09x11 - An Idol's Badge of Honor

[bunniefuu]

Gintama,OP Card: Gintama

Slip Arc,OP Card: Slip Arc

Title: An Idol's Badge of Honor

Oedo_Dome,Sign: Oedo Dome

Tsuk: To hell with that. Even a normal meet-and-greet doesn't sit right with me.

Warning - Copy,Warning: BDZ's {\c&HDFE&}Request!! Watch this program in a bright roomand at a safe distance from your TV ♥

Tsuk: If you're holding a toilet meet-and-greet, they might as well all work at Yoshiwara.

Shin: Is that really the issue here, Tsukuyo-san?

Sac: No need to tell me. I've always been the producer's cum dumpster.

Shin: You keep your mouth shut!

Kyu: Idol or not, as a samurai, I could never grab something so filthy.

Kyu: The only things a samurai should grab are swords, dirt on powerful people,

Kyu: control of the Yagyu Family and the right to its inheritance,

Kyu: stocks, and rice balls.

Shin: Don't make rice balls with a hand that touched all that filth, you celeb samurai!

Tae: Besides, shaking hands from a toilet would be rude to the fans.

Tae: We want to treat our fans better.

Tae: On that note,

Tae: let's have the fans enter the toilet instead.

Shin: Treat your fans better!

Tae: Also, keeping hygiene in mind,

Tae: they can hold Clift's fate in their hands.

A_Mad_Hand_Appea,Sign: A Mad HandAppeared

Shin: Don't treat fans like the Mad Hands in DQ!

Shin: And don't pull on Clift's leg! Quit pulling our leg by being so useless, Clift!

Tae: And despite everything that happened,

Tae: let's flush it all away and call it water under the bridge.

Shin: They won't get flushed!

Shin: Not even the large option will flush your evil deeds and Clift's feelings away!

Tae: It's the same principle as the Gintama movies.

Tae: The moment we get the fans inside, we've already won.

Tae: After that, the money will flow in even if the movie's a steady stream of sh*t.

Shin: Enough with the outrageous statements!

Shin: Don't put us in the same boat as your rip-off cabaret club!

G: H-Hey, what happened in there?

G: Uh, I think...

G: I touched something soft that starts with "cli."

G: "Cli"? Something soft?!

G: And then water came bursting out...

G: Holy water came bursting out?!

G: I-I'm lining up for Otae-chan!

G: She seems prim and proper, but is actually really bold! She's the best!

Shin: By some miracle, it caused a misunderstanding and formed a line!

Tae: There, there.

Tae: Don't rush, guys. Enter the toilet in turn, okay?

Kag: Well, since a line's formed, let's just go with it.

Sac: Pfft! Don't make me laugh!

Sac: What part of that woman is soft?

Sac: As you can see, she's a legendary Bigfoot whose entire body is the Rockies!

Tae: Sacchan...

Tae: Could you not get all jealous because nobody's coming to your toilet?

Tae: Be a good little monkey and ride on someone else's back, would you?

Sac: Otae...

Sac: A monkey on the back is an idiom that means having a problem, not a literal monkey.

Sac: Has your brain turned into a rock, too?

Kag: Hey! Boss lady, Sacchan!

Tae: And I'm saying you can ride these filthy men bareback.

Sac: Did you hear that, guys? This is what Otae's really like!

Shin: Who the hell are you two fighting?!

Sac: What are you saying?

Sac: Before being a battle to decide the top idol,

Sac: this is a vote-off between Diamond Vacuum members!

Shin: Who the hell cares about that?!

Sac: I won't let anyone else be center.

Sac: You guys are better off lining up for me instead of this Jezebel.

Sac: Hey, don't you want to meet-and-greet me?

Sac: I've got two much softer things than she does.

Sac: Look right here.

G: On second thought, I'm going for Sacchan!

G: She may wear glasses, but she's got a bombshell body! She's the best!

Tae: Why, you little bitch!

Sac: I'm gonna be the center!

Sac: You can spew all the holy water you want in the wagon, Clift!

Sac: No... You need to hold me more gently.

Shin: Hey! What the hell are you guys doing?!

Sac: If you shake that hard, you'll crush my two

Sac: soft balls!

Tae: They're just Brey's golden orbs!

Shin: What the hell are you doing?!

Shin: This has turned into a meet-and-greet for DQ's wagon members!

Shin: Where'd you even find them?!

Tae: Clift and Brey needed to get rid of their worries before the final battle!

Shin: You two are Booger Diamonds 's Clift and Brey!

Gin: Exactly.

Gin: Good job, Clift, Brey.

Gin: Consider DQ's Alena and McRyan.

Gin: Do you know why most people pick Alena out of these two fighters?

Gin: That's because unlike McRyan, who is all alone, Alena has Clift and Brey with her.

Shin: No way!

Gin: Yes way. They're just like an idol group, too.

Gin: The center Alena's star shines brighter

Gin: amidst the darkness that is Clift and Brey.

Gin: Which means...

G: On second thought, Kyubei-chan's the best!

G: Unlike those two sluts, she's a pure tomboy!

G: Plus, she's got eyepatch and twin tails moe!

G: Orthodox really is best!

Gin: Go, Alena!

Gin: Walk over the corpses of Clift and Brey!

Gin: I forgot Alena could spam critical hits.

Kyu: Don't touch me!

Kag: Turns out Alena has the biggest, Psaro-tier darkness.

Shin: You've gotta be kidding me! What did she even come here for?!

Kyu: G-Give me some time.

Kyu: I'm slowly getting used to it.

Kyu: I think I'll be able to overcome it once I throw another , of them.

Shin: The fans won't recover from that!

Tae: Then why don't you throw Clift , times?

Sac: And Brey, too.

Shin: Don't listen to those dark voices!

Shin: Spare Clift and Brey already!

Tsuk: Stop it, Kyubei.

Tsuk: Don't push yourself.

Kyu: Tsukuyo-dono?

Tsuk: If you can't hold hands with men, then I can just hold your share as well.

Kyu: But I can't place such a burden on you.

Tsuk: Don't worry. I cast aside my femininity, but ah'm still a woman of Yoshiwara.

Tsuk: Ah'm prepared to bear the sins of man.

Kyu: Ah'm moe!

Gin: Why are you freaking out over her?!

Shin: We still had our ultimate w*apon, the female hero who backs up Alena's party!

G: She looks like a cool, aloof beauty, but she's kind enough to look out for others!

G: Tsukuyo-chan is the best!

Shin: This is our chance!

Tae: My, aren't we popular, Tsukuyo-san.

Shin: You two get back in the wagon right now!

Sac: After that popularity poll, you want to win the Diamond Vacuum vote-off, too?

Sign: Popularity Poll Arc (Episodes - ) November

Sac: Of course a Yoshiwara woman would know all about the casting couch.

Shin: You still haven't gotten over what happened eight years ago?!

Sac: But the center always has the spotlight on her.

Sac: So as fellow members, we really need you to be more careful about things.

Sign: Female Hero Sends Clift to the Wagon!!

Sign: The Two Disappear Into the Wagon\Where Brey Awaits...

Shin: What kinda scandal is that?!

Shin: And why are you guys fabricating stories to bring down your bandmate?!

Sac: How will you take responsibility for this?

Tae: Sending you to the Hakata wagon won't be enough. You'll be sent to Indonesia!

Shin: Your shitty organization doesn't exist in Indonesia!

Tsuk: I don't recall any of that,

Tsuk: but I guess it's okay if it'll get me out of this stupid mess.

Shin: It had zero effect on her!

Sac: That laid-back attitude of yours is really annoying!

Sac: Want me to cast Thwack on you?!

Sac: Be honest! You want to be center too, right?

Tsuk: Look, if you wanna play center field or whatever base in baseball,

Tsuk: first get nine people to play with!

Sac: Don't play dumb with me!

Shin: Knock it off! Your ugly infighting is weirding out the fans!

Tae: Oh, wait!

Sac: We were kidding! That was just a comedy opening act!

Sac: Come back!

Com: Uh, excuse me. Can I just, like,

Com: take a dump?

Com: Whoa! It's totally sticking out!

Shin: We don't need play-by-play for that!

Com: My poop is as loose and sloppy as Booger Diamonds 's morals!

Com: Their behavior sticks out so much in the idol sphere,

Com: both the fans and my poop scattered all over the place!

Shin: Quit telling us about how your dump is going!

Com: Meanwhile, Galaxy Kingdom b*tches are nearly in four digits!

Com: There's no telling what's going on behind those bewitching curtains,

Com: but the fans are being rendered spineless one after another!

Bit: It's all over, Booger Diamonds .

Gin: Guess we'll have to do something about their mystery meet-and-greet after all.

Shin: Not yet.

Shin: Booger Diamonds isn't finished yet.

Shin: Terakado Tsu isn't finished yet!

Shin: Not as long as the captain of the Terakado Tsu Fanclub,

Shin: Shimura Shinpachi, is still here.

Shin: I'll stop them.

Shin: So Kagura-chan, Otsu-chan, the rest is in your hands.

Bit: Captain of the Terakado Tsu Fanclub, Shimura Shinpachi.

Bit: Do you really want a taste of our meet-and-greet?

Bit: Did you forget what happened to your friends when they tried us?

Shin: Otsu-chan...

Shin: As long as you keep singing,

Shin: your fans won't go anywhere.

Shin: Even back when you didn't have any fans,

Shin: you still had fun singing on the roadsise.

Shin: Someone who was given strength by watching you is still here.

Shin: Just as your voice has cheered us on when we were sad and hurt,

Shin: there's a fan still here who will cheer you on when you are sad and hurt.

Shin: If you've lost everything, you can just start over from that spot.

Shin: If you'll sing, I'll gladly come see you there again and again...

Shin: At that concert hall for just the two of us.

Shin: No matter what happens,

Shin: I will be Terakado Tsu's first and last fan.

Bit: How amusing.

Bit: By getting through our meet-and-greet,

Bit: you want to stir up the undecided fans and that cowardly girl?

Bit: Well, let's see you try.

Bit: Just like you wanted, we'll make you Terakado Tsu's last ever fan

Bit: by enslaving your heart!

Shin: Right back at you.

Shin: I'm Shimura Shinpachi, captain of the Terakado Tsu Fanclub.

Shin: Here I come!

Gin: Sh-Shinpachi!

Gin: That was quick!

Gin: What's wrong with you? After all that big talk, you got destroyed in a flash!

Gin: You got stripped to your underwear at an incredible speed!

Bit: Even her oldest fan and white knight is just a rotten virgin nerd.

Bit: Our meet-and-greet can entrance anyone in one sh*t, no matter whose fan they are.

Bit: Now, Terakado Tsu has not a single fan left...

Shin: Once I get home, I'm gonna throw away all my p*rn mags.

Shin: But as for Otsu-chan's CDs,

Shin: I won't throw a single one away.

Bit: My antenna? Did he...

Com: Wow, Shimaru has made a successful return!

Com: And what's going on here?

Com: Miss Bitchie is suddenly writhing in pain!

Shin: I thought it was strange how one handshake

Shin: could turn anyone into a Galaxy Kingdom b*tches fanatic.

Shin: Selling dreams is your job?

Shin: That's not it.

Shin: What you were showing them was just an illusion, Galaxy Kingdom b*tches !

Bit: C-Curse you!

Com: Having lost her antenna, Miss Bitchie has turned into a different person!

Com: Th-That's not all! From behind the bewitching curtains,

Com: unfamiliar uggo idols are tumbling out one after another!

Taka: Shin-chan's right.

Taka: Fans of any other idol would've been fine,

Taka: but you ran out of luck when you picked a fight with us.

Taka: Your brainwashing won't work on us.

Taka: Because...

Taka: We're the universe's greatest fans of the universe's greatest idol!

Taka: Because we're the Terakado Tsu Fanclub, dynamite!

Shin: Taka-chin! Guys!

Com: C-Can you believe it? The Terakado Tsu Fanclub is back in action!

Com: With their sheer love for Otsu-chan, they exposed the brainwashing shenanigans!

G: No way!

G: Our number one idols in the universe!

G: The shocking truth is making the Galaxy Kingdom b*tches fans waver!

G: Wait, the count went down to zero!

G: It has been deemed invalid due to brainwashing!

G: Booger Diamonds have pulled off an miraculous last-ditch comeback!

G: Let it be heard across the universe, men.

G: Who the universe's greatest idol with the universe's greatest fans is.

G: Booger Diamonds Fanclub, let's go!

G: L-O-V-E Otsu!

All: L-O-V-E Otsu!

Shin: L-O-V-E Kagura!

All: L-O-V-E Kagura!

G: Let's go cheer them on, too.

Com: The fanclub's Booger Diamonds chant echoes across the arena.

Com: Their overwhelming passion

Com: is infecting the now recovered Galaxy Kingdom b*tches fans!

Com: Wh-What's this noise?!

Bit: How dare you expose an idol's hidden face, that which mustn't be seen!

Bit: Mysterious sound waves are being emitted by all of Galaxy Kingdom b*tches .

Bit: If you found out, all we have to do is brainwash you all once again.

Bit: Keep dancing within the fantasies that are idols for the rest of your lives...

Bit: That's...

Kag: Looks like this is the kind of handshake you need.

Com: Booger Diamonds 's Kagura stops Miss Bitchie!

Com: In these final stages, she's turning it into an actual fight of hands!

Com: What are you morons doing? Hurry up and brainwash...

GKB: What's this awful noise?

Tae: The time has come to show you the fruits of our training.

Com: Th-That's...

Tae: Kagura-chan, leave the backing to us!

Sac: Go grab idol stardom with your hands!

Com: It's the backing band!

Com: Diamond Vacuum's overwriting the mystery sound waves with terrifying dissonance!

Com: Suffering fans,

Com: screaming fanclub,

Com: and groaning backing band.

Com: All of their fates now rest in the hands of those two!

Com: Is this really a meet-and-greet?

Com: No, this is a battle with their idol careers on the line! A real meet-and-b*at!

Bit: Do you really think you have the right to stop us?

Bit: Showing illusions and brainwashing is something all idols do.

Bit: Beneath the surface, idols are filthy people, too.

Bit: They hide that filth with cosmetic surgery and show off their fake beauty.

Bit: They hide that filth by putting on an act and showing off their fake purity.

Bit: The dreams you people are having are nothing but illusions wrapped in lies!

Bit: All we did was perfect those illusions and make them more beautiful!

Bit: And we did it to show you the dreams that you wanted to see!

Gin: You can't call those dreams.

Gin: It's just giving up.

Gin: Sure, idols dig their nostrils, take dumps, and have ***, too.

Gin: They cause scandals at times and get down in the dumps at others.

Gin: But to make their pathetic selves stand proud in the spotlight,

Gin: they discipline themselves, strive to improve, and struggle to stand on stage.

Gin: You laugh that off as a mere illusion?

Gin: Well, you're wrong.

Gin: That's not an illusion. It's an ideal.

Gin: The dream to crawl toward one's ideal.

Gin: That's what idols are all about.

Gin: Just like samurai,

Gin: they're seekers of the ultimate dream.

Tsu: Sorry to keep you waiting, menthol.

Gin: And what those morons are having

Gin: is a real dream they're pursuing with their idols.

Bit: I-It can't be. Why is she here?

Kag: Idols really are best in a group.

Kag: Our diamond is shining especially bright right now,

Kag: thanks to us massive boogers.

Bit: Did they believe that she would come here?

Bit: Were we—no, was this entire event and its ugly battles—

Bit: just a massive booger to make the diamond called Otsu shine brighter?!

Bit: You were using us all along?!

Tsu: Kagura-chan! Guys!

Kag: Otsu.

Kag: It wasn't for long, but I had fun being an idol with you.

Kag: Let them hear it... Our Booger Diamonds 's song.

Kag: The song of real idols, which can blow away all illusions and brainwashing!

Bit: Y-You little!

Kag: Guys! Don't let some illusion control you!

Kag: Take back your dreams!

Kag: Listen to our song!

Kag: And...

Kag: Even if you hate Booger Diamonds ,

Kag: please don't come to hate Terakado Tsu!

Tsu: Please lend me your ears.

Tsu: Fellow members who have walked with me,

Tsu: fans who have cheered me on,

Tsu: and rivals who have competed with me.

Tsu: All of you have been my pillar of support.

Tsu: You are all part of Booger Diamonds , and I dedicate this song to you.

Tsu: This is An Idol's Badge of Honor.

Song,Song: La la la, idol

Song,Song: La la la, idol

Song,Song: Accel, consul, it's dreams that we sell

Song,Song: Idol, idol, idling

Song,Song: Even on the edge, we've got the handling

Song,Song: That scandal back then

Song,Song: Was a summer sentence

Song,Song: I know it's do or die, yes

Song,Song: I could end up doing pillow business

Song,Song: Even that day of the month is safe and secure

Song,Song: Scarlet, blood ruby, an idol's badge of honor

Song,Song: La la la, idol

Song,Song: La la la, idol

Song,Song: Foot soldier, loot and plunder, pillow seller

Song,Song: Idol, idol, idling

Song,Song: We can't swerve around aging

Sign: Oedo Dome

Bit: How ironic it is

Bit: that the stage on which an idol stands to give people dreams

Bit: is built on the wrecks of countless other dreams.

Bit: But that's why she shines brightly, like a lone star in the dark.

Bit: She will walk over our dreams and those of her friends

Bit: and continue down this path of chaos we call idol stardom.

Bit: I don't know if you'll be able to make up for what you've sacrificed.

Bit: You just let go of a talent that could surpass Otsu.

Bit: She has the ruthlessness to take down her enemies,

Bit: and the selflessness to cast herself aside to help her friends.

Bit: A diamond covered in boogers,with two totally contrasting faces.

Shin: Gin-san, Kagura-chan!

Shin: Wait a second. Aren't you gonna watch?

OMom: Yeah. I asked her if she would like to keep at it,

Gin: Damn it, I couldn't make any money again.

OMom: but she refused, saying she was already part of an idol group.

OMom: It's too bad, but she's fine that way.

OMom: I mean, she shines brightest in that group of three.

Song: Beyond all the cigarettes, alcohol, and shaved heads,

Song: the one who filled me with passion again was...

Song,Song: It was you, you, you

Tsu: Thenk you.

Song,TV: Knock it off already

G: Otsu-chan really is cute.

G: But there's something off about her lately.

G: Look at what she started doing, even though she's an idol.

G: Apparently, she was influenced by an idol group she really loves.

G: A group that disbanded right after making its debut.

G: What was it called, again?

Kag: Booger Diamonds .

G: That's it! The phantom idol group, Booger Diamonds !

Kag: It's no phantom.

Kag: It remains in my heart

Kag: as the idol group of dreams!

Preview,Sign: Preview

Tama: Just to let you know in advance,

Tama: this isn't a sales promotion for our upcoming game.

Title: The Line Between Godlike Games and Shitty Games Is Paper-Thin

Tama: We're just messing around.

TextR: There you have it,

TextL: so keep that in mind, all of you.

TextR: Next time, we're again going with wave, wind,

TextL: and standing all the way!