01x18 - Monster Detectives

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Backyardigans". Aired: October 11, 2004 - December 16, 2012.*
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Show centers around a group of five animal neighbors: Uniqua, Pablo, Tyrone, Tasha, and Austin as they journey to imaginary places in their backyard.
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01x18 - Monster Detectives

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm tasha.

And my name's austin.

All:
and we're...

* Your backyard friends,
the backyardigans *

* Together with
the backyardigans *

Pablo:
* in the place
where we belong *

Uniqua:
* where we'll probably
sing a song *

Tasha:
* and we'll maybe dance along

All:
* we've got the whole wide world
in our yard to explore *

* We always find things
we've never seen before *

* That's why every day
we're back for more *

* With your friends,

* The backyardigans *

"Monster detectives"

(Guttural sounds)
bleh! Blah! Bleh!

Blah! Blah!

Bleh! It's me, pablo,

And I am the soccer monster!

Soccer monsters
play soccer!

Soccer monster
love soccer!

* I am a soccer monster!

* I love a soccer ball! *

* I'd rather play soccer

* Than do anything at all

* You can be the kicker,

* I will be the blocker,

* Doesn't really matter

* As long as we play soccer!

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Yeah, one-two-three-four

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Put the ball on the floor

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Sing it one time more

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Pass... sh**t... Score!

* Pass... sh**t... Score!

* Pass... sh**t... Score!

Hey.

Bleh! A soccer ball!

Soccerrrrrr!

Bleh! Soccer monster love
this soccer ball.

Soccerrrrrr, soccerrrrr
soccerrrrrr!

Now - go to my
soccer monster castle!

Play soccerrr!

Bleh.

I just wish there was
another soccer monster

To play soccer with.

Oh well. Soccerrrrrr!

Soccerrrr!

Hey, it's me, uniqua.

I'm ready to play some soccer!

Soccerrr!

Wait a minute.

Where's my soccer ball?

I left it right here!

Hmm...

Hmmmm.

Very interesting.

Might be a case
of a missing soccer ball.

Let's investigate.

Excuse me,
young lady.

Is something missing?

Yeah!
My soccer ball!

It's gone!

Just what I thought.

I'm detective tyrone,
on the case.

Wow.

Now,
tell me what happened.

Well, I was playing
my favorite game ever,

Soccer,

With my favorite soccer ball
in the entire world...

Mm-hmm.

And then I went
to the bathroom.

Hmm, the bathroom.

I came back.

I see.

And my soccer ball was gone!

Gone?

Gone!

Very interesting.

Well, young lady,
I'd better investigate.

Mm-hmm.

Hmmmm.

Hmmm.

Very interesting.

Find anything?

Mm-hmm.

Young lady, I'm afraid your
soccer ball has been stolen.

Stolen?

Stolen!

But I think I know
who did it.

Who?

The soccer monster.

The soccer monster?!

Don't you worry,
young lady.

I'll get your
ball back.

You stay here.

No way!
I'm coming with you.

That's not a good idea,
young lady.

It's not easy
to get a soccer ball back

From the soccer monster.

I don't care.

That was my most favorite
soccer ball

And I'm going
to get it back!

Now let's go.

So, uh...
Where are we going?

To the soccer monster's
castle.

To get there
we have to go over the hill...

Down the road...

And through the woods.

C'mon, detective tyrone!
Hurry up!

Let's go!

Hold on there,
young lady.

You just can't go
running up to the front door.

Uh, why not?

Because it's against
the monster detective rules.

The rules?

The rules!

You've gotta know
the rules

If you wanna get your ball
back from the soccer monster.

Listen up.

* You must be sneaky now *

* I must be sneaky now

* Especially sneaky now

* Especially sneaky now

* You can't have shoes
that are squeaky now *

* Lady you got to be
quiet too *

* Quiet too

* Quiet too

* Rule number one:
be quiet *

* You cannot make
a sound *

* Make sure your feet
land softly *

* When they step upon
the ground *

* Okay, I must be quiet

* I will not make
a sound *

* But what if I must
yell or shriek *

* Or howl like a hound?

* You mustn't even
make a peep *

* Or else we will
be found! *

So I have to be sneaky
and quiet.

If you wanna get
your ball back,

That's rule number one.

Well, I can do that!

But there's more.
There's rule number two.

* Pay attention,
lady, *

* 'Cause here's rule
number two: *

* If you see that monster

* Do not let it play
with you! *

* If you play
with the monster, *

* Lady,
you'll be through *

* 'Cause whoever plays
with the monster *

* Will become
a monster too! *

Uniqua:
* if I play with that monster

* I'll be a monster too

* Hey that might be
pretty neat *

* It might be fun to do

* No that won't be neat

* It's not what
you should do *

* So if you see
the monster *

* Do not let it play
with you! *

I could really turn into
a soccer monster?

Only if you play
soccer with one.

So don't.

That's rule number two.

* We'll creep and sneak
and peek around, *

* Till we find
that soccer ball *

* Soccer ball

Both:
* till we find
that soccer ball! *

Shhhh!

(Whispers)
oh, right!

(Whispering)
there it is.

The soccer monster's castle.

Now c'mon,

Let's go get
your soccer ball.

Now remember the rules.

(Door creaks open)

Wow! Just look
at all this stuff!

These are the world's
greatest soccer players!

Look, pele!

Mia hamm...

Why are you sniffling,
young lady?

Well, I think it's
a little dusty in here.

(Sniffles)

And sometimes
dust makes me...

It makes me...
(Sniffles)

Makes you what,
young lady?

It makes me (sniffles)
sneeze.

Sneeze?

Yeah.

Aaah... Ahhhh...

Hold on there,
young lady!

Remember rule number one.

Be quiet!

Ahhh... Ahhhh....

(Squelching her sneeze)

Right. Quiet.

That was close.

Now c'mon, let's find
your soccer ball

And get out of here.

Where do you think
it is?

Not sure, young lady.

We just need to look
in every room we see.

(Play by play)
soccer monster gets the ball,

Passes it up-field to...

Soccer monster!

Soccer monster looks,

Taps it back to...

Soccer monster...

Who dishes it to...
Soccer monster.

Soccer monster winds up,
sh**t...

What a save by soccer monster!

Soccer monster just robbed
soccer monster of a goal!

The crowd goes wild!

(Chants)
soccerrrrr! Soccerrrr!
Soccerrrrr! Yeah!

Hey, look...

Trophies!

No time for that,
young lady.

Just look
for your soccer ball.

Uniqua! No!

(Crash)

Bleh?

I hear something!

Someone's in my castle!

Soccerrrrr! Socerrrrrrr!

Uniqua:
I didn't mean to break it,

I just wanted
to hold it.

Rule number three,
young lady:

Don't touch anything!

C'mon, help me put
this back together.

Pablo:
soccerrrrrr!

Both:
(gasps)

Pablo:
soccerrrrrr!

Uh-oh.

What is that?

That's the sound
of a monster.

It sounds like
he's coming this way!

Hurry! Over here!

Soccerrrrrr! Soccerrrrrr!

Bleh.
Somebody's in my castle.

Hellooo? Where are you?

I'm coming!

Whoa.
Wait a minute.

Hey, look!
My favorite team!

Manchester united!

Pablo:
soccerrrrrrrr!

Soccerrrrrr! Soccerrrrrr!

Bleh! Where are you?!

Hmm...

(Sniffles)

What's wrong?

The dust.
I think I'm gonna...

Aaah, aaah,
aaaaaaaaah...

(Relieved)

Hmm...
Who's in my castle?!

Phew.
That was really close.

Nice job keeping quiet,
young lady.

(Loudly)
thanks! (Echoes)

(Whispers)
I mean, thanks.

You know, that soccer monster
doesn't look scary.

He just looks like
he wants to play soccer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Remember, young lady,

If you play soccer
with the soccer monster,

Then you'll be a
soccer monster too!

Now c'mon,
we've got a job to do...

Find that soccer ball!

But now that the monster
knows we're here,

We need to be
extra sneaky.

Extra sneaky?

Exactly.

It's kind of like
hide and seek.

We hide
from the monster,

While we seek
your soccer ball.

Oh, and the monster
seeks us!

You catch on fast,
young lady.

C'mon.

Tyrone:
* we'll hide and seek

* We'll seek and hide

Uniqua:
* we'll find a closet,
peek inside *

Tyrone:
* there's nothing here *

* So, let's keep on searching

Both:
* and if that monster
comes we'll hide *

* Yes we must hide

* But that's not all

* We've got to seek
a soccer ball *

* So we'll search every
room in this castle *

Both:
* yes we'll keep searching
while we hide *

* The monster might
find us, *

* He'll sneak up
behind us *

* We won't make
a sound *

* As we look
all around *

Tyrone
* let's go on down
the hall now *

Both:
* and look for that
soccer ball now... *

Uniqua:
here he comes!

Tyrone:
c'mon!

* Me seek and hide

* Me hide and seek *

* Me find you
if it takes all week *

* Yes me will seek,

* And sneak up behind you

* And when I find you, *

* We'll play socccerrrrrr!

* I tell you what

* I want to see *

* I want some friends
to play with me *

* So now I'll seek you out
where you're hiding *

* I'll close my eyes
and count to three! *

Pablo:
one...two...

Uniqua:
(whispers) c'mon,
let's get out of here!

Three!
(Heavy sigh)

Bleh.

No matter how hard I seek,

I can't find them anywhere!

(Sighs)

I don't know
if I'll ever have anyone

To play soccerrrrr with.

(Sniffles)

Aaah...aaah...

Aaaahhhh.

Phew.

(Big sneeze)

Bleh?

Bless you.

Oh, thanks!

No, uniqua! Run!

Bleh?

Soccer monster friends
come baaaaack!

Time to play soccerrrrrr!

(Panting)

Okay.
I think we lost him...

For now.

Hey, look!

A soccer ball!

Here's another one!

And another one!

Detective tyrone,

Look at all these
soccer balls!

This must be the soccer
monster's gym!

I bet your ball
is here somewhere!

(Play by play)
uniqua gets the ball,

Kicks it to uniqua...

Hold on there,
young lady.

We've gotta find
your soccer ball

And get out of here!

Now, how do we know
which ball is your ball?

Easy.

Mine has pink spots!

Pink spots?
Okay!

Red spots...

Black spots...

White spots...

Uniqua:
no spots?

Tyrone:
square spots...

Uniqua:
big spots...

Tyrone:
teeny spots...

Boy, he has a lot
of soccer balls.

He certainly does.

Hey! My ball!

Pablo:
soccerrrrrrrr!!!!

Tyrone:
run!

Pablo:
soccerrrrrrr! Soccerrrrrrr!

Tyrone:
stay away from her!

Pablo:
soccerrrrrr!

Oof.

(Sighs)

Where are you,
soccer friends?

Hmm...

Huh?

Run!

Aaahhhh!

Soccerrrrrr!

Tyrone:
the way out - c'mon!

Why won't anybody play
soccer with me?

Aw...

Hey, I'll play soccer with you,

Soccer monster.

Uniqua, no!
Don't do it!

Just one game?

No! He'll turn you
into a soccer monster!

But that might be
kind of fun.

(Gasps)

Soccerrrrrr!

(Gasps)

Noooooooooo!

Soccerrrrrr!

Pablo:
soccerrrrrr!

Both:
soccerrrrrrr!

Tyrone:
hey! Stay away from me!

Get back!

I'm gettin' out of here!

Blahh!

Blahh!

Should we chase him?

Nah!

I want to play
socerrrrrr!

Rahhhh! Soccerrrrr!

* Ahhh! We are
soccer monsters! *

* We have our
soccer ball! *

* We'd rather play
soccer *

* Than do anything
at all *

Pablo:
* just come up to my door

* And knock on the knocker

* I come running out,

Both:
* and we can play
soccerrrrrr! *

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Just watch the ball roll

Both:
* soccerrrrrr!

* Yeah, it never gets old

Both:
* soccerrrrrr!

* It's got heart and soul

Both:
* soccerrrrrr!

* Pass...sh**t...score!

* Pass...sh**t...score!

* Pass...sh**t...score!

Both:
goalll!!

Rahhhhhhh!

(Panting) whoa!
Two soccer monsters.

I've never faced two monsters
at once before.

I'm out of here.

But wait,
I'm a monster detective

And they've still got
that soccer ball.

If I don't get it back,

I'm just not doing my job.

* I oughtta get out of here,

* I'm getting sick
of this place *

* But there's more to do,

* I haven't solved the case

* There are two monsters now,

* Before there was just one

* If I walk away,

* The job just won't be done *

* I didn't get the ball

* That the soccer monster
robbed *

* I need to heed the call

* And finish off the job!

(Guitar playing)

* I gotta get the job done!

* I gotta get the job done!

* It might not be easy,

* It's certainly not fun

* But I gotta get it done!

* I know it will be hard

* To get that ball back

* But if anyone can do it

* I've got the knack

* I'll just walk
right in there *

* And stop that soccer match

* Saying "give me back
that soccer ball *

* It wasn't yours to snatch"

(Guitar playing)

* I gotta get the job done!

* I gotta get the job done!

* It might not be easy,

* It's certainly not fun

* But I gotta get it done!

All right, stop right there,
soccer monsters!

Both:
bleh?

Tyrone:
this game's over!

You've snitched
your last ball,

Soccer monster!

By order of the monster
detective agency,

I order you to give it back
to its rightful owner!

Bleh.
Here you go.

Blah. Thanks.

Now let's play...
Soccerrrrrr!

Soccerrrrrr!

Tyrone:
wait!

Bleh?

Blah?

One more thing,
monsters.

Both:
blah?

Um... Do you have to be
a monster to play soccer?

Or could a monster
detective play too?

(Affirmative)
blah!

Come and play...
Soccerrrrrr!

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Just watch the ball roll

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Yeah,
it never gets old *

* Soccerrrrrr!

* It's got heart
and soul *

* Soccerrrrrr!

* Pass...sh**t...goal! *

* Pass...sh**t...goal!

* Pass...sh**t...goal!

* Pass...sh**t...goal!

Pablo:
goal!!!

Grrrrr!

Hey...
You good at soccer!

You sure you're not
a soccer monster?

Hmm. Maybe I am
a soccer monster!

Soccerrrrrr!

All:
soccerrrrrr!

Now I'm a soccer monster too!

All:
soccerrrrrr!

(Stomach rumbles)

Blah?

Bleh?

Was that another
monster?

Bleh!

Nope,
it was my stomach.

Want to come to my house
for a snack?

All:
snaaaacckkk!

Celery with hummus?

Yeah!

Yummy!

All:
snaaaackkkk! (Giggles)

Tyrone:
that was an excellent
monster-y adventure,

Don't you think?

It was awesome.

Yeah!
Totally.

* We've got the whole wide world
in our yard to explore *

* Now it's time for us
to a have snack *

* Meet you next time

* When we're back
with your friends, *

* The backyardigans

Pablo:
see ya later!

Tyrone:
next time!

Uniqua:
see ya!

Pablo:
soccerrrrrr!
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