01x11 - It Got Out of Hand; The Sound of Fear

[bunniefuu]

Male announcer: And now,
nickelodeon and dreamworks'

Monsters vs. Aliens.

- ♪ mva ♪

♪ mva ♪

- ♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ it's us vs. Them

♪ foe vs. Friend

♪ brain vs. B.O.B.

- ♪ it's a super-freaky job

- Oh, yeah,
it's freaky.

- ♪ mva ♪

- ♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

- [cackles]
- ♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ mva ♪

- [humming]

[knock on door]
hello?

[knocking continues]

Coming.
[humming]

Did you knock?
- No.

- Hmm. Curious.
- [chuckles]

- [humming]

[fizzles]
aah!

Aah!
- Wah!

- I don't understand
what happened.

My calculations were perfect.

- Well, sometimes
you do make a six

That kind of looks
like a four.

- [laughs]
more like four-get about it!

It was me, doc.

I switched beakers on you.

April fools', my friend!
Ba-boom.

- Aw, no.
[groans]

April st.

- April fools' day?

Okay, I'll take care
of the turkey.

Susan, you do the stuffing.

Link, cranberry sauce--
fresh, not canned.

- But I like the canned better.

It keeps the shape of the can,
even the ridges.

- Fine.
And dr. C?

Hey! Get your head
in the game.

The nine hours of football
we're gonna be watching...

- You're celebrating
the wrong holiday, b.O.B.

- April fools' is about playing
harmless pranks on people.

- Pranks?

Yeah, right.

That's valentine's day.

Okay, while that roasts,

I'm going to be
punkin' chunkin'.

- Poor, confused b.O.B.

- Really?
- [laughs] classic.

- I wonder if I can just
lock myself

In my room until tomorrow.

- Aw, come on, susan.
Don't be such a prank crank.

- Link and I have
a long-standing

April fools' day competition.

I won last year,
after I convinced him

The base had been infected
by a zombie virus.

I had my victory preserved
as a stereoscopic slide

For posterity.

- I have raccoon eyes,
don't I?

[both laugh]

- But you gotta admit, doc,

My foam gag
slams the zombie thing.

- You got me, link.

- I have to say, you're taking
this pretty well.

You're usually a lot more...

[groans]
competitive...

Ugh!

- Indeed, I am.

I knew you were going
to sabotage my experiment.

So this morning,
I replaced your shampoo

With a gravity exacerbator.

- Can't...Lift...Head,

But feels...So...Silky.

- How heavy is he going to get?

- Pretty heavy.

- I've got you.
Aagh!

[screams]
[crashing]

- Ooh-hoo,
right through the coolant tanks

In the sub-basement.

- And this is why I don't like
April fools' day.

- Silky!

- Yeah, it starts small,

Like, "ha ha, isn't it funny?

I put toothpaste
in your shoes."

Then one thing leads
to another,

And before you know it,
it gets out of hand.

- Pardon, but I need that
to make

The marshmallow topping
on the yams.

- Man, I wish today
was already over.

- Well, that's simple enough.

Behold the time portal.

Just enter your
target date here,

Flip this lever there,
and it'll be April nd.

- Right, so on April fools',

You expect me to believe
you have a time machine

Just sitting around that
you've never mentioned before?

- I can see how this might look
a little suspicious.

I do.
[evil laugh]

- Hmm,
certainly would be nice

To skip
this whole day of pranking.

- Whoa,
hold on there, suze.

You're the one
who's always telling us

We can't take
the easy way out.

- Really?
I don't remember saying--

- Yes, I believe
"stick-to-itiveness"

Is one of your common
talking points.

Along with "gumption."

- Stick-to-itiveness maybe,

But I have never used
the word gumption.

- Ooh, speaking
of gumption,

I stuck bubble gum
under the left throttle

Of monger's jet pack.

His jet pack!

- Aah!
- Uh!

- Ooh!

[thud]

- Nicely done,
my amphibious chum.

- Let's check it out.

Uh, you first, doc.
- Age before beauty.

- I got both.
- Guys.

You don't need to worry about
the old bucket-of-water trick.

These doors
slide up and down.

Ugh!

- [laughs]
she's wet.

[imitates expl*si*n]

- Antigravity water bucket?

- Yes, it does utilize
antigravity to stay aloft.

But I have named it
the infinity pail.

- Ugh!

- A super-condenser soaks up
atmospheric moisture

To refill the pail
again and again.

- Ooh!

- That baby can prank people
/ !

- Go forth,
oh, pail of infinite jest

And make mischief.
- [laughs]

- Forget stick-to-itiveness.

April nd...
[beeps]

Here I come!

[mechanical whirring]

Ugh!

Huh?

Whoa.

It's only been one day.

What could've happened?

- [groans]
oh...

- Dr. Cockroach?

- Susan?

The prank, susan.

It was the infernal prank.

- A prank destroyed the base?

- Indeed...

Oh, should have listened
to you, susan.

It got out of hand.

- [groans]
I even put an eye out.

- Go back.
Stop the prank.

- Which one?
- It's on the list.

- Wow,
that's a lot of pranks.

- Save us, susan.
Save us!

- Don't worry, guys.
I'll fix it.

I'm going to stop
the doomsday prank.

As soon as I find it.

[mechanical whirring]

Ugh!

[growls]

He really needs to put
a seat belt in that thing.

Ah!
Seriously?

- Thank you.
Your pen.

- No!

- Susan!

Way to ruin
an awesome prank.

- That's the idea.

Pen prank foiled.
Check.

- Wait, how did you know
the pen was loaded?

- I'll tell you later.

If there is a later.

[beeps]

- General monger,

This briefing
was supposed to start

minutes ago!

- Ugh!

Apologies, mr. President.

Jet pack trouble.

What the haystack?

[whoopee cushion deflates]

- Excuse me, that was meant
for the general.

- Yeah, I got that.
[whoopee cushion deflates]

- Ugh, forget about
your jet pack.

You've got
gastrointestinal issues.

[whoopee cushion deflates]

[embarrassed chuckle]
it's a stealth whoopee cushion.

Both: Right.

- Okay, next--

Sneezing gas.

- Susan, glad I found you.

Kind of
a delicate situation.

I know you had your heart
set on making the stuffing,

But certain gluten issues
have recently come to light--

- B.O.B.,
now's not a good time.

Sneezing gas.

[sneezes]
[crash]

Ow.

- Okay, know what?

If it's that important
to you,

Stay with the stuffing.

- Aah!

[muffled expl*si*n]

Exploding gum, check.

Oh!
Itching powder, check.

- I know we've had
our differences,

But put 'er there!

- No! Aah--oof!

- Mm, sub-atomic hand buzzer?

- Yes.
- Nice.

- Don't pull it!

Oh. Not so bad.

- [computer voice] f*ring
confetti targeting missiles.

- Aah!

Gah! Why would anyone
make such a thing?

Oh, what a day.

But it's over.
It's April nd.

We made it!
We're all safe.

Both: April fools'!

- What?
I don't understand.

- This whole day
was one giant prank.

- A brilliantly conceived
elaborate hoax

Made up of ingenious
props and devious holograms.

[snaps]

[snaps]

- [snap...Snap]

- So the list was a fake?

You made me do all those pranks
to myself?

- Bingo.

- Admit it, suze.
We got you but good.

Whoo-hoo!

We are the presidents
of pranktown.

Ooh.
[imitating expl*si*n]

- [computer voice]
warning! Danger! Danger! Danger!

- [over p.A.] all monsters
report to the w*r room.

Immediately!

- It's bad, monsters.
Disastrous.

Some kind of flying bucket's
been dumping water

Into the ruptured
coolant tanks.

- The infinity pail!

- Water in coolant?
That's bad?

- The super-charged
freezing capacity

Of the bases' coolant tanks

Combined with
an endless supply of water

Could lead to a--

- [computer voice]
deep freeze super-storm

Will send north america

Into a new ice age
in five...

- So, really bad?

- [computer voice]
four...

- Doc, there must be
something you can do!

- There's no time!

- [computer voice]
three...

- I'm assuming our frozen doom

Is thanks to you lunkheads
and your pranking.

- [computer voice]
two...

Both: Yes!
- [computer voice] one.

[both whimper]

[ice crackling]

- [computer voice dies down]
enjoy the new...Ice age.

Both: No!

- Doc, I've been through
an ice age. It's bad.

[both sobbing]

- And we have condemned our
friends and colleagues

To that wretched fate.

- Not to mention the rest
of north america.

- If only the time portal
actually worked.

- We could go back
and not prank anybody.

[both sobbing]

- I'd say
that's lesson learned.

- Uh, what?

- [snaps]

- What is going on?

- [snap...Snap]

April fools!
[both laugh]

- Had the eggheads reprogram
your hologram

To scare some sense
into you two jokers.

- The truth is,
I love April fool's day!

- You do?
- Of course.

In third grade,
I convinced the whole class

That there was
an alien invasion!

Which is kind of ironic
now that I think about it.

Anyway, I knew exactly
what was going on

The whole time.

I played along
to lure you into my prank.

I even got the general
to help me do it.

- Nobody messes
with my jet pack.

- The best pranks are the ones
you never see coming.

- Well played, susan.

You are
the April fools' champion.

- Thank you.

- I think it may be time

To amend
our April fools' tradition.

- Yeah, it's not as fun
as it used to be, you know?

It always gets out
of hand.

- Now, who wants pie?

- You know I do.

- They look delicious, b.O.B.

- [laughs]
happy valentine's day!

[laughs]

[alarm beeping]

- Code zebra!
Scramble the jets!

Roll the tanks!
We've got an intruder!

All monsters topside,
a-s-a and p.

- [grunting]

- Hold the line, guys.

- No telling what kind of
nightmarish abomination

We're facing.

Though I gotta admit,
"little old lady"

Was way, way,
way down the list.

- w*r cry!

Uh, I'll be over here.
Ma'am.

- Ms. Klangpopper?

- Someone's appearance
has certainly changed.

- Yes, the mutation--
- the moustache.

Your lip is in ruins, herbert.

- "herbert"?
- Doctor c...

Do you know this woman?

- Yes. She was my second grade
teacher and nemesis.

- Headmistress klangpopper,
elementary educator.

- General w.R. Monger,
base commander.

Now we got the pleasantries
in our rearviews,

Tell me why you violated
my secret base.

- No choice.

I've uncovered
a mysterious gap

In herbert's transcript.

- No...
You couldn't have.

Not after all these years.

- Did you honestly believe
I wouldn't notice

You dashed out on your second
grade singing recital?

- You didn't
for several decades.

Besides, no--no one
cares about that now!

I-I have a three degrees
in advanced mad sciences.

- Then you should be able
to do the math.

If I revoke
your grade school diploma...

- Then my middle school years
are void. And so is--

- Your high school diploma.
Which means...

- My college degree
is cancelled. And then--

- P.H.-De-nied!

Congratulations,
"mister" herbert cockroach.

You've flunked life.

- [gasps]

- You mean the doc
isn't a doc?

- Top mark, miss.
Gold star.

- [chuckles]
oh, gosh, thanks.

I was always popular
with my teachers.

- And not so much with your
fellow students.

Just a guess.

- Yeah,
like that wasn't cool.

Can I help it
if I'm a shining star?

- General, please.
End this madness.

- Frankly, doc--er--
mister cockroach,

I like what
ms. Klangpopper is saying.

- General monger,
what are you saying?

- I'm saying make melody
or lose your science license.

- Yes. Sing, herbert.

Sing! Sing!

♪ sing!

[beeps]

- But I-I-I can't.

- Guys, that thing with
the toilet paper happened again.

- Aw, b.O.B.,
we've been through this

At least a hundred times.

[both grunt]

- That b.O.B.,
darn it all.

He just can't be taught.

- Excuse me?
"can't be taught"?

Everyone can be taught.

You just need
the proper teacher.

- I don't know.
B.O.B.'s pretty hopeless.

- Ugh!

Not true.
I learned the alphabet.

[clears throat]

"a," "q," , nose,

Dancing-robot and zoom!

- See?

- This desperate creature
needs a professional!

- Well, if anybody
can teach b.O.B.,

It'd be you,
ms. Klangpopper.

- By blood, toil, tears,
and sweat, he will learn.

- Looks like you're hitting
the books, buddy.

- Am I ever!

[laughs]

[grunts]

Stupid books!

- We'll leave you to it then.

B.O.B.'s buying us time.

Grab dr. C and run!

- Aah!

- Dumb books!
I'll teach you to teach me!

Aah!

- No! Without mad science,
I'm nothing! Nothing!

- I'm just saying
I always thought

His first name was "doctor."
- really, link?

And he just happens
to also be a doctor?

- Hey, his last name
is cockroach,

And he just happens to also
be a cockroach. Boom.

[thudding]

- Name the capital
of the United States.

- Okay, let's call it pete.

No, no, no, wait, wait.

Donny. [laughs]

Donny u.S. Jackson, jr.

[singsong]
nailed it.

- So we've got to get doc--

- Herb.
- Over his stage fright.

- It's worse than stage fright,
susan.

Much, much worse.

I genuinely cannot sing.

- Oh, come on.
Everyone can sing.

- Oh? Observe.

[plays note on harmonica]

[clears throat]

♪ doh
[shatters]

♪ re

♪ mi
- aah!

It burns, it burns.

- ♪ fa

- So, that's enough of that.

- Told you.

- Let's try fractions.

If we divide this pie into--

- [gulps]

Nice. What kind of fractions
was that? Blueberry?

[belches]

- Everyone can be taught.

- Light bulb!

Susan,
you rocked karaoke night,

So how about this--

You stand behind
a curtain and sing

While doc moves his lips.

Boom, singing!

- Whoa, I do not
like cheating.

Another thing the other kids
in school just loved about me.

- I agree with susan.
- Thank you.

- But not her mamby pamby
teacher's pet morality.

- Hey!

- Your plan is too low tech,
link.

Where's the fun?
Where's the mad science?

Ah, here it is.
[evil laugh]

- Uh!
What are you doing to me?

- I've reversed
your subatomic structure,

Causing you to shrink
instead of grow.

- Change me back!
- Can't. But fret not!

- Hey!

- Mere minutes from now,
you shall return to normal.

[feedback]
- ew.

Do you ever floss?

- Focus, nano susan.

Row, row, row your boat
on three.

- Row, row, row your boat?

Something wrong
with this century?

- Ba ba ba! Now...
[blows note]

One, two, three.

- ♪ row, row, row your boat

♪ gently down the stream

♪ merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪

♪ life is but a dream

- Well, the voice is
a little on the girly side--

- So sorry!

- But you work
with what you've got.

Way to b*at
the system, doc!

And shining star.
- [gags]

Um, I think--I think
I swallowed susan.

She's not coming out.

- Still... Not... Working.

- Maybe if we wait long enough
she'll come out,

You know, the other way?

- Ew! Make him hurl!

- I'm afraid
we have bigger problems.

- Maybe for you.

- Your subatomic restructuring
was only temporary.

In ten minutes,

You'll revert to normal size.

And thus my head will explode.

- Still not going the other way!

- So...How'd I do?

- I'm on my sixth red pen.

You spelled
your own name with two "o"s.

- Way to go, boob.

- If I sing a prolonged series

Of very specific auditory tones,

That might eject you
from my esophagus.

- You are going to sing me out?
You?

- The irony is not
lost on me, susan.

[beeps]

- "x marks the spot"?

- The showstopper
from tic tac toe,

The musical.

- I hate that show!
That song is nauseating!

- Let us hope so.

For I must sing it now,
note for note.

Our very lives depend on it.

- All the confidence
in the world, doc.

You're gonna nail this.

But if you don't, can I have
your thing that goes--

Vzzzzzz, vzzzzzz, vzzzzzz?

What's that thing called?
It's cool.

- Breathe in, breathe out.

Perhaps
a simple art project.

All you need to do is glue
the macaroni to the can.

There is absolutely
no wrong way to--aah!

- Help! Help!

I did it wrong!
Ms. Klngpuffr? You here?

- Enough.
I admit defeat.

Not everyone can be taught.

- So we're all learning
something today. Oop!

[squishy thud]

- ♪ they say cheating's
just a game ♪

♪ and winning's
all that ma-- ♪

I-I can't do it.

- Sing! I can't control
this much longer!

- You've gotta sing, doc!
You don't have a choice.

- Yes, herbert.
You don't have a choice.

- Time to sing
or get off the pot.

- [sighs]
here we go.

♪ they say cheating's
just a game ♪

♪ and winning's
all that matters ♪

♪ but winning's not so sweet

♪ if my honor is in tatters

♪ I thought my plan so clever

♪ certain no one would suspect

♪ but you saw me erase
your center "o" ♪

♪ and substitute my "x"

♪ mama told me cheating's

♪ not the right way to go

♪ that's no way to win
at life ♪

♪ let alone tic tac and toe

- Ah.

- Uh! Stop!
- Whoa, whoa!

- Bring it on home, doc.

- ♪ that's no way to win
at life ♪

♪ let alone tic tac and toe

♪ whoa, whoa, whoa

[gags]
- ugh.

I have never needed a shower
more than this moment.

- Did I pass?

- You were off-key, flat,

And for some reason,

You saw fit to regurgitate
a full-grown woman.

I'm giving you
a "d" minus minus.

- Which is a passing grade.

Huzzah!

- Looks like you're back
in the mad science game.

- Way to go, herbert!

- Excuse me,
my name is dr. Cockroach.

[evil laugh]

[squishy thud]

[futuristic music]

♪