit fun?

HB : A long time ago, some idiot asked me this:

Smile,Sign: Snack Smile

HB : If I could take any one thing I like to a deserted island, what would I take?

HB : I answered thusly...

HB : "Camus."

HB : People live on the water they drink.

HB : But men live on booze.

HB : After all, it goes perfectly with anything.

HB : Be it bar snacks, meat, women,

HB : bitching, or whining.

HB : Men get through life by mixing all things good or bad

HB : with their drinks and gulping them down.

HB : That said,

HB : there is just one combination that doesn't work.

HB : Booze and bozos.

Gin: Damn, quit drinking with a gloomy face.

Gin: You're making my booze taste bad. Get out.

Hij: Booze is for drinking when you're gloomy. You get out.

Hij: Why are you at my welcome party, anyway?

Gin: These guys dragged me here, saying they'd treat me to free booze.

Gin: I wouldn't subject myself to your soppy, rainy-season b*llsack of a mug otherwise.

Hij: Whose face are you calling a b*llsack?

Hij: That's rich, coming from a forever droopy, parched b*llsack of a mug.

Gin: A parched b*llsack's more hygienic than a soppy one, you b*llsack!

Hij: There's nothing hygienic about b*lls, you b*llsack!

HB : Good thing we brought Gin-san along, huh, Boss?

HB : The vice chief was down in the dumps, but he's full of energy now.

HB : I guess there's one more thing I'd take to a deserted island.

HB : Perhaps men need a rival to bust their b*lls at all times.

Tae: You can't call that a deserted island anymore.

Tae: And what do b*lls have to do with anything?

Sign ,Sign: Gahhh

Tae: Could you knock it off?

Tae: If you're going to make a scene, I'll have to ask you to leave.

HB : Before that,

HB : could you stop deciphering my hard-boiled monologues and weaponizing them?

Tae: But if you really do want to drink,

Tae: I've got all night.

Hij: There's no way I'd get drunk if you served me with that sad look.

Hij: If you have questions, ask me when sober instead of setting up a party as an excuse.

Hij: Though I'm afraid I don't have any answers to give you.

Hij: I mean, I've got no idea what to do myself.

Hij: Due to that, my comrades have all drifted apart.

Hij: Demonic Vice Chief, my ass.

Hij: Without him,

Hij: I can't do anything.

Sas: That's not true.

Sas: You're doing well.

Sas: Even though you lost everything due to your foolish bosses,

Sas: you're still working as a cop, doing whatever you can for Edo.

Sas: Allow me to offer you a word of praise as the Commissioner-General of Police,

Sas: loser.

Nb: I thought I told you to forget about work today, Sasaki.

Nb: Sneaking into town to get a peek at the lives of plebeians

Nb: was a hobby of the previous shogun, Lord Shigeshige, was it not?

Nb: Then I shall follow suit.

Nb: Continue drinking as you were.

Nb: Tonight, consider me merely Nobunobu.

Nb: Let me hear you mongrels howl.

J: You're Okita Sogo of the Shinsengumi, correct?

Oki: Go away. You've got the wrong person.

J: Come with us quietly—

Oki: Didn't you hear me?

Oki: I'm sayin' that doesn't exist anymore.

Oki: Or what?

Oki: Did you flies swarm here thinkin' you could get revenge now that we've split up?

Oki: Right now, I'm just a manslayer on the loose.

Oki: Instead of sending you pigs to the sty, I'll throw you into the hotpot called hell.

Oki: And now that I don't have any jobs or duties to worry about, I'll do it my way.

J: You—

Kag: Outta the way.

Kag: You're hindering our walk.

Smile,Sign: Snack Smile

Nb: I have booked this entire place tonight.

Nb: Drink to your heart's content, everyone.

Nb: Drink up.

Nb: Join me in raising a toast to Lord Shigeshige's happiness in the afterlife.

Nb: Or would you rather toast to your boss's afterlife instead?

Sas: You're jumping the g*n, Nobunobu-sama.

Sas: Matsudaira Katakuriko and Kondo Isao don't get ex*cuted for another five days.

Sas: Those under their patronage may yet stage a rebellion.

Sas: I told you to forget about work today.

Sas: And I've already hunted down everyone who could rebel against me.

Sas: To confirm that,

Sas: how about we put him in charge of security for the execution and see what happens?

Sas: It would be rather amusing to make a man oversee his former boss's execution.

Sas: And it would be the perfect opportunity to test his loyalty to me.

Sas: If he were to shed a single tear,

Sas: we could put him in charge of security for his other comrades' executions, too.

Sas: What's the matter?

Sas: You still won't drink?

Sas: Are you saying you won't drink what I offer you?

Sas: That is understandable.

Sas: This vulgar liquid can hardly be called alcohol.

G: W-We're terribly sorry!

G: Lord Shigeshige seemed to like this one...

Nb: I see.

Nb: I'm sorry, but could I ask you to dispose of these?

G: R-Right away!

Nb: Not that.

Nb: I meant disposing of you two.

Nb: Did you really think I would be satisfied by the same things as him?

Nb: I, Tokugawa Nobunobu, am the man who will bring about a new era.

Nb: Thus, my alcohol, women, and subordinates must far surpass their predecessors.

Nb: If you do not have fine wine, bring me fine women.

Tae: What the hell are you people doing?

Tae: Hurting innocent folk one after another,

Tae: changing the world to what suits you best...

Tae: New era?

Tae: Who in their right mind would follow people like you?!

Tae: If you don't protect the populace that keeps the country afloat,

Tae: how can you call yourself a shogun?

Tae: How can you call yourself police?!

HB : Otae-chan!

Nb: This is my new era.

Nb: Which means that incompetent police who can protect the populace but not the shogun

Nb: and incompetent shoguns who die unable to protect the country

Nb: have no place here.

Nb: Nor do the foolish people who oppose this new era.

Tae: Real police...

Tae: Real samurai wouldn't do this.

Tae: That man

Tae: would never do something like this.

Gin: Save that punch for the idiot boss who left you guys behind.

Gin: This isn't a matter for you cops.

Gin: A drunk is best punched by another drunk.

C: Y-You knave!

C: What have you done to the shogun?!

Sas: Hello?

Sas: Are you alive, Nobunobu-sama?

Sas: Mind if I take this chance to exchange email addresses?

Text,Sign: To: Nobutas The shogun got his teeth bashed in again lol

Sas: Sheesh. Just when your wounds from before had almost healed, too.

Sas: How sad.

Sas: Sakata-san...

Sas: I never expected you to act out before Hijikata-san.

Sas: For a worthless reason,

Sas: you went and committed a sin that a hundred disembowelments couldn't atone for.

Gin: Are you kidding me?

Gin: I'm in the running for that moronic lord's most loyal retainer.

Gin: "I wanna forget all about work and drink tonight."

Gin: That's what the man lying there, merely Nobunobu-san, said.

Gin: All I did was play along.

Gin: You wanted to know how we plebs live, right?

Gin: Down here, bite someone and they'll bite back.

Gin: It's common sense.

Gin: Don't be swinging your fist down at people if you're not ready to get punched.

Gin: Tell your ignorant little rich boy that,

Gin: you lapdogs.

Oki: Hey.

Oki: What's the meaning of this?

Oki: Don't you see the situation?

Oki: What did you come here to do?

Kag: Aren't you a policeman?

Kag: At least deal with the traffic, then.

Kag: I can't even walk my dog like this.

Oki: There's no policeman here.

Oki: Haven't you heard? We've already—

Kag: If you've already disbanded,

Kag: why are you still wearing that?

Kag: I heard that you protected Soyo-chan back then.

Kag: From that pain-in-the-ass moron.

Oki: It means nothing when I couldn't protect the one who mattered most.

Oki: The princess probably resents me, too,

Oki: as nothing but a manslayer who couldn't protect her brother.

Kag: Well, she did nothing but curse you,

Kag: saying she couldn't eat liver or offal anymore because of you.

Kag: As long as it's not those two, she says she'll book a restaurant up your alley,

Kag: and to let her know what you like before she invites you.

Kag: The Shinsengumi may be gone,

Kag: but that doesn't change the fact that there are lives you've saved.

Kag: It doesn't change the fact that you protected two girls.

Kag: Don't worry.

Kag: Even if you don't wear that outfit, we know.

Kag: We know that you...

Kag: That you guys are cops.

Kag: No matter what you all do from now on, we know the Shinsengumi.

Kag: So quit moping around in a place like this.

Kag: Go break the gorilla out of his cage or deal with traffic.

Kag: Just do your job already.

Oki: Wait, are you cheering me up right now?

Oki: Did you think I was depressed?

Kag: As if.

Kag: I'm just telling you to change out of those rags already 'cause they stink.

Oki: That settles it.

Oki: I'm never taking my uniform off again.

Oki: I sure as hell ain't gonna do what you tell me.

Oki: Hear that, scrubs?

Oki: So long as I still wear this uniform,

Oki: the Shinsengumi won't die.

Oki: As such, you guys are gonna be massacred either way!

J: Nothing's changed!

J: Would you listen to us?! We're—

Oki: Too late to beg for your lives!

Kag: You're hindering our walk!

Ymz: Wait! Hold on, Captain Okita!

Sas: I see.

Sas: The shogun may change, and so may the era,

Sas: but fools will stay fools, huh?

Sas: Release her.

Sas: Treat the wounded.

Sas: True, Nobunobu-sama went too far tonight.

Sas: Rather than let the new government's reputation get even worse,

Sas: it'd save time to have a single fool take all the blame.

Tae: Gin-san!

Sas: What are you doing, Hijikata-san?

HB : We can't let you take him away.

HB : If we kept quiet here,

HB : we wouldn't be cops anymore, let alone hard-boiled.

HB : Right, Boss?

HB : Regardless of who you're up against,

HB : if we can't tell who we should punish and who we should protect,

HB : we cops are done for.

HB : You guys are the weird ones here.

HB : At this rate, this country will fall to ruin, Commissioner-General.

HB : I gulped down those words along with my Camus.

HB : There are some things men can't say out loud.

HB : Don't hide in your hard-boiled monologues now!

Sas: Do you know why humans have survived for five billion years

Sas: in Earth's ever-changing environment?

Sas: It's because we adapt.

Sas: To put it in terms simple enough for you non-elites to understand,

Sas: when a new Sentai series begins, you go,

Sas: "I won't accept this! Bioman was better,"

Sas: every time, don't you?

Sas: But by the time the series ends,

Sas: you find it hard to say goodbye to Changeman as well.

Sas: Humans have survived this long by adapting to all kinds of changes like that.

Sas: Yes, the heroes this time don't protect the weak.

Sas: But you'll get used to it eventually.

Sas: No, you have no choice but to get used to it.

Sas: Because as much as you might lament or fight that fact,

Sas: the old era, and the old heroes, won't ever come back.

Sas: If you don't adapt, you'll just walk the path of destruction, like the Shinsengumi.

Hij: If I may, Commissioner-General,

Hij: none of us has d*ed yet.

Sas: That is if you stay put right there, Hijikata-san.

Sas: If you so much as lift a finger,

Sas: you and your comrades will vanish from history as traitors.

Sas: It should be clear to you now...

Sas: You can no longer be heroes.

Kat: Are you leaving, sirs?

Kat: But you haven't partaken of your orders yet.

Kat: I was just bringing them to you.

Stick,Sign: Nasty Stick

Sas: I don't recall ever ordering those.

Kat: Oh...

Kat: It was the customer who was sitting over there until just now,

Kat: a man in his tighty-whities, who ordered them for you.

Sas: Tighty-whities?

Kat: We've already been paid for them, so there's no need for that.

Kat: We don't expect anything from the bakufu or the police anymore.

Kat: Because there's a hero right here.

Oki: What's going on here?

Oki: Why are you guys with Joi Rebels?

Oki: Hey, Yamazaki. What are you playing at?

Ymz: Why are you singling me out?

Ymz: You always treat me like an extra, but you single me out now?!

Oki: Depending on your answer, somebody's gonna get hurt real bad.

Oki: You.

Ymz: Y-You've got it wrong, Captain Okita!

Ymz: Hey, say something!

Sign Middle,Sign: Something

Sign L,: Something

Ymz: I didn't ask you to break out that classic gag!

Kag: Eli?

Oki: You guys are with Katsura?!

Sign R,Sign: Calm down, Sogo-kun.

Oki: Shimaru-niisan...

Sign L,Sign: There's a reason for this.

Sign R,Sign: The thing is...

Sign L,Sign: The thing is...

Oki: Uh...

Sign R,Sign: Listen to me!

Sign L,Sign: No, listen to me!

Sign R,Sign: No, me!

Oki: Hey...

Sign L,Sign: I said me, damn it!

Sign R,Sign: My story's better!

Sign L,Sign: Mine's deeper!

Sign R,Sign: Mine's more serious!

Oki: Your characters and placards are overlapping too much for me to understand.

Sign L,Sign: Mine's sharper!

Sign R,Sign: Mine's more awesome!

Sign L,Sign: You're seriously annoying!

Sign R,Sign: Shut it, my former pet!

Sign L,Sign: Get lost, my former owner!

Sign R,Sign: But you loved me so much!

Sign L,Sign: I was obviously pretending.

Sign R,Sign: You tricked me?!

Sign L,Sign: Fool you once, shame on you.

Sign R,Sign: Say what?!

Sign R,Sign: Takes one to know one!

Sign L,Sign: Stupid! Stupid!

Sign Middle,Sign: Anyway, we mean you no harm.

Oki: Uh, you're not the least bit convincing.

Sign L,Sign: We come here not as Shinsengumi or Joi Rebels.

Sign Middle,Sign: We came to talk as simply samurai.

C: It's a smokescreen!

Kat: Hurry up and go.

Kat: Gintoki...

Kat: Let us meet at dawn.

Gin: What's that bastard playing at?!

Kon: A newcomer?

Kon: You must be quite the heinous criminal to get thrown in here.

Kon: What did you do?

Kat: Beats me.

Kat: I don't think I did anything wrong,

Kat: but if I had to say, it'd be that I picked a huge fight with the country.

Kon: I see.

Kon: I'm the opposite.

Kon: I thought I was protecting the country, but ended up in here before I knew it.

Kon: How ironic.

Kon: We'd be enemies if we met outside,

Kon: but in here, we're fellow inmates tied to the same prison.

Kon: Well, this relationship won't last too long.

Kon: How about we let bygones be bygones and get along?

Kat: It is as you say.

Kat: At this point, the outside world is the same as this place.

Kat: Everyone is an inmate, tied to a prison we call the state.

Kat: If we don't forget about allies, enemies, grudges, and fight as one,

Kat: the country itself will be ex*cuted.

Kat: Joi Rebels alone cannot overturn this situation.

Kat: So let me ask you as well,

Kat: Shinsengumi Chief, Kondo Isao.

Kat: Lend me your strength, so that we might protect this country.

TBC,Sign: To Be Continued

Preview Blue,Sign: Preview

Hij: We can't protect anything.

Oki: Article of the Shinsengumi Code:

Oki: "When the Chief is away, the Vice Chief will have full control of the squad."

Gin: It's still not too late.

Kat: If you have something to protect,

Kat: then break out of that crooked cage.

Mat: Who's the crazy one here?

Title: Farewell Shinsengumi Arc Part Three

Title: Lost and Found

text r: Katsura enters the prison where Kondo's being held

text l: as a fellow inmate.

text r: Meanwhile, Hijikata still hasn't shaken off his despair.

text l: Will he be able to rise again?