09x07 - The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
Posted: 09/24/22 06:32
Oki: Show yourself.
Oki: There's no point in hiding.
Oki: Mine's howling, too.
Oki: Senbe the Manslayer.
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
Smithy,Sign: Smithy
Warning,Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
Tet: There. All done.
Kag: You finished reforging?
Shin: The reborn Kusanagi-san is finally complete?
Tet: Yeah. I'm glad I somehow finished in time for the battle tomorrow.
Tet: As a smith, I've done everything I can.
Tet: Now, depending on his wielder, he can become an incredible sword or a blunt one.
Tet: Gin-san,
Tet: the rest is up to you.
Kus: Uh, ya haven't finished at all!
Kus: Talk about hasty patchwork!
Kus: What was all that clangin' I heard earlier? This ain't the work of a smith!
Kus: It's a DIY disaster!
Gin: Great job, Tetsuko.
Gin: He was so blunt before, but now his retorts are razor sharp.
Kus: Yer impressed with that? Why make me so tiny?!
Kus: I can't even fit in Scabberina like this, let alone win the duel!
Kus: It'd be so loose! She'd think I'm impotent!
Gin: Quit nitpicking.
Gin: Even if you hadn't broken here, you were already broken inside.
Gin: Besides, your wife was always a loose s*ut anyway. You're a perfect fit.
Kus: Who're ya callin' a s*ut?!
Tet: S-Sorry. I did what I could, but...
Gin: Don't worry, Tetsuko.
Gin: You already granted my wish to get this guy outta my ass.
Gin: An impotent sword like this would lose even before getting to the love hotel,
Gin: so we've gotta boycott the duel...
Kus: Not on my watch.
Gin: D-Damn you...
Gin: You can remotely control your broken bits?!
Kus: Ya just wanted ta get me outta ya, eh?
Kus: That ain't gonna fly.
Kus: Take responsibility for turnin' me inta this and win that duel tomorrow!
Gin: Screw you!
Gin: How am I supposed to fight with an impotent sword like you?
Kus: Shaddup!
Kus: Length doesn't make a man! Speed does!
Gin: You finish quick, too? Damn, there's nothing good about you!
Kag: Don't worry, Gin-chan. It's not length or speed that makes a man.
Kag: It's how many rounds he can fight!
Kag: To boost your regenerative ability,
Kag: stick your sword in b*rned sand and iced water alternatively in this special drill!
Shin: What sword are you drilling?!
Shin: What now, Tetsuko-san?
Tet: It'll be hard for him to be a longsword again.
Tet: Even if I want to reforge him as a short one, I don't know if his body can take it.
Tet: Part of the reason he broke was that his blade had grown weak with age.
Tet: But it seems an old wound played a part, too.
Shin: An old wound?
Tet: Kusanagi...
Tet: That's why you've become so blunt, right?
Kus: I really can't hide anythin' from ya, eh, Tetsuko-han?
Kus: The truth is...
Kus: I already fought ta take Scabberina back once a long time ago.
Gin: What's with that woman?
Gin: She'd gotten it on with some other sword in the past, too? Shameless hussy, much?
Kus: Take that back!
Kus: That ain't it. That ain't it at all.
Kus: Scabberina wasn't originally my scabbard. She was his.
Kus: In other words, she and I are... uh...
Shin: You were the one who stole her originally?!
Kus: Anyone'd assume that. Maybe this is all karma.
Kus: But back then, I just couldn't leave her alone.
: Her husband was a masterpiece known ta all on Planet Excalibur:
: the cursed sword, Maganagi.
: A mad sword whose name made others run with their blades between their legs.
: He wasn't feared 'cause of his sharpness alone, but also for his savagery.
: We excaliburlings do our work by being used as bloodsucking biological weapons.
: But Maganagi is worse.
: His staple food is swords, meaning...
: He's a cannibal.
: He maintained his absurd sharpness by suckin' the energy of his own.
: All the scabbards chosen ta house him met with tragic ends.
: Each and every day, they had their energy sucked out and were left ta rot.
: And once they ran out, they were dumped.
: Ta him, Scabberina may have just been his latest of hundreds of scabbards,
: but ta me, she was an irreplaceable, dear childhood friend.
: I just couldn't sit there and watch her cry,
: even if it meant goin' up against the cursed sword Maganagi.
Tet: Oh, is that when you got that wound?
Kus: I couldn't b*at him, of course,
Kus: but I barely managed ta survive and take Scabberina back.
Kus: We came ta Earth ta get away from him, too.
Kus: I never thought things would end up this way.
Kus: What's worse, even Maganagi's...
Gin: Maganagi's what? What're you talking about?
Kus: Ya guys saw him, too...
Kus: That ominous form of his.
Oki: Never expected you to have one of those, too.
Sen: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Sen: I'm in luck today.
Sen: After I spent years and years looking for those two,
Sen: I found them both in one day.
Sen: I was planning to devour him first,
Sen: but whatever.
Sen: If I grab what you've got there, he'll come to me himself.
Oki: Not sure what you're talking about, but it seems my Scarlett is pretty popular.
Oki: And I was having trouble sleeping because my blood's been itching for action.
Oki: You won't exactly make for a great warm-up before the boss,
Oki: but I hope you'll at least be a light appetizer, Senbe-san.
Sen: Senbe? Who the heck is that?
Gin: Wait, was it the sword that guy was carrying this afternoon?
Kus: No doubt about it.
Kus: I'm sure he noticed me, too.
Kus: It's only a matter of time before he also locates Scabberina.
Kus: This is no time ta be worryin' about old wounds.
Gin: He may be a terrifying sword or whatever,
Gin: but whether he's harmful is up to his wielder, no?
Kus: Normally, yeah.
Kus: But not with him.
Kus: Unlike me, he doesn't stick himself inta filthy asses and get cozy with his wielder.
Mag: Don't misunderstand.
Mag: I'm not Senbe or whatever.
Mag: My name is...
Mag: Maganagi.
Mag: Cursed Sword Maganagi!
Kus: His wielder's body is nothin' but a tool to him.
Kus: He wields himself.
Kus: Maganagi's blade doesn't pierce any filthy asses.
Kus: It pierces people's very souls and makes them his own!
Mag: Huh?
Oki: Sorry, Senbe-san.
Oki: I forgot Rakugo Masters was airing today. I'll just go home.
Mag: What?!
Oki: Jeez, why do all rakugo programs air late nights or early mornings?
Mag: Wait a second. We dragged this out from last week, so what's this?
Mag: I acted all cool, and this is how it ends?
Mag: And what's with that guy?
Mag: He took me, Maganagi, out with just one swing!
Mag: W-Wait, Okita Sogo.
Mag: Hey, forget about rakugo for now!
Mag: If you want Rakugo Masters, I've got it on DVD!
Mag: Listen to me for a second!
Mag: Hey, wait!
World_Clash_Tour,Sign: World Clash Tournament Venue
Kon: Odd Jobs sure is late.
World_Clash_Tour,Sign: World Clash Tournament Venue
Kon: Please don't tell me he got cold feet.
Ymz: You know that's never happening with the boss.
Ymz: Probably hasn't gotten that sword out of his ass yet.
Kon: Oh, I don't see Sogo or Toshi, either.
Kon: What's going on here? Are we the only ones up for this?
Ymz: Captain Okita has been gone since yesterday.
Ymz: Vice Chief heard this morning that Senbe the Manslayer was passed out on the street,
Ymz: so he went to check that out.
Kon: Senbe was what?
Ymz: Arresting him was well and good, but he's been acting strange.
G: Oh, he's here!
Kon: There you are. Looks like your bum sword is usable now.
Gin: My bum sword?
Gin: Oh, you mean this Alienslayer?
Kon: Lies!
Gin: Huh? What do you mean?
Kon: Don't give me that! There's no way that massive thing was stuck in your ass!
Gin: Quit harping. The part that was inside was actually this big.
Kon: You're the one harping! This duel will decide which sword deserves the scabbard!
Kon: You made the rules!
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was far too large to be calleda sword stuck in my ass.
Gin: It was far too large to be called a sword stuck in my ass.
Gin: It was a far too large, thick, heavy,
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was a far too large, thick, heavy, and much too crude a lie.
Gin: and much too crude a lie.
Kon: Don't use Berserk's narration to announce your regrets!
Gin: You're such a nag.
Gin: I have the one that was stuck in my ass right here as a short sword.
Gin: Samurai always carried two swords, anyway.
Gin: Let me at least act like a samurai during a real-sword fight.
Kon: Spouting BS like that is completely unlike a samurai!
Tet: Gin-san...
Tet: That's really not going to work.
Kag: This is much better.
Kon: That's not the issue here!
Kon: All you did was switch from Berserk to FF!
Gin: Not interested.
Gin: It was far too advanced to be called FF anymore.
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was far too advanced to be called FF anymore.
Gin: I liked the fantasies like and better.
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: I liked the fantasies like and better.
Kon: What're you even on about?!
Oki: Now, now. Let him do as he pleases.
: Sogo!
Oki: If we're gonna fight to the death,
Oki: going all-out with our weapons of choice would be more fun.
Oki: Right, boss?
Gin: Lucky! We made it through somehow.
Kus: This could work! This might just work!
Oki: Besides...
Oki: I found myself a new w*apon too, actually.
Oki: Right, Senbe-san?
Mag: L-Look, I'm not Senbe.
Mag: I'm telling you I'm Cursed Sword Maganagi, sir.
Edo_Hospital,Sign: Edo Hospital
Hij: Senbe.
Hij: Hey, Senbe.
G: He's been like this ever since he regained consciousness.
G: Could it be his wound?
Hij: It didn't reach his brain.
Hij: Somebody spotted a Shinsengumi member fighting him last night.
Hij: One thrust was apparently all it took.
Hij: He defeated Senbe the Manslayer with one strike.
Hij: And he barely kept him alive by the skin of his teeth.
Hij: It could only have been one guy.
G: Captain Okita?
G: So that total sadist terrorized him into this state.
Hij: Nah. The way I see it, this guy wasn't broken anytime recently.
G: Are you saying he went around slaying people in this state?
Hij: Probably not.
Hij: That means this guy wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
G: But Vice Chief, he's definitely...
Hij: Oh, he's Senbe, all right.
Hij: But he probably wasn't the one slaying people.
Hij: Where's his w*apon?
Hij: The sword he was carrying.
G: Oh, we actually haven't found it yet.
G: Senbe? What's wrong?!
Sen: N-No! I don't want to be consumed anymore!
G: Calm down, Senbe!
Sen: It's that guy's turn to be consumed now.
Sen: He'll become the manslayer now!
G: Vice Chief?!
Hij: My bad feeling was on the mark.
Hij: Anybody else would laugh it off,
Hij: but I know how terrifying swords can be.
Hij: Because I experienced the curse of the Muramasha.
Hij: That man wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
Hij: It was his sword!
Hij: This is bad news.
Hij: That thing is likely in the hands of someone far more terrifying than Senbe!
Hij: If he got his hands on that cursed sword,
Hij: then forget manslayer, he'd become a world-conquering overlord!
Shin: I-Is that...
Shin: Could that sword be...
Shin: Maganagi!
Shin: It's Cursed Sword Maganagi!
Kus: Why? Why does that bro have Maganagi?!
Oki: I happened to acquire it last night.
Oki: It insisted on becoming my sword of choice.
Oki: Having only my scabbard be from Excalibur didn't sit right with me, anyway.
Oki: Three excaliburlings on Earth. In Edo alone, no less.
Oki: This must be fate at work.
Mag: Indeed.
Mag: Who would've thought I'd find the two I was looking for right here?
Mag: Don't you agree, Kusanagi?
Mag: I hear this is a duel over a scabbard?
Mag: This is fate, Kusanagi.
Mag: The moment you tricked me, your fates were sealed!
Mag: Die and return to the earth.
Oki: Hey, lady, your dog pooped.
Oki: Don't you know an owner is supposed to clean up after their pet?
W: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Mag: What are you doing?!
Mag: Do you really think you can s*ab crap like this with a cursed sword?!
Oki: Quit complaining.
Oki: I don't mind making this your scabbard, you know.
Oki: You can be an excaliturd.
Oki: This duel isn't between you swords.
Oki: It's between the boss and me to decide who is stronger.
Mag: Y-You don't have to be so cruel.
Mag: Didn't we promise to do our best together, Master?
Mag: A sword like me and a wielder like you would be invincible together.
Mag: We could conquer the world...
Oki: Boss, what say we clean this place up before we duel?
Mag: There's dog poop everywhere.
Mag: I'm sorry, Master! I'll keep my mouth shut, so please spare me!
Kus: I-I don't believe it.
Kus: That cursed sword is totally under his control.
Kus: Just how scary a guy is that bro?
Gin: Looks like the one sword we really wanted to avoid
Gin: showed up in the hands of the one guy who shouldn't wield it.
Kus: This is awful!
World_Clash_Tour: ,World Clash Tournament Venue
Kus: I was hopin' I could figure something out before fightin' him...
Kus: If we lose this duel, both Scabberina and I are done for!
Gin: This is fine, really.
Gin: In real-sword fights, the one who clings to hope loses.
Gin: Hope isn't something you'll find lying ahead in your path.
Gin: You'll find it hanging from the ass of the guys who live in the moment.
Gin: It's basically a goldfish turd.
Gin: Right now, having a blade stuck in my ass would be perfect.
Oki: What, that thing was all for show? That's just your usual wooden sword.
Oki: Well, whatever. If that's how you wanna play,
Oki: I'll stop thinking about a future where I sheathe my sword.
Oki: Until that goldfish turd of yours hangs from the tip of my sword,
Oki: it will remain drawn!
Kon: But it already is! You'll cause a mess if you sheathe it!
Gin: Bring it on. Let's see whose turd will hang first.
Kus: Why're you swingin' turds around, too?!
Bo: Let's fight fair and square!
Shin: What the hell are you two doing?!
Shin: They started picking up poop!
Kus: W-Wait...
Shin: What's going on here? What are they competing over?
Shin: Is this how this duel was supposed to go?
Mag: Wait, stop! I can't breathe!
Shin: Your swords are the only ones suffering!
Shin: What's wrong with you sadists?!
Bo: Eat this!
Shin: Eat this, my ass! What are you, cavemen?!
Shin: They're using amazing moves!
Shin: They're both going insane!
Shin: But why poop?!
Oki: In the poop's shadow?
Oki: But this is also...
Oki: a feint!
Gin: Not there.
Gin: Over here.
Oki: Not there.
Oki: Over here.
Gin: Not here. There.
Oki: Not there. There.
Gin: Not there. Manure.
Shin: Why are you having a high-level back and forth with poop?!
Shin: And just how much poop is on this riverbank, anyway?
Kag: Gin-chan!
Kag: Just wait! I'll provide covering fire for you!
Shin: That's not covering! That's just dumping!
Oki: You really are fun, boss.
Oki: Your technique's all over the place.
Oki: There's no way to tell where you'll att*ck from.
Shin: Hey! The camera's focusing on the wrong thing!
Gin: You won't look so relaxed for too long.
Gin: I can't wait to see what your face will look like in the next cut.
Shin: It looks like something ridiculous already!
Shin: Totally looks like two turds having a conversation!
Kon: Th-This is an outrageous duel.
Kon: I never expected it to get so heated.
Shin: You're more outrageous right now!
Kag: You've got poop on your head, Gorilla!
Kag: Barrier! Barrier!
Kon: I had my barrier up, too!
Shin: You're all covered in sh*t!
Shin: Knock it off already.
Shin: The screen's been filled with nothing but poop!
Shin: Wait, who put my glasses on poop?!
Kus: Insane.
Kus: Gintoki-han is insane.
Kus: He's fightin' that cursed sword Maganagi on equal footin'.
Mag: I was right.
Mag: This guy is on a whole different level than Senbe.
Mag: At last...
Mag: At last, I found it.
Mag: A vessel befitting me, Maganagi.
Mag: Kusanagi.
Mag: The man you found is a special talent himself.
Mag: However!
Mag: Even if the vessels are equal,
Mag: their swords are like night and day!
Kon: H—
Kon: His sword vanished?!
Oki: Nothing vanished.
Oki: They're right here in my belly.
Oki: Both your sword
Oki: and this man.
Preview brick,Sign: Preview
Kus: This is awful! Maganagi took over that bro!
Kus: I-It's all over!
Gin: Don't give up, Kusanagi!
Kus: But Kudo—I mean, Gintoki-han!
Gin: You still have my blood and my scabbard, foo'.
Sign: The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Ass
TextR: We're really sorry if you were watching while having dinner.
TextL: The Gintoki vs. Okita & Swordsstory ends next week!
TextR: The next C*nan Hint is...
TextL: "Subtly Off-Color."
Oki: There's no point in hiding.
Oki: Mine's howling, too.
Oki: Senbe the Manslayer.
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc
Title: The Super Sadist and the Super Sadist
Smithy,Sign: Smithy
Warning,Warning: Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!
Tet: There. All done.
Kag: You finished reforging?
Shin: The reborn Kusanagi-san is finally complete?
Tet: Yeah. I'm glad I somehow finished in time for the battle tomorrow.
Tet: As a smith, I've done everything I can.
Tet: Now, depending on his wielder, he can become an incredible sword or a blunt one.
Tet: Gin-san,
Tet: the rest is up to you.
Kus: Uh, ya haven't finished at all!
Kus: Talk about hasty patchwork!
Kus: What was all that clangin' I heard earlier? This ain't the work of a smith!
Kus: It's a DIY disaster!
Gin: Great job, Tetsuko.
Gin: He was so blunt before, but now his retorts are razor sharp.
Kus: Yer impressed with that? Why make me so tiny?!
Kus: I can't even fit in Scabberina like this, let alone win the duel!
Kus: It'd be so loose! She'd think I'm impotent!
Gin: Quit nitpicking.
Gin: Even if you hadn't broken here, you were already broken inside.
Gin: Besides, your wife was always a loose s*ut anyway. You're a perfect fit.
Kus: Who're ya callin' a s*ut?!
Tet: S-Sorry. I did what I could, but...
Gin: Don't worry, Tetsuko.
Gin: You already granted my wish to get this guy outta my ass.
Gin: An impotent sword like this would lose even before getting to the love hotel,
Gin: so we've gotta boycott the duel...
Kus: Not on my watch.
Gin: D-Damn you...
Gin: You can remotely control your broken bits?!
Kus: Ya just wanted ta get me outta ya, eh?
Kus: That ain't gonna fly.
Kus: Take responsibility for turnin' me inta this and win that duel tomorrow!
Gin: Screw you!
Gin: How am I supposed to fight with an impotent sword like you?
Kus: Shaddup!
Kus: Length doesn't make a man! Speed does!
Gin: You finish quick, too? Damn, there's nothing good about you!
Kag: Don't worry, Gin-chan. It's not length or speed that makes a man.
Kag: It's how many rounds he can fight!
Kag: To boost your regenerative ability,
Kag: stick your sword in b*rned sand and iced water alternatively in this special drill!
Shin: What sword are you drilling?!
Shin: What now, Tetsuko-san?
Tet: It'll be hard for him to be a longsword again.
Tet: Even if I want to reforge him as a short one, I don't know if his body can take it.
Tet: Part of the reason he broke was that his blade had grown weak with age.
Tet: But it seems an old wound played a part, too.
Shin: An old wound?
Tet: Kusanagi...
Tet: That's why you've become so blunt, right?
Kus: I really can't hide anythin' from ya, eh, Tetsuko-han?
Kus: The truth is...
Kus: I already fought ta take Scabberina back once a long time ago.
Gin: What's with that woman?
Gin: She'd gotten it on with some other sword in the past, too? Shameless hussy, much?
Kus: Take that back!
Kus: That ain't it. That ain't it at all.
Kus: Scabberina wasn't originally my scabbard. She was his.
Kus: In other words, she and I are... uh...
Shin: You were the one who stole her originally?!
Kus: Anyone'd assume that. Maybe this is all karma.
Kus: But back then, I just couldn't leave her alone.
: Her husband was a masterpiece known ta all on Planet Excalibur:
: the cursed sword, Maganagi.
: A mad sword whose name made others run with their blades between their legs.
: He wasn't feared 'cause of his sharpness alone, but also for his savagery.
: We excaliburlings do our work by being used as bloodsucking biological weapons.
: But Maganagi is worse.
: His staple food is swords, meaning...
: He's a cannibal.
: He maintained his absurd sharpness by suckin' the energy of his own.
: All the scabbards chosen ta house him met with tragic ends.
: Each and every day, they had their energy sucked out and were left ta rot.
: And once they ran out, they were dumped.
: Ta him, Scabberina may have just been his latest of hundreds of scabbards,
: but ta me, she was an irreplaceable, dear childhood friend.
: I just couldn't sit there and watch her cry,
: even if it meant goin' up against the cursed sword Maganagi.
Tet: Oh, is that when you got that wound?
Kus: I couldn't b*at him, of course,
Kus: but I barely managed ta survive and take Scabberina back.
Kus: We came ta Earth ta get away from him, too.
Kus: I never thought things would end up this way.
Kus: What's worse, even Maganagi's...
Gin: Maganagi's what? What're you talking about?
Kus: Ya guys saw him, too...
Kus: That ominous form of his.
Oki: Never expected you to have one of those, too.
Sen: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Sen: I'm in luck today.
Sen: After I spent years and years looking for those two,
Sen: I found them both in one day.
Sen: I was planning to devour him first,
Sen: but whatever.
Sen: If I grab what you've got there, he'll come to me himself.
Oki: Not sure what you're talking about, but it seems my Scarlett is pretty popular.
Oki: And I was having trouble sleeping because my blood's been itching for action.
Oki: You won't exactly make for a great warm-up before the boss,
Oki: but I hope you'll at least be a light appetizer, Senbe-san.
Sen: Senbe? Who the heck is that?
Gin: Wait, was it the sword that guy was carrying this afternoon?
Kus: No doubt about it.
Kus: I'm sure he noticed me, too.
Kus: It's only a matter of time before he also locates Scabberina.
Kus: This is no time ta be worryin' about old wounds.
Gin: He may be a terrifying sword or whatever,
Gin: but whether he's harmful is up to his wielder, no?
Kus: Normally, yeah.
Kus: But not with him.
Kus: Unlike me, he doesn't stick himself inta filthy asses and get cozy with his wielder.
Mag: Don't misunderstand.
Mag: I'm not Senbe or whatever.
Mag: My name is...
Mag: Maganagi.
Mag: Cursed Sword Maganagi!
Kus: His wielder's body is nothin' but a tool to him.
Kus: He wields himself.
Kus: Maganagi's blade doesn't pierce any filthy asses.
Kus: It pierces people's very souls and makes them his own!
Mag: Huh?
Oki: Sorry, Senbe-san.
Oki: I forgot Rakugo Masters was airing today. I'll just go home.
Mag: What?!
Oki: Jeez, why do all rakugo programs air late nights or early mornings?
Mag: Wait a second. We dragged this out from last week, so what's this?
Mag: I acted all cool, and this is how it ends?
Mag: And what's with that guy?
Mag: He took me, Maganagi, out with just one swing!
Mag: W-Wait, Okita Sogo.
Mag: Hey, forget about rakugo for now!
Mag: If you want Rakugo Masters, I've got it on DVD!
Mag: Listen to me for a second!
Mag: Hey, wait!
World_Clash_Tour,Sign: World Clash Tournament Venue
Kon: Odd Jobs sure is late.
World_Clash_Tour,Sign: World Clash Tournament Venue
Kon: Please don't tell me he got cold feet.
Ymz: You know that's never happening with the boss.
Ymz: Probably hasn't gotten that sword out of his ass yet.
Kon: Oh, I don't see Sogo or Toshi, either.
Kon: What's going on here? Are we the only ones up for this?
Ymz: Captain Okita has been gone since yesterday.
Ymz: Vice Chief heard this morning that Senbe the Manslayer was passed out on the street,
Ymz: so he went to check that out.
Kon: Senbe was what?
Ymz: Arresting him was well and good, but he's been acting strange.
G: Oh, he's here!
Kon: There you are. Looks like your bum sword is usable now.
Gin: My bum sword?
Gin: Oh, you mean this Alienslayer?
Kon: Lies!
Gin: Huh? What do you mean?
Kon: Don't give me that! There's no way that massive thing was stuck in your ass!
Gin: Quit harping. The part that was inside was actually this big.
Kon: You're the one harping! This duel will decide which sword deserves the scabbard!
Kon: You made the rules!
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was far too large to be calleda sword stuck in my ass.
Gin: It was far too large to be called a sword stuck in my ass.
Gin: It was a far too large, thick, heavy,
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was a far too large, thick, heavy, and much too crude a lie.
Gin: and much too crude a lie.
Kon: Don't use Berserk's narration to announce your regrets!
Gin: You're such a nag.
Gin: I have the one that was stuck in my ass right here as a short sword.
Gin: Samurai always carried two swords, anyway.
Gin: Let me at least act like a samurai during a real-sword fight.
Kon: Spouting BS like that is completely unlike a samurai!
Tet: Gin-san...
Tet: That's really not going to work.
Kag: This is much better.
Kon: That's not the issue here!
Kon: All you did was switch from Berserk to FF!
Gin: Not interested.
Gin: It was far too advanced to be called FF anymore.
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: It was far too advanced to be called FF anymore.
Gin: I liked the fantasies like and better.
It_was_far_too_l,Sign: I liked the fantasies like and better.
Kon: What're you even on about?!
Oki: Now, now. Let him do as he pleases.
: Sogo!
Oki: If we're gonna fight to the death,
Oki: going all-out with our weapons of choice would be more fun.
Oki: Right, boss?
Gin: Lucky! We made it through somehow.
Kus: This could work! This might just work!
Oki: Besides...
Oki: I found myself a new w*apon too, actually.
Oki: Right, Senbe-san?
Mag: L-Look, I'm not Senbe.
Mag: I'm telling you I'm Cursed Sword Maganagi, sir.
Edo_Hospital,Sign: Edo Hospital
Hij: Senbe.
Hij: Hey, Senbe.
G: He's been like this ever since he regained consciousness.
G: Could it be his wound?
Hij: It didn't reach his brain.
Hij: Somebody spotted a Shinsengumi member fighting him last night.
Hij: One thrust was apparently all it took.
Hij: He defeated Senbe the Manslayer with one strike.
Hij: And he barely kept him alive by the skin of his teeth.
Hij: It could only have been one guy.
G: Captain Okita?
G: So that total sadist terrorized him into this state.
Hij: Nah. The way I see it, this guy wasn't broken anytime recently.
G: Are you saying he went around slaying people in this state?
Hij: Probably not.
Hij: That means this guy wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
G: But Vice Chief, he's definitely...
Hij: Oh, he's Senbe, all right.
Hij: But he probably wasn't the one slaying people.
Hij: Where's his w*apon?
Hij: The sword he was carrying.
G: Oh, we actually haven't found it yet.
G: Senbe? What's wrong?!
Sen: N-No! I don't want to be consumed anymore!
G: Calm down, Senbe!
Sen: It's that guy's turn to be consumed now.
Sen: He'll become the manslayer now!
G: Vice Chief?!
Hij: My bad feeling was on the mark.
Hij: Anybody else would laugh it off,
Hij: but I know how terrifying swords can be.
Hij: Because I experienced the curse of the Muramasha.
Hij: That man wasn't Senbe the Manslayer.
Hij: It was his sword!
Hij: This is bad news.
Hij: That thing is likely in the hands of someone far more terrifying than Senbe!
Hij: If he got his hands on that cursed sword,
Hij: then forget manslayer, he'd become a world-conquering overlord!
Shin: I-Is that...
Shin: Could that sword be...
Shin: Maganagi!
Shin: It's Cursed Sword Maganagi!
Kus: Why? Why does that bro have Maganagi?!
Oki: I happened to acquire it last night.
Oki: It insisted on becoming my sword of choice.
Oki: Having only my scabbard be from Excalibur didn't sit right with me, anyway.
Oki: Three excaliburlings on Earth. In Edo alone, no less.
Oki: This must be fate at work.
Mag: Indeed.
Mag: Who would've thought I'd find the two I was looking for right here?
Mag: Don't you agree, Kusanagi?
Mag: I hear this is a duel over a scabbard?
Mag: This is fate, Kusanagi.
Mag: The moment you tricked me, your fates were sealed!
Mag: Die and return to the earth.
Oki: Hey, lady, your dog pooped.
Oki: Don't you know an owner is supposed to clean up after their pet?
W: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Mag: What are you doing?!
Mag: Do you really think you can s*ab crap like this with a cursed sword?!
Oki: Quit complaining.
Oki: I don't mind making this your scabbard, you know.
Oki: You can be an excaliturd.
Oki: This duel isn't between you swords.
Oki: It's between the boss and me to decide who is stronger.
Mag: Y-You don't have to be so cruel.
Mag: Didn't we promise to do our best together, Master?
Mag: A sword like me and a wielder like you would be invincible together.
Mag: We could conquer the world...
Oki: Boss, what say we clean this place up before we duel?
Mag: There's dog poop everywhere.
Mag: I'm sorry, Master! I'll keep my mouth shut, so please spare me!
Kus: I-I don't believe it.
Kus: That cursed sword is totally under his control.
Kus: Just how scary a guy is that bro?
Gin: Looks like the one sword we really wanted to avoid
Gin: showed up in the hands of the one guy who shouldn't wield it.
Kus: This is awful!
World_Clash_Tour: ,World Clash Tournament Venue
Kus: I was hopin' I could figure something out before fightin' him...
Kus: If we lose this duel, both Scabberina and I are done for!
Gin: This is fine, really.
Gin: In real-sword fights, the one who clings to hope loses.
Gin: Hope isn't something you'll find lying ahead in your path.
Gin: You'll find it hanging from the ass of the guys who live in the moment.
Gin: It's basically a goldfish turd.
Gin: Right now, having a blade stuck in my ass would be perfect.
Oki: What, that thing was all for show? That's just your usual wooden sword.
Oki: Well, whatever. If that's how you wanna play,
Oki: I'll stop thinking about a future where I sheathe my sword.
Oki: Until that goldfish turd of yours hangs from the tip of my sword,
Oki: it will remain drawn!
Kon: But it already is! You'll cause a mess if you sheathe it!
Gin: Bring it on. Let's see whose turd will hang first.
Kus: Why're you swingin' turds around, too?!
Bo: Let's fight fair and square!
Shin: What the hell are you two doing?!
Shin: They started picking up poop!
Kus: W-Wait...
Shin: What's going on here? What are they competing over?
Shin: Is this how this duel was supposed to go?
Mag: Wait, stop! I can't breathe!
Shin: Your swords are the only ones suffering!
Shin: What's wrong with you sadists?!
Bo: Eat this!
Shin: Eat this, my ass! What are you, cavemen?!
Shin: They're using amazing moves!
Shin: They're both going insane!
Shin: But why poop?!
Oki: In the poop's shadow?
Oki: But this is also...
Oki: a feint!
Gin: Not there.
Gin: Over here.
Oki: Not there.
Oki: Over here.
Gin: Not here. There.
Oki: Not there. There.
Gin: Not there. Manure.
Shin: Why are you having a high-level back and forth with poop?!
Shin: And just how much poop is on this riverbank, anyway?
Kag: Gin-chan!
Kag: Just wait! I'll provide covering fire for you!
Shin: That's not covering! That's just dumping!
Oki: You really are fun, boss.
Oki: Your technique's all over the place.
Oki: There's no way to tell where you'll att*ck from.
Shin: Hey! The camera's focusing on the wrong thing!
Gin: You won't look so relaxed for too long.
Gin: I can't wait to see what your face will look like in the next cut.
Shin: It looks like something ridiculous already!
Shin: Totally looks like two turds having a conversation!
Kon: Th-This is an outrageous duel.
Kon: I never expected it to get so heated.
Shin: You're more outrageous right now!
Kag: You've got poop on your head, Gorilla!
Kag: Barrier! Barrier!
Kon: I had my barrier up, too!
Shin: You're all covered in sh*t!
Shin: Knock it off already.
Shin: The screen's been filled with nothing but poop!
Shin: Wait, who put my glasses on poop?!
Kus: Insane.
Kus: Gintoki-han is insane.
Kus: He's fightin' that cursed sword Maganagi on equal footin'.
Mag: I was right.
Mag: This guy is on a whole different level than Senbe.
Mag: At last...
Mag: At last, I found it.
Mag: A vessel befitting me, Maganagi.
Mag: Kusanagi.
Mag: The man you found is a special talent himself.
Mag: However!
Mag: Even if the vessels are equal,
Mag: their swords are like night and day!
Kon: H—
Kon: His sword vanished?!
Oki: Nothing vanished.
Oki: They're right here in my belly.
Oki: Both your sword
Oki: and this man.
Preview brick,Sign: Preview
Kus: This is awful! Maganagi took over that bro!
Kus: I-It's all over!
Gin: Don't give up, Kusanagi!
Kus: But Kudo—I mean, Gintoki-han!
Gin: You still have my blood and my scabbard, foo'.
Sign: The Strongest Sword, and the Dullest Ass
TextR: We're really sorry if you were watching while having dinner.
TextL: The Gintoki vs. Okita & Swordsstory ends next week!
TextR: The next C*nan Hint is...
TextL: "Subtly Off-Color."