Beautiful day for skating.
Not too hot, not too cold.
Don't forget to head to the concession
stand for those hot dogs and hot cocoa.
And remember,
it's the last weekend of skating season,
so grab that special someone
'cause it's time for Couples Skate.
I can't believe he did that.
Where did he go? Did he seriously leave?
Whoa, pretty intense, right?
Something big happened.
Let's see how we got to this point.
It all started three hours earlier...
Oh! I got it covered, thanks.
I'm the narrator, it's kind of my job,
so if you don't mind skedaddling out
of here.
Anyway, it's three hours earlier.
Look how happy they are.
The judges officially give your
Triple Pinky Toe Loop-There-It-Is Jump
a score of ten!
That's how it's done.
The judges officially give your
Backwards Bumblebee Spin-the-Bottle
Sudden Death spin a score of ten!
- Boom!
- Pow!
Ooh, it's chilly.
Uh, mind if I borrow your pocket?
Wait! Uh… …stop! Uh, sorry. Uh…
Oh, I was, uh, just trying to warm up
the icicles formerly known as my fingers.
Uh, yeah, yeah. No, uh, I know, but, uh,
maybe you could, uh,
just use your own pockets maybe?
Uh, yeah. Sure. I guess
I just got flirty fingers.
Hey, so how's
your art homework thing going?
- Oh, so perfect.
- That bad, huh?
Yeah. You know what?
We don't have to talk about it,
but what I do wanna talk about
is Couples Skate.
Today's the day, right?
Thoughts? Yea? Nay?
Ooh! I mean, that would be
our first official PDSA.
Public display of ska...
Okay, buddy. You gotta get outta here.
That's gonna be a "yea" from me.
- Okay, me too. We're doing it!
- Yeah!
But actually, first I got to
exchange these rentals for bigger ones.
- These are, like, doll size.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
Oh, do yours not fit either?
Well, no. My feet actually feel great.
I was just trying to relate to you.
Whoa, it's hard to stand on ice.
Well, uh, you don't have to watch
Molly and Brendan wait in line.
I'll let you know
if anything happens over here.
Oh! Whoa! I'm good!
Now go to the Brandenham.
- Busy day today.
- "2:00 p.m., breakfast."
- Here you go.
- Check.
- "2:15, lunch."
- Lunch.
Look at me, running early.
"3:30, meet and greet with
the interim mayor." Everything ready?
Here's the deal,
Bitsy needs to impress the interim mayor
'cause she's got big plans that revolve
around this chump.
Her words, not mine.
So, she and Helen have arranged
a little show to win him over.
Oh, my God!
We're all set. I found the two employees
with the best acting chops.
All they have to do is make me look
like the nicest boss in the world.
- Shouldn't be that hard.
- Yep, you're a peach.
And then what's next?
Oh, good. Something to look forward to.
"4:00 p.m., fire Sonya at the front desk."
Why are you f*ring her again?
- She gave some guests a free upgrade.
- Oh, the horror.
When I'm writing
a new Squirrel Quarrels book,
I find inspiration everywhere.
- Acorns, walnuts…
- Oh! Mm-hmm.
- That's Abby.
- Again?
How much laundry could she possibly have?
- Hey, Abs.
- Guys, it's all happening, guys!
- What's happening?
- I booked my first audition.
It's this afternoon for a commercial
for Papa Milo's Deli in New Jersey.
Aunt Abby! Today is the first day
of the rest of your life.
Wait, I know Papa Milo's.
They've got those billboards that say,
"What are we? Chopped liver?"
- What part are you auditioning for?
- Customer Number Two!
We could help.
I'm talking hair, makeup, vocal warm-ups.
Ooh, okay.
Yes, I'll take any help I can get.
- Also, can I wash this while I'm here?
- Yes, but I'm not helping with that.
Psst, guys. Molly and Brendan
are done waiting in line.
Molly's got on bigger skates now.
It's go time.
You wanna get a snack?
Always. Do my new skates smell weird?
I'm getting
an eau de giant sweaty man.
Hey, women can have foot odor too.
Yeah, my mom's feet are nasty.
What's up, Molly? What's up, Brendan?
- Hey, Molls.
- Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, Hazel. Hey, Shauna. Hi, other people.
We just ran into Henry and Jacob.
- Actually, we skated into them. It hurt.
- Oh, check it out.
Looks like somebody took a break from
freaking out about art homework.
Yeah. I needed some time off
from battling the blend.
I'm smudging all over the place.
You did a bad job!
Have you ever tried using a tortillon?
I have an extra one at home
if you want it.
Wait, really? Ugh, that'd be great!
Thank you!
Oh, I didn't know
you could use tortillas for art.
Not a tortilla, a tortillon.
- Ah.
- It's an art tool for blending.
But you know, a tortilla might actually be
a good blending tool too.
- Flour, not corn.
- Yeah. Why not corn, though?
- Can I get anything for you guys?
- Oh, hang on.
Hot cocoa with marshmallows
for me and milady, please.
Thank you, good sir.
Remember to wait
to let it cool this time, Molly,
or else you'll be all, like, "Ah!" again.
No way! I did not make that face.
What face? I-I missed it. Do it again?
Yeah, that's... that's great.
- I didn't do it yet.
- Oh, yeah, no. I knew that.
Are you doing it now?
- Still no.
- Right, right. Right. Right.
Mayor Leeds, so nice to finally sit down
to get to know each other.
Thanks for having me.
Quite a view you've got here.
Oh, my gosh! You like views too?
We're view twins.
Ms. Brandenham, this is simply too
generous of you. I cannot accept.
Olive, Ms. Brandenham
is in the middle of a very important...
Nonsense. I always have time
for poor people.
This fruit will feed my family
for a month. Thank you.
That's so sweet, but she should eat
more than fruit maybe?
Ms. Brandenham, your tea.
Also, I wanted to say thank you
for paying my wife's hospital bill.
Yes, how did the birth go?
We had triplets. We're naming them
after you. Bitsy, Branden and Ham.
Oh, wonderful! I love kids
and I don't think they're disgusting.
Where were we?
Maybe I should let you be.
Seems like you're pretty busy.
No, no. I'm not busy at all.
Ms. Brandenham, here are the towels
you wanted to donate to...
- Get out!
- Sorry, Ms. Brandenham.
Wow, that's a… lot of towels.
I know, right? What is this,
a public swimming pool?
No, I meant it's incredible
that you do this much laundry.
Are you on a gray water system?
I think we still use blue water.
Sorry, I'm a bit of a laundry nerd.
My family ran a fluff and fold
in Queens growing up.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, so interesting.
Hey, is there any way you could
take me down to your laundry room?
I'd love to see it.
- Are you… serious?
- I think he's serious.
I'd be delighted to.
I know all about laun-dy.
- Did you just say "laun-dy"?
- I heard "laun-dy."
Okay, so here's my part.
"Customer Number Two takes a bite
of a juicy pastrami sandwich
while smiling"?
You have to take a bite and smile
at the same time?
Abby's gonna nail this.
She always looks happy when she's eating
all our food, which is totally fine.
Yeesh, I don't know. A bite and smile?
That sounds like a major acting challenge,
like, you know, stage combat
or being 31 and playing a teenager.
Well, let's see it. The bite and smile,
not playing a teenager.
Okay, ready? Hmm?
- Hmm.
- Okay.
Is that a good "okay"?
- Let's just maybe try it again.
- But do it better?
Ooh, that one felt weird.
That one felt weird.
You know what? Maybe it's 'cause
you don't have any real food.
- How 'bout I order some sandwiches?
- Sandwiches and acting? I love today.
Brendan Brandenham is about to do
a trick never before attempted.
The rare Triple Bavarian Enchilada.
He sticks the landing!
That's clearly a ten!
But wait, here comes Molly Tillerman.
Is she about to do
what I think she's about to do?
The Long-Legged
Short Hop Flippy Lippy No Trippy.
She's pulled it off!
The judges tabulate
their scores, and she gets a…
- Eight.
- Thank you, thank you...
Wait, did you just say eight?
Yeah. You got an eight.
That's a good score.
Is it? I mean,
we always give each other tens.
Yeah, but there was a slight wobble
on the end, so… eight.
Stop saying eight. I know I wobbled.
We always wobble.
I thought we were just having fun.
Fine, then let's have fun.
- Great. Here's another jump.
- Great.
It's a Single-Dingle Hot Dog Hopscotch.
- That's a seven.
- Are you serious?
- What?
- A seven? Why are you being weird?
I'm not being weird.
I'm having fun. I'm just being honest.
Your jump lacked
artistic merit. That's all.
"Artistic merit?" Wow.
Okay, well, while we're being honest,
I thought it was a little rude
that you ordered a hot chocolate
without asking what I wanted.
- What did you want?
- I wanted hot chocolate,
but I didn't want marshmallows.
- Why not?
- Because they're gross.
All right,
now you're just being mean.
To who? Marshmallows?
You said I lacked artistic merit.
- Are you shouting at me?
- No, I'm just raising my voice a lot.
I need a break.
I'm gonna go get some more cocoa.
- You just had one!
- Well, I'm gonna have another one.
With marshmallows.
I present the towel and sheet washing
section of the hotel.
This is even better
than I pictured. Am I dreaming?
I'm pretty lucky. I practically
live down here. This is my family.
- Hello, Ms. Brandenham.
- Hello, man… guy.
- Good day, Ms. Brandenham.
- And hello to you.
- Deb.
- Right, Bread. That's a stupid name.
It's like a symphony
of hoses and liquids and bubbles.
Obviously I don't have to tell you.
You're a laundry-head.
Yes, yes. But please carry on.
I mean, I understand
how it works obviously,
but a lot of these people
are probably confused.
Whoo! Oh, it's the...
Wait a minute, what is that?
Oh, I love it down here!
That is a strange man.
Ugh, I wish I could spend all day here.
You're welcome to stay
as long as you want.
In fact, there are some business matters
I'd love to discuss with you over...
- Laundry?
- I was gonna say drinks, but...
We can roll up our sleeves
and do a load together.
- No.
- Say yes.
I mean yea... No.
Say yes.
Yea... No.
She means yes. That sounds great.
Now let's get you two some dirty sheets.
So, meanwhile, back at the...
Whoa, what are you doing back here?
Get out of here! Scram!
Ah, that's better. Oh, no.
Yo, Molls, I thought you was on a date?
Brendan and I got in a fight.
Our first fight.
Ooh, drama! I mean, sorry.
- What happened?
- That's the thing, I don't know.
One second we were having fun.
The next, we were shouting at each other.
- Uh-oh.
- Maybe we can help you figure it out.
Like, your love detectives.
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
Or I'm gonna punch Brendan in the neck
'cause you my girl.
Thanks, guys.
Abby, your scene partner's here,
and he's a real ham.
Just kidding, it's pastrami.
Okay, people, we need absolute quiet.
We are making art here!
Ooh, did they give us any
of those little pickles?
- Ooh, they did.
- Come on, Abs.
Give us your best bite and smile.
- Here I go.
- Huh.
Is she smiling?
I thought she was supposed to be smiling.
I am. This is me smiling.
Maybe try another bite.
Aunt Abby,
I mean this in the nicest possible way.
You look like you sat bare-cheeked
on a grumpy porcupine.
Harsh. But, actually, I can't think
of a better way to describe it.
That's okay. I want to hear it.
I'm glad you said that,
'cause you were also holding
your neck out like a weird goose.
- It's true.
- You know what, just dial back the goose.
Right, right, no more goose.
Okay, let's do some role-playing
to get to the bottom of this.
- I'll be Brendan. Shauna, you be Molly.
- Why can't I be Molly?
Fine, you're Molly.
Sup, boo-boo bear?
Do you want to come to my family's
- private island for Thanksgiving?
- Wait, what?
I need a yes or no, boo.
My mom set the table early.
- It's hard to get plates on an island.
- Hazel.
Sorry, I ain't never had a rich boyfriend.
Or any boyfriend.
- Let me try. Hey, Molls.
- Okay. Uh, hey, Brendan.
Sorry I was being such a dummy dumb face.
It's okay. Why were you acting like that?
Hmm. Mostly because I've had
bad male role models, but also puberty.
Okay, no more role-playing.
All right, let's retrace
your steps so far.
Did anything weird happen?
Anything that might have upset him?
Honestly, it was all going so well.
I mean, I wanted to switch out my skates,
so we had to wait
in the rental line twice.
- Maybe that was a little annoying?
- That ain't it.
But, also, he was weird when I tried
to keep my hands warm in his pockets.
Maybe that came across too clingy?
How dare you show him affection.
Or maybe he was mad
when we bumped into you guys,
'cause it was supposed to be
just the two of us today.
- Nah, that's definitely not it.
- Yeah, we're amazing.
I'm so confused.
I can't figure out what his problem is,
and Couples Skate is coming up.
Sorry we're bad love detectives,
but I know what you gotta do.
Break up with Brendan?
We got your back, girl.
You can do so much better.
No, she needs to skate it out.
We're at a skating rink. Let's go.
That's what I was thinking too.
Brendan's the best.
Okay, don't think. Just bite and smile.
We're not going anywhere
until we get this right.
- Mmm?
- That bite felt small.
- Mmm?
- Too big.
- Mmm?
- Too sad.
- Too worried.
- Too constipated.
- Unless that's what you're going for.
- Mmm?
- Be the pastrami.
- I think you just bit your finger.
Ah, I did. Ow.
- Are you crying?
- A little.
Daniel Day-Lewis couldn't do this.
- Hard disagree.
- He can do anything.
- Careful.
- You're right. I was out of line.
- This is the best day ever!
- Yes, yes, so much fun.
Bitsy, Sonya's here for her 4:00 p.m.
- Tell her I need to resche...
- Hello, Bitsy.
I was told you wanted to speak with me.
- Where's the mayor?
- He's on the other side of the room.
- He can't hear you.
- Good.
- You're fired.
- Wait, really? Why?
A little bird told me you gave
a free upgrade to a couple last weekend.
Is that true? Keep in mind, I know it is.
Bitsy, look what I did.
Feel how dry these towels are.
Smell them.
No, no, really get your face in there.
Yes, yes. So towel-y.
If you'd just give me one minute,
Mayor Leeds,
I'm having a quick word
with one of my employees.
Ms. Brandenham, I only gave
the free upgrade
because that lovely old veteran
and his wife
were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
That's wonderful.
Gotta show respect to your elders.
Also, tollbooth workers.
High rates of depression.
I try to tip 'em when I can.
If I don't have cash, I toss 'em a cookie.
I completely agree.
That's why I was just offering
Sonya here a... a promotion
for her… …goodwill.
- I thought you said I was fired.
- No, no. You heard me wrong.
I said, "Give me five,
uh, you got a promotion." Go away now.
Ooh, wait. Is that a marinara stain?
I gotta see this.
Helen!
Yep, you don't have to tell me.
I'll go fire her.
You still thinking about Brendan?
Or is that
your new "I'm happy
to be with my friends" face?
Oh, sorry. Yeah.
You know, there's other fish in the sea.
Salmon, tuna, trout, orange roughy.
Ooh, what about Jacob? He's cute.
Yeah, his girlfriend moved to Yonkers,
so they're done-kers. They broke up.
Wait, that's it. Jacob.
Brendan must be jealous of him
because he made me laugh earlier.
He saw us having a good time
at the concession stand,
and that set him off.
Ooh, potential infidelity. I mean, sorry.
No, no, I don't like Jacob. I'm gonna go
tell Brendan I know what's going on.
Yeah, he's a jellyfish,
'cause he's jealous. Go get him.
Can't handle me having fun
with another guy, could you?
- What?
- Well, I can talk and laugh
with whoever I want,
'cause I'm a big girl.
That sounded really young,
but I'm making a mature point.
- What are you talking about?
- You know what I'm talking about.
You're jealous of Jacob. So now you're
over here pouting in your marshmallows,
even though I know you're sick of them.
I'm not sick of them. See.
Mmm, mmm. Ow, my tummy.
Okay, you're gonna throw up.
Wait, is that a present for me?
Did you get me this? Brendan, I...
It's the last weekend
of skating season,
so grab that special someone
'cause it's time for Couples Skate.
I can't believe he did that.
Where did he go? Did he seriously leave?
Thank you so much for everything.
And for this fitted sheet.
This place is magical.
I mean, look at that chandelier.
Yes, yes. I picked it out myself actually.
It's 150 years old.
You're 150 years old. Shush.
Anyway, I do hope we can find a way
to continue this friendship.
Remember how I told you
how Bitsy has big plans
that revolve around this chump?
Again, not my words.
Well, here she goes.
- I like you, Leeds.
- I like you.
But I would like to see you as more
than just the interim mayor.
Well, I am already happily married.
Oh, dear Lord. You wish.
I'm talking politics.
I'd like to see you as mayor-mayor.
Not just this temporary interim nonsense.
- And I'd like to be your benefactor.
- Oh.
Well, benefactor with benefits, of course.
- Ew.
- I give you a pile of money,
and you help me get a little more involved
with some of my interests.
- And what would those be?
- Central Park, of course.
I just love it so much.
Its bugs, and grass, and sprinklers.
Mmm, so lovely.
It's funny you should mention it.
I'm working with the park manager,
Owen Tillerman,
to start up a new campaign.
Get this, it's called, "I Heart the Park."
Like "I Heart New York," but the Park.
It's... It's great.
Oh. I get it.
He could use someone with your passion
and pocketbook to help with the campaign.
Yes, yes. I heart that idea so much.
I'd love to have some influence
over that manager.
I mean, c... the campaign.
Perfect, my office will set something up.
And thanks again for this.
Mmm.
Toodle-oo.
Helen, invoice the city for that bedsheet.
Where are you, you thoughtful,
frustrating, romantic jerk?
Ooh. Hello, microphone.
Hey. Hi. Can I maybe use
the microphone for just a quick second?
We only let people do that
if they can't find their kid.
I can't find mine.
Oh, all right. Good luck.
Brendan Brandenham?
I hope you're still here somewhere,
'cause I need to talk to you.
This is Molly, by the way.
I mean, Mommy. Mommy's here, sweetie.
Brendan. There you are.
You came back.
Is that a trail or a... You just walked
back through the woods? Okay.
Just climb over. I want to talk to you.
Go. Go to your son.
You know, I'm reading here
that most actors
actually bite and spit into a bucket.
They never swallow.
Well, where were you two hours ago,
Internet?
One more. You can do it.
I don't know.
I don't think bodies are made for this.
I have no choice.
My future depends on it.
Mmm?
- Bravo.
- You did it.
That's it. Nailed it.
Ooh, ooh, it's my agent.
Hi, hey, hi.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Totally. No, totally.
Yeah, better.
Okay. Bye.
Well, the audition's off.
Milo decided to cast
Herman the Parrot as Customer Number Two.
Oh, Abby, I'm so sorry.
Papa Milo doesn't know what he's missing.
I'm sorry, Aunt Abby.
I've never even seen a bird eat pastrami.
I'm not sad at all.
My agent says Herman is a huge deal,
so if I'm going out
for the same roles as Herman,
then I think I'm on the right track.
I'm glad you're being
so positive about this.
What's for dinner? Can it be spaghetti?
- Please say spaghetti.
- You can't be serious.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I know why you didn't want me
to put my hand in your pocket,
because you were holding a gift.
Well, you said your markers
always roll off your desk,
so I thought ones
with square sides would be good.
This was really nice.
Molly, I wasn't jealous
of that Jacob guy, you know.
You weren't? Then why
were you acting like such a,
excuse my French, grouchy grouch?
Because I didn't know
what a tortillon was.
Are you serious?
That's why you were upset?
Well, I just know that you've been
struggling with your art all week,
and I wanted to be the one
that made you feel better.
So, I took you ice-skating.
But then the real answer
was this thing called a tortillon,
and I never could have come up with that.
So, I started to worry that maybe
I'm not the person for you.
- Brendan.
- I-I don't know anything about art.
Like, nothing. And you deserve
someone who gets all that stuff.
And then I bought you
those stupid square markers.
- These are actually for toddlers.
- Oh, God.
No, it's fine.
I love them, really.
Brendan, can I tell you the truth?
Ah, sure. I guess. Can't get worse.
I feel the exact same way
about your kites.
Really? Kites are just
beautiful and dazzling.
But I think that's okay.
At the end of the day, not everything
is gonna be a ten out of ten.
The important thing
is that we talk about it.
And even if we fight, maybe that's good.
It's just a sign
that what we have is worth fighting for.
Aw, they made up.
This moment needs the perfect song.
Scuse me. Coming through.
Okay, folks.
It's time for backwards skate.
Hey, your ice-skating DJ boss
is over there.
Uh, she wants to talk to you.
I promise I'm not just trying
to trick you into leaving.
Hey, if you promise.
Check, check. Mic check. One, two.
Wait, I think you were just trying
to trick me into leaving.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Uh, wait. Did you not find
your ice-skating DJ boss?
They were pretty mad.
You should go find them.
Yeah!
And all's well that ends well.
Huh? Aw, I can't stay mad at you.
What is happening?
03x03 - Ice Ice Not Baby
Series revolves around Owen and his family living in Central Park in New York City who must save it from a greedy land developer.