03x10 - Martha Runs the Store

[bunniefuu]

* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre. *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks

* Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks *

* And speakWhat's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there.

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* ...hyperventilates!

* Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
* Martha speaks.

Hello.

Today's show is about exits,

which are doors
that lead outside.

Okay, let me out.

Okay, let me in.

And entrances,

which are doors
that lead you inside.

We also have words like "stuck,"
"trapped," and "captured."

Luckily, we also have words
like "escape" and "flee."

Watch for all the words
about entering and exiting,

and I'll see you
at the end of the show.

(Martha sighs)

I tell you, Skits,

summer doesn't get better
than this.

Outside in the sun,

a nice breeze blowing
through your fur.

The only thing we need
to make it perfect

is for some kid to drop his
ice cream on the ground.

Oh, I knew it
wouldn't last.

(whimpers)

(pants)

Helen's got to get the
exact right birthday present

for her mom, Skits.

You can't rush
things like that...

unfortunately.

(pants)

How do they look?

Nice, right?

Those are great.

I'll take them.

Oh, your mom
will love them.

I'll just wrap them up.

Oh, that's okay,
I should...

Oh, it won't take a second.

Uh, wrapping paper,
wrapping paper, uh, uh...

I don't usually work here,

but I'll find it.

(sighs)

(both panting)

(gasps)

Thank goodness.

Hurry, open the door,
hurry.

(sighs)

I can't take it, Skits.
I can't take it.

Skits?

Aah!
Skits, you're a genius.

Stay right there
in front of the entrance.

(barks)
No.

"Entrance" doesn't mean
cold air.

It means
where you go into the store,

where you enter it--
the entrance.

(barks, pants)

Stand there.

You have to stand
on the doormat

to keep the door open.

HELEN:
I'm sure it's fine.

I'll just take
them like that.

Oh, it won't take
another minute.

I'm just going
to add a little bow.

(gasps)

Myrtle!

As I live
and breathe.

How are you?

(groans)

(Martha laughing, Skits barking)

(both panting)

(man clears throat)

What do you two think
you're doing?

There are no dogs allowed
inside this store.

Got it?

No dogs allowed.

People only.

So don't even try to get
near these entrance doors.

Understood?

I got my eye on you.

Yikes.

You know my nephew,
don't you, Myrtle?

Well, I told him he--

Oh, uh, there you go.

All done.

Thanks.

Young people--
always in such a hurry.

Poor Martha and Skits.

They must be... boiling.

Oh, no.

There was a sign.
It said % off.

I saw it with my own eyes.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm going
to have to ask my manager.

(sighs)

(panting)
It's just not
fair, Skits.

You know what
we should do?

We should just march
through that entrance,

go right inside,

and tell those people
we have rights, too.

Well, we should
tell them

you shouldn't treat
a dog like this.

They should try sitting
outside on the hot...

Skits?

Skits, what are you doing?

(panting)

(barks)

No, Skits, no.

I was just talking.

Skits, it's against the rules
for dogs to go in there.

Skits?

(sighs)

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Skits?

Skits, where are you?

We have to go back outside.

Skits.

(gasps)

Nothing
to worry about, folks.

Just doing a little
price check up front.

No need to panic.

Huh?

Hmm?

What do you think
you're doing?

We're waiting
for our mom.

She's in line.

Uh-huh.

Well, let
me warn you:

I don't tolerate
troublemakers on my watch.

I got my eye on you.

(both gasp)

(sighs)

(sighs)

Skits.

(chomping)

(gasps)

Skits,
that's not real.

Skits. Hurry!

We have to flee.

You know, flee?

It means run away?

Come on, here we go.

We're fleeing.

Look at us, we're getting
out of here quick.

(barks)

Aah!

(crashing)

What was that,
what was that?

Disturbance
in accessories department.

Will investigate.

Repeat: will investigate.

(gasps)

Heavens to Betsy.

What happened here?

Don't worry.

I'll find out
who did this.

MARTHA:
Skits, hurry, this way.

Follow my voice.

Almost out.

Ow.

That's not the door.

Ugh!

Skits, come on,
this way.

I think
I've found the exit.

Ugh!

Aw, dang shawl.

Funny, this doesn't look
like an exit.

It looks like an... elevator.

(Martha gasps)

Oh, this is horrible.

We should be fleeing the store

and instead we're just
getting deeper in it.

(barks)

No, fleeing like running, not
like a flea you have to scratch.

(barks)

Yes, I know they
sound alike, but...

(barks)

Yes, okay, but we don't have
time for this discussion now.

We have to get away.

Well, I know I saw the sign.

Sorry, ma'am.

Have a
nice day.

Next, please.

(sighs)

(bell dinging)

If anyone catches
us inside,

Helen is going to be
very upset with us.

(groans)

Where are we now?

You think
this is a way out?

(barks)

Take that off.

(pants)

(barks)

Maybe we should
wait and see if...

(barks)

Wait, Skits.

No, Skits, that is not an exit.

Whew.

(door squeaks open)

Skits, hurry!

I'm keeping the door open!

(door squeaks shut)

(whines)

Skits! Skits!

(sighs)

(elevator bell dings)

(sighs)

So much for escaping.

Hello. May I help you?

Hmm.

(sighs)

(whispers):
Skits?

(Skits pants and whines)

(whining)

(whispering):
Skits, get down!

I can't open the door
if you're jumping on it.

(panting and whining)

(barking)

Skits, you're blocking the door.

Step back.

You're keeping it closed.

Step...

(thud)
(groans)

...back!

Okay, let's go.

Time to make our escape.

(panting)

(barking)
(door squeaking)

No, Skits.

Escape means to get out
of someplace, not in.

(slurping water)

Skits, this is no time
for a drink. Skits?

No kidding now.
(door squeaking)

We don't want
to get stuck... here.

(squeaking)

(sighs)

Whew!

Not bad, Martha.

Not bad.

(barks)

Slow down, Skits. Watch out!

(thudding)
MARTHA:
Ow!

No!

Ugh! Skits!

The door is closed!

(barks questioningly)

It's closed!
We're trapped!

There's no escape!

MAN (over intercom):
Attention, shoppers,

the store will be closing
in five minutes.

Please make
your final purchases.

Oh, no!

Looking for someone?

Yes, I have two hot dogs waiting
for me near the entrance,

but I don't see them anymore.

They must have moved
under a shady tree.

I don't think
hot dogs can move by themselves.

Huh?

What do we
do, Skits?

What do we do?

We're stuck
in here!

What if we
never get out?

What if we're trapped
inside here forever?!

This is exactly why every door
should have a doggy door.

(door closes,
footsteps approaching)

(gasps)

Skits, someone's
coming!

(door squeaks)

We escaped, Skits! We escaped!

I really thought we'd be trapped
in there all night!

(barks)
Hit the button.

(elevator bell dings)

Good dog!

(elevator bell dings)

(sighs)
We made it.

Now all we have to do
is get back outside

before Helen finds out,
and we'll be home free!

(barking)

I tell you, Skits,
that was one close...

(gasps)

Well, if you didn't
take those shawls,

then I'd like to know
where they are.

You mean those?

GUARD:
What in the heck?!

(laughs)

And I suppose

you didn't put those shawls
in the elevator, either!

Oh.

I'll get to the bottom of this.

(groans)

(sighs)

(barks)

You're right.

We really need
to start taking the stairs.

And don't let me catch you
causing trouble

around here again!

Martha?

Skits?

(elevator bell dings)

Okay.

I don't see anybody.

All right, Skits,
straight to the exit, okay?

(barks)

Here we go.

(light switches clatter)
(gasps)

(woofs questioningly)

Uh-oh.

Closed and locked for the night.

(sighs)

Time to relax.

Skits, I think
we're in trouble.

(whines)

(gulps)

* Da-da, da-da!

Superpooch!

Today, Superpooch is on the
scent of a sandwich,

trapped inside a bag.

Trapped means it can't get out.

It's stuck in a trap.

With no fear
for her own safety,

Superpooch scales the sheer side
of the kitchen bench thingie.

The sandwich appears
to be stuck inside the bag.

Stuck is like trapped.

It means
that the sandwich can't get out.

Don't worry, Sandwich!

Superpooch will get you out
of there!

(grunts)
(bag tearing)

(gulps)

HELEN:
My lunch bag!

I can't
believe it!

Wonder how long I'll be stuck
hiding behind this couch.

HELEN:
Martha, how could you?!

Ah...

You have a knack
for this, Daniel.

(phone ringing)

HELEN:
Hi, Dad.

Have you seen Martha and Skits?

No, haven't seen them
since you left, sweetie.

Where are you?

At the department store.

I left them by the entrance
while I got Mom's gift,

but when I came out,
they were gone.

Well, they're probably
just on their way home.

It's nothing to
worry about, Helen.

I'm sure they're fine.

(whines)

(barks)

(panting)

(barking and panting)

(panting and barking)

(whining)

It's no good, Skits.

They're turned off.

You can't get them
to open anymore.

(barks)

Shh! Shh! Quiet.

Come on, let's see
if there's another exit.

(barks)

MARTHA:
No, not an X.

An exit.

An exit is a
way to get out.

(barks)

Yes, okay,
you're right.

The skis do
make an X.

But we need to find an exit
before that guard finds us.

All right, rookie.

You've made it.

You're a security guard.

Congratulations.

You're on
duty at last.

Yup. On duty.

Rightie-o.

Now what do you do?

Relax? Have a
cup of coffee?

Put your feet up?

Oh, say, don't mind if I do.

Put down that coffee!

(gasps and screams)

You must never relax!

It's time for...

lesson -- capture the bad guy.

An intruder sneaks
into the place you're guarding.

What do you do?

Um, tell him to run along?

That's right!

It's up to you to
capture the intruder.

Capture. Hmm.

"Capture... the intruder."

If you capture someone,

that means you catch them and
keep them from running away.

"Capture means catch them..."

It's up to you,
Mr. Security Guard,

so he can't escape.guy

(gasps)

Slow down. Slow down.

I hope we find another door
before it's completely dark.

(Skits barks)

You found a door?

(door squeaks open)

(sniffing)

(Martha sighs)

Okay, yes,
that's a door,

but we need a door we
can fit through, Skits.

(sighs) How are we going
to get away from here

before Helen finds out
and starts worrying?

Come on, let's keep look... ing.

Skits? Skits, where are you?

(distant clatter)
(Martha sighs)

Skits?

Skits, what are you doing?

We have to get away from here.

We can't get distracted.

(barks questioningly)

Oh, distracted means...

(sniffing)

Oh, garbage!

HELEN:
Where are they?

They're sure
to be along.

Yeah, but it's not like
the two of them to run off,

especially when there's
going to be cake.

Hmm. You've got a point.

(munching)

Oh, delicious garbage.

Skits?

Skits? Skits, get
down from there.

(groaning)

Darn it, Skits.

Come on down from there. Skits!

Don't make me come up there.

(groans)

All right.

(grunts)

Skits, we can't get
distracted, you know?

Uh, distracted means--

oh, hey, this
feels nice.

Hmm...

Not bad at all.

(sighs) Nothing
like a soft bed

after a big
can of garbage.

(sighs)

I tell ya, Skits,

a dog could get
used to this kind of life.

No one making
you get off the bed,

no rules, and an abundant
supply of garbage.

What's not to like?

(yawns)

This is the life.

(snores)

MAN (on TV):
Criminals may be lurking
in your workplace,

waiting to catch
you off guard.

Right now.

At this very moment?

Maybe I should check
the security monitors.

(phone rings)
Ahh!

Alarm! Alarm!

No... phone.

Hello, Grimble's Department
Store.

(caller talking indistinctly)

Sorry, can't help you.

Store's closed.

Got to watch for intruders.

Intruders?

They're people
who sneak into places

even though they're
not supposed to be there.

Look, I can't be answering
a lot of silly questions now.

Call back when the store
is open, okay?

Bye, Mom.

Now, uh, where was I?

Oh, right.

Criminal
intruders may be

hiding in
the building now.

(snores)

(dramatic music plays)

HELEN:
Skits, help!

Help!

I'm being menaced
by a giant squirrel.

(barks)

(whimpers)

(chittering)
(Skits barks)

Good boy, Skits.
Good boy.

Woof!

Yay, Skits!

(yelps)

(howls)

MAN (on tape): Intruders could
be lurking about...

(clattering)
It's them! It's them!

It's the intruders!

Intruder alert!
Intruder alert!

Aah!

Ow!

Aha!

Where are you?

Oh, I know
you're here someplace.

You'll never
get away from me.

Maybe we should just
hide here all night.

HELEN:
Martha!

Martha! Skits!

Where are you?

We should be home
as soon as we locate

Martha and Skits, honey.

They have to be here somewhere.

We need to find
an exit, Skits.

Come on, let's go.

(Martha groans)

No exit here.

(whispers):
Come on, this way.

(thuds, yelps)

Aha!

Yikes.

Where are you?

I heard your voice.

It's no good trying to hide.

Hmm, must be
hearing things.

I thought I heard
you say something.

(chuckles)

(whispers):
Skits? Psst, Skits?

GUARD:
Aha!

Ooh, we have intruders,
all right.

Skits? Where are you hiding?

There you are.

(pants, whimpers)

Come on, Skits,
leave that alone.

We have to get
out of here.

HELEN:
Martha!
Skits!

Helen!

What do we do?
What do we do?

(whines)

(gasps)

Aha! Now I have you.

Come out and show yourself.

(barks)

Look, Skits! An exit.

That sign means exit.

We made it! We made it!

Quick, push the bar!

Skits?

(whimpers)

No, Skits, don't!

(whirring)

(barking)

Huh?

(barking)

Take cover! Take cover!

(loud crash)
Uh-oh.

Skits, stop playing.

Helen's outside looking for us.

Come on, the door's over there.

Hmm, I wonder
what that symbol means.

(alarm blares)

Oh...

Ah!

The emergency exit!

Where'd they go?
Where'd they go?

That was close, Skits.

And look, it's Helen.

Hi, Helen.
Boy, are we happy to see you!

Martha! Skits!

Dad! I found them!

I'm so happy
to see you two!

We looked all over.

Where were you?

Um... well, it's kind
of a long story.

GUARD:
Aha! Caught you.

Oh, well, I knew it was
too good to be true.

You were in that store
just now, weren't you?

Huh? Whew! Saved.

They were right
here with me.

A likely story!

I'm sorry to inform
you, ma'am,

but you have
intruders for sons.

You two thought
I couldn't capture you

if you made
it to the exit.

Well, you can't avoid me!

Now, which one of
you is "Skits"?

Don't play games.

I heard you in there.

(clearing throat)

It wasn't them.

Huh?
They weren't
in the store.

I was. Me and Skits.
He's that dog over there.

We know it's
against the rules,

but we were just
trying to cool off,

and we got locked in.
Sorry.

A talking dog?

I'm working too hard.

You did the right
thing, Martha.

I hope you didn't
open any presents yet.

We'll be there
in a minute, honey.

You two must be
getting hungry by now.

Uh, yeah, sort of.

(barks)

We got a little
distracted in there.

Distracted means...

Oh, squirrel!

(Skits barks)

HELEN:
Martha! Skits!

Mom's waiting for us.

Distracted means you're
not paying attention

to what's important.

Like chasing a squirrel
when you should be heading home.

That's getting distracted.

Right. Hey!

You know what you should get Mom
for her next birthday?

One of those
nice, fluffy mattresses.

(barks agreeably)

Yeah, and a fan,

and a big garbage can
full of ice cream wrappers.

Yeah, Mom would really
like that, Martha.

Well, I'm just
trying to be original.

Hey, look at that dog.

I think I'll say
hello to him.

I would avoid that dog.

"Avoid"?

Avoid means to stay away
from something.

Yes, and I would avoid that dog.

Is he mean?

No, he's nice.

Why should I avoid him?

Does he have fleas?

No, but I would flee
if I got too close to him.

Is he scared?
Will I scare him?

No, he's not scared.

He's kind of funny,
actually.

Funny?

Yeah, he's funny.

But I would avoid
him if I were you.

Well, I'm going to go
say hello.

Hi, what's your name?

(zany music plays)

See? It's a cartoon dog.

It has a weird
sense of humor.

Mmm, delicious.

I should have avoided that.

Did you catch all the words

about entering
and exiting?

About being trapped and fleeing?

Here they are again.

No, entrance
doesn't mean cold air.

It means where you go
into the store.

An exit is a way
to get out.

No, Skits, escape means

to get out
of someplace, not in.

We have to flee!

You know, flee.
It means run away.

Bye! See you next time.

Uh, can you let me out?

To dig up some more fun words
and games, visit

* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Decota.

I got Decota at MSPCA Angell.

They have an adoption center
there.

WOMAN:
Do you want to take
that dog for a walk?

Yeah.

WOMAN:
So you're all set.
You can bring Decota home.

Puppies need exercise.

The best thing about
having a puppy is

that you have someone
to play with.

* He's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *