01x01 - Dino Park

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Cars on the Road". Aired: September 8, 2022 - present.*
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Lightning McQueen and his best friend Mater head east from Radiator Springs on a cross-country road trip to meet up with Mater's sister.
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01x01 - Dino Park

Post by bunniefuu »

[ENGINE REVVING]

[LAUGHS]

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!
[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Whoo!
[EXCLAIMING]

- Bye!
- [SHOUTS]

Mater, what are you doing?

Just letting you know I'm going to be gone

'cause I'm heading back east
to go to my sister's wedding.

- Anyway, bye.
- Oh.

Wait a minute.
You have a sister?

RAMONE: Whoa!

FLO: I'd say Mater's been holding out on us.

Mater is a complicated guy.

Mamma mia! Mater has a sister?

Boggles the mind, man.

Mater, it must be ages
since you've seen her.

You've got that right.

That'll put pressure on the reunion.

Oh, boy, if you only knew.

Ain't nothing better than a wedding
to bring folks together.

Family is a precious thing, man.

Yeah, well, honestly, my sister and I
don't get along too well, and...

[SIGHS] This is one trip
that I ain't looking forward to.

Hey, Mater, I was thinking.

What if I go with you?

Really?
You'd do that?

Sure.
Let's make it a road trip.

- We'll take Mack.
- [RELAXING MUSIC PLAYING]

We'll relax, stretch out on the trailer.
We'll be there in no time.

Well, sh**t.
That ain't a real road trip.

- We got to drive it ourselves...
- Uh...

...take our time.

- But...
- Wander the backroads.

Make new friends.

- Yeah, I get it. It's just...
- I knew you'd see it my way, buddy.

Oh, you've got to stop
at the Trees of Mystery.

[LAUGHS]
It'll blow your mind, man.

Oh, yeah. We're going to see
all the places.

There is a palace made
entirely of rotini pasta.

- Ah. Bellissima.
- Sounds delicious.

Make sure you stop by New Orleans
for some of that sweet jazz, baby.

- [FLO SCATTING]
- Uh...

What have I gotten myself into?

[LAUGHS]
I think you just agreed

to drive cross-country
with your best friend.

Well, sure, in Mack's trailer,

but this is a bit more
than I signed up for.

I mean, I... I love Mater,
but that's a lot of Mater.

...and it was all bumpy-like.
Almost like...

- [BLABBERING]
- [LAUGHTER]

Don't look at me. I could use a break
without either one of you.

- [LAUGHS]
- Hey, Ramone can fix you up

with a new look for the trip.

- McQueen. It's paint time. Vamanos.
- [FLO LAUGHS]

So, what's it going to be?

Well, I guess it's settled.

McQueen and Mater are hittin' the road.

[SINGING]
MAN: ♪ Hittin' the highway, a couple of friends ♪

- [EXCLAIMS]
- [ROARS]

- ♪ With new adventures ♪
- [THUNDER BREAKS]

- ♪ 'Round every bend ♪
- [HONKING]

- ♪ Whether racing fast ♪
- [LAUGHS]

- ♪ Or getting towed ♪
- [EXCLAIMS]

- Whoo-hoo!
- ♪ Ever together, cars on the road ♪

Okay, So how come you never mentioned
[LAUGHS] this sister of yours?

Well, I don't think about her that much,
until she turns up,

like any other natural disaster.

Mater, that's no way
to talk about your sister.

[GASPS] You're right.
She's going to know somehow.

And then when she sees me, she's gonna...

Wait, you're not
[LAUGHS] afraid of her?

Nah, I ain't scared of nothing.
[YELPS]

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

[BOTH SIGH]

Whoa!

It's a Dino Park.

I love these.
Let's go see.

Uh, I don't know.
Seems kind of like school.

Ah, come on.
Look, you picked the last three stops.

World's largest tire maze.

- McQueen!
- Mater!

- McQueen!
- Mater?

McQueen!

World's largest lug nut.

Behold the majesty.

Not to mention, Carhenge.

- [CRASHING]
- The sign said, "Don't Touch!"

Uh, anyway, I don't know much
about these dino things.

Well, that's all about to change.

Oh! The old barn dweller.
Quadratorquosaur.

Notice how the dorsal plates
were arranged to fend off an att*ck.

The Westfalanapus
were the first grazing dino vans.

They traveled in herds for safety.

How do you know all this anyway?

Hours of intense scientific research,
my friend.

The Westfalanapus
were the first grazing dino vans.


They traveled in herds for safety.

Ugh. Do they at least
have a snack bar here?

Come on, give it a chance.
Who knows? Maybe you'll learn something.

Hey, free movie.

- [GRUNTS]
- MATER: Uh...

Looks kind of fakey to me.

[GROWLING]

- [METAL CRUSHING]
- Ugh. Brutal.

- [KIDS LAUGHING]
- [BLUE CAR SHUSHING]

This specimen M,
we affectionately refer to as Mimi.

Hers is the most complete skeletal example
of a compact theropod.

- Oh, dear mother.
- Shh.

Uh, isn't it true that Mimi's species
survived the asteroid event

that eradicated other plains-dwelling
sedans in the region?

[YAWNS]

Oh, yes, [CLEARS THROAT]
that is partially true.

And while the theropods survived,
there were other conditions.

During the late Carboniferous...

[VOICE DISTORTING, ECHOING]

MATER: Huh?

- Whoa!
- [VOLCANO ERUPTING]

[BELLOWING IN DISTANCE]

Aw, gee, now what?

I'm all up in it.

Lightning!
What happened to you?

Mater, everyone knows
there were million years

between the dino cars
and the more advanced models.

- So?
- So I'm saying

this scenario is
scientifically impossible.

- [ROARING]
- [GASPS]

Whoa! That looks like an actual
Tyranamissiasaurus Rex.

Oh, I got to get a closer look.

Uh, I wouldn't go near that critter.

[GROWLING]

She's a beauty.

Get a load of those teeth.

[ROARING]

[YELPS]
Mater!

[GROANING]

Hey, that's sharp!

Mater!
A little help!

I've got you, buddy.

Anytime, Mater!

Spit him out, you overgrown vermin!

- [GRUNTS]
- [TAPS]

[ROARS]

[GROANS]

[YELPING]

- [ROARING]
- [BOTH GASPING]

[ROARING]

Dadgum!

That's one big old son of a...

Spinocrankshaftorex Rex!
The largest and fiercest of the...

[YELPING]

- [ROARING]
- [YELPS]

- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- Lightning! [GRUNTS]

- [TIRES SCREECHING]
- [SHOUTING]

[McQUEEN AND MATER EXCLAIMING]

Mater!

[McQUEEN GROANS]

[ECHOING]
Mater!

[STRAINING]

I'll save you, buddy!

[KIDS LAUGHING]

CAR: Kids, don't laugh at the funny truck.

Whoo!
That was something.

Once that dadgum Tyranamissiasaurus Rex
got his teeth into you,

and the Spinocrankshaftorex had showed up,
I was fairly convinced

[LAUGHS]
you was toast.

Well, what do you know,
I guess I accidentally learned stuff.

My mind does feel a bit puffy.

Well, now that you've had
a nice little nap,

maybe it's time to get back on the road.

Farewell, Mechaturbonatops.

Perhaps we'll meet another day.

So where to next?

The Caverns of Mystery
or the Giant Muffler of Mystery?

Or how about the World's Largest
Corn Palace of Mystery,

Which one's the most educational?

[LAUGHS] What? Aren't you scared
you might learn something?

- sh**t, I ain't scared of nothin'.
- [CLANKS]

- Whoa!
- [CREAKING]

Mater!

Hey, Mater.
Wait up, buddy!

Mater!

[CLICKS]
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