03x05 - Martha the Hero Maker/Starstruck Martha

[bunniefuu]

* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre. *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks

* Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks.

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there.

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* Hyperventilates!

* Martha-- to reiterate--
Martha speaks. *

Welcome to the show.

You may know me
as Mr. Astonishing.

And that is
Captain Thrill.

We're ecstatic
that you're here.

Mm-hmm-- ecstatic.

And that means
we're really happy.

Today's show is filled
with all sorts

of exciting words,
like "thrilling"

and "enthusiastic."

Now, if you'll excuse us,

we have some exciting stuff
to do.

(screams)
What is it?

Mr. Astonishing
is afraid of heights.

Ready, Jake?

Catch the ball.

(joyous prattling)

(giggling)

I'll get it.

You have
to catch the ball, Jake.

Say it: "Catch."

(happy babbling)

(Skits sniffing)

Boy, what
does it take

to teach a kid
one simple word?

Here you go.

Catch it,
Jake-- ready?

Hey, Helen, catch.

See, Jake?
Catch.

(babbles)

No, catch.

He can't say words.

Babies aren't smart...

(Skits grunting, snorting)

...like dogs.

(giggling)

(sighs)

Helen, we're going
to the park.

Come on.
I can't.

I have to stay home
and watch Jake

till my parents come
back from next door.

I'd be happy
to babysit with you.

Oh, but I want
to do something thrilling,

which means something
fun and exciting,

not babysitting.

I bet we can think of plenty

of thrilling things
to do while babysitting.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hmm...

I can't think
of one.

Anybody?

No.
No.

(joyful burble)

I know-- let's teach the baby
a big word,

like "humongous."

I can't even get him
to say "catch."

TRUMAN:
Don't you get it?

Big word.

"Humongous" means very big,

and it's also a big word.

Vocabulary humor.

(all groaning)

TD:
Babysitting.

Dull, boring.

Puts me to sleep.

Makes me tired.

What are
you reading?

Incredible Cat Club.

The heroes are the cats,

and the villains
are The Dirty, Dirty Dogs.

What?

Villains do bad things.

Dogs always do good things,

so they should
always be heroes.

That comic
should be about

dog heroes who
help people.

People always need
help from dogs.

Am I right, Skits?

(barking)

How would they be heroes?

Uh, uh, well,

say people get
locked in a cellar.

Dogs rescue them, and
then the people say,

"You're our heroes."

* Ta-dah.

Nah.
Nah.

babbling)
What?

Getting locked in the cellar
isn't exactly thrilling.

Oh, uh...

did I mention the door
is made of steel,

many inches thick?

There's no escape,
it's dark inside,

and the air is running out.

(gasps)

Why would the air run out?

Uh, there's a cr*ck
in the wall,

and the air is slipping
out the cr*ck,

so, soon, there'll
be none left!

That's not how air
works, Martha.

I'll explain.

It's my story,

and in my story,
air leaks out the cr*ck.

TD:
That could be
an exciting comic.

You should draw it,
Martha.

She can't hold
a pencil.

No thumbs.

I did the hard work--
you draw it.

Why don't we?

There's nothing else to do.

Yeah, I've
got plenty

of paper in
the house.

Hmm.

(jabbering)

TRUMAN:
I'm done!

I'm first!

Oh, I didn't know it
was a race.

Oh, my story's been drawn.

This is so thrilling!

I'm excited--
look at my tail go.

"The Astonishing Tale
of the Locked Door."

Da.

What's
"astonishing" mean?

Exciting and amazing.

Oh, that's
the truth.

Go, Truman!

Our thrilling adventure begins

with Helen and TD
in the bank vault...

They're shining pennies

for the "Beautify Our Town"
project.

Shing!
(rumbling)

(imitating Helen):
The humongous vault door--
it's closing!

(imitating TD):
Can't stop it!

(grunting)

TRUMAN:
They're locked in!

No one can hear their cries

through the humongous,
inches-thick steel door.

No one except Martha,
using her astonishing dog ears!

(imitating Martha):
Skits, it's adventure time!

They become
the Incredible Martha

and her pal, Leafy Lad!

They follow the sound
straight to the bank.

And I mean straight.

But dog heroes
can't get through

a humongous, thick steel door.

It looks bad
for the trapped people

'cause there are no cracks,
and the air is running out.

(rumbling)

Lucky for them,

the Astonishing True-Man

in his Incredible
Exoskeleton-of-Wow shows up!

MARTHA:
Stop it! Stop right there!

That's not
my story.

My story's
about a basement door.

Da.

I made it more exciting
than a normal basement.

I improved it.

If there's no cr*ck,
how can air run out?

And the dogs
must be heroes

and rescue
the people.

HELEN:
I'm done!

She's done!

Come on, Skits.

"Incredible skeleton
of wow"-- oy.

You're gonna love this.

It's not another
"astonishing tale," is it?

It's not an
action-filled adventure,

but it's not dull
and boring, either.

Mine is called...

"Martha, the Very Smart
and Exciting Dog Hero."

I'm liking it so far.

Helen and Martha were watching
baby Jake for Mom and Dad,

who went next door
for ten minutes.

But watching Jake is so boring

that ten minutes
felt like , days!

So... they danced.

And stuff.

Then, they danced more,

but they forgot to watch Jake.

Sloppy Jake had just eaten,
so he was covered with food.

Today, he ate peanut butter,

and he had so much
peanut butter on him

that he stuck to the wall.

Though this was an incredible
and amazing thing,

Mom probably wouldn't be happy
to come home

and find her only son stuck
to the ceiling,

but how do you get a brother
off the ceiling?

Then, a dull, boring cat
named Nelson showed up

with a litter box on his head.

And Nelson said...

Helen!

Is something wrong, Martha?

Nelson said?

Cats don't talk, Helen!

And where's my story?

Hero dogs!
Basement door!

Or!

I thought it
was boring,

so I cut out
the basement door.

TD:
Done!

Here's what
you want, Martha.

Thrilling, astonishing,
amazing adventure!

No cats, right?

It's called "Martha's
Thrilling, Astonishing,

Amazing Adventure"--
guaranteed cat-free.

Here comes the Incredible X-S
Bowser Force on parachutes!

There's Martha, Skits

and Burt, who looks kind
of like a cat here,

but he's all dog-- believe me.

Their mission:
rescue Helen and Truman

from behind the locked door

of the evil villain, Count Bob!

* Dum-dum-dum...

He has the body of a
professional wrestler

and the head of a Bob.

Grr!

Here comes a jet--
shoom!

And a sand submarine!

Ping! Ping! Ping!

And... hmm, I guess my mind
wandered a little.

Helen and Truman,

trapped behind a humongous door
-feet thick.

Incredible!

Oh, and that's not a cat.

It's a ground squirrel.

(imitating Truman):
We're trapped
by the humongous door,

and look out
for that ground squirrel.

It's sucking all the air out
of the cave!

(TD inhaling)

What will happen next?

I, uh, ran out of paper.

Exciting, huh?

I bet you can't wait
for part two.

What was that?

That wasn't
my story.

None of these
were my story!

Martha,
we tried
to help.

Your story isn't exciting
and interesting.

It's dull.

My story is interesting.

Let me explain it to you.

See this door?
Or.

It locks
from the outside and...

Let's do it, so you can see
it isn't exciting.

You stay there, Jake.

You're not old enough
to be on the stairs.

Dah.

So here we are.

Not very exciting.

But if the door
was shut...

Like this?

TD,

open the door.

I have to watch Jake.

It won't open!

What do you mean?

Let me try.

Now you're working with my story
instead of against it.

See the excitement
we can create?

We're not creating
excitement, Martha.

We're really
locked in!

(doorknob rattling)

HELEN:
Jake, don't you move!

TD, why did you shut the door?

JAKE:
Door!

TD:
I didn't know
it locked.

My story
told you
it locked.

Real life is
the best basis
for a story,

and my story
was based on
this bad door.

Okay, Martha,
your story's very exciting!

So, what happens next?

How do we get out in your story?

Oh, uh, for Skits and I
to rescue you and be heroes,

we'd have to be out there
with Jake.

Oh.

(pounding on door)
HELEN:
Jake, don't go anywhere!

Stay near
the door!

Doh... or.

(Mom laughing)

DAD:
Honey, could you
open the door?

Door.

the door.atch
(grunts)

Door!

Hear that?

Jake looked at the door
and said, "Door!"

What did you say, Jake?

Door.

Door, door, door,
door, door, door...

Get the video camera!

Espera! Wait!

It's right here!

Oh. Where's Jake?

Dah, dah, door.

Hey, where's
Helen?

Door!

He knows exactly what a door is!

Genius, baby, genius!

Door.

Dad?N:
Helen?

Helen?

HELEN:
Mom?

JAKE:
Door!

Helen, you were supposed
to be watching your brother.

It just happened.

It was an
accident.

Wait! Jake wasn't
just saying a word.

He was trying to tell us

Helen was trapped
behind the door.

(babbles)... door!

He's a hero.

His first word
is his first rescue.

My son, el héroe!

This is so thrilling.

How did he learn
to say door?

I couldn't teach
him anything.

I told you
it would be thrilling, but no,

anything without explosions
and crashing into things

you think must be dull.

I'm astonished.

My heart is still b*ating fast.

What an adventure.

All it took was
a locked door.

And it wasn't
even humongous.

Next time, maybe you'll
listen when the dog talks.

JAKE:
Door, door.

The door, door, door,
door, door, door, door!

Door! Door!

(flies buzzing)

Here, Martha, we have our hero
and our villain.

Which one
is which?

HELEN:
Can't you tell?

Hello. Hi there.

What are you lookin' at?!

I can guess,
but how can I be sure?

A hero is someone
who does good things.

A villain is
someone who does

bad things.

They're not doing
anything.

(slurping)

Mmm! Cranberry!

The big lady
took my juice!

Unhand that
girl's juice!

Thank you,
Angry Pirate.

So that's our

villain,
and that's our hero.

How very interesting.

It was surprising
and made me think.

Let's go.

I want to get
a clean straw.

Carlo, the whole town
is ecstatic

that you rescued Bimmy
from that vat of honey.

What does ecstatic mean?

Ecstatic means
that we're very, very happy.

We're ecstatic
that you're safe and sound.

Carlo, you're
the sweetest.

No, I am!

(laughter)

MARTHA:
Aw.

(Martha laughing)

Oh!

Courageous Collie Carlo
is the bravest,

handsomest dog ever!

Oh, I'd give anything
to meet him!

TV ANNOUNCER:
How would you like to meet
Courageous Collie Carlo?

Because he's coming
to your hometown!

Carlo will be greeting fans
in Wagstaff City this Saturday!

(barks)

(gasps)
Wagstaff City?

We live there!
Here! Aah!

Helen?!

Helen? Helen?!

MAN:
And that's a wrap,
everybody.

Yeah, the sh**t
just finished.

Yeah, yeah.
Hold on.

You looked beautiful, baby.

(barks)

You're welcome.

I'm glad I'm
Carlo's agent.

Not only is he talented,

a nice dog.ch
(phone rings)

Hello?

Yeah, listen, if you want Carlo
to do the kibble commercial,

he has to taste
the product first.

Is it crunchy?
He likes crunchy.

But not too crunchy.

(frantic jabbering
over phone)

Yeah, I'll call you back.

Uh, what are
you doing?

What are those?

Flowers for Carlo.

No. No flowers
around Carlo ever.

Never, ever, ever.

It's in his contract.

No flowers? Why not?

It's a long story.

Let's just say there
was an incident.

(sniffing)

(sneezing)

(yelling)

(yells)
No!

(sneezes)

(whines)

He was so embarrassed and upset

that now he has
a fear of flowers.

(Carlo barks)

Carlo, baby,
how's my number one star?

I'm so excited!

Today is the day!

How does my fur look?

Like... fur.

Oh.

It looks great!

You look fine, Martha.

Uh, will you
brush my teeth

with my doggy
toothbrush?

Sure.

MOM:
I have never seen Martha
so eager

to have her teeth brushed.

(muffled speech)

Eager means that you really
want to do something.

You are always eager
to go for a walk,

but you are never eager
to have your teeth cleaned.

I know what
eager means.

I was trying to
say I'm not eager

to meet Carlo with
dog food breath.

Ah, the poster!

Where's the poster?

I can't believe how
enthusiastic you are

about meeting Courageous
Collie Carlo today.

I'm not enthusiastic.

I'm excited.

Enthusiastic means

you're really excited
or happy about something.

Then I guess
I am enthusiastic.

And eager and excited.

(panting)

We'd better
get going

before you explode
from excitement.

What?

That can happen?

Hi, Mom. Would you like
to come with us to meet Carlo?

Hmm. I have some deliveries
to make anyway.

Why not see what
all the excitement is about.

I feel as excited
as Bimmy felt in episode

when Carlo rescues him

from a log
going over a waterfall.

Or episode
when Carlo rescues him

from a barrel
going over a waterfall.

Or in episode , Carlo pulls
Bimmy out of a mineshaft.

Uh, Martha, is that all
you can talk about?

I can't help it.

I'm enthusiastic
about meeting Carlo.

Just remember that Carlo plays
a character en televisión.

He could be very different
in real life.

No way.

No one can pretend
to be that brave.

That reminds me of episode ,
when Carlo catches

a bank robber who's pretending
to be a security guard.

Oh! This is
so thrilling!

What should I say
when I meet him?

Should I say hello,
or should I speak in dog?

Martha, calm down.

You don't want
to be so enthusiastic

that you frighten Carlo.

(laughs):
Frighten Carlo?

Carlo isn't afraid
of anything!

Hey, everybody, look!

This dog talks!

(excited chatter)

Can I get
your autograph?

Um, I'm just here to see Carlo.

He's the star, not me!

(Carlo barks)

(whines)

Besides, I live here.

You can see me anytime.

And Carlo's on TV.

The talking dog's right.

Carlo's on TV!

(loud, overlapping chatter)

Way to go, Martha.

I feel really
bad about that.

Maybe there's a way I
can make it up to Carlo.

Hey, I know!

(camera shutter clicking)

MARTHA (giggling):
Hi.

Uh, my name is Martha, and I'm
your biggest fan on four legs!

I'm ecstatic
to finally meet you!

(barks)

Thanks! We all think
you're the greatest.

I'm really sorry about
what happened before.

Maybe this will
make up for it.

Okay!

(barks)
Oh, this is not good.

Carlo, baby!

Carlo,

come back!

Martha!

Helen!

(Barry panting)

Carlo!

(panting):
Oh, my goodness.

I'm so sorry;
I didn't mean to upset Carlo.

It's not your fault.

Why was Carlo
so afraid of the flowers?

It's a long story.
(phone rings)

Oh, excuse me.

Yeah, baby, talk to me.

I thought Carlo wasn't afraid
of anything.

I guess he was pretending
to be brave all along.

That's what
Carlo does,

Martha.

Remember, he's just playing
a role on his TV show.

BOY:
Did you see that?

Carlo's scared of flowers.

What kind of hero
is afraid of flowers?

What a
scaredy-cat.

I don't like
Carlo anymore.

He's not afraid.

Carlo's not afraid of anything.

Martha, it's okay.

I guess I'd better get
those flowers delivered.

I'll meet you at home.

Where are you going?

There's something
I have to take care of.

Carlo? Carlo?

Oh, did you see a
frightened-looking

courageous collie run past?

Carlo...

In episode ,
when Carlo runs away,

Bimmy finds him
behind a... tree.

Hi.

Remember me?
We just met.

Well, we kind of met and then
the thing happened and I'm...

Sorry, I'm a big fan.

(barks)

I had no idea you had
a fear of flowers.

(whimpers)

Oh, don't be
embarrassed.

There's nothing to
be embarrassed about.

(barks)

Oh, you're worried
about your reputation.

What's that?

(barks)

Your reputation is what
people think about you?

(barks)

You're afraid people will
think you're not brave.

(whimpers)

What does it matter what
other people think about you?

It's not like they're going
to say bad things about you

and tear up your posters
just because you're--

oh, wait.

(barks)

Uh, nothing, never mind.

Hmm, maybe you should find
a way to fix your reputation

by showing everyone
how brave you are.

Carlo, I think I know
how we can save your reputation.

Are you sure this is going
to work?

Of course.

All you have to do is
let Carlo scare you away

so everyone can see
how brave he is.

(barks)

Well, okay, but don't expect me
to climb up any trees.

We're only doing this
'cause it's for you, Martha.

Are you kidding?

I'm only doing this
'cause it's for Carlo.

Can I have your
paw-tograph later?

(barks)

What?

I'm a big fan.

Oh, no, whatever am I to do?

I said, "Oh, no,
whatever am I to do?"

Roar...!

(Truman snarling)

(roaring)

(barking)

Dad, Dad,

Carlo just chased away
that kid in a bear costume.

He's not just a scaredy-cat.

He's mean, too.

(whimpers)

(whistling)

Bobo.

W-Where's Bobo?

The bear is on the loose.

Don't worry,
Carlo.

We'll think
of something else.

What can Carlo do
to prove to everyone

that he's really brave?

Hmm...

(growls)

Shh, we're trying to think.

(growls)

Aah! Bear!

(all gasp)

(all scream)

Bear!

(Truman screaming)

That bear is chasing the
kid in the bear costume.

(screaming)

What are we going to do?

We have to
save Truman.

(barks)

I remember that episode,
but we don't have a bear cage.

(barks)

Or a bucket of fish.

(Truman screaming,
bear growling)

We'll have to find another way
to distract him.

(barks)

(shrieking)

(barking)

(growls)

I thought bears liked
picnic baskets.

Oh, poor Carlo.

He doesn't look very
courageous right now.

Enough is enough.

MARTHA:
Hey!

(barking angrily)

(growling)

Don't you growl at me.

Why don't you pick
on someone your own size?

(growls)

I don't care
if you were just playing.

You're upsetting my friends.

Now, go back home
before I go to the zoo

and tell them
what you've been up to.

(growling)

(barking)

Ah, no problem.

I just wish we could have
fixed your reputation.

Wait a minute.

That's it.

Hey, bear.

Hang on.
(growls)

(barking)

(all gasping)

(Carlo barking)

(cheering)

Wow, Carlo
really is brave.

Yeah.

Carlo saved all of us
from the bear.

We're lucky to have
such a courageous dog around.

He's the most amazing
dog I've ever seen.

Carlo, am I
glad to see you.

(barks)

Let's get going.

We've got a plane to catch.

(barking)

Aw, don't mention it.

(sighing):
Did you see that?

He licked me.

I'll never let you
wash me again.

But Martha,

he's not the brave, courageous
dog you thought he was.

Maybe not,
but he sure is handsome.

I'm as happy

as the badger Carlo
saved in episode

by burrowing
underground with a...

TRUMAN & MARTHA:
Flashlight.

(groans)

Ooh, my favorite
episode is the one

where Carlo builds a raft
out of nothing but...

MARTHA & TRUMAN:
Dog biscuits.

Today we're asking people
about being embarrassed.

"Embarrassed"
is when you feel bad

about what you've done
or how you've acted.

For instance,
I got embarrassed last summer

when I dove into the pool

but my swimsuit didn't.

That's embarrassing.

Let's find out
what embarrasses people.

Excuse me.

We're asking people
what embarrasses them.

What embarrasses you?

Umm...

For example,

you might be embarrassed
if someone read your diary

and knew all your
secret thoughts.

Umm...

Or you might
be embarrassed

if people found out your
middle name was Attila

or Dorcas or Nimrod.

So tell us: what
embarrasses you?

Being on TV!

How embarrassing!

Hello again.

Did you see all those
thrilling words?

Here they are again.

What's "astonishing" mean?

Exciting and amazing.

"Ecstatic" means that
we're very, very happy.

"Enthusiastic" means
you're really excited

or happy about something.

Then I guess
I am enthusiastic.

HELEN:
Truman!

Your mom wants you
to come home for dinner.

Awww!

It could be
a humongous glob

of radioactive k*ller
macaroni and cheese!

Great!

Good-bye!

To dig up some more fun words
and games, visit

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Cameo.

Come on, Cam!

My name is Mark.

Cameo is an agility dog.

An agility course is made
for training.

Cameo is good at agility

because she is very, very, very,
very intelligent.

She is very, very, very, very,
very, very wonderful.

* She's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *