05x10 - Zach att*ck/Flying Solo

[bunniefuu]

This program is rated G

and is suitable for
general audiences.

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping-pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over
laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you
can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive! ♪

♪ In the Loud House!
In the Loud House! ♪

♪ Duck, dodge,
push and shove ♪

♪ It's how
we show our love! ♪

♪ In the Loud House!
In the Loud House! ♪

♪ One boy, ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade
it for the world! ♪

♪ Loud! House!
Loud! Loud House! ♪

Poo-poo!

♪

[Zach snoring]

-[alarm beeping]
-[Zach] Aah!

Hah!

[computer beeping]

Today's the day!

[school bell ringing]

And how long has
it been that colour?

Guys! They're coming,
they're coming!

Zach, for the last time,

Big Foot
and the Abominable Snowman

are not coming for you.

Agree to disagree,
but right now,

I'm talking about
an alien spaceship!

I've been doing
the calculations.

Every years,
months, weeks and days,

there have been
alien fly-by sightings.

So, in honour
of the occasion,

I'm having a
[incoherent mechanical garbling]

Yes, awesome!
I don't know what that is.

That's alien language
from the Kluvarious galaxy.

Human translation,
"Full-on rager!"

Alien fly-by? Haha! Count
me in. I can't wait to say,

"I told you so"
when there's no UFO.

Also, his mom
makes really good cookies.

Uh, Zach, are you sure
this party is a good idea?

Positive.
I've been talking about aliens

since I could talk,
and now's my chance to prove

to everyone that they're real.
Who's in?

-I'm here!
-I'm here for you. buddy!

-Me too!
-I'll supply the tunes.

I knew I could
count on you guys.

This party's
going to be [garbling].

Uh...epic?

Sick!

♪

What time is this
alien ship supposed to fly by?

It's been two hours,

and how much longer
is Rusty going to play

that French horn?

[discordant blaring]

I don't get it.

Could I have
gotten the day wrong?

[Ms. Gurdle]
Hey, what's that?

Guys, look,
there it is, there's the ship!

Looks like the aliens
are sending us a message.

♪

Aah.

[chuckling]
Hey, Gurdle, told you so!

That felt good.

-I told you this wasn't real.
-I knew it.

[annoyed crosstalk]

[gasping]

[blaring]

Rusty,
you've got to help me!

I thought you'd never ask.

My cousin, Derek, can
hook you up with a new identity

and get you on
a bus to the Poconos.

What?! No, no, no, listen.
I know aliens are real

but if no spaceship
appears tonight,

no one will
ever believe me again.

I've got an idea,
but I need your help.

Fine, but
the horn comes too. Aah!

Okay, all you've got to
do is shine this flashlight

out the window, like this.

The alien ship will
be projected in the sky.

Everyone will see it,
get blown away,

and all the doubters
will stop doubting.

Pssh, I thought you were going
to give me a hard job, bro.

Relax,
the Rust Man's got this.

Uh...

Guys, look! The alien ship!

[all gasping]

Well, Chandler,
I told you so.

Huh,
that does feel good.

[kids gasping]

[Rusty chanting]

Rusty, dude,
what are you doing?

You were just
supposed to do a quick fly-by.

I'm giving
the crowd a show,

and by the sound of those
cheers, they are eating it up.

Well,
it's time to end the show.

We don't want
people getting suspicious.

Rusty!
Ugh, give it back!

No!

[thwacking]

[loud gasping]

Did you just see that?

It looks like
the alien ship went down

in Tall Timbers Park.

[Mr. Gurdle]
You're right, Clyde.

Come on, party people.

We're going to
search for the aliens.

-[kids cheering]
-[kids] Let's go!

Uh, are we sure
about this?

Maybe we should
just stay here.

I mean, uh,
the aliens could be dangerous.

Are you kidding?

This is what we've been
waiting for our whole lives,

a chance to meet aliens!

I've got extra flashlights!

And don't worry,

I've got intergalactic
visitor welcome cookies!

Scientific fact,
aliens love coconut.

Hehe, right.

♪

[overlapping chattering]

Uh, isn't this the spot?

I'm afraid this
can only mean one thing.

Yep, the aliens
returned to their planet.

Now, who wants to
go back to the house

and hear Rusty
play the French horn?

[blaring]

Not so fast, son.

Clearly,
the ship has evaporated

and the aliens
have taken human form.

[screaming]

According to all
the scientific journals

I've read about body snatching,
aliens only do that

when they're
preparing to att*ck.

[frightful gasping]

Not even my coconut
cookies can stop that!

Everyone, spread the word.

The aliens are among us!

[all shrieking]

Dang bro,
you really messed up this one.

Argh, this is really bad,
what am I going to do?

This is Catherine Mulligan
reporting live

from the streets
of Royal Woods,

where people
have one question.

Do aliens walk among us?

Ah, young man, Catherine
Mulligan, Royal Woods News.

Do you believe
there are extraterrestrials

in Royal Woods?

Yes! I mean no,
I mean, uh, I have to go.

Well, that incredibly
suspicious little boy

has me convinced.

[screaming] The aliens
are coming for us all!

Zachary,
quit dilly dallying!

We need to scan everyone

in a six-mile
radius before dark.

Right. Mom, Dad, there's
something I need to tell you.

Um, I need to stop
at the Food n Fuel,

I need, uh,
batteries for my alien scanner

that just d*ed.

Great, Flip needs
to be scanned anyway.

[angered chattering]

Mayor Davis,
what are you going to do

about the aliens?

Yeah, when will we find
out who they're inhabiting?

When they come to eat us?

Daddy, I don't want
to be alien food.

Don't you fret, Sugar.

You're not going
to be alien food.

They're just going
to take over your brain

like a little
'ol remote-controlled car.

[whimpering]

Kid, they can't
take over your brain

if they can't get to it.
Get your alien protective gear,

it's only bucks a pop!

Uh-uh, you just want us
to put those on our heads

so you can read
our brains better

because you're an alien.

Yeah, I bet you
two gals are the aliens,

probably hiding your
tentacles in those big beehives.

How do I know you two
aren't the aliens?

That's impossible,

because we have
technology blocking liners

in our clothes
that make us immune

to alien body snatching.

That's exactly
what an alien would say!

[loud chanting]

I've got to stop this!

♪

So, all of this alien
hysteria is totally my fault.

I just wanted
everyone to believe,

but it turned
into a huge mess.

I need your help to fix it.

[crickets chirping]

Don't worry,
I got your back.

Derek, it's Rusty.
It's time for Operation Poconos.

What? No! I have a plan,
and if we do it right,

no one will ever have
to find out that I lied.

So, will you guys help me?

[kids] Sure! Totally! Heck Ya!

[sighing]
Bailing you out again.

Derek,
I'll call you back later.

What kind of plan
were you thinking, Zach?

[rousing music]

[metal rattling]

♪

[wind whooshing]

♪

I've located the aliens
and their ship

at Tall Timbers Park.
They're about to take off.

Why should we believe you?

See for yourselves!

[woman]
Hah! That boy is right!

Come on, follow me!

♪

Look!

♪

[gasping]

[mechanical warbling]

Huh? What did they say?

Don't worry, everyone,
I can translate.

They have
a message for us.

[beep-bopping]

The aliens said
that, um,

they're heading back
to their home planet.

They're sorry
for causing trouble,

they just came here
for my mom's cookies.

♪

Aha!

[chomping]

[beeping]

♪

[groaning]

[gasping]

Phew!

Ohh!

[branch creaking]

[thudding]

[screaming]

Ow!

[loud gasping]

The aliens
changed their minds,

they're going to eat us!

Wait, no!
That's not true.

They just, uh,
ate too many cookies,

and, uh, they have to wait
minutes before takeoff.

The kid doesn't know
what he is talking about.

Let's get 'em
while they're down!

[chanting]

Wait, stop!
Don't get too close.

Uh, they're radioactive,
and if you touch them...

♪

ah, what am I doing?
They're not real aliens.

This whole thing is a fake.

Zachary, what did you do?

I promised my classmates

they'd see
an alien ship fly by,

and when it didn't happen,
I staged one.

I never meant for things
to get out of control.

[cloth tugging]

[Rusty]
A little help?

Oh, honey.

Look, I know aliens exist,
and one day,

I'm going to
prove it to all of you,

but this was
the wrong way to go about it,

and I'm truly sorry.

[disappointed mumbling]

[footsteps]

Hey, Gurdle,
my mouth is getting tired

from all these
"I told you so"s.

Hold on, ya'll, look.

[amazed chattering]

[man]
Holy cow!

Yes,
I knew they were real!

[Rusty] I never doubted you
for a second, bro.

We're still looking
at aliens, right?

Hey, Chandler,
got anything to say?

Or is your
mouth too tired?

[groaning]

♪

Whoa!

[chuckling] As long
as those knuckleheads

keep believing
in little green men,

old Flip's gonna
keep making big green cash.

Cha-ching!

♪

[overlapping vocalising]

Alright, treble-makers,
it's Glee Club, time.

[slurping]

Aah! Oh wow,
wild cherry indeed.

Rick, control yourself.

Okay, everyone,
practice is about to begin.

[slurping]

Ow! Once I recover
from this brain freeze. Ow!

[door slamming]

Guys, being a treble-maker is--

♪ The best part of my day! ♪

Yeah, I still
can't believe Zach, Rusty,

and Stella chose
home-ec with Mr. Bolhofner.

Well, Rusty thought
they'd get to eat cookies

all the time.

Today, we're going to learn

how to make
cricket cheesecake.

I was once stuck
miles up the Amazon,

but I still
ate like a king.

[all groaning]

Now today,
we are going to dive

into the big number
for the district competition.

If we nail this performance,
we move onto Regionals.

First up, auditions
for the solo. So, dazzle me!

[slurping]

Oh, brain freeze! Aah!

[door slamming]

Ooh, the solo, I've been
practicing for the audition

for a month.

You're going
to do great, buddy.

Meanwhile, I b*at the final
villain in Muscle Fish,

so it was a big month
for both of us.

Ah, I hope those
private singing lessons pay off.

That was a long drive
to Cleveland every weekend.

On the bright side,
it did give me time to listen

to "Leon Cavaratti's Guide

to Improving
Your Vocal Chords!"

[spraying]

♪ In this herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

Oh, was I off there?
I can't be off.

My aunts are flying
in from the Canary Islands

just to see me sing
in the show.

No, no, you were fine,
but maybe, try it like this.

♪ In this herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

Did you know he had
the voice of an angel?

[sniffling]

Who sang that?!

Whoa!

[thumping]

Cancel the auditions!

Lincoln, you have to sing
the solo.

Your beautiful voice
melted my brain freeze,

and my heart.

Whoa, Mr. Budden,
slow down.

I wasn't even trying out,

and there are
great singers

who have been
practicing for months

and whose aunts are flying
in from the Canary Islands

as we speak!
Shouldn't they audition?

Well, That would be
the fair thing to do,

but not this time.
Let's begin!

Clyde, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know
that was going to happen.

Yeah. No one did.
Who could've seen that coming?!

Are we sure this
isn't a bad dream?!

I mean, it's a good dream,
'cause this is all gooood!

Are you sure you're okay
with me singing the solo?

'Cause you never
say good like that.

[twinkling]

Nope, totally cool.

[smacking]

Cleo, Ti-Ti,
I need my sous-chefs!

[meowing]

Time to bake away the blues,

and based
on the day I had,

we're gonna need at
least eight batches of focaccia.

I just can't believe it!
I worked so hard for that solo!

I even had minor surgery!
Then Lincoln waltzes in,

sings a few notes,
and steals it from me!

I know he didn't mean to,
but still,

Lincoln spent the last month
playing video games

while I'm still recovering
from epiglottis enlargement!

What am I supposed to tell
Aunt Hap and Aunt Hoda?!

It's not fair! I'm the right
treble-maker to lead us

to the Regionals!

Wait, maybe I still can.

What if Lincoln
somehow loses his voice,

and I have to heroically
step in?

Lincoln doesn't
have the training I have,

bet he doesn't
even know

he should
be resting his voice!

-[timer ringing]
-Oh!

[splashing]

[groaning]

[slurping]

Okay, Action News Team,
check your teeth,

you're on in five!

Hey, I have a fun idea.

Why don't we sing
the news today?

It'll be extra practice
and we can share

your new found
gift with the world!

Um... I...

♪ Good morning,
kangar-oo-oos! ♪

♪

Hey guys, anyone up for
a little lunch time karaoke?

Why?

For fun, Stella!
Lincoln, you go first.

I think you
know this classic jam.

♪ jars of jam
on the wall ♪

♪ jars of jam ♪

♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

♪ jars of jam
on the wall ♪

♪ jars of jam
on the wall ♪

♪ jars of jam ♪

♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

♪ No more jars
of jam on the wall ♪

Ah, finally.

One more time!

[thumping]

♪

I got your text.
What's the emergency?

Are you having
another panic att*ck

about your retirement?

Worse,
I'm just missing my BFF.

I thought
we could catch up

while I'm buffing
the floors for extra credit.

So, tell me
about your day.

-Well--
-[buffer roaring]

[loudly]
It's been okay.

Rusty dropped his
survival brick on his foot!

And I had to
take him to the nurse.

[loudly]
Fascinating, tell me more!

♪

Hey, Lincoln,
what's with the whiteboard?

[squiggling]

[Clyde speaks words on screen]

[gasping]

What are we going to do?!

Well, I could try to
carry on in Lincoln's footsteps.

I do know all
the words to the solo.

[tinkling]

I guess that'll have to do,

but district competition
is tomorrow night.

Come on, everyone,
let's start rehearsals!

♪

Yes!

Treble-makers,
the home-ec club

is making your costumes
for tomorrow.

They're here to
gather inspiration.

I say we go bold
with feathers and jeggings.

I would never let
anyone take my measurements.

Wouldn't want
a record of me listed anywhere.

Ugh, why don't we
start rehearsals now?

[footsteps]

[tinkling]

♪ If you're
feeling out of sorts ♪

♪ And everything
has gone awry ♪

♪ If you think
you've lost your way ♪

♪ Well, there's no
need to sit and cry ♪

♪ In this herky-jerky world,
you should-- ♪

Aah!

[thudding]

Sorry, I'm still getting
the hang of these wires!

[groaning]

♪ In this herky-jerky world,
you shouldn't need to--♪

What comes next?

Whoa!

[thudding]

[groaning]

Stop, stop!

Okay fine, let's just,

let's just forget about
the flying element for now

and, practice on the ground.

[rope ripping]

-[groaning]
-[Paula] Wasn't me!

♪ If you think
you've lost your way ♪

♪ Well, there's no
need to sit and cry ♪

♪ In this
herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

D'oh!

[screaming]

Cut! Stop!

Why don't we practice
the solo standing still?

With no disco ball.

[bass voice]
♪ In this herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

Nope. Wrong octave.

[hastened]
♪ In this herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

Nope, wrong tempo.

[faster]
♪ In this herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

No! Wrong key!

♪ In this
herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

Nope, nope, no!

You are k*lling me, McBride!

Oh, where's my Flippy?

[slurping]

Aah! Yikes.

Sorry, guys. This solo
is trickier than I thought.

Uh, let's just
call it a day.

I'll see you all
tonight at the show.

♪

Man, I wish
I hadn't invited my ex.

We'll never get
back together now.

[sighing] We're definitely
going to lose tonight,

and it's all my fault.

Why'd I have to
sabotage Lincoln's angel voice?

What a selfish
jerk I've been.

[tinkling]

Maybe, it's not too late
to make this right.

♪

[knocking]

Hey, Lincoln,
listen, we need to talk.

I've been a bad friend.

I wanted to sing
that solo so badly,

the lessons in Cleveland,

my great aunts Hap and Hoda,
my epiglottis,

it was a lot of pressure,

so I purposely pushed
you to lose your voice.

[squeaking]

"Gasp!"
I know, I'm so sorry.

I was just jealous of how
naturally talented you are.

But I'm working on that.

♪

[squeaking]

Thanks, Lincoln.
I appreciate that.

Listen, we all
need you to come back,

I'm terrible as the soloist.

We need you,
and your angel voice.

Before you ask how...

When you listen to
"Leon Cavaratti's Guide

to Improving Your Vocal Chords"
for a whole month,

you pick up some tips.

[Leon]
Jumping on a trampoline

will strengthen
your pelvic floor.

Whoa!

[Lincoln grunting]

[Leon] Got to keep
your throat strong

by gargling salted water.

Just keep on
gargling, Lincoln.

[gargling]

How's the voice?

[splashing]

[screaming]

[Leon]
Breathing steam helps

the irritated
vocal folds stay moist.

Okay Lincoln,
more minutes should do it.

[thudding]

[ambient din]

♪

Where is my soloist?

[gasping]

Wait, really?
Don't tease me, Lincoln!

I am a fragile man.

Don't worry.
This is for real.

-Lincoln is singing the solo!
-Eep!

Your costumes are ready!

[scuffling]

Uh, what is this?

We decided to go
with survivalist chic!

It was Zach
and Mr. Bolhofner's idea.

Oh, whatever.
Two minutes to curtain, people.

[slurping]

You ready
to do this, buddy?

Well, Leon's a master,
but my voice still isn't %.

I'm going
to need some backup.

-[gasping]
-You got it, bu-uud!

Wait, you do mean me, right?

[audience chattering]

♪

♪ If you're feeling
out of sorts ♪

♪ And everything
has gone awry ♪

♪ If you think
you've lost your way ♪

♪ Well, there's
no need to sit and cry ♪

♪ In this
herky-jerky world ♪

♪ You shouldn't
need to say goodbye ♪

♪ I'm sure
I can fly twice as high ♪

♪ If I know
you're my ally! ♪

♪

Yes, yes, yes!
This was my vision.

-[splashing]
-Woohoo!

♪ Together
we're in harmony-- ♪

[thudding]

[Paula] Wasn't me!

♪

♪♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House
(Loud House) ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee,
never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

[upbeat music]