01x10 - A Fish Called Snakehead

[bunniefuu]

[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTING]

Okay, I need to stretch.

Really? We just started running,

after minutes of stretching.

Maybe we should be
a Pilates couple instead.

It's all about the core.
You know, tiny movements.

No, we're sticking with something.

You bought so many jogging outfits.

- [SPLASHES]
- [MAN SHRIEKS]

- What?
- I saw something.

- What?
- It was a fish, I think, but on land.

- Some kind of a land fish.
- Okay.

It slithered, like, three
feet into the water.

Uh-huh. Is this like when you
saw a pigeon riding a turtle?

- I did see that.
- Right.

Animals give each other
rides. It's a thing.

- Animals can be bros.
- Can we just go back to running?

I hate running. I hate it.
I'm gonna call somebody.

[WOMAN] Who? The fish police?

I don't know. Maybe.

[GARGLING]

I don't know why we keep trying
to do this at the same time.

[SPITS] I like it more
than flossing this way.

I always end up with little
bits of food in my hair.

If my spit is a different color

but we're using the same
toothpaste, is that bad?

Yes. Oh, God, look at my spit.

- Eh, maybe it's fine.
- All right, we better get going.

Everyone enjoy your
fresh-smelling breath

'cause soon we're all gonna
have spicy cheese bread mouth,

and that's a whole different smell.

I love that farmers market.

I love going as a family.

But I just wanna say, if there's
only one spicy cheese bread left,

I'm gonna fight all of you for it.

- Weapons or bare-knuckle?
- Both.

I'm gonna rub it on my
butt, then it's mine.

I will eat butt-rubbed
spicy cheese bread.

- I don't care.
- I like it better.

And then when we get back here,

I'm gonna just put in
a few hours of work.

Hope you guys don't mind.

It's a future Pulitzer
Prize-winning story

about corruption and scandal and...

[GROANS] Who am I kidding?

I'm stalled. I have
nothing to go to print with.

Mother, please.

No negativity on spicy
cheese bread day. It's sacred.

No, I know. It's just... It's big stuff.

- The mayor hates the park.
- [OWEN GROANS]

- Bitsy wants to buy the park.
- [OWEN GROANS]

And they're both coming after you.

Can we just not say all
these things out loud?

Doesn't help me pretend
they're not happening,

which is how I'd like
to deal with them today

and for the rest of my life.

That's it, Dad. Healthy modeling.

All right, should we all
try to pee at the same time?

Family that brushes
together flushes together.

- [ELWOOD ON RADIO] Owen?
- You guys start without me.

I'll jump in after I answer this.

Go ahead, Elwood.

- Did you say go ahead?
- Yeah, go ahead.

- Now?
- Yes.

Owen, there's been a sighting.
Something up at the Meer.

- Yeah?
- An aggressive, um, fish?

- Yeah?
- That might be a... a snakehead.

- What?
- I said a snakehead.

- No, I heard you.
- Oh, you meant "what" like "oh, no".

Yeah. I'll... I'll come right up there.

♪ It's spicy and it's cheesy
and it's going in my tummy... ♪

- D-Dad? What's wrong?
- You'll be right up where?

I gotta go up to the
Harlem Meer right now.

There might be a... s-snakehead.

Just the head? Seems like
the thr*at is neutralized.

Is it a mafia thing? Or voodoo?

No, it's a fish. They call
it the "fish from hell".

It's, like, the ultimate
invasive species.

That's what your mother called
me when we started dating.

You're gonna miss spicy cheese bread?

I guess so. I have a hell-fish to catch.

♪ You know the little baby turtles
that like to play peekaboo? ♪

♪ Well, you can kiss them goodbye
if a hell-fish comes through ♪

♪ They inflict ecosystem trauma ♪

♪ 'Cause they're hangry like piranhas ♪

♪ And they gobble up the fauna
like a fishy Jeffrey Dahmer ♪

♪ A snakehead would make a lake dead ♪

♪ And all the little lives in liquid ♪

♪ Are jeopardized by wicked hell-fish ♪

♪ If they invaded ♪

♪ It's the only reason I'd miss
out on spicy cheese bread ♪

♪ If a hell-fish finds a mate
it'll lay , eggs a day ♪

♪ And will walk from lake to lake ♪

♪ On his fins and spread
fast like the plague ♪

♪ It breathes air like a toad
and it lurks in the muck ♪

♪ If the hell-fish is really there ♪

♪ Then the pond might be f... screwed! ♪

♪ A snakehead would make a lake dead ♪

♪ And all the little lives in liquid ♪

♪ Are jeopardized by wicked hell-fish ♪

♪ If they invaded ♪

♪ It's the only reason I'd miss
out on spicy cheese bread ♪

♪ We hire experts in
ponds with pond PhDs ♪

♪ Who pH balance the ponds
and check on the pond species ♪

♪ Repair pond ecology
with fancy pond degrees ♪

♪ Making sure the pond turtles
are feeling super fertile ♪

♪ But there'd be
environmental catastrophe ♪

♪ If someone put a
hell-fish in the Meer ♪

♪ I don't think the park
ponds would persevere ♪

♪ No, no, no! ♪

♪ A snakehead would make the lake dead ♪

- ♪ And all the little lives in liquid ♪
- ♪ What about the turtles? ♪

- ♪ What about... What about the ducks? ♪
- ♪ Are jeopardized by wicked hell-fish ♪

- ♪ The hell-fish is the only reason ♪
- ♪ If they invaded ♪

- ♪ It's the only reason I'd miss out ♪
- ♪ I'd hate to miss out ♪

♪ On spicy cheese bread ♪

Gosh darn it. I'm coming with
you. I wanna see this thing.

- If it's there.
- If it's there.

I'm coming too. If it's
there, I wanna draw it.

Fista Puffs needs a
new monster to fight.

I'll come too.

I don't wanna be the only
one who doesn't see this thing.

You guys'll have all your hell-fish

inside jokes that I won't
be a part of. That's not cool.

Can't believe I'm choosing
something over SCB.

- Stop spelling around me.
- Sorry. Spicy cheese bread.

Oh.

So, the family is off
to see about a snakehead.

Speaking of little things
that flop around on land...

[BITSY] What do you
mean nobody likes me?

We did a poll. No one likes you.

That's ridiculous.
What was the question?

- "How do you feel about Bitsy Brandenham?"
- And?

And you could choose "like",
"don't care" or "yuck".

- Seriously?
- Yeah, it's science.

I'm flirty, fun and feisty.

Helen, tell him.

- What'd you say? Fussy?
- Feisty.

- Oh. Mm-hmm. There you have it.
- Whatever.

Who wants to be liked anyway?
That's what alcohol is for.

This is a Bloody Mayor-y. Get
it? Because you're the mayor?

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

See? You don't like a person
who says that? That's delightful.

Right, but, uh, the thing is

we can't do the whole park
deal if you're the face of it

and it turns out New
York doesn't like your...

- Don't say it. [GROANS]
- Face.

But I have an idea. I've
got a likability consultant.

She's expensive but she's good,
and she likes a challenge.

A challenge? Does no one
understand that I am enchanting?

You know that East Side
Strangler that they just caught?

He did better than you in the poll.

What? You asked people how
they felt about a strangler?

- Yes, to get a baseline.
- And I'm below it?

You're it. We made a new baseline.

The strangler came out okay.

I could sell the park to the
East Side Strangler today.

Fine. Call your precious
consultant. But I'm likable.

- Yep. Yep.
- You're stupid.

It was this big, and it
was on the bank there.

And then it walked back into
the water like this. [GRUNTING]

- Like this? [GRUNTING]
- Yeah, but more like... [GRUNTING]

- Like erotic?
- Kind of.

Do you think the fish was trying
to be erotic, or it can't help it?

It just naturally is.

A little of both maybe.

Oh, my God. He needs
glasses. And he's color-blind.

And he hit his head this
morning on the towel bar.

So you have to take all
this with a grain of salt.

I had brain surgery recently too.

You wanna tell them about that?

- You believe me, right?
- I... Show us the walk one more time.

It was like... [GRUNTING]

This is what I think it might look like.

- Ah! What's it saying?
- It's saying, "My mama didn't love me!"

Ah, a complicated backstory.

There it is! Oh.

There it is! No, that's just a stick.

- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- Hi, Marvin.

- Paige?
- Yes?

I'm looking at the layout
for tomorrow's paper.

- That's fun.
- There's nothing from you.

And yet, you work for
the paper as a writer.

Marvin, let me explain.

Are we about to have to
talk about your Bitsy story?

Yes, the Bitsy story. It's
huge. It's a major scandal.

Paige, I know. But at the moment,

it's all unprintable,
unsourced dead ends.

And the paper you work for is
called What's New, New York?

It's not called "Unprintable
Dead Ends, New York".

There it is! Oh, cup. There it is!

- Nope, same cup. There it is! Nope.
- Yeah, that's Dad.

What's that? What am I hearing?

I'm up at the Harlem
Meer with my family.

Owen's on alert 'cause there
might be a snakehead in the Meer.

The fish? The fish that
walks on land? Frankenfish?

Yeah, eats everything. Yeah.

- That's a great story. Write that.
- What?

That there might be a
snakehead in the Harlem Meer.

We don't know if it's really here.

That's okay. You're up
there looking, right?

"The hunt for the monster".
Plus, fish can't sue us.

- Marvin.
- Paige.

[GRUNTS] Fine. I'll send you something.

Five hundred words. And
pictures, get pictures.

I hope a fish does sue us.

- No, you don't.
- I do.

I wanted to sue a fish once.

It was in a taco. I'm still mad at it.

Speaking of wanting to throw up...

I'll tell you what's not likable.

Your shoes, your shirt and your shoes.

- Up top.
- Huh?

- [SNAPS]
- Oh.

Ugh! Your hand feels weird.

Anyway, this is your expert?
Ashley? Is that her name?

It was Debra, but nobody likes a Debra.

My mother's name was Debra.

- And?
- Mmm.

Just let her work. You'll see.

Okay, three things to make
you more likable right now.

Smile. Yep, just checking.

Don't ever smile again. You
have what we call "bad smile".

- [BITSY GROANS]
- Okay, now.

Imagine you're
trying to get little flies

out of your eyes just
using your eyelids.

- Good. Do that all the time.
- That's amazing. That totally works.

Put your hand on your face as if

you're sleepy and it's a little pillow.

- Good, leave that there.
- For how long?

Till we get those poll numbers up.

You can do stuff with
your other hand. See?

You know, it does do something.
That's impressive.

- You're kidding.
- Wow.

- Yep.
- Mm-hmm. And we're just getting started.

♪ Convincing this city
to like this old biddy ♪

♪ Is the hard job I'm here to do ♪

♪ Now, as we've established
you smile like a catfish ♪

♪ And your resting face looks like ♪

- You're taking a poo.
- Hmm.

♪ A strangler outpolled you
in case no one told you ♪

♪ That's what's called losing the race ♪

♪ So before the hard hitting
the first step's admitting ♪

♪ New York doesn't like your face ♪

♪ First up, Bitsy Brandenham
Twitter, TikTok, Instagram ♪

- ♪ This Big Apple thinks you're the pits ♪
- I don't need to.

♪ Bitsy, listen to this
they think you're shysty ♪

♪ I'm flirty and feisty ♪

- That's just the Long Island iced tea.
- With Bloody Mary mix.

♪ It's not okay ♪

♪ What the bloody
mayor is trying to say ♪

♪ Is New York doesn't like your face ♪

♪ They spit you out because
they've got New Yorkers' taste ♪

♪ They look at you and smell a rat ♪

♪ And they've had enough of those ♪

♪ No one can stand you
we've got to rebrand you ♪

♪ New haircut, heritage
pronouns, clothes ♪

♪ Aesthetically, it's looking bleak ♪

♪ Haute couture should make you pop ♪

♪ Sit front row at Fashion Week ♪

♪ Then tweak the
pictures with Photoshop ♪

♪ All we need is one good public stunt ♪

♪ With just the perfect words ♪

♪ That will lead New Yorkers ♪

♪ To accept the little polished turd ♪

♪ New York doesn't like your face ♪

♪ We've got to give them
something better to embrace ♪

♪ Devise a plan to make them stand you ♪

♪ That's what it's all about ♪

♪ Bitsy, it's the only way
to cultivate the clout ♪

♪ Haven't you ever wondered, dear ♪

♪ Why your staff all
carry cans of Mace? ♪

♪ New York doesn't like your face ♪

All right. If that thing
is out there, we'll find it.

- How did you get this tangled?
- It all happened so fast.

Mine was like this, I think.

- It was?
- I don't know! Don't yell at me!

- I'm not.
- Well, somebody's yelling!

- You are.
- It's you.

I'm sorry. I'm scared
of giant fish with teeth.

I'm not. I'm totally
comfortable with them.

And send. There. Story sent.
Editor happy, I assume.

Owen, we need a coffee run.
Actually, we need a food run.

These kids have cranky no-lunch face.

There won't be any spicy cheese
bread left at the farmers market,

but what if I go and see if
there's just regular cheese bread?

Or just cheese. Or just bread?

Yes, dying.

Mother, Father, give us bread.

Okay. I gotta get the boat in
the water. Uh, meet back here?

Ooh! Picnic in the boat. Very
cute of us. Very postable.

- Hate it. Cramped.
- Yeah. My drawing's wet.

We're just not a boat family.

Please, people, we're
trying to catch a monster.

It's not really about the picnic.

They didn't have a big
picnic scene in Jaws.

Well, maybe if they did, that movie
would've been more successful.

Why are there so many
people here all of a sudden?

Maybe we actually do look really cute.

Uh-oh.

- Marvin.
- Paige.

You posted my story?

Yes. I put it on the site,

and I'm rushing it
to print for tomorrow.

Paige, it's only been up a half an hour,

but it's already got more clicks

than Doug's underwear
story from last year.

Hmm. Good. I hate that underwear story.

Hey. That was a great story.

I think he did it to get free
underwear, but great story.

I'm worried. These people fishing...

If they're trying to
catch the snakehead,

then they're probably
using barbed hooks.

But that makes it harder
to release the good fish

without accidentally k*lling them.

Which is just as bad for the fish
as getting eaten by a snakehead.

[MARVIN] Ooh! That's a good story too.

- You heard that?
- Some of it. Oh, my God.

"New York hunts for the
monster, but at what cost?"

That's the headline. You write the rest.

- I'll post it as soon as you send it.
- [PAIGE] Oh, Marvin.

Sir, sir. You know this is a
catch-and-release pond, right?

Barbless hooks, please.

"Barbless hooks". Does that
sound like a lady's name?

Sounds like a scary stripper.

[CHILDREN] Aw.

Dad, would a snakehead
eat a little duckling?

- Definitely.
- Oh, okay. Um...

Well, this is not a problem,

because maybe there's no
snakehead at all, right?

I mean, maybe that jogger guy is cuckoo.

Right. Maybe he does this all the
time. Can't bring him anywhere.

Snakehead here, snakehead
there, snakehead there.

- Ah!
- No!

Oh, thank God.

That duckling's gonna need therapy.

Experiment with dr*gs
and alcohol in its teens,

and then somehow find its way

and later be an
inspiration to everybody.

Owen, is there anything
else that could have

sucked a duckling down like that?

- I don't think so.
- Crap.

So, we all agree?

We're taking the ducklings,

and we're putting them in
private school in Vermont.

The gray fingers of dawn
scratch the cheek of day.

Nope. The gray dawn dawns... Nope.

It's poignantly dawn. There it is.

Anyway, Owen and the crew were up late

trying to catch the snakehead.

Still no sign of it.

None of the civilian
fisherpeople caught it either.

Lot of tangled lines.

Lot of people realizing
fishing is not for them.

Lot of lost worms entering
a new chapter of their lives.

Hey, uh, would you mind
getting out of our sh*t?

- Oh. Uh, sorry. Better?
- No.

[WHISPERS] Also, Paige's story
got picked up by other papers.

That's why all these reporters are here.

Just sh**t around him, I guess.

[BITSY] Interesting.

Helen! Helen! Where were you?

Starting a pee I didn't finish.

Ew. Don't pee. Gross.

Listen. Get that likability lady
that I don't like on the phone.

I wanna run something by her.

Coffee and bagels!

And the heroes arrive with food.

You guys are doing good stuff too.

Elwood, duck update?
Everybody accounted for?

All present and adorable.

And so fragile. This one
has a cold, I think.

But maybe that's how all ducks sound?

Uh-oh, uh-oh. They all look like

they're trying to go
for their morning swim.

They won't stop trying to swim!

I keep telling them it's too dangerous,

but they look at me like, "Who's
Mr. Bossy Pants over here?"

Well, we had an idea. Don't
know if it's gonna work,

but what if someone really
clever brought these? Cole?

We were thinking they
could be used as decoys.

Like they do for the pope.

- They have rubber popes?
- Three of them.

Cole, shall we?

Marvin was right/I am a great writer/
I always believed in this story.

- This broke big.
- Yep, sure did.

Sorry I'm so good at my job. [SIGHS]

Uh-huh. It's a media circus,
which is not a problem at all.

So much easier to catch a fish
with loud noise and flashing cameras

and so many more people fishing.

What's going on over there?

What's going on, is d*ck
Flake. Who's d*ck Flake?

d*ck Flake is a so-called
"big game fish hunter"

who was hired by Bitsy Brandenham
to catch the snakehead.

Do I like saying "d*ck
Flake"? d*ck Flake I do.

d*ck Flake. Hunter, fisherman,
life coach, blue belt.

I've been hired by Ms. Brandenham
to catch the, uh, snakehead.

I have a lot of experience
catching snakeheads,

and, uh, "she has a lot of
experience caring about this park".

This is just me talking here.

♪ These guys, they're not
doing it right mm-mmm ♪

♪ That's not how you get the bite ♪

♪ I got topwater frogs ♪

♪ Bottomwater frogs plugs,
buzzbaits, chatterbaits ♪

♪ Jitterbugs, dinglebiddies ♪

♪ So, ain't got time for
no tackle box tickle talks ♪

♪ Not when there's vicious
fishes in the fish game ♪

♪ So, listen up, 'cause
here's the catch ♪

♪ Gotta have the right tools
when you meet your match ♪

♪ Oh, you can catch a big game ♪

♪ If you got a lot of tackle
and you got a cool name ♪

♪ d*ck Flake ♪

♪ Oh, if the catching's why you came ♪

♪ Then you better be prepared
to b*at 'em at their own game ♪

- ♪ d*ck Flake ♪
- ♪ I got topwater frogs ♪

♪ Bottomwater frogs plugs,
buzzbaits, chatterbaits ♪

♪ Jitterbugs, dinglebiddies ♪

♪ Got weasel paws studded
with a thistle and a twig ♪

♪ I got black fly wings
small, medium and big ♪

♪ d*ck Flake ♪

- ♪ Oh, I'm a d*ck with perfect aim ♪
- ♪ Oh, he's a d*ck with perfect aim ♪

- ♪ And I always come prepared ♪
- ♪ And he always comes prepared ♪

- ♪ To b*at 'em at their own game ♪
- ♪ d*ck Flake ♪

♪ Better be prepared to
b*at 'em at their own game ♪

- It's the likability lady.
- Hmm.

- Yes?
- Huge.

- Huge?
- Huge. Huge success.

He hasn't caught it yet.

- You're already popping.
- I'm popping?

New Yorkers love this story.
It's trending all over the place.

Okay. Good.

People are talking you
up on social media.

- And by "people" I mean me.
- How does that...

I have , accounts. Don't ask.

We'll need your guy to
catch the fish soon though,

while people are focused on the story.

I'm sure he will.

It's not like he's hunting
a mastermind. It's a fish.

No, seriously. We need him to
catch it within a few hours.

The media window is closing.

I can feel it closing on my fingers
as I type. We need that fish.

All right. [GRUNTS] Too much.
Too much from you, Ashley.

Go put your hand on your face, and
then put your face up your butt.

Get me the fisherman.

It'd be cool if that was a code
name instead of just what he is.

- What?
- Nothing.

- d*ck's on.
- [BITSY] Where's my fish?

- Uh, I just got my boat in the water.
- What?

[CLEARS THROAT] They don't
normally allow boats up here.

Also, the reporters were
super into me so I...

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Oh, good. You stopped.
So, when will you have it?

- The snakehead?
- Yes!

- I don't know.
- Ah!

- Soon? Very soon?
- Ah! That's right.

And you're gonna call me
the second you pull it in.

You got that?

I want to be there to give you your
check when the reporters arrive.

- You hear me?
- Yes.

The check you won't get if
you don't catch the fish.

And try to catch it before
: . Traffic gets yucky.

- Wh... Uh...
- [SHAMPAGNE WHINING]

What's he whining about?

His life. All of his decisions
that have led up to this...

All right, all right. Save
it for your comedy special.

Get him to stop.

I've gotta go pick out the right
shoes to wear to this fish catching.

- [SHAMPAGNE WHINING]
- Yep. No, I know.

No. Stop. Stay on the
shore. Bad duckling!

[GROANS] I just wanted to draw.

Remember when our life was
our own, before we had kids?

- Hey, Molly.
- Hey. Brendan.

- Cole. What's up?
- Can't talk. Ducklings.

Trying to keep them
from going in the water?

- Yep.
- Snakehead.

It's already tried to eat one of them.

Did you come up here to fly your kite?

No, I came here to help
catch the snakehead.

Are they drawn to wind hobbies?

No, I attached a
fishing hook to the kite.

Kite fishing. It's a
thing. I saw it online.

You can get further out over the
water and the fish don't expect...

To be caught by a kite?

Yeah. Now I'm feeling like
there might be more to it.

I just wanted to help. New
adventures of Fista Puffs?

Oh, not yet. It's been a lot of this.

Well, if I take off the hook,
maybe my kite could be useful here.

Do you think I can
get away with writing,

"d*ck Flake, a man who
looks like a toilet brush

if a toilet brush were a person"?

I don't know. If he catches the thing,

then he's a hero as
far as I'm concerned.

He's not gonna catch it.
He's a blowhard. Trust me.

I caught it! I caught it!

Okay. Maybe I'm not a
great judge of fisherpeople.

[CACKLES] I did it!

She got here fast. They got here fast.

Hey, you got it. Let's
see. God, it's huge.

All right, give us a good one.

This is for What's New, New
York? How'd you do it, d*ck?

This is Ms. Brandenham's
show. I just work here.

I mean, I work here.

Hmm.

Sometimes, generous,
heroic, private individuals

can make things happen more efficiently

than a creaky old bureaucracy can.

Hold it higher. Not too high,
I'll be out of the sh*t.

There you go. Look at that.

Anyway, here's your check,
from me, Bitsy Brandenham.

- Helping New York in any way I can.
- Thank you, Ms. Brandenham.

Questions? Any of you on social media?

Shampagne looks nervous.
Doesn't Shampagne look nervous?

Or maybe sad. Now I'm seeing
both. Are you seeing both?

I can't read his expression,

because he's a little
dog. He looks furry.

- What is it, boy? Tell me with your mind.
- [PANTING]

Okay, that's not working. It's
possible we don't have that power.

[PAIGE] Bitsy! Any truth to the rumor

that you're trying to buy Central Park?

I don't think anyone heard
you, dear. Anyone else?

[PAIGE] I said...

People can also ask me anything if
they want, about fishing or life.

Oh, did someone ask if I think park
management is severely lacking?

The answer's yes. Good
question, whoever that was.

- [PAIGE GROANS]
- Let me just say this.

This park desperately needs
someone to take care of it.

Someone who appreciates its worth.

They might even be here right now, hey?

Who's got two thumbs up and
appreciates the park? Mmm?

Okay, I gotta split.

Oh, I just wanna [GROANS] at
least trip her. Can I trip her?

- Oh, God. Is Cole gonna trip her?
- He's going to see the dog.

- Bitsy.
- Whoa, you're a tiny reporter, aren't you?

No, I'm the boy who... Never mind.
I just... I'm worried about him.

She's a woman. She just looks like
a man sometimes. It's the light.

- No, I mean... Hi.
- Sup?

I mean him.

Oh. Yes. He's been a mopey
little mop all afternoon.

He seems better now
though. Whatever. Bye.

Wait. Just, when he's anxious,

you can do a little
drumbeat on his butt.

- [IMITATES DRUMBEAT]
- What? What? Shampagne, chill out.

- Do a drumbeat. Hi.
- [BARKS, PANTS]

- What's happening?
- [BARKING]

Exactly. Ha! I knew it.
I knew we had that power.

Okay, bye. Stay strong.

[GRUNTS] Newspeople are so weird.

He's the boy who found the dog...

- I remember who he is now.
- [SHAMPAGNE WHINING]

Maybe it's worth trying
the drumming thing?

[GROANS] All right.

[GRUNTING]

Oh. My goodness.

- [SHAMPAGNE PANTING]
- [CHUCKLES]

Hey. Holy smokes.
[CHUCKLES] You little freak.

All right, from now on, whatever
some rando tells me to do to you,

I'm doing it.

- He hasn't moved for a while.
- [PAIGE] That's not true.

He adjusted his shorts,
like, five minutes ago.

Yeah, they were way up there.

It happens when he's upset.
I don't know why exactly.

They just ride up like
they're trying to help him.

There's something weird about that fish.

Weird eyebrows? No, fish don't
have eyebrows. Weird attitude?

Maybe it's that it looks like Satan?

[PAIGE] No, look at the eyes.
Kinda cloudy and sunken, right?

Oh. Hope no one ever says that about me.

I think that fish is dead.

I mean, that's what happens
when you k*ll them.

No, I mean dead from before.

I don't think that fish
is from the Meer.

But I thought d*ck Flake caught
the fish and saved the day.

Of course he didn't.

Have you met d*ck Flake?
Allow me to explain.

♪ Whoa, d*ck Flake is a lying
piece of cake, d*ck Flake ♪

♪ No one's as fake
as Mr. Richard Flake ♪

♪ He bought that fish like
he bought a pound of steak ♪

It's like if a doctor
couldn't find your appendix,

so they bought somebody else's
from an... an appendix store,

and waved it around and told...

Well, you get the idea.
That's not a good doctor, d*ck!

Owen, look at d*ck's fish.
Doesn't it look kinda dead?

It looks very dead. That's
what happens when you...

No, no, no. Look at the eyes.

I think that fish has been dead a while.

Mom's really into talking about
dead fish now. Just go with it.

I think d*ck Flake went
and got a dead snakehead

- so he could get his check from Bitsy.
- Really?

Remember when we didn't know
where he was for an hour,

and we thought he was pooping?

Owen, that thing is still out there.

We gotta go back. We gotta go back out.

- [OWEN] Oh, gosh.
- You can do this.

I don't know. I'm tired. And
you guys probably do other stuff.

- What's that?
- This?

- Is that?
- It's kind of a new character. Park Guy.

It's just something I
was playing around with.

Are his shorts pulled up really high?

I mean, the normal amount.

But also, he gets his powers from them.

And is the snakehead saying,

"I'm this way because I
never learned to read"?

It makes sense for his character.

All right. [SIGHS] I'm going
back out. I'm gonna get that fish.

We're going with you... until bedtime.

♪ There's a fish who's a
beast from head to tail ♪

♪ It's become the park's white whale ♪

- ♪ So just call me Ishmael ♪
- ♪ Be bold-faced and daring ♪

- [OWEN] ♪ Let us go to tame the wild sea ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Time will tell what's meant to be ♪

♪ And we'll fight till we are free ♪

♪ Catch it like a dad
with his shirt tucked in ♪

- ♪ Be brave ♪
- ♪ Be brave ♪

- ♪ When the moment comes to pass ♪
- ♪ To pass ♪

- ♪ This ain't no Billy Bass ♪
- ♪ Billy Bass ♪

♪ See, there's movement in the grass ♪

♪ In the grass In the
grassy, grassy grass ♪

♪ Let me do this one thing
or at least die trying ♪

[FAMILY] ♪ Trying ♪

♪ I'm gonna do this one thing
or at least die trying ♪

♪ Don't die ♪

♪ But if I do I hope
you'll tell my story ♪

♪ And that's my dying wish ♪

♪ We'll always remember how you d*ed ♪

♪ When you tried to catch a scary fish ♪

- I... I got it!
- You did it!

- You really did it!
- And you didn't die. I like that.

♪ I was gonna die was
gonna die, die trying ♪

♪ Didn't die trying didn't die trying ♪

♪ My team and I
we would've d*ed, d*ed trying ♪

- [MOLLY] ♪ I see you as a superhero ♪
- ♪ Didn't die trying, didn't die trying ♪

[OWEN] ♪ This means
we can save the park ♪

♪ And we'll do it every day
or we'll die trying ♪

Now, that's a story.

♪ We didn't die we
didn't die, die trying ♪

- [MOLLY] ♪ Flake's fake ♪
- [FAMILY] ♪ Fish fraud ♪

[MOLLY] ♪ Bitsy bamboozles ♪

[OWEN] ♪ Mayor commends
the park employees ♪

♪ And we didn't die trying
didn't die trying ♪

- I'm gonna buy that stupid park.
- Yes, you've mentioned that.

Maybe I'll buy that
stupid newspaper too.

Mmm. That seems nonprofitable.

But it would be so
pleasing to fire everyone.

Does someone need her feel-better juice?

I don't want to feel
better! I want to...

Wait. Yes. Feel-better
juice would be nice.

- [BLOWS RASPBERRY] That helps too.
- Mmm. Mm-hmm.

♪ I'll buy the park or die, die trying ♪

♪ Please die trying please die trying ♪

♪ Yes, I'll get that stupid park
or die trying ♪

♪ Please, pretty please
pretty please die trying ♪

♪ Oh, we'll protect the park
or we'll die trying, trying ♪

♪ In Central Park ♪

- What if I own it?
- ♪ It's the place where we began ♪

♪ You know your mama's got this ♪

- ♪ Mama's got this ♪
- ♪ Central Park ♪

- ♪ And it's where I met Dianne ♪
- ♪ Dianne ♪

♪ Grandiose and glorious
unlike any place on earth ♪

- [BIRDIE] ♪ Thanks to this family ♪
- [CHOIR] ♪ I'll die if I don't try ♪

- ♪ The park is secure now ♪
- ♪ I'll die if I don't try ♪

- ♪ But thinking it's over ♪
- ♪ I'll die if I don't try ♪

- ♪ Is quite premature now ♪
- ♪ If I don't try, don't try ♪

- [CHOIR] ♪ Oh, in Central ♪
- [BIRDIE] ♪ In Central ♪

- ♪ Central Park ♪
- [CHOIR] ♪ Central Park ♪