10x02 - Flavoring Is Best in Small Quantities

[bunniefuu]

Gintama,OP Card: Gintama

Silver Soul,OP Card: Silver Soul

Title: Silver Soul Arc

Title: Flavoring Is Best in Small Quantities

Kat: Utsuro made the Altana reserves of seven planets go berserk, destroying them.

Kat: His true goal was to use the Altana Liberation Army and turn Earth...

Kat: into space dust.

Kat: So our job is to...

Kat: Pass the soy sauce, please.

Sak: I see. Soy sauce, eh?

Warning,Warning: Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!

Sak: And what do we do once we control the soy sauce?

Kat: Fire it all at once toward the croquette, obviously.

Sak: Zura, trickery only works when you also use traditional tactics.

Sak: Croquettes are better with Worcestershire sauce.

Kat: A samurai can eat anything as long as he has salt and soy sauce.

Kat: It's because you get influenced by foreign culture and use katakana seasoning

Kat: that you get called "idiot" and "moron" in katakana.

Sak: Zura, croquettes themselves are written in katakana.

Sak: Ain't it common sense to use katakana seasoning on katakana foods?

Kat: It's not that simple.

Kat: The katakana Yu Darvish and his wife Saeko didn't work out,

Kat: but things worked out great for Nishikawa Kiyoshi and Helen.

Kat: The world works in strange ways.

Sak: As lovey-dovey as Kiyoshi and his wife seem, they must've had tons of difficulties.

Kat: No way. It's obvious from Helen's smile.

Sak: Have you seen Saeko's smile, then?

Kat: What the hell do you know about Helen?

Sak: What do you know about Saeko's suffering?!

Kat: Say what?

Shin: That shtick is particularly irritating when you consider that Earth is in peril.

Gin: Right? Makes you wanna destroy Earth, right?

Gin: Long story short, both Helen and Saeko did their best.

Gin: And to save Earth, defeating Utsuro ain't enough.

Gin: We also have to stop the w*r that he started.

Gin: Let's say...

Gin: Earth is this croquette, and the maple syrup on top is the Liberation Army.

Gin: The pocky stuck in the middle is Utsuro...

Shin: Uh, the syrup packs too much punch. I can't follow at all.

Kag: How confusing. Basically, it's like this.

Kag: The croquette here is Earth.

Kag: All the gastric acid attacking it is the Liberation Army.

Shin: Pretty sure Earth's done for here. It's been eaten.

Shin: Could you stop likening it to a croquette?

Sign: It's like this, right?

Shin: What the hell did you eat?!

Shin: That's Korokke the actor, not croquette!

Mut: That's just how it is.

Mut: We can't even agree on how to eat croquettes.

Mut: So we should just eat it however we like, with whatever seasoning we like.

Mut: In other words,

Mut: no different from how it's always been.

Shin: Even as you say that, your belly's swollen with croquettes!

Shin: You really are a Yato, huh?

Sak: Even if Earth is in peril, a trader's gotta do business.

Shin: Business?

Sak: We're gonna negotiate with the Liberation Army.

Sak: For that, we need ta take the Tendoshu and Utsuro's heads first.

Sak: We'll sell those heads to the Liberation Army.

Sak: In return, we'll buy Earth's future.

Kat: Will that really stop the w*r?

Kat: They're fixated on Earth itself, you know.

Gin: That's exactly why we have to do it.

Gin: We have to show the entire universe that Earthlings have the power to defend Earth from

Gin: the Tendoshu and the Liberation Army.

Gin: Or else, Earth doesn't have a future.

Kat: Even so,

Kat: is it even possible to bring them to the negotiating table?

Kat: Do you really think they'll listen to nobodies like us?

Nb: Oh, they will.

Nb: If they hear that you're not rebels who turned against the bakufu,

Nb: but Shogun Tokugawa Nobunobu's official army.

Shin: Lord Nobunobu?!

Sak: What's this, Shogun-sama?

Sak: You're finally willin' to touch the space food that Gran cooked?

Nb: Give me another croquette.

G: Sir!

Nb: As pathetic as the food may be,

Nb: one can't fight on an empty stomach. You're the one who told me that.

Nb: Take me with you.

Nb: If you do, the Liberation Army will treat you as Earth's envoys.

Kag: You're telling us to become your retainers?!

Kag: Keep the jokes to your crew cut, okay?!

Shin: Kagura-chan!

Nb: A man who became shogun by being a puppet has no retainers.

Nb: But even if I'm an empty figurehead, I can still use the title of shogun.

Nb: Let me at least choose for myself my final act as a puppet.

Kat: After being a puppet all your life, now you'll willingly choose to act as one?

Kat: Are you trying to atone for your sins?

Kat: No matter how hard you try, we'll never forget what you've done.

Nb: I won't forget, either.

Nb: All an empty shogun can do is take in all of his subjects' sorrow, hatred, and hopes,

Nb: and watch how things play out until the end.

Nb: Hey.

Nb: This is how one is supposed to eat croquettes, I take it?

G: Thank you for coming, Shogun-dono.

G: So, what can we do for you?

Nb: As representative of Earth's people, there is something I must discuss with you.

Nb: Can I use your toilet?

Kat: And that was how the first contact between us and the Liberation Army went.

Kat: They really cannot be taken lightly.

Kat: You don't even have to wipe your ass

Kat: with this terrifying technology called "washlet" that they've developed.

Shin: What the hell are you guys negotiating?!

Kat: Because you guys put all sorts of stuff on his croquettes,

Kat: it seems he's had an upset stomach for the past three days.

Shin: That doesn't mean that after barging into the enemy's base,

Shin: you borrow their toilet and call it a done deal!

Kat: Relax. It wasn't just their toilet that we borrowed.

Sign: Abarenbo Shogun

Kat: We also borrowed sweats and underwear.

Shin: So he pooped his pants after all?

Kat: We also borrowed In**pendence Day and S*** Wars.

Shin: Why were you at Zudaya? Why were you guys in sweats, too?!

Kat: We really can't take the Liberation Army lightly.

Kat: They even have lodging facilities and Zudaya on their mother ship.

Kat: But we're preparing for tomorrow by watching S*** Wars.

Kat: We shan't lose.

Shin: You've already lost!

Shin: The moment you decided to prepare using a video you borrowed from the enemy,

Shin: the Earth was doomed!

Kat: The real negotiations start tomorrow.

Kat: Our battle has only just begun.

Kat: How are things on your end?

Shin: While you guys were watching S*** Wars, actual s*** wars broke out over here.

Shin: In the name of saving Earth,

Shin: the Liberation Army was looting and pillaging everything.

Shin: Citizens all over Edo are revolting to put an end to this.

Is this all the Liberation Army's got?

I thought they'd entertain us, but they ran away as soon as we poked 'em a little.

Yuki-chan of the Iai YankWank Pub I frequent is much more liberatin'.

Sai: You don't understand a thing.

Sai: Did you learn nothing from watching Jirocho?

Boss is a master of iai yanking too, y'know?

Sai: Shut up.

Kyo: The Liberation Army must've quickly retreated because it was their plan all along.

Tet: Now they can say they're suppressing a riot and go all-out to take control of Edo.

HB: Can't wait.

Sign: Can't wait. The real fun starts now, huh?

HB: The real fun starts now, huh?

Sai: In unarmed combat, I don't think even gods or devils could b*at me.

Sai: But we're up against people who can wipe out an entire town if they feel like it.

Sai: They've pummeled me—the Saigo—and Jirocho once already.

Sai: How are we supposed to b*at them?

Gen: I'll handle the fighting with machines part.

Gen: You morons can fight your own moronic battles.

Oto: This makes me happy.

Oto: I never thought I'd live long enough to see another massive fight like this.

Oto: I'm looking forward to you guys avenging my husband.

Sai: The geezers and hags of this town are scarier than gods or devils!

W: Everyone,

W: thanks for keeping watch.

Tae: We've brought refreshments!

Tae: Help yourselves—

Shin: Under the Four Devas' leadership,

Shin: the Kabuki District is preparing for the Liberation Army's next move.

Shin: Come, now, don't be shy. Eat up.

Shin: As for Kyubei-san and the rest of the Yagyu...

Kyu: It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.

Kyu: Those who're capable of fighting and those who aren't

Kyu: should both just do everything they can.

Kyu: If we all come together as one, I'm sure we can overcome any adversity!

Kyu: We, the Yagyu Family, will protect you to the last!

Kyu: So would you all protect our country with us?

Bin: How you've grown, Kyubei.

Toj: Young Master! I'm sure your mother is watching your heroics in heaven!

G: We can help! Use us!

W: Me, too!

W: And us!

G: And me!

Kyu: Thank you. Thank you.

Kyu: Tha...

Shin: While calling for the people to rise up,

Shin: they seem to be trying to solidify the various groups.

Shin: And then there's...

Sac: How's the Liberation Army looking?

G: Unable to handle the public's resistance, they've retreated for now.

Sac: So they're preparing to crush Edo once and for all.

Sac: Let all of Edo know and guide the people to the shelters.

G: Understood.

Sac: What about the other thing?

G: Haven't found him yet.

Sac: I see.

Sac: Very well. Dismissed.

Sac: What is he doing?

Shin: Sacchan-san and the Oniwaban

Shin: are keeping an eye on the Liberation Army.

Shin: Tsukuyo-san and g*ng are...

G: No!

G: I don't wanna be sold to Yoshiwara!

G: You people are monsters!

G: Even if you take my body, you won't have my heart!

Hya: You don't have to work here. Just take refuge.

G: Shut it, fugly!

Hya: Who're you calling fugly, you hag?!

G: What's wrong with calling a fugly a fugly?!

Hin: How ironic.

Hin: That thick ceiling, which once kept us Yoshiwara women locked up underground,

Hin: is now acting as a truly reliable shield.

Hin: I thought I'd never see this metallic sky again.

Hin: It looks completely different now, doesn't it?

Hin: Is it because we know we're connected, even if it's shut?

Hin: Connected to the skies over Edo, where everyone is.

Tsu: Yeah.

Tsu: So we should fight, too,

Tsu: along with the ones who live under the same skies as us.

Shin: Katsura-san.

Shin: Make sure the Liberation Army knows

Shin: that we will never lose.

Shin: Katsura-san.

Shin: Make sure the Liberation Army knows

Shin: that we will never lose.

Shin: There you have it.

Shin: These people aren't rioters.

Shin: Earthlings rose up to stop the Liberation Army's looting and savagery.

Shin: If your soldiers back off, so will they.

G: We were trying to liberate you from the Tendoshu's rule, you know.

G: You call that savagery?

Sak: It was savagery.

Sak: We samurai prefer ta wipe our own asses and clean up our own messes.

Sak: And you stole our prey from us.

G: You mean to say you'll deal with the Tendoshu without our help?

G: Like you can—

Nb: They can.

Nb: They put me through hell, so I know it better than anyone.

Nb: A word of advice:

Nb: do not get on their bad side.

Nb: Also...

Nb: Can I use your toil—

Sak: Just clench your butt.

Kat: This is do-or-die for both Earth and you.

Shu: Oh?

Shu: You seem to have a very favorable opinion of your subjects.

Shu: But we can't back down, either.

Kat: Admiral Shijaku.

Kat: A primary player in the Liberation Army's formation,

Kat: and a master of fleet warfare.

Kat: A big sh*t has shown up.

Nb: A big one's going to show up here, too!

Shi: The Tendoshu aren't your country's problem alone.

Shi: Many planets that were home to my comrades here were destroyed.

Shi: Ending the Agency's long rule

Shi: and taking back our freedom in this battle

Shi: is the greatest wish of people all across the universe, and our biggest challenge.

Shi: Shouldn't we take one another's hand and deal with this together?

Shi: The Tokugawa Bakufu is a puppet regime that the Tendoshu controlled for ages.

Shi: I thought they'd been rendered spineless.

Shi: I never expected them to come this far.

Shi: But his fear is clear for all to see.

Shi: He can't assert his country's will if it turns the entire universe against them.

Shi: Nobody can.

Shi: Can we take your lack of response as a sign that you accept us?

Nb: What do you think freedom is?

Nb: Does the freedom you people seek

Nb: mean benefiting even if you have to take away the freedom of other planets?

Nb: The freedom we samurai seek is a much higher standard.

Nb: True freedom is

Nb: being able to go to the toilet whenever you want!

Sak: Poop whenever you want.

Kat: I have a change of Pampers ready for you.

Shi: He's still keeping up his headstrong attitude?

G: Does that mean you consider the Liberation Army your enemie—

Nb: Enough!

Nb: Don't make me repeat myself over and over!

Nb: We'll take down the Tendoshu ourselves.

Nb: If you want to help, feel free.

Nb: But if you want to mess with our country in the name of helping,

Nb: we'll take you down as well!

Nb: Okay! That's it! We're done here!

Shi: Forget asking for help. He ended the negotiations himself.

Shi: Is it not fear he's showing, then? No, it most definitely is fear.

Shi: But that's...

Sak: Not yet.

Kat: Spew everything here, and not just from your butt.

Shi: That's a fear directed at something else.

Shi: Wait, Shogun-dono!

Nb: Knock it off already!

Nb: If you keep me here any longer,

Nb: I just might end up launching it.

G: L-Launching?!

G: You!

G: Y-You couldn't have!

G: Freeze!

G: This is all futile. It's too late.

G: Nobody can stop it anymore. Not even me.

G: What are you packing?

G: What are you planning to launch?

G: Time-based missiles? Interplanetary ballistic missiles?

G: Answer!

Kat: Nope.

Sak: It's poop.

Nb: The ones who forced me to do this

Nb: were none other than you lot!

Shi: Calm down, everyone.

G: Admiral.

Shi: So that's what you were so afraid of.

Shi: You planned on using it as your Tr*mp card all along?

Nb: I sent you several warning signs.

Nb: Not my fault you lot didn't notice them.

Shi: So it was an ace in the hole you would've preferred not to use?

Shi: What will happen if it's launched?

Shi: Is the target this S.S. Heavenly Bird?

Nb: Isn't that obvious? It's simple.

Nb: No amount of asswiping will ever clear the disgrace it'll bring my name.

Nb: And future generations won't ever forget it.

G: A w*apon that'll even affect future generations?

G: It must be...

Bo: A nuke!

Kat: Nope.

Sak: It's poop.

G: I-Impossible!

G: We thoroughly investigated the ships they arrived in! They're still under watch!

G: The Army should have control of Earth's main weapons, too.

G: Where did you keep something like that hidden?

Nb: Three minutes until launch.

Nb: One, two, three...

Nb: Run away from here immediately!

G: Is it inside his stomach?

Shi: I've heard that Earth samurai have weapons in their bellies.

Nb: Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...

Shi: Apparently, that w*apon they're prepared to die to use is as powerful as a nuke.

Shi: I see.

Shi: So this is the samurai's lethal w*apon,

Shi: disembowelment!

Kat: Nope.

Sak: It's a bowel movement.

G: Disembowelment? Wh-What is that?

Shi: I don't know exactly, but guessing from his stance,

Shi: it's a w*apon that converts whatever's in his stomach into energy

Shi: and fires it out of his butt.

Kat: Uh, that's pretty much...

Sak: It's poop.

G: How can we stop it?

Shi: I don't know how exactly,

Shi: but taking in fiber and the like to clear the bowels

Shi: should mitigate its impact.

Kat: Uh, that's exactly...

Sak: It's poop.

G: I-It's a bluff!

G: No way can he launch something as powerful as a nuke from this stupid pose.

G: Seize him!

Nb: No!

Nb: Not there!

G: J-Just getting close made them...

G: It's the real deal!

G: It's a real disembowelment!

Shi: Evacuate at once!

Shi: Issue a level one alarm!

Shi: Get away from S.S. Heavenly Bird at full speed!

G: A-Admiral?

G: What are you doing?

Shi: Hurry up and go.

Shi: I cannot abandon my ship.

G: Admiral!

Shi: It seems I underestimated you earthlings.

Shi: I never expected you to be prepared to k*ll yourself for these negotiations.

Shi: Your resolve was splendid.

Shi: I was lacking in proper etiquette.

Shi: When someone risks their life to challenge you,

Shi: my planet's etiquette dictates that you must respond by risking your own life.

Shi: I too shall risk my life

Shi: to put an end to this pointless conflict.

Shi: The real negotiations start now!

G: Is that a counter-disembowelment?

G: What the heck is a counter-disembowelment?

G: I don't know exactly, but when the enemy fires his,

G: he'll probably fire his own disembowelment to neutralize it.

G: Can the admiral really use disembowelment?

G: I don't know, but...

Shi: Whoa!

Shi: I feel like I can release something right now!

Shi: Is this... Is this...

Kat: Nope.

Sak: It's poop.

G: Admiral?

G: What's the matter, Admiral?

G: What happened?

Shi: Uh, can I ask you something?

Shi: What exactly is disembowelment?

Nb: Dunno.

Shi: Of course you don't!

Shi: I knew all along! There's no way it could've been true!

Shi: Well, the guys don't seem to have realized yet,

Shi: so please don't tell them, okay?

Nb: Very well. But in return...

Shi: I know. I'll talk to the others and make the negotiations easier.

Nb: No, before that...

KatSak: Could you let him use your toilet?

KatSak: Go dump as much as you want.

Kat: These negotiations temporarily softened the Liberation Army's stance.

Sign: Well done.

Kat: A peaceful resolution to the riots

Kat: and greater discipline from the army were among the promises made,

Kat: but we couldn't get them to withdraw their troops stationed on Earth.

Kat: But our biggest gain this time

Kat: might be the reliable friend we made in the Liberation Army.

Shi: Don't tell anyone.

Sign: Abarenbo Admiral

Nb: Right back at you.

Sign: Abarenbo Shogun

Shi: It's a promise, okay?

Nb: You keep your promise too, okay?

Kat: That's about it.

Kat: We couldn't stop the w*r, but it wasn't bad for a first meeting.

Kat: Well? How'd you like our negotiation skills?

Shin: Uh, it was poop.

Sign: To Be Continued

Sign: Preview

Shi: That's a real disembowelment, huh?

Gin: If we don't defeat them, this will never end.

Title: Silver Soul Arc

Title: A Delinquent's Kid Has Long Neck Hair

TextR: Sorry it was

TextL: pretty much poop.

TextR: Next time, the biggest fish, Utsuro, shows up.

TextL: Another new character appears, too.