08x05 - The Two Fools

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gintama". Aired: April 4, 2006 - October 7, 2018.*
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
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08x05 - The Two Fools

Post by bunniefuu »

What's goin' on aboard their ships?

The enemy's got some kind of monster-level hacker, if they can do this.

Your fleet is in my hands.

You don't have long before you must make your decision.

Gintama,: Gintama

The_Battle_on_Ra,: The Battle on Rakuyo

Warning,: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!!!!!

Gu: The one best suited to sit on that throne is not Shigeshige.

Gu: It is you.

Gu: You are the only one who can save this country.

S: Nobunobu-sama...

S: Young Master...

S: Nobunobu-sama...

S: Sheesh, what a bunch of jerks.

S: They're even attackin' our guest?

S: I'm sorry my crew was so rude, Shogun-sama.

S: Battle on Rakuyo Part Five

S: The Two Fools

Harusame__Forces,: Harusame Forces

Takasugi,: Takasugi and Umibozu

Gintoki_vs__Bato,: Gintoki vs. Bato

Katsura_vs__Shok,: Katsura vs. Shokaku

Sakamoto_vs__Han,: Sakamoto vs. Hankai

: Just like I thought.

: Everyone who wasn't on the bridge is bein' controlled by the enemy virus.

M: I can see bite marks.

M: Looks like it's spread via direct infection.

M: It's just like Resident Evil.

S: In the game, we'd just blow their heads off with a Magnum,

S: but since they're our allies, all we can do is run.

M: We've also got a Spelunker-level weak-ass to take care of.

S: Reality is such a bullshit game.

Gu: I don't recall asking for help.

M: I'm sure. And I don't recall helping you.

M: I only followed the captain's orders.

Gu: What are you planning?

Gu: I'm the one who k*lled Shogun Shigeshige

Gu: and put your comrades in such dire straits.

S: If I intended to k*ll you, I wouldn't have brought you on this ship.

Gu: You're the one who said I was no longer worth using.

Gu: Even if you don't have a single soldier to protect you,

Gu: and you're forced to let the enemy spare your pathetic life,

Gu: you don't have the right to die.

Gu: You have a duty to witness the fate of the country,

Gu: along with the effects your deeds had on it.

Gu: No matter how much you have to disgrace yourself.

Gu: It doesn't matter if you're a wise ruler or a foolish one.

Gu: Once a man bears the burden of leadin' a country,

Gu: he can't expect dying to be that simple.

M: Hey. We've got a call from the bridge.

M: I tried to track the enemy's location through their communications,

M: but as I thought, they're carefully hidden.

S: So we have to track down the Zaku by fumblin' in the dark, huh?

S: Who knows how long that'll take?

Gu: Do you mean the mechanical man?

S: D-Don't tell me...

S: I guess the hardest thing to see is what's right under your nose.

S: The enemy's been aboard this ship from the start,

S: releasing the nanomachine virus and watching us panic?

M: So why hack the other ships and have them att*ck us?

M: You're absolutely sure you saw him head this way, right?

Gu: It's up to you whether or not you believe me.

Gu: That won't change the truth in what I saw.

S: Most likely, the att*ck and the virus were both just smokescreens.

S: His real goal is the Kairinmaru.

S: The central system on the Kairinmaru is equipped with the latest in firewalls.

S: It ain't gonna be easy to infiltrate.

S: In other words, what's goin' on right now

S: is an attempt to buy time until the enemy can take over the Kairinmaru.

S: Mutsu, the enemy's in the control room.

S: Let's hurry.

S: Not only did he save me, his enemy,

S: but he believed me.

S: Is he a big man, or just a big fool?

S: Sakamoto Tatsuma...

S: He's a strange man.

S: What's wrong, Shogun-sama?

S: You're starin' at Mutsu's ass and not sayin' a thing.

Gu: What are you—

M: Oh, no. It looks like the Kairinmaru is rusting in places.

M: It needs maintenance.

Background: You little...

M: Hey, captain. Switch places.

Background: I would never be interested in the ass of a low-born girl!

S: Wait, that's dangerous!

S: Okay then, Shogun-sama, you can stare at my ass.

S: And I can stare at Mutsu's ass...

M: You can go get your ass chewed on by the infected.

M: I'll hurry on to the control room in the meantime.

S: W-Wait!

Gu: You bastard!

Gu: You let your crew treat you that way, and you call yourself a captain?

S: I don't wanna hear it from a shogun who was abandoned by his retainers!

Gu: I wasn't abandoned.

Gu: I abandoned them!

Gu: Just draw your g*n!

S: Hell no!

S: Even if my men abandon me, I won't abandon them!

S: I'm a space trader!

S: I have all kinds of space-stuff to deal with a situation like this!

S: The HikikomoRevolver!

S: A g*n that fires a net that entangles the enemy,

S: symbolizing the way that the net traps modern kids and turns them into hikikomori.

K: So he's trying to immobilize the enemy?

S: Here goes.

S: Okay, now they can't touch us.

S: And we can't touch them, either.

K: I didn't expect him to use it like that.

K: Sakamoto Tatsuma...

K: Is he a big man, or just a big fool?

K: I just don't understand him!

K: But we're stuck now, too!

S: No need to worry.

S: I thought this might happen, so...

S: NEETly Rice Cakes!

S: Scattering these and getting your enemy to eat them

S: symbolizes the way NEET society causes a NEET to waste their potential by

S: devouring their parents' income.

K: Is he trying to delay the enemy?

S: We can hang out here for a while now.

K: I didn't expect him to use it like that.

K: Sakamoto Tatsuma...

K: Is he a big man, or just a big fool?

K: I don't understand him at all!

M: He's just a big fool, obviously!

M: Are you so useless, you make your retainers play the straight man?!

M: You fools!

S: My steamed buns!

S: Hey, I didn't say you could have those!

S: When you get back to normal, you'll pay for this.

K: He's definitely just a fool.

K: Both he and I are fools who can't even get a single one of our men

K: to do what we want.

K: So why doesn't he give up?

K: Why does he look as if he knows he's not alone?

K: What's the difference between him and me?

K: I don't like it!

K: I don't—

S: Close the door!

S: Where's the enemy?

M: Were we wrong?

H: No, I'm here.

S: Mutsu!

H: The enemy's here.

H: Right inside this man.

S: Nobunobu, you...

K: M-My body isn't doing what I want it to!

K: I see!

K: By that time, my body was already...

H: Yes.

H: It's not yours anymore.

H: The rd Division Commander, Hankai,

H: has no body of his own.

H: If he did have a body, it would only be a container.

H: What's inside you now is me.

S: So you invaded Nobunobu's body to get at me?

H: Your guess was wrong.

H: I can take over the systems on this ship with my virus.

H: As you saw, I took over your crew.

H: And...

H: Your last remaining companion, too.

H: You're all that's left, Sakamoto Tatsuma.

H: An army without soldiers.

H: That's what they call the rd Division.

H: But it appears that name is better suited to you.

H: The Kaientai you once commanded will become my rd Division.

H: Don't worry as you die.

H: Nobody will cry over your death.

S: Even if my men abandon me, I won't abandon them!

S: You want my crew and my ship?

S: Then let me give you a warning as a merchant.

S: If you want to buy a company,

S: you should investigate it thoroughly first.

S: Unfortunately, my company's been responsible for a death,

S: so we're hellbound anyway.

Gu: A serious problem has occurred with the control system.

Gu: The system will now move to emergency mode.

Gu: All crew, please evacuate immediately.

H: Have you gone mad?

H: Did you decide to destroy the Kaientai and this ship rather than lose everything?

S: A man who's not willing to go down with his ship

S: doesn't have the right to fly with it.

S: Are you willing to do that?

K: Don't tell me he...

H: The damage to the system is minimal.

H: If I compensate for the lost functionality myself,

H: it can be restored easily.

H: You will be the only one to sink,

H: Sakamoto Tatsuma!

N: That's what Sakamoto Tatsuma wanted!

N: He sh*t the control device to try to

N: rip out the enemy that's inside me...

N: He still won't abandon me, after all this?

N: Even when I...

H: Sorry, Shogun,

H: but you should save your thinking for when you're alone.

H: I can hear every detail of your plan.

H: Shogun, I can tell exactly what you're thinking.

H: Is this feeling anger, or sadness?

H: The only person who tried to protect you d*ed for your sake.

H: Now nobody's left, huh?

H: You were used by everyone,

H: lifted up, and placed at the top just like they wanted.

H: And that's why you...

K: Yes.

K: I used everyone, too.

K: But when I sat at the top, I realized...

K: I thought this was what people wanted,

K: but nobody was there.

K: Why did I come all this way?

K: There was no reason.

K: You were empty from the start.

K: You could only find your own goals by being used by others.

K: This isn't the top.

K: It's just a place for you playthings that have been thrown away...

H: Just a graveyard for junk.

H: Useless junk like you can just lie on the ground and rot.

H: For eternity.

S: It doesn't matter if you're a wise ruler or a foolish one.

S: Once a man bears the burden of leadin' a country,

S: he can't expect dying to be that simple.

K: Sakamoto Tatsuma, why did you let me live?

K: Now that I'm the last one left, what is it you want me to do?

H: You...

K: No, I won't ask any more questions.

K: I have to find the answers myself.

K: I have to make it to the top on my own two legs!

S: For us as well as you, the real battle is comin' up.

K: Now!

H: Don't tell me...

H: Even when infected, you're still in control of yourself?

K: That is my fight, Sakamoto Tatsuma!

Gu: Climb!

Gu: We can't!

Gu: The damage to the control system is bad!

Gu: At this rate, we're going to crash!

Gu: No! They've caught up to us!

Gu: We're doomed!

Gu: Come in, Kairinmaru!

Gu: We will support your ship.

Gu: While we do, put all your energies into restoring the system!

Gu: Y-You guys...

Gu: You took back your ship?

Gu: Hey, look!

Gu: Our crewmates who were controlled by the virus have returned to their senses?

Gu: Get moving!

Gu: Now it's our turn to save the captain!

K: So a battle between two leaders with no soldiers

K: was decided by their soldiers?

K: He never abandoned his soldiers.

K: And you never abandoned him.

K: That's something rarer and more valuable than the

K: greatest ruler or the most loyal retainer.

K: You know it's true because I'm saying it.

M: A ruler is like an empty ship.

M: Only after it has a crew can it sail

M: toward where everyone wants to go.

M: That's why the crew never abandons their ship.

M: And the ship tries its best to protect the crew from the waves.

M: Your ship couldn't stand under the weight of its task.

M: No matter how great the ship,

M: an empty ship with only one person on board can't go anywhere.

K: If that's the case, where is this rickety ship of yours heading?

M: If I knew the answer to that, this would all be far easier.

M: Maybe you, even as you stand on board, are its goal.

M: In the wide, open sea, where there are no landmarks,

M: even the waves a ship leaves in its wake can become a guide.

M: That's why this rickety ship will take even you in.

M: Mistakes, glory, good, evil, dreams, karma...

M: It's carrying all that.

M: Even so, the rickety ship keeps going, searching for a tomorrow

M: where everyone can smile.

K: That explains why it doesn't sink.

K: To you, even I'm not deadweight, but a sail.

S: This is the only way I can fight, you know.

Gu: Sakamoto-san, hang in there!

Gu: Sakamoto-san!

S: Don't make such a fuss.

S: Our leader will scold you.

T: You're the one who's getting a scolding.

T: You're supposed to be the dragon of Katsurahama,

T: and you got your butt kicked.

T: What happened?

Gu: He was immobilized on the b*ttlefield.

Gu: He was trying to carry a wounded enemy,

Gu: and both he and the enemy were...

T: Looks like you really do need a lecture.

S: Give me a break.

S: I was lucky to survive,

S: and now you're trying to finish me?

T: As a samurai,

T: you're already dead.

S: So I was right, huh?

S: It's going to suck not being able to peel an apple with a sword.

T: You were a terrible samurai to begin with.

T: It's an idiotic ending, so it suits you.

G: He ain't dead.

G: There's more to being a samurai than swinging a sword.

G: There's more to w*r than k*lling the enemy.

G: Sakamoto Tatsuma's wars

G: aren't the kind of petty things that can be ended with a stick.

T: You remember the enemy's face?

S: You guys...

T: Unfortunately, I like those petty wars.

G: You fight your w*r.

G: We'll fight ours.

G: Looks like I drew the winning card.

G: We finally meet.

B: Yes, that's what you said.

B: Now it's my turn to say it.

B: We finally meet,

B: samurai.

Gu: Gin-san!

G: Hey.

G: Somebody drew on your face.

G: Your forehead!

G: You should go look at a mirror!

G: No, not with the evil eye. The ones below it.

G: Oh, damn, I just realized your eyes are sewn shut.

G: Pirates play the craziest pranks when you're asleep!

G: Hey, you guys watching from the shadows!

G: I can tell you're laughing!

G: Even if you're pirates, that's going too far.

G: You can't just sew his eyelids shut!

G: He can't even see the drawing you made on his forehead now!

G: You don't get to see his reaction!

G: And listen, you need to tell them when they're going too far.

G: Here, use this to wipe it off.

G: Oh, you can't see it?

G: You may be the type that's easily picked on, but still...

G: There's a fine line between picking on and bullying.

G: Huh?

G: Man, I can't get this to come off.

B: I thought my face was easier to remember than most.

B: But if you're a swordsman,

B: there's no way you could have forgotten this sword.

B: The sword of the Star Sword King, the greatest of all swordsman in the universe!

Gu: Wh-What's going on?

Gu: Who is that monster?

Gu: He's Bato, one of the Three Mad Stars

Gu: and commander of the Harusame's nd Division!

Gu: He's the strongest individual fighter the Harusame has.

Gu: He's hunted and slain all the swordsmen of other worlds,

Gu: and now he's coming to hunt the swordsmen of Earth.

Gu: No, maybe he's here to hunt the prey that escaped him before!

Gu: Gin-san!

G: Go.

G: Looks like he's my guest.

Gu: A samurai's pride is on the line in this battle.

Gu: If he loses, he'll join the countless samurai he's defeated.

Gu: You would have us bet all the pride of every samurai on you?

G: I've got no intention of carrying that burden.

G: But no matter how many people he's beaten, or where,

G: I've beaten the guy you bet on many times.

G: And he's beaten me.

G: That pride, I will never abandon.

Gu: Let's go, kid.

Gu: If you're a samurai, fight a battle worthy of the man you bet on!

Gu: They will return. I know it.

Gu: Let's show them...

Gu: Let's show the universe what a samurai is!

B: Did you remember this moment, samurai?

B: The moment of joy that only we share,

B: as we entrust our lives to our blades?

B: I had given up on any blade ever threatening my life.

B: You were the only one who ever gave me a moment like this!

B: Samurai!

B: I've missed you!

G: It's like he can see where I'm going to strike next!

B: That's right.

B: I can see it.

B: My eye sees all.

B: My species once had no ears or mouths, I heard.

B: We did all our communication with this one eye that's called Enlightenment.

B: I closed my eyes and ears to awaken my "Enlightenment,"

B: which vanished from my species in the distant past.

G: That's right...

G: He's the one who...

G: I was the one who was looking for you.

G: Give back my yen!

B: No, that's not right.

G: What? You're not the guy who swiped the yen I found first?

B: No, that's not me.

G: Wait, maybe it was yen...

B: It doesn't matter whether it was yen or yen.

B: I can read minds and I have a different looking face, and his was a mole.

B: Everything is different about us!

G: No, no, no. I didn't forget!

G: I remember!

G: I see.

G: He's the one who...

G: I've come to give back your yen!

B: No, I wasn't the guy who lent you yen.

G: Yeah, that's right.

G: It was actually more like yen, not yen...

B: It doesn't matter whether it was yen or yen.

B: Seriously, it has nothing to do with yen.

B: You're insulting me. I spent ten years looking for you.

G: I swear I remember!

G: I've been looking for you for ten years, too!

B: I remember that battle like it was yesterday.

B: Pakuyasa!

G: You've got the wrong guy, too!

Preview,: Preview

G: You get people's names wrong.

G: You get people's faces wrong.

G: You rely too much on that eye on your forehead.

G: I don't think that's a good thing.

G: When you receive a business card, you should write down something memorable

G: about them on the back.

G: Battle on Rakuyo Part

: Next time: Ten Years.

G: Ten Years

Next time: Next time, the unknown past of Pakuyasa...

Next time: ...Forget that, who the hell is he, anyway?

Next time: But more importantly,

Next time: he is finally about to awaken...
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