03x21 - Martha Treads the Boards/Martha's Pack

[bunniefuu]

♪ Martha was an average dog

♪ She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

♪ When she ate
some alphabet soup ♪

♪ Then what happened
was bizarre. ♪

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain,
and now...

♪ She's got a lot to say

♪ Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

♪ Martha speaks

♪ Yeah, she speaks
and speaks and speaks ♪

♪ And speaks and speaks.

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

♪ Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

♪ She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. ♪

Hi, there.

♪ She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ Sometimes wrong,
but seldom in doubt ♪

♪ Martha will tell you
what it's all about ♪

♪ That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two.

♪ Hear her speak

♪ Martha speaks and speaks
and speaks and speaks and... ♪

♪ Communicates, enumerates

♪ Elucidates, exaggerates

♪ Indicates and explicates

♪ Bloviates and overstates
and... ♪

(panting)

♪ ...hyperventilates!

♪ Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
♪ Martha speaks.

(deep voice):
Hello, I'm Martha's grandfather.

(high-pitched voice):
And I'm Martha's grandma!

Today's show is about ancestors,
like me and Grandma.

And also customs, culture
and traditions.

Oh, look, here comes someone
from the younger generation.

It's Martha.

Hi, Martha.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, Grandpa.

Uh...

Watch for words about family,
relatives and culture

and we'll see you
at the end of the show.

DAD:
What a morning!

Sun, blue skies,

and I'm getting married to the
loveliest girl in the world!

Aren't you
already married?

I'm not really
getting married.

I'm just practicing
my lines.

The community theater
group is putting on
a play, Martha.

Mom and Dad
are the stars.

And guess who gets
to be stage manager

and yell "Places!"
and stuff.

You?
Wow!

It's a play about
two people in love

but they come from
mundos diferentes--

different worlds.

Darling, how can we
be happy together?

We come from
different families,

different traditions.

What are traditions?

Traditions are things
you do because your family

or your community has
always done them that way.

Like celebrating
Thanksgiving,

or Hanukah,
or Christmas.

And our family has
its own traditions--

like Sunday dinner
with Grandma and Grandpa

and our annual
family camping trip.

Dad, annual means you do it
every year.

We went camping once.

But we're going again this year.

I promise.

(dramatically):
Why? Because I am...

(stiffly):
a traditional man.

MR. BOXWOOD:
Hold it.

We need more
feeling, Daniel.

Hector is a
bullfighter.

He is telling the woman he loves
that he can never give that up!

It's part of
his culture.

Okay.

A person's culture
is everything

that has been
passed down to him

from his family
and his country.

Bullfighting is a part
of Spanish culture

just like baseball is part
of American culture.

Or...
Or like

playing fetch is
part of dog culture.

Exactly.

Thank you, Martha.

Kids, I may have just had
a stroke of genius.

Everybody take five.

I want to have a chat
with my newest star.

Who? Me?

MRS. BOXWOOD:
We thought you
two could share

the star dressing room.

The door is a
little sticky.

The trick is
to give the knob

a little flick
of the wrist.

Et voilà!

The bull?

You want me to play the bull?

It's the best role
in the play.

Just the
costume alone.

You've got the only talking dog
in the whole theater industry,

and I don't even get any lines.

Martha, any fool can say
a few lines.

But you,
with your mere presence,

must convince the audience

you are the bull!

Say it for me.

Say what?
"I am the bull."

Say it.

(weakly):
I am the bull.

(with gusto):
I am the bull!

I am the bull!

This is the dinner
scene, Martha.

You're not on until
the bullfighting scene.

Love the energy,
Martha!

But remember, don't say it
out loud.

Just think it.

Think it.

MR. BOXWOOD:
That's right.

(sighs)
Okay.

Let's take it from "How do you
like your eggplant?"

And...

How do you like your
eggplant, Hector?

Muy sabroso--
very tasty!

Where did you
get the recipe?

It's a family
secret,

passed down from
generation

to generation.

What's
a generation?

A generation is
the people

in a family who are
about the same age.

Jake and I are one generation.

Mom and Dad are another
generation.

Then Grandma and Grandpa,
and so on.

DAD:
Delicious!

What will the
main course be?

Chicken?

Oh. This is
the main dish.

Our family has been
vegetarian for generations.

That means we only eat
vegetables.

What did you say you do
for a living, Hector?

MR. BOXWOOD:
Lester?

We need tension here.

Hector fights bulls.

Maria's family
are animal lovers.

They don't eat meat.

This is why,
in the end,

Maria and Hector
can never be married.

(gasps)

They can't
get married?

They don't
eat meat?

How can they not

get married?

They love
each other!

So what if they come
from different cultures?

Helen, you're
the stage manager.

Didn't you read
the script?

I thought there must have been
a scene missing at the end.

They have to get married.

It's a love story.

MR. BOXWOOD:
No, no, I'm sorry.

We mustn't change one word.

This play is a masterpiece.

MOM:
You look great.

Just like a real
Spanish bullfighter.

"I am a
traditional man.

Soy un hombre
trad-I-cional!"

Actually, it's
tradicio-NAL.

Really?

"Soy un hombre
tradic-IO-nal!"

(giggles)

Everyone, gather 'round.

Our community
theater's annual...

Places, please!

No time.

Well, break a leg, everyone.

Break a leg?

It means "good
luck," Martha.

It's an old theater
custom to say it.

Oh, right.

What's a custom?

Is that like
a costume?

No, a costume is
something you wear.

Like this cape.

A custom is something people
have done for a long time.

It's customary for actors
to say "break a leg"

instead of "good luck"
before the show

because they think it's
bad luck to say "good luck."

I hope that's wrong,

because you just said
"good luck" twice.

Oops! Oh, well.

What could
possibly go wrong?

(crowd murmuring)

Excuse me, I couldn't
help noticing the way
you are standing.

You are a dancer,
aren't you?

(bullfight music plays)

I am the bull.

I am the bull!

(roars)

Why does that dog have
paper cones on its head?

I'm the bull!

(whispers):
Psst! Pull out
the sword.

(whispers):
Oh, right.

No, Hector!

You must not fight this
helpless animal.

But Maria, I am
a traditional man.

Soy un hombre
trad-I-cional.

(whispers):
Tradicio-NAL.

(whispers):
Tradicio-NAL.

(loudly):
Tradicio-NAL.

(applause)

Well, that was weird.

How does my shawl look?

HELEN:
Places! Curtain going up!

Great! Let's go.

Uh-oh.

Well, Maria,

tonight we meet this young man
you've spoken so much about.

Maria?

Mom! You're on!

(Dad struggles
to open the door)

MOM:
Give it a flick of the
wrist, Danny, remember?

DAD:
Right.

A flick...

Oh, no.

Maria!

I don't know what
could be keeping her.

This is weird.

Nothing's happening.

Aquí hacemos?

What do we do?

The window.

Nice weather.

MRS. BOXWOOD:
It certainly is.

MR. PARKINGTON:
Maria!

What kept you?

Um... hola, Papa.

(loud clunking noise)

GUARD # :
Tights and a cape?

Guy thinks he's
a superhero.

DAD:
It's okay!

There's a woman trapped inside.

I have to rescue her.

Mama, you cannot
judge this young man

until you meet him.

(knock on the door)

That must be
him now.

I hope.

Buenos tardes...

Hector?

Afternoon, folks!

So this is the
young man you wish
to marry, Maria?

Uh, sí!

This, is, uh, Hector.

Hiya!

Hey, I thought the dog
was the bull.

Now she's the bullfighter?

I have to hurry.

I'll explain later.

(whistle blows)

This is the main dish.

Our family has been
vegetarian for generations.

I prefer sausages.

(audience laughs)

Hector?

Hola!

Sorry I'm late.

He's not
Hector.

I'm Hector!

A phony Hector?

The mind reels!

(whistle blows)

Got to run!

Officer Bradshaw?

He must be after
that phony Hector.

He went thataway.

Doorknob.

Where's the doorknob?

MOM:
I don't know.

Look around.

This has certainly
been an exciting day.

MARTHA:
Who's this?

Um, I'm your sister?

Whose sister?

Oh, you probably
came for this.

Did she just give
him a doorknob?

Gracias.

Maybe I'll go out the other way.

(audience gasps)

HELEN:
But why can't
you accept him

and his culture?

And have that man
in my family?

I would rather
have this home

fall down
around our ears.

(Dad screams)

Duck!

(laughter and applause)

I'm here!

Sorry I'm...

(gasps)

Maria?
Of course.

Your sister has been
looking for you.

And... wait!

Is this Hector?

I thought that
was Hector!

But now I realize
it was the bull.

RONALD:
That makes no
sense whatsoever!

It's true.

I am the bull.

And I may just be
a simple animal,

but from what I can see, Hector
and Maria love each other.

And I don't see why tradition,
or customs,

or anything else
should stand in their way.

Also, I don't think
you should fight me.

The bull is right.

If tradition says
I can't marry Maria,

then the heck
with tradition!

Yay!

I mean, uh,
felicitaciones!

Oh, Hector!

Oh, Maria!

I think I'm going to cry.

It's true, darling.

We must all be
willing to change,

even if we are...

A man...
a woman...

a bull of
tradition.

That was the best community
theater play ever!

(cheers and applause)

How would you like to be

in next year's community
theater play, too?

Okay, but only
if I can speak.

Sure thing.

This could be the start
of a whole new tradition.

Our town has a lot
of traditions.

The annual hokey hoedown has
been a tradition

for almost a hundred years.

Boo!

It's not the custom
to wear a costume,

but some people do.

Whoa!
Uh-oh.

The annual play is
another tradition.

Traditionally, the Boxwoods
build a haunted house

in their garage at Halloween.

(spooky moan)

Yikes!

We have a family tradition

of taking Mom to a nice
restaurant on her birthday.

There's only one problem:

traditionally, dogs aren't
allowed to go to any of them.

HELEN:
Martha!

MOM:
We have
a new custom.

HELEN:
From now on, we're going to eat
outside so you can join us.

I can see I'll like
this tradition.

Can I get a steak?
Raw?

MARTHA:
Why not?

Because dogs don't get
allowances, Martha.

Helen gets
an allowance.

And?

Okay, she's not a dog.

All right, but still,

it's the principle
of the thing.

Martha, Helen does
chores for her allowance.

She takes out the trash.

She clears the table.

I do chores.

What chores do you do?

Plenty of them!

I keep gophers
out of the yard.

There are no
gophers in the yard.

You see what a good
job I'm doing?

Now how about
an allowance?

I'm sorry, Martha,

but people just
don't give money

to their dogs.

It's unfair.

I bet if I were a person,
I'd get an allowance.

What is that
you're doing?

A map?

It's a family tree.

It shows all your relatives
and how they're related.

These are all my ancestors
up here.

Ancestors?

Your ancestors are the people

who came before you
in your family.

So my ancestors are up here.

Here's Grandma
Lucille's mom and dad,

who are my
great-grandparents.

And below are all
the sons and daughters

and grandchildren and
great-grandchildren.

Here's me and Jake.

Wow, that's great.

Where am I?
Where's Skits?

Oh, a family tree
is just people.

It shows how people are related.

Could you put us
in anyway?

Me and Skits?

I would, but
it's homework.

I need to do it right.

Oh... okay.

Not getting allowance
is bad enough,

but to not be part
of the family tree...

Where's my family tree,
I'd like to know.

Hey, wait a minute.

I know where I could go
to find out.

(woofs)

Back where I came
from, that's where.

MARTHA:
The animal shelter.

Sure, I remember the
first time you were here.

You were a great little pup.

But what about my
ancestors, Kazuo?

Well, actually, dogs
are descendants

of a very
interesting family.

I had a feeling we
were, right Skits?

(woofs)

Uh, what is
a descendant again?

Well, when you say you're
descended from someone,

that means you're related to
someone who lived before you.

For instance, I'm a descendant
of my grandfathers

and my great-great-
great-grandfathers.

They're ancestors
and I'm a descendant.

Then who am I a descendant of?

TV NARRATOR:
The wolf is a fearsome
predator,

featured in tales and folklore.

But did you know that wolves
are the main ancestors of...

today's pet dog?

(yips)

I'm descended from wolves?

That's right.

TV NARRATOR:
Before they were domesticated

by humans, dogs, like wolves,
traveled in packs.

A pack is a group of animals
who live and hunt together.

A pack?

Hmm...

(woofs)

We came to the zoo because
they have wolves here.

Maybe they'll let us
join their pack.

Come on.

(zoo animals roar)

Walk fast!
Walk fast!

Maybe we can find
a nicer pack to join.

(cat meowing, dogs yipping)

Holy heritage!

We don't need to find a pack,
Skits.

We can make our own.

(inquisitive woof)

Okay, let's hear your wolf howl.

(unimpressive howling)

Okay, we'll work on it.

The main thing is,

we're a pack, right?

We stick together,
we hunt together.

We're the wolf pack and
nobody better mess with us.

(howling)

Okay, pack,
the first thing we do

is the first thing
our ancestors did:

We prowl for food.

(yips)

(panting)

(sighs)

Look, I can see you guys
don't understand

what being a pack is all about.

We're not pets anymore.

We're going to live like
our ancestors, the wolves.

We're a pack and there's only
one place for us now:

out in the wild.

(owl hoots)

(gasps):
What was that?

(barks)

An owl?
Right, I knew that.

No need to panic.

Why? 'Cause we're
the wolf pack!

(howling)

Nobody better mess
with us, right?!

(barking, howling)

And now that we're out
in the wild, what do we do?

(yips)

Hide-and-go-seek?

Hide-and-go-seek
is a human game.

We're animals.

We're hungry.

We...

hunt.

We hunt.

(dejected growl)

Okay, now squirrels are fast,

but we're a pack.

We can work as a team
to confuse our prey, right?

(sighs)

Like on the
Animal Channel.

(excited woofs)

Okay, so here's what
we're going to do...

(bees buzzing)

Look, guys, you're doing
this wrong.

We need to follow
the natural order here.

You see, we're hunters like
our ancestors, the wolves.

(squeaking)

What about you?

Well, you're the prey.

That's a very important role.

(squeaking)

What does it involve?

Well, basically you let us
eat you for dinner.

Hey, that's not nice!

(squeaky laughter)

I got a nut.
That's good, right?

Okay, okay,

I'll admit it--

round one went to those
stinking squirrels.

But hey, it's only our first
day, right, pack?

(yips)

What do you mean how long
are we doing this?

Forever.

We're wild dogs now.

(howls)

(barks)

What are we
going to eat?

Plenty.

There's... spiders.

Yum, right?

Nice, tasty spider sandwich.

My mouth is
watering already.

And grubs. Don't forget grubs,

which are these
white wormy things

that crawl around
in rotten logs.

(faint motor whirring)

(barks)

Wait! Where are
you going?

Cisco!

We're a pack!

(woofs)

Ah, let him go.

Now only the strong ones
are left, right, pack?

Hey, look, you guys!

This is great.

We can use this
as our wolf den.

(sniffs, barks)

Of course
it smells damp.

It is damp.

(barks)

Well, yes, I am
cold too, Burt.

I am also
a short-haired breed.

But you know what
keeps me warm?

It's knowing that
I'm my own beast.

I don't have to
depend on humans...
(faint crackling sound)

I'm part of
the wolf pack.

Right?
Burt?

Where are
you going?

Just don't come
crying to me

about all the fun
you're missing out on.

(sighs)

Well, looks like it's
just you and me, Skits.

Hey, shove over.

(woofs)

You just need
to scooch.

Now scoo..

(Skits howling,
Martha yelling)

This is going
to be a long night.

(barks)

What day is today?

Skits, day names
are human inventions.

From now on
we have no day names.

There is Woofday and Woofday
followed by Woofday.

There is no Thursday.
There is no...

(woofs)

Okay, yes,
it's Wednesday.

(woofs)

You're right!

Courageous Collie Carlo
is on tonight!

We have to...

Wait, no, hang on.

Skits, we have
to ask ourselves:

Are we going to live like humans

or are we going to live
like wolves?

(barks)

You're supposed to say
"like wolves."

(whimpers, woofs wearily)

Yeah, well, I miss home too,
but we're not humans.

If you said we were part of
the family on your homework,

you'd be wrong.

And a pack is better
than a family anyway.

No one can tell you that
you're not part of it.

(barks)

(whimpers)

Okay, okay,
go watch your show.

(barks happily)

(whimpers)

Don't worry
about me.

I'll be fine.

I'm my own pack.

It's okay, Martha.

You're a pack of one.

Slipping in and out
of the shadows,

a lone hunter.

Hang on.

What have we here?

Martha spots the unknowing prey.

Her wolflike instincts kick in.

The dog waits for its moment.

It's a matter of split-second
timing that will decide...

whether she'll have a delicious
duck dinner for one,

or spend the night
with an empty belly.

Something is wrong
with this duck.

It seems to have
a broken wing.

Helpless and unprotected, it is
no match for the hungry hound.

And now...

the dog makes...

her move!

How is he, doc?

You were right,
it was a broken wing.

It's good you brought
him in so quickly.

Can I go talk to him?

Sure.

Does it hurt?

(quacks)

Well, I'm sorry
if I scared you.

I can't help it.

I'm a beast.

(quacks)

Well, yes, I did
bring you here.

I suppose that part
isn't very beastly,

but I'm still getting
the hang of it.

Up until now I've
just been a house dog.

(quacks)

What's wrong with that? Well...

(quacks)

Sure, there are meals.

(quacks)

TV? Of course.

(quacks)

You would?

Well, maybe I
can help you.

MARTHA:
Can we keep him? Please?

I'll watch him.

I mean, just until
he's better.

And then it's
back to the woods.

Well, I don't
see why not.

At least until
his wing works.

Great!

You're in, duck.

(quacks)

Sorry.
Ralph.

His name is Ralph.

(quacks)

Well, I'm glad
you're here, Martha.

I have something
to show you.

After we talked,

I worked on my
homework some more.

See? I added to it.

Hey, it's
Skits and me.

I told Mrs. Clusky

that I thought
being part of a family

is more than
just being related.

Sometimes it's
kind of like...

A pack?
Sure.

Mrs. Clusky said she
could never leave Francois

out of her family tree.

I'm sorry if you
didn't feel like...

didn't feel like you...

(quacks)

...were part
of the family.

It's okay.

Being a wild beast isn't
all it's cracked up to be.

I decided I'm
one lucky duck.

MARTHA:
Now that I'm back,

you think Dad'll give me
an allowance?

HELEN:
Martha!

(duck quacks)

Relatives are people
in your family,

like your mom and your dad

or their moms and dads,
who are your grandparents.

This is three generations
of my family.

Sisters and brothers are also
parientes, or relatives,

like Helen's brother Jake
and my brother Jorge.

Jorge's daughter, Carolina,

and my daughter,
Helen, are cousins.

A cousin is the child

of your mom or dad's
brother or sister.

I only have one cousin
on my mother's side,

but on my
father's side...

I have a sister in Milwaukee.

She has three daughters.

My sister in Hawaii
has four kids.

And I'm trying to remember

how many my sister
Rebecca has now.

REBECCA:
Nine!

HELEN:
Let's just say

I have a lot of cousins
on my dad's side.

Those are my relatives.

(deep voice):
Did you catch all the words
about ancestors,

relatives, cultures
and traditions?

Let's see some again.

Traditions are things
you do because your family

or your community has always
done them that way.

A generation is the
people in a family

who are about
the same age.

A person's culture
is everything

that has been passed down to him
from his family and his country.

(deep voice):
Bye!

(high-pitched voice):
Bye!

Bye!

Relatives... I thought
they'd never leave.