06x04 - A Bug's Strife/All the Rage

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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06x04 - A Bug's Strife/All the Rage

Post by bunniefuu »

This program is rated G

and is suitable for
general audiences.

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like
ping-pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the
bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do what he
can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push and shove,
it's how we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy, ten girls, wouldn't
trade it for the world ♪

♪ Loud ♪

♪ House ♪

♪ Loud, Loud House ♪

Poo-poo!



WOMAN: The Mayor said this meeting
was mandatory, it must be important.

I wonder what this
meeting's all about.

I don't know, but I really
hope we get the scoop.

I think they called this meeting

because the town
is under invasion!

Maybe it's even
an alien invasion!

And they're here to
vaporize the planet!

Ehh, sooner the better,
if you ask me.

(Spraying, coughing)

Why would you think this meeting
is all about you, Lola?

Ohh, Linky, please. Do the math!

When hasn't it been
all about me?

MAYOR:
Hello, everyone!

Thank you all for coming.

I'm sure you're wondering
why I called you all here.

Well, I swear, this time,

it's not to show off
a new sound effect.

(Laughing) Okay, just one!

(Lasers blasting)

(Man coughing)

(Clearing throat)
Anyway, we have a special guest

who tells me she has big news
for Royal Woods!

Please welcome Joyce Crandall,

the State Undersecretary of
Water Leisure!

(Scattered applauding)

I'll be in the car.

Thank you, everyone,
for that warm welcome.

As Mayor Davis says,
I do have news.

And boy, is it exciting!

In order to boost state tourism,

I have come up with a big idea.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you

Michigan's sixth Great Lake,
Lake Gladys!

(Audience gasping, murmuring) I
named it after my mom for her birthday.

Didn't have time
to shop for a gift.

This lake will get me promoted

to Over secretary of Water
Leisure. Fingers crossed.

It will be the most
splendid lake ever!

(Gasping) Is that the
Burpin' Burger sign?

Surprise! Lake Gladys
will be located

right here in Royal Woods!

(Gasping, dance music playing)

(Blowing noisemaker)

O-M-gosh, yay us! I love otters!

Me too. They're like the silly
clowns of the lake.

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa,
Crandall,

so you're gonna flood
our whole town?

All for your stinking new lake?

Listen, everybody, I get it.

Having your homes
30 feet underwater,

probably not ideal.
WOMAN: Yeah, totally!

But it's not all bad.

First off, we will
pay you to move,

so "cha-ching" for you, right?

And you'll receive a
one-time-only discount

on water-ski tickets
for Lake Gladys.

LUNA: We don't want
your bogus water-ski tickets!

This isn't fair! CROWD: Yeah!

There's, like, a ton of towns
in Michigan. Why us?

I'm glad you asked.

♪ I've been on a tour of
these Great Lake towns ♪

♪ Every one has
something special ♪

♪ To see or do ♪

♪ And I can assure where we are
right now is... ♪

I've already forgotten.
Remind me... who are you?

♪ Hazeltucky's got the world's
largest frying pan ♪

♪ Beaverton's got
a piranha petting zoo ♪

♪ Fern Valley's got the eldest
living long-tailed weasel ♪

♪ And an entire tire
Arc de Triomphe, who knew? ♪

♪ These towns are meant for
sticking around ♪

♪ But there's nothing
holding your town down ♪

♪ You'll never be great,
you'll never be fab ♪

♪ This place is just too beige
and way too blah ♪

♪ It's time for something new ♪

♪ Something memorable,
not terrible ♪

♪ You're too long
a drive from incredible ♪

♪ Don't remind me 'cause I
already forgot ♪

♪ About you ♪

(Growling angrily)

What about Sandy Flats?

Yeah, more like Sandy Farts!
(Laughing)

But it's got that Museum of
Chicken Parts.

Well, we can't be any worse
than Patoski Falls!

I got my nails done at one
of their shopping malls.

♪ I've seen all
I needed to see ♪

♪ And you can't
escape your destiny ♪

Come on, everyone,
you know the words!

No? Just me? All right!

♪ You'll never be great,
you'll never be fab ♪

♪ This place could use a change,
so let me take a s*ab ♪

♪ We need something brand-new ♪

♪ Something memorable,
not terrible ♪

♪ You'll be one swim closer
to incredible ♪

♪ In oh-so many ways ♪
♪ (Oh-so many ways) ♪

♪ We need one more Great Lake ♪

♪ Don't remind me 'cause
I've already forgotten ♪

♪ About you! ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Bow-bow, bow-bow-bow-bow! ♪

Jazz hands!
(Exploding)

(Gasping, groaning)

Well, folks, it's been fun.

My demolition team
and I will be back

to break the Royal Woods
dam in a few days.

(Wailing)

Come on, cheer up!
Think of it like this.

Someday, we'll all be able to
laugh about this.

(Laughing)
I'm laughing now.

(Laughing)

(Chuckling) Okay. Well, yeah,
that's it. I should go.

(Cross talking angrily)

I tell ya, this Joyce
lady's got me so steamed,

I could just bust!

(Growling angrily)

Hey, Nacho here says there's
gotta be some way

to stop the lake thingy.

(Sighing) But it's like that
city gal said.

We ain't got nothin' remarkable
like a big ole' frying pan

or meat-eatin' fishies.

MAN: Well, what... what
are we supposed to do?!

WOMAN:
Unremarkable? I live here!

WOMAN 2: Oh, my! MAN
2: We don't have anything!

MAN 3:
Our town is doomed!

Hey, that's it!
I've got an idea!

Guys, help lift me
up on Vanzilla.

I know how to save our town!

(Grunting)

(Chattering angrily)
Hey, everyone!

(Chattering continuing)
Hello!

Hello, Lincoln. Perhaps I
could be of assistance?

Lisa recently upgraded me

with a PA system.

Thanks, Todd! Hey, everyone!

(Chattering continuing)
If I could have your attention?

Maybe Royal Woods is
forgettable,

but it doesn't have
to stay that way.

We could have something
like those other towns,

something to put us on the map.

Then Joyce wouldn't
flood our town!

Lincoln, that's brilliant!

But what could we create

that would make
Royal Woods seem memorable?

I bet if we put our heads
together,

we can come up with
something amazing!

So who's ready to save our town?

(All cheering)

Whoa! Honorary Junior Mayor?

Thanks, Mayor Davis!

It's the least I can do, since
you're helping to save the town.

So do I get to play
your keyboard?

(Buzzing)
Don't push it, kid!

(Laughing) Okay! Time to hear
ideas to save Royal Woods.

First up are Cheryl
and Meryl Farrell.

BOTH:
Howdy!

Meryl and I thought we could put
Royal Woods on the map

with the world record for the
longest boot-scootin'!

Hit it, sis!

(Country music playing)

Whoa!
Yee-haw!

Uh-huh!

(Cheering)

Whoa!

Come on!
(Unclear)!

Come on!

What better way to make a town
stand out

than to have its
own official sport?

We give you... Rollercage
Fighting Derby!

(Shouting, laughing)

We'll make Royal Woods the
levitation capital of the world.

(Gasping)

(Shouting in panic,
phone ringing)

Hello?
Oww!

Sorry, wrong number.
Goodbye.

(Discordant notes playing,
bleating)

Hoo-wee! Go, Carol-Ann!

Show me another town with a
classically-trained goat.

(Discordant playing continues)

(Bleating)

I think we've seen almost
everybody in town!

And not one decent pitch!

Oh, my stomach is still
quivering from the levitation.

(Mournful horn playing)

Don't worry, Mayor. There has
to be someone out there

with a good idea.
You got that right, chief!

It so happens the ol'
Flipperooni

knows how to save
the town's bacon!

Ha! No offense, but I doubt

whatever's in that
(Unclear) box will help us.

Don't be so sure.

Michigan, get ready for the
world's largest flippy!

(Gasping, laughing)

Flip, you're a genius!

(Crowd chattering)

Thanks for coming out,
everybody.

And shout-out to Leni for my
"Man With a Plan" hardhat.

I call it construction couture.

Okay, Flip, we need
your flippy recipe now.

Well, it's in
a top-secret location,

so you all shut
your gawkin' peepers!

Hey, bring Daddy the recipe.

(Groaning) Huh?

What? But you were just...

Okay, everybody, on three.

One, two, three!

ALL:
Save! Our! Town!

♪ Flip, flip, flip, flip,
flip, flip-flippy ♪

♪ It's a flip, flip, flip, flip,
flip, flip-flippy ♪

♪ It's a flip, flip-flippy,
it's our famous frozen treat ♪

♪ Take a sip, sip-sippy,
it'll knock you off your feet! ♪

♪ Don't ask us what it's made
of, it's a flippy mystery ♪

♪ But we're gonna build the
biggest one ♪

♪ In all of history ♪

♪ It's a flip, flip, flip, flip,
flip, flip-flippy ♪

♪ It's a flip, flip, flip,
flip, flip, flip-flippy ♪

♪ Gotta see it to believe it,
piled high up to the sky ♪

♪ The brain freeze is (Unclear),
and open up wide! ♪

♪ Flip, flip-flippy! ♪

(Laughing)

Donna, darling, once I get these
little townies out of here,

the Governor will see just how
well I get things done.

And then, Over secretary of
Water Leisure will be ours!

(Laughing)

Undersecretary Crandall,
thanks for coming!

I hope this is good.

I had to leave a meeting
to pick the fish

to stock Lake Gladys with.

Spoiler alert, we are definitely
leaning toward carp.

Actually, we think you might
just change your mind

about flooding our town.
I'm sorry, but like

I told you before, there is
nothing that can chan...

That's... that's...

The world's largest flippy!

Ha! What do you think
about them apples, huh?

To be clear, it's not apple.

It's actually
Sparkleberry Cherry.

Well, it is as big
as the frying pan,

and less dangerous
than the piranhas.

(Groaning) I guess there's no
way we can put a lake here now.

The flooding is off.

(All cheering)

(Ominous rumbling)

(Shouting in panic)

(Gasping)
Flip! What's going on?

Uhh... hey, flippy
syrup ain't cheap!

I figured no one would drink it.

Ahh!
What did you do, old man?!

I may have swapped the syrup
with some expired gasoline

that wasn't selling.
Is that really so bad?

Short answer, yes.

The gasoline is adversely
reacting

with my hyperfreeze additive,

causing an accelerated release
of energy,

resulting in expanded volume.

(Booming)

In layman's terms,
it's gonna blow.

(Screaming)

(Exploding)

(Grunting)

(Shouting angrily)

I will be back tomorrow at 10:00
AM with the demolition team!

Royal Woods is history!

(Metal groaning)
Huh?

You crushed my car! Ahh!

Donna! Make that 9:00 AM!

Goodbye, Royal Woods!

(Sobbing) I'm sorry, everyone!

The world's largest flippy
flopped!

(Squawking angrily)

Of course I regret
using expired gas, Nacho!

How can you ask me that?

LINCOLN:
Wait, everyone!

I have a new idea
that might save our town.

Where's Todd?
I believe in you, Lincoln.

Lincoln! Lincoln!
Lincoln! Lincoln!

Linc... ohh, we're not
doing that.

Undersecretary Crandall said
Royal Woods is history.

(Sobbing) Why would you
remind us of that?!

What if Royal Woods did have
some kind of important history?

Then she couldn't flood us.
(Clearing throat) Elder brother,

might I remind you
that Royal Woods

has no interesting history.

We were named after
an oak tree. That one.

I know, but Undersecretary
Crandall doesn't.

Royal Woods has the
word "Royal" in it,

maybe there's something there?

I know we'd be
making up a big lie,

but it's the only way
to save our town.

(Muttering)

I don't know.
Is Santa gonna see?

Well, I say we do it!
For the town!

The Mayor's on board, y'all!

So is Flip!

Ohh, we're in like a mamma hen.

Let's save Hazeltucky!

Lincoln! Lincoln!

Still not a thing. Okay.

(Birds calling)

(Rumbling)



I am never gonna let anyone
hurt you again, Donna.

Let's do this! This way, folks!

(Engines revving)

(Gasping) There's the
demolition team!

Katherine Mulligan is
here to get the scoop!

(Chuckling nastily)
Huh?

A good morrow upon you,
Lady Undersecretary Crandall.

Move this horse, kid, you're
supposed to be packing.

Oh, I don't think
anyone's going anywhere.

You see, Secretary,

you left in such a rush
yesterday,

we never got the
chance to tell you

about Royal Wood's famous
history.

What history?

A very rich and
very real history

that prevents you
from flooding us.

That sounds fishy to me.

If thine ears do
not believeth me,

allowth me to take you on an
official Royal Woods tour!

You can seeith for yourself.
Come on!

Fine! As long as you stop
talking like that.

No problem. It all started
with the royal visit

from King George III
back in the 1700s.

He loved our town so much,
he named it Royal Woods.

♪ This is Royal Woods,
a joyful neighbourhood ♪

♪ Rich with history ♪

♪ To help write the future,
you must learn about the past ♪

♪ Royal Woods, the loyal 'hood,
a history that's sure to last ♪

♪ It's residential,
yet essential ♪

♪ And it's pretty Presidential ♪

♪ And the potential is immense ♪

♪ Once you learn all its
credentials ♪

♪ King George was hungry
and his horse was acting up ♪

♪ So uncontrollably he galloped
to ye olde bison hut ♪

♪ They packed his pork a la
Normand and some barley gruel ♪

♪ They threw him
a package to go sack ♪

♪ Inventing
the first drive thru ♪

♪ Even our teeth had crowns
(They knew for centuries) ♪

♪ Whatever
the Founding Fathers found ♪

♪ So many memories ♪

♪ And now we fight
to stand our ground ♪

♪ You might wanna
keep us around ♪



♪ Sir KG's tummy
was a-turnin' left and right ♪

♪ He knew
something was brewin' ♪

♪ He was puttin' up a fight ♪

♪ He stopped at a hut
'cause he couldn't hold it in ♪

♪ So technically a royal butt ♪

♪ Founded the rest stop
for the win ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ All you gotta do
is have a look ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Don't matter
in what history book ♪

♪ The hometown pride resides
in every son and daughter ♪

♪ A telltale sign that
we should not be underwater ♪

♪ From moments lost and found,
(His way will make you see) ♪

♪ They made this place
what it is now ♪

♪ (So just believe with me)
We can't forget about a town ♪

♪ This sprout,
you might wanna keep us around ♪

Oh, I got this one brother.

(Clearing throat)

♪ Yo, yo, yo,
so, my G-man ♪

♪ He really felt like sleepin',
his belly done creepin' ♪

♪ He traded his crown
just to lie down ♪

♪ And finally got some zee's
in the first hotel ♪

♪ Motel, 18th century inn ♪

♪ We're well-versed
second to none ♪

♪ And first
is how we've always been ♪

♪ No one could do without
(So many victories) ♪

♪ A place to breathe,
release, lie down ♪

♪ When duty callin' me ♪

♪ Just can't forget
about us now ♪

♪ You might wanna
keep us around ♪

♪ Around, around ♪

♪ Keep us around ♪

♪ Around, around ♪

♪ Keep us around ♪

♪ Around, around ♪

♪ Keep us around ♪

♪ Around, around ♪

♪ Keep us around ♪

This is King George's crown.

He traded it
as payment for his stay.

Wow, I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but there actually seems to be
a lot of history here.

Looks like I can't
flood your town after all.

(Cheering)
Yes!

Maybe I can give this
to my mother

as a birthday gift instead.

Huh?
What's this?

No, actually, we need that back.

It's on loan from the,
uh, Royal Woods Museum.

Not so fast, kid.
Hm.

(Gasping)

You all made
this whole thing up!

King George never
came through here.

(Laughing nervously)
I'll take that.

(Growling)
Bring that wrecking ball.

We've got
a sixth Great Lake to make.

I guess it's time
to say goodbye to Royal Woods.

Aw, sure will miss the farm.

Remember that time me and Ma

threw a piglet shower
for Virginia?

I bought her
a double-wide stroller.

I met my best friend
in this town.

It was right over there.

Wait a minute.

Lincoln got an idea.
Please tell me you do, man.

You bet your tin can butt, Todd.

It's stainless steel,
but thank you for noticing.

Undersecretary Crandall,
you can't flood Royal Woods.

Ooh, the white haired kid's
not giving up.

Get this on camera.

We may not have a famous past.

Some would even
call it unremarkable.

But to us,
our history is remarkable.

And it's the people,
and friendships, and memories

that make Royal Woods
worth saving.

♪ Like a forest
that's born from one tree ♪

♪ Royal Woods
is much more than you see ♪

♪ Though it's
averagely marginal ♪

♪ We think it's remarkable ♪

♪ Filled with our own history ♪

♪ Every moment,
every memory ♪



♪ That tree ahead's
where I first read ♪

♪ Ace Savvy comics
in my underwear ♪

♪ And I first benched
a hundred pounds ♪

♪ When I was two ♪

♪ And these hand prints here
remind me every year ♪

♪ As we stuck our kids
and pets in wet cement ♪

♪ And here's
the window you broke ♪

♪ And the baseball
that you threw ♪

♪ Here's where I first learned
how to ride a bike ♪

♪ And where aliens abducted us
and, boy, were they nice ♪

♪ I was busted here
for speeding ♪

♪ This stump was here
for all my speeches ♪

♪ Stump life for life ♪

♪ 'Cause we're right,
we're right, we're right ♪

♪ Where we belong ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da,
ba-ba-da ♪

♪ Royal Woods is our hood
gotta keep it goin' strong ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da,
ba-ba-da ♪

♪ It's the memories
that made us ♪

♪ Moments that gave us
everything we'd ever want ♪

♪ So we're right,
we're right, we're right ♪

♪ Where we belong ♪



♪ We have so much fun
at our morticians' club ♪

♪ It's home to Mr. Coconuts
and Mrs. Apple blossom ♪

♪ And we'll never forget
the crosswalk where we met ♪

♪ The bowling alley where
Sam and I had our first gig ♪

♪ Auntie Pam's Parlour
for banana splits ♪

And did you know Royal Woods
is also abundantly rich

in copper, nickel,
iron, platinum?

Not to mention it's sitting on
a very large oil deposit.

You could've
mentioned that earlier?

♪ 'Cause we're right,
we're right, we're right ♪

♪ Where we belong ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da,
ba-ba-da ♪

♪ Royal Woods is our hood,
gotta keep it goin' strong ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da,
ba-ba-da ♪

♪ It's the memories
that made us ♪

♪ Moments that gave us
everything we'd ever want ♪

♪ So we're right,
we're right, we're right ♪

♪ Where we belong ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da,
ba-ba-da-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da,
we're right where we belong ♪

That was a beautiful song,

but I'm still gonna
bust this dam and flood you.

What?
(Crowd gasping)

CONSTRUCTION WORKER:
Well, we're not!

That kid with the
white hair is right!

This town is special,
and so is my town.

And so is mine.

No town deserves
to be flooded by you.

Get your promotion
some other way, Crandall.

We don't want a sixth lake.

(Growling)
You bunch a babies.

(Grunting)

Come on, Donna.
We'll do it ourselves.

I don't know.

Might not be the best look

to flood a precious
small town on live television.

This is Katherine Mulligan

covering the destruction
of my town in HD.

(Nervously laughing)

I mean... I-I would never
flood this beautiful town.

Hi, Mom.
Happy birthday.

(Phone ringing)

TODD:
Call for you.

WOMAN: Joyce? This
is the Over secretary.

I saw everything.

Bulldozing a perfectly good
town on live TV?

You're fired!

(Gasping)
Argh!

There, there.

Don't touch me.

Yes!
We did it!

Royal Woods is saved!

(Crowd cheering)
You did it, Stinkin'!

O-M-gosh, Lincoln.
You're a hero.

Yeah, thanks, Loud.
Way to go.

I'm just glad
we can all stay, 'cause...

♪ We're right,
we're right, we're right ♪

♪ Where we belong ♪

♪ Ba-ba-da ♪

Put a cork in it!
(Growling)

What is it with you people
and your impromptu singing?

(Growling)

♪ We're right where we belong ♪

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee,
never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪
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