01x07 - The Retreat

[bunniefuu]

HOLLIWAY: Your first case is
the parole of Emil Blonsky.

- Also known as Abomination.
- (ROARS)

Jennifer Walters. Namaste.

JENNIFER: Previously on She-Hulk...

The man you see before you
is not the same Emil Blonsky.

He plans to open a meditation retreat.

We hereby grant Mr. Blonsky's release
on parole, effective immediately.

Mr. Blonsky is prohibited
from turning into Abomination

and is ordered to wear an
inhibitor in perpetuity.

I'm Josh.

Jen.

JOSH: My plan was to strike up a normal

conversation with a beautiful woman.

JENNIFER: She-Hulk is amazing.

I just wanted to be amazing tonight.

I don't know. I think
you're pretty great.

NIKKI: Some of these are death threats.

MALLORY: Best thing to do is ignore it.

Just let her live her life.

(SHOWER RUNNING)

- (SHOWER STOPS)
- (PHONE CHIMES)

(UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

(PHONE CHIMES)

- Bye.
- I'll text you.

The client's insurance
policy covers acts of God.

Okay. Good night.

(PHONE CHIMES)

(SPITS)

WOMAN ON SCREEN: Sometimes in life,

you just gotta go for what you want.

And you are what I want.

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

(TEXTING)

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- (CHUCKLES)

NIKKI: Jen!

You didn't tell me you were nominated
for Female Lawyer of The Year.

Does this mean we get to go to a gala?

Hello? Oh, oh, are you going down

a rabbit hole on that Intelligencia site?

What? No.

I don't care what a bunch of
losers say about me online.

Can't even say it to my face 'cause
they know they'd get Hulk-smashed.

No, I'm waiting for a text from Josh.

What? Okay. That's enough for you.

You need to set a limit
so you stop checking that.

- What about just hourly?
- No.

It's just the first hours after you

sleep with someone for the first time.

It just feels icky.

You just gotta coast through it
without doing anything stupid.

(GRUNTS)

Why can't he just text me
back? Why is that so hard?

There's no reason nowadays
to not respond to a text.

He could be in a
meeting or at the movies.

There's weddings, funerals,
job interviews, silent retreats.

I hope he's at all of those today.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GRUNTS)

(PHONE CHIMES)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Jennifer Walters.

Chuck Donelan.

Emil Blonsky's parole officer.

Chuck? How are you?

Um... I can't imagine you calling
me on a Sunday is good news.

Got that right.

We got a malfunction alert
on Blonsky's inhibitor.

Oh, did he turn into The Abomination?

We don't know,

so I gotta go up to that
wackadoo ranch of his.

Okay. Well, I'll check in with him.

Well, you have danced right
on over to why I called.

We don't have the resources for
a squad of uniforms to go with me,

so I was hoping you'd meet me there.

Just in case, you know...

In case The Abomination
decides not to cooperate.

Yeah. My chances of staying out
of the ICU would be much greater

- if I had a Hulk with me.
- Mmm-hmm.

I'm not interrupting your plans, am I?

No. Not at all. Nope.
I will see you there.

Great, 'cause the place is full
of weirdos and I don't wanna be...

(SINGING ALONG TO RADIO)

CHUCK: Hey, Jen! Jen, Jen. Wait!
Wait, wait, wait. Jen, wait for me!

CHUCK: Hey, Jen.

Thanks, again, for doing this.

Yeah, I mean, if he's
violated his parole,

his lawyer should be here.

- Yeah.
- All right.

(HONKS HORN)

- No, Jen! Jen!
- Are you here? Blonsky!

You're honking your horn at a
ten-foot-tall lizard monster.

So, maybe, put on your green suit.

- Put on my green suit?
- Yeah.

Get big, Jolly Green yourself?

- What do you call it?
- Hulking out.

Okay. Good. Whatever.
Then, would you? Please?

It's definitely malfunctioning.

I don't know why.

Maybe you might've jostled it or...

Come to think of it, I did get a
jolt from an electric fence earlier,

but it was worth it
because my favorite chicken,

Princess Silk Feather, was stuck.

- Your favorite chicken?
- Yeah.

- Favorite chicken.
- Great.

Well, I have recalibrated your
inhibitor and she's good to go.

So, stay away from the
electric fence, maybe?

Then I won't have to make any more
scary trips up here. (CHUCKLES)

Not that I don't like coming here.

- No.
- I just...

Yeah, come back any time.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

He's always in such a hurry to leave.

Well, he thought he was
here to face The Abomination.

What about you then, Jen?

Um, I thought you worked
hard to get out of prison

and you'd be really dumb to go back in.

- Aye, true that.
- (BIRD CHIRPS)

Sorry. I thought I heard a ding.

I've already wasted half a Sunday on

this expedition, so
I'm gonna get moving.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, my God!

Ah! Hey! What the hell?

(GROANS)

- (HUFFS)
- Wait.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

What the hell is going on?

It's just two men working
through their resentments

in a safe environment, Jen.

Sorry. It's my fault.

You know what? Apologize to
my Prius Prime with money.

I will apologize to your Prius,
if that'll make you feel better.

Brother Blonsky taught me a lot about

taking responsibility for my anger.

Man-Bull.

A weird lab experiment. Don't ask.

And I am El Águila.

And before you make assumptions,
no, I am not a matador.

That'd make the two of us
fighting pretty cliché, no?

Working through identity issues here.

- I don't have issues.
- EMIL: All right.

I know exactly who I am.

I am a swashbuckler.

He says that like it's an occupation.

Waving a sword around isn't
a job unless you're a matador.

You see, to Man-Bull,
El Águila represents

every person who's tried to, you know,

s*ab him in the, you know, for
being "an affront to nature."

Of which there are many.

- MAN-BULL: So many.
- Yeah.

This is so much unnecessary backstory

to tell to someone whose
car you just destroyed.

I can't drive this. How
am I supposed to go home?

You know, sometimes
life presents a teacher

when there's a lesson to be learned.

Jen, think of this totally knackered
Prius Prime as your teacher.

Um, that was nothing.

You just said nothing in response

- to a very straightforward question.
- Yeah.

Man-Bull? Give us a push
to the garage, would you?

Do I look like a mechanic?
My name is Man-Bull.

- Not Mechanical-Bull.
- (EXHALES)

Wow. How long have you
been waiting to say that?

- That felt very forced.
- You, too?

EMIL: I think it's fantastic news
that the tow truck won't get here

until later today.

JENNIFER: How is that fantastic news?

Well, it means that you
can spend some time here.

You know, relax.

Is there no cell reception here?

No. Okay, so, over
there is the Wood Lodge

where I offer private
spiritual consultation

and life-coaching.

It's exclusive to our
Platinum Circle members.

- Hi, Princess. So cute.
- Uh-huh.

EMIL: Uh-huh.

- You got a text.
- Did I?

- Yeah.
- Where? Very funny.

(EMIL LAUGHS)

In our ceremonial sweat yurt,

we integrate the past and
the present into one being.

So, what do you say? Pick you up in ?

I'm not sweating it out in a yurt today.

I need to get some work done.

So, if you could get me
a desk and some Wi-Fi.

It's a bit of a hard ask, I'm
afraid, on the Wi-Fi front.

We don't carry it as a policy.

You know, distractions from
the outside and all that.

And you have no reception
anywhere, either.

This isn't how I want to spend my day.

Maybe it's how you
need to spend your day.

I'm gonna find a signal.

Clearly, you're not in a
teachable mood right now

and I do respect that. So...

I'm around if you need me.

Oh, hell, yes.

Jen! You remember El
Águila and Man-Bull?

- Uh-huh.
- This is Porcupine. He's a porcupine.

And Saracen thinks he's a vampire.

Wow, this is quite a group.

- You're welcome to join.
- JENNIFER: I'll pass.

I'm just gonna work over
here in the one square meter

of this property that
actually has reception.

Okay.

Last session, we really explored

Alejandro's struggles with his identity.

Just because I am Spanish and
I have a flair for the style,

people constantly assume
that I am a matador.

It's dehumanizing.

Spanish is a language,
not a nationality, so...

You've never heard of Spain?

It's not your fault, but
those attributes make me

see you as a matador.

And, well, that's triggering for me.

I did do some light
matadoring in college.

Oh, my God! Dude, what?

We do have to guard
against codependency here.

- We are not codependents.
- Interesting.

What do you think, Man-Bull?

Our relationship...

I'm asking Man-Bull.

SARACEN: I'd like to say something.

EMIL: Great.

Saracen.

They have been spending
a lot of time together.

I'm feeling like maybe it's not healthy.

Mmm. Unhealthy. I called that, too.

I'm sorry. Porcupine,
you wanna share something?

No, thanks.

Now, remember how we
talked about vulnerability

and how important it is to the process?

Yes. Yeah.

How taking your suit off
would be a great first step?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah?

You wanna do that today?

I just feel safer with it on. Thank you.

WRECKER: Whoo-whee!

Sorry, I'm late. I lost
track of time in the yurt.

- No way.
- Jen.

I needed it though. I
was hurtin' for a yurtin'.

That guy is here? You probably
don't even remember who he is.

Tell me they previously on'd him.
I don't care. We're doing it again.

Previously on this guy!

If you're gonna strut around
showing off your powers,

you better be able to back it up.

(GRUNTING)

WRECKER: I was visited by a
lot of feminine energy in there.

I think I was talking to
my dead grandmother, Rose.

Hard to tell when you're
surfing the yurt though. Right?

Oh, hey!

Jen! Jen! Jennifer!

Come on, I stacked those.

- It's cool. Let it go.
- MAN-BULL: I'm allowed to be angry!

- Whoa, whoa!
- This assh*le and his friends

att*cked me behind my apartment.

Yeah, Jennifer, darling,

I'm gonna need you to sit
in the calming chair now.

Right now.

- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- PORCUPINE AND MAN-BULL: The chair.

- PORCUPINE: You in trouble.
- Fine.

Once I'm out of there,
I'll rip this guy to shreds.

Hold on. That is not how we work
through our issues around here.

- Well, she's welcome to the circle.
- Okay.

- But she has to get her own chair.
- Okay.

I'd love to work through
our issues if you'll let me.

So, I realized real strength comes

from looking in the mirror and saying,

"Hey, man, I'm gonna work on me."

I didn't need a magic crowbar to
give me a false sense of power.

All it did was make me and
my boys act like idiots.

Rolling up on you like we were
some supervillains or something.

You att*cked a woman four to one.
You absolutely were supervillains.

I hear you, Jen, and I take radical
accountability for my actions.

And I'm very sorry.

Oh, my God.

Seems like a breakthrough.
He's so sorry.

- Sarcasm.
- EL AGUILA: Wow.

Hennifer clearly has
some stuff going on,

and she'd rather sit
here, getting her kicks,

listening to us, than
working on herself.

I'm not getting my kicks. And I'm fine.

- (SCOFFS)
- What?

You're not fine.

Flying into a rage. Throwing
people across the room.

- Into perfectly stacked chairs.
- Mmm-hmm.

Everyone else has shared.

So is there anything you
wanna get off your chest?

- No.
- EMIL: Look at you.

You are glued to that thing.

(SCOFFS)

I met a guy, Josh, at a wedding.

We went on a few dates. I
thought it was going great.

Then, I haven't heard from him.

Now I can't stop
thinking about it. Okay?

- When was the last time you talked to him?
- Uh,

three nights ago when we...

Made love?

First off, ew.

No, when we'd slept
together for the first time.

- Another direct hit.
- Okay, are you two married?

- Come on.
- Codependency.

Yeah, actually, could you
switch seats with someone?

- Anyone?
- Are you happy?

- It's feeling just a little unhealthy.
- Mmm-hmm.

EMIL: Thank you.

So how many dates?

- (SCOFFS) Three.
- What was the last thing you texted him?

Um...

"That was fun. I can't stop smiling."

- Oh, God.
- Yikes.

- What?
- PORCUPINE: "I can't stop smiling"?

It is thirsty and a cliché.

You're thirsty and a cliché.

- No, she did not just call me...
- (CHUCKLES)

Bottom line. You said game
on and he didn't respond.

- That's not the last thing I texted him.
- I'm sorry, what?

Just now 'cause I was so worried
I hadn't heard from him in so long.

- He could be in a ditch somewhere.
- What did you do?

"Hey, getting a little worried.
Just wanna know you're okay."

Blushing smile emoji.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Why would you do that?

I don't know! I was freaking out, okay?

It's a real bad look.

I know it's a bad look, Man-Bull.

You don't have to point out
my mistakes. My mom does that.

We have to consider the very real
possibility that you were ghosted.

- Or he wanted your blood.
- No, not that.

Don't talk about blood.
We're not your dad.

Don't talk about my dad.

Hermanos, please.

Jen, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to talk so...

No.

I met him when I was
Jen, and he liked Jen.

He specifically didn't
ask about She-Hulk.

You know in high-school that
friend you have that's like,

cooler than you are?

Like, more attractive and athletic.

They get all the attention from everyone.

Hello.

Like, you think life would be so
much easier if I were that person,

and I can turn into that
person anytime I want to.

And everyone pays
attention when I'm this.

Like, my colleagues, my boss, guys.

But it feels like cheating

because would they like me
if I didn't have all of this?

Like, if I was just Jen, would
the same guys who like She-Hulk

stick around for Jen?
Because some of them don't.

And that sucks for Jen
because Jen is great,

and no one cares when they're She-Hulk.

So, like, I meet this guy
who actually likes Jen,

and that just felt good
to know that, you know?

And then, he ghosts me and it sucks.

Screw this guy! Where does he live?

Let's k*ll him. He's gotta die.

Big men, please.

No. Man-Bull's correct.

Josh has made an enemy
of this entire group.

Tonight, we ride!

That's awesome!

Alejandro, you've been warned about
using bio-electricity in group before.

Sorry.

Let's find this Josh guy
and suck out all his blood.

EL AGUILA: Yes!

- (ALL CLAMORING)
- No, wait, guys! Wait! Jen is hurting,

and all we can offer her is v*olence?

Does anyone think they
could speak to Jen's pain

with the tools that we've
learned in the group?

Well, for one thing, I'd say
you can't control what others do.

It hurts when someone rejects us

because it reminds us of the
times we reject ourselves.

Maybe this Josh thing hurts so much

'cause you haven't been
spending enough time with Jen.

And that's a shame because I
bet Jen is pretty damn great...

- Yeah.
- ...and tasty.

Went off the rails.

- Somebody bail me out.
- Maybe...

just maybe this Josh isn't the
only guy who likes Jen Walters.

Maybe, there's a group
of guys right here

who would love to spend
time with Jen right now.

EMIL: Okay, Jen.

Do you believe that this group
genuinely values the whole of you?

- I do.
- And there it is.

So maybe, you can stop using
She-Hulk as a protective shield

and trust us with Jen.

- PORCUPINE: Yeah!
- (ALL CLAPPING)

PORCUPINE: Great job.

I gotta say that felt really good.

Well...

Felt really good, Porcupine.

(AIR HISSING)

MAN-BULL: Oh, my God!

- WRECKER: It smells like a fart.
- MAN-BULL: Yeah.

- PORCUPINE: Feels really good.
- EL AGUILA: Oh, man.

How many hours a day do
you wear that mask, Papa?

- Why? Am I ashy?
- No, no, no.

Could you just leave the suit on
until we can get it dry cleaned?

Okay.

You know, Jen. If Josh
isn't spending time on Jen,

then Jen doesn't need to
be spending time on Josh.

Delete Josh's number
is what he's saying.

Oh.

- Delete it.
- Come on.

Delete it.

Really?

ALL: (CHANTING) Delete
it. Delete it. Delete it.

Delete it. Delete it. Delete
it. Delete it. Delete it.

- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- (JENNIFER LAUGHS)

- Okay. How do you feel?
- So much growth.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this,

but I'm hurtin' for a yurtin'.

(ALL CHEERING)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(ALL CHEERING)

Jen! I knew it. I told you!

- I told you!
- (ALL CLAMORING)

EMIL: Have to say it's not so.

Guys, I will never forget
any of you, honestly.

Well, we made this for you.

Aw. "Bye, Jen. We
love Jen and She-Hulk."

- We do.
- "The g*ng."

- That's nice.
- Says "g*ng" but it's not a literal g*ng.

Just make sure you make that
clear to the parole board.

Yeah, I will. Yeah.

- Okay.
- Bye.

- You got this.
- WRECKER: Take it easy.

- Sorry about the car again.
- That's okay.

- You stay out of trouble.
- Yeah. You, too, darlin'.

And Jen,

next time you think of Josh,
remember everyone we meet,

no matter how much they hurt
you, is a lesson learned.

Yeah. Despite those platitudes,
I am happy that I stuck around.

Feel free to come again.

Ooh, not till you get Wi-Fi.

- Okay.
- Come on.

(TRUCK ENGINE STARTS)

(CHUCKLES)