01x12 - That Doesn't Float My Boat

[bunniefuu]

Come on Ruffman.
Think! Think!

Okay, how about this:
we put the contestants

on a deserted island;
three coconuts and that's it.

Ah, no, not coconuts,
bicycles, yeah.

Or bassoons.
Oh, it's brilliant.

Now I'm doomed.

Oh, hi.

Ever hear of writer's block?

Well, I have
game show host block.

Oh, boy, do I ever!

I've already gone through
eight squeaky toys.

But I can't go to sleep
till I come up with

at least one good idea.

Ew.
[ sniffs]

Maybe I should
take a bath first. Yeah.

I'm just gonna lie here
until the bathtub's filled.

[ sighs]:
Comfy.

[ yawns]:
Oh, okay, the next show.

Oh, I am so comfortable.
I... [ snores]

[ ticking]

...the cat...

[ yawning]

Aah! Water!

Oh, hey, I didn't know
squeaky toys could float.

Wait a minute.
Floating trash.

Boats. Trash. Boats.

Ooh, that's it!
I'm a genius!

Oh, my carpet is ruined.

But I'm a genius!

RUFF:
♪ Life was missing
its mystique ♪

♪

♪ My squeaky toys
had lost their squeak. ♪

And then, out of the blue,
I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show

♪ They loved it,
thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract
back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm,
a dog had signed ♪

♪ FETCH!♪Oh, I like that name.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate

♪ Found six contestants,
all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on
the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show
and its name is... ♪

♪ FETCH!♪

It's very catchy.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman♪

It rolls off the tongue.

Wait, stop.♪ With Ruff Ruffman.♪

Somebody want to tell me
why we got cats singing?

Funding for Fetch with Ruff
Ruffman has been provided by:

The National Science Foundation,
where discoveries begin.

The Arthur Vining
Davis Foundation.

Dedicated to strengthening
America's future through
education.

And by:

And by:

And by contributions to
your PBS station from...

And here come
the contestants now.

Who bought a Venus flytrap
that never ate flies?

Even when wet,
his hair remains curly.

Bobbing for apples
makes her nauseous.

She doesn't like ping-pong,
she loves it.

He's never hurt himself
playing hockey,

except for a broken arm.

She's the founder and CEO
of Yummy Bakery.

Let's get an update
on the scores.

In sixth place with points
we have Taylor.

Julia's still in fifth with .

Noah holding in the four spot
with .

Brian in third with .

Anna has slipped to the two spot
with .

Which means Khalil is in first
with points.

Well, hello,
and welcome to Fetch!,

the new reality game show

that I promise will...
float your boat.

[ chuckling]

Ah, not literally
"float your boat."

Uh, please, people,
do not use this show

to actually float your boat.

So, how are you today, Fetchers?

Good, how about you, Ruff?

I'm soaking wet.
Thanks for asking.

In case you haven't noticed,

I am knee-deep in water.

Yeah, I didn't know

the Fetch had
a swimming pool attachment.

Yeah, it didn't.So what happened?

Well, you know, I was thinking
about what to do

for the show today,
as I always do--

I'm working on and off the set.

Mm-hmm.

And I figured, you know what,

I'm going to run me a bath.

Maybe the good thoughts
come to me.

A lot of good thoughts
come to people in the bathroom.

It's true.Then I said,

well, while the bath's running,

I'll just chill
in the Barcalounger,

see if any thoughts come to me,
relax, do some heavy thinking.

And the heavy thinking
led me to fall asleep,

and the bathtub overflowed.

So here I am.

[ chuckling]

But I'm glad that happened

because it gave me a terrific
idea for today's show.

An exciting, thrilling,
water adventure.

Hmm...

What will it be?

I'll tell you.

Because it is time for...

♪ Dun-dun-dun!

In today's challenge,
you'll be meeting up with Alek.

I've just sent him a message

with more details.

If my knowledge of ocean
currents is correct,

it will reach him
just as he's being met by...

Khalil, Julia and Anna.

Awesome.

Directions to your challenge

are in the mailbox.

Go fetch!

Anna, it's pretty
cold out there.

Good luck, guys.Later.

Take care, my beloved sailors.

All right.

As to determined by
the Fetch ,

Noah, Brian and Taylor
have stayed behind

in the studio this week.

But they'll be eligible to win

points of their own
during the Half-Time Quiz Show.

Now, don't worry,
the 's done all the math,

it's crunched the numbers...

the Fetch fairness guarantee.

All the contestants
will have competed

for the same number of points

by the time the grand prize
is awarded.

[ toy squeaking]Which I'm still working on.

Ruff, come on.
Right, right.

It'll be there, that's all you
need to concern yourselves with.

When will it be there?

When the last episode is here.

When I award it.

Okay.

Probably seconds beforehand.

All right, now, with three kids
out on the challenge,

points are at stake
in the Triumph Tally.

So let's go dockside and catch
up now with our challenge team.

Wait up, Khalil.

This is really slippery.

Hi. Ruff says you know
our challenge.
Yeah.

It's right there.
Cool.
Thanks.
Message in a bottle.

RUFF:
Oh, the bottle made it.

Perfect calculation, Ruff.

Okay.
I'll hold it.
Okay, you got it.

Uh-oh, go, Ruff.

KHALIL:
"Ahoy, mateys.

"Alek's an inventor.

"He invented a very funny boat.

"That's your challenge today.

"You have to build a boat
out of junk.

"The boat needs to float,
be steerable

"and it has to be propelled by
something other than oars.

Ask Alek how things float."

Alek, how do things float?

When you put something
in the water,

there's a force called gravity
pulling down on it.

But in the water,
there's a force

called the buoyant force
that pushes back up on it.

Now if you have a regular
bicycle, like this,

and you throw it in the water,

it sinks because the buoyant
force pushing up on it

is weaker than the gravity
pulling down.

Oh, if you have
a bicycle like this...

Wow.

...and you toss it in
the water...

You invented this?

it's going to float because it
has the boogie boards on it,

which are less dense
than the water,

which means that they
weigh less for their size,

so they help
the entire bicycle to float.

I see a pan in the back
connected to a handlebar.

Is that a rudder to steer it?Yep.

RUFF:
Hey, he used a cookie sheet.

Want to see
how it works?

Yeah, sure.

RUFF:
Hey, where's he going?

Wait! What are you doing?!

[ kids laughing]

RUFF:
Okay.

Alek should get across
the water by next Thursday.

[ laughing]:
Oh, that's awesome.

Think I'm gonna get changed now.

And then my dad can
take us to the dump.
Oh, sure.

RUFF:
Ah, yes, the dump.

Dogs love the dump.

You know what we love
about junkyards?

The only place we can
gnaw on the furniture

and not get yelled at.

Okay. You probably
don't want to use that.

Because that's,
like, really dense.
Yeah.

So maybe we should
go for something,

like, hollow,
filled with air.

Think this tub here would float?

Hey, you guys, it's hollow.

This thing looks
pretty good, you guys.

Look, it's got a flat bottom
for the water to push up on it.

I don't know if
it's possible to get

a pole through here, then have
two things on the side.

Yeah, you can probably
drill through the side.

If we took, like, a shower
curtain bar or something

and put it across...

Want to go check out the other
section?

It's plastic.
It's flexible.

But we could use it,
like, as a rudder.

Oh, yeah.

You guys, this could be, like,
a perfect water wheel,

just push the water.

It wouldn't really
grab a lot of water.Yeah, it's too small.

It would kind of just,
like, turn it up.

Oh, yeah, keep this.Look what I found.

Nice.
This is a perfect axle.

Is there any way we could
chop one of these in half?

ALEK:
You could probably cut

straight down with these
and bend the strips

back to make a pretty good
water wheel.

[ lively classical music plays]

There's a... also
a hockey stick back there.

Think that will be really good
to make a rudder.

RUFF:
Look at all that junk.

Can probably upgrade
the furniture in my studio.

So what do you guys want
to use for the platform?

We definitely picked
that big black...
Yeah.

So this is the black box.

That's a good drawing.

So this is the hollow rod.

Then we can take
the wooden dowel

and then we put the dowel
and put it...

So then we'll have
the two barrels right here.

If you just, like,
make an incision right here,

and then just, like,
bend it right there.

You just fold up

the parts that you cut out.

If it's, like, a profile,
you would be like this,

and then it would be, like,
stick, stick, stick, stick...

[ laughs]:
Just like any other water wheel.

ALL:
One, two, three...

Fetch!

RUFF [ laughs]:
Oh-ho-ho!

I like-y!

RUFF:
Looks like that trunk
is gonna be their boat.

Do you think we should
take off the... ?Yeah.

You can hacksaw it;
at the end of the run,

we'll just yank
the whole thing right out.

RUFF:
That's Alek's dad, Ricky.

Okay...

Kahlil, want to come with me
and go get the barrels?

RUFF:
Now it's time
for the water wheels.

First thing you're
going to have to do

is cut all the way around this
so it's this thick.

We have to cut three fins.

I have the jig off.
Rrr-rrr-rrr.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I found...
this spool-like thing

that we can put right
in the middle here,

and I think the rod

will fit perfectly
in this hole.

That looks good.

RUFF:
Ah, that's looking pretty good.

That's the hole
for the axle?
Yeah.
Yeah.

And now it's time
for the axle.

This teeny little dowel isn't
going to support a gallon...

On end, just like this.

Do you have PVC that's actually
like... bigger?

Yeah.
Yeah, we do.

Those'll be fine without
even counting them.

Those'll be perfect.

We put this long piece of PVC

through the short pieces.

That's perfect 'cause
it'll, it can move around.

Make really sure
it goes straight across.

ALEK:
It looks good.
Now you need to get the drill.

I love power tools.

RUFF:
Why, it fits perfect.

Great.Okay.

For the rudder, we could just
use a flat piece of this.

And now, the rudder.

We need to drill a hole
through the hockey stick...

so it can swing
back and forth.
Okay.

Nowthat
is a good-looking boat.

That was good stuff.

One, two, three...

ALL:
Fetch!

RUFF:
Oh!

That's twice!

I'm done. I like that.

All right, guys,
cheers for the Ruff Seas.

ALL:
Ruff Seas!

RUFF:
TheRuff Seas.

I like a boat
that's named after me.

I think Kahlil should go in.

Do you think so?

Like this?
Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay, Kahlil and Anna
are in the wa... Oh! Oh! Hey!

Hey! Don't move!

Don't! You're tipping it.

Stop rocking!

Don't do that.

[ shrieks]

[ laughing]

Okay.

No! I can't get out.

RUFF:
Oh, no! Kahlil! Oh!

Oh, man.

I'm not going in that thing!

We did it.

It's steerable, it floats,
and it moves.

That's right.
You know what it also does?

It takes on water.

Try getting in the front.
Push it off.

All right, Alek's going
to give it the true test.

He's a little bit
more experienced.

Yes, it's completely unstable.

We have an unstable boat,
says Ricky.

Wherever it goes,
we have to be in it.

It works. It goes forward.

It doesmove.

Yes, it's moving.

It doesfloat.

Right. Sure.

Maybe I can show it steer, too.

Uh-huh.
Can steer, yeah.

No, I can't show it steer.

I think that if we had a little
bit wider of a top, like...

like Alek had on his boat--

he had the boogie boards
sticking out--

I think if we add
boogie boards sticking out,

then we'll be fine.

Here we are back in Studio G.

with Brian, Taylor and Noah.

They're getting ready to earn
some points of their own

during the Half-Time Quiz Show.

Let's brush up on the rules
for the kids and moms at home.

I'm going to ask you
ten questions.

Each question is
worth five points.

You have a possibility
to gain points today.

Now, you have
seconds to answer

as many questions as possible.

Are you ready?Yeah, let's go.

Then let the quiz begin...

Now!

Buoyancy.
Buoyancy.

Correct!
Buoyancy.

Alek.

Alek.
Correct.

Rudder.
Rudder.
Correct!

Say it.
A bicycle?

Uh, uh, boogie boards.Correct.

Who is it?

Julia.

Julia.
Julia.

Correct.

The Ruff Seas.

Correct.
Yes!

Plastic tubs.What color?

Blue.
Blue.
Correct.

Gravity.
Correct.

Oh, we are out of time!

Let's go back over
the question you missed.

Oh, yeah.

To steer it.
A cookie sheet.

Hey, eight out of ten.

That is a total of points.

Nice job, guys.

Congratulations.Thanks.

That brings us to the end
of our halftime trivia quiz.

And so, let's get back to those
intrepid, never-say-die

conquerors of the seas,
Julia, Kahlil

and, uh, oh, hi, guys.

Why are you guys
coming back in?

Hey, we were just about to check
in with you back at the docks.

Make yourself nice and comfy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait a minute!

Wait, you're here.

If we go back to the docks,

you won't be there
because... you're here.

Yeah. About the boat.

It didn't really
work out, you know.

Kahlil fell in,
it was flooding...

It didn't steer, it...

tilted.

So... we're done.

Uh, wow, that's a bummer.
Uh...

There's, there's
still some more show.

You know what? I guess I'll
just check in dockside anyway.

Yeah.

Okay, let's see what that crazy
Ruff Seasis up to now.

Mmm.
Kinda sad.

RUFF:
Interesting.

Uh... yeah.

Yeah. Do you think maybe we
could just, like, redesign it?

You having a little
boatmaker's block?

Yeah.

That's it.

Hey, I've been there.

You know,
when I'm stuck on a problem,

sleeping on it always seems
to do the trick for me.

Yeah, Ruff, do you

think we could just,
you know, sleep on it,

go back to the docks
tomorrow and just,

you know, have
a fresh start?

Well, wait a minute.

I-I meant that for me.

I mean, you can't do that.

Why not?!

Actually, I don't know.
Let me check the, uh...

Fetch!rule book here.

Why is this thing so heavy?

[ kids talking together]

Uh, let's see.

"What to do when

the smoothie
machine breaks..."

Uh... "How to create a show
with a -cent budget."

Well, okay, well,

there's nothing
in the rule book about it.

Yes.
Yeah.

There's nothing in there

that says you can't--

And it would give me a chance

to press this button.

The "Press Only After Granting

Unprecedented Request
From Contestants" button.

Oh, I've always wanted
to press this button.

Okay, let's do it!

Hold on tight, Fetchers.

[ yawning]

Oh, man, that's a
good night's sleep right there.

Coffee.

Thank you,
Fetch .

Soy chai latte.

Oh, very creative, Fetch .

Good stuff.

Oh. Oh, hey!

What's up, Ruff?

Forgot you guys were
coming back this morning.

[ nervous laughter]

Uh, so, where were we?

Oh. Oh, yes, yes.

Let us see
if a good night's sleep

did anything
for our challenge team.

What do you say?

Yeah, let's go.

All right, Fetch .

[ slurping]

Take us away.

Hey, Alek-- we're back.

What isthat, Alek?

Oh, it's a
water-walker.

What are you going
to do with it?

I'm going to get
some clear plastic

and wrap it all around.

I'm sorry. What?

And hopefully be able
to roll in it on the water.

Whoa. That's what he's gonna do?

Way to go, Alek.

Well, yeah, we came back,
because, you know, our boat

floated and it was buoyant,

but it was
tipping all over the place.

We have a couple
of ideas.

So what I think
we should do is...

put, like, a x here...
and a x here,

and make it stick out
beyond the water wheels.

So these things can turn freely.

And then lay
a boogie board here...

and a boogie board here.

It would really stabilize this.

Okay, let's go.

Alek, do you have
a couple of boogie boards?

You might find them
in that shed over there.

How 'bout we show him our design
and see what he thinks.

Do you think
it would work?

Yeah, I think
that it definitely would

because as the boat tips,
it'll make the boogie boards

sink in the water, but
since the boogie board floats,

the water would actually
push back up on it

and help stabilize the boat.

Hey, let's go
check out the shed.

Oh, we only have
three boogie boards.

RUFF:
Isn't that always the case?

You're always
one boogie board short.

You guys need a hand
cutting this wood?
Yeah, we're
gonna need a hand.

Yeah. Why don't you guys
measure everything out

and then, um,
I'll help you cut it.

RUFF:
All right, Ricky's back
with his power tools.

Do you want to just
bolt it on like this?

Sure.

No problem.

That looks pretty sturdy.

It's pretty stable.

I was thinking
of putting

a bolt through here,
but that might not work

You wouldn't want to drill

directly through
the boogie board,

so this piece of wood
doesn't pull right off.

So you make sort of
a sandwich thing.

and drill through both
and scrunch it all together.

All right, we have
three boogie boards.

We can use that one, maybe,
and draw Ruff's picture.

That's a good idea.His nose...

Right. Sure.

Big ears...
Wait.

Not big, because the ears
aren't big or anything.

Uh-huh.

I mean, he can hear well,

but your earlobes aren't...
You know what I mean.

Right. Yeah. It sounds like
you're insulting me, Kahlil,

but I can't hear you
with my small ears.

How's that, Ruff?
Does it look like you?

Uh, if I wear a
mustache, sure.

Yeah, I don't
see why not.

Do you think this works?

I did notice, last time,
the entire thing

was just above
the level of the water.

You think we should
get a longer...?Yeah. Probably.

Ah! So now what they're doing
is making a bigger rudder.

Or at least one
that touches the water.

You think this looks
like enough tape?Looks good to me.

Oh, hey, that kind
of does look like me.

Nice job.

Well, we're about
to test our boat

for the second try.The Ruff Seas.

She's looking
a lot better.

Good. Good.

And we think
it will work

because it spreads
out the weight

and it'll
balance it.

All right.

All right.Okay. Let's go.

Here they are--
three Fetchers...

one boat...

and an ominous body of water.

That's a pretty good sign
is not sink.

Can they float the boat?

Okay, I think you guys
are ready to go.

I'll hold it a little
steady in the water
while you get in.

It's a bit different from
last time, isn't it?

All right,
let's see what happens, guys.

And it looks like...

It works, Ruff.

I'm steering!

Yes! We have a boat
that's not sinking.

They're steering the boat!

They're moving the boat!

Great job!

Hey, Ruff.

Yeah, guys,
that was great!

That was awesome.

[ phone rings]

Hello. Hey, guys, it's me.

Oh, hey, Ruff. Hey, all right! Good job!

But hold off on the celebration.

What? Yes, you guys are going
to be in a race.

The Ruff Regatta!

Going to be right behind you,
so get ready and go.

Let's go.

[ Ruff clears throat over P.A.]

Welcome to the first, and
possibly last, Ruff Regatta.

Thank you all for participating.

This is going
to be an amazing boat race,

where the most amazing sailors
will be competing

for fortune and glory.

Basically, what you guys
are going to do

is you're going to take off
and you're

going to sail down
to that buoy thing

with my picture on it.

Mm, what a charmer.

And you're going to loop around
that good-looking dog,

and you're going to come back.

Now, the first boat
to finish the course

wins the Ruff Regatta!

Sailors ready?ALL:
Yeah.

On your marks,

get set, go!

And they're off.

Julia is steering,
Khalil is paddling.

Other people are using buckets.

That boat is going very fast.

And our boat
is not moving as fast.

And there's somebody swimming
to pull the boat.

The big boat's
already near the buoy.

Julia and Khalil
are somewhere in Denver.

Oh, that thing
is really cooking.

That's not right.

Look at that. They had a sail!

Oh, they get first place.

And second place comes in
to another boat with a sail.

That other boat
isn't going anywhere.

ANNA:
Julia, you've
got to steer.

And third place
goes to the boat

that's being dragged
by a human being.

Then there's a guy on a board.

Oh, now they're breaking
out the paddles.

Oh, Khalil, paddle.

Okay. Oh, man.

Ah! But to the rescue
comes Alek

to lend a hand
to the young Fetchers.

And Khalil with a fine lasso.
Nice job there.

And Alek brings
my young Fetchers back home.

All right, let's finish
this race in good fashion.

[ cheering]

Land! Yes!

Thanks a lot, Alek.

Good job, Alek! Thank you, sir.

See you back in
the garage, Ruff.

It's Studio G!
Not the garage.

And here they come now--

Julia, Anna and Khalil!

Hello. How you doing, ladies?

Did a good night's sleep

help a little bit?

You are a genius, Ruff.

I wasn't going to say it,

but since you said it,

I'll have to say yes.

Genius? Guilty!

All right.

Let's award some points.

Yeah, let's do it.
Awesome.

First of all,
you named the boat after me.

Ruff Seas.

So you hadto know

right away there were
going to be some

points awarded there.

And I got ten for you.

I don't want my name
on just any boat.

This boat's gotta rock.

The boat has got to float,
it has to be stable,

it has to be steerable, and you
got to be able to move it.

Did you do those things?
Let me check.

Yes, yes, yes and, oh, yeah.

It works, Ruff.

Now, then...

Yeah, about the boat,

it didn't really
work out.

You guys came in
at halftime...

So we're done.

...were about to give up,
but a good night's sleep

and here you come back
the next day, it's a nice day,

you build yourself a boat,
it floats, it's great.

For hanging in there,
for not giving up

when the chips were down,

more points.

Anna, you led the design team.

So then we'll have
the two barrels right here.

That's good because, like,
it really stabilizes it.

And that is an important job.

For you,
I give another ten points.

Oh, awesome job, Anna.

Now, I had an additional
points

just ripe for the picking

if you finished first
with the Ruff Seas,

but you didn't.

Oh, now they're breaking
out the paddles.

So I then had five points
for you

if you at least finished
before everybody went home.

That didn't happen either.
Yikes!

So I don't know about that,

but I guess we're done
with the scoring.

Or are we?

What time is it?

ALL:
Bonus points!

And the bonus points today
go to the contestant who plunged

headfirst into his work.

Literally.

Let's tally the total.

Fetch , what do we have?

Julia has points,
Khalil has ,

Anna has !

Anna is today's Daily Winner.

Now, Anna,

as you know,
being the Daily Winner,

the Daily Prize
is yours for the taking.

But, if you like the prize,

it'll be a fluke.

[ crickets chirping]A fluke.

Hi. Is this mike on? All right.

Anyway, Anna, it's your choice.

You can take this fluke
for yourself

or you can give it to one
of your fellow contestants.

What will you do?

I...

I think I'll take it.

Why not?Awesome.

Anna, would you do me a favor

and step to the mailbox
and retrieve your prize?

I'd be delighted.

It's a letter.
Oh, what's it say?

Oh!

Whoa!
Awesome!

I know, and it's courtesy

of your good buddy,
Ruff Ruffman.

So that brings us to the end

of another amazingepisode
of Fetch!with Ruff Ruffman.

Until next time...

Ahoy,

there, matey.

Ahoy, Ruff.

I'll see you next time.

BRIAN:
See you later, Ruff.

Arr...

The Ruff Seasfloats again.

Oh, my, is she yar.

And this time, mark me words,
she won't be defeated.

And go!

The Ruff Seas
has taken the lead.

Ah, she's way ahead!

She's... [ screams]
!
[ meowing]

Where did you come from?

Watch out!

Blast ye, cats!

OK. One last thing. Not only do
I host my own television show,

but I have a fantastic website
too. Check it out!

There are tons of great games
and lots more.

It's like winning a staring
contest with a cat.

[ Ruff scatting]

♪ Fetch!♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman!♪

[ Ruff scatting]

♪ Fetch!♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman!♪

♪ Fetch!♪