01x16 - Driven to Madness; The Beast from 20,000 Gallons!

[bunniefuu]

♪ MVA ♪
♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ It's us vs. them ♪

♪ Foe vs. friend ♪

♪ Brain vs. B.O.B. ♪

♪ It's a super-freaky job ♪

Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪
[cackles]

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ MVA ♪

Eyes and ears, people.

I've called you here for
a very special presentation

from our resident genius.

Wow! This is unexpected.

I-I didn't prepare any formal remarks,
but I'm happy to wing it.

I meant the other genius.

- Greetings!
- Oh. Of course.

[grunts]

As part of my earth studies research,

I have made some
interesting observations.

- Great.
- Hey! Be nice.

Specifically, your ground vehicles
are shockingly slow,

which is why I created the X- .

[engine revving]

Ah!

[tires screeching]

If awesome married incredible
and then had a beautiful baby,

that baby would be called...
X- !

Wah-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[imitates engine revving]

That's, uh...
yeah, I was just saying...

that is one sweet ride.

So sweet your teeth will
fall out, which is exactly

what happened to the first
guy who tried to drive it.

It's too fast.

Still, the top brass
want the X- fully checked out.

So I need a guinea pi...

I mean, test driver of
the nonhuman variety.

[grunting]
Question.

Does this so-called "test driver"
need to know how to "drive."

Yes, B.O.B., and you
do not know how to drive.

- I'm out.
- General, I was hots for this job.

Make us proud, fish man.

General Monger, I must object.
The car is alien technology.

Precisely, I am the logical
choice for this task.

You? [laughs]

Your tiny feet wouldn't
even reach the pedals.

Hey! I created it.

For this job, I nominate...

I will drive to honor and glory.

♪ Sta'abi, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

How long was she up there?

- Two days.
- She likes to make an entrance.

I already made my
road trip mix, so...

Ping!

[electricity crackling]

Missy, you just opened up
a can of carbonated Link.

Ah, good. We make the combat.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You both want to drive the X- ?

Take it to the rampage room.
Winner drives. Loser cries.

You will be put through
a series of tests

that will push you to the
edge mentally and physically.

Whoever proves they've got the
right stuff, pilots the car.

- You will eat failure.
- Not while these gills suck air.

[laughs] Woot!

As a fellow contestant,
I, too, wish to engage in trash talk.

I will win more points
than either of you

by a statistically significant amount.

Hey! I created it!
Wait!

Oh, the youth and their
sense of entitlement, right?

[chuckles]

X- candidates, the
stress test begins... now!

[grunts]

Begins when again?
Let me know when you're ready to start.

I thought we were to be having
contest, not the baby pampering.

[electronic beeping]

[machine whirring]

[grunting and whimpering]

It's like fire moon of Scorcherin.

- Me like!
- Come on, General.

[grunts]

Tell me you've got more than this.

Please, I was frozen in a block of
ice for , years. This is nothing.

I -I, too, am mocking this test.

You want more?

Fine, hotshots.
Show me agility!

[both panting]

Stamina!

Endurance!

- Concentration.
- Hmm...

Sense of whimsy.

What are we being again?

Magic pixies.
I think.

- Looks like we got us a tie.
- Not for long.

The next event is swimming.

Game, set, match!
Link will crush her.

[knuckles cr*ck]

You're okay on land, but
agua es mi casa.

It means I live in the water or,
technically, that my house is water.

Anyway, you're going down!

I hope you swim the water
better than you trash the talk.

Ready, set...

[whistle blows]

[grunting]

Huh, how braggy he was,
I thought Link would be less drown-y.

He usually is. He's a natural.

[Link grunting]

Ugh, this is pathetic...
suspiciously pathetic.

Ah!

Quite a contest, eh?

Both: Go, Link! Go, Link!

[grunting]

Ah, thought for certain the
swamp monkey would do better.

Go, Sta'abi.

Swim! Swim! Swim!

Go, Link!
Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!

- No!
- Don't have a stroke!

- Miss Link is crushed.
- Alien power, huzzah!

Sta'abi wins.
Somebody fish Link out of the drink.

How?
I just...

I don't...
I'm a fish man.

I swim... like a fish... man.

So Sta'abi gets to drive
the world's fastest car.

So what?

[whimpering]

Okay, okay. Forget I said that.

Look, it was a fluke.
You know what you need to do?

Get back on that horse and swim.

Horse and swim?
You're sure you want to go with that?

It's a sea horse, all right?

Point is, Link needs to
get back in the water.

Right. Go, Link!

- He's doing it!
- He's sinking, B.O.B.

Which, if you think about it,
is just swimming down.

Hey, way to go, pal.
Nobody sinks like you.

Swimming any other
direction would be better.

Don't listen to the doubters.
You keep right on sinking.

He's down as far as he can go, B.O.B.

You did it, buddy!
You hit rock bottom.

Yay, Link!

[whimpers]

The X- is one
pricey piece of hardware.

Last thing we want is to end up
parking it in the side of a mountain.

So just light her up,
cruise at top speed

for a couple of seconds,
and then shut her down.

- Don't get fancy out there.
- I never get fancy.

- Why do I have to be here?
- It's called being a good sport.

Don't want to be a good sport.

Sta'abi might wipe
out and crash the X- ,

explosions, balls of flame.
You wouldn't want to miss that.

Really?
You think that might happen?

Oh, there's a chance it will.
. %.

I like those odds.

I think these things are broken.

Ah. Much better.

Booster boots, activate.

I believe I am now sized
appropriately for the task.

General, might I make one suggestion?

No, but I got a feeling
that ain't gonna stop you.

I am merely demonstrating
the best candidate for this job is me.

[engine whirring]

After all, I created...

[screams]

[screams]

Aliens!

Hey, guys, do you know
Sta'abi looks just like Sqweep?

What? Sqweep's in that car?

No, Sta'abi looks just like
Sqweep. Aren't you listening?

Sqweep, you're not
authorized for this mission!

Power down A.S.A.P!

[stammering] Sorry, General.

I seem to have made an
unfortunate miscalculation.

I cannot stop it.

Monsters are on it, General.

This is an alien situation,
and aliens will handle it.

Latching onto the vehicle with my
telekinetic powers, I simply will...

[screams]

Ooh! Stop!
Stop! I order you to...

Ungh!
[grumbling]

[trembling]

Sqweep's coming back!

[screams]

I got this!

Oh, man!
Got the wrong alien.

I thank you regardless.

[groans]

For honor and glory.

♪ Sta'abi, ah, ah... ♪

Ungh!

Agh!

Given the fixed speed of the X- ,

I could calculate an intersection point.

- The slingshot express.
- Seriously?

A kid's life is on the line.
Slingshot me!

Agh!

Now!

[gasps] Link!

Hey, kid. What's up?

Whoo!

If you're attempting a rescue,
please hurry!

Right. Sorry.

I believe the Earth expression is...

Agh!

Both: Agh!

[screaming]

Ah, fish sticks.

Your failed attempt to
save me is appreciated.

Fail...

Ungh.

[groans]

Not while these gills suck air.

[electricity crackling]

[expl*si*n]

- I created it.
- I feel your pain.

Good-bye, you big,
beautiful dream machine.

My dream.

Explain yourself, little Sqweep.

- X- was for me to drive.
- Exactly.

What was the point of
me cheating for Sta'abi

if you were just going
to take the car anyway?

- Answer me that, child!
- Say that again?

- Cheated?
- Um, well, yes,

just a little bit
to assure your victory.

Sort of a victory assist, if you will.

This is an insult to my ancestors
and my descendants.

I must avenge their
past and future honor.

Agh!

Awesome.

Now fleeing for life!

Well said.

Welcome to the end of the world.

I see.

Will it be catered?

Mr. President, we're
looking at a global disaster.

There is a Wisconsin-sized meteor

on a collision course with Earth.
This is armageddon!

And armageddin' hungry over here.

What's it take to scare up a deli tray?

- Mr. President...
- General.

I'm not worried about the planet,
not with your cr*ck team on the job.

Your confidence is well placed, sir.

Oh, I didn't mean you Monsters.

Inferior life-forms,
I grace you with my presence.

[grunts]

So top secret, high level
basically means anybody

can just stroll in whenever they please.

I have been studying
the approaching meteor for months.

This hurtling hunk of doom,
which I have nicknamed Big Ned,

will be most difficult to destroy.

For a pathetic Earthling, perhaps.

For an alien... Pbbt.
Child's play.

So you got the little
cute one rolling on this.

Yes, Sqweep is a busy
bee modifying one of

your missiles to blast
Ned into space dust.

You don't know Ned like I know Ned.

He is a super-dense
amalgamation of minerals.

If the rocket does not
hit at the precise spot,

kiss your thorax good-bye.

Did I hear someone
express a craving for deli?

[chomps]

Go, aliens!

I win... again.

You, sir, forget we Monsters
have defeated aliens in the past.

Must have been beginner's luck.

[grumbles]

[grunts] I feel your pain,
Doc. But what are you gonna do?

They're aliens. It's a space thing.

Not the point, Link.
Dr. C was on the case.

He named the meteor,
for crying out loud.

Which is kind of weird.
Think that was the deal breaker?

It sounds like things
got pretty tense in there.

Now, tell me again about the sandwich.

The sandwich was the least important
part of the story, B.O.B.

Not if you skipped lunch,
which I did... skip lunch.

- It's : A.M., B.O.B.
- I have low blood sugar.

- You don't have blood.
- Well, I told you it was low.

♪ uh-oh, uh-oh ♪

Excuse me, guys.

Ungh.
# oh, yeah #

[grunting] Oh, man.
Anybody seen my phone?

♪ uh-oh, uh-oh ♪

- I thought it was a candy bar.
- A candy bar with a ringtone?

I thought it was a
really cool candy bar.

[low rumbling]

[dramatic instrumental music]

[grunts]

And what do you think you are doing?

I have completed my modifications.

It is now time to analyze
the meteor's flight path

and plot the rocket's trajectory.

Ah, buh, buh, buh.

The President put team alien
in charge of the launch.

Affirmative.

And I am in charge of Team Alien. So...

So this is one of your
unpleasant bossy moments.

Smart child.

Pbbt.

[eerie music]

Must have been beginner's luck.
[scoffs]

Coverton will rue the day
he mocked Monsters.

- Whatcha up to, doc?
- Working.

Doctor, your whatever this is.

Ionic disrupter, and do be careful.

[screams]
[glass shattering]

- I work alone, B.O.B.
- Gotcha.

[laughs diabolically]
[eerie organ music]

[laughs]

- I laugh alone as well, B.O.B.
- [muffled] Okay.

Ooh, brain wave.

Who's up for a rousing
game of hide-and-seek?

- Ooh, can I seek?
- I was thinking you might hide.

- Can I hide?
- Splendid idea, B.O.B.

Off you go.
Now, where was I?

Ah, yes.

[laughs diabolically]
[eerie organ music]

[panting]

Need to find the most
awesomest hiding place ever.

Hmm?

[laughs]

Oh, yeah!
[laughs]

There it is.

[laughs]

While I oversee the
launch with the President,

I command you three... agh!

Choose new words.

I, uh....
request...

[grunts]

- humbly.
- Better.

Look, I simply cannot have
those Monsters ruining this.

Wherever they go, catastrophe follows.

Keep them out.

[growls]

Attention, area-fifty-something,
Coverton here.

There is no need to panic

regarding the rapidly
approaching meteor.

We aliens have got your back.

They gave him the mic?
They never gave me the mic.

And while I have the mic,
I would like to point out that

Monsters drool, Aliens rule.

[laughs]

Coverton out.

[microphone feedback]

Drool not, fellow Monsters.
I have done it.

Ordered a pizza?

We will have sweet, sweet revenge
against Coverton for his cruelty.

Unless he really hates pizza,

this does not seem like much payback.

Ah!

[air sputtering]
Yeah.

- A whoopee cushion?
- No, no. That's too crude.

It's a whoopee cushion
with stealth mode.

[air sputtering]

Next-generation pranking.
k*ller!

Classy, guys. But I don't
think pranks exactly advance

the cause of getting on
the President's good side.

We don't get blamed
if we don't get caught.

Indeed, and with B.O.B. preoccupied,

the odds of inadvertent
disaster are greatly reduced.

And in this case, preoccupied means?

B.O.B. and I are playing a
friendly game of hide-and-seek.

- Except you're not seeking.
- Oh, so "preoccupied"

means B.O.B. Could
be anywhere right now.

Completely unsupervised.

Yeah, that usually guarantees disaster.

Maybe B.O.B. picked
a completely harmless place to hide.

Whoa!

Kind of a rough ride.
[laughs]

[growls]
Vornicarn, down!

It is fuel t*nk, not intruder.

Even if we split up,

I would have to put
odds of finding B.O.B.

Somewhere between hopeless
and utterly hopeless.

Don't sugarcoat it or anything.

Hey, I lose stuff all the time.
Last week, lost my phone.

Dialed it, hamper rang, phone found.

That would not work since
B.O.B. swallowed your phone.

B.O.B. swallowed my phone!

♪ uh-oh, uh-oh ♪

- Yello, Susan's phone.
- B.O.B., it's Susan.

Not likely.
If you were Susan,

you would be calling
me on Susan's phone,

which you are not since
I'm holding Susan's phone.

Okay, look.
You're using Susan's phone,

but you're not Susan, right?

Yeah.
Where are you going with this?

Well, I'm not using Susan's phone,
but I am Susan.

Susan! How you been?

Yes! I've located the cell phone.

Uh, got to call you back, Susan.

I'm being pumped into something.

What is B.O.B.
doing on the launchpad?

- Being pumped into...?
- The rocket!

Fueling sequence engaged.

[laughing]

Would you care to do
the honors, Mr. President?

You bet. We are go for launch.

Clear the launchpad.

All: Ungh!

What the?

Coverton has given strict orders:
This is a no-monster zone.

As promised, another
flawless Team Alien operation.

[beep]
Launch in T-minus seconds.

B.O.B. is doomed!

No, he's not doomed
as long as he has friends like us.

- And?
- How about a swim?

Launch in T-minus seconds.

[rapid beeping]

[exciting music]

Hey, Sta'abi.
[gasps]

Who's an alien-k*lling machine?

Is it you? Is it you?
Are you an alien-k*lling machine?

[growls]

Have at it, Vornicarn.

- Hello.
- Greetings, bug head.

You wish to challenge Sta'abi?

If only, my dear.
Sadly, you are about to leave in a rush.

Bye!

- Well done.
- No problem. Just get B.O.B.

Of course.
I'm in!

[screams]

I'm out!

Ignition.

Whoa!
We have liftoff.

[grunts]

[grunting]

Aw, you found me.

Agh!

[quirky electronic music]

Sweet tooth.
This rocket's trajectory is all wrong.

It's time for the Monsters
to save the planet.

Won't take but a moment.

He did what?

That cockroach put
in his own coordinates.

Hmm.
Which means what exactly?

That rocket does not blast
that meteor out of the sky,

we are doomed!

I see.

[high-pitched screaming]

Shall we?

[triumphant music]

[growling]

[screaming]

Ow.

[growling]

[boom[

Susan!
Nice landing.

All part of the, uh, plan.

I'd like to be briefed on this plan.

Isn't it obvious?
Sabotage.

Actually, it appears the Monsters

have averted Earth's destruction.

[explosions]

- Cheerio, Big Ned.
- Monsters for the win!

What?

Coverton's unique blend
of arrogance and incompetence

prevented him from seeing his mistake.

[gasps]
Hah, burn!

[sighs]

Permission to jiggle
while yelling yay?

Permission granted.

Yay!

[giggles]

But, General, you can't...
Ow!

Why don't you take a seat, dude?

Allow us lucky beginners to help.

I am not through here.
I will be heard.

[air sputtering]