03x04 - Silver Birch

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Pennyworth". Aired: July 2019 to present.*
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Alfred Pennyworth and Bruce Wayne's father work together at a security company.
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03x04 - Silver Birch

Post by bunniefuu »

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

[BELL TOLLING]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[DOOR SLAMS]

Hey, hey. Uh, I need to see my wife.

I need to know if she's okay.
Please! Stop! Please!

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

- [MONITOR BEEPING]
- [MACHINE CLICKING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Morning, sleepyhead.

What are you doing awake so early?

I have a photo sh**t this morning.

Hmm.

'Course you do.

You're a big star.

- Come back to bed.
- No. No time for that.

Got hair and makeup coming any minute.

Hmm.

It's amazing, what you've done, Sand.

Mm.

Well, Dad takes all the credit.

'Course he does.

But this is all you, you know that.

They'll be here soon.

You don't need them.
You're already gorgeous.

Mm.

[CHUCKLES]

[DOOR BANGS OPEN]

Morning, Sandra!

- There she is.
- You look gorgeous.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

- What do you think?
- [GASPS] I love it.

- I love it.
- Ooh.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, these are perfect.

I would say maybe red lipstick?

What do you think?

- The red lip.
- The red lip, I think, yeah.

No, this is perfect.

Did you see? You're on
the front page again.

- Oh, my God.
- _

Terrible what happened,
but look at you, darling.

Right, I'll be off, then.

All right, bye, Alfie.

I look tired.

No. [LAUGHS]

[PROCOL HARUM'S
"SOMETHING FOLLOWING ME"]


♪ I hear a weird noise ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Take a look up and down ♪

- All right, mate.
- All right, Alfie.

Thank you.

Cheers.

♪ Cause of the commotion ♪

♪ Is right there on the ground ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Imagine my surprise ♪

Morning.

- This looks much better.
- Oh, thank you.

Mr. Pennyworth, I've had a few
calls from your mother already.

Apparently there's been some
trouble at the Wayne house.

- What kind of trouble?
- I don't know.

But she said you have
to call her right away.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

Ah, good morning, sir.

Good morning, I'm looking
for Alfred Pennyworth.

You found him.

My name is Patrick Wayne.

I understand you know my family.

Yeah, that's right.

What can I do for you, Mr. Wayne?

My son tried and
failed to k*ll his wife.

What? He never.

Hard to believe, I know,
but, sadly, true.

He's been locked up in
the Tower of London.

I need you to break him out.

[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

He was taken straight to the Tower,

and there's been no contact since.

I presume you've tried the legal route.

Our lawyers are getting nowhere.

I need to know Thomas is safe.

And Martha?

She's in surgery.

A tragedy, but nothing
we can do for now.

There'll be a plane waiting to
take Thomas back to Gotham.

He'll ride it out there until
we get to the bottom of this.

There's a chance all of
this will get worked out.

The authorities tend to look
favorably on families like yours.

And I expect there's mitigating
circumstances, as they say.

I have a sneaking suspicion
he was drugged.

- Why do you say that?
- Wild guess.

Was he?

Who knows what happened?

I'm not taking the chance
of having my son rot

in an English jail cell.

I need him out tonight.

Well, I'm sorry. I can't help you.

Is the Tower that tough?

No, getting him out would be a doddle.

It's what happens after.

I'd be hanging myself, wouldn't I?

Rozzers chasing me the rest of my life.

Name your price.

Mate, I wouldn't do
it for a million quid.

Really? 'Cause that's
a reasonable price.

- Get out.
- I'm serious.

A million pounds sterling?

I'm an extremely wealthy
man, and I love my son.

That's £ , .

An advance.

My son seemed to think
that for the right price,

there's nothing you can't do.

Was he wrong?

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I'll look into it. See if there's a way.

- No promises.
- Thank you, Mr. Pennyworth.

You have my family's gratitude.

[DIAL TONE RATTLING]

[HUMMING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Is that Mummy?

You finish your milk,
there's a good girl.

[RINGING CONTINUES]

- Hello.
- Mum.

- It's me.
- [SIGHS]

I heard about what happened.
Are you all right?

Oh, Alfie, it was awful.

He nearly k*lled her.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

I've got Samantha here with me.

Poor Martha's in hospital.

It's touch and go, they say.

He was not right, Alfie.

Something happened to him,
like he was possessed.

I had to bash him over
the head to make him stop.


Well, you done him a favor. And Martha.

Well, I forgot me head scarf.
I had to go back for it.

I dread to think what would
have happened if I... well...

What was he like before you left?

Fine, nothing out of the ordinary.

He was just making dinner, God love him.

- No idea what set him off?
- No.

But he was not himself.

Hmm.

I suppose I shouldn't ask
where you were last night.

Not now, Mum.

What do you know about his dad?

Not much. Bit uppity.

He's got a younger girlfriend.
She's a right madam.

Asked me to dry clean her delicates,

- can you believe it?
- Listen.

The CIA are involved in this,

and I'm not sure what they want,

but you need to keep an eye out.

You still got that Beretta?

Well, I don't like it, but yes, I do.

Good. Don't take any chances.

You call the office if
there's any trouble.

All right, love. You take good care.

I'll be around later.

[SIGHS]

Did I hear the Tower... of London?

Piece of cake.

The Tower's hardly even a real prison.

- More for show.
- Yeah.

So imagine the embarrassment
to the Crown if you do this

and the inevitable repercussions.

Tempest in a teapot.

I'm talking about a million quid here.

- But do you trust him?
- No, of course not.

But we don't need to trust
him to take his money.

And there's several more of them

once Thomas is safely on a plane.

Still... the Tower of London.

Stop saying that.

We have made it, Chadley.
We've finally made it.

The world's our oyster.

Now, I'm gonna go see Aziz and
see if I can't make this easy.

And where the f*ck's Daveboy?

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

[PEACEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SLY MUSIC]

[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING]

♪ ♪

Oh, f*ck.

Stealing away before I'm awake?

Terrible.

I'm just trying to get out of your hair.

That was a wild night.

Aye, it was that.

Is there somewhere you'd rather be?

No, just... just work, you know?

I thought you said you were in the army.

I was. Private sector now.

Oh.

I rather liked the idea
of you in uniform.

So what do you do, then?

Pennyworth Security.

Missing persons, bodyguarding.

The government throws us a few jobs.

- Do you ever meet any P-dubs?
- [CHUCKLING] Aye.

- Too many of the bastards.
- Have you met Captain Blighty?

Aye. Aye, you could say that.

Oh, he sort of scares me.

Mm, good reason.

He was a mad bastard
before the enhancements.

There's a party tonight
at the gallery I work at.

Do you want to come?

I'd love you to meet my friends.

- A gallery?
- Yes, well, it's an intimate gathering

before the art show this weekend.

It'll be amazing.

It's a multimedia critique
of the normative.

It's an exploration in expanding
the bounds of the British psyche.

Get tae f*ck. [CHUCKLES]

Well, of course I'll... I'll come if...
if you want me to, obviously.

Always been interested
in the British psyche.

[GIGGLES] Wonderful.

It's Green Street,
next to the cobbler's.

- Starts at : .
- Right.

I can't wait.

- I'll see you there.
- Mm, can't wait.

Turned out really well.

Can I?

Go on, then.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Now, you stay right
just there. Okay, love?

[CLOCK TICKING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

- [HUMMING]
- [SIGHS]

[g*n COCKING]

♪ ♪

Oh, bloody hell.

- Good morning.
- Who are you?

I'm Roger. Roger Hammond?

What do you want?
I'm not buying anything.

No. No, I'm here for you.

Divorcé?

I enjoy bird-watching?
I have a Yorkshire terrier?

- From the Lonely Hearts.
- Oh, yeah.

- I remember now.
- Yeah.

Just a minute.

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

Right.

I'm sorry, Roger,

but I'm not doing that
sort of thing anymore.

Full of perverts,
in my limited experience.

Oh.

Right. That's disappointing.

I've come from Plumstead.

Oh, that is a long way.

Two buses.

I meant to cancel, but...

I've had me hands full over here.

- I don't...
- Hello.

Oh, hello.

Sorry for disturbing your mum here.

Mum? [LAUGHS]

Get away.

I'm her nanny.

Well, you're welcome to come in
and have a cup of tea, Roger,

use the facilities before you
make your way back home.

I wouldn't want to impose.

No. Come in, come in.

Oh, thank you.

- Yeah.
- Please.

Can you find a vase? Well done, darling.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

Alfred, good morning.

Busy round here today.

Yes, I'm afraid everyone's
rather distracted

with the Commonwealth Summit.

Preparing to welcome the
great independent nations

of the British Empire.

Sounds like they want a
bit more independence.

Can't say I blame them.

- What can I do for you?
- Any update on Mrs. Wayne?

She's in surgery. No news as of yet.

You know, I bumped into her
the day before yesterday.

Is that so?

At the Inner Peace Ashram.

Martha seemed to think that the
CIA were testing a new drug there.

This drug was given to Jessica Thistle,
and she m*rder*d her parents.

Stands to reason the same
thing happened to Thomas.

Martha tried to contact me yesterday.

Any chance of talking to him?

Why? What's your particular interest?

Well, just a concerned citizen.

Hmm!

How very noble of you.

But pointless, I'm afraid.

He claims he has no
memory of the incident.

He's telling the truth.

You know he's innocent.

Well, strictly speaking,
he's as guilty as sin.

Besides, the CIA evidently
wanted Thomas in jail,

so that's where he's staying for now.

They also wanted Martha dead.

Indeed, so she knows
something important.

I'd like to find out what that is

before further provoking the Americans

ahead of a global summit.

- Well, yeah, but...
- Stay out of this.

Now is not the time
for you to be meddling

with international
relations, is that clear?

- Say no more.
- Good.

Thomas may not have
done this deliberately,

but he did do it.

The Tower is the safest place for him,

for his sake and ours.

Mm.

[LINE RINGS]

Good morning, Whitehall switchboard.

How may I connect you?

Yes, I'm trying to reach
Mrs. Martha Wayne.

But I-I keep being...

Mrs. Wayne is not available, sir.

- Sorry, goodbye.
- Well...

[LINE CLICKS, DIAL TONE HUMS]

[GROANS]

[PHONE RINGING]

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hello.

Hello, Dr. Glubb.

How nice to speak to you at last.

Who is this?

I am the answer to all your prayers.

How did you find me?

Just be glad I did.

Shall we meet to discuss business?

- Who are you?
- Does it matter?

I'm not the CIA, if that's
what you're worried about.


How much longer do you think
you'll be able to hide from them?


They are so vicious and clever.

Where shall we meet?

Cheers.

Well, f*ck me.

I do not believe that.

- Thank God for Mrs. P, yeah?
- Indeed.

You're in last night's clothes again.

You know, I've said this before,

we should all present
good business decorum.

Hmm. Oh.

I went home with a bird
from the funeral last night.

Hmm? A real smasher.

Posh as f*ck.

- Proper nice.
- Goodness.

Well, congratulations.

Nah, I don't know.

There's got to be a catch somewhere.

She's invited me to something
at a f*cking art gallery,

for f*ck's sake,
to meet her fancy friends.

- Why would she want that?
- Exactly.

Why?

I cannot fathom.

But in future,

please keep some spare
clothes in the office.

Mr. Pennyworth.

- Morning.
- Morning. No luck with Aziz.

He wants to keep Thomas Wayne locked up.

Well, that makes sense
after Jessica Thistle.

- Mm.
- We don't know for sure yet

- that they're connected.
- f*ck off.

Of course we do.

Thomas Wayne hasn't
the balls to s*ab his wife.

It was yon CIA.

Why is the CIA setting up Thomas Wayne?

Thomas was the w*apon, not the target.

Martha knew something,

something more than we do,

else we'd be on the wrong
end of the kitchen Kn*fe.

So we're still going in. Tonight.

[SIGHS]

- Where?
- The Tower.

We're getting him out.

Are you f*cking joking?

This is not our fight.

Huh, the CIA? The Tower? Nah.

No, that's deep, dark water
you're wading into.

His dad's paying us a million quid.

A million?

What, a million pounds?

- Sweet, eh?
- I don't know.

That seems too good
to be true, doesn't it?

No one gets a million pounds.
There's got to be a catch.

Daveboy, do I really have to say it?

No, I know, I know.
Who dares f*cking wins.

But, Alfie, a million quid?

Call Lucius, we're gonna
need him for this one.

Right away.

Hey, hold on a wee minute.

We've been sitting here for ten
f*cking minutes eating pink wafers,

and you never thought to tell me

that we were breaking into
the Tower of f*cking London?

f*ck.

Can you believe it?

He actually asked me...

[HUMMING]

Do you know, I can't tell
you what he asked me.

But they weren't the words of a
gentleman, I can promise you that.

So I decided I'm not doing that anymore.

You never know who's on
there or where they've been.

Goodness.

I'm sorry you had such
an awful experience.

I just wanted to meet a nice
man and spend time with him.

Maybe do a bit of dancing.
I used to love dancing.

Do you dance?

Uh, no.

Two left feet, I'm afraid.

Well, you seem like a nice normal fella.

What are you doing on Lonely Hearts?

Well...

My wife left me.

Terrible business, terrible.

She ran off with Clive
Vickery, actually.

Clive Vickery of "Good Day Britain"?

[GASPS] Oh.

I do actually remember
hearing about that.

Yes.

Most people did.

Whole thing was...

very embarrassing.

That's my husband.

God rest his soul.

Arthur.

Is... but he...

The prime minister.
And almost the queen.

He got mixed up in a lot of nonsense.

But he wasn't all bad.
You should know that.

d*ed twice, you know.

I'm sorry?

So what I'm saying is, you've
no need to be embarrassed.

Not in front of me, anyway.

Well, no.

- Indeed.
- You know, I never trusted Clive Vickery.

His eyes are too close together.

[LAUGHTER]

[METALLIC CLANGING]

[SIGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GRUNTING]

[KEYS JANGLING, LOCK CLICKS]

[FOOTSTEPS TAPPING]

Please, I'm begging you.
I need to know if my wife's alive.

I need to know if she...

I need to know if she's okay.

[DOOR SLAMS]

♪ ♪

[BOAT HORN BLARES]

- Yes, uh-huh.
- Okay, now, I need all of this back,

so don't leave anything behind.

What the f*ck is that?

- This here is a lock-picking device.
- Hmm.

Once securely fastened to the keyhole...

press this lever,

and the door should unlock
within ten seconds.

Yes, miss, I'll hold.

Should? For f*ck's sake.

Does it work, or does it not?

I don't need to be here. You know?

In fact, I shouldn't be here.

No, we're very grateful
that you are here.

Shut up, Daveboy.

Now, you may not know this,

but I'm quite an avid mountaineer.

And I've been toying with
several ideas in that regard.

- Now, I'll explain...
- Grappling hook g*n, is it? Give her here.

Uh, yes, that's... that's
exactly what that is.

- How it works...
- You sh**t it at your target,

flick the switch on the
side, and away you go.

- Yes.
- Think I got it.

Well, you've got a second
one of them somewhere?

- Well, how do I get up the bleeding wall?
- When Alfie gets there,

he'll throw down a rope.

You climb up.

Oh, that's f*cking perfect.

- Fantastic.
- [LAUGHS]

Now, I must emphasize
these are prototypes.

I've only conducted limited testing,

some more successful than others.

Are you f*cking hearing this?

- It'll be fine.
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you, madam.

Thankfully Mrs. Wayne is safe.
Out of surgery and doing well.

How's that for a sign?

Boots on, Daveboy.

Aye.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GROANS]

[PANTING]

sh*t. [GRUNTS]

f*ck.

f*ck!

[PANTING]

So, eh, this Sally girl.

Yeah.

She...

she asked me to call her names.

You know, in bed. Dirty names.

Did she?

Do you think that's normal?

Happens.

So I called her a bastard wee hun.

Seemed to do the trick.

[GRUNTS]

[HOOK CLATTERS]

Bloody hell, it worked.

So do you think that's all right?

I'd love to stay and chat
about your love life,

but we should cr*ck on, eh?

Now, if I just flip this...

Whoa!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[SLY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Of course.

I'm the one that's got
to climb the bastard.

[GRUNTS]

[WHISTLING]

♪ Tell her how I feel and
maybe get a second glance ♪


♪ Now I got to get used ♪

- Can we turn this off, please?
- ♪ Living next door to Alice ♪

It's best to try and relax
on these kind of jobs.

Makes them go faster.

I can see no reason
at all for relaxation.

♪ Carved our initials in the bark ♪

[RADIO CLICKS, MUSIC STOPS]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[GRUNTING]

f*ck's sake.

Not a f*cking word.

[SNORTS]

Ugh.

[KEYS JANGLING, LOCK CLICKS]

[FOOTSTEPS TAPPING]

Watch it, mate.

- Now, this is a pickle.
- Alfie.

All right, let's not alert
the whole Tower.

- How's Martha? Is she okay? Do you know?
- She's alive.

- She's gonna be all right.
- [EXHALES HEAVILY]

Thank God.

And Samantha?

She's fine. She's with Mum.
Now, stand back.

We'll have you out of here in a jiffy.

- Uh, okay.
- All ready?

Here goes nothing.

[DEVICE CLICKS]

♪ ♪

I f*cking knew it.

We should have brought
a bloody blowtorch.

f*ck.

[DEVICE BUZZES AND WHIRS]

♪ ♪

[CELL DOOR CREAKS]

[CHUCKLES]

f*ck me.

I didn't do what they're saying I did.

I was drugged. I would never hurt her.

I know that. Now, if you don't mind,

your dad's paid us good money
to get you out of here.

- My father came to you?
- Yeah. Now, give us your hands.

- What's happening?
- We're prisoners,

and Daveboy's escorting us out of here.

[HANDCUFFS CLICK]

You hang in there, mate.

Every bleedin' night...

Hold on.

[CELL DOOR BANGS]

[ALARM BLARING]

Oh, dear.

It's okay. What's plan B?

- Plan B, sir?
- Plan B,

for when plan A goes
completely f*cking haywire!

There's always a plan B.

Mr. Pennyworth was very
confident in his plan, sir.

[MACHINE g*ns f*ring]

- Those were machine g*ns.
- I do see your point, however.

Having a plan B or, if I may call it,

a backup plan might have been
helpful at this juncture.

[GASPS]

We're all going to jail.

But I still think it's too early
to give up on plan A.

[g*nf*re]

This van isn't bulletproofed.

I should have bulletproofed the van.

That lightweight alloy
I've been developing.

-, no, -millimeter
sheeting all around.

That's it, sir. You think about
that. I'll start the engine.

- [ENGINE TURNING OVER]
- Where are we going?

- [g*nf*re]
- [ALARM BLARING]

♪ ♪

All right, sir?

All right, Chadley, we can go now.

Jolly good.

[ALL GRUNT]

Jesus.

- Your plan worked.
- 'Course it worked.

It was a lovely plan.

Have some faith, Mr. Fox.

[g*nf*re]

How are you, Thomas?

Uh, yeah, well, I've been better,
Lucius, but, um, thanks for this.

Oh, hey, just high treason.

No big deal.

Right, if we're done here,

can you drop me off on the way?

I've got a date.

What?

- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- Come in.

[DOOR CLICKS OPEN]

Sir, Thomas Wayne has
escaped from the Tower.

[SIGHS]

Put out an emergency bulletin

for the arrest of Alfred Pennyworth.

Yes, sir.

[SIGHS]

- [PHONE BEEPS]
- God damn it.

- God damn it!
- What's wrong?

Martha is still alive.

And your damn son just
escaped from the Tower.

Ah.

Wait a second.

Did you arrange that?

He's my only son.
I couldn't let him rot in...

- [GROANS]
- Jesus Christ,

I'm surrounded by f*cking idiots.

But I don't see the harm.

If the Brits don't have
a culprit to prosecute,

they'll have to dig deeper,
and they'll start looking at us.

But the CIA are untouchable,
aren't they?

I'm not. They'll throw me to the dogs.

Claim I'm a rogue agent.

- Are you?
- Of course I am.

Wake up, you dumb m*therf*cker.
This whole operation is rogue.

The System is rogue.

You're the only square idiot
in this whole damn deal.

[TOUCH TONES BEEPING, LINE RINGS]

- It's me.
- Mrs. Wayne is alive.

Yes, I know.

What would you like us to do?

Do what you have to do, and
then we're shutting up shop.

- Okay.
- That's right.

Scorched Earth.

- Yes, ma'am.
- [LINE CLICKS, DIAL TONE HUMS]


Scorched Earth? What
the heck does that mean?

- Where is Thomas now?
- I don't know.

[GROANING]

Where is he?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[g*ns CLICKING]

♪ ♪

[GLASS BOTTLE CLATTERS]

[TENSE MUSIC]

- Uh...
- Shh.

[g*n COCKING]

[DOOR CLICKS OPEN]

- Oh, God.
- [DOOR SLAMS]

- Mum?
- [SIGHS]

For goodness' sake,
you scared me to death.

Steady on. You can put that away.

Alfie, what have you done?

Business. Good business.

I'm sorry for the trouble,
Mrs. Pennyworth.

- Where's Samantha?
- She's fine.

She's asleep upstairs.

- Who's this, then?
- Oh, this is Roger.

Never you mind who this is.

- Uh, maybe I should...
- No, you're staying here.

I'm not having Alfie spoil our
evening with his shenanigans.

- Daddy!
- Sam!

- Daddy!
- Come here, sweetie.

Oh, it's good to see you.

- Me and Mary made a cake.
- You did?

Oh, delicious.
I'll have to have a slice.

- [CHUCKLES]
- So is this your boyfriend, then?

Shush, you.

- We only met today.
- I see.

Well, don't be giving me that face.

I can have a boyfriend if I like.

Well... yeah.

I can dance down the street
naked with him if I like.

Uh, I assure you, sir, that's
not at all what I had in mind.

No, no.

It's Liberty Hall here, mate.
You do as you please.

I better go.

Goodbye.

Nice meeting you, but, uh... goodbye!

- Is Mummy all right?
- [DOOR SLAMS]

Thank you, Alfie. Thank you very much.

I'll give you ten minutes with Samantha,

and then we'd better get
to the airport, all right?

Uh, Mrs. Pennyworth,
would... would you mind...

Yes, of course I will.

Come on, then, darling.

- Let's see what's left to do.
- There is nothing.

Alfie.

I'm not leaving my family.

Well, you can't help Martha, can you?

And Sam's safe here with Mum.

You stay in London, you'll
be back to the Tower...

- I'm not going anywhere.
- It's not up to you.

Your dad's paying us to
get you out of the country,

- so that's what we're gonna do.
- f*ck my dad.

That's my favorite towel.

I think he is responsible
for all of this.

Do you have any proof?

Wayne Enterprises was developing

a mind-control drug with the CIA.

Operation Lullaby State.

The doctor running it has gone rogue,

and now he's trying to sell the
stuff to the highest bidder.

Martha found out.

And this Lullaby drug
makes people go nuts?

Could he have given it to you?

Well, I can't remember
anything that happened

after I got home yesterday,

and now Martha is in the hospital,

and he's trying to get
me out of the country.

Not conclusive, really, is it?

Of course it is. He tried to
make me k*ll my own wife.

Well, be that as it may,

your dad is paying us a million
pounds to get you on a plane.

What will you pay to stay?

I don't have a million
pounds to give you, Alfie.

There's your answer, then.

Jesus, really?

Look, I'm doing you a favor.

What are you gonna do here?

You're a wanted man.

And what you gonna do with your dad?

k*ll him? Arrest him?

I-I'll find out the truth.

- That's what I'll do.
- Oh, bugger the truth.

Who cares about the truth?

Whereas if you get on that plane,

I am a millionaire.

Alfie.

[DIRE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

[LAUGHS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Daveboy?

- You came.
- Aye.

What are you wearing?

It's a... a long story.

Well, what do you think?

- Very nice.
- Yes.

It is very special, isn't it?

Well, it's better than
those tins of soup,

- that's for sure.
- [CHUCKLES]

Well, I like to think so.

Sally, what have you brought us?

This is Daveboy.

Daveboy, this is Francis Foulkes.

He's the artist.

Charmed.

How you doing there, pal?

It's very, uh, nice art
that you have here.

Where did you pick him up?

We met at the Thistle funeral.

Ah.

So you witnessed that
inspired performance.

Everyone's been talking about it.

I'm so sad I missed it.

That was Daveboy.

You don't say.

- Ingenious!
- Well, I didn't mean to...

You are fabulous.

Look at this face. [GASPS]

Plebeian angst in the flesh. [SIGHS]

It's a pleasure to
meet you, Dave... boy.

Bloody...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Sally, I must do the rounds.

- Hello.
- Darling.

Ha!

He likes you.

[DARK MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[DOOR SLAMS]

- Hello.
- Ah. Hello, love.

Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

I, um... I let myself in to save time.

You must be the lovely Virginia.

Alfred Pennyworth.

Hi. Yes, Virginia Devereaux.

- Nice to meet you.
- Mm.

- Your old man about, is he?
- Uh, yes.

Please, come this way, Mr. Pennyworth.

Pat, dear, we have a visitor.

Mr. Pennyworth.

[GRUNTS]

- Is Thomas safe?
- Snug as a dormouse,

somewhere over the Atlantic.

- Thank you.
- Let's settle up, shall we?

- Do you need an invoice?
- Oh, right.

- No.
- £ , down,

£ , outstanding.

Are you kidding me? A million pounds?

Please, Virginia, let me handle this.

You are the dumbest, softest
son of a bitch I ever saw.

A million to save that
useless trust fund baby?

It was the right thing to do. He's weak.

He would have betrayed me,
testified against me.

- I couldn't let him do that.
- He was weak?

[CHUCKLES]

Here, hang on, miss.

Let's get business out of
the way first, shall we?

Take a hike. He's not paying you.

Oh, he'll pay. Or I'll start
talking about Lullaby.

You wouldn't like that,
would you, Mr. Wayne?

- What? How?
- Don't say a g*dd*mn word.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Oh, for f*ck's sake, you
were supposed to wait.

- Thomas?
- I haven't got anything out of him yet.

- [GRUNTS]
- Oh.

- You tell me it isn't true.
- It is not that simple, son.

Tell me you didn't try to
make me k*ll my own wife!

- No, no, I didn't!
- You had nothing to do with it?

- It's complicated.
- My daughter was in the house!

Have you no shame at all?
No morals? No conscience?

Wasn't me.

- It was her.
- What?

It was her. She's CIA.

She's... she's my handler.

She made me do all of this.

You spineless son of a bitch.

Oh, go ahead, sh**t me.

Send me to prison. I don't care anymore.

I am tired of this whole
g*dd*mn charade.

You couldn't keep your
nerve for one more day?

- [SIGHS]
- [SCOFFS]

[g*n COCKING]

Sit down. All of you.

Well, here's a turnup, eh?

Why the hell do you have a CIA handler?

- I made some mistakes.
- Mistakes?

- Errors of judgment.
- Fraud, corruption,

sexual as*ault.

It was entrapment.

The CIA wanted our pharma wing.

And your father was a weak link.

Just curious, why's the CIA
messing about with dr*gs?

There's easier ways to k*ll.

We've barely scratched the surface

of what we can do with this drug.

Give it to people, people,

, a whole army, a whole country.

Imagine they all have the same vision.

A vision controlled by you.

- You sick bitch.
- I'm a patriot and a realist.

And I'm trying to contain

a dangerous international
security situation.

Bollocks.

You've cocked up good and proper.

And now you're trying to save
your ass as best you can.

No shame in that.
But what's the plan here?

Are you gonna sh**t us or something?

'Cause I've got a g*n as well

- if that's where we're going.
- Try me.

I'm just saying. [SNIFFS]

We're going home.

You're staying here for
the police to deal with.

Well, I'll tell them everything.

The government won't want to hear it.

America is an ally.

You guys are much better culprits.

Patrick, there's some
handcuffs in my purse.

Dad, whatever it is you've done wrong,

this isn't the way to fix things.

[SIGHS] I have no choice.

Everybody has a choice, Dad.

- [DOOR CRASHES OPEN]
- Police. Hands up.

Drop the g*n.

Drop the g*n.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

What are you doing here?

We didn't call the police.

No, that was me.

I guess I could have mentioned.

You're all under arrest.

See, the plan was to get
Mr. Wayne here to confess,

then find out where this
Lullaby was stashed.

Only Thomas here couldn't wait.

Anyway, turns out, it was you.

We have done nothing wrong.

These men are fugitives.

- Just following orders, madam.
- Who's the dumb m*therf*cker now?

- Scorched Earth, my ass.
- Keep your mouth shut.

We'll be out before breakfast.

Hey, give us a moment.

What do you mean, Scorched Earth?

Sounds ominous.

Tell them, Officer Devereaux, tell them.

You have diplomatic immunity.

Shut your g*dd*mn mouth.

It's too late anyway.
I already sent them.

I have no way to call them off.

What's too late?

She sent men to finish Martha.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[g*ns COCKING]

Good evening, gentlemen.

Sorry.

Wrong room.

That was them.

You should have seen
their faces as they left.

Very droll.

That was them. She's safe.

They're gone.

I hope we can see our
way past this, Mr. Aziz.

I am the one who called you lot.

- Yes, we'll see.
- Glad to hear it.

Thank you, Constable. We can go now.

Million bloody quid you cost me.

And are you happy now
now you got the truth?

[BRIGHT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

We get this sorted, you gents should
come down to Queen Anne's.

We treat plods like you just
the same as anyone else.

Point of pride.

[SIREN WAILING]

♪ ♪

[MOANS] Oh, yeah.

Say it again.

Oh, you're a dirty wee gadget,
and you know you are.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

- [DOOR SLAMS]
- [CHUCKLES]

- Who the f*ck's here?
- Only me.

Didn't mean to disturb.

- Alfie.
- Who is it?

Alfie, Sally. Sally, Alfie.

- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.

Well, I was just up to the office,

so don't let me interrupt.

Nice to meet you, Alfie.

[CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHTER] Here we go.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

Now I'm stuck.

[SNIFFS]

Makes two of us.

Sandra? How'd you get in here?

Chadley let me in to wait for you.

Huh.

I went to leave, but then Daveboy
and that girl were downstairs.

Didn't want to interrupt.

Right.

- Sorry.
- It's all right.

This is nice.

Hmm.

You look tired.

Long day.

Had a bit of a misunderstanding
with the police.

It's all sorted now.

What? Were you arrested?

Detained.

What did they detain you for?

For allegedly breaking Thomas
Wayne out of the Tower of London.

Uh, did you break Thomas Wayne
out of the Tower of London?

Yeah, we did.

What was the misunderstanding, then?

Well, when you put it like that,
I'm not sure there was one.

[CHUCKLES]

Everyone just sort of decided I'd
done the right thing in the end.

[POIGNANT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

How do you do it, Alfie?

Do what?

Get away with things.

It's been years...

and you haven't changed a bit.

Well...

not like you have.

No.

♪ ♪

Being round you again,

I feel the same.

- Sandra, I can't...
- I'm not...

I'm not asking for anything.

♪ ♪

[SNORING]

Hello?

Hello?

Is anyone there?

[TENSE MUSIC]

This is not what we agreed!

♪ ♪

Dr. Glubb, it's so nice
to finally meet you.

I'm a huge admirer of your work.

♪ ♪

We're going to do great things together.

♪ ♪
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