01x03 - Train

[bunniefuu]

Hey, guitar player Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How to laugh and dance Whether you're a pancakes Or waffles man We still got a whole lot left to learn If you only knew If you only knew We'll do something new Start a snowball fight in June If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic If you only knew How the game has changed You'd think it's kind of nice Even when it rains But take any advice With a grain of salt If you only knew If you only knew Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic [narrator]

Last time we saw Guy, Sam just roused him awake, revealing to him he was bound for a Lake! Whoa! [screaming]

Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh! [sighing and gasping]

Aloha, amigo! [groans]

[grunting]

What just hap Ugh! - No need to thank me.

- What? I did just save you from a car about to plunge into a lake.

You were driving the car! Technically, not at the time.

Why did you drive your car into a lake? Oh [chuckles]

It wasn't my car.

It belonged to the BADGUYS.

They would've tracked it, so I had to lake it.

[grunts]

What's important is that nobody got hurt.

Everybody's safe.

- Hey, kids! - Daddy! - [rumbling]

- Did it just get dark all of a sudden? [screams]

Swim for your life! - Go, go, go! - [all screaming]

[sobbing]

No harm, no foul.

That's what I say.

What's wrong, buddy? [Guy]

My briefcase was in the car.

[Sam]

Oh, no! It had your cool invention thingy in it.

What is that gizmo? It looked genius.

It's a useless contraption, and I'm glad it's gone.

In fact, I never wanna see it again.

There it is right now! [Sam]

We should take it with us.

[Guy groans]

Just leave it.

I'm gonna go get it.

If we keep arguing, we're gonna miss the train.

Huh? - [water splashes]

- What train? [whistle blows]

Listen, Sam, it's time we went our separate ways.

Sam? Sam? [Sam]

Relax, best friend! I'm right here! This guy! Only gone two seconds, and he already misses me.

Matey! [giggles]

Here is your ticket, and here is your change.

That's my wallet.

I figured I deserved a ticket for saving your life.

Good news! We've got 77 bruckles left.

- We? There is no we! - [train bell ringing]

- [train conductor]

All aboard! - This is so us.

As soon as this train ride is over, we are going our separate ways forever.

We better not be sitting next to each other.

[giggles]

I wouldn't dream of it.

[whistle blows]

Across is much better.

This way, we get to look right at each other when we chat.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.

And there.

[whispering]

I just saw your soul.

[groans]

[children laughing]

[upbeat classical music playing]

[laughing]

Best day ever! - This Bar Car looks super fun! - [bracelets beeping]

Exactly.

Stay close.

Like I have a choice.

- [sighs]

- [children laughing]

I love this train! [mom fish]

Is everyone here? Let's get a head count.

- Can we get more blankets over here? - [teeth chattering]

One Fish, Two Fish, and there's Red Fish, and Blue.

- Oh, everyone's okay.

- Brrr.

[narrator]

McWinkle and Gluntz were hot on the trail.

A clue had just put them on Sam and Guy's tail.

Good news for BADGUYS, the targets weren't far.

The bad news, however I loved that car.

[growls]

Hey, somebody lose a Last Job Special? He loved that sandwich.

[growls]

[dramatic music plays]

[sniffs]

Chickeraffe.

They have the animal.

Allow me to confirm, sir.

[sniffs]

[laughs]

It is a Chickeraffe feather.

Yes.

Now we just need to figure out which way they went.

Right.

Probably switched modes of transportation.

Hey! Do you know if there are any other modes of transportation nearby? - [shouting]

What? - [shouting]

I said - [train whistle blares]

- are there any other modes of transportation nearby? [train whistle blares]

- [man grunts]

- Tell me.

- Huh? - Where's the next stop? [sniffs]

Mmm.

I don't know about you, but I find train travel to be [sips]

very relaxing.

[Michellee laughs]

Just for fun.

But just look at no one and talk to no one.

Uh, uh-huh.

[chuckles]

- [briefcase rattling]

- Huh? Excuse me, mister, your briefcase is rattling.

Oh, thanks.

I must've left it on rattle.

Switching off rattle mode.

Beep, boop, boop, beep, boop, boop.

And I turned it off.

[chuckles]

E.

B.

, what's the order in which we don't talk to people? Bohemians, thrill-seekers, and strangers.

[sighs]

[Sam clears throat]

Well, allow me to unstranger myself.

I am Sam, Sam-I-Am.

This is my best friend in the whole world, Guy.

[chuckles]

Hey, wait a minute.

You're that sad and dangerous inventor who wanted to strap expl*sives to my child's back.

And the deranged lunatic from the side of the road.

[giggles]

That's him! And we are officially unstrangered.

Hup, hup, hup! So, allow me to buy you lunch.

No, that's not really necessary.

Whoa! [grunts]

[exhales and giggles]

- [chuckles nervously]

- [groans]

Ugh.

Well, I'll have the green eggs and ham.

What do you say, Guy? Give 'em a try? You'd like 'em on a train.

I would not like them on a train.

Oat toast.

Dry.

One Sad Man's Delight.

Just three orders for me and my gal pals then.

Thanks.

You're a prince.

Green eggs and ham? Gross.

Yeah! [laughs]

- What? - No, it's just, um You're a smart child.

You have life figured out.

Trying new things is the road to disappointment.

Let me explain.

Let's say you try something new, you might not like it.

Or worse, maybe you're allergic to it.

You develop a rash.

You keep scratching, and it keeps spreading, until eventually, you're more rash than person.

People start to call you "rash girl" behind your back.

Worst part is, you don't do anything to stop it, because deep down, you know you have become Rash Girl.

All because you wanted to try something new.

Are you Rash Girl? No! I was talking about her! [whispering]

Pretty sure he's Rash Girl.

[Chickeraffe warbling]

Hmm.

Uh, take care of the bill, okay, pal? With more of my own money.

If you insist! Have fun in Meepville! [groans]

[classical violin plays]

Your Cronies should be here any minute, Mr.

Snerz.

[Snerz]

Fantastic! How do I look? I'm doing casually intimidating.

Is it working? Oh, yes.

Very casual.

Very intimidating.

Superlative! [Flerz yelping]

They are my best friends.

So, when they get here, I want you to make them as uncomfortable as possible.

[knocking on door]

[grunts]

Okay.

[clears throat]

Mr.

Snerz, presenting your Cronies! [grunts]

Money, money, money, money Welcome, Cronies! Hello, Snerz.

Haven't seen you around the club lately.

Snerzy, I hope you're not trying to impress us with that casually intimidating pose.

No.

I am trying to impress you with this! My rare animal collection! [grunts]

[Snerz]

Bah-bah-bah! It's okay.

I've got two of those in my backyard.

They ate my cantaloupes.

I had a litter of those last week.

Gave them away in a cardboard box.

I gave mine away in a gold box.

I gave mine away with a car and driver.

Both gold.

The point is, Snerz, we're not impressed.

Sorry, Snerzy, old bean.

Maybe someday you'll find a way to wow us.

[Cronies laugh]

Well you're about to be! [table whirring]

A Chickeraffe? But there are only 17 of them left in the world! And one of them is headed this way.

[laughs]

[soothing music plays]

I could watch you watch paint for days.

I thought we agreed No talking.

Right, sorry.

It's just you, sir, have a gift.

[Chickeraffe warbles]

[grunts]

[warbling continues]

No.

No! But he seems so restless.

He's been cooped up in here for hours.

There are people everywhere.

Don't let him out.

[whimpering]

[sighs]

I'm leaving to find some quiet.

[groans]

[groans]

[Chickeraffe whining]

[Guy]

Don't do it! [whining continues]

What was that? Totally do it? All right.

[chuckles]

[screeches]

[warbles]

That should make you feel better.

[giggles]

- [chuckles]

- [warbling]

[Sam laughs]

- [panting]

- Somebody needs some fresh air.

[grunting]

[laughs]

[chirping]

- [laughs]

- [warbles]

[gasps]

Guy Junior! [sighs]

[narrator]

Michellee headed off to take care of some work, knowing E.

B.

was as safe as a Flurk in a Glurk.

[exhales]

[sighs]

[Sam]

Here, buddy! Where're ya hiding, big fella? [giggles]

[Sam]

Guy Junior? Guy Junior? [screams]

I mean, hi, E.

B.

[chuckles]

Where's your mom? In the Boring Car being boring.

What are you doin' up there? - Funny you should ask.

- [Chickeraffe warbles]

I'm, uh sleepwalking.

Wow! What a crazy dream this is! I am so not awake right now.

[gasps]

[laughing]

Oh! [grunts]

[laughs]

[grunting]

[screams]

- Heyo.

- Whoa! What are you I mean, if your mom knows you're up here, she will My mom says 90% of all train accidents occur inside the train.

So, technically, I'm safer up here with you.

[chuckles]

Sounds pretty airtight, kid.

[screams]

[Chickeraffe snoring]

- All right, let's get you back down.

- [E.

B.

]

I know why you came up here.

You do? Yeah.

It's beautiful.

I know I'm supposed to be in bed, but is it okay if I stay with you for just one more minute? [narrator]

Sam was no longer in such a rush.

When he looked at E.

B.

, his heart turned to mush.

He sat down and gazed at the moon with her then.

Just like Sam, E.

B.

was in need of a friend.

[Sam]

It really is nice up here.

Man, it feels good to be untucked for once.

[sighs]

My mom is totally gonna detect whimsy, but I don't care.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

Your mother, she is a little Overprotective? Uh-huh.

Look what she makes me wear.

[bracelet beeping]

[sighs]

Moms.

When I was a kid, if my mom was upset with me, she'd call me by my full name.

"Samuel-I-Amuel, put down that chainsaw.

" [chuckles]

You know, she just wants to keep you close, keep you safe, and that's good.

I guess.

But she's not very adventurous.

Don't get me wrong.

Train roofs are fun but your family that's the biggest adventure of all.

I guess we should probably get back down now.

Five more minutes? [chuckles]

All right.

- [upbeat music playing]

- [people cheering]

- [woman]

We're going to Meepville! - [man]

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Is there anywhere on this train to watch paint in peace? [classical music playing]

- Whoa! - [water splashes]

Whoa! [grunting]

Whoa! [grunts]

[groaning]

Who puts a swimming pool in the middle of a car? - [model train whistle blows]

- Huh? Huh? Hmm.

What the Huh? Huh? [model train whistle blows]

[yelps]

[shudders]

[exhales]

[classical music playing quietly]

[sighs]

8,405.

8,406.

- [man slurping]

- [page rustles]

[slurping]

- [page rustles]

- [laughs heartily]

[Michellee]

Ugh.

[chuckles softly]

8,407.

- [slurping]

- [page rustles]

Shh! Huh? Wha? [slurps]

[grunting]

[scoffs]

Bah.

- Heh.

- [both chuckle]

Eight thousand Hmm.

[clears throat]

[whispering]

Thank you.

8,408.

8,409.

8,410.

They should just put the seats up here.

Oh! And over there, they could have a hot tub.

Get this! With a slide and a [gasps]

Loop! Oh, I love a loop.

- No! A loop! - [screams]

[screams]

Let's go! [grunting]

It's stuck! [bracelet]

Please say the password.

[E.

B.

]

Safety? Bedtime? Um, Brussels sprouts! Oh! It's not working! - Sam! - [Sam screams]

[both screaming]

[screams]

Mom! [both grunting]

[both screaming]

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! [laughs]

If that's not a sh*t of life, I don't know what is.

[chuckles]

Oh.

You're still stuck.

I know.

I haven't cracked the password.

[beeping]

[bracelet]

The password is "password.

" Total Mom move.

Speaking of which, let's get you back inside.

- Oh, no! - [gasps]

[both scream]

Turn the bracelet back on! [E.

B]

I'm trying! I should've listen to my mom! [both scream]

[Sam panting]

[chirping]

Guy Junior! You saved us! [chirping]

Is that Is that a real Chickeraffe? [chirps]

This is the greatest night of my life! [laughs]

[sighs]

[Guy]

Hmm.

[gasps]

[gasps]

Hmm.

Huh.

- [clears throat]

- Whoa! Oh.

[chuckles]

I'm sorry about your death trap blowing up.

Oh, it's fine.

I'm transitioning to Paint Watching.

Safe, steady, suits me better.

Really? I classified you as a well, a dangerous type.

Oh, no, I'm safe.

Dangerously safe.

But your travel buddy, Sam, he doesn't seem safe.

We're not buddies, travel or otherwise.

We just ended up sitting next to, or across from each other.

Oh.

You and your daughter headed up to see Mr.

, uh, you? [chuckles]

There's no Mr.

Me.

Oh.

I'm on a business trip.

The SnerzDay Gala.

Certainly couldn't leave E.

B.

back in Glurfsburg.

Not with that dangerous Chickeraffe on the loose.

I haven't heard about that.

Oh! It's really It's all over the news.

Chickeraffe fever.

What's, uh, a, uh, chickeroo? [stammers]

A chickera? A Chickeraffe.

Shh! Shh! Shush! [mocking chatter]

Zip! [groans]

[grumbles]

[slurping]

- [page rustles]

- [Big Blue Guy grumbles]

[both laughing]

You're great with him.

You must have a lot of pets.

No.

- Woop! - [grunts]

My mom won't let me have any.

[chirps]

[purring]

[E.

B.

laughs]

Well, as a Wildlife Protection Agent safely transporting this guy here to Meepville, I'm gonna need help.

Therefore, I declare you an official guardian of this Chickeraffe.

Oh, my gosh! Can I name him? Do the honors.

There are a few options already on the table.

Guy Junior is a popular favorite.

Possibly Feathers, Raff Raff - Mr.

Jenkins.

- [warbles]

Uh, Guy has really been pushing for Guy Junior, so maybe - Mr.

Jenkins! - [warbles]

Mr.

Jenkins it is! - [warbles]

- [door opens]

- Huh? - [Michellee]

And after Bland Canyon, E.

B.

and I are going to the World's Smallest Thermometer.

That sounds like a hoot.

Your mom and my very grumpy best friend in the whole wide world are headed this way.

You better get to bed.

I'll handle Mr.

Jenkins.

[Michellee]

Then maybe stop at the World's Largest Cotton Ball.

Oh, sounds amazing.

Yeah, it's gonna be so much fun.

Well, uh, night then.

It was nice chatting quietly with you.

Not quietly enough.

Shh.

[chuckles]

[both mock Big Blue Guy]

- [both laugh]

- [Guy sighs]

[narrator]

Tell her.

Do something! [chuckles]

[narrator]

He's getting away.

[chuckles]

[narrator]

They're both scared the other won't feel the same way.

Safe travels to Meepville.

Same to you.

[narrator]

Oh, well.

Let's hope they get there someday.

Mmm.

[chuckles]

[screams]

[sighs]

My perfect angel.

[door opens and closes]

[sighs]

[inhales]

[exhales]

[screams]

Hoot hoot, Mr.

Night Owl.

[groans]

Huh, you didn't let it out.

Of course not.

When my buddy speaks, I listens.

Tremendous.

So you'll listen when I say I'm exhausted.

Me too.

Goodnight, Guy.

Gotta ask.

Which car was your favorite? 'Cause I think I know which one you're gonna say, - but I'm not totally sure - The Quiet Car.

Because it was quiet.

Good night, Sam.

[owl hoots]

[snoring]

[chirping]

[purring]

- [moans]

- [purring]

[exhales]

[chirps]

[chirps]

Ah! Oh! [grunts]

Oh! - [warbling]

- Ah! Hi! I just came by to see how Mr.

Jenkins is doing.

Mr.

Jenkins? Yeah! That's what she named the Chickeraffe.

You're a sleepy boy.

Yes, you are.

You needed your rest after all that excitement on top of the train last night.

With the loop-de-loop and the almost dying Child, Sam and I need to have an adult conversation, so if you wouldn't mind Oh, no prob.

[hums]

I'll check ya later.

You told her about the Chickeraffe? No, E.

B.

found out on her own.

Yeah, she's a real smart one, that one.

[chuckles]

But don't worry.

She won't tell anyone.

[gasps]

- [E.

B.

]

Hey, Mom.

- [Michellee]

Ready for breakfast, kiddo? [narrator]

Only one anyone mattered to Guy.

If Michellee found out, she'd know he had lied.

By the way, hope you don't mind, I helped myself to your toothbrush.

Well, our toothbrush, am I right? Our toothbrush? There is no our toothbrush.

There is no our anything! What do you mean? We're a team.

Dream team! Oh, I wish this was a dream.

But you have turned my life into a nightmare.

Because of you, I'm a felon, I nearly drowned, and you've stolen my wallet at least three times! Every moment I'm with you is a disaster! So I'm leaving.

Now.

Bye.

But But! - [whimpers]

- [sighs]

[squawks sadly]

Don't worry, big fella.

He'll come back.

[McWinkle]

Good morning.

You're going down, target! - No, no, no, no! - Smash to black! Hey, guitar player New York's number-one cut creator Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, speed skater T-t-t-t-take a right Let's put an ad in the papers Uh Backflip You know what to do Ooh Backflip You know what to do Ooh, let your freak flag fly Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic Let me work my magic Watch me backflip Watch me backflip Let me work my magic