Gintama,Sign: Gintama
Sign: The Story So Far
Shin: The land of the samurai.
Shin: There was a time, long ago, when our country was called by that name.
Shin: Now, the world has entered a Great Pirate Era!
Shin: By a twist of fate, our hero Gin-san ate a Wave Wave Fruit, gained a perm,
Shin: decided to solve all his problems with money,
Shin: and left on a journey to find the Pirate King's treasure.
Boom: ,Boom!
Gin: I'm gonna be the king of the nouveau rich!
Shin: On his travels,
Internal: ,he met a girl looking for seven balls that can summon a shining dragon:
Internal: ,the genius beauty Kagura-chan.
Kag: I'll let you feel all the romance.
Shin: On the way, they also picked up a glasses monster.
Shin: Shinpachu!
Kag: Wow, you must be a glasses Friend!
Gin: Hey, Shinpachu, bring out the Japari Bus. I'm tired of walking.
Shin: They all worked together,
Shin: defeated the terrifying evil overlord,
Sign: Two Years Later...
Shin: and two years later,
Shin: the three of them reunited at the Jabondy Archipelago
Sign: World Chunin Hunter Hero Exam
Shin: and were about to take the World Chunin Hunter Hero Exam...
Shin: Are you kidding me?
Shin: What the hell is this recap?!
Gin: Y'know, we've been doing a bunch of long arcs, reruns, and breaks lately,
Gin: so I wrote that, figuring we should casually look back on the story.
Shin: You casually filled it with lies!
Shin: And you ripped off too many series!
Kag: Roughly put, the story did go something like that.
Kag: In the last long arc, for example, we went to another planet out in space
Kag: and fought a combat race whose strong emotions awakened their powers.
Shin: Uh, that is somewhat right, but...
Shin: Hell, you were basically the star of that arc. Sure you wanna sum it up that way?
Shin: Listen up.
Shin: We didn't learn the Whateverhameha or become Whatever Masters.
Shin: We're not headed for the Whatever Line, either!
Sign: ShogunAssassination
Sign: FarewellShinsengumi
Shin: We were originally supposed to enter the final long arc now,
Sign: Battle onRakuyo
Sign: Final Arc?
Shin: but stuff happened, and now we're here.
Sign: Slip Arc
Shin: Gin-san, you're basically a guy with a perm and dead fish eyes.
Sign: Kabuki District First
Shin: You run an odd jobs business in Edo's Kabuki District.
Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Shin: Kagura-chan, you're one of the Yato, a combat race,
Shin: a glutton, and you always carry an umbrella.
Shin: And I, Shinpachi,
Shin: am Suda Masaki in D.
Bo: How long are you gonna keep talking about the live-action movie?
Gin: Enough with the Suda nonsense! No more Granbluing!
Kag: Y'know, the more you do that, the more miserable you'll be.
Kag: Open your eyes!
Shin: But I have to ride this wave and get myself a hottie image!
Kag: What others do doesn't matter to us!
Gin: Come on! Let's start the anime already!
Bo: Okay...
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright roomand at a safe distance from your TV!
UB: Yeah, the sunshine on Earth is too much to handle.
UB: I feel like I'm going bald.
UB: Earth really isn't a planet we Yato are meant to live on.
UB: Kagura-chan said it didn't bother her,but will she really be okay?
UB: Sure, she may be fine now,
UB: but what if staying here too long affects her body—
G: Hey, check that out.
G: That old dude's got an umbrella even though it ain't raining.
G: He should probably get some sun and photosynthesize or something.
G: It'd help his head.
UB: Hey!
UB: What in the world happened to you two?
UB: Your entire body is toasted!
Punk: What do you think you're doing, old man?
UB: Hang in there! I'll call an ambulance now!
G: No, call the cops instead!
G: Somebody help!
UB: This planet really is dangerous.
UB: If Kagura-chan stays here, someday...
UB: Her whole body might end up toasted, and she might bring home a toasted boyfriend.
TB: We're already expecting.
UB: There might be a new toasted life growing in her womb.
UB: We'd have no choice but to throwa shotgun wedding in the shadows.
UB: But in a matter of months, her married life would be toast.
TB: It's all b*rned!
UB: Unable to fend for herself and her child as a single toast mother...
Kag: Oh dear, mister. Your whole body's so toasted.
UB: She'd start working at a shady shop.
UB: Eventually, even her heart would be toasted black, and...
Cop: We found a b*rned, toasted will.
Sign: Forgive me, Daddy.
UB: I won't stand for it!
UB: Daddy will not accept toast of any sort!
UB: If you stay here, everything will be toast!
UB: I'm gonna take her back before everything becomes toast!
G: Hey, sir.
Sign: Hair Growth Powder{\fs\b}Toasty{\b}{\fs}A magical way to hide your hair loss{\fs\c&HD&}Free Trial Period
G: We're running a free trial period right now.
G: Would you like to try it?
G: One spray, and your head will be a toasty black.
UB: I won't stand for it!
UB: Only Daddy's head needs to be toasty!
UB: That's enough! Daddy has enough hair on his head!
UB: Be it Daddy's hair or your life here on Earth, this is plenty!
UB: You should say goodbye to this rotten place...
UB: That's Kagura-chan.
UB: Thank goodness. Looks like she's not toasted yet.
Sign: Kagura-chan
Boy: Um, here.
Boy: You can give me your answer some other time.
Boy: Bye.
Kag: Hey, wait.
Kag: What is this?
Kag: Let's see...
Kag: Dear Kagura-chan...
Sign: Dear Kagura-chan,Ever since we first met,I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.
Kag: Ever since we first met, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."
Kag: All this while, I've played with you like you were one of the guys,
road safety: ,Road Safety Be careful up ahead!!
Kag: but I can't suppress these feelings anymore.
Kag: Please go out with me.
Kag: My heart is
Kag: burning with such passionate love for you
Kag: that it is now toasted pitch-black.
Ep Title,Title: The Stairs to AdulthoodMay Not Always Lead Up
Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Shin: Hey!
Shin: What the heck is this? What happened?
Gin: Pachi-boy, I asked you to get me a spoon.
Gin: If you're giving me such a massive spoon, give me a massive serving of pudding, too.
UB: I assume you're okay with that...
UB: as your last supper.
UB: You're okay with that?
Shin: U-Umibozu-san?
Gin: Oh, Pops. If you'd told us you were coming,
Gin: we would've got another pudding for you.
Gin: Did you go out of your way to get your own
Gin: shiny pudding?
UB: My head is not shiny pudding!
Gin: Why are you so cranky pudding as soon as you get here? Aren't you being rude?
UB: I don't wanna hear that from a guy who keeps calling my head pudding!
UB: You were supposed to look after my precious daughter! What were you looking at?
UB: This is the height of negligence!
Shin: Huh? Did something happen to Kagura-chan?
Kag: I'm home!
Kag: Huh? You're here, Daddy?
Kag: Long time no see.
UB: Kagura!
Kag: Perfect timing. I've got good news to share with you all.
UB: No! I don't wanna hear it!
Kag: I have a boyfriend now.
UB: Wait a second.
UB: Not "I got a love letter"?
UB: "Boyfriend"?
Kag: We're going on a date tomorrow.
Kag: What should I wear?
Gin: Uh, Shinpachi...
Gin: What's a "boyfriend" again?
Gin: Like these things?
Shin: No, that's a dry limb.
Shin: "Dry limb" and "boyfriend" barely sound alike.
Gin: Like this, then?
Shin: Uh, that's "boyfriend death."
Sign: Boyfriend DEATH
Shin: Get away from the tree already. Just take the guy.
Gin: Oh, so like this?
Shin: Why'd you turn it into Chris's evolution chart?
Shin: He just evolved from dry limbs to more dry limbs!
UB: How could this be?
UB: He said he'd wait for his answer, but she gave it to him so quickly?
UB: And she said okay?!
UB: What're you gonna do about this?
UB: This wouldn't have happened if you'd kept an eye on her!
Gin: Calm down. This has to be some bad joke.
Gin: Kagura, of all people, could never get a boyfriend.
UB: You're right.
UB: This has to be some kind of bad joke or bad dream, right?
Gin: Exactly.
Gin: Who'd fall for that vulgar, gluttonous mass with no sex appeal—that hurloine?
Gin: She probably just got Punk'd or something.
Gin: She's your daughter. She inherited all your unlucky genes.
Gin: Have more faith in her.
UB: You're right!
UB: This couldn't happen to a girl who was swimming in my filthy b*lls...
UB: Who're you calling a filthy b*ll girl?!
Gin: I never went that far.
Gin: Please, cool off your b*ll head for a sec.
Gin: Don't worry. This can't be real.
Shin: You never know.
Shin: I've heard that even grade schoolers are dating these days.
Shin: And while Kagura-chan may look childish, she's fourteen.
Shin: Besides, if you go just by looks, she's a beauty.
Shin: Considering all that—
UB: Hey, what do you mean, grade schoolers?
UB: Has this planet gotten that dirty?
Earth,Sign: Earth
UB: Earth?
UB: More like Dirth!
Dirth,Sign: Dirth
UB: Can I destroy it now?
UB: Can I get serious now?
Shin: Please calm down.
Shin: I called it "dating," but they're just playing.
Shin: It's all just a game!
Gin: Hey...
Gin: What do you mean, it's just a game?
Shin: Not you, too!
Gin: Don't tell me they satisfy their urges,
Gin: wrap the girl with paper from their Japonica Notebooks, and chuck her in the trash.
Gin: If they do that,
Gin: can I stick jet packs in their backpacks and pitch them to the edge of the galaxy?
Gin: Can I turn them into the backpack constellation?
Shin: Calm down, both of you!
Shin: I'm just speaking hypothetically!
Shin: You're getting too worked up!
Shin: Also, if you're so bothered by it, you could just ask Kagura-chan directly!
UB: Y-You go.
Gin: Why me? Aren't you her father?
UB: Shut up! That's exactly why I don't know how to face her at times like these!
UB: You could bring it up casually.
UB: Just go already.
Gin: What are you saying? You sound pathetic.
Gin: Shinpachi, you go.
Shin: Where did that come from?
Gin: Shaddup.
Gin: When you're trying to climb the stairs to adulthood,
Gin: adults shouldn't be yelling at you from the top.
Gin: This calls for one nowhere near the stairs,
Gin: a primitive lifeform like you still groveling on the ground.
Shin: Who're you calling an amoeba?!
Shin: Jeez, fine.
Shin: I'll go ask her, then.
Gin: Wait, time out!
Shin: What is it?
Gin: Never mind. You don't have to ask her anything.
Shin: Make up your damn mind!
Kag: Boy, I'm so hungry.
Kag: Is dinner ready?
Kag: Wow, it's red rice!
Kag: What's up? Did something good happen?
UB: Huh? Uh, what's up, you ask?
Er...
UB: What was up, Gintoki-kun?
Gin: Huh? U-Uh, y'know, bo...
Gin: Boy...
Gin: Boy, oh, boy! Curry came out of your father's crotch!
Kag: What's so good about that?
UB: W-Well, I've been constipated lately,
UB: so, like, we're celebrating the tunnel opening?
Gin: Maybe we should've gone with curry instead of red rice, huh, Father?
UB: But it came out with such force that there was blood mixed in, too.
UB: It's okay this way, I say.
Kag: There goes my appetite.
Gin: Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Gin: We're sorry!
Gin: This isn't something we should talk about over dinner, huh?
UB: Hurry up and take a seat.
UB: Shinpachi-kun went to great pains to make this.
All: Let's eat!
Gin: Hey, ask her already, you stupid cue ball!
UB: Who do you think you're calling a cue ball?
UB: You're sorely mistaken if you think light hair doesn't fall off.
UB: Don't you know how it went with Uncle Jam?
Gin: You're the one with the Uncle Jam head!
UB: You're wasting the chance we made this celebratory red rice to create.
Gin: You don't intend to celebrate a hair on her head.
Gin: Your roots have all d*ed out, so what are you talking about?
UB: They haven't! They're just taking a break because it's half-time.
Gin: Are you that scared to find out the truth?
Gin: Are you that scared of your daughter growing up?
UB: I'm not the least bit scared.
UB: I just wanna say that when she leaves Earth,
UB: it'll be a long-distance relationship, and it'll be hard to keep up.
UB: You're the one feeling lonely because you feel like she's grown distant from you.
Gin: As if! In fact, that's exactly what I want.
Gin: I'm just worried she'll neglect her work because she's distracted by love.
Gin: I'm totally ready to celebrate this.
Gin: I'm totally gonna get another helping of red rice.
UB: Screw you!
UB: I'm eating more helpings!
Gin: Shut up!
Gin: I'll eat enough red beans to match my age!
UB: I'm older than you, so I can eat more!
Gin: Then I'll eat enough to match the number of hair roots I have!
UB: Then I'll eat enough to match the number of dead roots I have!
Gin: So you admit they've all d*ed out?!
Kag: What are those two morons doing?
Shin: S-Say, Kagura-chan...
Shin: You mentioned this earlier,
Shin: but is it true you got a boyfriend?
Kag: I don't really get it.
Kag: I got a love letter, but honestly, it hasn't sunk in yet.
Kag: I don't really understand all that love stuff, anyway.
Kag: But I could feel how much heart he put into what he wrote,
Kag: so I figured I could at least go on a date—
Bo: That won't do, Kagura-chan!
Gin: Dating someone out of sympathy or pity is the most insulting thing to them!
Gin: It'll end up hurting them the most!
UB: You should break up with him.
UB: Right, Gintoki-kun?
Gin: That's right.
Gin: You shouldn't sell yourself short. Don't you agree, Father?
Kag: But you could fall for someone once you start dating them, couldn't you?
Kag: That's what Daddy said about his shotgun marriage.
UB: Some romances start in bed, too.
Gin: You're the root cause? What the hell were you telling a child?!
UB: You've got the wrong idea! That's not what I meant there...
Kag: Anyway, I have a date tomorrow, so I'm going to bed now.
UB: Wait, Kagura-chan.
Gin: Feel free to go on a date or whatever.
UB: But before that...
Bo: Could you introduce your boyfriend to us?
How many have we been to now?
UB: Pops...
Gin: One more.
Shin: You're drinking too much, you two!
Shin: You're meeting Kagura-chan's boyfriend tomorrow, remember?
UB: Shut up! Boyfriend, my ass!
UB: I don't care who he is or where he's from. I haven't accepted him yet.
Gin: Yeah, dumbass.
Gin: It's way too early for a runt like her to be getting into an illicit relationship.
Gin: Who gave her permission to ride the escalator to adulthood?
Gin: Who does she think raised her until now? Damn it all.
UB: Uh, that's my line.
UB: When exactly did you raise her?
Gin: You neglected caring for your daughter and your hair, cue ball.
Gin: It's too late for you to start acting like a dad!
UB: I didn't neglect anything!
UB: I simply respected the independence of my daughter and my hair!
UB: They've both just gone to study abroad, is all!
Gin: But they've totally run into trouble there!
Gin: They're never coming back now!
UB: They will! They'll come home all blonde!
Shin: Oh, jeez. Stop it, you two.
Shin: I understand why you're so worried,
Shin: but everyone with a daughter has to face this day eventually.
Shin: He must be a nice boy, considering Kagura-chan accepted him.
Shin: But if we, the hosts, act like this, we'll end up embarrassing her.
Shin: While it might get a bit lonely,
Shin: we must grow up, too.
Shin: Well, I'll be leaving now.
Shin: You two make sure to act like grown-ups tomorrow.
UB: Grown-up, huh?
UB: Yeah, it's really childish to get this worked up over a boyfriend.
UB: I get it. I really do.
UB: When she was a baby, I used to be so happy to see her grow up by the day.
UB: Be it her first steps, or when she first learned to speak,
UB: everything was a life-changing experience.
UB: When was it that I stopped finding joy in her growing up?
UB: When did I start feeling more lonely than happy?
Gin: I used to think a grown-up's job was to run in front while the kids follow behind.
Gin: But when they eventually overtake us,
Gin: it's also our job to send them off with a smile, huh?
Gin: Man, I can still keep running, though.
UB: That's exactly it.
UB: You and I are both still snot-faced brats.
Gin: Shall we take them, too...
Gin: The stairs to adulthood?
Odd_Jobs_Gin_cha,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan
Shin: I wonder if those two will be all right.
Shin: They were acting like children last night,
Shin: but they did promise to behave like adults today.
Shin: I guess it should be okay.
Bo: Welcome!
Bo: Welcome to the Sakata household!
Gin: Oh, it's just you, Shinpachi-kun.
Shin: What are you doing? That'd scare the living daylights out of anyone!
UB: Sorry, sorry.
UB: We've been waiting in standby since last night for the boyfriend to arrive,
UB: so we got a little too excited.
Shin: Since last night?!
Gin: And when we practiced our smiles so we could welcome the boyfriend with a smile,
Gin: we fell into a "how do you smile,"
Gin: "what even is a smile,"
Gin: and "how is 'smile' spelled" loop.
UB: Are we smiling? Have we managed to smile?
Shin: Yeah, but there's nothing happy about it!
UB: We'll be grown-ups today.
UB: We won't embarrass Kagura.
UB: You don't need to worry.
Shin: Uh, where will you find grown-ups who smile like that?
Shin: It's nice that you tried to better yourselves, but you took it too far!
Shin: You need to be more natural!
UB: We know, Shinpachi-kun.
UB: Acting too high-and-mighty would only put unnecessary pressure on the boy.
UB: Relax.
UB: We're grown-ups today.
Gin: But as grown-ups, we can't really dress casually here...
Bo: ...so we decided to get some formals at least.
Shin: You took growing up too literally!
Shin: What the hell are you two doing?
Shin: Is this what you meant by being grown up?
UB: Huh?
Gin: What do you mean?
Shin: Don't give me that!
Shin: You're intimidating as hell!
Shin: You can feel the pressure in the air!
Gin: You must be imagining things.
Gin: Upper bodies in this anime have always been like this.
Shin: When did we become Captain Tsubasa?!
Gin: Calm down, Shinpachi.
Gin: You're the one acting unnatural.
Gin: We're the hosts. We just need to be ready to welcome with open arms.
Shin: No, you're the unnatural one! And your open arms are way too big!
Great_Nature_Dei,Sign: Great Nature Deism Daily
Gin: Huh? Isn't this yesterday's Great Nature paper?
Gin: Jeez, throw it away.
Shin: What the hell kind of newspaper are you reading?
Shin: Stop it! It'll make the family situation look complicated and troublesome!
UB: Oh, Mother.
UB: Oh, Gaia.
UB: Kagura-chan is bringing her boyfriend over.
UB: We'll gain another follower.
Shin: Hey! Who said you could build a creepy altar in our place?!
Shin: What're you praying to it for?!
Shin: What kind of secrets does this family have?!
Gin: This is it, right? We just have to act naturally like this, right?
Shin: This is too scary!
Shin: You got so conscious about the natural part,
Shin: you've made this household nothing but unnatural!
Shin: Forget her boyfriend, Kagura-chan will lose all her friends like this!
Kag: Hey.
Kag: I brought my boyfriend.
Shin: I gotta clean all of this up!
Shin: Listen up. You two just try not to do anything stupid.
Shin: Just smile and sit there. Got that?
Gin: Hey, you remember the agreement, right?
UB: Yeah.
Gin: If one of us goes out of control, the other will stop him, no matter what.
Gin: As Kagura's guardian and Kagura's father,
Gin: we must act like grown-ups and not embarrass ourselves.
UB: But don't let him walk over you.
UB: Say what you need to.
UB: If they're willing to have a clean relationship befitting their age,
UB: we won't stand in their way. We must make that clear.
UB: It's okay.
UB: I only saw him from behind, but he was a normal kid.
UB: If grown-ups talk to him seriously, he should understand.
UB: I mean, look how grown up we are.
UB: He's probably never seen anyone this grown up.
Gin: What's up, Kagura? Where's your boyfriend?
Kag: He said he can't come inside.
Gin: Huh? Is he feeling shy?
Gin: Just tell him to come in.
Kag: Like I said, he's saying he can't come inside.
Gin: Oh, for crying out loud. Did he get cold feet?
Gin: Hey, boyfriend! You can come in!
Gin: There's nothing to be afraid of!
Gin: He's kinda pathetic.
Gin: Is this gonna be okay?
UB: Well, I guess I can understand.
UB: I mean, there are two grown-ass grown-ups here. Of course he'd be scared.
UB: He's only a child. A big baby.
Bo: He really is a big baby!
TBC,Sign: To Be Continued
Sign: Preview
Kag: The guys are whining too much just because I got a boyfriend.
Kag: Girls eventually start staying out late and coming back the next morning on their own.
Kag: Get ready for it!
My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses
Kag: Next time: "My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses."
TextR: Kagura brought home her big boyfriend.
TextL: It shocked even the grown-ass grown-ups.
TextR: What's more, casual introductionswon't be enough?
TextL: Their relationship takes a sudden turn?!
09x01 - The Stairs to Adulthood May Not Always Lead Up
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.