05x13 - Rumor Has It/Training Day

[bunniefuu]

This program is rated G

and is suitable for
general audiences.

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping-pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over
laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you
can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive! ♪

♪ In the Loud House!
In the Loud House! ♪

♪ Duck, dodge,
push and shove ♪

♪ It's how
we show our love! ♪

♪ In the Loud House!
In the Loud House! ♪

♪ One boy, ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade
it for the world! ♪

♪ Loud! House!
Loud! Loud House! ♪

Poo-poo!

[intense ac♪ion music]

This field trip's
gonna be awesome!

So, what do you do
at a rock quarry?

Oh, it's a hoot!
You dig for rocks!

And kick rocks! Oof!

And throw rocks at other rocks!

Then, when you're all worn out,

you just hang out
and look at rocks.

Yeah!

[small giggle]

I wonder where Clyde is.

[car horn honking]

[gasp]

Ugh, sorry I'm late.

Negotiations with my dads
went down to the wire.

They finally agreed to let me
come, but only if I wear this.

[gasping]

Guys!

[grunting]

How great is it
that Mrs. Salter is chaperoning?

She's the best.

Yeah, but why does
he have to come?

[ding]

[tin crackling]

[sloppy chewing]

You know about Bolhofner, right?

I heard from Cici
who heard from girl-Jordan

he's an escaped convict!

[alarms and evil laughter]

I heard from Chandler

who heard from his mom
that he's a cannibal.

They call him Skullhofner.

[wicked cackling]

I heard from lunch lady Pat
that he's a mobster.

He can make a feller
just plain disappear.

[sinister guffawing]

So, some bad news.

It looks like the wrong bus
was reserved,

we're not gonna have
enough seats.

[all kids]: Ah!

No prob',
I'll just drive whoever's left

in the school van.

It's got room
for plenty of bodies.

[whimpering]

[all kids]: Huh?

Looks like you chuckleheads
are ridin' with me!

Lemme grab the keys...
and a crowbar.

[tooting deflation]

Plenty of bodies?

A crowbar?

We're gonna be Skullhofner chow!

Guys, relax.
The Hof's my homeroom teacher.

I'd know if he was a convict,
or a cannibal, or a mobster.

Trust me, we've got nothing
to worry about.

[general agreement chatter]

Go! Before Bolhofner gets back!

[screeching wheels]

[grunting]

[yelping]

Dang door, never opens right.

[grunting]

You know, I could have sworn
I booked a bus with more seats.

So, who wants the front?

[all others]: Dibs not!

Dang it.

[door creaking].

Anybody want some jerky?
Made it myself...

in my basement.

[horror music sting]

[growling and sloppy munching]

I bet it's people jerky.

[locks clicking
and gasping]

[engine humming]

[metallic ding]

[yelping]

So, Mr. Bolhofner.
What do you like to do for fun?

Fun, huh? Watch movies, I guess.

No way! We like movies too!

Video games.

Also awesomely normal.

...And hunting
small prey at night.

[wailing]

[wheels screeching]

[car horns honking]

[squelching]

Wow, that's a lot
of Flippy Syrup.

It'll take hours and hours
to clean.

We should just head
back to school.

[general agreement]

No need for that.
I know a shortcut.

[kids screaming]

[tires screeching]

Mr. Bol-ow! -hofner?

You sure you know-ow!

-where you're going?

Of course!
I come out here

whenever I need
to dispose of my...

composting pile.

Phew.

[stomach growling]

Uh, I think
we should pull over.

Oh, good thinking, Clyde.

You fake sick,
Skullhofner stops, we run.

[brakes screeching]

[vomiting]

Wow, he's really selling it.

We can't escape with
Skullhofner's eagle eye on us.

[metallic ding]

[squeaking
and tense string music]

Guys, my cousin Derek's
a cop now.

He says it always plays out
like this.

Helpless victim plus deserted
road equals...

[rattling moan]

[gasping]

Guys, get a grip!

First of all, Derek's not a cop.

He's a part-time security
guard at the outlets.

Still got a badge.

And yes,
there's been... weirdness,

like Bolhofner
booking the wrong bus,

and the creepy shortcut,

and the whole hunting
small prey thing.

But, none of that
means anything.

[Clyde]: Not all of us have
your endless optimism, Lincoln.

[screaming]

[air blowing]

[whimpering]

[metallic ding]

[screaming]

I got a text from Mrs. Salter.

The bus is stuck
in three feet of Flippy Syrup.

The field trip's cancelled.

I'll take you kids
back to school.

[All kids]: Phew!

See, didn't I say
it would be fine?

[general agreement]

[motor humming]

[banging]

[All kids]: Huh?

[grumbling]

Of all the times
not to have a spare!

Out here,
where no one can find us!

Just as it's about to get dark!

[owl hooting]

Luckily, I have
a hunting cabin nearby.

Guys, we are so gonna be jerky.

Uh, just a little farther.

There's a landline,
so we can call your folks.

Keep up! There's a lot
of bears in these woods.

So, we're hiking
to our own graves?

Here it is!

[ominous synths]

[thunder crashing]

[gulping]

[screams]

♪

[clicking]

[tense music]

♪

What is that thing?
Some kind of medieval w*apon?

[rapid beeping]

Phone's out.

[thunder crashing]

Guess I'll go get
some firewood from the shed.

Derek says they always
have a shed.

Rusty, stop it.
This really isn't so bad.

It's... actually kinda
cozy in here.

[ominous string droning
and metallic dinging]

[crunching]

Let's get out of here!

[grunting]

Help!

[intense drums]

He locked it, from the outside!

Uh, trapped! Like a plump
chipmunk in a knothole

♪

We have to escape.

[Zach]: Okay, here's the plan.

Skullhofner walks through
the door.

He triggers the fishing line,

which causes the quilt
to fall over him.

He stumbles backward, slips on
the cooking lard, and falls.

With him all greased
and tangled, we escape!

You're sure this will work.

Absolutely. My parents and I

use this setup
for Bigfoot traps.

But, you've never
caught Bigfoot.

Way harsh, Stella.

[grunting]

Shh, here comes Skullhofner!

Uh, guys? Where's Liam?

[toilet flushing]

Ooh-ee. Meema's grits
don't mess around.

[frantic vocalizations]

[door thudding]

Get back here!

[Liam]: Oh!

What are you kids doing?

[nervous laughter]

Oh, you know, just playing
a game of moose-tag.

And Liam was it.

Yeah, yeah.

[howling]

Weird.

[sighing]

♪

[metallic dinging]

That must be the front door key.
But how do we get it?

I could distract him with my
sick dance moves. Yeah!

Rusty! You've given me an idea!
I know how to get those keys.

Hey, Mr. Bolhofner.
Do you know how to dance?

[grumbling]

I picked up some moves when
I was stranded in the Sahara

with those Irish step dancers,
why?

There's a dance coming up,
and poor Rusty here can't dance.

Would you mind teaching him?

I guess. Got nothing else to do.

Ahh!

[nervous laughing]

All right, follow my lead,
and one, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Oh!

[Bolhofner humming]

Woohoo!

[smacking]

Okay, we're clear
on the new plan?

Hey there, Mr. B. Great fire.

You know, I've got
a new hobby these days.

Cellars. Boy, do I love
a good old fashioned cellar.

Weird.

Yeah, well, not a lot going on
in Royal Woods, so...

any chance I could see
the cabin cellar?

Knock yourself out.

How 'bout a personal tour?

[grumbling]

Ah!

[metallic clattering
and buzzing]

[Lincoln whining]

[metallic cracking]

Gah! The key broke!

[gasping]

We just need something
to ram the door with.

[tense music]

♪

[wooden clatter]

[banging]

Hurry! Skullhofner's coming!

[all yelling]

Everybody run for it!

[yelling grunt]

[screaming]

Oh, we're done for!

I, Lincoln Albert Loud,

leave to my sisters
all my Ace Savvy comics.

And you're not allowed to hog
'em to make a fast buck, Lola.

[gasp]

[roaring yell]

[whimpering]

[roaring]

[tussling]

[dog-like whimper]

[roaring]

What were you thinking,

locking me in the cellar
and running out into the woods?

You coulda been hurt!

Well, it's just... we thought--

We thought you were gonna
turn us into people jerky!

[sighing]

I shoulda known.

This was all about those
dumb lies people say about me.

Come on, let's get you inside.

[low gentle music]

[slurping]

As soon as this storm settles,
I'll take you kids home.

I think there's a spare tire
for the van in the shed.

I'll wait out there,

so you don't have to worry
about Skullhofner.

[sighing]

Funny. I'm tough enough
to wrestle a bear,

but those cruel rumours
hurt my feelings.

[door clicking]

I feel awful about what we did.

Me too.
Mr. B's actually really cool.

I bet if everybody at school
knew what he was really like,

those rumours would go away.

Yeah, dawg.
I wish there was a way

we could set
the record straight.

[gasp]

Rusty! You've given me an idea!

Fine. I'll cha-cha with him.

Not that.

♪

[tussling]

[dog-like whimper]

See, Mr. B isn't a convict,
or a mobster, or a cannibal!

If you get to know him,
you'll find out

that he's a great guy
who's brave and loyal.

Oh, speaking of which,

here's the bear-wrestler
himself.

Mr. Coolhofner.

[cheering]

Uh, everybody get to class,
or it's detention.

[rumbling]

Hey!

[rubber screeching]

Thank you.

[slight rumbling]

[chuckling]

Coolhofner.

[classical music
with Bolhofner humming]

♪

[plu♪

And that one there
looks like an armadillo

munchin' on a corndog.

Hmm. I don't see it.

Hi guys.
Meet Jazzy, my new rabbit.

Aw!

Hi Jazzy, you want a clover?

Uh, guess you're more
of a grass guy.

And an old soul. I can see
it in his eyes, Stella!

[squeaking]

[growling and cage rattling]

An old soul,
or a hardened criminal.

What you seein' that I'm not?

There's a reason Jazzy
is in this carrier.

He is one bad bunny.

Wait, why is he turning around?

[splattering]

[Clyde]: Eugh!

Sorry Clyde!

Ick, ugh. No need to
apologize, Stella.

Dr. Lopez says all creatures

express anxiety
in their own way.

[growling and cage rattling]

I don't know what's going
on with Jazzy.

I've tried everything.
My parents said

I have the weekend
to get him under control,

or else he has to go live
at my aunt and uncle's house.

They're pro-wrestlers,
so nothing bothers them.

You only get a weekend?
That doesn't seem fair.

Hmm. Ken and Judy are
usually so reasonable.

They said they could only
afford to replace

so many torn up rugs...

And sofas.

And minivans.

[growling and cage rattling]

Sorry Stella.
Wish we could help.

Me too.

I was really looking forward
to bein' a rabbit person.

[whistling]

[All]: Huh?

Let's go guys!

One, two, three, four.

Two, two, three, four.

[playful music]

[hamster screaming]

Hey Bitey, no biting.

♪

Now here's a snack
for all of you.

[ribbiting]

[seeds rustling]

Whoa, Lana's like
a pet whisperer!

Meow!

Cliff, you're not holding
the sharing stick.

You know the rules.

Now, what do you wanna share?

Meow! Meow, pew, pew, pew, pew!

We'll play laser tag
after our snack.

[car horn beeping]

[wheels screeching]

[Lola sputtering]

[brakes screeching]

What's wrong with this thing?

Lana, you told me you fixed it.

I did, calm down! You're being
such a shmirkenbeagle.

[gasp]

That's funny coming from
a real figglesnaggle!

Uh, come again?

They have
their own twin language.

Even Lisa can't cr*ck it.

[metallic rattling]

Here's your problem.

Oh. Thank you.

You bet! Drive safe.

[whistling]

Lana! Would you please train
my rabbit this weekend?

I'm desperate.

I'd be happy
to put my skills to use-

Izzy. Don't take
El Diablo's snack.

[whoosh]

[hissing]

Leave the bunny with me,

and I'll have him trained
lickety-split.

Thank you Lana.

Just let me know what you charge
for your services.

Crickets and worms.
A lot of 'em.

Bleh.

Okay guys, we've got two days
to whip Jazzy here into shape.

Let's see what we're
working with.

[hinge squeaking]

[animal "Aw"s]

Stella said he's one bad bunny,

but there are no bad bunnies,
just misunder--

[Lana screaming]

[shredding]

[thumping jazz]

Jazzy, come back!

[crashing]

♪

[laboured breathing]

Hey?

♪

Keep that thing away from
my prized petunias, Loud!

I'm trying! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa, ah!

♪

[squeaking and Grouse moaning]

Sorry about that, Mr. Grouse.

[grumbling]

Sorry is not gonna bring back
my petunias.

[growling]

[Lana]: Now, let's try this
again, but with a leash.

Now, let's walk.

[Lana screaming]

[crashing]

Ugh. Blegh.

Let's try food motivation.

[squeaking]

Jazzy, this is butter lettuce.

All you have to do is sit still,
and you can have it.

[Lana screaming]

Ugh.

[ominous music sting]

We'll pick up the training in
the morning. Good night, Jazzy.

The Little Miss Unblemished
pageant is tomorrow,

and look at me!

Do I look unblemished to you?

I can't compete looking like
a total icken blicken!

Just put some mud on it,
and arg de flarg marg.

[slathering]

You don't have to
fling it at me.

Oh. Hey, it's going down.

Thanks Lana.

You're welcome.

[both]: Good night!

[light snoring]

[sinister music sting]

[crashing and hinge squeaking]

[shrill violins]

Oh no!

♪

[screaming]

Eunice!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

[tires screeching]

[gasping]

[squeaking]

Jazzy, what did you do?

[gasping]

Oh! Lola, did you have another
sleepwalking rampage last night?

Right idea, wrong twin.
Ask Lana.

Jazzy got out of his crate.
I don't know how!

I guess I'll never know
if David Steele

stopped the time-travelling
aliens

that came to inv*de earth.

Years of fecal research
down the figurative toilet.

Ah! Never mind fecal research,
look at poor Mr. Coconuts!

He's a member
of this family too!

Yeah! That crazy bunny cost
me an arm and a leg!

He didn't break my stuff.

Guess he knows not to mess
with LJ.

Uh, dude, he ate your pony.

What? No!

Lana, I'm sorry.
Jazzy can't stay here anymore.

But, where am I gonna train him?

Oh, honey,
maybe Lana and the bunny

could just use the basement.

[crow cawing]

I was just down there,

and he peed on
our family photo albums.

Lana, you've gotta train
Jazzy somewhere else.

Fine.

[downbeat guitar]

What's goin' on with you, buddy?

I've never had a training
case this hard.

And we're running out of time!

[breezy music]

Hey little guy!
Got yourself a pollen treat?

Ooh!

You just gave me a great idea!

♪

Maybe Jazzy just wants
a special treat too!

Guys, spread out.

Let's get every kind
of flower in this park,

and let Jazzy try them all.

[leaves rustling]

Great work, guys!

[squeaking]

Whoa!

I think it's working!

[dinging]

[chomping]

[gasp]

[Lana yelling]

Guys, split up.
We've gotta find him!

♪

Jazzy?

Jazzy!

♪

Jazzy? Jazzy! Jazzy!

Oh, hey, it's Lola!

[slurping]

Lana, what's wrong?

Look.

Oh no! You lost your bunny!
Take my ride to go look for him.

Thanks Lols,
that's really sweet.

But you better not fart
in the driver's seat!

[engine whirring]

[gasp]

Oh no, you guys! Look!

♪

Flip, did you see an unhinged
rabbit come through here?

Uh, what do you think, champ?
I'm not sittin' up here

so I can inspect
my nacho cheese machine.

Oh-ah! Ooh.

Gimmie a call later,
I'll fix up your shop.

♪

Okay, which way did he go?

[crashing]

The rabbit! Which way'd he go?

♪

Okay, what way?

[whirring]

[thud]

[sighing]

[downbeat music]

Ugh.

Hey sweetie,
how's the bunny training going?

Terrible. I lost Jazzy.

[sniffing]

Can you drive me to Stella's
so I can tell her the bad news?

Of course. And hey, why don't
we post some flyers on the way?

And when we're done, I'll treat
you to some ice cream.

Did you get trapped
in a car wash again?

No, worse.

We had to close
Reininger's early.

There was a rampaging bunny
on the loose.

It was like Easter, but awful.

Jazzy!

To the mall!

[jazz piano]

Thanks for the ride, Mom.
Hops, you come with me.

Everybody else, stay put
for your own safety.

Who's still up for ice cream?

[squeak]

[wheels squeaking]

Look, there's Jazzy!

[frantic music and growling]

[laboured breathing]

Gotcha!

Hey, I demand you release
that bunny!

His name is Jazzy
and he's in my care.

What? This is Snazzy,

and he escaped
from my pet store earlier.

But, he looks
exactly like Jazzy.

It's like they're related
or something.

Wait a minute. Does this
rabbit have any siblings?

Yeah, one. But I sold it
a couple days ago to some girl.

[gasp]

Hops! I know what's going on!

Snazzy is Jazzy's twin!

Sir, I would like to buy Snazzy.

Ugh.

It all makes sense now! That's
why both bunnies have been bad!

They just need their twin!
Like Lola and me.

I mean, sure,
sometimes she can be awful,

but I still love her
and need her.

And if Snazzy has twin powers
like Lola and me,

he should be able to find Jazzy
by smell.

[sniffing]

Like right now, Lola's gettin'
her nails done at Suzy's Salon.

[sniffing]

Hm. I wonder what Lana's
doing at the mall.

Okay, your turn, Snazzy.
Sniff out Jazzy.

[sniffing]

[Lana yelling]

♪

[Lana yelling]

♪

[sniffing]

[squeaking]

Ah! Oof.

[squeaking]

Jazzy, you're back!

Come on, let's get both
of you guys to Stella.

[squeaking]

Okay, this is seriously the
sweetest thing I've ever seen.

Thanks Lana.

I don't know how you figured
everything out like that.

Eh, it's a twin thing.

Hey, I'm off to the--

Grocery store? Sweet.
Can you get me--

Cereal? You bet.

-And--
-toothpaste? I'm on it.

Wow. Guess that's
a twin thing too.

[squeaking]

[gleeful vocalizing]

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House
(Loud House) ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee,
never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪

[upbeat music]