Nice onesie, little baby.
To both of us, I guess.
So, monster trouble?
Yes! It's in arms and armor!
Thanks.
Hey, nice to have "met" you.
Because the museum.
Okay, I'm gonna go
fight a monster.
Is that camera following
me? That's strange.
Well, I guess it's a classic
battle of good versus medieval.
What, nothing? You liked it.
Incredible Fista
Puffs theme song, go!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ah, Fista Puffs.
Fista Puffs.
Fista Puffs.
- Is she super smart?
- Oh, yeah.
- Is she super strong?
- Oh, yeah.
- Will she b*at the monsters?
- Oh, yeah.
- Is she super awkward?
- Oh, y... No.
- Was she hit by a cosmic ray?
- I don't think so.
- Was she sent here from outer space?
- I don't know.
- Who is her nemesis?
- Bad guys, I guess.
- And what's her biggest weakness?
- Cute boys.
- And is she good at kissing?
- None of your business.
But probably so She is
a superhero after all.
- Fista Puffs.
- Protecting the city.
- Fista Puffs.
- And her jokes are so witty.
- Fista Puffs.
- Defending this land.
Fista Puffs.
And her jokes always also land.
Fista Puffs You're
going down in fistory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Fista Puffs.
Fista Puffs.
Fista Puffs.
Fista, Fista, Puff,
Puff, Fista Puffs.
- Fista, Fista, Puff, Puff, Fista Puffs.
- Oh, Fista Puffs.
- Fista, Fista, Puff, Puff.
- Fista Puffs.
- Fista Puffs.
- It's a great day for justice.
Fista Puffs.
And a bad hair day for villains.
- Fista Puffs.
- It's a great day for justice.
Fista Puffs.
And a bad hair day for villains.
You're going down in fistory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Hey there. You ready to do this?
Do you wanna hydrate first or...
Okay, I guess we're
starting. Leaping!
Stepping on your head. Yeah.
A lance? "Joust" a minute.
No more lance.
Have you considered flossing?
Pretty good bathroom visit.
Maybe walk a little faster?
You know what? I'll
give you a hand.
Thank you!
Does not smell great in there,
and you're gonna eat me. Crap.
Let's try this again.
What's her problem? Just
kidding, I know it's the monster.
- Yes! It's in arms and armor...
- Arms and armor.
Yep. I'll go take care of it.
By the way, glad to have
"met" you. Cue laughter.
Still nothing? It's a good joke.
Maybe you don't like
jokes. Maybe it's you.
Look who found a
mace for your face.
I'm gonna get ya.
Nope, didn't get ya.
Crap.
Crap.
Oh, boy.
What about this shield?
Very shieldy.
Whatcha... Whatcha doin'?
Thinkin' about... thinkin' about how...
How much you're losing this fight or?
Oh, got it. You're
doing that. Crap!
Hey, hey. Do you mind
if we take a break?
- Wait, what?
- A break. I just need a minute.
Sure. I mean, it's not
really my call, but...
Can we stop the simulation?
Okay. End simulation.
- What is wrong with me today?
- Wrong? No. You're doing fine.
Everything feels off,
like nothing's working.
Oh, I should go
call my dog sitter.
- Nice work, Dennis.
- Oh, thanks. Means a lot.
- Haze, Sha-Boom, look...
- I bet you just didn't stretch enough.
- You have tight-muscle face.
- She does.
- You know what you should do?
- What?
Try not to let the
monster k*ll you.
Mix it up a little. Maybe
don't die every time.
Yeah, good advice.
I'll have to try that.
- How did you pass this test?
- No cheating.
This is an important superhero
super test for our super squad,
- the Pow Pow Boom Booms.
- Pow Pow Boom Boom!
I know. I really
wanna be part of it.
Yeah, you do.
Maybe you don't understand
how badass our crew is.
- I mean, I think it's really badass.
- It's way more badass than that.
You see, it all started
because, well, I'm badass.
Close-up on your hero
sh**t tight, then zoom.
Time to stan your highness.
All hail Sha-Boom.
It's a regular Monday
You're off to work.
Your worst moment of the
day Is you get short.
Come on, man!
Shortchanged by a clerk.
But up here An octopus
thingy h*jacked a mall.
And he's ten meters
tall. That's pretty tall.
He's real damn tall
I wrap him up in his
eight long tents.
And squeeze his
calamari guts out.
It's pretty intense.
The place goes nuts And
they give us it all.
Ice cream, light up boots
And a night at the mall.
Your worst day is
our walk in the park.
While we're chasing
Nazis after an ark.
That's the plot
of Indiana Jones.
An incoming asteroid
Is all gloom and doom.
That's cute.
That's a weekend in June
For the Pow Pow Boom Booms.
That's the name of our crew.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Sounds like you guys have
a really good thing going.
Hey, you wanna know a secret?
She wants to know if
you wanna know a secret.
Yes, I understood the question.
Our crew used to be run
By a chick named Shablam.
What a freak She
was all into glam.
She loved glitter.
The secret of my super
status How I got the crown.
Well, I pushed that freak down.
- Wait, that's, like, not good.
- What's not? I missed it.
I always have to get something
when she talks about her secret.
But it's all for the best
It's now running smoother.
We're influencers Got more
dough than Lex Luthor.
So sing that jam and
march to our tune.
And get down, get dirty
With the Pow Pow Boom Booms.
That's the name of our crew.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Oh, let me take this real quick.
I'll be right back.
- I'm gonna go stretch my body.
- Go stretch it out.
Mom? I can't really talk.
I'm in the middle of
my sinister plan thing.
Yeah, my sinister plan.
It's going really well.
I made up a whole simulation to expose
Fista Puffs to my diminishing ray,
so her powers are diminishing.
Fista Puffs is gonna
turn into Fista Pooped.
Diminishing ray?
That's what that was.
She's diminishing my powers.
That power diminisher!
Yes, I had lunch. I don't
know, like a hot dog?
I'm taking care of myself, Mom.
So what if I had that
for breakfast? God!
Hot dogs are protein,
and they taste yummy.
I'm gonna diminish ray you.
Nothing! Love you, Mom.
Ninety-three,
ninety-four, ninety-five.
You will not believe what I
just heard in the bathroom.
Superheroes do not
discuss bathroom noises.
No. Sha-Boom was on
the phone with her mom.
She's using a
diminishing ray on me.
What? Why would her mom
do that? She's so nice.
No! Sha-Boom! She's
diminishing my powers. Look.
You just punched
me in the stomach?
- But it didn't hurt that much, right?
- It didn't feel great.
- Let me do it again.
- No!
I knew something was off
about this whole thing.
- Why is she doing this?
- Because I'm a baddie, bad guy. Girl.
Also, I wouldn't go in
the bathroom for a while.
I did something
bad in there too.
I've been eating
a lot of hot dogs.
Battle!
- Owie.
- Yeah, I bet.
Okay, here comes the hair.
Losing powers.
Strength fading.
Puffs de-puffing.
Give up. I've had enough
of your puffin' stuff.
Sha-Boom! What the hell?
What about the code of
the Pow Pow Boom Booms?
"What about the code of
the Pow Pow Boom Booms?"
I guess my answer to that is...
No, no, no, no. Don't haze me.
Time to get boomed!
I've got you. Getting weaker.
Fista Puffs! I'm sorry. You
were right. She's awful!
You're such a better friend/superhero/
you're super fun to be with.
I can't hold on to
her much longer.
Sha-Boom!
Hey, good news.
My dog sitter said Mr. Fuzzy
went poo-poo twice on his walk.
Wait, wait, wait.
What's going on?
Be cool. Be cool.
Oh, I didn't like that.
You guys probably shouldn't wrestle
near the simulator control panel.
A lot of buttons.
Yeah, my butt just pressed
all kinds of buttons.
Yep, simulated monsters.
Oh, they're everywhere.
I remember that guy. Hi.
Molly! Dinner!
Let's fill that tum-tum
with some yum-yum!
Okay, here I come-come.
Spaghetti. My favorite. My sweet,
stringy make-everything-okay food.
I thought you could use it,
'cause it seems like you had a tough
day on your class trip to the museum.
It was fine. Saw some artifacts.
Learned some "arty-facts."
Best joke ever! Best joke ever!
You're the funniest
daughter I've ever had.
No, no. Well, okay,
if you insist.
Whatever you're going through, I'm
not gonna offer any mom advice.
Just tasty, tasty spaghetti.
I'm not gonna make you
help clean up afterwards
'cause you do not
need that. Am I right?
And I'm not gonna
fart like usual.
Okay, a little one, but
it doesn't even smell.
You're right.
Can we do anything else
for you? Anything at all?
- Should we bring out the dessert cart?
- We have a dessert cart?
Want me to run through every kid I
know and say why you're more fun?
Do you want all of our meatballs?
Take all of our meatballs.
You're so pretty.
Everything's exactly
the way you want it.
What's that supposed to mean?
What? I'm just saying
you're not at all avoiding
what you're really
upset about, right?
And that's great. Even
if you were avoiding it,
I'd say that's great
too, 'cause you're great.
When problems come a-knocking And
it seems like they are stalking.
You pretend like
you're not home.
'Cause everything is peachy.
If you're staying outta reachy.
So pretend like no one's home.
Oh, knock, knock No one's home.
Nope, nope, no one's home.
- Who's there?
- Homework?
Oh, God. Not home.
Sorry, I can't answer
Just a plant, sir.
No one's home
I get it. It's like the
time my fish all d*ed,
and I pretended they were alive
because I didn't feel like
cleaning out the t*nk.
That putrid smell was worth
not having to deal with it.
Memories.
When life gets kinda real And
you just do not feel like dealin'
That's okay 'cause
no one's home.
- Be a shut-in, be a hermit.
- Take your social life and burn it.
And pretend that no one's home.
Oh, knock, knock -On vacation.
Knock, knock -Wrong location.
- Who's there?
- Chores.
No way. Not home.
Sorry, gone forever Come
back never 'cause...
- No one's home.
- Nope, no one's home.
Go away, ay, no one's home.
This feels a little too easy.
Maybe I need a dose of reality.
Mom, make me feel Like
you unfairly favor Cole.
You know that you're
my special baby.
Hey, Dad. Let's hear
how honeybees are dying.
No way, sweetie They're
probably just hiding
Cole, come on, remind me How
I almost k*lled my boyfriend.
When you poisoned him with nuts?
Like a fatal kissing klutz?
I'd say that took guts
And I wanna be you.
- This feels weird.
- Feelings?
When your feelings come a-calling
And they're growing and snowballing.
- Let 'em know that no one's home.
- No one's home.
Just turn off all the lights And
cover all the doors with spikes.
- They will know that no one's home.
- You're not home.
Oh, knock, knock No one's home.
Yell out, "Go away"
Put up a sign.
That says you're
being fumigated.
Bed bugs -Toxic waste.
Haunted house -Caution tape.
Anything to keep out real life.
If you act like no one's home.
- Won't you end up all alone?
- No.
Just move your
family underground.
And live off rabbits
that you found.
Idle hands make idle minds So make
some friends to pass the time.
If folks complain about the stench
Just spray perfume, be like the French.
You'll start to miss the outside world
So ask for updates from the squirrels.
And that'll keep you going While
the winds of change are blowing.
Till you die when no one's home.
So that's why we encourage you.
To live like no one's home.
Nope. None of that feels right.
- Molly, dinner.
- Coming.
Oh, God. Salmon?
- Don't knock it. It's brain food.
- I'd rather eat brain.
I think someone's field trip to
the museum made someone cranky.
- Does someone want to talk about it?
- Please no.
Okay, sure. We'll
just sit here quietly.
Nope, I don't like
it. Tell us. Tell us.
Fine. But I'll only talk about it if
you promise not to offer any mom advice.
Mom advice? What's mom advice?
Really good advice given for
free by a smart, confident woman?
Is that what the kids are
calling good advice these days?
What about Cole's bro-vice, which
is my special brotherly advice?
Stay in school. Floss.
Don't fill up on bread.
That's actually good advice.
I was looking forward to
going on a trip to the museum.
It "feeled" like it
was gonna be fun.
Field. Trip. No?
Anyway, I was hanging out with Hazel,
and we were having a really good time.
And then this girl Hazel knows
from basketball, Shauna, shows up.
She's funny. It was
funny. And I'm funny too.
As you all know,
I can make jokes.
- Yeah.
- Right, sure.
- All of a sudden, I'm Mrs. Awkward.
- You? No.
- Awk-weird, maybe?
- And it's not that I was jealous.
I was just casually aware
of how everything Shauna said
made Hazel laugh like an idiot.
- And yes, I was jealous.
- That is tough.
You know what you need?
My salmon skin. Here.
Thank you. You're a bad person.
- You know what this reminds me of?
- Nothing?
Not nothing. Something that
happened in high school.
May I remind you that you
promised no mom advice?
This isn't mom advice.
It's a super-cool story
about something that
happened when I was your age.
I'd like to hear your
super-cool story.
- Oh, would you, Father?
- Yes, you all would.
When I was , I went
to the amusement park
with a bunch of kids
including Stacey Blankenship.
Mom, you've told us this
story a million times.
No, it's fresh every time.
I really wanted to be friends
with her because she was cool,
which was called
"rad" at the time.
Stacey wanted to ride a roller
coaster called Euthanasia,
and I then, therefore, wanted to ride
a roller coaster called Euthanasia.
- Even though...
- You throw up on roller coasters.
I throw up on roller
coasters. But...
But I got on and sat
right next to her.
And the ride operator
let us go twice
'cause Stacey
Blankenship was so cool.
Wasn't that nice of him?
And I held it together until the
second time round on the big drop.
Stacey's mouth was open and...
- You threw up in her mouth.
- Yeah, I did.
Oh, boy. I'm never fully
ready for this story.
- You have told us this.
- Yeah.
I need to tell everyone. Often.
I've been to the other side, people.
I've lived the ultimate embarrassment.
I threw up in Stacey
Blankenship's mouth.
And she swallowed it. She
swallowed a lot of it.
We did not become friends.
In fact, she never came back
to school because she moved.
But still, it was like I made
her family move with my vomit.
Even though I don't think that's why
they moved, but it might've been.
I still love you, I think.
I always enjoy this story,
because then me pooping on the
water slide isn't such a big deal.
Someone swallowed my throw up.
I got on a roller coaster that I didn't
want to get on to impress a cool girl,
and then someone
swallowed my throw up.
Okay. Good. Cool.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Cole, thank you for the salmon
skin and the wise words.
Mother, Father, lovely dinner.
I'm gonna excuse myself.
Molly, all I'm trying to say is:
Don't go chasing
roller coasters. Right?
She gets it.
Molly went back to
her room after dinner.
Her family came up to apologize
for doing and saying everything
wrong in her time of need.
Hiya, babe. Sorry I told the story
I tell all the time again at dinner.
I know sometimes you don't want me
to come at you with all my mom-ness.
- Yeah, it's...
- I mean, your dad was just saying
- how he thought I made some good points.
- I was? I was.
But I can see that I... Wait a
minute. Why am I saying this?
- 'Cause I...
- You're not drawing this.
You're drawing that.
Real Molly is drawing all of
this. You're not real Molly.
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm not me.
Someone's drawing me?
I've seen this before. I
took mushrooms in college.
I've written metafiction. I saw that
movie with Will Ferrell and Emma Watson.
- Thompson.
- Thompson. You know what I mean.
We figured you out, Miss Missy.
No, no, no. We're
not doing this.
Oh, yes, we are.
I'm not gonna apologize for telling
you that story. It was very relevant.
I agree with that. I would
tell you a story too, Molly,
if I had one that was
as horrible as that.
But no one does 'cause
it's the most in the world.
- Yeah.
- All right, never mind.
Go back downstairs. You don't
need to apologize. Just go.
- What are you drawing? Fista Puffs?
- Yeah.
- I mean, kind of.
- Oh, don't you start.
Why shouldn't I? This is almost
as weird as the last one.
- What last one?
- The last time you drew me
having a long, extended thing where I
was kissing Kite Boy while we were...
Okay, that's plenty. Thank you.
- Kissing while you were what?
- Nothing. Fighting crime.
You can kiss while you
fight. It's not weird.
Look. I'm drawing now too.
I invented a superhero, and
her name is Feetsa Puffs.
She fights crime with her feet.
I'm gonna draw her dying over and
over trying to k*ll a monster.
It's not at all 'cause someone was
trying too hard on a field trip.
- She's processing.
- Yeah.
Pretty cool, right?
- Everybody shush, shush!
- I like it. Feetsa Puffs.
- Okay, stop. I'm erasing all of you.
- Wait. Wait. Wait. Whoa. No!
Sorry. I just need to clear
my head and start fresh.
Gotta be unique,
but gotta blend in.
Hide my inner geek
and keep pretending.
Gotta keep 'em laughing
Though I'm only half in.
Gotta put a show on Till
I know they like me.
Gotta be aloof Make
a good impression.
Gotta hide the proof
Of my self-expression.
Never be revealing,
gotta be appealing.
Suddenly I'm feeling
Like I'm getting so.
- Small.
- Breaking into little pieces.
Losing power -Getting weaker.
Gotta do whatever pleases.
Till they let me in.
So we try to be
more than enough.
Trying to be strong and tough.
Trying to be
something we're not.
Try to fit a different plot.
Proving we're bold
Without causing a fuss.
We're trying so hard to be us.
Will it ever be enough?
Gotta be unique,
but gotta blend in.
Hide my inner geek
and keep pretending.
Gotta keep 'em laughing
Though I'm only half in.
Gotta put a show on Till
I know they like me.
Like me.
Like me, la-like me.
But I know there's
nobody like me.
So we try to be
more than enough.
Trying to be strong and tough.
Try to be something we're not.
Try to fit a different plot.
Proving we're bold
Without causing a fuss.
We're trying too hard to be us.
We're already more than enough.
In a world Where no
one wears disguises.
We would all be free.
But being divided
is what was decided.
So that's how it has to be.
But if we try to
uncover what's real
I'm already strong and tough.
Put down our armor and shield.
Gonna fit the plot I've got.
And just remember
you're never alone.
If the back that
you've got Is your own.
Gotta be unique,
but gotta blend in.
Hide my inner geek
and keep pretending.
Gotta keep 'em laughing
Though I'm only half in.
Gotta put a show on Till
I know they like me.
No more trying
too hard to be me.
'Cause that's one
thing It's easy to be.
Take the trying
away and be free.
'Cause it's their
turn To try to see me.
I've got a monster to deal with.
Hey, hi. I'm back. You got
a big scary monster, huh?
- Yes! It's in arms and armor!
- I know.
You seem pretty
relaxed about it.
Not gonna make a cool,
funny comment? No wordplay?
No. I think I know how
to b*at this thing.
I was trying too hard before.
How do you not try too hard when a
monster is trying to bite your head off?
Well, you don't race in there and
fight the monster in arms and armor.
- You don't?
- No.
We're in the Met. It's got two-foot-thick
cement walls and solid steel doors.
You don't fight the monster
because you don't have to.
It's already contained.
Isn't there an old man
still in the bathroom?
Yep, there's my guy.
- Oh, good. Hi.
- Hi.
I'm so contained.
Good containing.
- So you got your monster in there.
- Yeah.
But you don't get all obsessed
with fighting your monster
and let it take
over your whole life
- and potentially destroy you and stuff?
- Right.
Maybe you could do one pithy
zinger before the simulation ends?
All right. I'll give you one.
That's enter-containment?
That's... Wait, I don't...
Oh! Oh, it's over. Bye.
- You did it, kid.
- You b*at the simulation.
You're in the Pow Pow
Boom Booms. Finally.
Now, let's talk secret Pow
Pow Boom Boom handshakes,
which I call the "Pow
Pow Boom Boom Showroom."
And just to be clear, I'm
not the bad guy, right?
No, no, you're fine. That wasn't...
I shouldn't have made you bad.
I mean, she shouldn't.
Somebody shouldn't.
- Is that us?
- What? No.
- Why, does that look like us?
- It looks good. I like how I look.
Is that me? Did you
make me look weird?
No! No, no. That's...
It's not really you.
- I like that drawing.
- That's 'cause you look good.
- I look like an angry old man.
- No, no. You look okay.
I think we're gonna be drawing that
again 'cause I am not an angry old man.
Not yet.
Get dirty With the
Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Pow Pow Boom Boom.
Pow Pow Boom Boom When
we walk into the room.
All you monsters Gonna
feel some pain soon.
The world may seem
all doom and gloom.
Till you open up a can
Of Pow Pow Boom Boom
02x03 - Fista Puffs Mets Out Justice
Series revolves around Owen and his family living in Central Park in New York City who must save it from a greedy land developer.