03x02 - Hop 'Til You Drop/Turning Point

[bunniefuu]

[car honks]

[frogs croaking]

[yawns]

[all] Where you going,
Anne?

Uh, the mailbox.

Sounds exciting.

Can we come?
Please?
[grunting]

Uh... yeah. I guess.

[both] Yay!
Whoo-hoo!

[squeaks]

You know,
I used to only get the mail
to intercept my report card.

But these days-- Huh?

Hey, smallish humans.

[screams]
Hey! Watch it!

You overgrown stinkbugs!

What did you call us?

Sorry, sorry.
She's just a baby.

[chuckles]
Weirdest baby
I've ever seen.

[growls]

Ooh! That looks fun.

[Anne] Sprig, no!
[grunts]

[pants]

[Hop Pop]
A free vacation?
[gasps]

Just for listening
to your talk?

Well, sign me up.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[gulping]

Ah!

Something wrong,
kiddo?

Where do I start?

Polly nearly got
in a fight.

Hop Pop was seconds away
from getting scammed.

And Sprig almost got
turned into wood chips.

Wait. Sprig is made
out of wood?

[groans]

I'm exhausted just trying
to keep them all alive.

[laughs] Sounds like
being a parent.

The trick is to ease them
into the world.

Slow and steady like how
I'm easing this egg into--

Dang it!

Just be patient.
This is a lot of new
for them.

Yeah, you're right.
Slow and steady.

[vocalizes, gasps]

Bleh!

Think you're tough?

Bring it on,
humans.

Free money?
And all I have to do is give you
my bank account numbers?

[inhales, screaming]

[grunting]
Nope.

Slow and steady
ain't gonna cut it.

You three will be dead
in two days.

Is that a thr*at?
You okay, Anne?

Here. Take this free
stress test I got
from that guy.

No. The responsible thing
to do is to train you
all at once

at the most chaotic
and dangerous place I know.

The mall... where I learned
life's most important skills.

And where you're gonna learn
the lessons you need to survive
in my world.

[scoffs] Survive?
Your world is soft, Anne.

Yeah. I mean,
the animals don't even try
to disembowel you.

Yeah, we don't need
no stinking--

[all scream]

Ow!

[clears throat] Proceed.

I've come up
with a specific task
for each of you.

First up, Polly. You need
to control your temper.

It's drawing
too much attention,

and we're trying
to keep a low profile.

I say what I want
when I want!

Maybe in Wartwood,
but not here.

Your mission is to go
into that store

and build a custom plushy
without fighting anyone.

Huh. Child's play.

Sprig,
you can't touch everything
or you're gonna lose a limb.

But there's
so many new surfaces
and textures.

Your mission is
to walk through that gallery
of art installations

without touching
any of them.

Eh,
looks simple enough.

Finally, Hop Pop.

You need to stop taking
free stuff.

In my world,
everything has a price.

Then why did they
call it "free," Anne?

Hmm? Because they think
I'm gullible and easily scammed?

Yep.
Oh, well, that's actually
pretty clever.

Your mission is to make it
through Kiosk Alley

without falling
for any free scams.

[laughs]

I'll be watching all of you
from up here.

You got 20 minutes
to complete your missions.

And if one of us
screws up?

Then you can't be trusted
to leave the house... ever.

No way! Scatter!
Since when do you
set the stakes?

[all scream, grunt]

Oh, boy.

Piece of cake!
[blows raspberry]

Hmm. This will do.

Yoink, yoink.

Hmm. No, thanks.

Don't know why Anne thought
this would be difficult.

Huh?
[babbles]

[Anne] Build a custom plushy
without fighting anyone.

Oh, hello there.

I think there's been
a misunderstanding.

But that's--
[spits]

What the--
Hey, lady!

Your chubby spawn
is ruining my work.

Did you just call
my kid a spawn?

[thinking] Focus, Polly.
Don't make a scene.

[sighs]
Know what?
It's fine.

I'll just get more--
Hey!
[babbles]

- Hey!
-[giggling]

Must contain fury!

Whoa!

Such textures
to explore.

[gasps] Whoa!

[grunts, giggles]

[Anne] Then you can't be trusted
to leave the house ever.

Whoa. It's fine.
Totally fine.

I can just look
and appreciate
from afar.

[humming]

[groans]

[pants, groans]

[grunts]
Come on, Sprig.
Fight it.

[groans]

Must be some kind
of performance piece.

Sir, how would you like
a free gift card?

[groans]
You there, do you wanna
regrow that hair?

I know you do.

Hey there, handsome.
Wanna start your modeling career
with some headshots?

Just need your ID.

It's 100%,
no strings attached, free.

[groaning]

[gasps, grunts]

[stomach rumbling]
Oof.

It's the last time
I get sushi out of
the vending machine. Hmm?

[gasps] Mark here.

Got a suspicious
looking COD,
Creepy Old Dude, on radar.

I'm in pursuit.

[hums] So far, so good.

The Anne Boonchuy trial by fire
is really paying off.

OMG. Anne!
Is it really you?

Where have you been?

Is it true you went missing
or ran away or d*ed
or something?

Don't be ridiculous, Gabby.
I was just on my family's farm.

In Alaska.
For five months.

Well, now that you're back
I got to catch you up
on all the hot goss.

Listen,
I'm sorta--
So...

Bridget got mad at Carlos
'cause she thought Carlos
went to the movies with Johanna.

But it was actually
Yoko.

So then Yoko and Bridget
stopped being BFFs until
they both got mad at Tommy,

because Tommy said,
"We've only been dating
since second grade.

We're not soul mates."

[groaning]

I can't do this.

These things
are just so cool.

Yeah. And then I said,
"Dude, you're gonna get caught."

Right? So obvious.

Chance.

Touch.

Feeling.

[chuckles]

Uh-oh.

Whoa!

[screams, grunts]

[babies babbling]
Almost done. Ha!

[grunts, laughs]

Whoa!

[babbles]

No! Please!

I'm so tired!
This madness needs
to stop!

[babbles]

That's it!

[screams]

-[Polly grunts]
-[cries]

-[grunts]
-[babbling]

Can someone get
the manager?

[chuckles]
Take that, Anne.

Told you your world
was easy-pea--
[gasps]

It can't be.
Thousands of coppers just there
for the taking.

For free!

They didn't know it,

but they ended up going
to the same restaurant.

Chance.

[gasps]

We got a disrober
stealing wishes in progress.
Over.

So what started out
as a love triangle

is now some kind of disgusting
love rhombus.

-[Sprig screams]
-[gasps]

[all screaming]

[grunting]

I may have touched
something!

Oh, sh**t!
Good to see you, Gabs.
Got to go.

Later, Anne.
Glad you made it
back from Alaska.

[Sprig, Polly screaming]

Gangway!
Angry moms coming through!

[all crying]

Oh. At least it can't
get any worse.

[Hop Pop]
Help me, Anne!
Help me!

[screams]

Hop Pop,
why are you green?

The cursed fountain did
this to me.

You were right, Anne!
Everything has its price.

Okay, first things first.
Gotta clean up this mess.

You're doing great,
sweetie.

[grunts]
[child screams]

[shutter clicks]

-[gasps]
-[grunts]

Honestly, I can't tell
the difference.

Oh, hey. Bada-bing.

- Ooh.
-[babies crying]

Can I help you,
ladies?

Why, yes.
We're looking
for a ruffian

who was making trouble
for our little angels.

I've got just the guy.

Excuse me, sir.

I have a number of ladies here
who would like to complain.

You listen here...
[all chattering]

Headquarters,
I've got a pack of MIDs.
That is Moms In Distress.

Send backup!
Send backup!

[woman]
...the manager.

[all panting]

[all panting]

Well, guess
we failed our trials.

Oh, you think?

No, no.
I'm the one who failed.

I shouldn't have put
you guys through all of this
in the first place.

It was too much,
too soon.

Don't feel too bad.

Turns out we could stand
to learn a few things
about your world.

I just really thought
throwing you into
the deep end would work.

I mean, it worked
for me in Amphibia.

[all] Uh...

-[scoffing, laughing]
- Whoa!

You barely survived.

Yeah. Remember when she
was looking at her phone

and walked right into
that pool of quicksand?

[screams]

Or when she
was napping outside

and a swarm of skullsuckers
tried to carry her away?

[all laughing]

Hey, I don't remember
that last part.

Anne, we were always
looking out for you.

Even if you didn't
always notice.

Thanks, guys.
I had no idea.

And I'll try to do better
about easing you into
this place.

I think we need
to get Hop Pop
to a shower.

Oh, yes, please.
My skin is burning.