02x04 - Three Days of the Mom-dor

[bunniefuu]

[orchestral pop theme song playing]

♪ A secret story
Somewhere in time ♪

♪ An unsolved mystery
Playing in your mind ♪

♪ A time for action
A fire we must light ♪

♪ A new beginning
A tale we must write ♪

♪ So come with me
It's now or never ♪

♪ So come with me
Let's do this together ♪

♪ Come with me
On this adventure ♪

♪ Come with me
Let this last forever ♪

♪ So come with me ♪

Ah.

[narrator] After Trousers
punched holes in her boat,

Pam's having a hard time staying afloat.

- [dolphacuda snarls]
- [Pam grunts]

[narrator] And with those things
out there, the danger is double.

[underwater expl*si*n]

[narrator] There's no use denying,
Pam's in really…

Big trouble.

[breathing heavily]

[intense music playing]

Oh no.

[chirping]

[fireworks cracking]

Huh?

[chirping]

That's right, you filthy sea rats!
Keep swimming!

- Sam?
- All right, boys.

[amplified] Power ten in two.

One, two.

Porter, you're late at the catch.

Sloan, legs.

Hurry, before they come back.

You came back for me.

Yep, no worries.

Look, Sam, about before…

No need to mention it.

Now, I'll let you get back
to completing your "solo mission."

Sam...

I don't wanna get in the way
and mess things up for you.

I'll just mosey on back to Glurfsburg…

[Pam] Sam, please don't think that way.

[Sam] …motherless, as always.

Why is it so hard for people
to just express their true feelings?

- Instead of playing games with each other.
- Really, Porter? You want to do this now?

[sighs] No, Sam, you're coming with me.

No one to nurture me…

Uh, to the what? To the OMG!

But only because you know too much.

If the Zooks captured you,

they'd break you faster than
a green egg on a concrete sidewalk.

I'm bringing you along because
I have to. It's a necessary evil.

Whoo-hoo! I am necessary!

Whoo-hoo!

This is so exciting!

I love living the spy life with my mom.

- Whoa!
- What are you doing?

This is a stakeout!

[sighs] Sam, if you're going to be a spy…

Yes?

…you need to act like one.

You've got to be calm, quiet,
almost completely invisible.

Way less you, way more me.

Got it. Pew-pew. Pew-pew.

Totally like you. [Clicks tongue]

We'll work on it.

[beeping]

Oh…

[binoculars whirring]

[Pam] Hello, Trousers.

[narrator] It's Pam's spy rival,
Philip Trousers in the house.

And over there,
the lovely Miss Marilyn Blouse.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

[Sam giggling] Spying is so much fun.

- Sam.
- Right, right, right.

Less me, more you.
Less me, more you.

WWMMD, What Would My Mom Do?

What would my mom do?

She'd be super serious.

Almost like a robot.

[robot voice]
"I am Pam. I am a spy, bleep-blorp."

I do not sound like that.

Bzz! Yes, you do.

[shutter clicks]

- [spy music playing]
- [binoculars whirring]

[Pam] I knew it.
It's an invitation for a party tonight.

"Bring Moo-Moo"?

On it.

That can't be right. Wait a minute.

[beeps]

That's where we'll get the Moo-Lacka-Moo.

Party. Excellent.

Robots love pigs in a blankie.

[deep sigh]

[narrator] Meanwhile in Zookia,
Guy's feeling super stressed.

He's got only one sh*t
to leave the Dookess impressed.

Guy? Guy?

Guy!

Relax.

I can't, E.B.

This is a huge opportunity
for our whole family.

Dude, and you're totally blowing it.

This boring lab is like the most
fun place in the world just for you.

Why don't you go play?

[chuckles]

You're right, E.B.

Speaking of fun,

I thought I might do
a little exploring on my own today?

Hmm. I don't know.

As long as you promise me to follow

our three rules
for sightseeing in a foreign country.

[squeals happily]

Back before dark, no street meat,
and absolutely no timeshare presentations.

Great, but stay away from the wall,

and before you go…

Every explorer needs
a way to navigate home.

[gasps] Oh!

Guy, you got me a funpass? Oh!

- I love it!
- [Guy laughs]

Thank you, Guy.

Be back soon.

Remember to stay clear of the…

Wall.

[rock music playing]

Zookia, here I come.

[bicycle bell chirping]

[winding clicks]

[children laughing]

[funpass winding, clicks]

- [alarm blares]
- [gasps]

- [alarms blaring]
- [all gasp]

Right. Butter side down.

Hmph.

[rock music continues]

[bell dings]

[music stops]

Hmm.

[winding]

[bell rings]

[buzzing]

[narrator] Don't go that way.

The funpass says no.

But E.B.'s so curious, she just has to go.

[E.B. gasps]

[narrator] Finally, the wall
we've heard so much about,

constructed to keep those evil Yooks out.

Built higher and higher, year after year,

it practically reaches the stratosphere.

[indistinct chanting]

Zook, Zook, Zook!

Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook,
Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook!

- [chanting fades]
- [chittering]

Oh! Hi, little squail.

Come here, girl.

It's okay. I won't hurt you.

That's it. Come on. Come here.

[chittering]

You're a sweet little squail.

Hey, come on!

[narrator] The wall is forbidden,
off-limits, taboo.

But Guy's gift is special.

What's E.B. to do?

All right, E.B.

You're about to go Pam on this wall.

[duck quacking]

[Sam quacking]

[Pam] The Moo-Lacka-Moo.

[Philip clears throat]

[Pam] Let's go!

[action music playing]

- [record scratch]
- [music halts]

What are you wearing?

A disguise from my con-man days,

or con-woman days.

Dr. Linda Schwartz, licensed
marriage and family therapist. LMFT!

- Sam…
- Linda.

A spy like me needs to be inconspicuous.

We need to blend in,
not stick out like whatever this is.

I'll get the Moo-Lacka-Moo.

- You stay right here.
- [sprays]

And remember, be inconspicuous.

Got it.

[growls]

[attendant] Name?

Bumblebum, Bonnie Bumblebum.

I'm afraid I don't see a Bumblebum.

Really? Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

Look closer.

[low growl]

Oh…

There you are, Mrs. Bumblebum.

Are you the caterer?

No, no, I'm here for the event.

It's under Schwartz.

Hmm…

What are you doing?
Just let me karate chop them.

- I got this.
- This isn't inconspicuous.

Ahem. I don't see a Schwartz.

[laughs]

Will this do?

[yelps] Dr. Linda Schwartz?

[chuckles] Please, call me Doctor.

You saved my marriage.

Isn't that right, darling?

Oh! Your book has been so instrumental

in facilitating
our matrimonial well-being.

I would hear her,
but I wasn't really listening.

[attendant] Please, go right in, Doctor.

[sighs]

- [Sam] Thank you.
- No. Thank you, Doctor.

- [growls]
- She's… She's with me. My latest patient.

She has a lot of issues.

Come along, Mrs. Bumblebum.

[indistinct party chatter]

Has the eagle landed?

What eagle? Where?

I said, has the eagle landed?

And I said, what eagle?

Where? I don't see it.

Ugh.

[narrator] Looks like we got fooled
by their made-up flirtation.

Turns out Blouse is
the brains of this operation.

[scoffs] Did you bring the Moo-Lacka-Moo?

Do I look stupid to you?

[sighs]

Wow!

I knew Linda would be
a mom-worthy spy disguise.

Shh.

There they are.

Oh! Are those the bad guys?

Cool it. You're blowing our cover.

No way.

I put the "neato" in incognito.

- [slurps]
- [glass shattering]

[all gasp]

It's Pam. Hmph.

And the worst fashion victim
I've ever seen.

Let's go.

- They're on the move.
- Whoa!

[Blouse] In here.

But I have to get another look
at those hideous heels.

It's a true crime of fashion.

- [Blouse] This way.
- Oh!

[Pam] They're gone. Wonderful.

So, pigs in a blankie?

Come back with my funpass!

[chittering]

Uh! Stupid squail.

Gotcha.

Hey, wait, that's not an acorn, dummy.
It's a…

[funpass bell chirps]

…solid metal funpass.

[grunts]

Wow! Squails. Honestly, pretty rude.

[chanting] Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook,
Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook…

You've got this, Elana Beth.

[narrator] No, no, no, I can't watch!

But I have to. It's my job.

Oh, the sheer ambivalence.

Whoo! She made it.

That was too much for me.
I need to lie down.

- [boy] Hey.
- [gasps]

I'm sorry.
I know I shouldn't be up here.

[boy] Don't sweat it.

Our people don't want us up here
because they're afraid.

That's why they got all their rules.

Good thing I don't play by 'em.

["Waterloo Sunset" by The Kinks playing]

Uh, yeah, me neither.

I make my own rules,
which I often times don't play by.

I only have one rule.

Break the rules.

Oh, that's one more rule than I have.

You know, there's a bit of space up here

if you decide completely on your own
that you want to sit here.

Cool.

That was something
I was going to do anyway.

Cool. I'm Looka.

Elana Beth. E.B.

So what brings you up here, E.B.?

A squail took my funpass.

It's shaped like an acorn.

How about you?

Just reading a book of poems.

It's called Poems.

Verse. I can dig it.

What are they about?

What are they about? I, um…

- I actually have no idea.
- [both chuckle]

All right, let me take a cr*ck at it.

Two roads? Man, this guy's indecisive.

Just pick one.

[both laugh]

That wasn't very me.

Traditionally, a spy sneaks up
on her mark,

rather than loudly
announcing herself to the room.

Let's focus, Sam. Less you, more me.

Right, right. Be more like Mom.

[Pam] There has to be
a secret passageway around here.

Look for anything suspicious.

Hmm. This guy looks suspicious.

Maybe if we move the statue,
it'll open the secret passageway.

You've been watching too many movies.
That would be way too obvious.

All right, all right. Think, Sam.

What looks suspicious?

What would Mom do? WWMMB?

- Whoa!
- Mom!

More like you!

Oh. Ow. Ooh. Ow. Ooh.

[squails chittering]

[narrator] These two played it cool,
but they ended up smitten,

as romantic as
any love poem that's been written.

These poems suck.

Ha! Totally.

These guys always come up with some
contrived way to make their rhymes work.

Pfft! Yeah. Rhyming's for babies.

[narrator] Oh!
Why, the nerve of these two!

Poems aren't for babies.

My rhymes are never contrived,
because I have…

Rabies. Oh God, the kid's right.

Hey, you hungry? I have toast.

Sure, as long as you butter it
on the right side. [Chuckles]

There's only one way to do it.

Butter side

up.

[gasps]

Keep your spirits up and your butter down.

Stay away from the wall.

Here you go.

Oh, um…

It's, uh, getting late.

I better get back.
Nice chatting with you. Whoa!

I'm cool. I'm cool.

Wait, you're going down the Zook side.

Ha! Right. Other way.

Huh.

Hmm.

The briefcase. That's the Moo-Lacka-Moo.

Then it's go-lacka-go time.

Sam, no.

Pam-I-Am is single-minded
in her pursuit of the objective.

Yes, but I'm also discreet.

You're going to blow our cover.

Wow, being you is so complicated.

[stomping]

Philip, start the plane.

I'm sorry, what now?

Take off, you daft smuntz.

Right. Uh…

Which button?

There is only one button!

[Sam yells, grunts]

Oof. Couldn't design
a smoother launch system, Blouse?

I need to get
the Moo-Lacka-Moo out of this. [Gasps]

Oh.

Ah! [Grunts]

[keyboard clacking]

[beeps]

[Sam grunting] Come on. Come on.

[Pam] Not so fast, Blouse.

Shut that door.

Gladly,

with this dainty wristwatch I designed.

It's so very handy.

Ah! Your zingers are legit.

Let's dance, Marilyn.

[grunting]

[action music playing]

[gasps]

[Sam] Come on. Open, you stupid lock!

[hangar door whirring]

[gasps]

[beeps]

- [big band music playing]
- [humming along]

[grunting]

Ah! [Grunts]

[gasps]

[grunts]

[snarling]

[expl*si*n]

- [zapping]
- [exclaims]

[engine starts]

[Sam] Open! Open! Open!

No more games, Blouse.
Close the hangar now.

All right.

[beeps]

Flizzabajibbit.

Ta-ta, Pam-I-Am.

[laughs]

[propellers whirring loudly]

[grunts]

Son of a yip.

[Sam] Language.

Looking for this?

Sam! You did it. How did you...

It was locked up
pretty tight there in that compartment,

but I just thought, what would Mom do?

She'd find a way to pick that lock
and get the Moo-Lacka-Moo.

And then I remembered I had this.

Bobby pin for the win!

Objective secured.

Looks like I've mastered
the way of the Pam.

No, you only had that bobby pin because,

for reasons I will never fully understand,

you decided to disguise yourself
as a middle-aged woman.

I prefer the term mature.

What I'm saying is,
this team doesn't need another Pam.

It needs a Sam, or a Dr. Linda Schwartz,

whoever you want to be.

We're at our best with you being you.

[both chuckle]

Well, Mom, I'm afraid
we're out of time for today,

but Dr. Linda thinks
we've made some really great strides.

Guy! Something crazy just happened.

There she is, the girl of the hour.

Listen, I just...

What are you wearing?

You were right.
I just needed to cut loose.

That's great, Guy, but, um...

I couldn't have done it
without you, kiddo.

After I lost the shop,

I really didn't know
if I'd be able to face inventing again,

but you believed in me.

[kisses]

And it makes my work that much better

knowing I'm helping protect this
wonderful country from those evil Yooks.

But how was your day?
Tell me all about Zookia.

It was, um… great.

Really great.

It really is wonderful here, isn't it?

And I talked to your mom.

She's cool with us
staying a little longer,

especially if it'll give us the money
we need to reopen the Inventionarium.

Yeah.

I hope you're hungry.

I made toast, butter side down.

[narrator] Now that Guy's
found his purpose

amongst the Zook nation,

how can E.B. share
her doubts and vexation?

"And leaves no step had trodden black."

"I doubted if I should ever come back."

[sighs]

[gasps]

[exhales]

What's over there?

Those evil Yooks.

There's only one way to do it.

[narrator] Before she calls out
her stepdad's new friends,

E.B. needs to see things
through a different lens.

You do the honors. You've earned it.

[gasps]

[laughs]

Wow.

There it is. The Moo-Lacka-Moo.

[whirring]

Whoa, wait.

[Philip on tape] If you're listening
to this tape, you've done well,

but not well enough.

You're a formidable foe, Pam-I-Am,
so I've taken certain precautions,

just in case you were able
to keep up with me and my girl, Blouse.

- It's a ringer.
- What?

[Blouse] Don't call me your girl,
and this was my idea.

[Philip] Ta-ta, Pam. [Laughs]

Wait, how do you turn this off?

- [Blouse] Ugh. There's only one button.
- Ugh.

- This isn't Moo-Lacka-Moo.
- [Sam] What is it?

It's Goo-Lacka-Goo.

Highly dangerous.

[gasps] Uh, what's it doing?

It's attracted to heat,

and now that it ate the fire,
we're the hottest thing in the room.

[chuckles] Why, thank you.

[whistles] Here, boy.

[intense music playing]

- It's locked.
- [whimpers]

- [yelps]
- [grunts]

- [grunts]
- [whimpers]

Oh! Ah!

[both grunt]

[screams]

Open up, open up, open up!

Sam, less me, more you.

[Sam] Hurry.

[whimpers]

[yells]

Oh!

Oh! There you are.

I was hoping you could sign
my copy of I Do's and I Don'ts.

Of course.

This is so exciting.

Dr. Schwartz, we need to be moving on.

Some free advice,
time to leave this party!

And remember Dr. Linda's daily "I Do's."

I do conceive. I do believe. I do achieve.

Sorry, we didn't get the Moo-Lacka-Moo.

We'll get them next time, kid.
The good thing is nobody got hurt.

[dramatic spy music playing]

[chanting] Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook,
Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook,

Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook,
Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook, Zook…

[music continues]

Sorry, Guy.

Ah-ah!

Zook, Zook, Zook...

- Ah!
- Ow!

- Freeze!
- [gasps]

[music halts]

[orchestral pop theme song playing]