K: Men,
K: I called you here for one reason:
Warning,Warning: Watch the Silver Soul Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!!
K: there is an issue causing unrest in the court,
K: and I felt the need to discuss it immediately.
K: I have heard all about it.
K: Ever since I fell sick,
K: the struggle for the right to succeed me as king of Planet Okoku
K: has split you all into two factions
K: that are locked in an ugly conflict over succession.
K: This is all my fault for being weak.
K: I don't have long left.
K: So I must resolve this problem before I go.
Jii: Your Highness, you needn't trouble yourself with this.
Jii: Our utmost desire is to see you remain on the throne for as long as possible.
Jii: Please leave the administration to us and focus on recovering.
Jii: Prince Hata is leading us retainers in your stead.
Jii: His kind heart, filled with love for every living being,
Jii: is propping us all up.
Jii: He will surely be a wonderful king.
Dan: Kindness?
Dan: Nes, are you saying that qualifies him to be king?
Dan: Can a "kind" prince who ignores national affairs to dote on animals
Dan: really protect the subjects?
Jii: Dan! You dare to insult the prince in front of the king?!
Dan: I'm prepared to sacrifice my life to say this.
Dan: Your Highness!
Dan: Only Prince Barkas can lead this country and its people!
Dan: His acumen in m*llitary strategy, his political savvy,
Dan: and above all, his status as the eldest son make him truly fit to be king!
Dan: So why hasn't he been appointed successor?
Jii: Dan, don't cause any more political unrest than you already have.
Dan: Shut up!
Dan: You're just a hyena who wants to leech off of Prince Hata!
Jii: Hmph. You know very well why he hasn't been made successor.
Jii: Prince Barkas certainly is brilliant and has a personality fit to be king.
Jii: But there is one kingly quality that he crucially loses out to Prince Hata on.
Jii: That's right. He is tiny!
Jii: Oh, pardon me. I forgot that you're pretty small yourself.
Jii: I mean the symbol of our race's males and our pride:
Sign: Peerinitis
Jii: Peerinitis.
Jii: Or, for short, Penis!
Sign: Penis
Jii: Since ancient times, a male's worth has been decided by his forehead Penis's size,
Jii: and we've placed utmost importance on it.
Jii: Regardless of everything else, the one with the bigger Penis is better.
Jii: The one with the bigger Penis is more popular.
Jii: The one with the bigger Penis has an easier time hailing taxis.
Jii: The one with the bigger Penis is a superior creature!
Jii: The royal family is no exception.
Jii: Even if he was born first, even if he's hugely talented,
Jii: one with a tiny Penis has no right to be king!
Jii: Because while hard work can make up for a lack of talent,
Jii: nothing can be done about Penis size!
Jii: You want to ignore that tradition and make a tiny man king?!
Jii: Have some shame!
Dan: H-He's not tiny! Even the prince is average when erect...
G: Dan, don't go there. Don't bring up erections.
Jii: If you bring that up, Prince Hata is much bigger when he has a chub, too!
G: Nes, don't go there. Don't bring up chubs.
Dan: I'm saying that the tradition is a blight on our race!
Dan: Can one rule the country with one's Penis?
Dan: Even if he has a small Penis, a talented man will build a better country!
Dan: Who cares about a Penis? What is a Penis, anyway?!
Jii: Are you insulting His Highness?
Jii: He became king solely through the size of his Penis!
Jii: If you took his Penis away, what would he have left?
Jii: Just water, that's what!
Dan: You're the one insulting him!
Dan: His Highness has plenty of virtues aside from his Penis.
Jii: What are they? Enlighten us!
Dan: U-Uh, you know, he has an easier time hailing taxis!
Jii: That's because he has a big Penis!
Jii: His Highness has nothing but his Penis! He has to stake it all on his Penis!
Jii: Turn it around, and it means even a blockhead can be competent if he has a big Penis.
Jii: As long as he has a big Penis, everything else will work itself out!
Jii: Right, Your Highness?
Jii: Your Highness!
Jii: Hang in there, Peni— Your Highness!
Dan: Call a doctor!
Jii: Your Highness, please tell us before you go!
Dan: Who will be the next king?
Jii: The one with the big Penis?
Dan: The one who has a smaller Penis but is capable?
Jii: Big Penis?
Dan: Smaller Penis but capable?
Bo: Your Highness!
K: Th-The one... who has a big Penis... and is capable...
Bark: I suppose Father could never forget about Brother.
Bark: Our elder brother,
Bark: First Prince of Planet Okoku, Dragonia.
Bark: A hero who was hailed as the Nine-Dragon Prince.
Bark: At the young age of five, his Penis was as long as a dragon's whisker,
Sign: years old
Bark: and his talents threatened to pierce the heavens, like a dragon's horns.
Bark: They said that the country was sure to prosper if he became king.
Bark: But the massive size of his Penis led to tragedy,
Bark: and he left us all behind.
Bark: That's what you call a king.
Hata: Th-That's not true, Brother!
Hata: You're just as good! It's just, your Penis...
Hata: Sorry.
Bark: Don't say that, Hata.
Bark: In these peaceful times, a kind man like you is better suited to be king.
Bark: But if I remain here, that peace won't last long.
Bark: Fighting will surely break out over the throne.
Bark: Become a kind king who loves all living beings, Hata.
Hata: Brother...
Hata: Brother...
Hata: Close shave! I d*ed for a moment just now!
Hata: What's this? What's going on right now, again?
G: Unhand the prince, you knave!
Kat: Prince Half-Wit... I'd heard that you love animals,
Kat: but to think you'd build an ark to keep Earth's species alive...
Kat: I see you in a new light now.
Kat: But there's something you should keep in mind.
Kat: Earth also has savage beasts that you can't handle.
Kat: Send word to your country at once!
Kat: "The prince's life is in danger!
Kat: Gather up all the troops in the country and rush to his aid!
Kat: The entire army of Planet Okoku must make the prince's wish come true.
Kat: We must rise up to protect Earth and stop the Liberation Army!"
Sak: Zura! You...
Sak: In this desperate situation,
Sak: are you trying to find Earth an ally?
Hat: Are you out of your mind?!
Hat: You want us to fight the entire universe for you lot?!
Kat: I'm not telling you to fight.
Kat: The Liberation Army is currently rooted to Earth.
Kat: They think it has no allies across the universe.
Kat: What do you think will happen if an allied army suddenly shows up?
Sign: Liberation Army
Kat: All you need to do is draw the enemy's attention.
Sign: Okoku Army
Kat: After that, you're free to flee if you want.
Sign: Not Zura, Katsura
Kat: We'll take that opportunity to take over the Liberation Army's HQ and stop the w*r.
Kat: This way, you can protect all of Earth's species.
Hata: Screw you! Our own species could die out from this!
Hata: Besides, why should I care about Earth's survival?
Hata: I was just building a collection! Who the hell brought this stray dog in?!
Jii: Your orders were to take in species from Earth at random, Prince.
Hata: Can't you tell the difference
Hata: between species that are better off dead and ones that need protection, geezer?!
Jii: Understood, Prince.
Jii: Hey, get rid of the Joi Rebills along with that white pig.
Hata: Sorry about that. Protect the pig, okay?
Hata: The pig can live, don't you think?
Jii: Don't you get it?
Jii: Right now, your life isn't in the hands of the Joi Rebills or the Liberation Army,
Jii: but this old man here!
Jii: Where's your reply, pig?
Hata: O-Oink!
Jii: Hear that, men?
Jii: To protect our country, the prince is acting like a pig
Jii: and telling you to sh**t him and the enemy.
Jii: Pull the trigger.
Hata: Nothing's changed!
Mad: That stray dog
Mad: ain't the only one in here.
Mad: Why not get rid of it along with the baa-ing white goat?
Hata: You!
Kat: You sure took your time, Chief of Immigration.
Mad: Yeah. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Mad: I had to get up from clinging to the ground and drag myself here.
Mad: Cut me some slack.
Mad: A loser underdog has his own way of flying.
Mad: I munched on dog food and did the dog paddle to get all the way here.
Mad: Now, shall we be on our way, Master?
Kat: It's time for a walk.
Jii: No! I don't want to die, but I don't want to fight the Liberation Army, either!
Hata: Serves you right! This is what you get for getting carried away!
Jii: It's all your fault for bringing this guy in to get your revenge, Prince Hog!
Hata: Hasegawa-san! k*ll that geezer already!
Jii: Hey, Joi Rebills! I'll work with you, so k*ll that pig prince!
Hata: Somebody shut that geezer up! Fire!
Jii: Go ahead and fire! But make sure to k*ll that pig after me!
Hata: Fire, now!
Jii: Open fire!
Dan: I opened fire,
Dan: just as you ordered.
Hata: Dan, you!
Kat: g*nf*re?
Kat: Zura, what's going on?!
Kat: Zura!
Dan: I have waited a long time for this.
Dan: I've waited ever since you people exiled Prince Barkas
Dan: for this moment when I could wipe out the morons with nothing but big Penises
Dan: and establish a country of tiny ones.
Dan: If we joined forces with Earth,
Dan: not only would our country get wiped out, but also our entire planet.
Dan: At least be of use to the country with your dying breath,
Dan: by disappearing from this world along with your incompetent Penises.
Kat: Elizabeth... Hey, Elizabeth!
Dan: But before you go, I have something to ask you.
Dan: Why did you stay a prince even after you took over the country?
Dan: Why'd you leave the throne empty instead of becoming king?!
Shi: But you do have a king.
Shi: A capable man with a huge Penis,
Shi: the Nine-Dragon Prince, Dragonia.
Shi: Back then, you said this...
Hata: Brother, he's right here.
Hata: With his big Penis and vast talents... He's right here.
Hata: I have a big Penis,
Hata: and you're overflowing with talent.
Hata: If we work together, we can be Dragonia.
Hata: So I'll remain a prince and wait.
Shi: "Wait for the other half of me and Dragonia."
Shi: Dan, stand down!
Shi: Who do you think that man is?
Shi: Who do you think we are?
Shi: It's the return of the king.
Gintama,OP Card: Gintama
Silver Soul,OP Card: Silver Soul
Shi: Leaving my kid brother alone,
Shi: I left the country
Shi: so that the peaceful country would have a kind king befitting it,
Shi: believing that there'd be a country out there that suited me more.
En: Oh? I didn't know our lukewarm neighbors had a fiery man like you.
En: Who are you?
Shi: On a b*ttlefield, both princes and laymen fall to the ground equally as corpses.
Shi: Isn't that right, Prince Ensho?
Shi: I cast aside my name, my status, and my Penis,
Shi: and kept fighting in search of a country of my own.
Shi: But the place at the end of my journey
Shi: was here after all.
Shi: My little brother, Hata.
Shi: Seeing you still waiting for me to return made me realize
Shi: that I was merely running away.
Shi: The b*ttlefield I belonged on was in front of my eyes all along.
Shi: Hata, forgive me. I made you fight all by yourself for so long.
Shi: But I will not run away anymore.
Shi: Even if standing beside my kid brother with a big Penis covers me in disgrace,
Shi: even if the responsibility of being a great prince's kid brother crushes me,
Shi: I will fight alongside you!
Shi: Exposing this tiny Penis for all to see!
Shi: Men, we are the great Okoku Kingdom's king,
Shi: Dragonia!
Jii: P-Prince?
Dan: No way... He was alive?
Shi: Dan, you people once tried to make me king.
Shi: Could you lower your g*ns out of respect for me?
Shi: This is no time to be fighting over Penis sizes.
Shi: Both tiny and big must join Penises and fight together.
Shi: To that end, the big Hata and the tiny me will become king!
Shi: Let's work together and take down the Liberation—
Dan: Don't be fooled!
Dan: He d*ed a long time ago!
Dan: Exorcise the specter that threatens to lead our tiny Penis faction astray!
Shi: You can't believe, Dan?
Shi: Then come see me! I'll show you my Penis that's just as tiny as yours!
Dan: Wh-What are you doing? Hurry up and fire.
G: B-But Minister, that huge Penis is definitely...
Shi: Huge penis?
Shi: Huh? Who are you talking about?
Kat: E-Elizabeth...
G: The hell is that?
G: Something outrageous came out of Elizabeth-san after he got knocked out!
Jii: Prince, you might not remember because you were so young,
Jii: but I have never once forgotten the sight.
Jii: That giant Penis that looks like a dragon's whisker
Jii: definitely belongs to the eldest of the three princes of Planet Okoku,
Jii: the one who was considered to have d*ed in an accident,
Jii: the legendary Nine-Dragon Prince, Dragonia!
That's what you meant?!
Shi: There was another prince there, too?
Shi: Was nobody listening to me at all?
Shi: Hey, Hata? Dan?
Shi: Are you listening to me?
Dan: Fire! Hurry up and fire!
Sign: Eight One Two Seven Nine Three Six Five Four
Numbers,Sign: One
Numbers,Sign: Two
Numbers,Sign: Three
Numbers,Sign: Four
Numbers,Sign: Five
Numbers,Sign: Six
Numbers,Sign: Seven
Numbers,Sign: Eight
Numbers,Sign: Nine
Numbers,Sign: One
Numbers,Sign: Two
Numbers,Sign: Three
Numbers,Sign: Four
Numbers,Sign: Five
Numbers,Sign: Six
Numbers,Sign: Seven
Numbers,Sign: Eight
Numbers,Sign: Nine
Numbers,Sign: One
Numbers,Sign: Two
Numbers,Sign: Three
Numbers,Sign: Four
Numbers,Sign: Five
Numbers,Sign: Six
Numbers,Sign: Seven
Numbers,Sign: Eight
Numbers,Sign: Nine
sign___Nine_Headed_Drag,Sign: Nine-Headed Dragon Thrash
sign___Nine_Headed__Dra,Sign: Nine-Headed Dragon Thrash!
sign___One_,Sign: One
sign___Two,Sign: Two
sign___Three,Sign: Three
sign___Four,Sign: Four
sign___Five,Sign: Five
sign___Six,Sign: Six
sign___Seven,Sign: Seven
sign___Eight,Sign: Eight
sign___Nine_,Sign: Nine
Jii: What power!
Jii: A technique most worthy of Nine-Dragon, said to possess nine Penis heads.
Hata: Gramps, forget a worthy Nine-Dragon technique, isn't that just a rip-off?
Hata: Isn't it just Nine-Headed Dragon Trash?
Jii: You're alive, Prince Dragonia?
Hata: You're letting them out?
Jii: You look different now, but I've never forgotten how your Penis looked.
Hata: Hey, Gramps! You call it a Penis, but it might actually be one!
Hata: It might be the one that hangs from the crotch!
Kat: Elizabeth, you...
Penis: Katsura-san, I've always lived through life not knowing anything about myself.
Hata: Uh, Gramps? The Penis is talking!
Penis: Who was I, and where was I born?
Penis: I've lived my life never thinking about that or questioning it.
Hata: Hey, Gramps! Which one's Brother here?
Hata: Which one's the actual body? Is this what he was like?
Penis: But when I hit my head hard just now, I feel like I caught a glimpse.
Penis: I think I once had an accident so bad that I forgot who I was.
Penis: And while I was on the brink of death...
Sign: From now on, you're one of us.
Penis: I don't recall the details.
Penis: But there is just one thing I've clearly remembered.
Penis: My name is Dragonia.
Hata: Dragonia, my foot!
Hata: What was that flashback?
Hata: The one that showed up midway looked more like you!
Hata: Which one was you, and how did Brother end up like this from that situation?
Jii: I don't really understand all of it,
Jii: but since his Penis is big, does it really matter?
Hata: Are you looking at nothing but the Penis, you shitty geezer?
Jii: Prince Dragonia!
Jii: We have eagerly awaited your return, the return of our king!
G: Prince Hata! Are you all right?
G: What happened here?
G: Wait! That Penis...
Hata: Hey, you guys try talking some sense into him, too.
Hata: Gramps is saying this monster Penis is Prince Dragonia.
G: Our King, please give us the order to sh**t that insolent pig to death.
Hata: A big Penis is enough to get you to switch sides? You guys are way too easy!
Jii: Could you please return home
Jii: and rebuild the country that the stupid prince ruined?
Hata: Who're you calling the stupid prince?
Penis: Dragonia doesn't exist within me anymore.
Sign: That's just an empty name.
Penis: I'm not Dragonia from Planet Okoku anymore.
Sign: I've become Elizabeth from Earth.
Penis: So I have no right to be king.
Penis: But even if I can't be king,
Penis: I can fight with you and help you take back your king.
Penis: They may be lacking as kings by themselves,
Penis: but together...
Penis: No, if they have your support,
Penis: I'm sure they'll be splendid kings.
Penis: So would you please fight alongside us?
Penis: Earth is all alone in the universe, and I want you to be its friend!
Title: Silver Soul Arc
Title: Men Must Live Not Long Nor Thick, but Hard
G: The path! The enemy's interference has split up our force!
G: The squad in the rear is being ambushed by the enemy.
G: Shall we go back to help?
Dak: No need.
Dak: It's mere child's play that must be ignored.
Dak: Desperate schemes can't overturn the difference in numbers.
Dak: Let's go!
Dak: Oh? I thought it was just a ploy to slow us down,
Dak: but they're seriously out to stop us, huh?
Cat: Looks like it's started.
Oto: Are they dividing the enemy
Sign: Kabuki District
Sign: Divide
Sign: Oniwaban
Sign: Oniwaban
Sign: Shinsengumi
Oto: and trying to weaken them before they get here, perhaps?
Sign: Kabuki District First
Oto: It's time.
Oto: I hope you're all ready.
G: Detected enemy approach!
All: Let's go!
Oto: Open combat!
Shin: Gin-san?!
TBC,Sign: To Be Continued
Preview,Sign: Preview
Shin: Wait! Time out!
Shin: We're on your side! We're Odd Jobs!
Sai: I hope you're prepared to have your balls plucked out!
Title: Silver Soul Arc
Title: Ogres Are Weak Against Tiny Heroes Like the Inch-High Samurai
TextR: The Liberation Army reaches the Kabuki District,
TextL: and the residents must all fight together.
TextR: The back-and-forth battle at the Kabuki District begins!
TextL: And you may have been suddenly taken out, but stand up and fight, Gintoki!
Side Bar Bottom: ,Thank you all for coming.
10x07 - Men Must Live Not Long or Thick, but Hard
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Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.
Japanese manga series where aliens have invaded and taken over feudal Tokyo, an unemployed samurai finds work however he can.