01x20 - Ginormicat!; My Monster, My Master

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Monsters vs. Aliens". Aired: March 23, 2013 - February 8, 2014.*
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American computer-animated television series based on the 2009 DreamWorks Animation film of the same name.
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01x20 - Ginormicat!; My Monster, My Master

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ MVA ♪
♪ MVA ♪


♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ It's us vs. them ♪

♪ Foe vs. friend ♪

♪ Brain vs. B.O.B. ♪

♪ It's a super-freaky job ♪

Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

♪ MVA ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪
[cackles]


♪ Monsters vs. Aliens ♪

♪ MVA ♪

[alarm blares]

What are we looking at here?

No clue, but with this
many alarms, it must be big.

- Game faces, boys!
- Super laser, lock and load!

World-saving mix on shuffle.
[beeps]

[rock music]

Monsters, protect the Earth!

[meows]

We've gotta stop putting
B.O.B. on watch duty.


Save the kitty!
It's in danger!

It needs saving!
O.M.G.!

- Save it now!
- Whoa!

[thunder rumbles]

Yo, Doc.
That gonna be a problem?

Not at all, Link.
Lightning typically only strikes

the tallest object in the area.

Aah!

Both: Whoa!

[meows]

Which, in this case, is Susan.

So as you can see, no damage done.

Kitten smitten.
[meows]


Oh!
Such cuteness defies logic.

Aww, wook at its wittle nose.

Don't get any ideas, guys.

You know Monger's no-pet policy.

Come on!
He'll never know.

Nope. Nuh-uh.
No way.

Oh, my gosh, it's so cute.

We have to keep it
and take pictures of it

sleeping in fancy
teacups forever and ever!

- Yay!
- Yeah!

Real talk... we need to find
someplace to keep it hidden.

Easy. Little guy's teeny tiny.
He's so little.

Men, my allergies never lie.

And right now they're saying someone...

[inhales] has brought a cat...
[inhales] onto my base!

[sneezes]

Now, I want this furry
menace found, ASAP!


You are to use any force necessary

to capture the kitty cat menace.

Move! Move! Move!

[men groaning]

Hunting of prey is Sta'abi's duty.

I shall defeat the K'ittain beast
and feast upon honor!

Sta'aaaaaabi!

And I believe I can
cure your allergies.


- Really?
- Yes.

With radical experimentation.

[foreboding music]

Ta-da!
One primo habi-cat.

Now we add the kitty.
Which is...

[toy squeaks]

[meows]

There you are.

Hey, guys, does kitty look bigger?

[door banging]
[gasps]

Hide it!
[whimpering]

Sta'abi!
Um, what are you doing here?

I am hunting K'ittain beast.

- Have you seen?
- No, no.

Haven't seen it. No.
[meows]

What is this noise?

Oh, it's just Link.
It's his funny way of burping.

- Such a goof.
- Really?

Oh, gesundheit, buddy!

[whimpering]

So yeah. No kitty here.
Just us silly monsters.

Good luck with the hunt.

- Bye, now!
- Sta'abi does not need stupid luck!

Sta'abi is the fiercest
huntress in all the galaxy!

Sta'aaaaaabi!

Aah!
[crash]


How does Sta'abi know about the kitty?

Haven't the foggiest.

But at least it is
currently safe with us.

[squeaks]

Uh, bros. The kitty is a lot
more cut in half than I remember.

- [gasps] It left?
- Ah, yes.

Forgot about the half-hamster door.

I'm, um, not the most
responsible pet owner.

[cackles]
[thunder rumbles]

So this thing's
gonna cure my allergies?

It is an experiment.
We can't be sure.

That's the fun part
about experimenting...

- the danger. [laughs]
- How's it work?

Some kinda
de-molecular high-tech

DNA rewriting mumbo jumbo
space malarky?

[beeps]
[screaming]

[laughs] Well...

Ain't you a big fella?
Okeydokey.

Ol' Henry's gonna pretend
he didn't see that.

[whistles]

Kitty! Oh!

Oh, I'm so glad I found
you, and you're safe now.

You look different.
Did you learn Spanish?

[sniffs]

[meows]
Uh-oh.

[sniffs]
I am acting casual!

[growls]

[clang]

[imitating expl*si*n]

Oh, invasion! Aah!

[muffled groans]

[sputters]

[sneezes]

First attempt failed.

Perhaps a higher power level...
[beeps]

Ah, forget it.

I don't know why I ever
thought you could cure me.

For crying out loud, you
don't even have a nose!

Oh...
be right back.

I must account for this variable.

[meows]

Vornicarn, have you
found the K'ittain?

Mm...
Mm-mm.

By Vrak'naku's skull,

the K'ittain shall not
outsmart Sta'abi!

[sniffs]
Is that gonna cure me?

No, but it will give me a nose,

so I may better understand allergies.

Observe.

Success!

[sneezes]

Ooh.

[both grunt]

Oops.

[video game beeping]

[meows]

[chomps]

[gasps] Giant k*ller
kittens are attacking!

Save yourselves!

[all screaming]

[screams]

[purrs] Wait!
Is that purring?

- Ha!
- Aah!

Guys, it's raining Sta'abis again.
Weatherman's a liar.

We really gotta teach her
how to use doors one day.

Doors are for the weak.
And you shall not steal my glory.

The K'ittain is Sta'abi's prey.

Sta'abi, stop!
The truth is we brought in the kitty.

So it's our job to find it.

You brought the furry
sneeze inducer in here?

[all gasp]

Ah, you know what?
Cannot be unseen.

- [sniffs] You need baths.
- Let's just do this.

You willingly disobeyed
my no-pet policy?

Yes, we broke the rules,
but come on.

- It's just a teeny tiny kitty.
- Shame!

[groans]

We're gonna need a bigger litter box.

How'd that dander
menace get ginormic?

Perplexing.
Perhaps it was the end result

of a complex metamorphosis

brought on by auxological phenomen...

It was the lightning.

Susan and the kitty
were both struck by lightning.

Comic book math... I buy it.

It seems the electrical current
transferred a small portion

of Susan's quantonium
into the feline.

But I can still go big.

It was too small an
amount for you to notice.

However, it appears
quantonium reacts differently

in feline anatomy.
Readings show it will keep growing

until it's larger than the Earth.

Ah, yes.
That's what I have too.

Monsters, I have never...
[sneezes] been so...

[sneezes]
mad in my career!

You're gonna mop up
every last drop of snot

I've sneezed in the base.
You hear me?

[crash]

[gasps]

[yowls]

[whimpers]

Mayday!

Monsters, stop that Ginormicat!

[gasps]

[meowing]

Too bad we don't have, like,
a giant leash or something.

Good idea, Bob.

[grunts]

Hiyah!

[grunting]

[meows]
[laughs]

It tickles!
[laughs]

No, no, no, no... oof!

[squish]

[meowing]

[buzzing]

Good, Mega-cat.

Now stay put until the
General is safely...


[gasps]

- Coverton?
- I thought I would never see...

[gasps]
What happened to your head?

Minor miscalculations
with a nose... a nose...

[sneezes] Oh, dear.

Like General Monger, I too seem
to be allergic to cat dander.

[sneezes]
Gaah!

[screaming]

Oh!

Guys, it's too strong.
We have to shrink it down.

There might be a way.
If lightning struck you,

and quantonium went into the kitty,

then lightning striking the kitty
should make quantonium go into you.

Where are we gonna get
electricity in the desert?

Perhaps with a calculated mixture
of mineral deposits and ionic...

Static electricity!
B.O.B., balloon time.

[screams]

Kitty.

[squeaking]

That's it?

[squeaks]

Aah!

We need a stronger electrical source.

Sta'abi!

[gasps]

[slow-motion]
Oh, no!

Both: Whoa!

Ugh!

Ow!

[meows]

[sighs]
Back to normal.

[purrs]

Victory for Sta'aaaa... bi.

[meows]

Private Thompson, do you accept

adoption duties of this
furry little ball of trouble?

Dismissed, solider.
And good riddance.

[sneezes]
[crash]

I'm gonna miss that little giant.

- Indeed.
- Cheer up, guys.

Besides, I think we've got enough
little monsters to look after.

[clears throat]
Privacy.

Dodge, weave, double dodge,

and... [stammers]
[banging]

Player one loses.

Oh, man! Again?

That makes, what, like,
games?

- How do you do it, B.O.B.?
- Do what?

[shouting gibberish]

[screams]

- Where are they?
- Who you talking about?

The defeated.
I heard their anguished cries

and came to laugh at their shame faces.

Oh, I guess you're
looking for me then.

- Laugh away.
- Ha ha!

Shame fa... wait.
You are not the defeated.

Where are your gaping wounds?

Your severed limbs?
Your head stump?

We were playing a
video game, Sta'abi.

- We were?
- I just got this neXt Box,

and Bob's beaten me every
single time. It's my box!

Pressing buttons makes
me feel like a big boy.

I will play this game of
videos against you, Blob,

and I will win.

Player one loses.

Again!

Player one loses.

No! Again!

Player one loses.

Player one loses.

Loses. Loses.

Loses. Wins...

Yes!

For losing most games in a row.

So you're saying it's not taco
Tuesday or spaghetti Saturday?

Player one loses...
again.


[screams]

Aah! My neXt Box!

[growls]

Totally had it coming,
is what I was going to say.

I was going to destroy
it myself, and then...

[snarls]

Sta'aaaaaabi!

No!

Oh, mighty master B.O.B.,
you have bested me in battle.

Teach me your sacred secrets of combat.

My student, if you want to
be like me, the first thing

you gotta know is I don't do
anything on an empty stomach.

Because a warrior's
stomach must be filled

- with bile and spite?
- Um, more like pastrami.

- I like lots of layers.
- Yes, master. Many layers.

I believe now is an
appropriate time for a "wha?"

- And a follow-up: Double wha?
- Yeah, that's happening.

Now can we get back to
talking about my neXt Box?

My poor, sweet neXt Box.

Sta'abi, I'm gonna
teach you to walk like me,

talk like me, and think
like somebody else.

'Cause I don't do a lot
of the thinking, per se.

[groans]

[straining]

[thud]

Go!

[toilet flushes] Whee!

- How'd you do?
- I have ruined my boots.

[zipping]

- Occupied.
- Oh.


Sta'abi, you seem like you're having

a hard, per se, time
getting the essence of B.O.B.

It is true, master.

Aw, it's simple.
Always don't do the thing

that you aren't supposed to not do.

- I don't understand.
- There you go, friend.

Now you're getting it. Come on.

I want to show you something

- that will change your life.
- Whoo!

All right, good.
A little bit here and boom.

Factory fresh neXt Box.

Link, though your
repairs are, um, novel,

I'm not sure they're
scientifically sound.

Doc, here's what I've
learned on my little journey.

As long as you believe in yourself,

- you can...
- Aah! Fire in the hole!

[sobbing]

There, there, Link.

No need to wail,
simper, and/or caterwaul.

- I can fix this.
- Seriously? [sparks crackle]

'Cause it looks pretty toast.

- Just need a few spare parts.
- Hey, my old VCR.

And my hip-hoppercise
tape is still in there.

Who threw this out?

I-I have no idea.
Ooh, look at this.

A discarded data server.

An excellent candidate for parts.
Provided it still works.

Let's give it some juice.

[buzzing]

It's booting up. That's a good sign.

Roo, roo, roo...

"Roo"? Is it trying to talk?

Rule violation -C!
Unauthorized power cord.


Both: Rule-bot!

Aah!

The Rule-bot.

I thought we'd seen the last
of that mechanical menace.

Me too.
You said as long as we never

plugged him in again, we'd... ooh.
We done a bad thing, Doc.

All will obey the Rule-bot!

- Hey, that smarts!
- Ow!

[beeping]
[both groan]

It's really something, huh?
Link first turned me on to this.

- Master, it is a rock.
- Mm-hmm.

And we've been
staring at it for hours.

- Yep.
- I do not get the point.

Oh, it has no point.
It's round. See?

So Sta'abi should
be round like the rock?

Wait.

[sputtering]

I forgot the question.

[growls]

I do not wish to be impatient, master,

but when will you teach
me to crush my enemies

and make candlesticks
out of their shinbones?

Don't know.
Now let me ask you a question...

When will you teach me
to crush my shinbones

and make enemies out
of their candlesticks?

[laughs] See?
It goes both ways, little friend.

[growls]

Enough!
You show me how to make sandwiches

and stare at rocks and
ruin boots in toilet,

but never any glorious combat!

Do you know anything

about mercilessly
destroying enemies or not?

Rule violation -F:
Unnecessarily loud ranting.


- [gasps] Rule-bot.
- Wait a minute. I know that voice.

- Yes, I said, "Rule-bot."
- On the tip of my tongue.

It is Rule-bot!

Rule-bot! Rule-bot!
[pounding glass]

Rule-bot!

Prepare to be standardized
for optimal behavior.


Hey, guys! Maybe you could
settle this. Is that...

Rule-bot is controlling us.

And he's going to
make us control you too.

Yes.
You will obey the rules.


All the rules. All the time.

Soon I shall control every man,
woman, and child in the world!


Especially the children.
They're so unruly.


Is washing hands before
dinner such a hard concept?


All will obey the Rule-bot!

Rule-bot! [laughs]
Okay, you were right, Sta'abi.

[growls]

Containment violation.
Minions, stop her!


Forced to act... against my will.

And speak... like...
I'm constipated!

Not my fault!
I'm not doing this!

Aah! [groans]

Remember...
I am a fellow alien. Aah!

Back, or I will
bludgeon you with this!

"This"? "This" is me!

[groans]
[beeps]

Last time, we b*at Rule-bot,

by making him
break his own rules.

Overloaded his...
logic board!

And who's more...
illogical than... B.O.B.?

I'm a glass of water!

Yes, I must be B.O.B.

Aah!

Rule violation -D!
No rolling on hangar floor.


- This sandwich has many layers.
- Layers?

Sandwich discussion is
illogical in this circumstance.


Maybe. Hold that thought.

[toilet flushes]

I just flushed myself.
Yay!

Your behavior is illogical.
It has no point.


Yes, it is round.

Illogical!
Does not compute!


Not... not... not logical!

[powers down]

[growls]

[pants]

Sta'abi!
I think you did it!

Huzzah!
Rule-bot once again is...

[beeps]
Rule-bot has fooled you!


Rule-bot improved its logic board
since our last encounter.


Also its practical joke board.
Ha, ha, ha.


Rule-bot will rule all!

[groans]

[snarls]

[groans]

Sta'abi!
Being water is fun!

Yes. Yes, it is.

[grunts]

[all grunting]

Sta'abi!

[yodeling]

Ha ha.

[clinks glass]

Rule violation H- :

No liquid in the
Rule-b-b-b-bot...


- Yeah!
- Yeah!

I'm controlling me again.

Hold on, let me make
sure with a bicep flex.

She-gow!
It's all good there.

Now let me check out the pecs.

[grunts] Oh, yeah!

- That was awesome, Sta'abi.
- Thank you, master.

Well, what do you
say we call it a day?

Yes, master.
We shall call it a day.

Sha'agout!

Uh, okay.
Sha'agout to you too.

[groans]

Per se.
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