08x02 - The Awards Show Problem/The Wrong Headed Problem

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Peg + Cat". Aired: October 7, 2013 - April 23, 2018.*
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Peg and her sidekick, Cat, as they encounter unexpected challenges that require arithmetic and problem-solving skills.
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08x02 - The Awards Show Problem/The Wrong Headed Problem

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HELP ALL KIDS LEARN
AND GROW WITH PBS KIDS.

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING
YOUR PBS STATION.

♪♪

- One, two!
A one, two, three, four!

♪♪♪

♪♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting like a trombone)

♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting)

- ♪ One two three
- Yeah, c'mon let's go ♪

- ♪ Four five six
- Hey, what do you know? ♪

- ♪ Seven eight nine
- Whoa, what comes next? ♪

- Uh, ten?
- Ten!

- ♪ You're the best ♪
(kids cheering)

♪ We are two
Na na na na na ♪

♪ Me plus you
Na na na na na ♪

♪ We're Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Ca-at ♪

- ♪ Peg plus Cat ♪♪
(all laughing)

- "The Awards Show Problem."

♪♪♪

(taxi honking)

- ♪♪ Bright lights
Big nights ♪

♪ Celebrities out
by the hoards ♪

♪ They turn every head
On a carpet that's red ♪

♪ At the Seven-Minute Awards ♪

♪ Flash, flash
Makin' a splash ♪

♪ Red carpet
Sparkly gold cords ♪

♪ The glitz and the glamour
The people all clamour ♪

♪ For the Seven-Minute Awards ♪

♪ You'll find out who will win
it soon after we begin it ♪

♪ It's the
Seven-Minute Awards ♪♪

- (man): And now, please welcome
your hosts, Peg and Cat!

(applause)

- Good evening.
I'm Peg and this--

Oh, sorry, that's you.

- Good evening.
I'm Peg and this is Cat.

And we're here to welcome you
to the Seven-Minute Awards!

- That's right, Peg.
Tonight, we are giving awards

to all of our friends
for the great things they do.

- None of this would be possible

without the amaaazing
awards show producer, Ramone!

(applause)

- Remember, guys:
the show has to end

seven minutes after it begins.

- And, uh, how long
is seven minutes?

- Enough time to walk around
the block a couple times.

Or maybe sing a couple songs.
- That's not much time!

- We've got a lot
of awards to give out.

- In a really short time!

We've got a BIG PROBLEM!
(audience murmuring)

- But you can solve it
with the help of this clock.

(beeping)

Every time the number changes,
that's one second.

As long as each winner's speech
ends in seconds or less,

we'll be OK.
- And so...

♪ Problem solved
- The problem is solved ♪

- But if the speeches start
taking more than seconds,

we might not finish
the show in time!

When this master clock gets to
seven minutes, we're finished!

- Then let's start right away.
- And remember,

no matter how things go, it's
an honour just to be the winner.

- ♪ It's the
Seven-Minute Awards ♪

- The first award for "Space
Monster with the Biggest Mouth"

goes to...
- What an upset!

- (both): Big Mouth!
- Wha...?

(with accent): Dis... Woo!
No even prepare speech...

I just want to say...
(chomping)

- How long was his speech?

- The clock says Big Mouth
used up five seconds!

His speech was five seconds long

and we have to
make sure the speeches

are no more than seconds.

But since five is less than ,
we're right on track.

- Can I present the next one?
Can I? Can I? Can I?

Can I please?!
- Be my guest.

- The next award, for
"Best First President

of the United States" goes to...

Whoa doodle ho!
George Washington!

- Ha ha!
(jaunty music)

Well, Jonny my nonny!
I cannot tell a lie:

I did not see this coming.
I may wear a white wig

and have wooden teeth,
but I've still got it goin' on!

- The clock says George
used up seven seconds.

- Seven's less than ,
so we're still on track!

Next, the award for
"Best Crier" goes to...

- Richard!
♪♪♪

- You like me!
You really like me!

(crying)

- That took eight seconds.
- Eight's less than .

- Still fine!
- Next, the award

for "Crankiest Pirate"
goes to...

- Captain!
♪♪♪

- Well, shiver me timbers!
I just want to say--

- Yo Captain, I'm really
happy for you,

but Matey had the
crankiest year of all time.

He deserves this award.
- Thank ye.

Ever since I was a wee pirate--

- Yo, Matey,
I'm really happy for you,

but everyone knows this award
should be going to Buckler.

- I'd like to make
a political statement--

- Get yer claws off me award!
- I won it fair and square!

- All that took
only three seconds!

- No, Cat. There's a zero
after that three.

The pirates took seconds.

is way more than .

- It's OK. We can make up
for how long they took.

But we have to hurry up, Peg.

- We have to hurry up, Cat!
- We have to hurry up,

Blockette carrying
the next envelope! Please!

- This one's for
"Littlest Chicken."

- Ooh. Tough category.
- And the winner is...

Littlest Chicken!

♪♪♪

- (high voice): Thank you.
- I loved that speech.

So sweet!
- And so short.

- Uh, I think
she's still going...

- But I could never
have been littlest

without all of the
big chickens in my coop.

So I'd like to thank them all.

By name.

- Thank them ALL?
- By name?!

- Slowly.
- (both): NO!

- "Thank you to Sheila, Mimi,

Featherface Rhonda..."

- Aren't there chickens?

- We've got
a REALLY BIG PROBLEM!

- "...Seedy Sue,
Benny Beak, Screech..."

- The clock is going past ,
up towards again!

- "...Pattycakes,
Lady Cawcaw..."

- We've got to stop her!
- If we interrupt her,

the audience'll hate us!

- "...Stacey, Alia, Jen..."

- Could you guys, like,
play some music to stop her?

- "...my nestie
bestie Angelique..."

- She's unstoppable!
- "...my cousin from another

dozen Tallula..."
- We're past seconds!

- "...and last but not least,
Cluck Cluck Cluckster Magee."

- She's done. Finally.
- But look!

- Littlest Chicken's speech
took seconds!

That's one whole minute!
- We're WAY behind!

- In addition...
- WHAT?!

- ...I have to thank the man who
keeps us all safe and sound,

the Farmer!
(fiddle music)

- I would like to thank YOU,
Littlest Chicken,

for letting me take
care of you. In fact--

- No more thank yous, thank you!
- I'd like to thank

all the animals on the farm
so they won't feel left out.

C'mon up!
(applause)

- OK, now it's time to--

- Mooo!
- Sorry, but we have to--

- Baaa!
- Awesome.

But we really need to--
- I have been watching this show

since I was a little hog,
but I never dreamed

I'd be up here myself.
To dreamers everywhere!

- Beautiful!
Now if I could just--

- And what do you
have to say, Pig?

(snoring)
- (musical): Ah...

(applause)
- OK! Time to move on!

- That took WAY too long.
The show has already taken

five minutes! See?
- If the whole awards show

is seven minutes long, and we've
already used up five minutes,

then we only have...
one, two minutes left!

- And we've barely made
a dent in the award heap!

- Yow! That's quality
craftsmanship!

- OK so, let's just read the
winners as fast as we can.

The award for "Biggest Dog"
goes to Big Dog!

- "Most Neighbourly Ladies" --
the Neighbour Ladies!
- Hooray!

- "Most Lovey-Dovey Couple" --
Romeo and Juliet!

- "Best Partial Fish" --
the Mermaid!

- The award for "Best Dwarf"
is... a seven-way tie?!

- Come on up, Seven Dwarfs!
- Where are they?

- Tripping all over each other
and piling up.

- You're pushing my arm!
- You're squishing my leg!

- You're squashing
my belly button!

- Tickle fight!
(giggling)

- Everybody's moving really slow

and we're running out
of time really fast

and I am TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!

(horn tooting)
(whistle blowing)

Cat's right. I'd better count
backwards from five

to calm down.
Five, four, three, two...

One?! That's it,

you clock starting
and stopping genius!

- Huh?
- The number one may be small...

- Uh-huh...
- It's less than ten or five...

- Uh-huh...
- ...or even two.

- Uh-huh!
- But the number one
is our ticket to getting

this show finished on time!
- You lost me.

- Just follow my lead.
- Wah!

- ♪♪ People of Radio City
You've gathered here tonight ♪

♪ To watch us
hand out trophies ♪

♪ To the brightest
of the bright ♪

♪ But why are we competing when
there's simply no defeating ♪

♪ The unbeatable friendship
you've shown? ♪

♪ It's a triumph all its own ♪

♪ And so you're ♪

♪ All number one to us ♪

♪ To us, you're all number one ♪

♪ You're all the cat's pajamas
You're all the bee's knees ♪

♪ You all are so deserving
of winning one of these ♪

♪ You simply can't be outdone ♪

♪ And that's why
you're all number one ♪

So c'mon, everybody! Get in line
and come and get an award!

- ♪ You're all
number one to us ♪

♪ To us, you're all number one ♪

- ♪ Everybody here is special
- Everybody here's a star ♪

- ♪ And each of you's a winner
- No matter who you are ♪

♪ Your friendship
is second to none ♪

♪ And that's why
you're all number one ♪

- ♪ Who can say
what's better or best? ♪

♪ Or when a Lifetime's
Achievement begins? ♪

♪ Friendship's never
been a contest ♪

♪ 'Cause when you've got it,
everyone wins ♪

- ♪ Yeah, everyone wins ♪

- Look, ma! I'm a somebody!

- We handed out
all of the awards!

- It's a -way tie!

- We even have time left
for a big finale!

- Yay!
♪ We're all number one tonight ♪

♪ That's right
We're all number one ♪

- ♪ Everybody's feeling super
- Everybody's feeling great ♪

- ♪ Everybody gets to take home
a fancy paperweight ♪

- ♪ Let's celebrate
and have some fun ♪

- ♪ With the greatest
friends under the sun ♪

- ♪ 'Cause tonight
We're all number-- ♪

- Five seconds left!
- Five, four, three, two...

- ♪ One ♪♪

- If you believe
in what you're doing,

who cares if you win an award?
- Why are you saying this?

- Uh, because there's
one award still to go.

The award for "Cat Who Cares
Least About Winning" goes to...

- Ugh, glue is so... "C, A, T."

ME! ME!
(laughing)

(sighing)

- Live from the tree, it's...
- Amazing People!

- The show where we interview...
- Amazing people!

- Today on Amazing People,

the world's greatest
chicken poet

will read his new
chicken poem, entitled...

- Um, it's entitled,
uh, "Chickens."

- Roll the clip, Mac!

- "Chickens, chickens on a farm.

"Chickens, chickens on my arm.

"Chickens,
chickens out in space.

"Chickens, chickens in a race.

"Chickens, chickens on the sand.

"Chickens, chickens in a band.

"Chickens, chickens in a shoe.

Chickens, chickens I love you."

- What inspired you to write
this amazing chicken poem?

- Chickens.
- What would you say

it's really about?
- Uh, chickens.

- Would you like to give
a shout out to anyone?

- CHICKENS!
- CHEEP!

- Amazing things happen on...

- Amazing People!

♪♪♪

- One, two!
A one, two, three, four!

♪♪♪

♪♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting like a trombone)

♪ Peg plus Cat ♪
(Cat tooting)

- ♪ One two three
- Yeah, c'mon let's go ♪

- ♪ Four five six
- Hey, what do you know? ♪

- ♪ Seven eight nine
- Whoa, what comes next? ♪

- Uh, ten?
- Ten!

- ♪ You're the best ♪
(kids cheering)

♪ We are two
Na na na na na ♪

♪ Me plus you
Na na na na na ♪

♪ We're Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Cat ♪

- ♪ Peg plus
- Ca-at ♪

- ♪ Peg plus Cat ♪♪
(all laughing)

- "The Wrong-Headed Problem."

(screaming)

♪♪♪

- Hey! I'm Peg, and this is Cat,

and we're waiting
for our clothes to dry!

- Ahem!
- Oh! Sorry, Richard.

And this is our space
alien friend, Richard!

Cat loves watching
the dryer spin,

because it makes his
favourite shape: circles!

- Watching paint dry is boring,

but watching clothes dry isn't.

- That's deep.
- It's bottomless!

As... am I.
(giggling)

- AH! I just realized
you don't wear pants!

- I'm a cat!
Why would I wear pants?

- Are cat pants even a thing?
- Guys! I brought my Clay Peg

and Clay Cat and
Clay Richard dolls

so we could have a playdate.
- More like a "claydate."

- Nice.
- But all we've done so far

is wait for Peg's clothes to dry
and talk about cat pants!

(whiny): If I weren't so mature
I'd whine about it!

- Sorry, Richard, but we can't
play until the dryer is done.

My hat's in there!
I love my hat.

It has the perfect attributes.
- (both): Attributes?

- ♪♪ Things like colour,
shape, and size ♪

♪ Those are attributes ♪

♪ And so far as
the term applies ♪

♪ To hats,
they're "hattributes" ♪

- I see what you did there.
- ♪ Attributes describe
a thing ♪

♪ In clear, specific ways ♪

♪ Like small, and round,
and soft, and well ♪

♪ I could go on for days ♪

♪ When you find
the hat that's it ♪

♪ You totally commit ♪

♪ To your perfect fit ♪

- ♪ I love my hat
- You love your hat ♪♪

- Peg, that's the same way
I feel about you and Cat!

You have the
perfect attributes...

- Or "cattributes." Ha!

- ...that I need
in a pair of playmates:

tall, small; female, feline!

Which means cat-like.
- Cat like!

- Well, if you can just
wait until the dryer's done...

- But I can't wait!
I'm impatient!

If I weren't so mature,
I'd cry about it!

(crying)

Oh, great.
I'm impatient and immature.

I've got a bunch
of BIG PROBLEMS!

- Oh, man.
- That's it, you dizzy cat!

My Peg and Cat dolls have
most of the same attributes

as you guys!
Tall, small, female, feline.

I'll just play with these
until the dryer's finished!

- Great! And so...

♪♪ Problem solved
The problem is solved ♪

♪ We solved the problem
Problem solved ♪♪

(buzzing)
The dryer's finished!

My hat is ready!
- Let me help you with that,

Pegster. Let's see...

Um... Is this it?

- My hat!
- It shrunk in the dryer.

- Size was, like, its most
perfect hattribute!

- Hattri-what now?
- It's an attribute.

- But for hats.
- My hat is too small

for my head! Or my head
is too big for my hat!

This is a REALLY BIG PROBLEM!

- Pegster,
I'm a little concerned.

All this watching
the dryer spin,

and singing about hattributes,
and... is this a Clay Richard?

- That's it, you responsible-
for-my-welfare-

until-I'm- genius!
I need to do what Richard did!

- Direct a musical
at Radio City?

- No! Find a new hat that
has the same attributes

as my old one, and fits my head.

Cat, grab Richard!
We're off to the Mega Mall!

♪♪♪

- Welcome to Mac's
Hats For Heads!

- Hi, Mac. I need a hat to
replace my old one that shrunk.

- Well, if you can't find
something you like,

I'll eat my hat.
And we are having a sale

on edible hats.
(chuckling)

- So many hats
with so many attributes:

colours, textures, heights...
- (grunting): Weights.

- But the most important ones
for me are size and shape.

♪♪ My head is spherical
and round ♪

♪ Sort of like a ball ♪

♪ But so far all the hats
I've found ♪

♪ Don't fit my head at all ♪

♪ The inside's boxy,
like a cube ♪

♪ It should be like a bowl ♪

- ♪ So basically
you feel like a ♪

- ♪ Round Peg in a square hole ♪

- ♪ How about a pyramid
with a triangular base? ♪

- ♪ The corners just tip over ♪

♪ And cover up my face ♪

♪ Let's forget the whole thing ♪

- ♪ Consider it forgetted ♪

- ♪ If I can't find
a hat that fits ♪

♪ I guess I'm just
wrong-headed ♪♪

My head is the wrong
size or shape

for every single
hat in the store.

I'll just have to live the rest
of my life... hatless.

- Not if I have anything
to say about it!

Team Melon -- assemble!

(trumpets playing)

I'm Captain Mac,
leader of Team Melon,

and sworn champion of
uniquely-headed individuals

such as yourself!
- I am not even seeing this!

- Peg, I was once
like you: a tiny kid

with a giant, bulbous head.
- Hey!

- My head was so big that NASA
mistook it for a planet.

- We've discovered a new planet!
- That's just some kid

with a big head.
- That's huge!

- I can hear you!
- Oh, sorry.

- Anyway, just like you,
I realized that no normal hat

would ever fit me.
- So what should I do?

- You need to find
hat alternatives:

things that are not hats,

but which you can wear
as if they were.

♪♪ Anything can be a hat,
from shoeboxes to boots ♪

♪ Appearances don't matter,
only... attributes ♪

- Huh. I guess that's true.

- ♪ Donner needs a hat that's
tall to fit his antlers right ♪

♪ But Baby T-Rex values
length over height ♪

- Height standing up is the same
as length lying down!

- But they're wearing
garbage on their heads!

- ♪ So what if something's
stinky or a style that
you don't love? ♪

♪ What matters is it fits
your head like a glove ♪♪

- So you're saying I should
wear garbage on my head?

- Uh-uh-uh! Not garbage --
hat alternatives!

Does it look like Donner's
wearing garbage on his head?

♪♪♪

- Finding a hat alternative is
my only hope! Let's do it!

- Alright!
- Rah rah!

- I know just where to start!
Put your heads together...

TEAM MELON TIME WARP!
♪♪♪

- (Cat): Ow.
- The prehistoric valley?

- Yup. Baby T-Rex, show her!
- Rah!

- (Cat): Isn't that
the egg you hatched from?

- The very same!
Go ahead, Peg. Try it on.

- ♪♪ It fits on my head,
so the size is right ♪

♪ The weight is too
Nice and light ♪

- I think you've found your hat
alternative, Egg! I mean Peg!

- I think you have
an eggshell on your head.

- ♪ I can dance and jump
and still feel agile ♪

- Oh, no, it broke!
- ♪ It was just too fragile ♪♪

My old hat would
have never shattered.

I need something sturdier, Mac.

(Donner grunting)
- Donner's got an idea!

TEAM MELON TIME WARP!

♪♪♪

- (Cat): Ow.
- The North Pole?

We're at Santa's Workshop!
- With its lovely gift boxes.

Holiday hat alternatives!

- ♪ Too square, too spherical
- This'll take a Christmas
miracle ♪

- ♪ Too small, too roomy ♪

♪ Too tacky and perfume-y ♪

- ♪ I'm hearing lots
of attributes ♪

♪ But none that fit the bill
I've got one more idea ♪

♪ If this don't work,
then nothing will ♪♪

- We're back at the hat store!

Is there one more special hat
that you want me to try?

- Uh, in a manner of speaking...

- This is a mop bucket.

- But it fits! Almost.

Your head is quite wide.

Still, it's a great height.
Plus it's good for drumming.

♪♪♪

♪♪ Hey guess what?
I'm tapping on your head ♪

♪ Tonight ♪♪

- Mac, I appreciate your help,
but this isn't gonna work.

- You're right,
I shoulda rinsed it out first.

Gimme a sec!
- What am I gonna do?

My head has the wrong
attributes for every hat

or hat alternative known to man!

Or dinosaur! Or reindeer!

I'll never find a hat that fits!

I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!

(trumpet tooting)
(whistle blowing)

Cat's right.
I should count backwards from--

The Clay Richard Doll!
- I must have grabbed

the Clay Richard instead
of the actual Richard!

- We left Richard
alone at my house!

- NOO!
- NOO! We should go home

instead of standing
here yelling "no," right?

- YESS!
- YESS!

- And that's why they call me
"Blueberry Muffin Richard."

(high voice):
Great story, Richard!

(low voice): And so long!

- Richard! Are you OK?

- I hardly noticed
you were gone!

I was so busy taking
care of Clay Peg here.

- What's wrong with her?
- She was totally freaking out

'cause her hat got all huge!

- MY HAT! Where'd you find it?

- Your mom took it
out of the dryer!

- So that must mean this hat...

- Belongs to Clay Peg!

I threw it in the laundry
when I came over today!

- It was all a big mix-up!
- Our hats fit us perfectly!

And so...
- ♪♪ Problem solved ♪

♪ The problem is solved
We solved the problem ♪

- ♪ So everything is awesome
- Problem solved ♪♪

- You know, guys, I learned
a lot about hattributes today.

♪♪ Every head is different ♪

♪ Every head's unique ♪

♪ Some are wide
and spherical ♪

- ♪ Some are tall and sleek ♪

- ♪ But this strange adventure ♪

♪ Really opened up my eyes ♪

♪ The most important
hattribute is size ♪

- ♪ Small hats for small heads ♪

♪ Big hats for big ones ♪

- ♪ Doll hats for doll heads ♪

- ♪ Triangles for pig ones ♪

- ♪ When you find the hat
that's it ♪

♪ You totally commit ♪

♪ To your perfect fit ♪

♪ I love my hat
- She loves her hat ♪♪

- I brought this
just in case, but, uh,

looks like you're
good, so, uh...

Sorry, I'm ruining the moment.

- Um, Cat?
- Yes?

- When Mac said my head's,
you know, unique, too wide,

too big... you never disagreed.
- Oh! I didn't?

- Do you think
I have a big head?

- No, no, no, no, no!
Your head totally fits your hat.

And your body. You wouldn't be
you without that exact head!

It wouldn't be you!
- Good. Thanks.

- Um, Peg?

- Your tail is just
the right size!

- Oh, good.
I worry it's too long.

- Well, don't!
(giggling)

(sighing)

- ♪♪ We're splashing
in(theme music)
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