01x07 - Vacant Lot

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Wild Thornberrys". Aired: September 1, 1998 - June 11, 2004.*
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Eliza travels the world with her unusual family, as her parents make wildlife films.
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01x07 - Vacant Lot

Post by bunniefuu »

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom
and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin?
He found us.

( Jabbering )

Oh, yeah, about our house--
it moves.

'Cause we travel
all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts
this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

( Panting )

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Captioning sponsored by the
u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

Wow, an egret.

Say cheese.

Gotcha.

I wonder what else
we'll find out here.

( Cat snarls )

Look out!

( Yowling )

They didn't even notice us.

Next time
I'll wear ketchup.

It's just weird.

They looked scared.

( Insects buzzing and humming )

( Mumbling )

Sorry.

As I was saying...

Few animals can match
the marvelous adaptability

Of these tiny fish,
the anableps.

( Gobbledygook
as tape runs backwards )

This looks terrific.

Yes, I can see my face.

( Takes deep sniff )

Oh, and it smells
like springtime.

I mean the show,
nigel.

It's almost perfect

But we're still
two minutes short.

Two minutes.

I know. What do you say
we have a little look

At the local fungi?

How about it, deb?

Want to come and see
some absolutely smashing mold?

Gee, dad.

Uh... No.

( Ice cubes rattle )

Oh, very well.

Bye-bye, then.

( Yipping )

( Groans )

( Pants )

( Babbling )

Ooh, ha-ha-hi!

That's it!

Don't you have something to do

Like, maybe evolve?

Radio guide.

Hmm.

( Gasps )

4:00 P.m. Rock talk, no way!

"Host billy hutton
spends the afternoon

With the new generation's
brightest star, des broding."

Des broding, no way!

( All squawking and screeching )

( Shrieking )

( Animals all a-twitter )

Something's going on.

Why are these
animals so scared?

( Bird squawks, darwin yells )

Who cares? Let's go.

( Gasps )

( Twittering, panting )

( Snorting )

What's wrong?

What's happening?

Got to go.

The giant thing
destroying the forest.

( Panting )

( Panting )

Listen.

I don't hear
anything.

Doesn't that strike you
as weird?

( Gasps )

Oh, no.

Eliza:
it's over here!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, nigel.

This is terrible.

This is a national forest,
or it was.

Dad, you got to do something
right away.

We shall contact
the brazilian government

And put and end
to this today.

( Humming... )

( Laughs softly )

( Tuning radio )
dad, what are
you doing?

Sorry, dearest.

Have to ring up
the park service.

I've got a bit of a problem.

So do i, you're
using the radio.

Shouldn't take a minute,
deborah.

All we need is some sort of,
any, some...

Did you reach them, dad?

I'm afraid not,
eliza.

Having a bit of a
problem with the radio.

( Gasps )

Aha. Unless I miss my guess

These are the tooth marks

Of an amazonian titmouse.

You mean some little rat ate
my last link to civilization?

Both:
do something, dad!

Nigel, what can we do?

We'll pay a visit
to the nearest ranger station.

Much more personal than
that radio, wouldn't you say?

But isn't the closest ranger
station outside rio bronco?

Yes.

Kids, stay put.

Your father and I
will be back by dinner.

I can totally have this
fixed by show time.

( Door closes )

( Birds chattering overhead )

( Gasps )

Darwin, look!

That must be
what's eating the forest.

What is it?

I don't know...

But we're
going to find out.

I'm sorry I asked.

( Inquisitive babbling )

Touch it, and they won't even
find your shadow.

Ow!

Ooh!

Oh!

( Gibbering )

( Distant clanking )

Sounds like
some kind of machine.

It's that way.

Come on!

( Roaring and twittering )

( Screeching )

Listen to me, listen!

Run for the stream.

You'll be safe there.

( Gasps )

Hmm.

Brilliant luck.

This should save us
over an hour.

Ready, darling?

Of course.

Look out.

( Groans )

( Cackling )

Isn't it wonderful, marianne?

We're seeing the world just
as it's seen by the giant sloth.

( Gasping )

Oh.

( Whimpering )

Look, marianne.

I'm a sloth.

Look how slowly I move.

( Panting )

Ah.
Ooh!

Announcer:
welcome back to rock talk.

Yes!
If you just tuned in,
you picked a good time.

Here with me in the studio
is des broding.
Oh, des.

If you checked out the article
on des in teenage wasteland

You already know about him.

"He speaks for disaffected teens
the world over."

...for disaffected teens
the world over

But I'm getting a little heavy.

( Static begins )
hey, des, what's up?

( Yelps )

( Echoing ):
nooooo!

( Birds screech )

( Gasps )

( Snorts )

( Snorting )

( Snorts)
what are you doing?

Tapir:
I'm going to fight this thing.

( Blades whirring )

What'd you do
that for?

I had him
just where I want him.

You can't just
jump in there
by yourself.

Well, what am I
supposed to do

Let the thing
destroy my home?

Think you could
chase it away?

You need brains to stop it.

You think you can do better?

Yeah, just watch.

( Panting )

( Whirring )

Another forest, another fortune.

My genius never ceases
to amaze me.

Who doesn't love
back scratchers?

( Gasping )

Stop that.

Excellent.

No, wait.

I missed a spot.

( Panting )

( Straining )

Kip o'donnell
and neil biederman.

( Screaming )

( Spluttering )

Two more hours saved!

Smashing progress.

Great short cut, dear.

We're over halfway there.

Ready, darling?

That's the spirit.

Tally ho!

That's the best
you can do?

Let me show you
how it's done.

Wait!

( Grunts )

Ohhh!

I couldn't do it.

You got farther than I did.

Wait a second.

( Groans )

( Rumbling )

( Screeches )

( Screams )

Electric tape, duct tape,
video tape, come on, mom.

Where do you keep those fuses?!

( Rattling and clanking )

( Cackles )

( Buzzes )

( Tuning )

And we're back.

Des, I know you had
a few things you wanted to say

Especially to teens
who are listening

Via short-wave radio out there

Maybe in the middle
of nowhere...

Oh...
( Static begins )

( Buzzes )

Wait, come back!

( Gasps )

( Metal snaps )

( Screams )

( Squeaks )

What did I ever
do to you?

I don't even know what you are.

Oh....

Okay.

If I was an antenna

And I wasn't destroyed
by... A thing

( Squeaks )

I'd be... In the closet.

Darwin?

Donnie!

( Jabbering )

Donnie,
where's darwin?

( Jabbers )

Darwin:
help! Eliza! Help!

( Panting )

( Yelps )

( Pants )

Eliza:
darwin!

Eliza!

( Saw buzzing )

( Darwin muttering )

( Gasping )

( Grunts )

Dar, are you all right?

Who, me?

I'm fine,
why do you ask?

Dar, guess what?

Who, me?

Never been better.

We figured out
how to stop this thing.

( Whirring and buzzing )

( Screams )

( Humming... )

( Panting and
groaning... )

Oh.

Marianne:
"closed

For renovation."

Oh, pity.

But it says there's
a station in yapacani.

Off we go!

No!

Nigel, over the years

I have followed you
into the crater at krakatoa

Got lost
in the great western erg

And contracted who-knows-what
in that indian restaurant
in london

And in the last two hours,
I've gone off a cliff

Over a waterfall,
and into a pond full of piranha.

But I am not going
to capayani!

Um, it's yapacani,
actually.

( Growling )

( Sobbing weakly )

Marianne, that's it!

I don't know why I didn't
think of it before.

When in rome, eh, darling?

Oh, no.

What are they doing?

Everybody cool it!

This is eliza.

She's going to help us
with that thing

That's destroying
our homes.

Can you
stop it?

No. Nobody can
by themselves.

But if we all just...

Shh, listen.

( Clanking... )

( Growling )

( Screeching )

( Animals calling excitedly )

( Jabbers )

It's heading this way!

Run!

No, wait, we can stop it,
if we work together!

What can we do?

I can climb.

You have terrific claws.

You can squeeze.

I can eat berries.

And you can bite.

And you can kick.

And eat berries.

( Clanking comes closer )

So all we have to do
is work together, right?

( All call in agreement )

( Still banging
drum... )

And, in conclusion...

My best to your lovely wife,
katarina... Oops...

I mean catalina.

Let's go.

May, may, maybe I'd better
just stay here with donnie.

You know, make sure
he stays out of trouble.

That machine kind of
freaked you out, huh?

No, it's just a couple
of gears and wheels...
And whirling blades!

It's all right, dar.

I'll meet you back here.

( Static )

Well, loyal followers...

Yes, yes, yes!

Until next week,
this is rock talk, signing off.

But don't split, 'cause coming
up next is lawn care tips
with murray olson.

No, no, no!

Next, colombia.

Then panama, and costa rica,
nicaragua, honduras

El salvador, guatemala, mexico,
and finally...

Yosemite.

Can we stop in fresno?

I got a cousin there.

( Growls )

Whoa!

What's this?

Ah, the thornberry girl.

Looks like she wants to fight.

This should be amusing.

Now!

( Animals screeching
and calling... )

( Both yelling )

We're doing it!

( Chattering )

( Yelling... )

( Yells )

( Gasps )

( Yelling )

( Snarls )

( Jabbering... )

( Groaning )

( Donnie jabbering... )

( Eliza screaming )

Eliza.

( Gasps )

Give it up,
little miss thornberry.

You're lucky I'm in too much
of a hurry to stop and collect
some nice fur coats.

( Laughing... )

What are we going to do now?

I don't know.

( Donnie jabbering )

Follow me.

( Donnie yells )

We're back.

Great! You have a plan?

No.

Okay.

Everybody, together this time.

att*ck!

( Animals whooping,
calling and screeching )

( Both yelling... )

( Yells )

( Screeching... )

Oh, no!

( Screeching )

Mmm... Berry.

Hey, thanks.

( Gasps )

( All cheering... )

( Grunting and yelling... )

Ouchy... Ouch!

( Yelling )

( Animals growling... )

( Yelling... )

Nice work, thornberry.

Clever using those drums.

And, uh, catalina says hello.

Well, I guess we're going.

You were great back there.

Thanks.

Thanks, for what?

Helping with the machine.

Helping?!

Why, if it wasn't for me...

And you...

And all the other animals...

We did it together.

You're right.

Thanks for your help.

No... ( Giggles )
thank you.

No, thank you.

No... I got to go.

Oh, look, dear.

It's eliza

Stepping out
from the middle
of the mayhem.

Do... Eliza...
Mayhem?

Um, mom, uh, I can explain
why we're here. You see...

Later, dear.

Your mother needs
to lie down.

Yes. What do you say
we head back to the comvee?

Nigel:
eliza, has darwin done
something new with his hair?
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